What is a COVERT NARCISSIST?
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- The elusive covert narcissist! Sounds scary right? On episode 963 of THE NARCISSISTS' CODE we talk about the traits of a narcissist the is covert.
In this video, I'm going to discuss the traits of a covert narcissist. A covert narcissist is someone who is unlikely to reveal their true self to others. This can make it difficult to identify and deal with the behaviour of a covert narcissist.
If you're wondering what the traits of a narcissist are, then this video is for you! I'll discuss the different traits of a narcissist and how you can identify them in yourself or in others. By understanding the traits of a narcissist, you'll be better equipped to deal with them and protect yourself from their harmful behaviour.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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Thank you so much
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Coverts to me are the most dangerous… with malignants, they don’t hide it… you see them coming from a mile away… but coverts? The charm is deadly!
And you are dead on, Lee, with coverts I think the key to identifying them is the lack of accountability and responsibility…
I wholeheartedly agree! My ex is covert. Mehhh! They're like a Trojan horse.
I agree. they're on another level of evil and conniving.
LOL, my new COVERT NARCISSISTIC MAN by TEXT asked for $1,500 loan today & he was hungry. All the way from DALLAS TX. He owns a lovely home, well groomed, nice smile & he's on 5 different accounts on social media vibing. 😅
@@cherrydeleon9646 what do u mean the covert narc is ur new man? Are u still involved with him?
he's dead on because he was talking about himself.
PEACE!!!
Coverts are the worse. When you try to explain to people what the covert is doing to you...but they cant see it and you walk away looking like ur the problem.
100000% correct!!!!😊
The worst.
That is so true!!!
Especially when its their family. They will never believe you
💯 percent
Everyone thought he was the best husband ever! No one knew he was jealous, controlling, emotional and physically violent! But now he’s the poor victim! Happy new year Lee! Here’s to a better 2024 DIVORCE !!!🎉🎉🥳🥳 💪💪
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Happy New Year 🎊
I am agreeing with you. I am going through this now and going through divorce too. Played the victim blameshifted turned the narrative made me the problem had his flying monkey family support him and turned them against me.
@@rasheenawhite6010 same
Same!
My ex-husband was a huge covert narcissist. He was great at playing the victim. He blamed other people for his problems. I also had an ex-boyfriend that was a covert narcissist. He used to talk badly about himself so I could lift him up and help him feel better. Covert narcissists are more difficult to detect. I’m glad I got away from both.
Absolutely, and yes they do fly under the radar hard to detect until after a short time passes, but the longest they can maintain the facade is normally 3 months in, after that time frame the mask will slip and the their true self emerges pay close attention, and Lee is right Coverts are extremely passive aggressive and they usually speak in subtle language at least mine did.
@@ladye1777 yes the tactics with both covert narcissists were more subtle. It was within a few months that I noticed something was off.
Sounds like youre a Codependent then.
@@RayneyKayLa definitely codependent but I’ve been working on healing from that.
Narcissists never talk bad about themselves, not even coverts. You might be dealing with a borderline. They are Similar in alot of ways. Only a borderline will talk bad about themselves.
Overts like huge big crowds to abuse & coverts like small intimate settings to abuse
🙏🏽
I'm still working on this myself:
Stop talking to broken-brain people as if they're normal. Narcissists are living in a different reality. When we talk to them like we live in the same reality, it just brings more pain and frustration.
Remember: Their brains are wired differently. They can't understand and respond in normal, healthy ways.
Amen!!! So validating knowing others have experienced this hamster wheel of a mind fck!
This!
EXCELLENTLY WORDED!!!!!!
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I left my girlfriend a while back because she was a communal and covert narcissist acting like the great friend and family member helping out at social gatherings, but she seemed to forget me on my birthday and holidays or when I needed her most.
You aint alone. My Nex literally ditched me on xmas last year and I ended up buying my own birthday cake on my birthday then made me feel horrible for bringing it up. She discarded me two weeks later. Meanwhile she helps kids with special needs but was literally neglecting and blaming me for everything wrong with the relationship
ughhhh
Wife barely cooked or cleaned......ordered pizza 4 out of 5 days for the kids while I was on a business trip. Not long afterwards, we visited a friend of hers from church and she literally cooked the entire meal and cleaned the kitchen.........you cannot tell me I wasn't dealing with a covert narcissist. The first time I told her that she was accidentally exposing herself due to the design of her dress, that was the first time I heard her ask me if I loved her......this was non stop for an entire year. Just keep your sanity y'all, they are silent creators of chaos 😢
oh man
They're sneaky as hell!!! My ex is a liar, a thief, and so much more!
Covert narcissists love love love to fish for compliments. They like to make you think they are interested in what you have to say, but they ever so carefully will try to bring praise upon themselves. You tell them something good that happened to you or that you accomplished, and they’ll say something like “wow, that’s great…I could never do something like that…” and they wait for you to tell them how much better they are then you. They literally only pretend to be interested and use self depreciation to get supply or praise. They’re too cowardly to use overt tactics to get the addition to supply met. Because they lack the overt confidence they get used to playing the victim type of supply.
Do they take revenge, and smear campaign like other narcissists when you block them?
Absolutely correct. They are always looking for praise and they are super jealous of others. I frustrated the hell out of my ex because I wouldn’t give him the undeserved praise that other women would give him. So glad I left him. Too damn needie
1000% correct on this topic. I was married to a covert narc for 3 decades. Didn't know what that behaviour was but I knew something was amiss. When we divorced everyone was shocked because they thought we had the perfect marriage. Little did they know he was a complete a##hole behind closed doors. He played the game well and had everybody that it mattered to fooled till this day except the ones that could read him.
The worst.
You are describing my marriage. My husband makes everyone laugh, he goes out of his way to do for people and be supportive but at home he's a monster...he has been currently giving me the silent treatment for 2 and a half years now...has to control everything even your emotions...he doesn't want you happy unless he has something to do with it and if it doesn't he sabotages...it drives me and my kids nuts...it's really sad.😢
I love how Lee brings us the cold hard tea on a daily basis and delivers it with humor 🩵
😊
@@MentalHealnessThis is great! Yes please - more vids on covert narcissists. Also how do they face the crowd (like a church situation, party...whatever) where the majority know he's a cheater/addict, but the narc just smiles and struts his stuff like nothing's happened? Like I'd be f#*kin embarrassed and check myself into rehab!!!
My ex- covert narc husband used to actually dog whistle to me & the family to call us. I told him real quick that I don't respond to that & that he needed to call me by my name. We would have arguments about it because I considered it to be disrespectful, especially because I knew that he believed he was superior to everyone in the family, including me. Eventually, he would just send the kids to get me. As much as I originally loved that man, I can't stand him now. I still have to co-parent with him because we have a son together. When we divorced, I decided to limit my interactions with him. So, I didn't put him on child support & didn't go to court for custody. I just document our interactions, just in case. I don't expect him to live very long. He recently recovered from severe sepsis. He almost died. But, he still hasn't taken care of the original infection that caused the sepsis, which greatly increases his chances of getting sepsis again. Also, he needs open heart surgery too; but, he has to take care of that infection first. He is refusing to take care of the infection. Thus, he won't be around long. So, I just set strict boundaries, focus on taking care of our son, & myself. Surprisingly, I don't regret my marriage to him because I learned about narcissism. Learning about narcissism, helped me to identify and cut out most of the toxic people & narcs in my life. Plus, learning about narcissism helped me to heal. Our marriage was a good lesson to learn. Now, I can spot a narc quickly.
Y’all should have seen my ex at my daughter’s award ceremony… told me for 18 years he couldn’t stand his mom, but at the ceremony, he wouldn’t let go off her… he was the most dutiful son I’ve ever seen! The act was very impressive! 😂😂😂
I’ve notice this in a lot of my military friends.
Described a COVERT to a T!! I stepped right into a covert like a booby trap (after knowing him for 5 years and thinking he was super nice guy). I had dealt with an overt and it was an absolute nightmare. It was the first time I had come across a tru narcissist and learned what actual narcissism is in doing research in how to deal this person. You would think I’d spot another narc a mile away. Nope, but I did see the red flags as soon as this covert started his bs. I was like “uh, this is feeling awfully familiar.” Yep. So glad I saw it very early before getting involved with him romantically.
@@MTLV100 oh my goodness..same here ..from overt to covert thinking I was making such a big change 🙄 I also gave it years before committing and still got bit. Time is not always a safety net.
Yep! You just absolutely described the narc I know! Acting like a shy little turtle- BUT that they are not! Just like you described! So disgusting tge way others don't believe the victim because of the narcs acting.
