Narcissists want people thinking you’re the problem 😤
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- There are things we go through in life that are hard. I hope this video gives you the education that you need and the encouragement to overcome some of the things that you have been through!
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I think it all boils down to envy jealousy insecurity
It really depends on the situation. For instance, Stephanie has preyed on strangers, violated, exploited, targeted, defamed, stalked, and enslaved strangers for years, calling those strangers "narcissists" to build her platform over years. This video is a projection, and she has worked for years to degrade, defame, malign, and lie about strangers, to dismiss strangers, invalidate, and silence them, trying to get people to hate them as she benefits from her impossible lies and abuse for years. Stephanie is the psychopath.
It’s terrible
You guys have no reason to feel that way❤
That's all it just shows you who was really real or fake from the beginning bc if they believed what they heard they were never real or on your side as a friend there's a lot of narcissistic ppl walking the Earth America was built on narcissism
Absolutely
THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GET FALSELY ACCUSED.
Stephanie has built her platform falsely accusing strangers, lying, with endless false narratives about strangers she has never met for years, and that's how she has built her platform. This fraud has preyed on strangers, violated, exploited, targeted, defamed, stalked, and enslaved strangers for years to promote herself.
TYSM 😬 true, true, true
Just a question i woke up to, why does it seem people believe the narcissist with their smear campaigns than the other party "victim"? And do they know they are being manipulated by them? It's so rampart for people to believe the narcissist over the abusee. Smh.
Narcissists always self-sabotage in the end - you just have to let them.
@@Hollyucinogenexactly. I’m not too worried about the narcissist in my life as she opens her mouth and shows her true self often and any sane person would see she’s crazy.
The reason they tell you that you are the problem is because they believe they have the right to use you...they tell you that you are a problem because you are standing up for yourself and going against them.
My ex acted like he owned me. It's sickening.
So true.
Exactly right. Sadly.
I have experienced that.
You learn that you are better off being alone than being miserable with a dishonest person like a narcissist!
I had a friend who owed me 1000k. I helped her because she has 8 kids and no father is present in their lives. Her only car broke down and she had no way of getting her kids anywhere! She’s never paid me back, but impersonating me recently to take a certificate I owed and when it was exposed. She in turned sent me a text stating I should be ashamed of myself because I would not allow her to take something that didn’t belong to her! I feel she’s dangerous, delusional and very revengeful! I’ve removed myself completely! I desire no interaction with her ever again. Sad to say, she’s a toxic person and only sees everyone else! I hope she doesn’t kill anyone!
Agreed.
Mine has caused me mental breakdown 😢😢😢😢😢
@@conniemiller5125
Power back in prayer. Tell-A-Vision. The keys.
When the Bible was being edited by the Pharisee and Sanhedrin, (who later took the titles Pope and the council of Cardinals) They deliberately broke the Lord's prayer when they instituted the translation in the Latin. They did, infact, turn our Father Creator into a fetch-/-vending machine. Thereby, leaving every part of it up to him. Hallow your own name, do your own will, restore your kingdom yourself. (Think about it.) What of this includes you? None of it includes you. Other than you being a sit on the couch recipient of his deeds, of course. Originally, Jesus had said it in the Greek. And here it is.
Our Father who art in heaven.
Thy name must be being Hallowed. (That means, you Hallow it.)
They Will must be being done on earth as it is in heaven. (Guess who's on earth? You are. It's up to you to do his Will here.)
Thy kingdom must be being restored. (Yeah, that's you again. And for the individual, it doesn't mean unto the whole world, it is generational. Lovingly, slowly, repetitively, patiently tell your children. Ten years, that's how long it takes to put it in their hearts. Remember, do not turn it into a weapon. Your neck, the mill stone and the sea.)
Give us today, our tomorrow's bread. (The wisdom of Jesus, as though we stood beside him in the present tense.)
Forgive us our failings as we forgive those who have hurt us. (Now, what I am writing here will make a lot more sense once you have read, keys to the Kingdom. If you have truly reconciled them unto your heart and forgiven them to the full measure, is this not the first time that this has come out of your mouth in all it's intended honesty? I'm betting it is.)
Lead us away from evil, delivering us from its temptation as these are not that which you intended. (This may differ as I could not find the translation for accuracy.)
Bottom line here is that you are a required part of the power pack.
He goes before us and prepares the way. Is
Simply this. You want or need a better position and pay. So, you pray unto the Father and he, because the Father is a mind, he is mentality, (the kybalion will explain this perfectly.) He reaches forth in thought, whispering to the hearts and minds of those who will assist you, to give you that which you have asked for. (In belief. Ask, believe and receive.)This requires you to do your part, go to work.
Recognize that the Father wants a personal relationship with you, and he desires that you want one with him. That means, you have your part in this. Do your part. Now, remembering that our Father is a mind, he, when communicating with the prophets did this in visions. So, when you pray to the Father remember, the words are for you to build a vision with. In essence, Tell-A-Vision to the Father. Let him see it in your mind. Be clear, get precise, aim for accuracy.
