Both are wrong, the married man and the woman that knew he was married. Women are the gatekeepers to sex ultimately so she is in the wrong as well for not protecting herself out of that situation.
I believe he was questioning if he should stay with a woman who would date a married man. The answer is no. He needs to drop her and never act on his impulses to cheat on the next person he is committed to. However, I wonder if he is only remorseful because he has now lost his job, wife, and most likely house. I say this because he didn't just step out once on his wife. The affair with the other woman has been going on for a year and a half. Therefore. I feel his conscience should have kicked in way before now.
I said the same thing after my wife cheated, but after a couple years I'm getting more OK with calling it a mistake, I'm thinking you can make deliberate decisions and it ultimately have been a mistake; for example, many of us have thought that getting married to / staying with our cheaters is also a mistake...
Why even argue whether this was a mistake or a choice. Could be either, could be both. Nobody has to live with the consequences of his actions but himself. There should be no tolerance for cheating, period. No relationship can be “fixed” from it.
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That’s because the wife is now done. He said the house was a start over and now he’s cheating. So she’s done. The ow may not be , and she’s sticking around thru the marriage she’ll stick around now. But the wife is done and he knows it.
Indeed. She is done. He blew up his career and marriage. These are the consequences. The antidote to pain and suffering is self respect and self love. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Divorce Lawyer On Signs Of A Doomed Relationship-James Sexton podcast 🌞 Divorce Lawyer Thoughts On Infidelity - James Sexton podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast ♥️ What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup -Ken Reid podcast ♥️ From Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
He's just absolutely sickening to listen to. The level of narcissism in his entire way of thinking His lack of empathy His self entitlement his constant selfish self-centered way of speaking. He's just such a disgusting person.
You obviously don't understand what holds a man together... plus he was man enough to not even explain why he cheated... do you really think a man would cheat if he was appreciated and fulfilled in his marriage... this guy seemed beaten down and ashamed... but there are always two sides to the story.. you feminist are always so quick to shame... I bet if he told the whole story you'd be alot more reasonable
@@clayhealey8428Cheating is a lot more about the person‘s confidence and self-image then the partner. Beautiful people get cheated on, fantastic partners get cheated. It‘s not something that can be magically fixed by the right „insert whatever they say they are missing“ partner. It’s why a lot of people say „when divorcing a cheater, it opens up the position of mistress.“
We've heard about his money, his job, his kid, his future, his ego, his reputation, his house, his feelings... Hardly a word about his WIFE and what SHE'S going through.
He did say he’s ready to change, and he mentioned he feels shameful. It sounds like he’s ready to make a change. He just doesn’t know how, that’s why he’s reaching out to Dr. John.
@@1CelloOne I think Abbiedevey1555 meant that him mentioning his job loss "before" mentioning hurting his wife and ruining his marriage sort of indicates his priority is not tending to his hurt wife and ruined marriage. He's more concerned with losing his job.
I Once had a boyfriend cheat on me with another co- worker. I would people gossiping about them while sitting at my desk. Piece of crap human being!!!!
Three people told me my husband was cheating until he accidentally pocket dialed me while on a date with her. The whole town always knows. I remember one woman coming to me, grabbing my shoulders and looking me right in the eyes. Then she says "I want to know that you're ok". After his pocket dial I suddenly knew she knew. it's humiliating. He was also fired from his job.
30 years ago, I got fired from Meijer from two racist managers-one of them had to step down from a gray vest to a red vest (yep, that far back), the other was his superior who was married and was fooling around with another manager who was also married. Corporate found out and had them reassigned. That was last in ‘96-‘97. IDK or care how them fools are doing now… Whereas I’ve leveled up on several occasions since then!
He never says he regrets cheating on his wife. All he moaned about was losing his job, his way of life and having to tell one of his kids she might have to move again. Its all me me me...typical selfish behavior when cheating. He is still in the affair fog.
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose You're right! I didn't catch that either. He was still talking about being with this other woman but because she knew he was married maybe he should end it. No accountability for his part, still trying to save his ego and cover everything up. He hasn't learned yet.
@@patriciasmith8334 Right ✅️ He never should be involved in a love relationship, especially not with women, again. He h4tes women to the core, even his sidechick. He loves himself & his career.
You don’t get fired after 20 plus years at a company for sharing one ‘secret’ with a fellow employee. There’s more to this story than we are being told!
@@Underthesycamoretree He claims to be a 20 + year employee earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. That means he’s bringing triple that into the company. Unless he’s working for the CIA you don’t get fired for sharing a ‘not particularly sensitive’ secret with your romantic partner, who also works at the company. You just don’t.
I don't hear where he's taken any responsibility. His wife left because he's been having an affair, and if that's not low enough he's seeking sympathy from his 10 year old daughter.
Thank you!!!! He started his call by saying he wants to change from all these misdeeds he’s done. However, when he explains, its not that he’s sorry for what he’s done he’s sorry because it all caught up to him. Now it’s his career that is making him take responsibility.
@@moaraa2575People only need help changing when it’s something they don’t really want to change…but know they need to. People who want to change will change.
He’s already beating himself up enough. So many people in these comment sections constantly saying “what an idiot, I would have done this and this and that” like you’re all so perfect
YESSSS!!! I WAS JUST GOING TO COMMENT THE SAME THING!!!! SO PROUD OF THESE GUYS IN THE COMMENTS!!!! KEEP GOING, GUYS!!!!!! TELL THIS GUY, AND ANY CHEATERS THAT MAY BE LISTENING & READING THE COMMENTS HOW “REAL” MEN BEHAVE!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
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Lack of integrity. The same thing that led him to cheat is the same thing that caused him to betray the company's trust. He is not trustworthy. His vows to his wife meant nothing to him, his loyalty to his company meant nothing. He fed his ego and his ego only.
@@kelrogers8480 Hopefully not a co-dependent but instead someone who’ve moved on and just spoke pity-politely to the immature father of her child, without any deeper meaning to her words. Let’s hope so anyway. Edit: spelling.
God-like, geez. That was me. Got that man back on his feet, lent him money for a home, took care of his dog, helped him buy a car. Not nine months later he did it again and this time set me up long in advance so I'd look like the bad person when he dumped me. Please, do not try to play God. Just move on and don't look back.
@@kelrogers8480Or maybe just trying to make sure he's okay enough to be a good dad to their kids. And/or she's concerned that she needs to get him back on his feet so that he can continue to help supporting their kids financially
I can see him taking her kindness as a sign he needs to get her back. All she needs to do is make sure him losing his job doesn't mean he misses payments and screws up her credit.
@@marshalliize It's actually empathy for the wife, she deserves to be with someone who respects her and values her, this man doesn't even regret cheating on her
@@marshalliize Where’s the empathy for her or the kid? He promised her this would be the last time they’d move around. Imagine how crushed she will be. Daddy needs to step up.
"it wasn't really a big deal" "I don't remember doing it". Yeah he Is nowhere near changing. He is minimizing and deflecting. He hates the consequences, but not really forthcoming.
Did I miss something, I didn't hear "it's not a big deal, I don't remember doing it." Also I saw a man that was in a deep valley and wanted out for he pretty much said that at the beginning.
@joanlovelace7338 it's said at the beginning. He said the company secret wasn't that sensitive of information (I'm paraphrasing). When John asked if he was fired for sharing the company secrets, he said what the company's reasons were "factual" and he didn't remember doing it but he found old text messages confirming it.
@joanlovelace7338 He said that he didn't recall ever texting/divulging to the other woman those sensitive work secrets that got him fired. He said he was shown the receipts of what he told her and didn't remember. Which is really bad honestly.
And he's even dumber than he sounds- you can be sure this was all done on a COMPANY PHONE. THAT'S why he got caught!! Dumb and dishonest and horny- the trifecta of assholery. They were monitoring his use of a company phone.
My dad cheated on my Mom after 20 years and five kids. I was 16 at the time. She wised up and divorced him. He was on wife number three when he got colon cancer and I believe he cheated on her as well. We just had his funeral last week and it was so sad to see how few people were there because his selfish behavior blew up SO many lives. I hope this guy takes this to heart or he will end up hurting everyone around him with no one left to care. I pray the wife doesn't get sucked back in. As a grown child of this, I can't even describe the deep wounds this causes for kids.
I am so sorry that you had to experience this. I can't imagine the trauma you had to go through. Hope you all are healed and taking good care of your mom. Take care darling.
My dad cheated on my mom as well. She left. He got cancer and shot himself. My take, if you want someone else, go get a life somewhere else. Never look back, because If they don't cheat with you with someone else, they will on the internet.
So true that a cheating dad ( or mom) causes deep wounds for the children, no matter what their age is. I’m 70 now . My dad did the same and it still hurts when I think about this difficult period in our family’s life. I regret that I couldn’t help my mom during this time, since us 5 kids were too young then. This also broke up the other woman’s family. I hurt for my wonderful mom and what she went through.
This man does not need a hug. He needs to learn how to take accountability. Cheating is a pre-planned evil act that should not get any ounce of sympathy.
Notice he didn't call in until he lost his job but cheated 2yrs ago, yet listens to John "all the time"......his priorities are all about what is affecting him and its the loss of his job that all of a sudden has him crying and reaching out for help...
