Steven Seagal Movie Submerged Is Like 4 Movies And They're All The Worst - Worst Movie Ever
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2022
- The Steven Seagal movie Submerged is completely incoherent nonsense. The plot makes no sense, the action scenes are insulting, and Steven Seagal barely shows up even in his own scenes. It's truly a remarkable achievement of laziness and apathy.
#stevenseagal #badmovies #worstmovies #moviereview 
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make one with a movie with scott adkins!
@Space Ice do you reckon you'd be able to collate a list, and total of the budgets for each of these tragedies? Just so we know much people have spunked on these productions, and how they keep coming, despite being WORSE than box office films.. Pure z listers!! Also, how much has Seagull earned from the lot??!!
The guy they force to bring with them is the Lt" from Aliens"🤣3:47
@@bricktop2090 cant believe i missed that one.. seen the other reviews?? classic!!!
Sad cos Bullet toof tony & harry The Hatchet are in this they are both legends
spose actors gotta get work tho :(
It submerged because of his weight
lol
It's a metaphor for his career😂😂😂
Lmao
@Jay lol
@@lefthandcigg4253 it’s not. u envious human
Love how you put the line "Worst movie ever" in the thumbnail of every Seagal movie, and all of them make sense.
I wonder if there is a ranking, lol.
@@hardyjoe4278 They're all the same movie just renamed 😂😂
@@hardyjoe4278 They are all equally tied for last place lolol
Anyways ... :D
and of course every Van Damme movie review is named "greatest movie ever"
"sees Seagal's body double and realizes some really stupid shit is about to go down". Lines like this is why I watch Space Ice.
Space ice 🤣🤣🤣🤣👍
Actually, that guy in the tunnel shooting to one side was in fact killing enemy soldiers with trick-shot ricochets. Devilishly clever.
It would had been clever if they were taking cover behind an obstacle and there wasn't a direct line of sight... unfortunately for the plot both parties were right out in the open! 😂
lol
I wish that Steven Seagal would continue to make these movies. Not because I have any intention of watching them, but so that I can cry laughing watching these reviews.
Right there with ya! Steven Seagal is now my favorite actor...
We could start a petition and cater to Seagal's ego.
I'm ashamed to admit I've actually watched a couple after seeing it be roasted on here 1st 😂
This stuff is absolute gold... Died when it was pointed out that Seagal was waddling down the hallway after needlessly ducking through a doorway!!!!
Few things have made me laugh as hard as these reviews. This dude's freaking voice!!!
The guy shooting off to the side in the tunnel was the best part
You laugh but he had saved them all by taking out the ninjas hiding in the corner and crates.
F*&# it!, we ain't doing a retake. 😁🤣
He saw that ricochet trick shot youtube movie.
@@Mr2368887 That was gold, mate. Really got me laughing 😃
He was the most talented shooter on the whole squad..he was actually bending his bullets 'wanted' style. He was responsible for killing more than half of the enemy squad
I DIED at "Cartman: Right about hier!" 😂😂😂
Your hilarious reviews of Steven's movies led me to look at his wiki page, and I have to say he is truly a fascinating chap. It's full of doozies like this - "Additionally, while serving as stunt coordinator for Out for Justice, LeBell allegedly got into an on-set altercation with Seagal over his mistreatment of some of the film's stunt performers. After the actor claimed that, due to his aikido training, he was "immune" to being choked unconscious, LeBell offered Seagal the opportunity to prove it. LeBell is said to have placed his arms around Seagal's neck, and once Seagal said "go", proceeded to choke him unconscious, with Seagal losing control of his bowels". That sounds like such a Seagal thing to do.
Everyone says Seagal is completely full of sh-t ,but Gene LeBell can testify that on that day, at least, he was not. Although his pants were.
@@partyboi8773 LOL
It was a moment where life became a kind of poetry.
Yea that's a true story. Verified by Gene himself and other witnesses. Ofcourse, seagal denies it.
That was truly a 4D chess move from Seagal!!
Steven hiding behind the newspaper cartoonishly had me laughing for 3 minutes straight. My checks and stomach are aching of so much laughter.
lol
Who even read newspapers these days anyways?
He stood out even more for reading one.
Hah. You've all been fooled. Fools! That wasn't even Steven hiding behind the newspaper. Pay attention.
@@TatankaTaylor Old people do.
Omg I watched that about 5 times in a row. "Where could he be?" 😂😂
Seagal being too lazy to film himself walking or speak lines off-camera is admirable in a sick, unbelievable kind of way.
Hahahahahahahaha !!! :D :D
Perfectly summed !
Its probably because he is a narcisstic jerk and think the body double makes him hotter.
Peak Seagal is going to be him and his body double together in the same scene and talking at the same time.
I really miss actors like Seagal
@@RJLbwb should make a movie about him and his body double who do all the work while people praise Segal
Here's a fun fact for everyone. This particular movie had an estimated $8 Million budget, (with $5 Million of that going to Seagal and the other $3 Million used for everything else "combined") but made only $71,915 in ticket sales... world-wide... total. Now, if we look at the average price of a movie ticket of $11, that would mean that about 6,538 people... world-wide... saw this movie. Considering that, at the time of this comment, this video has had 156,615 views... almost 24x as many people have watched his movie on your channel than watched his actual movie. In fact, if we add up all the movies he wrote/produced since his golden age of Hollywood movies, his combined movie budgets are around $532 Million (averaging about $5M per movie in budget) and the combined gross world-wide sales would be around $2.8 Million (According to IMDb). How does he afford to keep making movies?
Money laundering scheme perhaps
For the last ~twenty years he only did direct-to-DVD/streaming movies. These movies make no box-office numbers.
But in the 80/90's he sure did make movies that generated money. _"Above The Law"_ grossed $18,869,631 in soley the U.S. This is without video/DVD sales and royalties for TV and streaming.
But yeah, I often read that his latest movies are somehow a money laundering scheme.
@@yannick245 I agree on the box office info part, but IMDB doesn't make a distinction between the terms for sales, so it's worldwide gross sales that they are talking about. Yeah, those were the Hollywood, big budget movies that, thankfully, he didn't have control of.
1 million of that budget paid Seagal's bill he racked up at the strip clubs.
@@hdofu He wasn't actually paid that much, and the budget wasn't 8 million, that's not how this form of money laundering works.
"No one gives a shit. Just say the goddamn lines." Made me literally spit my drink out lol
It would need quite a lot of mind control to make people buy this movie.
😂
I refuse to believe anyone paid to see this movie. This movie looks so shitty that the idea of even pirating it seems impossible to believe. Steven Seagal is either a troll or these movies are some kind of financial scam, like every Uwe Boll movie.
That should have been the title of this movie.
I wonder if he's losing money making these movies 🤔
@@ShinkuGouki , look at the budget vs how much the movie made. 😅
This channel has consumed my weekend and I have no regrets about it. Please don’t stop these amazing breakdowns.
Dude he’s gonna hit 1 mill this time next year I love it lol
@rags6196
This consumed my Entire Day. This is the Best Comedy i ve seen in Year. Even tough its not Comedy.
This happens to me constantly.
@@keithlunde9625 “Did I mention Van Dame is dressed like a homeless pimp?! F**K YEAH!”
Same here , I laugh my socks off.
Darn that tunnel scene just got me laughing. Seriously, five guys just standing with no cover never got hit once?
Heck even with covers, that tank would seriously obliterated them in no time
They all graduated from the Stormtroopers Academy for sure.
"We're submerged."
That's some Oscar worthy script and the delivery was brilliant
I bought Suicide Squad from Wish and they sent me a copy of this movie.
For real? My condolences! LMFAO!
Your profile picture was probaly your face hahaha. Worth the buck though
Like that kids movie with those horrible cartoon level special effects was any better
@@johannespitkamaki1369 Ouch! That is an insult! LOL!
Weird, I bought Hunt for Red October on Ali Baba and they sent me this
Imagine that sniper having to explain to his boss that he failed his mission because of a newspaper
Haha!
I recognized that the guy who played the sniper also played Liebgott in Band Of Brothers
@@michaeldover yeah, I guess things didn't turn out so well for him in the film industry
WHERE COULD HE BE!?!?!?!?