Now, in order for prayer to work, the the Father said, if you have anything against your brother go make peace, really. And you know as well as anyone, in this day and anger age, it's often unwise to do so, in person, that is. Follow the instructions below.
The Keys to the Kingdom
When one understands reconciliation to its fullest meaning, one understands forgiveness. Without reconciliation, forgiveness cannot stand. Reconciliation kills, on impact, all negative emotion. All of it, from your first breath, unto your last. The only emotion that reconciliation cannot defend itself against, is that of love. Love is energy, your soul is energy. So, if the adage, you are what you eat, is true, then the only thing feeding your soul is love and your soul will mature properly and become love in of itself, as we have been commanded, to become like our Father. Who, in of himself, is love. Vengeance is mine, said the Lord, because when you give him vengeance, he turns it into correction and saves his other child, if they will let him. Imagine how you are going to feel towards your enemy in heaven. If you can really imagine the truest form of that feeling, congratulations, those feelings have just transcended time and space. In essence, you asked, asked to see, that's prayer, you believed what you saw, you received it, you felt it. Again, congratulations, you just asked, believed and received. The Father creator loved us, reconciled us unto himself and forgave us. The steps matter. Unless reconciliation is first, forgiveness falls flat on it's face and dies. Forsake the parade. Go unto the Father yourself and take the walk of life with your hand in his. And consider this, with our Father, I truly believe it's, come as you are and I will change you as I need you. Start your commitment to him with these words if they suit you. Finish the statements. Here I am. I am willing. What is the truth? And you had better be sincere or it's going to fail.
(Anger. Let us deal with this for a moment. If you are angry about something that happened three weeks ago, it's because, you have a muscle in your stomach, you know the one, that is a chemical junkie. This muscle was present when that particular memory was created and stored. And it calls out that chemical signature, and forces you to re-live that moment, so it can feed, you have not been angry in a long time, you been duped. And now that you know, what are you going to do, fake angry? As soon as you begin to feel angry about anything from the past, stop it. Just take a look around you, and know nothing happened to you today, unless it actually did. And if it did, that's the only thing you can be truly angry about.)
(Do not invite the back stabber to your table, here. What they did matters, they, given the opportunity, will do it again. You have a date in heaven, see them there. Old people bring old habits.)
(Live in reconciliation. Do not leave that state of being.)
(Live in believe, of ask, believe and receive. This would have been better stated as, ask believe and be given. Recieving means to be given, therefore, it's not up to you to move beyond, believe. That's the Father's right and it also allows for recognition of his works and compassion. Also, Throw away the timer.)
(Regarding Faith. Faith is simply loyalty. Loyalty to the fact that you asked, loyalty to the fact that you believed. Stay loyal, stay faithful. Or one might choose to see Faith from the vantage point of, staying true.)
(As for the judgement room that we have all heard of, well, it may surprise you to learn that that room is in your head, and it's running constantly. We all have a piece of the Christ Consciousness in our minds. All of us. This is how silent prayer is heard. And anytime you do anything good or bad, your heart has an intention and emotional reaction. That intention and emotional reaction is what's being judged. And your judgement is handed down second to last breath. Because up until then you can change your mind about your intention to our Father. You can come to understand this better if you read the letters on the internet from nurses who have been presant for the death of those patients they have been charged to take care of. Worst death bed passings, you'll find them. And you will find good one's as well. This is why your sincerity in your commitment to the Father and to honesty with him are so very important.)
(Do not end your prayers with, Amen. To you, this has always meant the prayer has ended. And in that, your right. It's over. End your prayers with, So Be It. This way the energy moves into the future. And it's the translation of, Amen, but in words that, as you understand, have a whole different meaning.)
(Do not judge lest you be judged with the same measure. Meaning, when we judge we will be put in the same situation, doing the same thing that we were judging others for. Break all judgements through sincere intention. After all, people and situations change. So, let it be to you as this, "They are still alive." No further, for the Father has got this.)
(Anxiety/Stagnation is common place with our Father. He gives us time for what he is teaching us to take it's place in our lives and become a living part of who we are before adding more of his wisdom to our mindset. If it were not so with man, what we learned would become buried under the new knowledge and become worthless.)
What I have noticed is that when narcs act up in a small town like where I live, they have to destroy the targets reputation to protect theirs even though they are the aggressor.
narcissist type of people are playing with fire until Karma comes around
Exactly what I’m going through now, it’s un believable!!
@@hi-et1oq yes and karma does come!
Yes, very true. One of the reasons why I hate small towns😢😅
Karma is true too in small towns. I had some mean girls in my primary school hating me for some reason, probably because I was a good student. They proceeded to call me awful names behind my back, so I would hear it. I went to the principal and told her that I am being bullied by the older girls, mainly that one who is trying the most. She had to apologize in front of 2 grades. Later she called me that name again and I told her that If she does it again, I will not hesitate to go to the principal again. So she stopped.
Now after 30 something years I hear that she has MS....
