Citizen Soldier - I Hate Myself (Official Lyric Video)

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  • Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
  • Why is loving myself so hard?
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    #CitizenSoldierBand #IHateMyself #FightTheGoodFight #MentalHealthMatters

Комментарии • 2,4 тыс.

  • @CitizenSoldier
    @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +243

    Stream/Download 👉 citizensoldier.band/ihm
    Follow Us on Twitch 👉 citizensoldier.band/twitch
    Shop for merch 👉 citizensoldier.band/merch
    Follow us on TikTok 👉 citizensoldier.band/tiktok
    Talk to us on Instagram 👉 citizensoldier.band/instagram
    Please SHARE it with someone that needs to hear it.

    • @mjuytsjmser29
      @mjuytsjmser29 Год назад +2

      Mais uma ótima música pra baixar😊

    • @Renaisance01990
      @Renaisance01990 Год назад +1

      Great 👍 song

    • @armandpotgieter
      @armandpotgieter Год назад

      Please... I think you as a band need help. I used to love this band and being subscribed, but that now ends. I was thinking that depression is something you need to go sort out by getting help, via medication or therapists, and get more positive about life. But each and every song is just basically a reminder to be and stay depro. I will really understand if a band does have a song or two about bad times and depro moods, but wow, having every song as a depro song is wrong. So good luck to the band, and their supporters. I do hope you will find a way to improve your lives and become more positive and more actually willing to live. But yes, this is not the way to make music. Could have been awesome songs from an awesome band if the topic were not only about depression and everything negative in life.

    • @rainlake075
      @rainlake075 Год назад +1

      Hey citizen soldier. I wanted to say thank you for your songs. It made me feel that I wasn’t alone in this world. Your song Deathbed made an anthem to my God and to myself of going though my battles and This is your sign made me feel that I wasn’t apart of this world, but to God. Lastly Hallelujah I’m not dead (My first song I listened to by you guys) showed me that I am strong and worthy to God by fighting and by loving others. Most importantly, I am still alive😇
      May God bless you all
      ~Rain

    • @rainlake075
      @rainlake075 Год назад +1

      @@Vulcanxs hey scuba it’s alright you are going to be ok. Don’t hurt yourself it’s only going to make it worse trust me. Helped a person a week ago and told my problems to him. I told him about a year ago I was going to commit suicide because I thought I will never get better but it’s ok take all the time you need. I don’t know how to help you but I can say this, you are not alone in this world. Don’t give up you are special as well as me and my friend because we were all made by God and was made for something to do. Hope you see this Scuba. May God help you find your way and back to yourself and may he bless you with peace✝️❤️ ~rain

  • @_crimsonwxnter
    @_crimsonwxnter Год назад +3098

    "I Wish somebody loved me as much as I Hate myself" is something I relate to way too much

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +487

      We love you! 🧡

    • @starysunset713
      @starysunset713 Год назад +82

      I can agree only having a few people and none of it blood family cuz they are gone or dont want me sucks.. My bf an his family with our daughter is all i got and im only 19... Im young but ive had my fair share

    • @AnimeTravler
      @AnimeTravler Год назад +30

      I was the same, but now i know that Jesus loved me even more than i hated myself. And i hope you will realize it too. I wish for you to find your way to Jesus

    • @brettskinner1416
      @brettskinner1416 Год назад +20

      I agree with that more than I care to admit.

    • @nicolecodbrajoe5229
      @nicolecodbrajoe5229 Год назад +16

      Same.. big virtual hugs ❤️

  • @Nix1280
    @Nix1280 Год назад +796

    “The more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am” hit me right in the heart. Thanks for another powerful song

    • @fluffybunny0124
      @fluffybunny0124 Год назад +10

      Same too, bro 😅
      I hope you're okay tho 💖

    • @blairm_1621
      @blairm_1621 Год назад +8

      I feel that you alright?

    • @BenthewildchildE750
      @BenthewildchildE750 Год назад +6

      I agree. I hope everyone who reads this finds what makes them happy. ❤

    • @Nix1280
      @Nix1280 Год назад +4

      Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I'll be ok as long as I have music. I hope you guys can all hang on through the tough times too 💜

    • @BenthewildchildE750
      @BenthewildchildE750 Год назад +2

      @@Nix1280 arrrooo! ❤️

  • @mariop.5218
    @mariop.5218 Год назад +687

    Right now in my life...I'm 30, living alone, getting up going to work then come home to an empty apartment by myself. None of my family calls me. I have no friends.
    This song actually made me cry because ever since my mom passed last year I feel every lyric in this song.
    Thank you Citizen Soldier not just for this song but all you guys do for people.

    • @kaleslade7007
      @kaleslade7007 Год назад +37

      As long as her memory exists, she never truly dies. I hope you're doing better, and I'm sure she's in a better place.

    • @mariop.5218
      @mariop.5218 Год назад +14

      @@kaleslade7007 I appreciate you saying this

    • @indranpolarbear6803
      @indranpolarbear6803 Год назад +16

      Hi there, it's OK.. Be strong.. I'm 36 and alone, with no friends to be friends with.. But I have a puppy, she's my first favourite friend ever.. Don't be sad yeah.. Don't feel you're alone.. You're loved you matters in life..

    • @mariop.5218
      @mariop.5218 Год назад +6

      @@indranpolarbear6803 Thank you

    • @kaleslade7007
      @kaleslade7007 Год назад +11

      @@mariop.5218 You're welcome. We all have our demons...it is our job to help each other coexist.

  • @orca8433
    @orca8433 Год назад +134

    I wish I could share this with others without being judged, pitied, or insulted. I feel this so much over the past few decades. It feels like me so much. Thank you for vocalizing my feelings

    • @otterlydan258
      @otterlydan258 7 месяцев назад +1

      I feel you, whenever you share this with people you get judged or called an edge lord. I totally understand how you feel.

    • @Dyson-cq1sb
      @Dyson-cq1sb 5 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah I agree I say how I feel thay leave like why the fuck

    • @UserDroke
      @UserDroke 5 месяцев назад

      Same.

    • @LawrenceVerner
      @LawrenceVerner 5 месяцев назад

      I feel the same

  • @lilpodo9986
    @lilpodo9986 Год назад +116

    “For every time I thought of ending it all wish somebody had felt what I felt” 🥲 such a good song

  • @lyulf
    @lyulf Год назад +557

    This song hurts with how true it is. "I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends" hit really hard. 🧡

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +72

      🧡🧡 hope you're doing ok!

    • @thatspellcastkkid_7672YT
      @thatspellcastkkid_7672YT Год назад +11

      I get that feeling man, so I guess we got something in common. Wanna be friends?

    • @lyulf
      @lyulf Год назад +21

      @@CitizenSoldier I'm not thanks to "being human but the wrong kind." Tired of hating myself down to my existence just for everyone around me to tell me I deserve it. Tired of asking for help just to be left for dead cuz no one cares. Tired of fighting for nothing when I'm not worth fighting for in the first place.

    • @Revan229
      @Revan229 Год назад +12

      @@lyulf ikrrr, i feel the same way. I constantly feel like im the wrong kind of human too, like i cant be loved by anyone. When CS 1st did their seek peek of this song, i played it on repeat and cried bc of how true it is for me. I dont even have any friends.

    • @eltelhkisaragi1720
      @eltelhkisaragi1720 Год назад +6

      I don't know what you are going through and so I might not be in place to speak but I can tell you that everyone deserves to be loved and have worth,one day you'll find someone that will care for you for what you are or listen to your outbursts on bad days and I hope you will love yourself a little more too.

  • @havidikevidi
    @havidikevidi Год назад +681

    I really hope you're okay man. Last time someone made songs like these it didn't end well and no one would want that happen to you too. Stay strong, there are definitely lots of people who love you, especially your audience.

    • @wiktoria6068
      @wiktoria6068 Год назад +62

      Just adding a comment here because i agree and this should be higher to not get lost in all these comments

    • @EmarketingRobots
      @EmarketingRobots Год назад +34

      Scars are reminders of the pain, not meant to be carried forever, like a wound.

    • @towertimesgaming4319
      @towertimesgaming4319 Год назад +74

      The person who started the band tried to commit suicide which is why he started this band in the first place.

    • @nolabratteig988
      @nolabratteig988 Год назад +59

      @@towertimesgaming4319 and look at them now. Helping so many people.

    • @havidikevidi
      @havidikevidi Год назад +2

      ​@@towertimesgaming4319 well its clear he has problems and thats worrying me. I barely ever see people care about his mental state and talk about their problems only instead

  • @ArmyCSfan
    @ArmyCSfan Год назад +334

    I'm really someone who can't love myself no matter what I do or try. I hate myself every time, sometimes for my personality, sometimes for my looks.. It's like this song was written for me too

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +87

      We've all felt this way at times. We love you for who you are 🧡

    • @ArmyCSfan
      @ArmyCSfan Год назад +15

      @@CitizenSoldier thank you so much🥺💞

    • @EclipseManz
      @EclipseManz Год назад +13

      Self hatred really sucks but I hope one day you’ll get past it

    • @ArmyCSfan
      @ArmyCSfan Год назад +7

      @@EclipseManz I hope thank you for your nice words

    • @thatspellcastkkid_7672YT
      @thatspellcastkkid_7672YT Год назад +7

      It happens even to the best of us, let this be a scar to remember that we got through this in our future.

  • @indilamoonwolf
    @indilamoonwolf 7 месяцев назад +24

    Everybody who relates needs a true friend who doesn't judge, just listens, supports, makes you feel fine if even for a moment. We're going through so much and I am honestly in a place where my hate towards me seems just as unconditional as the love I once had
    Edit:
    If anyone reading this needs this person and is willing to be this person for someone else, you can reach out and I'll be here❤

    • @youngasian4208
      @youngasian4208 7 месяцев назад

      Factz

    • @NicoleShaffer-us7ly
      @NicoleShaffer-us7ly 4 месяца назад

      I'm going through a lot rn, and I don't know what to do... I'm always there for everyone else, but when I try to open up, they say it's not their problem... I'm truly think about... it...

    • @indilamoonwolf
      @indilamoonwolf 4 месяца назад

      @Nicole I know how you feel and recently received the help to fight it. I am receiving therapy once a week atm in hopes I'll be better

  • @natalierichard2562
    @natalierichard2562 Год назад +15

    When my heart is broken, when I don’t wanna continue fighting I turn to you guys to help me get through the night. Thank you

  • @Horsemelody1084
    @Horsemelody1084 Год назад +79

    “I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” 🥺 this song is so relatable

  • @caverboy
    @caverboy Год назад +178

    I swear that this is probably their top 3 songs in my opinion. I felt so connected since i first heard it and its just so incredible. #citizensoldierforever

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +33

      Top 3?? We'll take it. Thank you 🧡

    • @Revan229
      @Revan229 Год назад +3

      Id say this is my 1st or 2nd top song by them

    • @caverboy
      @caverboy Год назад +2

      @@Revan229 i said that on the overall songs but it is my top 1

    • @spidermonkey785
      @spidermonkey785 Год назад +2

      I agree I'm not okay, words that's don't exist and now I hate myself are my top 3. Though every song these guys make is amazing

    • @haleybuss6470
      @haleybuss6470 Год назад +3

      Mine are probably this one, words that don’t exist, and easy’s never been this hard

  • @Tripwire_Gaming
    @Tripwire_Gaming Год назад +222

    Dear Citizen Soldier, Thank You For Putting Words To The Feelings I Feel. Thanks For Giving A Voice To Those Who Can't Vocalize Their Emotions And Thank You For All You Guys Do. Whoever Is Reading This, Just Remember No Pain Lasts Forever, Scars Remain But Scars Are What Makes You Unique And Special. You Are Needed By Someone Even If You Don't See It Face To Face. ;IGY6. Stay Strong Together. Tomorrow Is A New Day That We Can Make Our Own! Stay Here, Stay Alive, And Most Importantly Stay You! Its Okay To Not Be Okay. Just Know Someone Out There Is Rooting For You And If You Don't Think Anyone Is.. I Am!

    • @pamwheeler6161
      @pamwheeler6161 Год назад +6

      Stay me? I don't know who I am.

    • @CR-bu9il
      @CR-bu9il Год назад +4

      Thank you because there is no one

    • @chloearmitage9636
      @chloearmitage9636 Год назад +3

      I wish I knew someone or just anyone who cared. The truth for me is that nobody does. If you feel like this nobody understands. I don't know anybody who deals drugs but I just found out my neighbour does. I have asked for some Fentanyl. That should fix everything. I'm a sook for pain and I think that will be painless. Just an overdose and I will sleep. Dreams will go away forever. Just like the pain. She hasn't gotten back to me yet. It's been 3 days. I can have it here and when I'm ready I can just do it. Nobody will know. I am really here alone except for my wonderful dog. He'll be ok though. Other people love him and will take care of him. He will miss me but he'll be ok. Right now I can't even cry anymore.

  • @braydentheriault5217
    @braydentheriault5217 Год назад +12

    “Cause the more I speak, I see just how alone I really am” always gets me 😢

  • @Nikola-vs6fd
    @Nikola-vs6fd 7 месяцев назад +2

    I think this is the only song or video to every make me tear up,also the most relatable one

  • @DylanLee04
    @DylanLee04 Год назад +77

    “The more I speak, the more I see, just how alone I really am” this line hit me hard. Love it guys. Thanks for bringing all the great hits

  • @NearLover15
    @NearLover15 Год назад +81

    I love this song, it’s like giving my past self a hug, I felt this for so long, all alone and now?
    I have finally found the people who do love me as much as I hate myself

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +19

      We love you 🧡🧡

    • @thatspellcastkkid_7672YT
      @thatspellcastkkid_7672YT Год назад +6

      A worthy comment to up. We can all reach what this person had reached, to find the ones who will be with us, thick and thin. Let this be our torch, for a tomorrow a hundred times brighter than this at best.

  • @NyctoNel
    @NyctoNel Год назад +85

    Always hyped for a new citizen soldier song

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +14

      Thank you for the support!

    • @DasHeino2010
      @DasHeino2010 Год назад +6

      @@CitizenSoldier NO! Thank you for your support!

  • @Star2pointO
    @Star2pointO 9 месяцев назад +107

    I wish I was beautiful I wish I was smart. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was dead. I wish I didn’t have depression. I wish I didn’t have anxiety. I wish I felt loved. I wish people understood how I feel I wish my mom didn’t make me go to therapy. I wish I had someone to feel the pain with me. I wish I could feel happy again like I did 7 years ago. I wish I had friends. I wish I didn’t need to feel numb or like my life is a nightmare. I wish I could feel like people care for me. I wish the monsters in my head could not keep me up until 1:00am. I wish I never started becoming sad when I was 7.

    • @MadisonThomas-s8k
      @MadisonThomas-s8k 5 месяцев назад +6

      I hear u here. My dad is gone and has been. Most my friends r terrible.

    • @dragon_mancer1220
      @dragon_mancer1220 5 месяцев назад +7

      You are beautiful. You are smart, you are skinny. You just need to believe that you are and push yourself to your goals. Eventually, you can achieve those ambitions just need to have hope❤️

    • @aurexify
      @aurexify 4 месяца назад +4

      You need to stop using food as a coping mechanism. Now, it will be hard, but once you have a body you're proud of you will be much happier.

    • @MathildeBuusMøller
      @MathildeBuusMøller 4 месяца назад +1

      You need therapy🫤 and whomp whomp 🤫🧏‍♂️

    • @kalpanapandey337
      @kalpanapandey337 3 месяца назад +1

      You are beautiful you don't have to compare yourself ❤ lots of love to you and take care

  • @meifongmimi
    @meifongmimi Год назад +99

    Lyrics
    I wish that I had somebody to call when I am not okay
    I wish that I had anyone who cared when I am in that place
    I wish I could have a mental breakdown
    Without turning my life into a ghost town
    So many things I would change
    But more than anything
    I wish somebody loved me
    As much as I hate myself
    I wish somebody listened
    As much as I go through hell
    For everytime I've thought of ending it all
    Wish somebody had felt what I felt
    I wish somebody loved me
    As much as I hate myself
    I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed
    I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends
    I wish I could be honest about the ugly
    Without every single person running from me
    These days it's hard to have faith
    And more than anything
    I wish somebody loved me
    As much as I hate myself
    I wish somebody listened
    As much as I go through hell
    For everytime I've thought of ending it all
    Wish somebody had felt what I felt
    I wish somebody loved me
    As much as I hate myself
    The floods I feel
    This storm could kill
    I'm better off to keep it damned
    'Cause the more I speak
    The more I see
    Just how alone I really am
    I wish somebody loved me
    As much as I hate myself
    I wish somebody listened
    As much as I go through hell
    For everytime I've thought of ending it all
    Wish somebody had felt what I felt
    I wish somebody loved me
    As much as I hate myself

  • @MrHortsu
    @MrHortsu Год назад +84

    Living with anxiety disorder and depression these songs give me power to stay here and woke up every morning ❤️

  • @wolfrebel4834
    @wolfrebel4834 Год назад +37

    "The more I speak the more I see just how alone I really I am" is one line that will stick with me

  • @nolabratteig988
    @nolabratteig988 Год назад +12

    This band has a particular ability to help so many even if they don't know it.

  • @papawheelie81
    @papawheelie81 Год назад +3

    Love is always conditional for those who've never had it. Only kids, women and dogs are loved unconditionally.

  • @arronbailey5760
    @arronbailey5760 6 месяцев назад +1

    this band has saved my life more times than i can count thank you so much ❤

  • @unknownmusiclover3903
    @unknownmusiclover3903 Год назад +43

    This song hits hard.
    I really wish I wasn't so alone with the struggles.

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +14

      You aren't. We're all in this together, a family. Happy to have you with us 🧡

    • @unknownmusiclover3903
      @unknownmusiclover3903 Год назад +2

      @@CitizenSoldier I'm very glad to be a part of this family.
      It makes it a bit easier to just keep going when giving up looks like paradise .

    • @MooodyDawe
      @MooodyDawe Год назад +3

      Sending virtual hug unknown music lover ♥

    • @unknownmusiclover3903
      @unknownmusiclover3903 Год назад

      @@MooodyDawe thanks

    • @thomaskatona5078
      @thomaskatona5078 Год назад +1

      Feel the same way. But I guess people have there own shit to deal with. I give so much credit to those who suffer like this to somehow deal with it all better than me.

  • @drawingdinokai
    @drawingdinokai Год назад +49

    "For every time I've thought of ending it all, I wish somebody had felt what I felt" Damn that hits hard.. Thank you guys for yet another absolute banger, of which that means a lot, to so many people ❤❤

    • @teamdarkfan317
      @teamdarkfan317 Год назад

      I don’t understand that lyric “I wish that somebody felt what I felt” it makes it sound like you want so one to suffer like you do

    • @drawingdinokai
      @drawingdinokai Год назад +5

      @@teamdarkfan317 For me it relates a lot to the feeling of being alone. The feeling that you have no one to go to/talk to. And so, by "I wish somebody had felt what I felt" to me you're wishing for someone to go through what you went through, so that you're NOT alone.
      I am terrible at explaining and that's not all of it, but that's A relation to what it means to some people

    • @TheUnknownGam3r
      @TheUnknownGam3r Год назад +3

      @@teamdarkfan317 It's not that you want someone else to suffer. It's that you want to know that someone out there truly understands what you're going through so that you don't feel so alone.
      And by truly understanding, I mean someone who has actually been through it and thus can relate. Not just somebody who says that they understand when they actually don't because they think it's the right thing to say and is what we want to hear. But doing such generally has the opposite effect and quite often leads to us closing ourselves off to you because you're just yet another person who doesn't understand.
      Hope this clears it up for you.

  • @_hiraeth_
    @_hiraeth_ Год назад +17

    It's insane how you guys CAN'T make a bad song. This is so powerful and beautiful.

  • @cronk2323
    @cronk2323 7 месяцев назад +8

    Okay new fucking rule. Do not listen to new songs while driving. This one instantly wrecked me and now I'm having a breakdown on the freeway.

  • @Ragelikehell
    @Ragelikehell Год назад +1

    this song actually broke me.. damn it hits hard.

  • @brightclaw7187
    @brightclaw7187 Год назад +80

    To all those who need to hear this. You are loved. You are wanted. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. “No pain, no gain.” You are all living proof of these quotes. Your abuse hurts and will probably continue hurting but this will make you a stronger person. Your bravery and strength to hold on will be rewarded in the future. Don’t give up now because there is so much out there worth living. If you die, you’ll never experience the joy and happiness of life. You’re your own jury, your own judge. Don’t look at others. Only look at yourselves because you matter. You always have, ever since you were born, and you always will. “Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child.” You aren’t the monster. Whoever is torturing you is. Love yourself and others will love you. Respect yourself and other will respect you. “Your abuse is your glory” as Citizen Soldier has said in one of his songs. Your abuse is your glory and the story you will write in your future. No one is like you. God makes everyone different and if you die. Your uniqueness dies with you. No one wants that. If your loved ones can’t see that then they are not truly your loved ones. There is no one else like you. Don’t think you are inferior. Everyone is the same. What matters is what’s in your heart, nothing else. Remember that and live your life to the fullest so one day, you can look back and say “I really did it all.” Live life with no regrets and leave this world happily knowing you experienced everything you’ve ever wanted. Karma will punish those who’ve hurt you and Karma will reward you for your glorious bravery. You’re the next generation and the warriors of this world. You’re special. One day this world will see that. Everyone who’s ever doubted you will see that. You don’t need anyone’s approval other than your own. Never forget that and live a life full of love, happiness and fulfilment. We’re all with you :)
    Sorry if I started rambling but seeing all these comments about how people have suffered just made me want to say this to everyone who needs it. I hope you don’t mind if you’ve read all the way to here and sorry if I wasted your time but I’ll always be here for anyone who needs to vent.

