Stupid Musician Texts IV | SpectreSoundStudios
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- These episodes just write themselves.
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By popular demand! The fourth installment of the "stupid texts" series, shining a fifty billion candlepower spotlight onto the dark underbelly of the music industry! Every screen cap here is real. Names have been removed to protect the stupid and the guilty.
Holy fuck. I've (with the band I was in at the time) only recorded at a studio twice, but in hindsight, no wonder the studio staff freakin loved us. We paid in full at the booking, arrived early to setup, had all our parts dialed and arranged beforehand, and for the most part kept our mouths shut so we could listen and learn. Not to mention we all had a sit down prior to mixing so we were all on the same page. I would never be a douchebag to the people I hired to record my music. In my mind, thats like being a dick to the person thats cooking your food. Not a smart move. Unreal. I've a new found respect for all studio professionals. We need to build Stupid bombs. Ahem.
Great job . You're the kind of you're the kind of musician I love to be around and work with I bet you even contribute lyrics and stuff too I love that creativeness and that fire that's cool dude you're real cool person
Just like being shitty to a tattoo artist! You’re gonna get some winged dingalings in your tattoo!!
Maybe a t-shirt that says, "I will be a rock star and win an oscar"
Ha! Quote of the century. :)
Helium Road So one wants to be Jared Leto?
Helium Road I'd buy that
+Helium Road I'd also buy this. I'd love to have it.
On* Oscar
I... I... I didn't know there was a channel for us engineers to blow off steam listening to someone who actually says what we're thinking... If I would've known about this channel a long time ago it would've prevented years of stress, in-session "blow ups", artist rants and "breakdowns" that scared the ever-loving sh*t out of musicians who show up to my studio expecting a handout... I wish there was a way I could share this video with every artist who's offered to pay me in beer. SMDH. I applaud you for doing this service for our community! LBVS!
+VapingWithThesis - LOL... yeah, I look at these vids in a similar way; a place for us sonic cookers to get together, share stories and laugh about the idiots that we all face eventually. It's comforting to know you're not alone. Although it's a bit disconcerting to find that this type of idiocy is so vast and widespread. It's like a global epidemic. I'm sure that somewhere in the Middle East there's an engineer right now who is telling a prospective client that he needs paid in actual money and not with the promise of an eventual 35 sheep. ;)
When I was in the process of forming my band, I had these exact types of musicians trying to contact me. One guy was like, "I only need 10 minutes and you'll be blown away" I sent me a few recordings and needless to say, I was not "blown away". I thought about sending that message to Glenn.
$275 for a full day and food and beer?! Where is this haven?!
EZYAJ92 And they are Canadian dollars (aren't they?) That means, it's even cheaper in USDs!
Ikr!??
Thatd be a good few tunes for a solo artist.
Yup
Playing, food and beer. Sign me up lol
Leaving an occasional comment whilst these videos play in the background. Get well soon Julie xx
Same here.
Food and beer that's fantastic.
+slippytiger
Oh, you have noooo idea :)
I loved that also.
I would hire that dude
Are you kidding me 275 a day with food and drinks! That's a friggin stellar deal man seriously
This was hysterical and just made my bday that much more awesome!
axeofcreation Happy birthday :)
+Dylan Eddies Thanks!
axeofcreation hey, happy birthday! =D
Justin Orprecio Much appreciated!
You've saved my day with this upload.
-Grateful Bassplayer who gave up on various drugs becouse of your videos.
The most amazing thing is the prices. 200/300 bucks is nothing. That is such a good deal, usually it is way more. I can't believe people complain about this. I would happily pay 275 a day. . . . People are serious about music, except not serious enough to actually pay money. I would anything for love, but I won't do that.
275 a day?! Heck, I work for near-minimum wage (hard times getting a job in the field I actually went to college for...) but I could save up for that and I'd happily pay that price on my own. You know... if I was younger and had the talent ;p But honestly, that'd seem like a price most local bands here would *love* to pay.
*Can't pay an already good price for his mixes*
*Makes "another" baby*
:facepalm:
Lol.
My favorite part about these videos is how high quality the audio is...
Gee I wonder why that is?
I don't understand how anyone can dislike you Glenn when you speak the truth and make us laugh while doing it! Love your channel and drum vids :) Thank you for making my days better every morning, you're the best!
I can't be the only one who thinks that being polite to your engineer is common sense and bringing a six-pack of beers for every session is a sign of respect,good manners and friendly/enjoyable behavior!
I had this rapper once who wanted me to bust my ass on his project. He seamed legit, and offered to pay me 2000 SEK (around €200 in today's money value). So he ran for it when it came to paying his bill. So I decided to end this on a high note and said: "Let me send over the final version, and we can split afterwards." He agreed. What I did?
I baked a version of each beat with 1 bar looped for the length of the songs. In 32kb/s. Not really though. I exported the beats in that quality. Then I exported the downgraded beats into 320kb/s. