"Segal's complete disregard for human life has led to 8 vehicular homicides. But Segal knows...he can get to 10." This line and the delivery transcends the writing of mere mortals. It is absolute comedic gold.
Yeah, I laughed, but I seriously almost passed out with the 5 second delay it took the bullet to get there from Alpha Centauri when the woman was shooting from outer space (the black screen.) He has at least one of those comments every video and is why I will always look forward to them. :)
Also: Strip club scene Young girl throws herself at him Characters sit around talking about how badass he is Stunt double for shots of his character walking and sitting Shooting without looking Unintentionally hilarious dialogue - "It's like a monkey trying to fuck a football" etc. Slap fighting Knife fighting Car explodes for no reason
Seagal being a medical doctor in charge of saving people's lives is somehow even more insulting than him being a Harvard professor in that one movie we all forgot the title and the plot of but only remember because of how stupid Seagal being a Harvard professor was.
He's one of the most delusional people out there. It's like Neil Breen actually became famous enough to constantly have his own conceit reinforced by the people around him.
The quote that comes up after it is even funnier: "He crashes *HEAD FIRST* into this NAPALM TRUCK... But don't worry, Seagal's fine, that was just his body double. He goes through like three a week! And that's what she realised, it wasn't just the body double going down in flames, but also her career. But, whatever."
Fun Fact: The "Get that bag ready" scene in the beginning was actually Steven referencing a bag of doritos off set. With Seagal unwilling to reshoot, they did what they could.
Listening to Space Ice narrate the Steven Seagal Saga gets progressively funnier as he sounds even angrier with every movie he recaps. Thank you, Space Ice. I hope Sensei Seagal never stops making bullshit films so you can keep making hilarious videos on them.
There's nothing quite like coming home after a hard days work, hanging up your coat, pouring yourself a scotch, burying yourself in the couch and not watching a Seagal movie.
"The very advanced technique of holding the oxygen mask upsidedown" and "It wasn't just the body double going down in flames but also her career" blew me away 😂😂😂
11:43 : While she covers him from outer space or some sh*t, 11:54 " Or if that's just how long it took for the light and sound to travel from Alpha Centauri " I'm dying of laughter x)
The camera cuts back to her, then has her on screen for a few seconds before shooting despite absolutely no background. I'll bet Seagal thought that was a move of artistic brilliance.
9:17 "Seagal breaks into Colin Robinson's home and flips through random books but they don't have any pop-ups so they're complete bullshit." And from out of nowhere, that one hit me hard. Love this shit.
I too had to comment about the sound and light from her gun coming, "...from Alpha Centauri...." - and yeah - I literally laughed out loud at that one too!
I think there should be a movie about Seagal's body double, showing all the hardships and tribulations he went through to become an actor only to find himself stuck beneath a slobbering fat overseer that doesn't fully utilize his talents. Could be a action horror movie.
Great idea! Perhaps the role of Steven Seagal could be played by the actor himself along with another body double for the stairs, together with another real body double for the guy playing the first double.
Steven Seagal is an amazing actor and an even better human being, not to mention his supreme martial arts skills and athleticism. Never stop making fun of him. And his hair is totally really real and amazingly thick.
He deserves more than a reward, he doesn't just watch the movie, editing takes time, he has to rewatch scenes many, many times to put them together, and write the dialog ( which is better than the movie itself) Then he has to to trigonometry to fix the damaged brain cells and watch Pulp fiction or John Wick to get his taste in good action movies back to normal. Thank you for your sacrifice Sir Ice of Space 😅
Producer: You can't have a strip club scene in this movie Seagull: Then I'm out Producer: What about a room full of topless mannequins? Seagull: I'm listening...
I've thought about this too!!! Eventually all of Segals movies will be covered 😭😭😭I literally want this man to keep "acting"😬 just so Space Ice will have content. This channel cheers me up as well❣PS. Hang in there Robert, I hope things start feeling better for you soon❣
@@unstablegenius2325 EVERY VIDEO HAS THIS COMMENT!!! Not just "roasting trash" (like Velma) but giving genuine joy to many... even possibly Steven Segal himself!
Trying to get a part in a movie after you’ve starred in a Seagal movie would be just as hard as trying to get a job in a bank after you’ve done time in prison for an armed bank robbery.
@@OncelerKidsAreCringe uhh what?? These movies are literally not known to everyone, wtf are you talking about?? Also, what a terrible defense as to why seagals movies are garbage
This movie isn't listed on Seagal's IMDB movie list and this little gem explains why "The film is infamous for Steven Seagal not being involved in any of the fight scenes due to his leaving the film 18 days into a 30-day shoot. The director shot fights with stunt doubles and scenes that were to involve Seagal were replaced by his co-star in the film."
This film is infamous for Steven Seagal not being involved in any of the fight scenes due to him leaving the film 18 days into a 30-day shoot. The director shot fights with stunt doubles and scenes that were to involve Seagal were replaced by his co-star in the film
@@snowbear163 idk maybe drugs and women but here is an interview with the director: Black Dawn Probably the best and most interesting story. Director Alexander Gruszynski anwered a lot of questions about his experiences during the shooting of Black Dawn. And he didn't hold back! Q: can you tell what you thought of black dawn and how much freedom you were given for the film? Alexander: Thanks for posting here. I was less than happy with the final film, in fact I will go as far as to say I hated it. There were numerous problems associated with it not least Steven's behaviour on set, the absymal help from the studio and Andrew Steven's own personal interference. I was offered the chance to direct Steven in a new movie in Vancouver in Spring but I turned them down. Q: the film in the spring is an insight films prodcution and they are a better company with better budgets. what did seagal do wrong? I noticed that he was not involved in any of the fight scenes why? By the way maximum risk was a great film Alexander: Hello I am aware the film is with Insight; however the problem is working with Seagal. He bullied and coerced several members of the cast and crew on my film set,held up production continually and treated a particular co-star in a very disrespectful way. He was not involved in any of the fight scenes because he didn't want to, simple as that. He was often morose and moody and if he didn't want to do it he wouldn't. He would say 'all i have to do is just punch this guy,end of scene'. he was just lazy. Eventually he called Andrew and Andrew called me back and said ' If he is feeling tired then leave it don't force him'. Eventually I had to shoot a scene with his stunt double on the last day of shooting just so that it looked as if he was doing 'some' fighting. If you've seen the final movie, you'll know that it's obvious it's not Steven. (The fight on the staircase when Steven is going upstairs in the hotel to bust in on the crooks and Tamara Davies). Eventually we had to use a lot of blue screen, my idea was to spend $15,000 on hiring a professional lot in LA that I had used to many of my other movies, but this money instead went to the post-wrap party at the Hilton in LA. This was not the way to make a movie and that's why I won't work with those people ever again. Q: By the way who hired you for the film was it seagal or the producers? Alexander: On the strength of an action picture I did in the early 90's called Stone Cold, one of the producers (Kamal Aboukhater) asked that I be involved in directing the movie. The script was written in 24 hours-yes remarkable isn't it? The way Andrew Stevens Entertainment works is that they pay Seagal in this case an outright fee to just confirm he will be in the movie, then a group of writers usually scrape together a film on the spot to meet the deadline. Usually this script gets continually changed throughout the movie prolonging production. In the case of Black Dawn, Seagal insisted that he play the character Jonathan Cold. This was not supposed to be a sequel to The Foreigner(which I had not seen). I was instructed to then go back and watch The Foreigner go ensure I made Black Dawn as similar to it as possible. Of course this did not happen. I'll give you an example of how strange Steven Seagal can be. On the dvd release, there is an interview of him taken in Thailand just before the film shot in LA. For this interview he specified that he sit on a throne that had been used by the previous King of Thailand for 25 years. The interview had to take place in the Imperial Gardens of the US embassy in Bangkok. Seagal would not take photo shoots for the Black Dawn cover and publicity stills unless this interview was included on the dvd when released. Andrew Stevens then specified that there be a ludicrous picture of two people doing flying kicks on the front cover when none of this happened in the movie. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask. I am happy Steven is doing better movies(I have not seen them) all I can say is that it takes the patience of Job to get a good performance and time out of him. Q: how much say did you have on the casting of the film? Alexander: I had a lot initially but there were always last minute replacements, I insisted on Tamara Davies who I still think is one of the best things about the movie. She provided a strong counterpart to Steven. Interestingly I was adamant that she should get some martial arts training so I sent her to a kickboxer friend for a week or two, she came back and looking a real pro. She filmed two fight scenes were she kicked some major butt(in the hotel and in the warehouse with the dolls and model figures) but these scenes were cut because they emphasised the fact that Seagal wasn't doing his own fightings and looked weak. The other actors were studio choices and all did their jobs pretty professionally. Q: Why was cgi used so much? Alexander: Mostly because the money was taken away from us for lavish parties and to pay for Seagal's entourage. Steven walked around with 7 bodyguards at all times during the shoot. You couldn't get to talk to him without getting past those guys. One day they went to a chinese restaurant mid way through shooting and racked up a $25,000 bill which went on Andrew Stevens Entertainment credit card. The net result? We lost two days worth of shooting on the dumpster truck chase scene and had to use some dodgy blue screen. At the end of the movie we were over budget and Seagal had moved on to another movie, so I had to use a computer friend at the last minute to put together a bad impersonation of the ocean when the nuclear device is dropped. Q: The film had a tv look about it yet your films that you are a cinematographer for look theatrical..why did the film look cheap? Alexander: Because the studio would not pay the extra to shoot on quality film Q: Will you ever direct again or will you stick to cinematography? Alexander: Cinematography. My proudest moments are making a film that is good look even better. if i direct again I don't want to do it on this scale. Referring to Van Damme; he has a million and one ideas on set but is interested too much in partying, although he may be a different person now.
@@snowbear163 There is an interview from 2015 or so where he was asked which Hollywood martial artist he would like to have as a backup in a fight. Of course Steven was laughing and then he said they were all not real martial artists in his eyes: Not Van Damme, not Michael Jay White, nobody ... And Chuck Norris would be too old for this - says the man who is only 12 years younger and visibly out of shape!
I can't believe nobody involved in the production saw that and said "Of all the stupid things in this movie, this is the stupidest. We shouldn't include it in the final cut"
Its hilarious how every time there is stairs, long walk or standing still moment Seagal gets young and thin, he is so undercover that the camera shows what he want us to see. Thanks for the laughs man 😂
That's because of his mastery of mystical East Asian martial arts, he refocuses his chi energy out of his body and into the atmosphere, becoming one with the stairs, decreasing his physical form to flow with the cosmic energy or some shit.
Its inspiring how Seagal with literally zero talent in acting, story writing and direction doesn't let it stop him from doing acting, story writing and direction. Legendary stuff.
It's a shame this movie never won an academy award. The acting is masterful, the story is riveting and insightful, and who could forget the articulate delivery of the elite actor, Steven Seagal?
Truly the greatest Orator of our time. Tales of his heroic deeds will be passed down thru the ages. This man has literally turned into a myth or even legend, if u will. The sacrifices hes made to bring us such masterpieces as Black Dawn and A Good Man should never be taken for granted or minimized. Without Sir Steven's consummate professionalism in the face of such adversity, Space Ice would be out of a job and we'd of lost some of the greatest content in modern times.
I'm so happy I've found this channel , I had a foot surgery and it's hurts , but watching all this "Seagal's movies " thru this channel , makes me laugh and feel better , thanks a lot !
I met Steven Seagall when I was 8 during my birthday party at Pizza Hut (1998). He walked in with a karate uniform and started eating at the buffet almost immediately without paying. The cashier told him he had to pay for the pizza but he kept mumbling and pretending to karate chop the other pizza slices as if he cut the pizza with his hands. After he ate the last slice of pizza he walked towards the soda dispensers and shoved like 10 of those red Pizza Hut drink glasses still stacked together into his karate gi like a sword and walked out without paying. We had to get refunded for the pizzas because he ate the pizzas my mom and dad ordered for us, ended up going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Even funnier, a few months after this Simms became the only QB in NFL history to lose a playoff game to an opponent that failed to gain 100 yards. This actually wouldn't have been a disappointment in comparison
There is no greater luxury in this world than a Seagal film. Furthermore a Space Ice review of these fine films. Truly some of the finest comedic and genius pieces of work put on screen by man. We are lucky to observe such greatness
It's such a beautiful irony that you can take something that soils the eyes, and taints the mind, and make it something so enjoyable, and bring smiles and laughter from it. You're like a modern day saint Mr Ice. You've helped me face one of my greatest fears (that being Seagal's movies), and showed me that I need not fear the absurd plots, the incoherency, nor even the "blind man" shooting. You are a beacon of light, in a dark world filled with Seagal movies. I'll be sure to hit up the patreon as soon as I've got the spares.
That's too late - he made his last two movies in 2019, and now he has income from other sources ... he's a good friend of a certain Russian president and he even became an envoy for the Russian-US-relationships (no joke!!!).
I got some deep laughs out of this one. Seagal being happy at seeing the helicopter in the book, and the bit about his partner and light from alpha centari. lol.
He has a few good movies in his early years but I guess it's easier to have money on bad movies. Personally I enjoyed Half Past Dead even though I know it's a trash movie.
Honestly his movies are so bad they are good. They are an absolute shit show from start to finish that makes about as much sense as an episode of aqua teen hunger force but man is it a hilarious ride.
The disdain he portrays for this man is admirable. It’s fresh, and never stale. I look forward to each of these with the same alacrity I possessed with the first one. Absolutely side splitting edge of your seat entertainment. Thanks. 🙏🏾😂
Man, ever since I discovered your channel I can't stop laughing. I don't remember I ever laughed so much in my life. You are doing an amazing work. I hope everyone will start appreciating it! Thank you so much!
Keep up the excellent work, Space Ice!!! You're a saint for watching all these aweful Seagal movies, so we don't have to, and then making them enjoyable with your reviews. Don't ever stop doing your thing...
Massive props to this narrator for not only for sacrificing himself for the rest of humanity in telling us of the eeeeeevil of this monumental piece of celluloid waste, but also from sparing humanity from annihilating itself should they view this wastage. Give this man his due! His sacrifice shall never be forgotten!
To be fair this movie is worth a watch. It's such a mess that I truly don't know how to describe what happens because they filmed it, lost the script, and since no one remembered what the story initially was in this turd, they litterally put it back together in a way that makes no logical sense! It's brutal but I highly recommend it! And if you can piece the original story together let me know...😂
Stumbled across this channel yesterday and have been binge watching these videos since. Thanks for the non stop laughs, while I lay in bed, recovering from covid. Haven't laughed this hard in a while! Great job!!
YES YES, it's always a good day when Space Ice reviews another Steven Seagal movie. This made my morning... and day ... and evening... oh heck , the entire weekend looks brighter now.
Space Ice HAS to be in the medical field. His jokes about the medical procedures in this video and past videos are too on point for him not to be. Willing to bet EMT/Paramedic. Fantastic stuff! Keep it up, Ice!
You never cease to amaze us with your brutally honest commentary. Nothing eludes you eyes, except maybe that the first scene was filmed in the Netherlands (probably because it was cheap)
I have recently jumped into the Seagal rabbit hole and it is amazing. From this guys ties with the mob, his friend ship with putin, and even buying a holy title, his life is near endless entertainment. The exact opposite of his movies. In fact a movie about his life would be really interesting, as long as Seagal had no say in it and never appeared in it. Should be easy enough, they can just send his body double.
@KingC89 normal baby with a badly done deep fake of Sasso's Seagal even speaking when born and slaps the doctor and says "Ninjas!" And baby Seagal defeats 4 ninja assassins with the umbilical cord
"Then just to be a dick, he decides to sideswipe 10 cars on the side that she's on and plays it off like it was nothing" hahaha Thank you Space Ice this review was one of my faves yet
I met Seagal at a restaurant in LA in 1999, I asked him for an autograph and he actually gave me one after charging me ten dollars, but then he slapped a hostess after she asked him if he knew magic. He was carrying a deck of cards and lecturing an elderly couple on Houdini. I didn't think the hostess being curious about his conjuring skills was that out of line that it required a slap. That's just me tho.
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
Your older seagal videos are private.
fuck! I've never done Patreon, but for you I might
Man . How many of these money laundering movies did he make ?
This is one of your best ! Keep it coming. You have one helluva sense of humor.
This guy should review Kung Fury, Velocipastor and RRR
"Segal's complete disregard for human life has led to 8 vehicular homicides. But Segal knows...he can get to 10." This line and the delivery transcends the writing of mere mortals. It is absolute comedic gold.
Steven Seagal: No regard for human life three years before LeBron
I lost it at that part as well
Yeah, I laughed, but I seriously almost passed out with the 5 second delay it took the bullet to get there from Alpha Centauri when the woman was shooting from outer space (the black screen.) He has at least one of those comments every video and is why I will always look forward to them. :)
I almost spat out my coffee in that part 🤣
@@davemiller401 That was the best. It was all the best, but that especially was the best.
The only channel that makes you say, "YES! A STEVEN SEAGALL MOVIE!"
🎯🤣
I came to this channel to hear him say Seagal's name--I just love the way he says it--so this checks out.
Haha so true!!!
Exactly.
😂😂😂✅
"for reasons never fully explained" and "it's never mentioned again" are two classic traits of a Seagal movie.
Also:
Strip club scene
Young girl throws herself at him
Characters sit around talking about how badass he is
Stunt double for shots of his character walking and sitting
Shooting without looking
Unintentionally hilarious dialogue - "It's like a monkey trying to fuck a football" etc.
Slap fighting
Knife fighting
Car explodes for no reason
Yep… it’s a drinking game now.
Don’t forget “BODY DOUBLE”
Alcohol poisoning isn't a game, they'd need to have their stomach pumped @@1pierrr
@@Illustraful
I would watch a Steven Seagal movie in theaters if this guy narrated the entire movie. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!
Morgan Freeman is an amateur.
I'm usually in tears from laughter
Right
I had to pause halfway through because I was laughing too hard and it hurt
The problem is, he doesnt make movies for the theaters anymore. Its all straight to dvd crap lol
We should thank this man for his service. Not only does he put himself through pain watching these movies, he also brings us beautiful content.
Cheers
He's like a man who eats a couple pin cushions, then later shits you out a pair of bloody, yet beautiful, ruby red diamond earrings, its magic.
damn straight,i love his stuff! puts a smile on my face everytime
Not all heroes wear capes
I like to imagine that's just how he talks
Seagal being a medical doctor in charge of saving people's lives is somehow even more insulting than him being a Harvard professor in that one movie we all forgot the title and the plot of but only remember because of how stupid Seagal being a Harvard professor was.
It was up there with Tara Reid playing a scientist
I guess it's "Out for a kill".
He's one of the most delusional people out there. It's like Neil Breen actually became famous enough to constantly have his own conceit reinforced by the people around him.
@@davidjsaul I thought that was the poor man’s Tara Reid played by Tara Reid
BUT WHY DID HE DO BOBBY LUPO? NOBODY REMEMBERS SEEING RITT-CHEEE????
Space ice puts more effort in his videos than seagal does in his movies
I put more effort ordering my groceries online than seagal does in his movies
A bot puts more effort into comments than Seagal does in his movies.
My Alzheimer Grandfather put more efforts remembering his families than Seagal does in his movies.
Real talk
Lol Damn
"unable to use the brakes and unwilling to let off the gas" had me dying
The quote that comes up after it is even funnier:
"He crashes *HEAD FIRST* into this NAPALM TRUCK... But don't worry, Seagal's fine, that was just his body double. He goes through like three a week! And that's what she realised, it wasn't just the body double going down in flames, but also her career. But, whatever."
Do you even know how much energy that would take for Steven to lift his foot off the pedal?
It's also impossible to lose you brakes on an truck with air brakes.
And that stunt double took one hell of a fall!!!
What a commentary on his career! 😅
Fun Fact: The "Get that bag ready" scene in the beginning was actually Steven referencing a bag of doritos off set. With Seagal unwilling to reshoot, they did what they could.
You could actually be making this up and it would still be more believable than any of Seagal’s movies.
@@marsayde1237 a flying unicorn would still be more believable than seagull movies.
There's no 'fun-fact' in a Segal movie. You crack a joke on set and you get the 'personal treatment' from Segal, without any medical assistance.
@@tomasviane3844 Does he try to eat you?
@@Mitch_Conner75926 Nah he just spoons you.
"The terrorists show up to get their plutonium but get lead instead." Is a better line than anything in a Seagal film 😂
@devanov3103 No. Because Plutonium 238 decays into Lead only if the temperature is 98.6 Degrees Fahrenheit. No higher, no lower.
That’s a periodic element joke, deep science stuff there. Almost dark matter lol
Space Ice deserves a humanitarian award and an Oscar for his work of making Steven Seagal movies watchable.
Steven Zeagal is real, I will love and believe in him for the rest of my life.
Forget the Oscar. Just pay the man for having guts to watch this dreck in the first place.
"none of it matters and it's NEVER mentioned again" makes me laugh every time in these reviews
Over and over and over.
“It’s never mentioned again” kills me every time.Seagal has to write these scripts in like 2 days.
On napkin in the strip club.
“Anyways…”
Yep.😂
Pretty sure the whole thing is filmed in 2 days. No other way to make these things up
“She goes Steven She-gal on them.”
That blind-sided the shit out of me. I’m dead. 😂🤣
She learned from Seagal by loading her gun with bad-guy seeking bullets 😂
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Listening to Space Ice narrate the Steven Seagal Saga gets progressively funnier as he sounds even angrier with every movie he recaps.
Thank you, Space Ice. I hope Sensei Seagal never stops making bullshit films so you can keep making hilarious videos on them.
Its true that hes getting harsher and harsher each video. If you watch his year old videos, they're nicer. Who knows how far he'll go.
@@ShawnGerbert you can feel his anger in his Urban Justice review, which is (imo) the best one he's ever done thus far
@@ShawnGerbert He sounded calmer in his Kill Switch review, to name an example.
"....gets progressively funnier as he sounds even angrier with every movie..." I totally noticed that before I went to work today!!
No, his voice has become more Hollywood but his style is crazy all the time.
"Unable to use the brakes, and unwilling to let off the gas.." 😂
"She goes full Steven She-geal on them"
Caught me off guard.
I effin lost it! 😂😂😂…
There's nothing quite like coming home after a hard days work, hanging up your coat, pouring yourself a scotch, burying yourself in the couch and not watching a Seagal movie.
Best quote ever!!! lmfao!!
Gosh, I actually want to watch some of these movies now just for a laugh at all the body doubles
Im stealing this
@@R.L.M.3743 I think they are the typical cases of watching someone else watch it being more entertaining
And instead watching a Space Ice video on it
"None of it matters, and it's never mentioned again" seems to be a staple plot device in Seagal films
If he put this on a shirt with South Park version of Seagal, I'd buy it.
When you take a "ninja sword" chop approach to story streamlining...
i always hears it in every videos of steven seagal
"The very advanced technique of holding the oxygen mask upsidedown" and "It wasn't just the body double going down in flames but also her career" blew me away 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😅😅
11:43 : While she covers him from outer space or some sh*t,
11:54 " Or if that's just how long it took for the light and sound to travel from Alpha Centauri "
I'm dying of laughter x)
I’m dead 😵
I crapped my pants when that scene came up
Haha 😂same
The camera cuts back to her, then has her on screen for a few seconds before shooting despite absolutely no background. I'll bet Seagal thought that was a move of artistic brilliance.
Yeah this is genius 😂
9:17 "Seagal breaks into Colin Robinson's home and flips through random books but they don't have any pop-ups so they're complete bullshit." And from out of nowhere, that one hit me hard.
Love this shit.
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The only shit u going to love freshly Made by seagull
"the books didnt have pop ups" "while she shoots from Alpha Centauri or somethin" man, i laughted out loud
I particularly liked "the four time hide and seek champion of the universe" and "blindside her from the bathroom that they teleported into"
@@thedarklrd6714 Absolutely!!
I too had to comment about the sound and light from her gun coming, "...from Alpha Centauri...." - and yeah - I literally laughed out loud at that one too!
"Seagal digs deep into his medical knowledge and knows he can stop the convulsion by blowing up his fucking heart" Laughed my ass off.
He does have a way with words...😂
It worked didnt it?
Underrated line, by far my fav part of the whole video 😂
I think there should be a movie about Seagal's body double, showing all the hardships and tribulations he went through to become an actor only to find himself stuck beneath a slobbering fat overseer that doesn't fully utilize his talents. Could be a action horror movie.
Great idea! Perhaps the role of Steven Seagal could be played by the actor himself along with another body double for the stairs, together with another real body double for the guy playing the first double.
Hard To Kill While Marked For Death
Either a comedy or horror 😮
Steven Seagal is an amazing actor and an even better human being, not to mention his supreme martial arts skills and athleticism. Never stop making fun of him.
And his hair is totally really real and amazingly thick.
This.
You forgot that he taught MacGyver everything he knows, can spontaneously awaken coma patients, and shoots down helicopters with a 9 mm handgun.
“Amazing, every word of what you just said... was wrong.”
Your post contains nothing but 100% truth
Seagal can speak 4 different languages, but mumbling is his favorite.
He deserves more than a reward, he doesn't just watch the movie, editing takes time, he has to rewatch scenes many, many times to put them together, and write the dialog ( which is better than the movie itself) Then he has to to trigonometry to fix the damaged brain cells and watch Pulp fiction or John Wick to get his taste in good action movies back to normal. Thank you for your sacrifice Sir Ice of Space 😅
Producer: You can't have a strip club scene in this movie
Seagull: Then I'm out
Producer: What about a room full of topless mannequins?
Seagull: I'm listening...
lol underrated comment
😂
LOLOOLLL
😆
Yea how many mannequins have nipples.... lol this was hilarious
Seagal ad-libbing as a doctor while he's ad-libbing as an actor is such genius my mind is still blown trying to encapsulate the multilevel concept.
Careful... Trying the understand the mind of Seagal will most certainly cause psychosis and possibly even death.
He can warp reality and move through the multiverse at will..truly a master
He really is a genius!
We need more Seagal films. These videos always pull me out of my depression. I could listen to this man all day ❤️
If you’re depressed, get you’re hopes up. Can you imagine, being Steven’s stunt man. Holy lick. Anyone would need a therapy session.wtf😂😂😂
I've thought about this too!!! Eventually all of Segals movies will be covered 😭😭😭I literally want this man to keep "acting"😬 just so Space Ice will have content. This channel cheers me up as well❣PS. Hang in there Robert, I hope things start feeling better for you soon❣
There will be more. Look outside your window. See? He’s filming one right now.
@@unstablegenius2325
EVERY VIDEO HAS THIS COMMENT!!!
Not just "roasting trash" (like Velma) but giving genuine joy to many... even possibly Steven Segal himself!
@Ki Mac
JVCD, Nick Cage, Arnie, and Stallone have a ways to go yet..
Then there's Jet Li, Lundgren still...
Maybe even some 007 Space Ice style!!
Seagal as a doctor is truly horrifying
His staff saves one life, he takes out 20.
One time, he stuck his finger up my ass, and I flew into space! (Not really)
Only to every disease known to medical science.
Seagal 👉💪
Makes Doctor Giggles look like a rank amateur.
Sensei Seagal, the greatest martial artist of our time and a talented actor.
A living legend. Larger than life! 🫡💪👏
Trying to get a part in a movie after you’ve starred in a Seagal movie would be just as hard as trying to get a job in a bank after you’ve done time in prison for an armed bank robbery.
😍😍😍
my thoughts exactly, why would any actor wanna ruin their career by being in a seagal movie...smh
@@hardyharr9377 probably because these are the only movies that accept everyone.
@@OncelerKidsAreCringe uhh what?? These movies are literally not known to everyone, wtf are you talking about?? Also, what a terrible defense as to why seagals movies are garbage
@@hardyharr9377 I meant for casting. The only thing that must be in these movies is a slightly attractive woman for Steven to sleep with.
I was losing it the entire video but that scene where the old guy glanced to the side and she felt for that absolutely murdered me
“I learned all I know from him” 💀
Bro I replayed it like 5 times
He should have said "Is that the Goodyear Blimp?" to make the scene more realistic.
Ah, the old look to the side trick, eh
It's the oldest trick in the book.
Thank you space ice. Thank you for your undying mockery of steven Seagal. It always puts a smile on my face when you show unkindness to Seagal
Just found this channel a few days ago. This man is brilliant. I'm in tears every time I watch one.
"But Seagal knows he can get to 10"
I love you man 😂
This movie isn't listed on Seagal's IMDB movie list and this little gem explains why "The film is infamous for Steven Seagal not being involved in any of the fight scenes due to his leaving the film 18 days into a 30-day shoot. The director shot fights with stunt doubles and scenes that were to involve Seagal were replaced by his co-star in the film."
and it's so hard to tell too. they really did a great job covering it.
OMG! I didn’t even realize that there were no fight scenes!
SERIOUSLY?? That's insane!!! However, being Seagal, I should have known better!!! Oh Steven.
Ahah
and probably still got paid 😂
The only thing that could explain how he allowed a character other than himself to get the spotlight for so many scenes.
This film is infamous for Steven Seagal not being involved in any of the fight scenes due to him leaving the film 18 days into a 30-day shoot. The director shot fights with stunt doubles and scenes that were to involve Seagal were replaced by his co-star in the film
Did they say why he left the shoot?
@@snowbear163 idk maybe drugs and women but here is an interview with the director:
Black Dawn
Probably the best and most interesting story. Director Alexander Gruszynski anwered a lot of questions about his experiences during the shooting of Black Dawn. And he didn't hold back!
Q: can you tell what you thought of black dawn and how much freedom you were given for the film?
Alexander: Thanks for posting here. I was less than happy with the final film, in fact I will go as far as to say I hated it.
There were numerous problems associated with it not least Steven's behaviour on set, the absymal help from the studio and Andrew Steven's own personal interference.
I was offered the chance to direct Steven in a new movie in Vancouver in Spring but I turned them down.
Q: the film in the spring is an insight films prodcution and they are a better company with better budgets.
what did seagal do wrong?
I noticed that he was not involved in any of the fight scenes why?
By the way maximum risk was a great film
Alexander: Hello
I am aware the film is with Insight; however the problem is working with Seagal.
He bullied and coerced several members of the cast and crew on my film set,held up production continually and treated a particular co-star in a very disrespectful way.
He was not involved in any of the fight scenes because he didn't want to, simple as that. He was often morose and moody and if he didn't want to do it he wouldn't. He would say 'all i have to do is just punch this guy,end of scene'. he was just lazy.
Eventually he called Andrew and Andrew called me back and said ' If he is feeling tired then leave it don't force him'. Eventually I had to shoot a scene with his stunt double on the last day of shooting just so that it looked as if he was doing 'some' fighting. If you've seen the final movie, you'll know that it's obvious it's not Steven. (The fight on the staircase when Steven is going upstairs in the hotel to bust in on the crooks and Tamara Davies).
Eventually we had to use a lot of blue screen, my idea was to spend $15,000 on hiring a professional lot in LA that I had used to many of my other movies, but this money instead went to the post-wrap party at the Hilton in LA. This was not the way to make a movie and that's why I won't work with those people ever again.
Q: By the way who hired you for the film was it seagal or the producers?
Alexander: On the strength of an action picture I did in the early 90's called Stone Cold, one of the producers (Kamal Aboukhater) asked that I be involved in directing the movie. The script was written in 24 hours-yes remarkable isn't it?
The way Andrew Stevens Entertainment works is that they pay Seagal in this case an outright fee to just confirm he will be in the movie, then a group of writers usually scrape together a film on the spot to meet the deadline. Usually this script gets continually changed throughout the movie prolonging production. In the case of Black Dawn, Seagal insisted that he play the character Jonathan Cold. This was not supposed to be a sequel to The Foreigner(which I had not seen). I was instructed to then go back and watch The Foreigner go ensure I made Black Dawn as similar to it as possible. Of course this did not happen.
I'll give you an example of how strange Steven Seagal can be. On the dvd release, there is an interview of him taken in Thailand just before the film shot in LA. For this interview he specified that he sit on a throne that had been used by the previous King of Thailand for 25 years. The interview had to take place in the Imperial Gardens of the US embassy in Bangkok. Seagal would not take photo shoots for the Black Dawn cover and publicity stills unless this interview was included on the dvd when released. Andrew Stevens then specified that there be a ludicrous picture of two people doing flying kicks on the front cover when none of this happened in the movie.
If you have anymore questions feel free to ask. I am happy Steven is doing better movies(I have not seen them) all I can say is that it takes the patience of Job to get a good performance and time out of him.
Q: how much say did you have on the casting of the film?
Alexander: I had a lot initially but there were always last minute replacements, I insisted on Tamara Davies who I still think is one of the best things about the movie. She provided a strong counterpart to Steven. Interestingly I was adamant that she should get some martial arts training so I sent her to a kickboxer friend for a week or two, she came back and looking a real pro. She filmed two fight scenes were she kicked some major butt(in the hotel and in the warehouse with the dolls and model figures) but these scenes were cut because they emphasised the fact that Seagal wasn't doing his own fightings and looked weak.
The other actors were studio choices and all did their jobs pretty professionally.
Q: Why was cgi used so much?
Alexander: Mostly because the money was taken away from us for lavish parties and to pay for Seagal's entourage. Steven walked around with 7 bodyguards at all times during the shoot. You couldn't get to talk to him without getting past those guys. One day they went to a chinese restaurant mid way through shooting and racked up a $25,000 bill which went on Andrew Stevens Entertainment credit card. The net result? We lost two days worth of shooting on the dumpster truck chase scene and had to use some dodgy blue screen. At the end of the movie we were over budget and Seagal had moved on to another movie, so I had to use a computer friend at the last minute to put together a bad impersonation of the ocean when the nuclear device is dropped.
Q: The film had a tv look about it yet your films that you are a cinematographer for look theatrical..why did the film look cheap?
Alexander: Because the studio would not pay the extra to shoot on quality film
Q: Will you ever direct again or will you stick to cinematography?
Alexander: Cinematography. My proudest moments are making a film that is good look even better. if i direct again I don't want to do it on this scale.
Referring to Van Damme; he has a million and one ideas on set but is interested too much in partying, although he may be a different person now.
@@holosbachstudios9122 oh man I'm laughing and crying at the same time. Does he comment a lot on Van Damme in his interviews?
@@snowbear163 not that i have seen
@@snowbear163 There is an interview from 2015 or so where he was asked which Hollywood martial artist he would like to have as a backup in a fight. Of course Steven was laughing and then he said they were all not real martial artists in his eyes: Not Van Damme, not Michael Jay White, nobody ... And Chuck Norris would be too old for this - says the man who is only 12 years younger and visibly out of shape!
“Seagals complete disregard for human life, has led to 8 vehicular homicides...”
😂😂😂
Seagal knows he can get to 10 😂
My favorite moment also.
It must be amazing having a career making fun of Steven Seagal.
Ya Steve has done really well for himself...
No undertaking is more noble and fraught with danger.
@@bozbozman1575 brilliant 😄
Steven Seagal’s managed it without even realising.
Now that’s job security
The ending where he walks away in those clothes had me dying. Very accurate.
It legit looked like a little kid walking away 🤣
I can't believe nobody involved in the production saw that and said "Of all the stupid things in this movie, this is the stupidest. We shouldn't include it in the final cut"
"The Seagal's New Clothes"
@@McLuddy77 To be fair there are a LOT of stupid things. How do you pick just one.
@@0lyge0paradox of choice.
"Now Seagal feels thirty years younger, one hundred pounds lighter and six inch shorter..."
Pure Gold ❤
And did all of this especially after taking the fucking elevator.. LOL!
