The Real Skeleton in My Closet.
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 22 сен 2024
- This was a really difficult video to make, but in today's video I touch on the the topic of mental health, the real skeleton in my closet. This is something that I have kept hidden for a very long time, until now.
Subscribe to GRUFF:
lnkfi.re/sub-t...
Listen to "the woodland"
li.sten.to/the...
Store: gruffbones.com
FOLLOW ME ELSEWHERE
⨯ The Bone Zone - / discord
⨯ Twitter - / gruffbones
⨯ Twitch - / gruffbones
⨯ Instagram - / gruffbones
⨯ TikTok - / gruffbones
⨯ Patreon - / gruffbones
"Ossuary 2 - Turn" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
creativecommons...
"SCP-x7x" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
creativecommons...
"Quinns Song - A New Man" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
creativecommons...
"Wounded" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
creativecommons...
A Cold Night To Remember by TheRelaxedMovement:
Link: / therelaxedmovement
Terms of Use: www.therelaxed...
Business Inquiries: bonesbsns@gmail.com
(Please only send me an email if it is business related)
Thank you for watching the video :)
“Pulling yourself up by the bootstraps” is such a tragic idiom because what it originally described was a literal impossibility. Bootstraps are designed to help put on boots, you physically can't lift yourself up by them. It was used to convey the idea of attempting something impractical, or futile...
REALLY?? that makes so much more sense
Kinda crazy how many expressions like that had their meaning changed when it became convenient for someone else than the author.
I know its not the main part of the video, but decision paralysis has absolutely been the biggest hurdle in my life, its the reason i failed uni, failed to even start a youtube channel, failed to write music by myself. You'll get to your art in time, you just need to procrastinate some other task and itll become a lot easier to start
thank u for sharing this with me even if not the main part of the video !! i didn't know decision paralysis was a thing but it definitely resonates, i'll look more into it but hopefully it gets easier on you as well
Despite how crappy the internet can be, it really opened up a way to connect to people when we are so isolated in real life. So many things that bring me joy and have helped me cope are online. Also wouldn't have found your channel without it!
Those adults and "professionals" that failed you, they really make my blood boil. I hope you find the help you need, please know that it is worth it and that you are worth the time and effort you give yourself. (11 days of sobreity, seriously that's not easy, it takes time, it is progress)
It's so hard but eventually we create our own new normal. Normal to not overwhelm ourselves with shame or guilt, normal to ask for help and know the people who actually do give the help needed, normal to feel like a person and not feel too weird. Going through it one day at a time with one step at a time.
Take care, sending much love and good vibes your way!
that silver lining is definitely true, there's a lot I can thank the internet for, despite the chaos. these days there's a lot of conversation surrounding the internet being filled with negativity, etc. but there is still good, like anywhere/anything
thank you :,) that means a lot, and I can agree on the blood boiling.. it's a large part of why I made this video in the first place,, (true on the sobriety thing as well, I've tried my hand with it more times than I can count, last time I relapsed after almost 2 months, hoping I'll actually reach that milestone this time
creating a new normal is definitely going to be the hardest part, the whole process of "un-conditioning" my ways of thinking and going about life that I've become so accustomed to, but one step at a time, as you said
i appreciate you taking the time to write this, thank you lots
I’ve been looking for your channels for a while. Thank you for posting even though it’s a hard topic for you. I’m glad I can reconnect with your channel, and thank you for being so brave to share more of your story with us ❤
i appreciate you being here, thank you
@@GRUFFBONES ❤️
Will I watch this video about mental health right after having a meltdown of my own? Yes, yes I will, also I'm barely in this vid and already relating, I also had unconventional interests, had barely any friends and the ones I had didn't feel real ❤
and hence we form community here, it all makes sense now
the universe said this video is in right timing
hearing someone talking abt this is comforting in its own way i js went to the dr today and lying abt all the mental health questions is exhausting but i cant afford to be in patient atp but at the same time inam struggling and i cant convey it properly idk hearing u talk abt this is comforting that im not alone in this bullshit 🙏🏻