    • @Niky_the_weird_kid
      @Niky_the_weird_kid 11 месяцев назад +1

      This made me cry but im happy for it

    • @FirestoneAnimation
      @FirestoneAnimation 11 месяцев назад +3

      But how much does something have to fail to kill me before I can finally stop feeling its attacks?

    • @Gracieplayz-b6r
      @Gracieplayz-b6r 11 месяцев назад +3

      Been waiting 60 yrs 4 a god,creator,karma or what ever to come help.but so far.NOTHING.don't know how or why i,m here & what keeps me

    • @EvaEva-wi6jx
      @EvaEva-wi6jx 11 месяцев назад +1

      Wow 😳
      You must have went through alot to have said all of this as wisely as u said it 😢

    • @brightclaw7187
      @brightclaw7187 11 месяцев назад

      @@EvaEva-wi6jx
      Actually, no. I haven't experienced anything like all of you have. I'm just speaking from my own emotions.

  • @antonio4259
    @antonio4259 Год назад +7

    I had to write up a devotional for this weekend about mental health and the Bible. I referenced this song in the devotional. This is something I relate to way more than people in my life will ever know. But praise God I am now in a better place! Thank you for this music that shares the struggles that so many people have

  • @rann8387
    @rann8387 Год назад +4

    The connection I feel through your lyrics is like the hug that keeps me on the bridge.

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +3

      You are so loved. Happy to be that for you ❤

  • @KaiLucasZachary
    @KaiLucasZachary Год назад +93

    I genuinely don't think it's possible for someone to love me as much as I hate myself. I don't think anyone can give me the type of love I want. I want too much.

    • @Zzzbaby89888
      @Zzzbaby89888 Год назад +2

      Maybe want less ?! Genius just kidding but seriously maybe adjust your standards 😅what exactly do you bring to the table

    • @KaiLucasZachary
      @KaiLucasZachary Год назад +13

      @@Zzzbaby89888 Why would you come onto a video like this and attack people in the comments over what’s clearly suicidal ideology?
      I don’t need to prove my worth to you. All my college degrees and life passions have no bearing on the fact that I have no family to love me.

    • @Zzzbaby89888
      @Zzzbaby89888 Год назад +4

      @@KaiLucasZachary I’m sorry dude I didn’t mean to call you out like that I feel you I are valuable tho even if u don’t feel like it

    • @vanner66
      @vanner66 Год назад +7

      I'm suffering after 6 relapes. I hope you find happiness and joy. Improvement and love. I want everyone to be happy, including you. ❤

    • @alexanderludwigthaddeusvandarc
      @alexanderludwigthaddeusvandarc Год назад +4

      it's so funny when i look at all the reply of OP comment, how a stranger acting noble and care also selling lies to other stranger especially when the subject ones had mental health issue.

  • @AlexanderAnderson6783
    @AlexanderAnderson6783 3 месяца назад +3

    Idk what to say this is actually amazing.
    I understand the reletable parts in the song bc reality isnt easy. Ik that there is parts when u want to loose yourself.
    But when life is hard, distract yourself with something you enjoy, listen to music to calm your mind. And finally, talk it to your family or friends.
    Ik life isnt easy, ive seen it happen. Just know that your doing your best.

  • @milenaialeksandrajankovic2210
    @milenaialeksandrajankovic2210 Год назад +12

    I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed 💙 Another great song! 💛 Thank you Citizen Soldier! 💜💜💜

  • @scarface7079
    @scarface7079 Год назад +21

    Absolutely love the songs I hope you guys keep creating these amazing songs that a lot of people can resonate as these have helped me understand things I never could’ve understood before

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +3

      Thanks for the support! We will continue to create music for the fans like you 🧡

  • @TrayXCooper
    @TrayXCooper Год назад +7

    This is honestly one of the best songs I have heard that describe how I felt.
    This band honestly is the best band that has songs that truly express how I feel.
    You guys don't hide the meaning through advanced poetry in your song writing.
    You guys just go straight for it and get straight to the point in your lyrics and have the most balls out of any band to express these feelings this specifically.
    There is no questions to what your songs are about.
    Its clear as day and I love it

  • @Mahaveth
    @Mahaveth Год назад +5

    This song hits home in more ways than one. Thank you Citizen Soldier for putting these feelings into words. ❤

  • @1337Shisha
    @1337Shisha Год назад +1

    der song spiegelt mich einfach zu 1000%

  • @BeastlyBrand
    @BeastlyBrand Год назад +585

    I'm listening to this on my birthday, wishing my family would listen to my problems... But no. I'm forced to put a mask on, pretending I'm happy.
    Edit:
    It's been over a year since i posted this, and i hope everyone who has replied or will reply in the future has their lives turned for the better. If there's at least one person rooting for you, it's me.