His job was his self esteem. His house is his self esteem. I don’t think that he doesn’t care for his wife or family, i think he has a screwed up sense of self esteem. Some of us get hyper fixated on getting a good career, getting a house, getting a family that once we have everything that we’ve wanted we start to self destruct
Cheating is never a mistake or a single bad decision. It's a series of choices that lead up to the act itself. You don't look at someone & sleep with them immediately. You choose to entertain conversations outside of work or work subject matter. You choose to meet in secret. You choose yourself over your marriage & family. Cheating can be a lot of things but a mistake is not one of them. It's very much intentional & that's also why the betrayal is felt beyond just the marriage (children, family, mutual friends) & so deeply.
Exactly! The definition of a mistake: a wrong action/ statement from faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge or inattention. An ongoing affair that takes continued effort & planning knowing full well of the potential consequences is NONE of those things.
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My husband did this to me. People forget that it isn’t just the cheater that deals with the fall out & consequences of the cheater’s actions. The wife and children have their lives completely destroyed just for existing.
This is so true, it happened to me 23 years ago. I still can't get past it the pain is real. The damage to children is real. Although now we are OK, we talk. Life changes and we adapt to go on. We are strong inside.
He did open with the ledge convo. Someone who blows it this bad, no matter how awful they are, is liable to off themselves (especially someone who clearly can't handle real accountability) John isn't going to risk being the one who pushes this man to jump.
As compassionate as I am - I’m struggling to find empathy for someone who’s cheated on his wife at their mutual place of work for years.. I hope his mistakes will teach him a lesson and he’ll manage to become a better person… I feel so bad for his wife…
The fact that she asks what she can do to help even after that broke my heart. He hurt someone whose intentions were pure and who truly loved him. So sad.
Tbf this couldn't have happened to a more deserving person... he's got a TEN year old little girl and he destroyed her life and betrayed her mother. My father did the same to me around the same time in my life. I forgave him which devalued myself, my mother, and all women in the process. Then I grew up and saw him for what he was, a pos who deserved nothing. Just like this loser. Men like this are truly just Evil. One cannot do what he did and not be.
This is the exact kind of guy that blabbers secrets to hot women over drinks and then realizes James O'Keef is recording him and it gets posted online lol. Come on bro
@17:10 did he try to blame the mistress for seducing him ??? "She knew I married," huh ?? You did too, sir!! YOU swore an oath, not HER. Cheating destroys families, but his lack of accountability is the real kicker. Absolutely gross behavior
What are the odds he was telling his AP for years "We're separating. We're only together for our kid. We don't sleep in the same bedroom...etc etc." Which is what these guys always say. Every...single...time. And then when the AP found out he had zero intention of actually leaving his wife for her, she betrayed him because she was fed up? I don't feel bad for this guy. He thought he could have both worlds and found out...Good for his wife for leaving. This guy would've never stopped the nonsense had he been able to keep hiding it.
@lucindabreeding Exactly. Anyone willing to crush their child, their spouse, the affair partners potential family, all for their selfish reasons and keep up deception and indignity for years... what is a little extra betrayal to make that ruin complete? This guy and his AP are awful garbage people.
1. Naive of him to think that no one at work knew about the affair...they always know! 2. He told his daughter that he screwed up at work. Not that he cheated on her mother and destroyed the family. It's always about work, never about the family. He cares more about looking good to the kids. 3. Good luck finding a good job if your prospective employer finds out that you shared company info.
"daddy made a mistake at work" is going to make her fear showing up late once, counting her drawer wrong once. doing anything wrong once at work will ruin her. he needs to tell her what he did so she doesnt think one mistake could upend her world even if its small.
How nice of everybody to be so supportive and loving of this man who considered no one but himself while he was out sacrificing his family and livelihood.
This man did not make a mistake. There is so much more he is not revealing. If the affair did not affect his work, there would be no issue, he would not have been fired. He is still not taking accountability and I have doubts he will take the Dr.‘s advice. I believe he will make excuses and try to continue with the affair. A question for thought, did the co-worker get fired………hmmmmm.? I hope his wife has the strength to do everything for her well being first and, I have no doubt, continue to support her child. Hoping the wife has a good support group in place and the husband can lie in the bed he made and try to make it better. With respect, just a thought.
None of us are the worst thing we've ever done. And yet ... Infidelity is such a deep betrayal. For the person who is betrayed, it cracks EVERYTHING. You can't even look back at photos and trust your memories about how happy or loved you might have felt. I don't think I could risk a relationship with someone with a history of infidelity, even if they had completed a fearless, searching moral inventory of themselves, because they have shown themselves that they can hurt the people they say they love most for their own pleasure. It's such a character issue.
I honestly don’t feel bad. My dad did this and it’s devastating to witness as a child. I don’t think he’s remorseful for his actions…he’s sad that he lost his job and can’t afford to live the big life anymore… he lost the stability that his wife provided in the home, the stability that gave him the freedom to cheat and destroy his family. He needs to be thinking about how he’s gonna repair the relationship with his daughter, as she grows older how will his actions affect her romantic relationships? His actions have a huge ripple effect and I don’t think he truly realizes it…
How is your relationship with your dad now? If you don’t mind me asking. My ex husband did something similar and I worry how this will affect our 6 year old daughter.
He even projects trying to make it seem like it is his daughter that needs a big, fancy home … 100 % his daughter much rather would have wanted to have loving and respectful parents with integrity while living in a bit more modest house. A family that is loving and caring and respect the other family members doesn’t need to chase money and fancier homes. This man says things like “part is ego” when it is completely ego what he says.
@@Erica-wz8yv it’s heartbreaking. I had bouts of depression throughout my adulthood and didn’t pursue romantic relationships because “I was focusing on my career” but after going to therapy and unpacking it, I realized that I developed this avoidant attachment style because of the betrayal to my mother and our family structure at the hands of my father. I was protecting myself from going through that pain all over again from another man but in the process I was depriving myself of a fulfilling relationship. As an adult now I try and view him as a person and not so much as my father and that helps me maintain the relationship with minimal resentment, but it’s still complicated. Your ex husband needs to be intentional about healing that wound, building a relationship with her and leading as a better example of man. Kids are smart, this isn’t something that you can just glaze over hoping that the kid will forget…
I feel for the ex-wife and daughter. I’m in a very similar situation so I know the pain. But I’m happy for her in that she’s away from this scumbag. Blessing in disguise.
Right Erica…but John tells him we need more people like him. Coddling at its finest…I get it that he’s trying to help but you reap what you sow so now he gets to sit in his pile of crap that he himself created!
The GALL this man has to criticize his affair partner when he's the one who was married. Yes, she definitely has fault too, it takes two to tango, but he wasn't thinking this lowly about her while he was sleeping with her, was he?
He's a classic cake-eater. He wants the nice, caring, hardworking wife at home while he has his fun on the side because he's this big man on campus who makes a lot of money so he deserves both. Now he has nothing but a failing relationship with a mistress
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Exactly!!! I swear!! These married men saturate the dating market! I just shut down a married man at work yesterday who was laying it on thick! As the single woman at work, only I would get hurt and fired!! Get outta my face Mr. Man!!
He led with "I lost my job" rather than the fact that he betrayed his wife, destroyed his family, and lied to his employer. He was shady in ALL aspects of his life and it caught up with him. It's called consequences. And why want to be with a woman that aided in the destruction of your family? You think your daughter will EVER look at that side chick and see anything other than someone that hurt her and her mother? Wake up and be the dad you are supposed to be. Every single moment you spend with her is a moment being taken from your daughter.
@@christinahek maybe, maybe not but are we supposed to overlook the fact this guy is a total piece if s$%t. He sounds like a dishonest person overall, not just his personal life. So assuming your correct, it's hard to expect people to be present in their marriage when they have an awful spouse. She is the only one in this call that sounded like a kind person.
Cheating on your spouse at your mutual workplace is……..evil levels of selfishness and betrayal is the only way I can think of describing it. Hard to feel bad for him. People just do not take marriage vows seriously enough. So shameful.
I disagree that he’s a good dad. A good dad thinks before he has a two year long affair with his coworker and loses his good paying job that would set his daughter up for life by sharing insider information. He deserves the shame he’s feeling.
Wow, his wife is an amazing woman. That's better than revenge, just let him see what he lost for some blankity blank at work, and he knows the new woman wasn't worth it. Sounds like she backstabbed him with the information he shared. wow. The fantasy fell flat.
@@moaraa2575 It's always like this with cheaters, he never talked about anything in particular he liked about the AP, he just talked about how she made him feel, even if objectively he knew she wasn't a good person
@@moaraa2575 he revealed something when he tried to say she knew he was married and John cut him off. I sensed some contempt. You can still be addicted to someone that you know is a toxic. He knows.
Dude broke so many rules of basic life. You don't cheat on your spouse. If you do cheat, you never cheat with a co-worker. You never talk about work with others. His wife seems like a great person. So he destroyed all.of that out of ego.
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Notice how ex wife is gone with the wind ladies???💨💨 Important to make your own money or have the ability to so you're not stuck with this type of man for the rest of your life. 💯
@lorainefleeman6011 yeah they are already divorced, but she left him when he cheated....she didn't stay around is what I was saying. I don't know if she loves him or not but she loved herself more in order to leave. She may just be a good person and still sees him as the father of their child so from that standpoint is willing to help from a distance.
PSA to potential cheaters - is the few minutes of excitement worth losing your spouse, children, family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, house, bank accounts, assets, retirement and sanity? Probably not.
And soul. Don't forget it is a sin against God as well. I hope his wife leaves him. Cheaters should never get let off the hook. Adultery is one of the commandments right up there with do not kill, steal, covet, etc
He's deflecting the real issue. The finances aren't the issue. His behavior is the issue. His wife has no obligation to be there for him while he has a pity party. She doesn’t have to lend her shoulder for him to cry on. He needs to take real responsibility for his actions.
I hope his wife finds an awesome stand up guy who loves her enough to have character, honor and integrity. This guy is only worried about the stuff that provides the trappings of success because he got caught. Notice how he never asked how he could have a path forward with his wife but asked about a possible path with the ho he cheated with. He’s only sorry he got caught.
I hope this wife realizes even if she is never with anyone she’s strong enough to take care of herself, her daughter and have a happy life. Mostly she’s teaching her daughter how to be strong self reliant and lastly of what not to find in a partner. I took a little offense when Dr Deloney said the mistress was worthy as well. I don’t think she is. He said not only was she aware that he was married but she too was in another relationship. Doesn’t sound like worthiness to me. Maybe he meant him being honest and cutting it off.
This man sounds like he has zero integrity. He deserve the full consequences for his awful choices. Hopefully he leaves his poor wife alone, that would be the best possible outcome for her and the kids.
Wow when the caller said, "i dont know if you would hug me after what I've done" and John's response was, "i dont care what you've done, I'll call you anyway." That's godly talk right there 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Exciting video, A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldn't say it didn't go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isn't always Rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is, to have me, we compliment each other
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain, sister. after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
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This is almost identical to what my Dad did over twenty years ago---lost job and everything. He died earlier this year, and shockingly the mistresses weren't at the funeral.
I am not really buying his story. He is doing anti-social things both at work life and personal life. More of a borderline personality DO which is very very hard to change. Even listen as he says what he did he minimizes and deflects "it wasn't a big deal" "I don't remember doing it".
He wasn’t remorseful during the two years affair. He is remorseful because his life fell apart. The result of the action not the action itself. He would still keep the affair if his life didn’t fall apart. How did I know? Because he didn’t regret the first kiss but full blown affair for two damn years. Save me the “but he’s remorseful”, he is remorseful for what he lost not what he did.
Absolutely true and he completely is self-centered and lacks empathy for others. He is focused on his shiny house and shiny job so all of those superficial qualities. The man has the emotional maturity of a toddler. Complete narcissist
He thinks that having to sell the house is going to destroy his daughter, yet he doesn't think continuing a relationship with the "other woman", introducing her to his daughter and having her in his daughter's life will destroy his young daughter at all. How can he be so ignorant? That would be soul destroying to make your 10-year-old daughter play happy family with the woman who helped him break this family apart, broke her mother's heart, and lost her her home. Absolutely gross that he wanted to continue with the affair and introduce the affair to his daughter without skipping a beat. I agree with Dr John that he is a good man and a good father. Since when do good fathers blow up the family and throw them away like garbage?
Exactly! He's more concerned about having to give up the house and move his daughter. I think his daughter would rather move to another home a freakin apartment and have her parents together. And all be under the same roof. Instead of staying at seperate homes
Well him having an affair doesn't mean she has the right to take everything he has stop with the nonsense. I am a woman but lets be fair when talking and not talk out of revenge
Nice try but it really doesn't. Don't try flip this like the cheater is the good person and shouldn't face concequences. That's some cowardly 💩 @@Eddie-b3o
I’ve been married for 15 years. I’ve dedicated my life to him and what he wants. Raised our kids alone basically so he can go out and “work”. He’s been cheating most of the time and now acts surprised that I’m making moves to leave.
Oh my god.... "poor me, I lost my job, the money, the status.... I didn't do anything much, boohoo I just violated the company NDA, slept with a coworker, cheated for years and why does noone love me anymore????" What a piece of garbage.
@@truthisinthebibleit's not harsh. He's experiencing the consequences of his actions. That's how it should be. This man has SERIOUS intergirity issues.
I'm amazed how much Dr Delony is intelligent, empathetic and gives the clear right answers. Straight to the point, no sugar coat but gentle and warm at the same time.
Yes he is not sorry for the pain that he inflicted on his wife and daughter. He's only selfishly looking at how all of this affects him. He has no empathy and he's self-centered. He seems to care about his money and his house so of course he wants that status. Typical narcissist. He will never change He only called into this show to make a show. It's always an act.
And more sad about losing the side piece than his wife and child. Moreover, his daughter will now interpret all future relationships through the lens of her father’s infidelity.
@@Catmom-gl5nt that's why it's so heartbreaking. That woman and child didn't deserve it. But this PoS had to bleed on the ones who truly loved him. I hope the child comes out of the trauma this man child has inflicted on her, and he pays his dues manifold.
It hurts my heart that people cheat 💔 At any point during an affair, how do they go home to their spouse, look them in the face, and keep lying. I'll never understand. 💔☹️😭
@@glow1815there's no excuse tbh. You can hurt, the partner might not have been what they projected themselves to be. It can be a hell lot of things. But YOU DON'T CHEAT. You married/ are with that person. And if you cheat, it's on you. If you're hurting, talk to them, if they are the reason you're hurting, you go to someone and talk about it, seek therapy and find ways to come out of it. But cheating isn't the answer. At the end, you have to pay for your karma, and goddamn will it hurt. And also, cheating is a coping mechanism. People who cheat are truly insecure in their own selves and want validation and something new out of their monotonous lives. Hurting the person you say you love, doesn't sit well on anyone yk, be it god, life, karma, the Universe, whatever you call it. It's never ever the answer. I am not attacking you. I am sharing my PoV. I have seen n number of folks do that, and I know they pay for it in ways they didn't even see coming.
@@glow1815I'm always amazed at how they can go to church week after week and continue an affair. Do they take communion for their sins and just keep doing it over and over? I would say that somebody that lives this way is not actually a believer in God because if they were they would know that there is going to be a penalty for that sin far beyond losing somebody's house or job.
I know a man who had affairs almost daily and lost not only his marriage, his son, and ALL of his martial assets from his 21-year marriage. He was 50 after that.
I was so frustrated when he said he'd give him a big hug,I would give him something but it wouldn't be a hug. How dare he come on here and say I made a mistake,a mistake is forgetting to take out something for dinner not having an affair, cheating on your wife and kids and getting fired from your job. You're a grown ass man and take some accountability for what you've done.
Exactly, that poor wife should be calling in and he should give her a big hug...he basically stepped a knife in her back and destroyed a family and should get a hug???? Hell noooo
You need to listen to this man so you can make reparations to your child or children and not put them through more suffering quit looking towards the past because you can not change it. Move forward and never make this CHOICE again. Regardless of whether you and your wife reconcile or you and the affair partner. Accept the fact that you made this choice and move forward. Regarding your job same thing move forward and never make this choice again. Don’t listen to people who criticize you because it will just put you into depression you were wrong there is no debating that. Take one day at a time ask God for forgiveness and ask him to change the desires of your heart. Ask your wife and children for forgiveness and be the best father you can be. Show your kids that yes you made some wrong choices and there were consequences, that way they know that there are consequences for their actions but show them that you are doing everything you possibly can to start making the right choices and let them see your regret and then let them see their dad a strong man who has rebuilt his life. Don’t over compensate for their suffering because you will ruin them just be a good dad.He was point on when he said you are the father of her kids. Your wife and she definitely wants you to do good for the well being of the children so don’t mistake that kindness for anything else unless she tells you otherwise. You will make it if you keep looking forward and and don’t allow others to keep you in your past after you have changed. May God Bless you I know he will forgive you. You only have to ask.
I don’t believe Daddy loves his daughter because he’s literally showing her it’s ok to treat women like absolute garbage without a care about their feelings. He’s a pathetic insecure loser who needs attention from randoms to feel good about himself. I hope he spends the rest of his life miserably aware of the repercussions of his morally bankrupt behavior.
He's also treating that daughter like trash and teaching her that even though he promised a stable home, he lied, made bad choices for years, and blew it all up
@@tomw485 When you love your child, you want them to be happy and safe and stable. Hurting the other parent hurts the child. Seeing my mother hurt by my father's choices scarred me for life. He's her model for how a man will treat his partner, and she will almost invariably have serious trust issues in her future romantic relationships. Daughters of fathers who cheat are the ones who say "all men cheat" because that's the world they grew up with. Loving your child means you would never want that for them, and telling yourself that your relationship with their other parent doesn't affect them is lying to yourself because we all had childhoods and we all know better than that.
I work with kids in schools … currently a lot of young, white, southern young men. This podcast is so helpful and culturally relevant to me. Thank you for helping me be a better therapist.
He needs to put his pride aside and sell that house. He says he doesn’t want his daughter to have to move again yet he wasn’t thinking about his daughter when he was cheating with his co worker!!
It's the self-pity and lack of accountability or remorse. He's compartmentalized the terrible things he's done so that he can minimize them and tell himself that these are things that happened to him, not things that he did to himself. He was juggling chainsaws and is just devastated he cut an arm off without seeing that he enthusiastically pursued the path that got him here. One could even say his arm off and his wife's too, but he's not interested in her pain or the effects this will have on his daughter's future. Delony tells him he's a good father, but what he doesn't say is that studies show she will have difficulties and extreme trust issues with any romantic relationships in the future because the model that she has for a man has shown that someone can build a life with you and you can trust them with your heart and soul and that no matter how good of a person you are to them, it might just take one cute young thing winking at him for him to chase that new relationship energy and rewrite your story that he just never loved you to begin with.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
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Even when Dr. John asked him if he told his daughter he messed up, he says yes, he told her he messed up at work! What about what he did to her mom? He just goes on and on about his job and not what he did to his family? Then he talks about wanting to call his mistress. But he actually blames her, instead of himself. He broke the trust of a company that had employed him for years. And more importantly, he betrayed his wife he vowed to love, and his daughter that that he had promised he would never uproot. I didn’t hear accountability. I heard a man feeling sorry for himself because his actions had consequences that cost him his CAREER! His wife sounds lovely. I hope someday she meets a man that truly deserves her. This man did not. I hope he gets help and can finally see that his actions and no one else’s caused him that job he loves so much, and hurt the people that loved him the most. Then he can get his life back in order, and do right by his daughter and anyone else that comes into his life.