He probably didn’t want to hit Garfield.
just because of your channel, my mom asked if i wanted to watch a movie last night and i told her to put on this one. she didn’t think it was as funny as i did. halfway through she looks at me and says “what is this? why are we watching this?” and i was laughing too hard to explain
why are you watching movies with your mom?
I used to watch Van Damme movies with my grandma, she liked his looks.
@@sleepete12 Not all of us can find true love at the strip club like Bruce Lee's better half
@@sleepete12 You mean you don't sit down and watch movies with your parents? It's the funnest thing to do, especially with Seagal films 😂
Were you mad at your mom for something??
Fanboy Flicks has a fascinating behind-the-scenes story about this movie. It was supposed to be about aliens on a submarine but just weeks before they were to start shooting, Seagal decided he wanted to do something completely different so the filmmakers had to scramble for their lives to come up with something new in a short time.
Love the consistency in all of your videos by always using "waddling" when describing how Segal gets from point A to B.
He trained special forces guys in this mode of locomotion
He's either waddling or sitting in a chair 🤣
And that he had ducked under a doorway for no reason, slowly, the other guards just walk normally upright. It's like Segal thinks he's doing a helicopter scene where they unnecessarily duck beneath the rotating blades that are obviously above human height. He's getting his action scenes mixed up, can't blame him, he's a russian citizen after all, they love him, and that's why they will lose their war
@@ShinkuGouki he legit tries to sit as much as possible during movies 😂😂
@@dbz9393 Seagull: Sees a chair*
Seagull: Sits*
🤣🤣🤣
Couldn't they just ditch Segal and have Vinnie Jones be the star? He always puts in an effort.
NO! Vinnie Jones also played so badly in "Company of Heroes" (2013) instead of Seagal, Tom Sizemore took all the credit.
Whenever I see Vinnie Jones in a Seagal movie I remember how great he was in Snatch and wonder where his life went so terribly wrong
I mean that's so true.
They could have hired Vinnie Jones, Michael Jai White or probably Scott Adkins for the money they probably spent on this
@@SpaceIce Lock Stock, Snatch, Gone in 60 Seconds, X-Men then it all goes wrong for his career.
Nope. Seagal is the star hater.
I hope Seagal keeps making movies because I cannot get enough of this channel
Looking on Wikipedia, it seems like he stopped about the time COVID hit.
The gentle jog away after throwing a grenade down the hatch of a tank. Top notch. And the fact that a hand grenade explodes a tank, the realism is impeccable.
Why are you doubting? Everything that happens in Seagal’s movies is 100% possible and the only outcome😂
the grenade part is actually realistic. T-series has a autoloader which means the crew is sitting on a pile of ammo. One spark in there results in turret throwing contests. Spectacularly demonstrated in the ukraine war on all models
Can we somehow convince Seagal to make a parody of Seagal movies. With all the shooting-without-looking, body doubles, his waddle and slow jog.
Easily in my top 10 of Seagal's mind control submarine government conspiracy in a foreign country movies of the last 20 years
What are the other 9?
lol
@@noided4230 all of them
It would take 10 trained men to make a better movie than this
And 100 cooks
The Cartmann reference at 4:19 was hilarious😂
I was in tears😂😂😂
I was laughing over hyah.
That was hilarious
I mean he's literally the human form of Eric cartman, an obese dumbass that thinks that everyone loves him and he's a total ladies man 🤣🤣
"Rught bout heere" 😭
How Mr Seagal managed to keep starring in so many atrocious movies for all those years without going broke or censored is truly mind boggling, maybe he knows a thing or two about mind control.
Money laundering.
And the woman being mind controlled at the end went on to pretend she was James Bond.
The “mind blowing magic trick” was hilarious
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Right! Where did he goooooooo?
This is some Metal Gear cardboard box level magic trick.
WHERE COULD HE BE?!?!?!?!?
LOL “Where could he be??”
That was 😆
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LMAO
Mind Blown. 🤯🤯
Man was literally behind a newspaper like Bugs Bunny or something
As a Marine veteran, I would be shocked at how badly Marines are portrayed (uniform all wrong, for instance), but then I remember it's a Seagull movie and that he did the same thing in Under Siege.
I assume no actual marine was willing to be seen in a Seagal movie, so they used D list actors, and did uniforms wrong to avoid any stolen valor.
Which is a thing in movies. The stuff is usually wrong enough to avoid issues, but right enough to be believable enough for a movie. But on occasions there are actual soldiers wearing their actual stuff. Like when General Michael E. Ryan or General John P. Jumper played themselves in Stargate.
dude... him ducking through those doorways had me laughing SO hard...
The guy shooting at nobody at 6:33 got me nearly spitting my drink out 😭😂 safe to say I lost it at this point 😭
Pure GOLD! 🤣 i almost fell off my chair
I went to the toilet, took a shit, and a Steven Seagal movie came out. You’re welcome
Come on, even Uwe Boll manages to make a good movie in every decade, or so.
What's the title? Toilet Force?
I once pissed a Segal film. Dont pay to watch it though..........
.....You can stream it...
@@therealistintheboot8822 it's called Submerged Number 2
A double flusher. Hopefully someday you can plop out Steven Seagal himself so he stops making movies inside your asshole
That ridiculous shot at 4:33 of an obviously toy / model plane being floated along in front of a backdrop like a grade school film project was so independently hilarious I can't believe it's not pointed out.
Has anybody seen the IMDb page for this movie? Under trivia it says that he got angry with William Hope partly because Hope was feeding stray cats. So some of the crew mixed a small amount of cat feces into into Stevens food.
Space Ice puts more effort into his reviews than Stoffers Seagal does into his entire cinematic catalog
staffers seagul, funny
99-100
The fact that more than half of Seagal’s crew also acted in Guy Ritchie’s ‘Snatch’ is actually a big positive.
One of the crew has a fish shop on my road and I see him from time to time Adam fogerty / gorgeous George in snatch
@@baxterbaggy1990 Ohhh you bastard. I fookin' 'ate Pikeys!!
And the guy they left on the ground from the helicopter was in Aliens
@@LibertyAtYourService Poor Gorman.
Or maybe a Huge Negative for them 🤣😅🤣🤣
The fact that you consistently describe seagull as waddling is my favourite part of all of these videos
These movies are the most fun when you see them not as movies, but actual documentaries of Steven Seagal's life.
I was honestly hoping he would slap fight the tank until it exploded.
LOL
Now that would be actually funny. Seagal just fisting a tank until it explodes. But Seagal doesn't do comedy.
The bleeping in this actually makes this riffing more funny. Probably because of the delivery.
He bleeps fuck and shit but leaves in cock sucking. I don't get that one.
It really does 😂😂
thats usually the case
I love how Seagal always kills everyone in his movies, even the people who actually help him, just because he doesn't like their faces (like the guy at 10:45). That would actually be hilarious and awesome... if it wasn't so painfully clear that it's just because nobody involved in "writing" this shit remembered that this guy wasn't a villain...
With how often it happens in Seagal's movies, at this point I just imagine that every character that Seagal plays is a batshit insane lunatic who, upon killing someone, gets extremely bloodthirsty, like Kraig from Borderlands 2, and because of that some innocent bystanders (and the poor fella here that actually fucking helped Seagal) may get in harm's way, as this psychopath just doesn't care.
Funny thing is, I used Kraig as a comparison, but he actually shows restraint and will never harm an innocent.
@@velocilevonAlex mercer would've been a better comparison as that guy's batshit insane (not as insane as Blackwatch lol but definetely unhinged enough to harm innocent people). For the rest I agree.
The lack of JCVDancing is what truly makes this a tragedy.
Everything else is terrible too, but missing JCVDancing is the nail in the submarine.
What kind of sick SOB makes a movie and doesn't have a JCVDancing scene???
Vinnie Jones could have done this alone without the team.
And he was the Sniper! lol
Jason Statham?
Had segal been more humble in life and respected his co-stars these movies might not be so horrendous
Then he wouldn't be 350 pounds of the cliches of the worst action movie tropes
3:47 they ran out of prison overalls and gave one dude a freaking home depot apron
The dude shooting into the corner lmao 🤣
6:35 Only sensei Seagal can think of a way to take out a hundred soldiers, and a tank, head on without even a scratch of a bullet on him👍He should have gotten an Oscar, for that scene alone!