Engaging with a narcissist feels like being an actor in a play where the script constantly changes, and you're expected to improvise while the narcissist remains the demanding director of the show.
Haha...well said....its always same old drama but the actors use to change constantly
That emoji looks like what the narcissist in my life looks like 😅
Holy 💩 so accurate
This is really hard if you are a young person and it’s your family doing this. You’d think outsiders would realize it’s highly abusive.
Yeah. No one cares. Therapists are clueless. You have to fix it yourself. Heal it yourself now and live a great life. ❤
In situations like these, it's ok to create your own family.
Especially when the outsiders have a lot to gain from the narcissist, they can’t tell them the truth. They would choose not to see the truth even when it’s very clear.
How young is young person???
Get out in the world, make your way, and don't look back! It may take time to realize how pleasant normal people can be.
Sad. Sad. Sad! The man I once loved and married did this, little did I know anything about narcissism. He smeared me so bad to people, while I was at home taking care of our marriage and making plans for our future. I was an emotional punching bag! These type of people are real and walking amongst us ready to pounce on an innocent human being. Lord, protect us from them.
Hard to not take it personally when there's so much mental emotional and physical damage
Yes especially when it’s the person who should love you unconditionally- the mother
@@mariaridler1831 Or your dear husband
and sabotage
I keep saying this.
They are expecting you to take it personally. It's a personalized attack, you are the target. Your loved ones sometimes are demons - not easy to accept
Im okay with them hating me, bit they also need to stay the fk away from me.
Thank. You.
Had to get a cease and desist from the cops to get my psychotic female neighbour off my back !
Exactly!
😂
Exactly!!! Bc if u choose to entertain the lies then don’t come to me being all friendly!!!
When the hate don’t work they will start telling lies ! By strangers who don’t even know u
My ex narc did that. People who got to know me told me they were astounded that I was not that person he made up these stories about. One woman who was the wife of one of his friends became my best friend. She said he painted me as a nutjob. He was removed from the home by the police 20 years ago because he was violent. I know they're called narcissists but it just feels like they're monsters filled with evil.
My mother did this anyway, since I can remember.
She doesn’t have many friends but the few I have met through the years would stare me down with daggers…even though I had never met them before.
This needs to be taught in schools, what these people do. Looking back, I can’t believe it took me SO long to figure out what was going on…what she was.
The word narcissist is used constantly but very few people actually know what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is.
That’s so true!!! I’ve never understood how ppl would believe a lie so fast and never question the person telling it!! Bc on my job this chick will just lie on me and ppl will believe it!! But when she lied on herself they never said anything to her!! Yet they chose to believe the lies told on me!!! 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
@@NetteJ Or how nobody even bothers asking either?!
I tell you, I suppose it DOES let you know who your true friends are (and how few we really have). Anyone who cares about us wouldn’t be so eager to believe things without even looking into it. The only people they can convince are the ones who WANT to be convinced.
@@supernova11711 that’s 1000% truth!!!! I’m very cautious with that word friend!!
Trying to get other people to harm me with the lies they tell!
What helped me was when a very intelligent, successful woman said “There are no secrets. Everybody knows.” Healthy people can tell when there is a problem and who the problem is. The narcissist fantasizes that everyone is rooting for them and their stories. But healthy people with virtues see exactly what is going on. They may not say anything. But the day I spoke I learned the truth. Let the truth set you free!
This. 💯
the key word is fantasize, when you don't understand what is going on, that's it
A true friend will never believe the stories a narcissist might tell them. If they do believe the narcissist, then that friend is not a healthy person to be around.
Same must be remembered re: birth relatives!!!
Truth
My own mother and family. Oh well.every year that goes by, I realize how mentally ill they are
mine too.Exactly
SOME PEOPLE BE LIKE THAT MOVE ON AND LEAVE THEM ALONE DONT GO BACK NO MORE ONLY IF U NEED TO BUT STAY ON THEM Ps AND Qs AND KNOW WHEN TO B LINE IT
seeing them more clearly means you are getting better and better
I stopped talking to my crazy family years ago. So much less pain and drama since.
Narcissist = Arrested Development (They Never Grew Up So They Cannot Manage Emotions)
I have a narcissistic stalker who acts like a grade 5 kid with his childish lies and tactics...so, sounds about right.......
@@somebodysomewhere2277 My situation is similar. My eldest sibling, my sister, is a toxic malignant narcissist and has also become my stalker to some degree. I’ve always felt that her behavior was very immature & not fully developed given our age difference. Aside from her other horrible character traits I thought it odd that she behaved the same way as an adult that she did as an insolent, sulking, bullying & vindictive teenager. Only now she’s more threatening because she has access to more tools; mainly computer technology.
It’s all about control. Narcissists constantly look to tear you down at any given time.
My wife would always catch me off-guard when she would emasculate me.
Every time you figure the narcissist out; they move the goal post.
There is no way to “out-game” the narcissist at any given time.
I tried to stay calm no matter what; my wife “always” found a way to get under my skin; no matter how much I prepared for her antics.
They believe in wearing you down, until they get a reaction. Sucked!
This is her biggest power to get emotional reaction out of u. If u really want to dismantle her , first u need to calm down from the core of your mind...
Don't give her favourable reaction. Stop let her mix abuse with humour. N make assertive confrontations without emotions 🤔
Exactly.
You have to force them to stay on topic, and to immediately stop the conversation/debate/argument (and walk away) if they refuse to.
Circular arguing, bringing up old/unrelated topics, and ad hominem attacks are unacceptable.
Observe don't absorb ~ effective but requires tremendous effort
@@safeeffective385So true,it really works...and gives some relief...The way they handle this definitely will show you how far they are on the narc scale.
The ones the furthest will most likely run away from you,they literally cannot take you standing up for yourself!@
From my observations they'll really miserable inside so to feel better they'll throw you under the bus.
In nearly 5 decades of monitoring and studying Narcissism, I've noticed their engaging in defamation campaigns against their targets is their most ubiquitous trait present in all of them
You just described the sweetheart of the administration at my job. She has done everything she could to get rid of those who are better than her or who stood in her way of getting the position she wanted.
Entire corporations have been brought down by one single sociopath or narcissist. Just look at what happened at Harvard and other Ivy League universities!
There is a real danger from the flying monkeys!!!! If they are blindly dedicated to the narcissist and believe the narcissist is truly the victim of their chosen target……the monkey can become weaponized. If anything ever happens to me send the cops to my former SIL.
Praying for your safety
How are you now my love. Worried about you after reading your message. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end.
Its really sick when you have to go through this with somebody you cared about
I know. The ultimate betrayal.
They’re users,cheaters, liars and thieves. As painful as it may be for you, you must exile these people from your life. Life is finite, life is everything and your life is too valuable to have any person drag you down, lie to you, cheat you or cause you harm in any way, shape or form in any relationship there must be respect, trust, honesty, open communication and reciprocity. These people are ‘black holes’ of emotion. They are ‘where love goes to die’. Wonderful and very insightful analysis. Great job..,.❤
I think they are sadistic and just enjoy being CRUEL. And stealing n plagiarising phone calls, etc
.
Omg...you deserve an award for calling this out. I have literally been trigger to the point of insanity because he keeps messing with my head. I had no idea anyone could try control me like this. So scary... thanks for guiding through this. God Bless you.
Narcissistic partner cannot tolerate strongmind of other partner and try to break into low esteem level and feel guilty
My mother did it my entire life and convinced so many flying monkeys that she destroyed me.
Now I just self-isolate and never feel good. I’m older than you, by a lot!
At least today people and professionals recognize it, years ago we couldn’t even identify it, let alone try to explain or describe it!
We were just faceless/voiceless victims!
Not taking it personally and not reacting are skills that take SO MUCH practice! But those skills will be your super power because it will strip away their power over you. Trust me it works. Great video!
Thank you 😊
They are ultimately cowards…well I figured out finally in my experience anyway after years of the bs. Also don’t give a f about what anyone thinks about me. I know who I am. Love yourself everyone ❤❤❤
I'm almost fifty-one years old and I learned about narcissism too many years too late. Everything that you're saying not to do I did and I'm still carrying the guilt and shame of my actions even though I'm aware now that I acted exactly the way she wanted me to. I was with her for well over two decades and married to her for thirteen years just being patient and hoping that she would change but, in the end, she showed the fullness of who she is. I've paid dearly for my actions, I lost everything, and the worst is that I've been alienated by my oldest daughter. Jealousy was the foundation of her attacks and it goes deep. She was jealous over seven year old me for liking a girl that I went to school with and that was way before I ever met her at the age of seventeen. How do these people even breathe without being jealous of others for breathing, too?
I’m older than you and I understand exactly what you’re saying. We never stood a chance!
❤️❣️
I firmly believe that when people do these manipulations it comes back to them many times over later in life. Nobody actually likes my mom. She doesn’t like herself. She will turn on my siblings eventually. Throwing temper tantrums is what she does best.
I have family members that are like that. They will provoke you then you tell them to leave you alone they will call you things like crazy and will make you feel you wrecked their world. Then they will tell and convince others you are the problem when in fact they are. These narcissistic people can dish out dirt on others usually for no reason but they can’t take it.
This last generation of moms is seriously ill and want us to pay for whatever they went through. It’s sickening to even think about it.
@@omnipotentworldwider5111🎯
Mine too. She causes so many problems whilst her daughters try to help her in her late years. I think it’s a projection of self loathing
@@omnipotentworldwider5111 wow! If this ain't the truth. Funny thing is: they shift blame and want "us" to be responsible for them. Like how ma'am? I have a life to tend to. I am so tired of these people, really am.
My ex was this. She literally cheated several times. I pulled up actual photos and screenshots of the messages and she said "I don't know what you're talking about, I didn't do any of that you're ridiculous". Then to the 6 guys she hasd in her phone she told them I was irrational. I allowed it. It was my fault but it is interesting that some people are wired for lying and manipulation.