Yes, and it implies a helplessness to be better. Like me saying "I have big feet" (I am a woman who wears size 11 shoes) which is something I have no control over. What makes him a terrible person is his decisions to do terrible things to the people that love him/trust him, and that is 100% within his control.
I highly disagree today with you, Dr Delony. Matthew is OBVIOUSLY NOT a good person. Quite the contrary: he is a misogynistic, narcissistic a holllle who literally cares more about his career then his wife & kids & even has the guts to blame his sidekick for his denial of his family. He got right delivered what he deserved because he still sees himself & his career more important than other people 👏 No, Dr Delony, please don't say that again. NEVER EVER AGAIN!
Agree! He’s crying that he got caught and the fun is over. He isn’t sorry about what he has done, and doesn’t care about his wife. He cares about his money, status, house, job and having the side chick. He is narcissistic and has no remorse.
His behavior gave him the karma he deserved. May he learn from this and heal to be a better father if not partner and that will take time. The first part of healing from the wrongs you have done is to own up to the wrongs which many of us can’t not do.
Yes! I’m tired of the same old narrative. It’s because these people lack character and are selfish to the core. Everyone is collateral damage to this guy. Too much ego not enough sense.
The way you responded with love & open arms - you are teaching a fellow human who messed up massively that they are still worth something. If we all did that instead of gawked & pointed fingers? We could make a world like that if we could all be so loving. But we’d all have to start with humility. ❤❤❤
Just so u know. Cheaters only cheat because they have been given a reason to go looking elsewhere to fulfill their needs no matter what that need is. No one deserves to be married to a "roommate"
"She knew I was married." Are you kidding me??!!! YOU knew you were married!!! I can't even...
Right!!! That got me too!
The nerve!
Both are wrong, the married man and the woman that knew he was married. Women are the gatekeepers to sex ultimately so she is in the wrong as well for not protecting herself out of that situation.
@@KatrinaMelvin you need to stop. Men are gatekeeper of their marriages.
I believe he was questioning if he should stay with a woman who would date a married man.
The answer is no. He needs to drop her and never act on his impulses to cheat on the next person he is committed to.
However, I wonder if he is only remorseful because he has now lost his job, wife, and most likely house.
I say this because he didn't just step out once on his wife. The affair with the other woman has been going on for a year and a half. Therefore. I feel his conscience should have kicked in way before now.
Having an affair for two years isn't a mistake. That's a decision continously made over & over again for two years.
I said the same thing after my wife cheated, but after a couple years I'm getting more OK with calling it a mistake, I'm thinking you can make deliberate decisions and it ultimately have been a mistake; for example, many of us have thought that getting married to / staying with our cheaters is also a mistake...
It is a mistake. It's just not an accident. Mistakes aren't one time oopses. Mistakes more often happen over years. Accidents are.
@@wm7929 your more ok because you've settled for being disrespected on the highest level.
@@lorainefleeman6011It's not a mistake, it's a choice. He decided to keep doing it over the course of two years.
Why even argue whether this was a mistake or a choice. Could be either, could be both. Nobody has to live with the consequences of his actions but himself. There should be no tolerance for cheating, period. No relationship can be “fixed” from it.
Did he say he was having a hard time letting the affair partner go? But he could let the wife & daughter go……..that says it all bud
Yep. Having a hard time letting her go because she gives him cheap validation while she's also the one who snitched on him
Workplace romances can blow up your career.
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That’s because the wife is now done. He said the house was a start over and now he’s cheating. So she’s done. The ow may not be , and she’s sticking around thru the marriage she’ll stick around now. But the wife is done and he knows it.
Indeed. She is done.
He blew up his career and marriage. These are the consequences.
The antidote to pain and suffering is self respect and self love.
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He's looking ,,For the Right Push to get me back on track,,. ?!! Hasn't he kinda got ENOUGH of those ?!!!😮
I haven't heard this man utter one ounce of remorse for his adultery. If he didn't lose his job, there would be no tears.
He's just absolutely sickening to listen to. The level of narcissism in his entire way of thinking His lack of empathy His self entitlement his constant selfish self-centered way of speaking. He's just such a disgusting person.
You obviously don't understand what holds a man together... plus he was man enough to not even explain why he cheated... do you really think a man would cheat if he was appreciated and fulfilled in his marriage... this guy seemed beaten down and ashamed... but there are always two sides to the story.. you feminist are always so quick to shame... I bet if he told the whole story you'd be alot more reasonable
@@clayhealey8428 Hit a bit too close to home for ya huh bud?
@@clayhealey8428Cheating is a lot more about the person‘s confidence and self-image then the partner.
Beautiful people get cheated on, fantastic partners get cheated.
It‘s not something that can be magically fixed by the right „insert whatever they say they are missing“ partner.
It’s why a lot of people say „when divorcing a cheater, it opens up the position of mistress.“
He deserves to be shamed and any decent human being would find what he did shameful, but not ppl like you cause you lack decency@@clayhealey8428
We've heard about his money, his job, his kid, his future, his ego, his reputation, his house, his feelings... Hardly a word about his WIFE and what SHE'S going through.
She didn't make the call 👀
I hope this experience helps him!!!
Seems likely because he doesn’t care…just like he didn’t care when he had the affair.
If he didn’t lose his job…he would still be doing this.
facts
Yes. That's probably true.
Duhh
💯
FACTS!!!
Dude mentioned losing his job before the fact that he lost his wife due to cheating... That says a lot.
He did say he’s ready to change, and he mentioned he feels shameful. It sounds like he’s ready to make a change. He just doesn’t know how, that’s why he’s reaching out to Dr. John.
@@1CelloOne I think Abbiedevey1555 meant that him mentioning his job loss "before" mentioning hurting his wife and ruining his marriage sort of indicates his priority is not tending to his hurt wife and ruined marriage. He's more concerned with losing his job.
@@lisap3628 ahhh, yes, i understand. Good point.
The order of presentation could indicate the level of shame he feels around both issues, not necessarily how little he feels about them.
@@Christian-vd3nkexactly
His coworkers 100% know. These people always think they're slick, when in reality the whole town knows.
Yes 😂😂
I Once had a boyfriend cheat on me with another co- worker. I would people gossiping about them while sitting at my desk. Piece of crap human being!!!!
Not to mention that this is par for the course in these organizations.
Three people told me my husband was cheating until he accidentally pocket dialed me while on a date with her. The whole town always knows. I remember one woman coming to me, grabbing my shoulders and looking me right in the eyes. Then she says "I want to know that you're ok". After his pocket dial I suddenly knew she knew. it's humiliating. He was also fired from his job.
30 years ago, I got fired from Meijer from two racist managers-one of them had to step down from a gray vest to a red vest (yep, that far back), the other was his superior who was married and was fooling around with another manager who was also married. Corporate found out and had them reassigned. That was last in ‘96-‘97. IDK or care how them fools are doing now…
Whereas I’ve leveled up on several occasions since then!
"My world around me is crumbling."
As it should.
It definitely should. He hasn't learnt Anything
Castles made of sand
SOOOOO much evasive language here…”She knew I was married.” “My life GOT blown up.” No. YOU knew you were married…YOU blew your life up.
That’s something I always catch when listening to people: do they speak in a language of accountability or excuses?
He never says he regrets cheating on his wife. All he moaned about was losing his job, his way of life and having to tell one of his kids she might have to move again. Its all me me me...typical selfish behavior when cheating. He is still in the affair fog.
Trueee. He talks about his wife like a guest/ supporting role/ character of a movie. Once an a hollle, always an a hollle.
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose hollle? means what?
youre right i didnt even catch that
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose You're right! I didn't catch that either. He was still talking about being with this other woman but because she knew he was married maybe he should end it. No accountability for his part, still trying to save his ego and cover everything up. He hasn't learned yet.
@@patriciasmith8334 Right ✅️ He never should be involved in a love relationship, especially not with women, again. He h4tes women to the core, even his sidechick. He loves himself & his career.
You don’t get fired after 20 plus years at a company for sharing one ‘secret’ with a fellow employee. There’s more to this story than we are being told!
I was thinking the same.
and he says it wasn't even "particularly sensitive" ?
He said something about 'not remembering'. There's a possible problem in back of it.
He shared company secrets with someone who shouldn’t have been privy to the information.
@@Underthesycamoretree He claims to be a 20 + year employee earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. That means he’s bringing triple that into the company. Unless he’s working for the CIA you don’t get fired for sharing a ‘not particularly sensitive’ secret with your romantic partner, who also works at the company. You just don’t.
He doesn’t regret cheating. It’s the consequences he regrets He would be still cheating had he not lost everything.