felt this comment so much tbh, putting it into words is tough shit !! i'm glad this video was comforting for you :)
also love ur pfp , skull shirt and miku is fire
I just wany you know that everything yout feeling is valid and on behalf of your entire community i want to say i am proud of you staying sober is hard and nine days sober is a huge step into the right direction keep doing what your doing to make your life better know that it WILL get better in due time even if it does not feel like it now (also i am a Christian idk what religion if any you align with but i will pray for your life to continue to get better)
Thank you ! I appreciate this a lot :)
I'm not exactly sure what I would label my faith as, I haven't fully sorted out that part of my identity yet, though I do resonate with some Buddhist concepts
I resonate with this a lot, a lot a lot. Especially the "feeling like you need a 'real' reason to feel this way" and shame about feeling like it, I feel like I've been trapped in this way of being/feeling for a long time and although some months are better others aren't and it can feel very,, hopeless in a way. Comfortable in another way? To just sink into it, that you deserve it, that it's not real n you're being too sensitive about things. So it's really really nice that someone else is going through the same stuff. I hope that we both keep fighting n get better :)
Someone once told me that you can't compare suffering- because while someone else might have something "logistically worse" (in whatever capacity that is), you're also going through the worse thing you've experienced. You can't measure experience. And it's valid to be upset or hurting or depressed while going thru the worst thing that's happened to you, it's okay if it's not top ten n it's just a bad thing, we all have different capacities for suffering.
That helped me to feel less guilt, so maybe it helps others feel the same. Hearing your story has helped me a lot tonight, it's been a rough day and honestly hearing someone else being in the same boat? It's really, really comforting. Thank you thank you for sharing. I can't stress enough how much I needed to hear this
Also the HAPPINESS I felt when you mentioned fruits basket?? That was my all-time favourite show/manga in school
i'm happy this resonated with you !! it's exactly why i made this video, i wish you better days as well
that does help a bit, thank you for sharing that with me, hopefully it can help someone else lurking in the comments as well. i'm glad my story helped you, and you're welcome ! it seems timing aligned just as it was meant to be
AND YES !! i hold fruits basket very near and dear to me, i grew up watching it & i relate a lot to kyo, i think if the cat were a real zodiac year, i woulda been a cat instead :,)
This video made me feel so seen, as someone who has been fucked over by mental health professionals I always felt so alone in my experience. Seeing that someone else has went through the same thing I did makes me feel so much more validated in how that experience affected me.
I wish you so much luck in getting the help you need so that you can get to a place where you’re able to live peacefully, because you deserve it after everything you went through.
It sucks that anyone has to relate to this but ! At least we're not alone
Honestly id watch you no matter what, I wish you luck on your journey, We care for you gruff!
Thank you🤎
Congratulations on eleven days sober! That must be huge, I wish you all the best. Thank you for pushing on through the dark days and creating a place where your stories can reach the people who need to hear them. The more I hear stories about mental health professionals and systems failing the people they supposedly exist for, the more it strengthens my resolve to keep pursuing a career in that field and try to make a difference even if for a couple of people. Always nice to see that you've uploaded & to hear your voice. Take good care
Thank you!! It's difficult, but it helps so much knowing there are people who identify with my stories. The fact that these kinds of stories inspire you in your field is also HUGE !! You are the future, it takes one to make a difference
I saw this video on my homepage and for really excited, I remember thinking your channel and your art and overall art style was so fucking cool., I'm genuinely so happy to see you back and to find your channel again.
Rn I'm also picking up the pieces of my life, it's a slow tedious process and every mistake and every set back feels like a moral failure and it takes a blow to my self esteem. I feel like my only motivation to continue what I'm doing is out of shame and to escape what feels like my fate.
But ultimately there is so little in our control, so little that we intend for and that especially is overlooked when it comes to our brains/our mental state. No one chooses to be mentally ill and I feel like if we accepted that as truth than we'd have more compassion for one another.
im so happy youve been able to start advocating for yourself
It can be met with a lot of ups and downs for sure, some days I'm a lot harder on myself than others and so showing up for myself can be rough, but hope still exists nonetheless
It's a shame how frequently people seem to have these kinds of experiences, in respect to, but not exclusively related to healthcare.
It makes me sad hearing how your therapist is handling your situation,, "i don't know how to help you"... as if they don't get paid to do just that.. it it is their job. The justice system and child protective services also are extremely flawed and it's so disappointing how many people are left without answers or solutions as a result. I hope you are able to find a better therapist who can properly advocate for you, you deserve that and more.
Thank you 🤎
I thinks it very brave of you to share your story and taking steps to better your life since it’s extremely difficult to do but you’re doing it. Most people think that with self help you get rid of your problems when in reality especially mentally and emotionally, some things you’ll live with for the rest do your of life but you learn how to properly cope and manage those issues that bestowed upon you unwillingly and now take control of your life and grow and heal. I always appreciate vulnerability as I’ve been actually vulnerable in your same comments and Instagram and honestly you have helped me out a lot in ways not seen. Hope you continue your self healing journey ✨
That's a very hard truth I had to come to terms with tbh, the fact that you have to learn to manage things instead of "getting rid" of it, even now I have a difficult time wrapping my head around it. I appreciate your vulnerability as well, it's just as difficult to be open in a comment as it would be in a video, etc. I'm glad to have helped you in any way I have, and thank you
Holy hell, Xat mention. I haven't heard that name in a loooong time.
I'm surprised anyone at all knows of it LOL, you must have seen some shit online over the years
I hope your psychiatrist appointment goes well! Things will get better :]
Thank you! Can only hope
Can relate to a lot of the emotions you’re going through, especially being terrified of starting a new journey of being and feeling happy after not experiencing it for years. Even when relapsing back into depression during the healing process it was at least still a step forward, and I only have my counselor to thank for being so patient with me and helping discover and better manage myself. You’re already doing so well by taking the step of finding help and being sober for 11 days (seriously you’re already so strong by that alone), I think it’s very important to remember that even if a possible relapse happens it’s best to little that time as best as you could. Every second, minute and hour counts more than you think, they are just as important as a day of being sober. Again, you’re already doing amazing at taking this step and I wish you the best on your journey to feeling more fulfilled!
Thank you :,)) this means so much, and i appreciate you also sharing your experiences. You're absolutely right on relapse not being a step back, though I did feel that way at some point !!
@@GRUFFBONES Same! All that process felt like a waste when relapsing, but it helped being reminded of how far I’ve already gotten and realized the depression relapse didn’t feel as bad as it used to from the start. It’s also letting go of the ideology of what happiness is supposed to look like and just learn to be satisfied where I’m at, and if I want to work on something about myself then I focus on 1 aspect I want to improve on instead of how much “needs” to be improved. Make small stepping stones so to speak.
Congratulations on your sobriety 🎉! Happy to hear that you finally found a good therapist, ready to listen to you. Ask maybe to be evaluated for autism, alot of what you said resonated with my experience, and it turned out I am autistic, and I wish I knew it years ago. Good luck, hang on! You are a beautiful being, your reaction to what happened to you is only logical. Don't put yourself down! ❤
Thank you !! hopefully they help, i'm probably gonna go in blind and see what happens,,, but tbh that wouldn't surprise me, i have a good chunk of people in my life who either have it, or are suspected to have it,,,
i appreciate you saying that :,) will try to not put myself down too much
you explained your story is a very raw and authentic way that i perfectly understand. Its is truly a tough and tiring process to start recovery but oh my gosh it is rewarding and its so awesome that you are wanting to get better. You are brave and resilient and strong. As someone who is one year into mental health recovery, it is the hardest yet best thing i have ever done and getting the courage to start isnt easy. I truly cannot elaborate enough on how seen this video made me feel and happy i feel to see someone have faith and hope in themself. I wish you all the best luck and strength because you can do this! Stay awesome 🫶🫶🫶
Thank you :,)) i'm glad recovery has been good to you !! It's also gratifying knowing this video made you feel seen, it's all i coulda hoped for in making it. I appreciate you writing this, thank you again
@@GRUFFBONES i wish you all the best going forward!!!