There's a chair in he'll for these people. Been thru it with ex husband after 22 years and now ex bf of 3 years.... never again
They are shape shifters. Evil.😢
Narks get real happy over your pain _ they addicted to your pain _ you are choosen for your humanity _ they narky cant stand LOVE_ love is like poison for them.
Here's a great example for this. So I haven't talked to or seen my narcissistic kid's father for 6 months since I put him out, and the first thing he reaches out to say is, "where is all of my mail? I know I have mail coming there". Even tho he changed his address. You would think he would ask about the kid's but noooo, he wanted to start a fight about mail. I was calm. Calmly dismissed him, and went about my day. He really thought I was going to give him that reaction.
They can’t stand when you don’t give them the reaction their digging for. Keeping doing exactly what you’re doing!
@@jaslyn5501 thank you
Projection is their Greatest Secret Weapon No One's Talking About or People Confusing it with Gaslighting Until Now...Thanks
The worst part is that people actually believe them.
Also, the more right you are, the more the narcissists wants you to look wrong.
My ex ruined my life, turned my family against me and made it to where this exactly happened
If there's one thing this whole grueling experience taught me is that the more our self-worth lies on external validation, the more we will find ourselves facing situations where our character is being questioned. Think of it as the Universe's boot camp to learning to value yourself enough NOT to care about other people's erroneous opinion of you.
That being said, the Narc's devaluation campaign isn't for the weak. Regardless of how perfect you were/are, you'll be portrayed as a Jezebel, a liar, a thief, a bad mother, someone who never supported the Narc, a lazy bum, a witch (really), a mentally unstable person, a conniving hag, etc. And people WILL buy into it. Even people who know you. Even people who've seen you manage all aspects of family life by yourself for decades. Even people who've known the Narc since he was born. That's how powerful manipulation is.
What you said is beyond true. When I was having trouble with my ex-narc in the beginning years of our "relationship", his brother said some pretty unkind things to me as if I was the horrible person. Years later, I found out that my ex tried to kill that same brother by slashing him with a machete when they were young and back in Italy where they came from. Don't know how the laws worked back then because I don't believe he got in trouble for it. Finally, I think his brother realized how he was treating me and he stopped talking to him. My ex actually said he wanted to cut his head off at the time. The manipulation is in fact mind-blowing and maddening.
@@alabaster193 that's where i come yo learn and truly see that these people are sick and operate with spirits from satan himself. They are very dangerous.
The part I don’t understand is WHY do they believe them ??
@@ibabechanel They're great actors and liars. If people aren't living with you, they don't see who the abuser/narc is. Sometimes family just believes family as opposed to the person who is the outsider. Some people are just stupid.Often times, you don't even know theses lies are being perpetated against you until someone tells you.
@@ibabechanel The truth of the matter is that the devaluation campaign didn't start at the break-up/falling of grace. Narcs are master manipulators who've been brainwashing people and positioning themselves as victims since they met you. If the Narc is a parent, no one around you knows the real you as their opinion has been tainted by what the Narc says about you forever. Also, on a subconscious level, people know the Narc is a dangerous person once he/she decides you're a target. They will not stop until they destroy your reputation. And all it takes is to question their words. It takes a VERY STRONG person to see through them and go against their brainwashing.
I’m so exhausted. I’ve been ignoring and escaping this coworker and she’s now taking action to make me regret I ignored her. I lost the motivation to work on my assignments and I can’t sleep. I feel like I can’t do anything, not even relax. This evening she contacted me again bc I was ignoring the group chat and it ruined my evening, I was completely unable to watch my confort movie. I feel in constant danger. Tomorrow is Monday and I’ll have to face her again. I have no trust in my defensive skills, every time it ends the way she wants. I’m crying
That would explain why the more I've withdrawn over the past few years, the more they've hounded and harassed me, the more they've tried to cause me problems! I didn't care much for learning about this subject back in 2020 when I still didn't quite understand what was going on, but it sure has peaked my interest since then!
EDIT 1: I definitely failed on that last part about not being emotional, damn it being turbulent!
EDIT 2: I had to learn to validate myself a long time ago so that's not been a problem, but due to their interference in my life I ended up with psychological shock and lost touch with myself. For a moment I became easy prey and couldn't validate or defend myself.
You haven't relocated far away yet.?
@@dennisrobinson8008 Not likely, I can't afford it and this is the town I was born in. I can certainly understand the sentiment, however. My roots are strong and I'm not about to betray my language.
@@ASpootifulMind in your situation that's the best resolution. People go on to live great lives. If they remain they continue to be cheated by all the distractions of their families and ones in on it.
I've completely had nervous breakdown. My neighbors a whole family have turned everyone in my Apt against me. They have mocked me, threatened me. If I have an emergency, no one will answer their door. I am alone we God. I haven't healed yet.
Even if that's true, I don't care. Let them. I'm still going to be successful and help others when and where I can but I'm still sticking with my path.
dishing the silent treatment as they get more and more irate, I have that down pat from childhood, trust me.
When narky tries ro trigger you _ I started saying _ thanks for the advice thats very helpful.
I like that. They do that to tear you apart, but end up giving you "good advice"😂😂😂 It must piss them off so much. I have to write it down. I love it😊🎉
Father laughed " he'll will never amount to much" to his brother, and spent my whole life making sure he was right and everyone knows it.
Thanks so much for your videos.
I left a narcissistic relationship 8 months ago, and I think he was shocked I left. He even said once that he tried to tear me down in all different ways so I wouldn't leave. It backfired! It was sad and one of the most painful experiences I've ever had. At the time, I didn't know what it was and felt like I was going crazy because nothing about how he acted made sense.
These types of people cannot be compromised with like in a normal relationship, and this was hard to learn.
Good on you for leaving though and some of them do admit what they're doing, or did, especially if they drink and/or partake in other drugs then give away their secrets!
It was the case in my situation anyway, which made it easier to end the "relationship" and to not want to see him again, even though it was extremely painful, at first. ❤
Spoken word for word about my ex narc gf. 8 months no contact for me as well. One added bonus…she is threatening to send me to collections for $2000. Keep the faith…and keep moving forward.
@@patmahgroyn6868 Thank you so much. I'm sorry, that must be so frustrating. Hang in there.
@@cyndigooch1162 Thank you. God helped me leave I believe. I had only a tiny bit of self-respect left. I'm fortunate I have family whom I am still living with now.
Mine is/was an alcoholic and later tried to say he stopped drinking, but this is hard to believe. I had broken contact a couple of times.
It is so hard. I think I'm co-dependent. I tried so hard to please him but he was angry when I was dizzy for two months and hardly left the house, but I put up with his mistreatment for five years! What in the heck.
Narcissists are unable or incapable of self-reflection/empathy and this is a surreal thing to experience.
I'm glad you were able to get out. That's great.
I'm two months past divorce....your comment is my story also. He lied with such ease he believed it I think.
My step daughter has been trying this for years. I’ve always kept my distance and held my boundaries, which drives her absolutely nuts. When she can’t get a reaction out of me, she tells everyone I don’t love her, I’ve never been there for her… which doesn’t bother me at all. Every time she does it, I back further and further away, so now we’re to the point where we really don’t have a relationship at all.
I think some narcissistic spouses really are aiming to cash in on that life insurance policy.
what about when they turn your adult children against you with lies as revenge for leaving them? 😢
Oh yes, I'm dealing with this too. The whole house has turned against me... to the point she's got them thinking they can live freely under my care without owning any responsibility, while they make babies, disregard any boundaries I've set for the house, and dares me to do anything about it. This is the worse!!!
@@acbradley27 My ex is living with my adult children (who are in their 30’s & 40’s) in the home that I paid for but had to leave to save my soul & my sanity. Now for the court battle to get back what’s rightfully mine, while I try to ignore all the lies & slander. Narc’s are disgusting & will stoop to any level to try to destroy those they can’t control.
@@TheRebelGypsy So, I'm looking at yours and my situation for where I feel they all would win! I paid for this house and they are trying to take over with the control of my soon to be ex wife (as I am trying to muster up the courage to make happen).
In these decades of trauma, I've made some mistakes as well, which had been projected on me for years. Now I am living in guilt for my own mistakes, and this has recently played into her games from the beginning in making our 5 children living the home (from 13 to age 29 plus a step grandson and step granddaughter on the way) all feel like I'm the monster.
And for a long time my unhealthy thinking forced me to stay because I wanted to help the kids. This has backfired on me. I'm not a Saint, and that's what's she's tried to prove all along.
I've been going through this myself. Save yourself. The Entitled Narc adult kids won't change.
Leave the State, start a new life, get off social media, get used to being the bad guy no matter how many times your Ex betrays the grown kids....they always go back to him..... birds of a feather.
Run and don't look back. It hurts, but they are any army of hate against you. Save yourself.
@@yeswing10
Whoa! Your comment is spot on how I feel, and I haven't left the state yet. I say that as though I might or could leave but the truth is my health is not good. I've survived 4 primary cancers and chemotherapy a couple times, 2 major surgeries involving cancer and radiation one time. Now I have oxygen at home, and I am poor so it's next to impossible for me to move anywhere out of state or otherwise. My narcissist is my adult son who now at least lives 4 hours away. He is 45 now, and I know that he will not change either. I've even thought about changing continents, maybe move to Portugal. But since I live in the south of the US, it would be easier to drive south to and through Mexico to relocate so I can keep my car and my two dogs. My roommate is a great friend, 84 years old next month and I will be 63. We've shared a home for over ten years now, which has helped me feel safe and actually be safer than I would be living alone. My son has gotten very violent with me so living alone is out of the question. A dozen years ago he tried to kill me. Yes, he went to prison for that. Anyway, I am glad I came across this video. I like what I heard and think Stephanie will help me, as well as "conversations" in the comments. Thanks.
You are the parental voice we all need and didn't know it. 🥰🥰🥰
I been around people like that.
Hit the nail on the head! Wish I found SL 13 years ago. Time is our most valuable resource and i practice giving it sparingly to the narcissistic person who wants control and manipulate it for their benefit.
That's true..Undebiably,We are living in this world wit too much craziness, evilness and all sort of prejudicesness..you name it..its just too much....but still believe, in the end, it's always the truth Will prevail..
This video nails my ex-life with my DNA matches.
Thank God that I learned about No Contact!!!
Blood is not thicker than water, and disregard the lie “when the chips are down, the family will be there.”
The group in which I was born is poison!
This is sick and twisted a little bit criminal. Shameful!
Not a little bit, it is criminal. I say get proof and sue for defamation of character. Go for the maximum amount and if they can't pay, sell the crap to collection company making them pay even more. I am not the one to play with, make these ass hats pay.
Whats worse than one ex narc is when they get together with your misogynistic alcoholic father and enabler mother the triple whammy where you cannot show your face again but they hang onto your kids for dear life and pretend to be nice by buying them while your penniless
nobody could understand what i was talking about when i tried to explain this happening to me … thank you for sharing this with us… i’ve spent the last 40+ years trying to understand what was going on n why … hopefully the last few yrs will be peaceful n happy ones for me….
I was old before I was in a situation where I noticed that a friendly seeming person was smearing me at every opportunity. I even got in trouble for covering for them at work because the narc wanted me to share in their F-up. The guy still thought I'd volunteer to cover for him on Saturdays after I accepted partial blame for the Network Ops team not knowing who to call for assistance. So the boss was a chump in this situation too. I told my boss he got suckered and that I don't cover for lying pieces of crap anymore. lol
1. I really needed to see this video. 2. There is a narcissist I have been working with for years videos like this has allowed me to even know what was happening. 3. Now this narcissist has started ruining a married couple’s relationship i work with.
Oh my God you just described my daughter perfectly and you are correct for the person being blamed it is extremely painful.
Whenever dealing with a narcissist in any capacity: love: finances: Investments: children; don't take it personally "it's only business" to the narcissist😏
My daughter is a narcissist and everything you say is true
it took me many, many years to realize and understand that I grew up in a toxic family. Like you said, the narcissist will spoil everything they can about you to feed themselves off of your anger and grief by making you react. I had to learn two things. 1. do not react and 2. stay away from the narcissist and their flying monkeys. In my case there were plenty of people who stood idly by and did nothing when witnessing this from the narc, so you won't ever find help there. The other thing was the amount of enabling going on by the parental figure in this situation(and still does)between the narc family member and myself. I love and care about them, despite all of this, but I have to love and care about myself more. I am low-contact(for now).
I am dealing with exactly what you are talking about. I feel like I cannot keep fighting his smear campaign. I am exhausted and tired of constantly defening myself. I just want to go to bed and never wake up. It is hard to stay calm when you heart is racing and you are hyperventilating and breathing like it is your last breath. This is a result of years and years of narcissistic abuse and no one in your life understanding the impact of this.
they always have to find a way to piss in your plate. And make you hyperventilate. These people are so bad for your health. they say sorry without any idea of what they are doing to you. Energy suckers.
Folks, always keep in mind that anger is a secondary emotion, typically comprised of two or more of the following: embarrassment, guilt, feeling uncomfortable, disappointment, nervousness, fear, frustration, shame, ENVY, anxiety, frustration, and guilt.
They/we lash out in anger towards whoever we blame for "causing those feelings"... which is ludicrous when you think about it.
How we feel, is just how we feel and is nobody else's "fault" or problem but our own to contend with.
Agreed. It's empowering honestly. No one is "making" me anything.
I won't allow myself to be concerned about what people think of me based upon half the story. If the narrcisist goes to them and puts on a show that results in them hating on me, then these are people I can't lose any sleep over. Even if they're family. I simply add them to the list of flying monkeys with whom I go no contact.
None of these people understand that my life with the narrcisist was so bad that I'm actually happier by myself. I'm not going to waste my time pleading my case to those who've already made up their minds.
3:03 Nobody is under any obligation to accept you; on the other hand, you are under no obligation to accept them.
Best for the sense of self worth to always from within.
Banging video, Steph 🧸📸❤️🩹
Feels like my whole town hates me sometimes. It's really heart breaking. Great video, thanks.
I've been trying to leave this guy, he begs me to stay and calls me stubborn and says that I let the devil use me to leave him...he has his guy friend and family email me to tell me to go back to him...I've not responded but he won't let go.
Nobody hated nobody they are only perceptions, you can t hate someone u don t know
Ha'Satan is in control of them. That is the hilarious part.
It's not my truth that matters. It's The Truth, that matters.
Thank you, Stephanie.
If someone wants to hate me so be it keep that energy up because their hate motivates me!
It is my Mom and after six decade and am a wreck. My soul is sucked dry.
Wish there was an island where all the narcissistic people could live and an island for ppl who want and love peace and normalcy
Well narc island will be a continent, and empath island will be a mall
@@drivethruabortion280Could you explain ?