He only mentions her income 😂
@@gostavoadolfos2023notice that??? How pathetic 😂
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So true
Yup, 100%
"I betrayed everyone I supposedly valued the most, but let's go over at length how badly thos effects ME." - The Cheater's Script, final chapter.
His ex wife sounds like a strong, capable, empathic and kind woman. He f'd up big time.
Zero sympathy. Absolutely none. He has regrets because of the outcome to him, not the family he let down.
Exactly what I thought!!
True. I dislike men who can't man up and own up their mistakes. Stop crying, I'm second hand embarrassed.
I don't hear where he's taken any responsibility. His wife left because he's been having an affair, and if that's not low enough he's seeking sympathy from his 10 year old daughter.
Thank you!!!! He started his call by saying he wants to change from all these misdeeds he’s done. However, when he explains, its not that he’s sorry for what he’s done he’s sorry because it all caught up to him. Now it’s his career that is making him take responsibility.
@@moaraa2575People only need help changing when it’s something they don’t really want to change…but know they need to. People who want to change will change.
homie lit the whole house on fire and now surprised it burned down
literally
He’s already beating himself up enough. So many people in these comment sections constantly saying “what an idiot, I would have done this and this and that” like you’re all so perfect
@@FormerMexican69 The universe doesn't care how you feel about your karma.
I disagree with a lot of commenters, I think he’s remorseful. That said, he made that bed and he has to move on and fix things
@@FormerMexican69 Cheaters deserve all the worst!
I'm so proud and happy to see in the comments section that MEN calling out BS on this caller....you MEN ROCK!!!!
YESSSS!!! I WAS JUST GOING TO COMMENT THE SAME THING!!!! SO PROUD OF THESE GUYS IN THE COMMENTS!!!! KEEP GOING, GUYS!!!!!! TELL THIS GUY, AND ANY CHEATERS THAT MAY BE LISTENING & READING THE COMMENTS HOW “REAL” MEN BEHAVE!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Accept ownership. Own your past. Change Your future.
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Hi.
@@inkpearls3364Hey there.
Everyone makes mistakes
Lack of integrity. The same thing that led him to cheat is the same thing that caused him to betray the company's trust. He is not trustworthy.
His vows to his wife meant nothing to him, his loyalty to his company meant nothing. He fed his ego and his ego only.
You wouldn't hire this guy? 🤔
‘How can I help?’ This woman is an absolute angel. What a God like stance.
She may be a co-dependent. How you come up it being God-like, who knows! 🤦🏿♀️
@@kelrogers8480 Hopefully not a co-dependent but instead someone who’ve moved on and just spoke pity-politely to the immature father of her child, without any deeper meaning to her words. Let’s hope so anyway.
Edit: spelling.
I see this as part of the problem….too nice and too people pleasing!!
God-like, geez. That was me. Got that man back on his feet, lent him money for a home, took care of his dog, helped him buy a car. Not nine months later he did it again and this time set me up long in advance so I'd look like the bad person when he dumped me.
Please, do not try to play God. Just move on and don't look back.
@@kelrogers8480Or maybe just trying to make sure he's okay enough to be a good dad to their kids. And/or she's concerned that she needs to get him back on his feet so that he can continue to help supporting their kids financially
I hope his wife doesn't take him back. All it would show him is that it's OK to cheat on her.
I agree with this sentiment. I could never trust a cheater ever again. It’s not hard not to cheat, I stand by this.
No empathy. The online troll way.
I can see him taking her kindness as a sign he needs to get her back. All she needs to do is make sure him losing his job doesn't mean he misses payments and screws up her credit.
@@marshalliize It's actually empathy for the wife, she deserves to be with someone who respects her and values her, this man doesn't even regret cheating on her
@@marshalliize Where’s the empathy for her or the kid? He promised her this would be the last time they’d move around. Imagine how crushed she will be. Daddy needs to step up.
"it wasn't really a big deal" "I don't remember doing it". Yeah he Is nowhere near changing. He is minimizing and deflecting. He hates the consequences, but not really forthcoming.
Did I miss something, I didn't hear "it's not a big deal, I don't remember doing it."
Also I saw a man that was in a deep valley and wanted out for he pretty much said that at the beginning.
@joanlovelace7338 it's said at the beginning. He said the company secret wasn't that sensitive of information (I'm paraphrasing). When John asked if he was fired for sharing the company secrets, he said what the company's reasons were "factual" and he didn't remember doing it but he found old text messages confirming it.
@joanlovelace7338 He said that he didn't recall ever texting/divulging to the other woman those sensitive work secrets that got him fired. He said he was shown the receipts of what he told her and didn't remember. Which is really bad honestly.
And he's even dumber than he sounds- you can be sure this was all done on a COMPANY PHONE. THAT'S why he got caught!! Dumb and dishonest and horny- the trifecta of assholery. They were monitoring his use of a company phone.
Not to mention blaming the mistress for knowing about his marriage and having her own side relationship, as if SHE was the bad one.
My dad cheated on my Mom after 20 years and five kids. I was 16 at the time. She wised up and divorced him. He was on wife number three when he got colon cancer and I believe he cheated on her as well. We just had his funeral last week and it was so sad to see how few people were there because his selfish behavior blew up SO many lives. I hope this guy takes this to heart or he will end up hurting everyone around him with no one left to care. I pray the wife doesn't get sucked back in. As a grown child of this, I can't even describe the deep wounds this causes for kids.
I am so sorry that you had to experience this. I can't imagine the trauma you had to go through. Hope you all are healed and taking good care of your mom. Take care darling.
My dad cheated on my mom as well. She left. He got cancer and shot himself. My take, if you want someone else, go get a life somewhere else. Never look back, because If they don't cheat with you with someone else, they will on the internet.
So true that a cheating dad ( or mom) causes deep wounds for the children, no matter what their age is. I’m 70 now . My dad did the same and it still hurts when I think about this difficult period in our family’s life. I regret that I couldn’t help my mom during this time, since us 5 kids were too young then. This also broke up the other woman’s family. I hurt for my wonderful mom and what she went through.
people in happy marriages don’t cheat, just saying.. not that it justifies the behavior but there’s 2 sides to every story
@@JennyS-s6f if someone is unhappy they should leave gracefully. Cheating is never right.
This man does not need a hug. He needs to learn how to take accountability. Cheating is a pre-planned evil act that should not get any ounce of sympathy.
❤
Men only cheat because they are not getting fed and drained at home
The effort that's going into explaining it in a way that keeps him in a good light, is sending me.
Sending u, to bring repulsed by your husband when he touches u and then being completely blindsided and surprised when he gets caught cheating? 😅
Dude is in his find out season. Hope he realizes his choices got him where he is today.
They're supposed to be so logical and rational lol
@@skarac3224they are supposed to be the head
@@skarac3224nothing about them is logical
Yea ok. 🙄.
@sweetbriarhuslin7371 nope! Cheater deserve any and everything they get, man or woman!
Notice he didn't call in until he lost his job but cheated 2yrs ago, yet listens to John "all the time"......his priorities are all about what is affecting him and its the loss of his job that all of a sudden has him crying and reaching out for help...
Right...John is faithful and honest to his wife. What the hell has he been listening to. He has no morals!
True if he was listening to John all along he'd actually learn something of value from these callers
His job was his self esteem. His house is his self esteem. I don’t think that he doesn’t care for his wife or family, i think he has a screwed up sense of self esteem. Some of us get hyper fixated on getting a good career, getting a house, getting a family that once we have everything that we’ve wanted we start to self destruct
I did think this too...the whole call is about job loss..
Like Sir....what about the cheating and your family?????😮😢
He only cares about losing that job, his big ego stroke.
Cheating is never a mistake or a single bad decision. It's a series of choices that lead up to the act itself. You don't look at someone & sleep with them immediately. You choose to entertain conversations outside of work or work subject matter. You choose to meet in secret. You choose yourself over your marriage & family. Cheating can be a lot of things but a mistake is not one of them. It's very much intentional & that's also why the betrayal is felt beyond just the marriage (children, family, mutual friends) & so deeply.
Exactly! The definition of a mistake: a wrong action/ statement from faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge or inattention. An ongoing affair that takes continued effort & planning knowing full well of the potential consequences is NONE of those things.
Facts
This! So well said and so true.
👍
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My husband did this to me. People forget that it isn’t just the cheater that deals with the fall out & consequences of the cheater’s actions. The wife and children have their lives completely destroyed just for existing.
This is so true, it happened to me 23 years ago. I still can't get past it the pain is real. The damage to children is real. Although now we are OK, we talk. Life changes and we adapt to go on. We are strong inside.
😢
John is too nice to this guy.
Wayyyy too nice! Overboard.
It's called grace and mercy
He did open with the ledge convo. Someone who blows it this bad, no matter how awful they are, is liable to off themselves (especially someone who clearly can't handle real accountability) John isn't going to risk being the one who pushes this man to jump.
lol he didn't know the mess he was about to say 😂
@@awlovesaw8502God does not abide sin and he will forgive you but not save you from the consequences
As compassionate as I am - I’m struggling to find empathy for someone who’s cheated on his wife at their mutual place of work for years..
I hope his mistakes will teach him a lesson and he’ll manage to become a better person…
I feel so bad for his wife…
I think that was harder to say.
@@stingray0033harder than what
The fact that she asks what she can do to help even after that broke my heart. He hurt someone whose intentions were pure and who truly loved him. So sad.
Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
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Tbf this couldn't have happened to a more deserving person... he's got a TEN year old little girl and he destroyed her life and betrayed her mother. My father did the same to me around the same time in my life. I forgave him which devalued myself, my mother, and all women in the process. Then I grew up and saw him for what he was, a pos who deserved nothing. Just like this loser. Men like this are truly just Evil. One cannot do what he did and not be.
I was cheated on recently. They always cheat on the “great best person”
It seems like it’s only the great best person when they get caught.
@@caseyjude5472Bingo
Yup!!
Absolutely right! I got the, "I found out she wasn't you," routine when he tried to come back.
Isn't that ironic 🤔
This is the exact kind of guy that blabbers secrets to hot women over drinks and then realizes James O'Keef is recording him and it gets posted online lol. Come on bro
Best underrated comment. 👍
😂😂
Hahahaha some dudes just can’t think with anything other than their johnson.
I was thinking the same thing lol
🤣 suddenly things make alot more sense 😂
I hate to break it to him, coworkers always know!
@17:10 did he try to blame the mistress for seducing him ??? "She knew I married," huh ?? You did too, sir!! YOU swore an oath, not HER. Cheating destroys families, but his lack of accountability is the real kicker. Absolutely gross behavior
What are the odds he was telling his AP for years "We're separating. We're only together for our kid. We don't sleep in the same bedroom...etc etc." Which is what these guys always say. Every...single...time. And then when the AP found out he had zero intention of actually leaving his wife for her, she betrayed him because she was fed up? I don't feel bad for this guy. He thought he could have both worlds and found out...Good for his wife for leaving. This guy would've never stopped the nonsense had he been able to keep hiding it.
Agree! His AP used that anger and betrayal ( to her ) to ruin his life.
@@Gotoworkkkif someone will cheat with you, they are showing you they are capable of the most personal violation.
This!
@lucindabreeding Exactly. Anyone willing to crush their child, their spouse, the affair partners potential family, all for their selfish reasons and keep up deception and indignity for years... what is a little extra betrayal to make that ruin complete? This guy and his AP are awful garbage people.
That makes a lot of sense. That tells me this man isn't very intelligent as well as being a cheater.
I dont feel bad for him. This is a tale as old as time. Stop cheating and thinking it will be a-ok. It wont
Acting like women are not the main cheaters in 2024 is laughable. Monkey branchers in chief
Amen. People need to GROW UP
@sweetbriarhuslin7371 no not at all. Women should be held to the same standard
If he were a woman, you'd be on his side.
@sweetbriarhuslin7371 Not at all.
1. Naive of him to think that no one at work knew about the affair...they always know!
2. He told his daughter that he screwed up at work. Not that he cheated on her mother and destroyed the family. It's always about work, never about the family. He cares more about looking good to the kids.
3. Good luck finding a good job if your prospective employer finds out that you shared company info.
When will men realize that women only even have work affairs for money or financial benefit smh
The lady was definitely God fearing vindication is the Lord 's
"daddy made a mistake at work" is going to make her fear showing up late once, counting her drawer wrong once. doing anything wrong once at work will ruin her. he needs to tell her what he did so she doesnt think one mistake could upend her world even if its small.
How nice of everybody to be so supportive and loving of this man who considered no one but himself while he was out sacrificing his family and livelihood.
Truly I agree I find it disgusting that anybody enables this kind of behavior.
This man did not make a mistake. There is so much more he is not revealing. If the affair did not affect his work, there would be no issue, he would not have been fired. He is still not taking accountability and I have doubts he will take the Dr.‘s advice. I believe he will make excuses and try to continue with the affair. A question for thought, did the co-worker get fired………hmmmmm.? I hope his wife has the strength to do everything for her well being first and, I have no doubt, continue to support her child. Hoping the wife has a good support group in place and the husband can lie in the bed he made and try to make it better. With respect, just a thought.
None of us are the worst thing we've ever done.
And yet ... Infidelity is such a deep betrayal. For the person who is betrayed, it cracks EVERYTHING. You can't even look back at photos and trust your memories about how happy or loved you might have felt.
I don't think I could risk a relationship with someone with a history of infidelity, even if they had completed a fearless, searching moral inventory of themselves, because they have shown themselves that they can hurt the people they say they love most for their own pleasure. It's such a character issue.
Nah dudes can bang other chicks and it means nothing, who cares he should have been more careful
Beautifully said! 100% agree
I am living this and how you said it is so true.
this is brilliantly said.
A 2 year affair is unforgivable
I honestly don’t feel bad. My dad did this and it’s devastating to witness as a child. I don’t think he’s remorseful for his actions…he’s sad that he lost his job and can’t afford to live the big life anymore… he lost the stability that his wife provided in the home, the stability that gave him the freedom to cheat and destroy his family.
He needs to be thinking about how he’s gonna repair the relationship with his daughter, as she grows older how will his actions affect her romantic relationships? His actions have a huge ripple effect and I don’t think he truly realizes it…
How is your relationship with your dad now? If you don’t mind me asking. My ex husband did something similar and I worry how this will affect our 6 year old daughter.
He even projects trying to make it seem like it is his daughter that needs a big, fancy home … 100 % his daughter much rather would have wanted to have loving and respectful parents with integrity while living in a bit more modest house.
A family that is loving and caring and respect the other family members doesn’t need to chase money and fancier homes.
This man says things like “part is ego” when it is completely ego what he says.
Definitely affects the next two generations
@@Erica-wz8yv it’s heartbreaking. I had bouts of depression throughout my adulthood and didn’t pursue romantic relationships because “I was focusing on my career” but after going to therapy and unpacking it, I realized that I developed this avoidant attachment style because of the betrayal to my mother and our family structure at the hands of my father. I was protecting myself from going through that pain all over again from another man but in the process I was depriving myself of a fulfilling relationship.
As an adult now I try and view him as a person and not so much as my father and that helps me maintain the relationship with minimal resentment, but it’s still complicated.
Your ex husband needs to be intentional about healing that wound, building a relationship with her and leading as a better example of man. Kids are smart, this isn’t something that you can just glaze over hoping that the kid will forget…
@@melaluxe8195 sorry to hear. That is heartbreaking. Wishing you peace and healing. And thanks for responding ❤️
I feel for the ex-wife and daughter. I’m in a very similar situation so I know the pain. But I’m happy for her in that she’s away from this scumbag. Blessing in disguise.
I'm sorry to hear this.
Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Right Erica…but John tells him we need more people like him. Coddling at its finest…I get it that he’s trying to help but you reap what you sow so now he gets to sit in his pile of crap that he himself created!
Cheaters are never sorry, dont trust any of them
John says the world would be a better place with guys like these?? Lord help us.
Seems to me like John has a consistent soft spot for cheaters. It's so bizarre
He means people who recognize they did wrong and are seeking help to fix themselves. That part takes integrity
You have poor English comprehension. He never said that.
@ Go listen. This time, for reals.
The GALL this man has to criticize his affair partner when he's the one who was married. Yes, she definitely has fault too, it takes two to tango, but he wasn't thinking this lowly about her while he was sleeping with her, was he?
@@swasje exactly, and judging her as if he wasn't the other half of the affair. The audacity is wild.
He's a classic cake-eater. He wants the nice, caring, hardworking wife at home while he has his fun on the side because he's this big man on campus who makes a lot of money so he deserves both. Now he has nothing but a failing relationship with a mistress
Haven’t you heard? M4n aren’t accountable at all, acc to them.
One thing a man will have, is audacity lol
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Exactly!!! I swear!! These married men saturate the dating market! I just shut down a married man at work yesterday who was laying it on thick! As the single woman at work, only I would get hurt and fired!! Get outta my face Mr. Man!!
He led with "I lost my job" rather than the fact that he betrayed his wife, destroyed his family, and lied to his employer. He was shady in ALL aspects of his life and it caught up with him. It's called consequences. And why want to be with a woman that aided in the destruction of your family? You think your daughter will EVER look at that side chick and see anything other than someone that hurt her and her mother? Wake up and be the dad you are supposed to be. Every single moment you spend with her is a moment being taken from your daughter.
This is not a good father. A father who can betray his wedding vows and leave his family for an AP is NOT A GOOD FATHER!
One small note in his defense (and I can't believe I'm saying that), it sounds like his wife left a while ago and the firing just happened.
@@christinahek maybe, maybe not but are we supposed to overlook the fact this guy is a total piece if s$%t. He sounds like a dishonest person overall, not just his personal life. So assuming your correct, it's hard to expect people to be present in their marriage when they have an awful spouse. She is the only one in this call that sounded like a kind person.
He only mentions the wife 2 times, first her asking him how to help (which sounds sarcastic to me) and 2nd hee having a good income.😅
Some people care about consequences and not actually regret their bad behavior.
He wasn’t crying when he was cheating. Bye. 👋
He’s sorry he got caught
@alluringbliss4165 100% you can hear it in how he tells the story
LOL...
This.....
@@alluringbliss4165 he’s sorry he lost his job and his career.
Cheating on your spouse at your mutual workplace is……..evil levels of selfishness and betrayal is the only way I can think of describing it. Hard to feel bad for him. People just do not take marriage vows seriously enough. So shameful.
I disagree that he’s a good dad. A good dad thinks before he has a two year long affair with his coworker and loses his good paying job that would set his daughter up for life by sharing insider information. He deserves the shame he’s feeling.
Wow, his wife is an amazing woman. That's better than revenge, just let him see what he lost for some blankity blank at work, and he knows the new woman wasn't worth it. Sounds like she backstabbed him with the information he shared. wow. The fantasy fell flat.
I don’t think he knows the AP is not worth it. He said he doesn’t want to let her go because of how she makes him feel.
@@moaraa2575 It's always like this with cheaters, he never talked about anything in particular he liked about the AP, he just talked about how she made him feel, even if objectively he knew she wasn't a good person
@@moaraa2575 he revealed something when he tried to say she knew he was married and John cut him off. I sensed some contempt.
You can still be addicted to someone that you know is a toxic. He knows.
I disagree. She keeps doing his emotional labour. Enough is enough.
@@anyagee9467 don't say "emotional labour" 🤣
That's a term Cluster B woman use.
Dude broke so many rules of basic life. You don't cheat on your spouse. If you do cheat, you never cheat with a co-worker. You never talk about work with others. His wife seems like a great person. So he destroyed all.of that out of ego.
"if you do cheat..." why would u even say that💀💀💀💀💀
That part came from “Rules of Basic Cheating” 😂
Thanks for calling BS on this selfish boy!! The women of this world respect you!
Marriage And Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@aladdout9454 only because people do stupid stuff. If you're gonna be stupid, don't be this stupid.
Notice how ex wife is gone with the wind ladies???💨💨 Important to make your own money or have the ability to so you're not stuck with this type of man for the rest of your life. 💯
The one thing that this blog has shown or confirmed for me is that Marriage is a sham.
That part 👏🏾💯
I thought they were already separated. But his wife wants to help him. She really loves him.
@lorainefleeman6011 yeah they are already divorced, but she left him when he cheated....she didn't stay around is what I was saying. I don't know if she loves him or not but she loved herself more in order to leave. She may just be a good person and still sees him as the father of their child so from that standpoint is willing to help from a distance.
She’s likely remarried and that’s how she can show grace she’s so glad he cheated
Grieving what he lost, not the affair
Narcissism is through the roof in this man.
PSA to potential cheaters - is the few minutes of excitement worth losing your spouse, children, family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, house, bank accounts, assets, retirement and sanity? Probably not.
For them, it is. Behavior is a language. Their behavior says it is.
And soul. Don't forget it is a sin against God as well.
I hope his wife leaves him. Cheaters should never get let off the hook. Adultery is one of the commandments right up there with do not kill, steal, covet, etc
Literally not one time
He's deflecting the real issue. The finances aren't the issue. His behavior is the issue. His wife has no obligation to be there for him while he has a pity party. She doesn’t have to lend her shoulder for him to cry on. He needs to take real responsibility for his actions.
I hope his wife finds an awesome stand up guy who loves her enough to have character, honor and integrity. This guy is only worried about the stuff that provides the trappings of success because he got caught.
Notice how he never asked how he could have a path forward with his wife but asked about a possible path with the ho he cheated with. He’s only sorry he got caught.
frr
Exactly!!
I love my Dr John family… straight, no chaser 😂
I hope this wife realizes even if she is never with anyone she’s strong enough to take care of herself, her daughter and have a happy life. Mostly she’s teaching her daughter how to be strong self reliant and lastly of what not to find in a partner.
I took a little offense when Dr Deloney said the mistress was worthy as well. I don’t think she is. He said not only was she aware that he was married but she too was in another relationship. Doesn’t sound like worthiness to me. Maybe he meant him being honest and cutting it off.
This man sounds like he has zero integrity. He deserve the full consequences for his awful choices. Hopefully he leaves his poor wife alone, that would be the best possible outcome for her and the kids.
Wow when the caller said, "i dont know if you would hug me after what I've done" and John's response was, "i dont care what you've done, I'll call you anyway." That's godly talk right there 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
He also said he may stay🫂longer than usual😂
It's enabling.
@@sharicoburn5475right? Like talk to them as they should be talked to “ what you’re done was wrong and awful. You knew what you were doing.
Exciting video, A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldn't say it didn't go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isn't always Rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is, to have me, we compliment each other
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain, sister. after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
He's finally having to be accountable for his actions I have no pity after having to deal with a cheating husband
KARMA IS A BIT-H
Marriage And Severe Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Basically, this man has no boundaries.
💯
This is almost identical to what my Dad did over twenty years ago---lost job and everything. He died earlier this year, and shockingly the mistresses weren't at the funeral.
When stupid people play for stupid prizes. If you would've just have more integrity, none of this would've happen. You earn what you deserve!!!
I am not really buying his story. He is doing anti-social things both at work life and personal life. More of a borderline personality DO which is very very hard to change. Even listen as he says what he did he minimizes and deflects "it wasn't a big deal" "I don't remember doing it".
The icing on the dignity cake is coming into a radio show and announcing it to the world 😅
He valued his lust over duty to his family. That’s a tough pill to swallow. I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself.
He wasn’t remorseful during the two years affair.
He is remorseful because his life fell apart. The result of the action not the action itself.
He would still keep the affair if his life didn’t fall apart. How did I know? Because he didn’t regret the first kiss but full blown affair for two damn years.
Save me the “but he’s remorseful”, he is remorseful for what he lost not what he did.
Absolutely true and he completely is self-centered and lacks empathy for others.
He is focused on his shiny house and shiny job so all of those superficial qualities.
The man has the emotional maturity of a toddler.
Complete narcissist
He thinks that having to sell the house is going to destroy his daughter, yet he doesn't think continuing a relationship with the "other woman", introducing her to his daughter and having her in his daughter's life will destroy his young daughter at all. How can he be so ignorant? That would be soul destroying to make your 10-year-old daughter play happy family with the woman who helped him break this family apart, broke her mother's heart, and lost her her home. Absolutely gross that he wanted to continue with the affair and introduce the affair to his daughter without skipping a beat. I agree with Dr John that he is a good man and a good father. Since when do good fathers blow up the family and throw them away like garbage?
Exactly! He's more concerned about having to give up the house and move his daughter. I think his daughter would rather move to another home a freakin apartment and have her parents together. And all be under the same roof. Instead of staying at seperate homes
Stepping out on your marriage should cost you everything.
Yes.
No. It should be based on % of income brought and then go your separate ways.
@@Chet_24 Not if children are involved, and one spouse gave up their career and income to raise a family.
@@Chet_24Lol! For cheating and wasting someone else’s time, he should get zero
@@Chet_24 Can evil ever be atoned for?
It takes him 6 minutes to finally come out and say “it was an affair”. What a loser. I hope the wife takes everything from this fraud.
Right. He would've never called if he hadn't lost his job.
Well him having an affair doesn't mean she has the right to take everything he has stop with the nonsense. I am a woman but lets be fair when talking and not talk out of revenge
Revenge says more about the person seeking revenge than it does the cheater.
Nice try but it really doesn't. Don't try flip this like the cheater is the good person and shouldn't face concequences. That's some cowardly 💩 @@Eddie-b3o
I@@Eddie-b3oIs something a cheater would say😂
I’ve been married for 15 years. I’ve dedicated my life to him and what he wants. Raised our kids alone basically so he can go out and “work”. He’s been cheating most of the time and now acts surprised that I’m making moves to leave.
Good for you and I hope you've got documentation and you take everything
Oh my god.... "poor me, I lost my job, the money, the status.... I didn't do anything much, boohoo I just violated the company NDA, slept with a coworker, cheated for years and why does noone love me anymore????" What a piece of garbage.
You got what you deserved sir!! I hope your wife does not take you back, and wins in court!
So harsh.... 😕
@@truthisinthebibleWhat's harsh is sticking your peter in a woman who isn't your wife.
@@truthisinthebiblereality!
@@truthisinthebibleit's not harsh. He's experiencing the consequences of his actions. That's how it should be. This man has SERIOUS intergirity issues.
@@truthisinthebiblewouldn't it be harsh for people to get cheated on with no consequences. That would be harsh.
"My world around me is crumbling." No, brother, you selfishly kicked your family's foundation and the world is crumbling around your wife and child.
I think it's self-pity that's fueling his want to change, not his guilt or yearning for moral clarity.
He might not even want to change , he seems to be in complete victim mode and just looking for someone to pamper and save him.
@TL-ch1xd Oh, definitely. It even seems like he would feel cleared of all sin just because he called in to ask for help.
I'm amazed how much Dr Delony is intelligent, empathetic and gives the clear right answers. Straight to the point, no sugar coat but gentle and warm at the same time.
Dr John is such a kind and empathetic man. I love the compassion he shows when talking to people, I think that he learned a lot from his dad.
Red flag.. He is sorry that he lost his job. Hence he brings that up first.. Has no regrets about destroying his marriage..
Everything he says during this talk are huge, huge, huge red flags.
I mean, he's still with the affair partner so he clearly doesn't give two shits about his wife.
Yep
Yes he is not sorry for the pain that he inflicted on his wife and daughter.
He's only selfishly looking at how all of this affects him.
He has no empathy and he's self-centered.
He seems to care about his money and his house so of course he wants that status.
Typical narcissist.
He will never change He only called into this show to make a show. It's always an act.
Here's a clue: men who get treated right at home. Dont cheat because they don't have any reason too
Dude is more sad about the job than having an affair on his wife, at their workplace
Trash
And more sad about losing the side piece than his wife and child. Moreover, his daughter will now interpret all future relationships through the lens of her father’s infidelity.
@@Catmom-gl5nt that's why it's so heartbreaking. That woman and child didn't deserve it. But this PoS had to bleed on the ones who truly loved him. I hope the child comes out of the trauma this man child has inflicted on her, and he pays his dues manifold.