That's exactly what they do they go silent on you . The jealousy is out of this world. Me going silent first is not going over well with him
Amen, covert narcissists are very good at dog whistling it's disgusting! 🙌🏿🙌🏿💎
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What is dog whistling
My Nex would literally come home and act like I didn’t exist. Say hi to the baby and just pretend I wasn’t even there.
@@JcBatres 🤨 ugh
Lee thank you for saying what they are all the time. They are sneaky, lying, controlling, little children that will never change and I forgot to mention big cheaters, smh 🤦🏾♀️
I can see that i was really challeneging for him on some levels because i wouldnt always play his inflated ego games. I wouldnt speak against his ex when he wanted to gosip about her. I wouldnt meet his friends and family where he could show me off. I wouldnt go on trips with him that he could post. I tried to do healthy practises with him, and i didnt commit to him completely from the moment i caught emotions, and told him i was not interrsted in falling in love but willing to grow in love which took time. I can see that he had to make up bad things about me because I didn't give him real things to complain about me. I am so glad that I git out relatively quickly compared to many others and am very grateful I can see it now.
OMG OMG OMG LEE… U just explained to me the last seven years of my life with my kids dad… Thank you Thank you… u %100 just validated my sanity
This is everything I have witnessed and dealt with growing up and even to today. It’s really sad seeing this person I love act in such ways and instead of being vulnerable and open they’re lashing out and blaming everyone else. Call them out on their bs and they can’t deal with it, they just go further into it.
😫💯💯
WOW, so the code talking is called "dog whistling." I didn't know that !!! This video has been nothing but confirmation for me about things I've experienced
You just explained my wife to a t. Self depricating phrases, her public life vs. who she is at home. That turtle neck analogy had me dying 😂 but it's very true. Thanks man. I appreciate you and ur willingness to be open and genuine about ur experiences. Got a new subscriber out of me.
🙌🏾🙌🏾💪🏽 welcome
I was familiar with grandiose narcissism & knew a bit about it. I had no idea there were different types of narcissism & when I started googling why I felt chronically sad in a new relationship in April of 2022, I ended up down a rabbit hole of covert narcissism articles, videos etc. everything started to make so much sense at that point. I started therapy & healing and I continue to learn as much as I can, I’m always learning more about this type of narcissism & it just makes me sad that I was so naive and had no idea I was being emotionally abused by him for the longest time.
“Narcissistic turtle neck” I laughed so hard on the inside lol
I led everyone to believe he was amazing. Once I started being honest about our life he lost his mind. When I moved on he really lost it. But when he found out he couldn't get me back cause someone else was treating me better🤯🤯🤯🫥 you woulg have thought I was killing him. I was his person for 12+ years
Here's a red flag I saw...and tucked into head. My friend purposely put some dirt on back of her pants to see if I was a "real" friend and tell her she had dirt on her pants or let her walk around like that!! I passed the test...she told me and said she tests other ppl the same way.!!
Wow eh?! Many red flags after that. Ive blocked her now.
Yikes!! Yea glad u escaped!
I’ve been no contact with my ex a oral surgeon who on the outside was charming and folks thought he’s amazing..no one knew he was the devil to me and others behind closed doors ..he’s definitely covert and I believe so is his mother
Hell yes there stupid mother always is!
Yes please do more videos on how to deal with a covert narcissist, I'm married to one. I'm a very forward person so I call him out on his nonsense everytime and he defaults to "I'm such a terrible person then, I can't do anything right", he always blames other people for anything he does, never wants to introspect or discuss anything he's done wrong but any minor thing I do he goes on and on about it. I'm at a point where I'm trying to figure out if he's worth it, I'm leaving towards not.
He's not
Leave honey as soon as u can..and if u don’t have a little child with yours like I do leave tomorrow!!!!!
@@IntrospectiveWoman I have 2 small children, that's the problem.
I grew up in a household with a parent who has covert narcissistic personality disorder. The gaslighting, guilt trips, and mental/emotional abuse have forever changed who I am and scarred me from the way I handle my own emotions to how I handle relationships. Let me tell you from a child’s perspective who is now a grown adult - I would rather *come* from a broken home than *be in* one.
Don’t stay in it just for your children. Get out of it FOR your children. Believe me, your kids will judge you later in life and wonder why the hell you didn’t get out sooner. They are suffering just as much as you are.