Check out at 7:20 where Seagal's same younger, thinner, shorter self is hiding under the mannequins.
Seagal owes Space Ice royalties for making his movies actually entertaining.
You make a very good point.
Its hilarious how every time there is stairs, long walk or standing still moment Seagal gets young and thin, he is so undercover that the camera shows what he want us to see. Thanks for the laughs man 😂
That's because of his mastery of mystical East Asian martial arts, he refocuses his chi energy out of his body and into the atmosphere, becoming one with the stairs, decreasing his physical form to flow with the cosmic energy or some shit.
That shows you how good for you walking stairs is.
@@mikeshelogowski434 😂😂😂
In Karate, they teach you that weight is an illusion, so Seagal can thin himself at will which makes walking stairs much easier and more efficient.
@@TheStraightestWhitest but he is an aikido master or he just mastered that part of karate? 😂😂
Seagal should be thankful to you for making his movies watchable.
All you need is Absolute Proof Vodka to get through his movies!
Nothing like the smell of a new Space Ice Segal video in the morning.
🤣
Its inspiring how Seagal with literally zero talent in acting, story writing and direction doesn't let it stop him from doing acting, story writing and direction. Legendary stuff.
His movies r money laundering schemes
Inspiration…
Someone somewhere “money ain’t gonna launder itself!”
Haha!, cool!
Courage of his convictions, to say the least. 😂🤮
“Walks like a black man, breathes like a killer “😂
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
one of the greatest "Walks like a black man, breathes like a killer" lines in a movie named Today You Die of all time
😆😆😆😭😭😭😭😂😩😩😂😂😂🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤌🏿🤣🤣🤣
These honestly get me through some really depressing days. Thank you, you are a saint.
‘Don’t worry - it was just his body double, he goes through like 3 a week’ I died, what an amazing line
Go through as in employs or eats?
good number.
@@mgb4692 A little from Column A, a little from Column B....
Love how we all a understand "she leaves the most seagull way possible" @7:07
I know right?! It’s like a mini language made of inside jokes we learn from each movie.
This channel has me in tears. I hope Seagal keeps making movies just for the purpose of watching them here. Brilliantly done!
"It wasn't just his body double going down in flames, but also her career." - brutal words man, I love it!!!
The movie really killed her acting career tho 😂
It's a shame this movie never won an academy award. The acting is masterful, the story is riveting and insightful, and who could forget the articulate delivery of the elite actor, Steven Seagal?
Don't forget the Avatar 12 level CGI and special effects lol.
Literally chills from every line he delivers. He could talk in a different language and I'd still feel it in my core, it's like I'm actually there.
I agree. It is a travesty.
I would have loved Seagal’s speeches he would have given us had he won.
Truly the greatest Orator of our time. Tales of his heroic deeds will be passed down thru the ages. This man has literally turned into a myth or even legend, if u will. The sacrifices hes made to bring us such masterpieces as Black Dawn and A Good Man should never be taken for granted or minimized. Without Sir Steven's consummate professionalism in the face of such adversity, Space Ice would be out of a job and we'd of lost some of the greatest content in modern times.
I'm so happy I've found this channel , I had a foot surgery and it's hurts , but watching all this "Seagal's movies " thru this channel , makes me laugh and feel better , thanks a lot !
What I find really impressive is that Seagal somehow always manages to top himself, making his latest movie even worse than the previous.
Yes remarkable 😂😂😂.
That’s very much intentional. He’s well rivaled the twilight saga
The part "and quickly shaves his sideburns" got me good. Masterful :)
Your channel has become my absolute favorite! Please never stop never stopping!
6:51 "Then Pat Sajak comes in!!!" One of the funniest things I have ever heard and seen ever!! Fantastic work Space!!!
My, how Seagal's standards have raised!
" she left the most Segal way possible"
I thought for a minute that she was going to the strip club
Lmao or she becomes Steven She-gal
Well they deleted that scene, and it's never mentioned again.😆😆😆😆😆😊
🤣
I thought she was about to fly through a window
@@DaOne1234 or ( very realistically) spin kicked someone on the way out?
Im just sad there isn't enough Segal movies.. this is pure gold
I met Steven Seagall when I was 8 during my birthday party at Pizza Hut (1998). He walked in with a karate uniform and started eating at the buffet almost immediately without paying. The cashier told him he had to pay for the pizza but he kept mumbling and pretending to karate chop the other pizza slices as if he cut the pizza with his hands. After he ate the last slice of pizza he walked towards the soda dispensers and shoved like 10 of those red Pizza Hut drink glasses still stacked together into his karate gi like a sword and walked out without paying. We had to get refunded for the pizzas because he ate the pizzas my mom and dad ordered for us, ended up going to Chuck E. Cheese.
are you trolling or its true?
@@donmcdouglas5017I have pictures from it
Sounds like a normal day for sensei Segal
Dude that was Steven Segals gift for you. You should be more appreciative of it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 💀
You are a legend Space Ice. Thank you for all the laughter you bring us.
"Doctor Seagal and his revolutionary medicine"
You know you're in for a treat when you hear something like this!
"Former NFL quarterback and all round disappointment, Chris Simms" That had me in tears. Hahaha!
Even funnier, a few months after this Simms became the only QB in NFL history to lose a playoff game to an opponent that failed to gain 100 yards.
This actually wouldn't have been a disappointment in comparison
"I'll answer that one for Chris." -- Mack Brown
There is no greater luxury in this world than a Seagal film. Furthermore a Space Ice review of these fine films. Truly some of the finest comedic and genius pieces of work put on screen by man. We are lucky to observe such greatness
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time with the McDonald's garbage all over his dashboard 😂
"...for reasons that are never explained" is one of my favourite Space Ice quotes, and it's well delivered in this review.
And it's never mentioned again 😅😅😅😅😅😅
Just respect space ice,you just outdid yourself in this one:armor truck cutting sideburn,dracula,alpha centauri.Just pure respect .
It's such a beautiful irony that you can take something that soils the eyes, and taints the mind, and make it something so enjoyable, and bring smiles and laughter from it. You're like a modern day saint Mr Ice. You've helped me face one of my greatest fears (that being Seagal's movies), and showed me that I need not fear the absurd plots, the incoherency, nor even the "blind man" shooting. You are a beacon of light, in a dark world filled with Seagal movies. I'll be sure to hit up the patreon as soon as I've got the spares.
Let us all pray that Seagal’s money laundring deal go on forever, so we never run out of his amazing movies!
That's too late - he made his last two movies in 2019, and now he has income from other sources ... he's a good friend of a certain Russian president and he even became an envoy for the Russian-US-relationships (no joke!!!).
"The CIA lady and Dracula, jump out the window" 🤣🤣🤣
I got some deep laughs out of this one. Seagal being happy at seeing the helicopter in the book, and the bit about his partner and light from alpha centari. lol.
Has he ever made a good movie? How the hell has he made it to this point in acting without knowing how to act? It's actually impressive
A few....in his first years as an actor. But by the mid 90's he just slipped and stop caring about shape or shame.
Hard to kill and under Seige were fun
He has a few good movies in his early years but I guess it's easier to have money on bad movies. Personally I enjoyed Half Past Dead even though I know it's a trash movie.
Honestly his movies are so bad they are good. They are an absolute shit show from start to finish that makes about as much sense as an episode of aqua teen hunger force but man is it a hilarious ride.
Man, you should know by now, Seagal does not act!! this is all a combo of improvisation and just doing what Seagal does!
"...and it's never mentioned again."
I'm beginning to recognize a recurring element in these movies.
The disdain he portrays for this man is admirable. It’s fresh, and never stale. I look forward to each of these with the same alacrity I possessed with the first one. Absolutely side splitting edge of your seat entertainment. Thanks. 🙏🏾😂
Man, ever since I discovered your channel I can't stop laughing. I don't remember I ever laughed so much in my life. You are doing an amazing work. I hope everyone will start appreciating it! Thank you so much!
I'm starting to appreciate Steven Seagal if only for the fact that without him, these videos would not exist.
This channel is like a designer drug, just cant get enough.
Space Ice set out to become a RUclipsr and accidentally became the world's foremost expert on Steven Seagal's filmography.
Easily the best direct-to-video Steven Seagal movie of the 17 he released that month.
Sir it was 22 😂😂😂
Direct-To-USB as some say here...
@@sihledotcom USB exclusives 😂😂😂😂
He must have been having a slow month
Keep up the excellent work, Space Ice!!! You're a saint for watching all these aweful Seagal movies, so we don't have to, and then making them enjoyable with your reviews. Don't ever stop doing your thing...
Lady says "I thought you were dead" to Seagal, she meant "hoped"... was the line that got me laughing
"After she breaks into a car, using her thumb print..." had me wheezing 😂😂. Space Ice is gold standard.
Just saw that.
😂😂
Massive props to this narrator for not only for sacrificing himself for the rest of humanity in telling us of the eeeeeevil of this monumental piece of celluloid waste, but also from sparing humanity from annihilating itself should they view this wastage.
Give this man his due! His sacrifice shall never be forgotten!
To be fair this movie is worth a watch. It's such a mess that I truly don't know how to describe what happens because they filmed it, lost the script, and since no one remembered what the story initially was in this turd, they litterally put it back together in a way that makes no logical sense!
It's brutal but I highly recommend it! And if you can piece the original story together let me know...😂
Stumbled across this channel yesterday and have been binge watching these videos since. Thanks for the non stop laughs, while I lay in bed, recovering from covid. Haven't laughed this hard in a while! Great job!!
“The CIA lady and Dracula” had me rollin’
"If you have a piece of paper and a pen, you can do a movie"- Steven Segal's Master Class 😂😂😂
"Pen optional"
More like colouring book and Crayons!!😂
YES YES, it's always a good day when Space Ice reviews another Steven Seagal movie. This made my morning... and day ... and evening... oh heck , the entire weekend looks brighter now.
Space Ice HAS to be in the medical field. His jokes about the medical procedures in this video and past videos are too on point for him not to be. Willing to bet EMT/Paramedic. Fantastic stuff! Keep it up, Ice!
"While Seagal hides in the back with the green screen" is one of the funniest lines iv ever heard, these videos are masterpieces haha.
"But don't worry, Seagal is Ok, that was his body double." made me burst out laughing XD
I luv how we refer to seagal’s stunt doubles as separate characters in every movie 🤣🤣🤣
"While Seagal hides in the back with the greenscreen..." Comedy gold. 😂
You never cease to amaze us with your brutally honest commentary. Nothing eludes you eyes, except maybe that the first scene was filmed in the Netherlands (probably because it was cheap)
eludes your eyes
@@tonypine3434 Thank you
I'm dying!!! 😂🤣🤣
"Where he waddles back and forth all by himself"
I have recently jumped into the Seagal rabbit hole and it is amazing. From this guys ties with the mob, his friend ship with putin, and even buying a holy title, his life is near endless entertainment. The exact opposite of his movies.
In fact a movie about his life would be really interesting, as long as Seagal had no say in it and never appeared in it. Should be easy enough, they can just send his body double.
they should do a complete spoof about his life, but change it to like Kevin Keagal so Seagal can't sue for defamation 😮
@@RayRhino1 or higher a Seagull named Stephen. Stephen Seagull.
Only if Will Sasso is Seagal the entire movie even as a child...
@KingC89 normal baby with a badly done deep fake of Sasso's Seagal even speaking when born and slaps the doctor and says "Ninjas!" And baby Seagal defeats 4 ninja assassins with the umbilical cord
"Then just to be a dick, he decides to sideswipe 10 cars on the side that she's on and plays it off like it was nothing" hahaha Thank you Space Ice this review was one of my faves yet
I met Seagal at a restaurant in LA in 1999, I asked him for an autograph and he actually gave me one after charging me ten dollars, but then he slapped a hostess after she asked him if he knew magic. He was carrying a deck of cards and lecturing an elderly couple on Houdini. I didn't think the hostess being curious about his conjuring skills was that out of line that it required a slap. That's just me tho.
>>I didn't think the hostess being curious about his conjuring skills was that out of line that it required a slap.
She was just lucky he didn't stab her.