Space Ice on Steven Seagal is the only reason I know I'm not the only person in the world with this particular twisted sense of humor.
Hilarious! Thank you and please keep em coming!
Seagal is the kind of guy that takes a fist to a gunfight and wins!
I served on a submarine. Don't recall control being covered in plastic pipes. Sure they would be wonderful holding thousand PSI steam, water, hydraulic fluid over high voltage electronics...... The riveted hull is also wonderful
@@davidjob4909 He's been a submariner for 70 years
Did you encounter many bead curtains during your service on submarines?
@@belcatar Many, bead curtains are water proof to 500 ft
Seagal single handly destroy every U-Boat on WorLd War II.
@@cesarsolis5449 And that's just what he does before breakfast.
I needed this channel like 5 yrs ago😂😂😂😂
Seeing these reviews in a row taught me several things.
Steven Seagal should visit ORL specialist. When the loudest sound you can make is a unintelligible whisper, it's time to see a doctor.
Steven Seagal should visit physical therapist. When you need a stuntman to stand-in for your... standing, it's time to see a doctor.
Steven Seagal should visit psychiatrist. When you completely forgot how does it look when people talk to each other, it's time to see a doctor.
Steven Seagal probably shouldn't visit a shooting range. When you fire a gun with your eyes closed or after aiming all over the place, it's time to stop. Forever.
Steven Seagal should probably get a VR headset and/or a realdoll. No more details needed. You've seen the scenes.
The most entertaining piece of cinema Steven Seagal ever participated in, was a short scene in a hilarious Belarusian documentary where he's being fed a carrot that was just pulled out of the ground by the hated dictator Alexander Lukashenko.
I don't know what Seagal's presence in movies is?
Maybe he's still looking for Richie
These are so great. Slowly watching the entire library. Each video is so good. You have me laughing all the time.
The background music to your videos make the videos so much better, it’s so dramatic lol.
Another fact filled critique. Bravo sir.
Thanks for the laughs. 😂😂
Yup.
The sniper aiming at Seagal's newspaper had his lens covers on both back and front thus he couldn't see shit. Some red dots let you acquire the target with the front cover on if you aim with both eyes open but in this case he was aiming blind.
How did nobody see the sniper with a rifle hanging out the window....and a .308 is gunna be loud...use a can.
Dude ain't no way it took me this long to find you 😅 I am binge watching. Better than netflix!
I have to admit. Found this channel 3days ago and watching it since. Happy to see the subscriptions raised from 15k to 20k just in 3 days. Job well done 🎉
"Then he sounds like Eric Cartman" 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Edit: This part is too funny I'm dying
""Never mind i guess he kill him""
I literally lmao on that one !!
The guy shooting at the wall, the newspaper magic trick had me in stitches. We need to give this guy his own Movie Review Show on T.V. It would be brilliant.
Thank you for this review. If you can find the time, strength and courage, could you please review Black Dawn 2005 Steven Seagal.
oh yeah
I'm starting to think Steven Seagal is a huge fan of Uwe Boll's movie making methods...
All " Great Minds " think alike!🤣
uwe boll is actually cool though. he boxed a bunch of movie critics and won. steven seagull thinks he's dangerous but absolutely isn't
@@cvspvr Uwe Boll ducked any critic who was his size and had boxing training during his boxing stunts.
That said, Uwe Boll is a better writer than Seagal, better actor than Seagal, and would beat Seagal in a boxing match with ease.
@@geoffreysorkin5774 ah, i didn't know that. that's kinda sad. do you think steven seagull actually thinks he's dangerous, or if he just wants to give off the impression that he is? like, he claimed that he couldn't be choked out, and when gene lebell offered to try choking him out, he accepted, so maybe he really does think he's dangerous
@@geoffreysorkin5774 at least Uwu Balls sort of redeemed himself by giving us that masterpiece which is the Postal movie.
“At this point Seagal sees he made a mistake earlier and can apologize and let him know, that he’s truly very…. nevermind”
I laughed so hard I woke up half the building
Seriously, these videos must never end. We need a new Steven Seagal.