The abuse isn’t going to stop, and calling your spouse out for their behavior is going to be a lifelong endeavor. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth it to fight a disorder that has no winning edge, or if it’s worth it to end your marriage and gain a modicum of peace.
Wishing you the best. It’s a tough choice to make.
Thank you Lee! I really appreciate your videos. I'm watching all of them. I was with a covert. I'm 8 months NC, haven't broke contact once. I really listened when u said don't go back! God bless 🙌
In our church he is the most greatest person amd husband and father. Little do they know before church he has said something to trigger me and after then ask me what was wrong with me and get mad when i tell him he made me feel some type of way.
It’s been over 5 years since I left my covert narcissistic boss. I’ve known her for almost two decades. I quit working for her towards the end of 2018. She was cool until she went out on maternity leave and I had to cover her duties as well as my own. The next thing I know when the VP sent her an email and copied me on it what a good job I did while she was away her whole face changed and I was no longer allowed to make any overtime. However, I got the overtime back when she didn’t want to work on the weekends. She scrutinized where I lived and how I lived. Made sneaky remarks I know were directed at me. She would call me out during audits for where I lived, what skills I lacked,and my paperwork. It always blew up in her face because they saw what she was about and let her know it too. We had an audit and she said I lack knowledge in sanitation so I’m sending her for extra training. The auditor asked her to show him her training. She pulled out a training and it had been over 10 years since her training. She also showed him her college degree. He said he didn’t ask for that. She was mad her called her out. He said she needed more training since her certification had been 10 years old.
One of the few times I learned that you can’t call out a narcissist for their behavior. The madder they get.
Here to keep digging deep on if I have NPD which my wife suspects and I do as well
I’m proud of you for doing the work… most people don’t. I hope you and your wife have a wonderful future together!
@@tiffanystrand4423 wow means alot to be supported and given authentic advice ,, unfortunately its been a 23 year marriage of mainly nothing but toxic abuse from my self to her and shes reached her limit, despite me getting 1yr.1/2 of my own therapy making some changes and even beginning marriage counseling after she has committed something That has affected me in a big way,, now we both are really struggling and shes more out than in,, and i dont blame her,, she's only realized the NPD maybe a year or so as it's been exposed more with the type of symptoms and personality behaviors addressed in These recent times in more specifics,, I wish I would've found help sooner as I'm still looking for individual help again to dig deeper on the NPD,, my wife has her own battles and is trying to escape this relationship and it's hard for me to let go because of fears and worries but I'm also understanding that I'm only harming her more n my 3 children as well and I think I've done enough damage, I'm genuinely trying to find a way out so she can be fully happy,free, and can heal genuinely, I belive we do love eacother but we are also caught up in a trauma bond, I've learned these terms because of my wife(but many of them make sense) and there's just so many emotional attachments that makes it harder for both of us to push forward, I reached out to many people but I feel there's a dead end where ever I go or turn to,or im just stuck and in true denial,, I don't know why I'm specifically telling u this and I know it's also public I'm not one to do this but I feel it's a yell for help not from a victim point but from the abuser who doesn't want to be this anymore, especially entering the new year,,,,may God help me through and also find a way to let go what I have not cherished for many years on in(my wife) as they say u don't know what u have til u loose it but then again there's another quote I've read that says u know exactly what u have u just thought u would never loose it either way it sucks and I just hope it all turns out for the best...
That is awesome! Good luck to you and your family. Kudos to you for listening to her.
This is great. Don't just watch RUclips videos. Go get tested and tell them everything you can call to memory. Carry your wife with you, narcissist memories are selective, you want someone who would remember everything. The fact that you want to know means you want to do better. I wish you well and hope whatever the diagnosis is, you continue to put in the work and your marriage flourishes. You got this.
My family thought he was a great guy. I did too, until we bought a house together and moved in. Then we want up north to my sister's and he had to board the dog. He pouted up there for 3.5 days non-stop. He contained his rage made sure everyone knew he was pouting. So much so that it made everyone uncomfortable. I wish I would have left him at home with the dog but he didn't tell me that's what I should expect.
Yup my ex-husband is a covert narcissist. Dog whistle all the time. He would say some ish to his mother as if he's joking but he's not. Just don't want to deal with him ever again. Fake and a liar. Dangerous too.
Me to, when I told him I was no longer his wife, I felt like a grand piano had been lifted off my back.
You absolutely spot on in this video about Covert Narcissist...Wow 😮‼️🎯🎯🎯💯
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I went and blocked everything I had to uninstall Instagram last night my New Resolution is fixing me and putting me first
“You about to learn today!” 🙌🏻👍🏻😆 oh yea & you’re spot on!!
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Remember you're dealing with a Toddler
😰
The watch analogy is exactly what my husband would do on his birthday. He is poor he doesn't care about birthdays and he doesn't like celebrating birthdays and he doesn't want any attention… Blah blah blah. But on his birthday he will constantly talk about not wanting attention and then he will purposely block or turn his phone off or log out of Facebook and by doing this it was causing more attention to his birthday and I pointed this out to him and he got so upset lol
"I think me and my family are cursed!..." I heard this a lot! Let's just dodge out of the way of any accountability! When the tiniest bit of self awareness would have helped him to see that he was actually the problem! He absolutely could not grasp that he was his own worst enemy. 🤔
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Wow, you're preaching to the choir. Here's another one," The whole entire world is against me! " Oh gawd.
"They may not like the light shined on them like this but want the light to shine because of them."
Oh fuck..... That explains soooo much about the narc I was dealing with.
Thank you for the video
You're welcome
Thank God I know how to deal with my cop Covent NARCISSIST fiance
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💯. Lee literally said all the points and it brought back so much trauma memories. You really are the real deal
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My x husband was a covert narcissistic. It was over a decade of hell. Once he went after the children in a very negative way, i prayed and cried my way to the courts, filed divorce and God freed us.
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Really taking notes here Mr Lee ✍️
I talk about narc abuse on my channel as well, @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
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Yes you described what I dealt with tho the T! Please Lee can you please have a discussion about the narc wuth anxiety abd depression like you mentioned?
Because the one I know liked to blame their narc behavior on their borderline diagnosis.
Happy New Year LEE ❤ thank you for all you do. And you crack me the hell up❤
🙏🏽♥️
Happy New Year, which has been and gone in my beautiful homeland, New Zealand, and Australia!
I'm glad you've covered this topic because I've read so many comments elsewhere by people who believe that every narcissistic person is aware of what they're doing ALL the time due to their different behaviour in public and at home.
I've mentioned that there are different types though and some of them DO treat others badly, including shop assistants etc, or are rude to their "partners," or stare at members of the opposite sex, or whatever.
Another point is that a lot of the behaviour is like a knee-jerk reaction to perceived, or real, insults because it often happens quickly with no thought involved, if that makes sense. 🎇
I also had a covert narcissist, he was very charmingly loving and caring in the beginning so much so that it was over the top, he gave me gifts and wanted to do my shopping and give me gifts of money, I refused every time but he insisted, he threw then put it in my mailbox. But at the same time I noticed that he was a very insecure man, he felt very insecure around a lot of unknown people, he didn't know how to behave, he couldn't stand rejection, when I told him that I didn't have time today I immediately became angry punished with passive aggressive behavior or he cheated.He was always very funny and sweet in the beginning, you just loved him, and now the loss is even sadder.He came from Sudan I think something bad must have happened there, he never wanted to talk about it, he just said there was a terrible accident with his mother when he was little
I love your back ground we can talk about the entire galaxy 🕊🙏.
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@@MentalHealness People are ignorant to new year . I cant say happy new year if our earths calendar isn't even right . Its midnight here the first of January it's morning you still have a couple of hours to go before 2024 🙏🕊🌍.
@@lozannevanniekerk5489 I'm not sure if anyone really knows the real date. There are so many calendars and various rulers changed things for vanity.
@@recoveringsoul755 People really need to look deeper into things than to live ignorantly . Many holidays also has pagan roots as well .
@@recoveringsoul755 Your right recoveringsoul .
Covert narcs have dog whistles, they also are talented at crying wolf, often when it comes to money.
😩
Please some one explain this whole statement to me
Wow. You described my former best friend absolutely perfectly
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It’s the social media posts playing the victim for me! If I responded publicly it would not be good! 🙏🏾
You have to record the coverts!!
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Covert Narcissists are the most dangerous of all Narcissistic types
Thank you Lee. Happy New Year to you and the family!
Happy new year!