    • @manjareekiriwaththuduwa4104
      @manjareekiriwaththuduwa4104 6 месяцев назад +17

      Hey dude are you okay now....

    • @BeastlyBrand
      @BeastlyBrand 6 месяцев назад +44

      @@manjareekiriwaththuduwa4104 Honestly, yeah.
      I managed to pull through & I came out stronger than before.
      Still have a few unsolved problems, but I'm working on them at a steady pace.
      Thank you for asking.

    • @georginabibby6632
      @georginabibby6632 6 месяцев назад +6

      Same I am crying and shouting

    • @manjareekiriwaththuduwa4104
      @manjareekiriwaththuduwa4104 6 месяцев назад +14

      @@BeastlyBrand I'm really really happy to know that brother... I'm really proud of you.. Keep fighting man. You got it...
      Sending virtual love and hugs 🥹🫂❤️❤️❤️

    • @AmyStarMoonLight
      @AmyStarMoonLight 6 месяцев назад +7

      I feel your pain I wish my dad cared about me and listen to my problems without him just thinking about himself🥺

  • @lillianastorm6985
    @lillianastorm6985 Год назад +16

    There are some powerful lyrics in this one. Thank you guys for the reminder that I'm not alone. This week has been a little hard for me since I just found out that my mom's love is conditional. I'm lucky enough to have a good support system, but this song hit different with this going on. Keep up the great work guys 🧡

  • @michaliskleimenidis
    @michaliskleimenidis Год назад +6

    I'm going through my darkest moments and I find comfort in these songs. Thank you.

  • @NilayDeep
    @NilayDeep Месяц назад +2

    Somehow every single line is relatable for me.

  • @MadisonMerkt
    @MadisonMerkt 4 месяца назад +2

    This song represents my life thanks for this song

  • @stitch_love9429
    @stitch_love9429 Год назад +7

    This song is perfect. There are no other words for it. For the past 4 years ive finally had someone who has proven that some how someone cares enough about me loves me enough for the both of us. Who remimds me there is a reason to living. Even when most of the time i dont want to. He has pushed me to get the help i need. I wont say im better. But im working on it. Im not gonna be the person to say it gets better because not always it does. But when you find that someone who loves you enough it does get a little easier to breath to find hope. My life is still a dark place to be but with him in it theres atleast a small light. Your music always hits differently then other artists. Its like a deep understanding that no one else can understand so keep doing what your doing. Your music im sure keeps people going. Least for me it has.

  • @XBelowTheWindX
    @XBelowTheWindX Год назад +7

    Every single song from citizen soldier is a punch to the gut. A very validating punch to the gut, followed by a long, tight hug that tells you that you’re not alone. It’s so, so amazing to have the things you’ve felt be put to words in a way that you never could. Describing feelings you never thought you could describe. Resonating with the lyrics and the stories and knowing that there are thousands of other people feeling that exact same way, connecting people across countries and continents with both shared trauma and the shared hope that things will always get better. I’m crying again, but it’s worth it. Love this, and love you 💛

  • @bangtanarmy5991
    @bangtanarmy5991 Год назад +10

    The amount of emotion and feelings you guys put in the song is just crazy! Loved it

  • @StoneColdZ13
    @StoneColdZ13 6 месяцев назад +2

    "I wish I had somebody to call when I am not okay" The first line in the song already hit me like a truck

    • @San-f7h
      @San-f7h 3 месяца назад

      Me too.

  • @claudiawilms2605
    @claudiawilms2605 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this...feel it so deep...
    I deal with depression, borderline and dismorphic disorder since over 40 yrs bcs of emotional neglet. Grewing up in a cult with narcissistic parents I got abused bullied and controlled later got shunned by my family and left this place 1997.
    I'm not able to see myself like others see me or love myself. And I will be 55 next month...the only thing I can do is giving my son what I never experienced...unconditional love

  • @stephenscheitzach2124
    @stephenscheitzach2124 Год назад +5

    To anyone who feels the same you are loved. Don't ever forget to make a name for yourselves and always remember to try and keep your heads up. Your stronger than you realize

  • @yolas2422
    @yolas2422 Год назад +7

    This entire song is just something I'm able to relate to and have been able to, I've accepted it and the fact I'll never get better, I just hope I can help others I come into contact with not feel the way I feel about myself, this world, and life in general. If anyone reads get help if you need to and you deserve to spend the rest of your days in happiness and joy

  • @jefferyking2024
    @jefferyking2024 3 месяца назад +1

    "For every time I thought of ending it all I wish somebody had felt what I felt" hit hard for me definitely

  • @poltergoose_uwu
    @poltergoose_uwu Год назад +4

    "I wish somebody loved me...as much as i hate myself" such a raw line!!! 🥺🖤
    I want y'all to know that your music is part of the reason why I'm still here, I can always find a song for any mood I'm in and it saves me. Keep up the exceptional work!!

  • @pelicandom4246
    @pelicandom4246 Год назад +6

    Y’all have done it again creating a lovely if not heartbreaking song! I remember being in a place of self-loathing wishing I had people I could lean on and I’ve happy to say I’ve found my group and am learning to be kind to myself more and more every day!