I would love to see Steven Seagal do a self portrait.
I can't believe he has a walking double now!
LOL! All that action leading to…”we’re submerged “.
5:49 I like how Seagal holds the shotgun like it's a rocket launcher 🤣🤣🤣
Dude... You gonna blow up! Your comedy is great... And love the voice! Love your work! Thanks!
4:34 is seriously low budget 😄
I have watched several of the Space Ice videos and the 6:25 mark is one of the funniest parts of all the videos. I just stopped the video to laugh, wiped the tears from my eyes and watched the 6 minute part of the video over and over! 😂
The most realistic thing in the movie is when the ambassador says I’m late for the Opera. Obviously Seagal know less about Embassies then he knows about making movies.
Seagal is a blessing is disguise because his movies provide comedic relief.
There was literally no reason at all to pose as the Ambassador and go to the opera.🤣
There should be a Steven Seagal driving face compilation 😂😂😂
6:24 I almost think that dude made that decision on purpose. Just to solidify the fact of how little of a shit Seagal gives about the movies he makes.
A great Seagal review!
This movie sank faster than the Titanic! Fun fact: Jean-Claude Seagal is a character from "Feast 3 the happy finish" (2009) That soldier out 'Band of Brothers" /Joseph Liebgott played by Ross McCall is in "Submerged", ! This almost certainly ruined his career and his life!
How many people must suffer before this man is stopped??
If john F Kennedy did the newspaper trick he be alive to day
Funny AF narration! All your vids are sharp and funny, and really bring out the essence of this guy’s moviemaking genius.
omg this was a real movie??
I still can't tell
Thank God for this channel. RUclips, you've done it again
I think Steven Segal knows how crazy his movies are. He low key trolling shxt outta us.
Segal is unintentionally a comedic genius especially with brilliant commentary explaining everything I've watched stand up comics whole routines and not laughed half as hard as I do watching you review one of his movies 👍
It’s so crazy Steven segal thinks everyone else in the world is so stupid. 😂
The mind controlled girl at the end then goes on to work with James Bond….True story…check out actress’s movie credits lol At least she moved up the ladder
I knew i recognized her face 😁. Thats great for her. She really leveled up
Good for her
That eric cartman right about hyun absolutely destroyed me😆😆😆🤣🤣
8:40 - I laughed for good 20 minutes at the absurdity of the scene and the hilarity of the commentary 😂
He truly is Neil Breen's mind twin.
I commented the same in another place. Uncanny similarity.
I love it, it’s like Breen with a gun budget
@@Fattybehaviorrrrr Right?? LoL
Breen is far beyond our mere human capability
@@Fattybehaviorrrrr Breen has a laptop budget.
"...then they blow up a dam...and steal a submarine!...." LOL! I hope Segal comes out with a new movie just so you can review it! LOL!
YOU KNOW SOMETHING? STEVEN SEAGAL IS A MISTER ROGER TYPE IN MISTERS ROGERS NIEGHBORHOOD. COOL REALLY. STEVEN SEAGAL REALLY DOES REMIND ME MISTER ROGERS. RIGHT???😆.👍
STEVEN IS SEAGAL IS THE ONE BIG MISTER ROGERS. LIKE MISTER ROGERS NIEGHBORHOOD. HE REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE MISTER ROGERS😆.👌 COOL!!!
WHY?! WHY do I love these videos so much? I've been binge-watching the channel for the last 2 days straight! Can't get enough of it! SUBBED!
2:20 "...ducking needlessly through doorways..."
Good psychological ploy of filmmaking:
Door is 8 feet high.
Seagal:"I got to show I'm very tall."
Director :"That's why you must duck."
“And then sounds like Eric Cartman” Wow…….he really freakin did. That was so unexpectedly hilarious at 4:27
There’s a strip club in every Segal movie. I just got that.👀
I can't stop waiting these videos thanks . I love it
“And then sounds like Eric Cartman.”😂
Very true 😂🤣😅
It's so funny that I can feel the mix of frustration and movie trailer style in your narration, it's like you're forced to watch this sh1t and then have to promote it to us. You're the film reviewer we never knew we needed. Thank you for your service, sir