You just explained my ex so exactly. It’s so frustrating. He would block me so often and then unblock me on different apps that I finally just blurted out “the only reason you unblock me is so you can block again!” lol, ugh…it was so frustrating and he would trigger me so bad that I would end up apologizing to him for how I reacted when he did something wrong 🤦♀️ it’s crazy!
I really have to laugh so I don’t cry, lol.
They are also really vague. He used to almost talk in riddles and I thought he was this wise and humble person at first, but he was just avoiding answering questions 🤕 i was always confused. You’re right about the jealousy too, it was really intense and the passive aggressive things could be really cruel. Very sensitive too, it’s like the overt ones just keep making up new things to blame you for but he would hold a grudge about the tiniest thing taken out of context for months snd months.
OMG.... Spot on! 💯💯💣
I have a covert narcissist
😰
Thank you as always Mr.Lee
you’re welcome
I haven’t been here for a while… nice intro
i appreciate it
After 6 years off and on, Im the one who usually leaves because I leave at the sign of red flag before we really got deep enough into the relationship. As soon as I saw him shift, Id leave. After a year or so we would reconnect and Id jump back in. I always thought I was just too leaving too soon. But this time, 6 years later, I realize this man is a covert narcissist. Because he begged me to stop leaving and just talk to him when something is wrong. Turns out, he doesnt want to be told somethings wrong. Boom. Silent treatment. Stone walling. And all of a sudden I realized my leaving was saving me from his trauma. It didnt take me long to see it this time, just a few months but I see it. And Im now done for good. That is my blessing. I can love you and act like you dont exist
Narcissist turtle neck...so funny. Yes they appear so humble and helpful almost fawning when love bombing its gross
Super introverted and painfully quiet in public
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Thats exactly what I was dealing with.
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Wow..one of the first on here.
Happy New Years Eve!🎉🎈
Happy new year!!
My ex Narc was coverts all day long. He was sneaky as hell and a liar/CHEATER!
My ex was quiet and shy but he a strange individual. But has a big bite sometimes!
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Happy “New Year”🥳 Lee & Family🎉💯🌟⭐️💫♥️💜💛
Happy New Year
@@MentalHealness 🙋♀️🎉🥳💯😁🌟💫2024⭐️🌟💫
My twin sister is a covert. I never knew what to call her disorder she has been this way since middle school . She's always triggered me with her nasty ways of abuse
Thank you I finally feel like I am not crazy after 35 years of marriage. I knew my spouse didn’t talk rough like I hear people say narcissist do. If I tell him something he does makes me feel dirty or cheap he doesn’t hear me, instead he says he is terrible he is no good then makes jabs at me the next day. Then gives me the cold shoulder til I apologize.
Why are narcs engaged in toxic behaviour when they feel shame and try to avoid it? Doesn’t the toxic behaviour induce shame in them? If not, why not?
Narcissists have no conscience. That is: we have a born bias that tells us what is wrong and right and our conscience reminds us if it's wrong and prevents us from acting on a wrong idea.
Narcs have that as well, but they don't care. Their main focus is: does it get me the attention I crave? If yes, they do it.
Avoiding responsibility is how they try to hide from this behaviour, because they know it is wrong.
You answered it in the question. They do the toxic behavior to avoid feeling the shame, it’s like a high. They don’t want to feel the shame after each incident so they project it on to something else and it allows them to feel like a victim. Wash and repeat. They usually have no clue they are doing this (lack of self awareness). I hope that makes sense.
covert and overt narcs are the SAME. they osculate between the two states depending on if they feel in control or not, covert tend to stay in vulnerable narc. state. When they are overt, they just "accept" that "who they are" (ironically its not who they are - its a state of constant denial and openly aggressive) is fine.
Happy New Year Lee🎉🎊🙏🏽
Happy new year!!
The Subscribe Today appearing when describing how a covert narcissist gets their kicks 😂
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I was married for 25 years and it took me 25 years to see he is a covert narcissist. He always showed interest in me but as I learned it was all a lie. I recently divorced him (Aug 2024). He is too sneaky, manipulative and always gave me the silent treatment when trying to talk to him about what he wasn’t doing to assist. I felt like his nurse, doctor maid etc. learned he was a porn addict for 42 years. So glad i got rid of him as he didn’t being nothing to the table. I am thankful we had no kids. 🙏🏽. I pray he gets help. He always looked for pity from me. Smh
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My husband was a covert theres not WORKING that shit out! Trust me!