  • @Serenity_93
    @Serenity_93 Год назад +10

    Seriously they can NEVER disappoint with their songs 🎵 I cannot tell you how much these songs saved my life 🧡

  • @davidogundipe808
    @davidogundipe808 Год назад +13

    This song slaps! Thank you Citizen soldier.

  • @lost_ghost311
    @lost_ghost311 4 месяца назад +1

    If my tears were colorful, then my pillow would be a beautiful painting.

  • @theblackbrazillian76
    @theblackbrazillian76 Год назад +1

    You are loved but you won't see it until you rid yourself of hatred. Love and hate cannot walk hand in hand.....

  • @paperwormscat9760
    @paperwormscat9760 Год назад +7

    Every song of you guys makes me cry. I can relate to all of your songs very much. It is good that you exist. And that you make this music. You can express what many of us think and feel.

  • @keiz2life
    @keiz2life Год назад +4

    You know you feel that emotion when you get goosebumps and memories

  • @chelseahunter5089
    @chelseahunter5089 Год назад +30

    Now I remember why I don't listen to songs for the first time in public. "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself" almost burst out in tears in the middle of a restaurant. 😢 All of your songs destroy me in the best way because they are so damn relatable

    • @SonicEditz_3109
      @SonicEditz_3109 11 месяцев назад

      I get insulted every day ever since my mother died this song is so Damn relatable 😢

    • @IHMyself
      @IHMyself 10 месяцев назад

      @@SonicEditz_3109 Damn, that's so not okay to get bullied over (nothing is, but that's especially not), hope you're doing okay! And sorry for your loss.

  • @DreamNLego.
    @DreamNLego. Год назад +5

    Every lyric in this song, is as deep as the ocean. I remember when I first listened to this I was tearing up, and also like “dam! I felt that”

  • @sumijahannn
    @sumijahannn 6 месяцев назад +2

    I have social anxiety I hate myself...But seeing so many hate themselves makes me realize I am not only one

  • @Ventiiiiiii
    @Ventiiiiiii Год назад +26

    Last night when it was added to my playlist at midnight I was shocked because I thought it was Tuesday but I was also so excited! 😂❤❤ I love this song so much..!

  • @mariannejrgensen2644
    @mariannejrgensen2644 Год назад +4

    Thank you for making a song that describes how I have felt for over a year now. And nobody understands how I feel inside.

  • @salem_gray.264
    @salem_gray.264 Год назад +4

    "I wish I could be honest bout the ugly, without every single person running from me" & "I wish someone loved me as much as I hate myself"... you guys really speak out to us suffering from inner turmoil. Keep on jammin on guys 🤘🤟🏻🙌

  • @KittyMeow1993
    @KittyMeow1993 2 месяца назад +1

    I just found this song and I’m bawling my eyes out. My heart breaks for anyone else in the same mental prison as I am. No one deserves it.

  • @maruchan5736
    @maruchan5736 Год назад +2

    I wish i really had someone to talk to who understands... and not only in my head...

  • @cerindaemon5689
    @cerindaemon5689 Год назад +16

    This song hits me a whole lot. "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself" resonates with me.
    Every mistake or failed attempt triggers that self-deprecation so much. It has been at a high ever since I had messed up a relationship all because a devil named Anxiety took control.

  • @DemonYoriichiTsugikuni.
    @DemonYoriichiTsugikuni. Год назад +5

    " I wish somebody loved me as much I hate myself, I wish somebody listend as much I go throught Hell " are the most powerfull words that explain our socity now!
    We all need to learn to *love* , *listen* and *understand!*
    The first words of the song are already giving vibes that it will be beautifull as always! 🧡
    I wish to everyone to have a great every Day! 🧡

  • @AradhanaJain-q3c
    @AradhanaJain-q3c 7 месяцев назад +2

    do not worry citizen soldier we all went through the same😭😭

  • @AdalynnGray
    @AdalynnGray 7 месяцев назад +1

    I love these songs, “I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” is so true

  • @LegionoftheBlackStar
    @LegionoftheBlackStar Год назад +6

    This song is everything that I expected it to be. I broke into tears as soon as I heard this clip. This is one of my greatest struggles in my life. There's such an intense amount of self-hatred that I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Thank you, Citizen Soldier! I was looking forward to this one when I saw the tracklist for Scarecrow.

  • @jbmhsv
    @jbmhsv 10 месяцев назад +2

    I've never had a song touch me this deeply....

  • @heartthatuser
    @heartthatuser Год назад +5

    This is exactly how I felt last year in my first year of university. New place, haven't made any friends, would cry myself to sleep sometimes. It felt better sometimes to know I didn't have friends that I could drive away if they knew what happens in my mind. Hell I still make myself feel that way today, "the more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am" and it was easier to say to made up friends cuz it's just voicing it to myself. Painfully beautiful song 🧡

  • @TheLionNamedLeo
    @TheLionNamedLeo Год назад +1

    "the more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am"....damn took the words out of my head...I can really relate to that

  • @luciferpetrenkoff5040
    @luciferpetrenkoff5040 10 месяцев назад +2

    I will never find someone that loves me as much as I hate myself. I utterly, truly and absolutely despise and detest myself

  • @A_AA_AA_AA_AA_A
    @A_AA_AA_AA_AA_A Год назад +4

    “I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” Shit hit hard cause I wish this too, You did amazing on this song!