Yes, this has happened to me in the past few years. Unfortunately, it's a very effective strategy ruining the life of the narc's victim. It's crazy how blindly people believe lies and dirt about someone they hardly know.
Ikr ? I don’t understand it.
We need this education very early in life so we can solve or see a problem in front of us !❤❤
I'm dealing with the same thing too and I'm not surprised about it. These neighbors I have are acting weird and eerie for a reason.
The BEST thing you can Do when You realize You have been associating with Narcissist, Abuser, OR Predator is SEVERE ties with this individual PERMANENTLY So You can Protect Your mental & emotional & physical Health. Your PEACE of MIND & Personal SAFETY should be # 1 ALWAYS!!!!
I hate people like that they cause so much issues in my life
Someone on this channel shamed me, calling me an abuser for pushing a larger male when he was screaming obscenities in my face after telling me that I couldn’t take a joke and then picking on me for hours.
I thought this would be a safe place.
Sadly there are a lot of people who will say reactive abuse is no different than the original abuse that triggered the reaction. You just have to remind yourself that the people upset with you for your reaction, were not in your shoes at that time. In my own experience, I tried multiple ways of asking my abuser to stop their violent threats and get out of my face first before I ended up pushing against their stomach to make them stop. Sure, in hindsight, I can see that I shouldn't have done that, but I reacted the best I could at the time after years of abuse wearing me down.
Thank you.
My mother loves to tell my friends, family and boyfriend about the things that I’m not good at or make me look 👀 bad in public 😅
Bothers and their wives. 60 year old male. People aren’t as easily influenced and bamboozled as I thought. My brothers aren’t as popular or well liked as I always thought. Basically they only hang out with each other. I’m so glad to have finally figured this out. A positive forward journey for me. And THANK YOU for posting these videos. Incredibly healing and supportive.
😢Anyone that works in Health and Services - feel as if they're getting Punished.
My heart hurts listening to this, healing from trauma, Nothing a narc does makes sense, it’s like dealing with a childish dilution, yes hard not to take it personal. They will do all this even if they know they are the problem, by somehow hurting you and you reacting it makes you a part of it.🥵🥵
My father was a malignant narcissist who destroyed my relationships with my relatives. He died recently and now I’m dealing with daddy junior, my brother who’s completely unhinged.
Thank you Stephanie , though i will remain calm , about all lies and smears against me..., I really do believe , that this kind of false slandering , comes back in many forms & ways..., the long arm of Divine justice , handles it , in due process. " Pray for whoever slanders your name " , especially if you know its false.... Biblical passage : revenge is mine !..
I am experiencing this now, but I am fighting no back and I will fight back no matter what people think I will continue to
Thank you Stephanie.
You’re on the money about staying stoic and documenting everything. It’s not healthy to lament things not going to plan. You have to do the work that needs to be done to defend yourself and see it through to the end of the process.
I made through 2 plus years of a contentious divorce. In such a storm it’s important to know that if you stay humble and grateful for the blessings you still have things will work out, and you’ll be happy again and in a much better place.
I wish i would have known about narcissist 45 yrs ago. But, we didn't know anything about it back then. I kept thinking he would change. He died 1 & a half yrs ago. I've got nothing but bad memories.
Yup. The people I told about what he did, people couldn’t believe my husband abandoned me with no care, no money, etc. He even told my brother I was the problem. I have been isolated as fuvk.
Whoa! Sure enough! I went full "no contact" after divorcing my ex - knowing full well that any mutual friends were going to be painted a picture of how "awful" I was. I didn't even try to remedy that situation. I accepted mutual friends were part of the "no contact" decision, and I chose to sacrifice those connections. I just wanted out. She even tried her character assassination tactics with some of my close friends. They were shocked at first and realized that she's a narc trying to inflict revenge. Funny thing, over time some of the old mutual friends have learned otherwise. They've figured out she's a narc and that I wasn't such a schmuck - as her narrative would have suggested back in the day. (I really enjoy your channel!)
I've been in therapy for over a year. Even before the relationship fully ended. But it's even worser when you have to coparent with one.
A clever woman...has been my rock these past few weeks....a wise owl!
Right. My dad was like that and he was really good at where anyone who criticized his jealous bullying hed make them out to be the bad guy.
Could flying monkeys be wondering narcissists seeking supply?
This is the truth! Wish I had this information 5 years ago when this was actually happening. I did tell my side but it was very painfully emotional and not easy. I stumbled across narcissistic personality disorder when I was seeking help.
I knew a narcissistic guy and a hobby we had in common was the only link until I quit hanging out with him because he was so self serving ,self absorbed, always right, jealous if anything good happened to me and he always dug up old fights. So I can't really say he was a freind at all!
I am sick also i knew she was playing me and lying but i went along with it in the hope she may change and learn to love me but its clear thats not going to happen so i told her i know whats been happening she blamed me and blocked me so i am saying goodbye now and will go on and work on my healing. not to mention i already done like 9 months of crying so some healing has been done already.