Yep . He used to say you would all be better off if I was dead..... So I would worry for weeks at a time
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My ex was a covert narcissist. He was everything you said to the tee.
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My family and another acquaintance family were in a circle. I had no clue, but covert NM was dying to tell the world I'm already 30 and still single. What does she do? INDUCES ppl to ask my age and relationship status by throwing around some conversations hooks in that direction. I was 🤯 by her "skills" as I witness this master of manipulation quietly plant seeds on everyone's mind that I'm getting old and manless. I don't DARE tell this to anyone other than my therapist bcs they'll think I'm neurotic. But when you've lived with someone for DECADES and you're switched on, you can hear the intentions just as clearly as the words they say.
12:57😮…..I have heard multiple times
I hope your weekend is Merry and Bright.
Happy New Year👑
Happy New Year
Thank you I'm not crazy. Lol
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Boogie is a famous example of a covert narc. Another I know is Vic Mignogna (Chris Sabat told me a lot about him & I met Vic too)
boogie follows me on tiktok
@@MentalHealness you ever gonna have him on as a self aware covert narc?
Not “narcissistic turtle neck” Omgeee 🐢😭😹💀
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My Ex litetally physically attacked when my back was turned.
Lee ~ what was your turning point that made you want to work on changing?
He mentioned it in the video... to self-serve
The narc that I just ghosted is a covert narc! He does all of that pathetic ish! Five and a half years wasted with that dumbass!
Me: Hey, can we have a little more open communication in our relationship? I'm feeling a little insecure and it would put my fears to rest.
Him: OMG! I'M JUST A PIECE OF SHIT! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!
Me:.....ummmm, are you ok? What happened?
Omg I had a previous friend who had borderline personality disorder and narcissism. Once I gave him casual advice about his picture taking. He went off, slammed his butt on the bed in the hotel room and screamed, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!
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So weird they all seem to be reading from the same script. Told guy I was dating for about 3 months
Me: we’re both quite articulate but seem to be missing each other in communication
Him: sure, blips here and there but we’re fine
Me: We’ll need to fix those blips in communication or it may be problematic down the line
Him: (rigid, yelling and staring with the narc wild eye stare) YEAH SURE SO WHAT I sAID IS JUST BULL SHIT! THEN LET’S NEVER COMMUNICATE AGAIN!
I was confused for a few seconds as to why he suddenly became so angry. A Big, ugly 55 year old man having a full on temper tantrum. I left immediately. I saw his mask slip a few times but that last episode made me walk and stay NC. Who gets angry and starts yelling and cursing when you ask for ways that you both can improve communication to make a relationship work?
So weird they all seem to be reading from the same script. Told guy I was dating for about 3 months
Me: we’re both quite articulate but seem to be missing each other in communication
Him: sure, blips here and there but we’re fine
Me: We’ll need to fix those blips in communication or it may be problematic down the line
Him: (rigid, yelling and staring with the narc wild eye stare) YEAH SURE SO WHAT I sAID IS JUST BULL SHIT! THEN LET’S NEVER COMMUNICATE AGAIN!
I was confused for a few seconds as to why he suddenly became so angry. A Big, ugly 55 year old man having a full on temper tantrum. I left immediately. I saw his mask slip a few times but that last episode made me walk and stay NC. Who gets angry and starts yelling and cursing when you ask for ways that you both can improve communication to make a relationship work?
The ONLY reason why I was fooled for over a year by my last ex is because he was a very skilled HUGE COVERT and I just didn’t know that there was such thing as a covert years ago but glad I broke it off as soon as I realized rather than wasting years and years of my life on a TOXIC DEMON who will NEVER change since he refuses to ever take accountability for anything just another red flag! 🚩‼️🚨👹👺💯
That little narcissist turtle neck, lmao!
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My narc ex was covert. Everything was always this big secret all the way to coming home one night from work, he was supposedly was in bed and I found his petition for divorce laying on the couch!!!
My mother is a covert narcissist
Dog whistles are the worst.
This video explains my dad perfectly on every little detail. Covert is definitely the most infuriating and manipulative. I'd rather deal with an overt. Still have to deal with him sometimes at the age of 27
Thank you 🙏👍
Be thankful for the silent treatment. You get used to it. And its much better then when they do the word salad, snide shade comments, lil discretions that " their" friends did.