  • @thefutureisqueer3899
    @thefutureisqueer3899 Год назад +7

    I’ve struggled with trauma and depression from such a young age that I never got to develop relationships properly, this really hits home. I’m in therapy trying to improve, but I still feel unloveable

  • @RAVENOIR13
    @RAVENOIR13 Год назад +4

    This song hit me hard. I can relate with every single words in the lyrics. Thanks for making this song. Gonna listen to this song everytime the episode hits. I really need this kind of music, cause i have nobody to talk with, and i never share my feelings to anyone else, music is my only escape. At least with this music i felt like i have someone that understand me.

  • @NicholasWeaver-e3b
    @NicholasWeaver-e3b 5 месяцев назад +2

    I’m don’t know what’s more frightening. How moved I was by the song, or how much my life resembles it.

  • @miam_my
    @miam_my 2 месяца назад +1

    I think every year I keep coming back to you but oh well here I am back. First time I listened to you was 4 years ago when I was 14 thinking that was the worst I have ever felt which partly it was. Now I am back here, 18 and way worse than before still I’d like to thank you for these awesome songs. I was just listening to would anyone care when suddenly my ytb put this one next, I wanted to leave cuz I didnt know the song until the lyrics literally hit me and oh well here I am listening it on loop.
    It is like you have a way to draw me back each time i hate myself and I love it.
    Now enough about me, I would like to say that even though I am just a stranger I seriously hope you are doing well with your mental health, I know how hard it must be to feel like this, I hope you will find the happiness you deserve and that everything will be okay. You are an amazing singer and its like you bring emotions to your songs. You’re so talented and such a good human.
    Take care of yourself and have a nice life!

  • @SulphurFoxx
    @SulphurFoxx Год назад +6

    Damn... this song here really does cut in deep. Thanks CS! Another banger as always

  • @bogdan-cristiantimofte5625
    @bogdan-cristiantimofte5625 Год назад +15

    I wish I could've heard this song earlier
    I love it in a way I can't explain. I wish I can love me as much as I used to hate myself
    Thank you CitizenSoldier! I can never stop my desire to feel the inspiration from your songs

  • @SABERTOOTH19981
    @SABERTOOTH19981 Год назад +7

    Thank you so much for this amazing piece! As always, wonderfully done 😊😊

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад

      Awww thanks to you as well for checking the music out

    • @SABERTOOTH19981
      @SABERTOOTH19981 Год назад

      @@CitizenSoldier always! You guys' music speaks to things that many don't have the ability to articulate, and it's a beautiful amazing thing 🥰

  • @DorothyOfOz1960
    @DorothyOfOz1960 3 месяца назад +1

    "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself". Wow!

  • @codyyoung5354
    @codyyoung5354 Год назад +2

    Dude his voice when he goes heavy metal type and it trails out is just BEAUTIFUL

  • @justaregulardude3195
    @justaregulardude3195 Год назад +6

    These lyrics always hit close to home and that's probably why I love this band so much because it finally feels like I've found someone going through a lot of the same anguish as me

  • @anabelapimentel3865
    @anabelapimentel3865 Год назад +4

    “I wish I had somebody to call when I am not ok” hit hard I have anxiety it started at the age of 9 when I started to get bullied and now I am 10 and stuck in hell and can’t get out please help

  • @jarp5148
    @jarp5148 Год назад +4

    This song is literally currently my stage of life.

  • @Starwishpony
    @Starwishpony 6 месяцев назад

    You guys have saved my life with your music and the way you guys just, connect with your fans is on another level. You are the heroes that was needed in my and everyone else's lives. Thank you for spreading your messages around the world.

  • @bettybutler3327
    @bettybutler3327 Год назад +1

    We are listening now and saying we love you..just be you and do whatever you can to get out of the darkness. There is a light a truth and he is your first love..your creator and he loves you..he is the way to joy, peace and hope. God bless all who are listening and reading this❤

  • @feemuller7107
    @feemuller7107 Год назад +5

    "I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made-up friends" hits so hard. Thank you for this masterpiece

  • @florianb1458
    @florianb1458 Год назад +5

    already heard it on spotify and love it. Well done as always

  • @hayleeramos278
    @hayleeramos278 Год назад +6

    Thank you so much for this song I needed this ❤❤❤❤🥺

    • @CitizenSoldier
      @CitizenSoldier  Год назад +2

      Glad you like it! 🧡🧡🧡🧡

    • @hayleeramos278
      @hayleeramos278 Год назад +2

      @@CitizenSoldier you guys make my day❤❤❤

  • @hannaharnold9832
    @hannaharnold9832 6 месяцев назад +2

    I feel like this all the time. I'm used to it.

  • @Deku_ofc1
    @Deku_ofc1 9 месяцев назад +1

    OMG I LOVE THIS THIS IS HOW I FEEL 😭❤

  • @Java_Dude25
    @Java_Dude25 3 месяца назад +3

    fuck man im bawling right now.
    sometimes i wish i would i have went through with it, but there were always obstacles in my way.
    for the first 12 years of my life, i had a narcissistic, abusive father who always abused my mother, he never understood my Autism and ADHD and he used to say lies about it that made me throw up in my mouth, today im 16 with PTSD and ive been suffering Depression since I was only 6. years. old. I used to lock myself in my bedroom and Eat and eat and eat and eat. my stress eating was so bad, i was 300lbs at 10 years old. not a single person understood me in elementary school, which meant I didnt have friends until HIGH SCHOOL.
    those horrible memories still haunt me to this day, but me and my mother are in a safe place now.