Man I feel your struggle I think that you will make it, I you have hit rock bottom there is only one way and that way is up.
part of me thinks there is still a deeper rock bottom to hit but ! i'll hope for the latter
@@GRUFFBONES I believe in you man
i appreciate this, thank you :,) !
Your feelings are very valid
Nice, and thanks for being brave to share more with us now.
It's far from easy but sometimes the conversations that need to happen are the hardest to have
hey, big fan of your content, i relate to most of your stuff :) the biggest insecurity i have is with my voice, ppl in Voice chat situations have told me that it makes them uncomfortable when i speak because its monotone, too soft-spoken, ect, apparently i sound adrognynous to some ppl too because they can never tell if im a male/female? i dont mind that tho, it just bums me out that people find me off-putting just based off how i sound/speak...
Damn i'm sorry ppl are so :/// ,, i don't think some realize how damaging it is to have their voice commented on when it's usually their main form of expressing themselves and communicating
Ah, the good old spiral of not doing things because i feel bad and feeling bad because of not doing things while being shamed for it 😍 /On a more serious note i hope your new psychiatrist can actually help, way too many useless professionals on that field ngl
gotta love it !!
thank you also, it's eye opening how much work healthcare systems needs to do surrounding the topic of mental health
Gruff, you are amazing and are deserving of all the respect and love that you should have ALWAYS gotten. As a trans person, I often sympathize with what you say and often find myself feeling the same way as you have described. I've followed along with your growth and, at least, you should be proud with your openness and that you ARE growing past who you were into being who you ARE.
We're all gonna get though this, I promise.
Thank you for this, I appreciate it very much :,) I'm glad you've been able to resonate with the things I put out, and thank you for being here
i feel you man did somebody dropped a coffee on your webcam?
LOL nah i'm not much a coffee person
thank you so much
Your welcome !
Sorry if my other comment was too much. I hope things get better.
NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE it wasn't too much !! I just have a really hard time sometimes getting to comments that are longer because I want to properly respond to everything, i don't like to long messages with something really short because (to me) it would feel dismissive. Thank you tho i appreciate it
i love you bro
🤎🤎 thank u for being here
It's horrible how professional treated you.
I am not a doctor so please take it with a big grain of salt but 90% of the video sounded to me like untreated adhd.
Adhd is really a lot more then ppl think and comes with higher risk for substance abuse, anxiety, depression and other thing it sounds like you are struggling with. Also a lot of ppl with adhd say they are putting very high expectations on themselves and then not succeeding because they burn out before that. And over sharing is also very common in these people.
I know less about autism but i would also suggest you try looking into that... i just find that most autistic ppl i know had your struggle with not knowing who is a fake friend and in general trusting the wrong people.
I really hope it works out with the new doctor and i want you to remember that you don't need to apologise and that you are not a failure and that it is okay to not be okay.
foddr
I watched the whole video and I wish I could hug you through the screen, I don't think I knew the full extent of what you were going through for the past few years but I really hope for your future becoming brighter and happier than what you've been receiving so far, I know it's been real rough for a while. I hope you know you can come to me or the group if you need to talk about anything we are here for you as always. I am proud of what you've accomplished so far, getting sober is very difficult, I know and getting help especially and then working through all that. I've also had that "worksheet" therapist deal which was no help, I hope the new one you're getting will be way better and listen to you properly. I'm proud to call you my friend. 🫂💜
thank you for everything hype, i love you so much and i wish you the same, never anything less
i am also proud to call you my friend, thank you for being mine
I stumbled upon one of your minecraft videos, watched the video you made about your real voice (because your situation sounded so much like an amazing teen I know), and I am still here. Subscribed and watching, and hoping all the best for your healing and recovery ❤️🩹
i appreciate you being here after all this time !! thank you