Trailer trash even
It hurts my heart that people cheat 💔 At any point during an affair, how do they go home to their spouse, look them in the face, and keep lying. I'll never understand. 💔☹️😭
I guess it depends why that person cheated on their spouse
@@glow1815there's no excuse tbh. You can hurt, the partner might not have been what they projected themselves to be. It can be a hell lot of things. But YOU DON'T CHEAT. You married/ are with that person. And if you cheat, it's on you. If you're hurting, talk to them, if they are the reason you're hurting, you go to someone and talk about it, seek therapy and find ways to come out of it. But cheating isn't the answer. At the end, you have to pay for your karma, and goddamn will it hurt. And also, cheating is a coping mechanism. People who cheat are truly insecure in their own selves and want validation and something new out of their monotonous lives. Hurting the person you say you love, doesn't sit well on anyone yk, be it god, life, karma, the Universe, whatever you call it. It's never ever the answer. I am not attacking you. I am sharing my PoV. I have seen n number of folks do that, and I know they pay for it in ways they didn't even see coming.
@@glow1815I'm always amazed at how they can go to church week after week and continue an affair.
Do they take communion for their sins and just keep doing it over and over? I would say that somebody that lives this way is not actually a believer in God because if they were they would know that there is going to be a penalty for that sin far beyond losing somebody's house or job.
I know a man who had affairs almost daily and lost not only his marriage, his son, and ALL of his martial assets from his 21-year marriage. He was 50 after that.
This man didn’t deserve his wife. She is lucky to leave him now. He is only concerned with himself.
I was so frustrated when he said he'd give him a big hug,I would give him something but it wouldn't be a hug. How dare he come on here and say I made a mistake,a mistake is forgetting to take out something for dinner not having an affair, cheating on your wife and kids and getting fired from your job. You're a grown ass man and take some accountability for what you've done.
Exactly, that poor wife should be calling in and he should give her a big hug...he basically stepped a knife in her back and destroyed a family and should get a hug???? Hell noooo
Exactly cheating isn't a "mistake" it's your conscious choice.
You need to listen to this man so you can make reparations to your child or children and not put them through more suffering quit looking towards the past because you can not change it. Move forward and never make this CHOICE again. Regardless of whether you and your wife reconcile or you and the affair partner. Accept the fact that you made this choice and move forward. Regarding your job same thing move forward and never make this choice again. Don’t listen to people who criticize you because it will just put you into depression you were wrong there is no debating that. Take one day at a time ask God for forgiveness and ask him to change the desires of your heart. Ask your wife and children for forgiveness and be the best father you can be. Show your kids that yes you made some wrong choices and there were consequences, that way they know that there are consequences for their actions but show them that you are doing everything you possibly can to start making the right choices and let them see your regret and then let them see their dad a strong man who has rebuilt his life. Don’t over compensate for their suffering because you will ruin them just be a good dad.He was point on when he said you are the father of her kids. Your wife and she definitely wants you to do good for the well being of the children so don’t mistake that kindness for anything else unless she tells you otherwise. You will make it if you keep looking forward and and don’t allow others to keep you in your past after you have changed. May God Bless you I know he will forgive you. You only have to ask.
He effed about and found out.
She deserves better.
I don’t believe Daddy loves his daughter because he’s literally showing her it’s ok to treat women like absolute garbage without a care about their feelings. He’s a pathetic insecure loser who needs attention from randoms to feel good about himself. I hope he spends the rest of his life miserably aware of the repercussions of his morally bankrupt behavior.
The fact that you want this man to suffer for the rest of his life for sin shows you are a godless freak.
He's also treating that daughter like trash and teaching her that even though he promised a stable home, he lied, made bad choices for years, and blew it all up
He’s a bad husband but he loves his daughter. Letting someone down isn’t the equivalent of not loving them.
He shouldn't make promises to his daughter he can't keep. He needs to say, "sorry my little member trumps you baby girl." How pathetic.
@@tomw485 When you love your child, you want them to be happy and safe and stable. Hurting the other parent hurts the child. Seeing my mother hurt by my father's choices scarred me for life. He's her model for how a man will treat his partner, and she will almost invariably have serious trust issues in her future romantic relationships. Daughters of fathers who cheat are the ones who say "all men cheat" because that's the world they grew up with. Loving your child means you would never want that for them, and telling yourself that your relationship with their other parent doesn't affect them is lying to yourself because we all had childhoods and we all know better than that.
I work with kids in schools … currently a lot of young, white, southern young men. This podcast is so helpful and culturally relevant to me. Thank you for helping me be a better therapist.
I hope you're a better therapist than this quack because this guy was enabling a narcissist and I surely hope that you're a better therapist than that
He needs to put his pride aside and sell that house. He says he doesn’t want his daughter to have to move again yet he wasn’t thinking about his daughter when he was cheating with his co worker!!
The more that guy talked the more I disliked him.
Is it the stuttering?
I’m sure you’re not peachy.
@@AbsurdExistentialist of course not.
@@miketheyunggod2534 Mike, are you actually Matthew from Dallas?
It's the self-pity and lack of accountability or remorse. He's compartmentalized the terrible things he's done so that he can minimize them and tell himself that these are things that happened to him, not things that he did to himself. He was juggling chainsaws and is just devastated he cut an arm off without seeing that he enthusiastically pursued the path that got him here. One could even say his arm off and his wife's too, but he's not interested in her pain or the effects this will have on his daughter's future. Delony tells him he's a good father, but what he doesn't say is that studies show she will have difficulties and extreme trust issues with any romantic relationships in the future because the model that she has for a man has shown that someone can build a life with you and you can trust them with your heart and soul and that no matter how good of a person you are to them, it might just take one cute young thing winking at him for him to chase that new relationship energy and rewrite your story that he just never loved you to begin with.
Man had it all and pissed on it
It’s called greed.
That's true.
I was thinking the same.
Ego gets hungry. He kept feeding it instead of Ozempic’ing that beast.
It's called "taking it for granted!" You never know what you have until it's gone!
He doesn’t feel bad for what he did. He’s only feeling the consequences and the self pity now that he is dealing with the consequences
Something about the way John speaks, his voice, makes me want to write a list and get my life in order.
😊so true.
The amount of effort being put into trying to make himself sound like a good person is almost impressive.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Oh no consequences for your actions imagine that 🙄
💝💝💝💝From Angele: "You are planting seeds that will grow 30 years from now. Good on you."
Even when Dr. John asked him if he told his daughter he messed up, he says yes, he told her he messed up at work! What about what he did to her mom? He just goes on and on about his job and not what he did to his family? Then he talks about wanting to call his mistress. But he actually blames her, instead of himself. He broke the trust of a company that had employed him for years. And more importantly, he betrayed his wife he vowed to love, and his daughter that that he had promised he would never uproot. I didn’t hear accountability. I heard a man feeling sorry for himself because his actions had consequences that cost him his CAREER! His wife sounds lovely. I hope someday she meets a man that truly deserves her. This man did not. I hope he gets help and can finally see that his actions and no one else’s caused him that job he loves so much, and hurt the people that loved him the most. Then he can get his life back in order, and do right by his daughter and anyone else that comes into his life.
Affairs are so commonplace today it’s wild! Soooo many unsuspecting spouses out there. I witness it more than I’d like.
You should say something to the other spouse. I would say any someone to tell me if it’s happening to me.
It's always been commonplace.
@@jonnylumberjack6223 hell no! Social media has made it easier to do and get away with.
It’s not just a today thing.
@ No kidding!
The "I'm a terrible person" routine is very common.
Gross.
Yes, and it implies a helplessness to be better. Like me saying "I have big feet" (I am a woman who wears size 11 shoes) which is something I have no control over.
What makes him a terrible person is his decisions to do terrible things to the people that love him/trust him, and that is 100% within his control.
Yep. Just stop being terrible then. Simple
@@kathrynjavandel4357u need to find a cosmetic surgeon 😅
I highly disagree today with you, Dr Delony. Matthew is OBVIOUSLY NOT a good person. Quite the contrary: he is a misogynistic, narcissistic a holllle who literally cares more about his career then his wife & kids & even has the guts to blame his sidekick for his denial of his family. He got right delivered what he deserved because he still sees himself & his career more important than other people 👏 No, Dr Delony, please don't say that again. NEVER EVER AGAIN!
Agree! He’s crying that he got caught and the fun is over. He isn’t sorry about what he has done, and doesn’t care about his wife. He cares about his money, status, house, job and having the side chick. He is narcissistic and has no remorse.
His behavior gave him the karma he deserved. May he learn from this and heal to be a better father if not partner and that will take time. The first part of healing from the wrongs you have done is to own up to the wrongs which many of us can’t not do.
Yes! I’m tired of the same old narrative. It’s because these people lack character and are selfish to the core. Everyone is collateral damage to this guy. Too much ego not enough sense.
Cheating women are worse than cheating mean tho. Absolutely vile.
All cheating is vile. There’s not different standards based on gender…
He is crying because he lost his job. He never said how he hurt his wife. If he hadn't lost his job, he would have continued the affair.
The way you responded with love & open arms - you are teaching a fellow human who messed up massively that they are still worth something. If we all did that instead of gawked & pointed fingers? We could make a world like that if we could all be so loving. But we’d all have to start with humility. ❤❤❤
I enjoyed this. Cheaters get what they get.
me too!
Just so u know. Cheaters only cheat because they have been given a reason to go looking elsewhere to fulfill their needs no matter what that need is. No one deserves to be married to a "roommate"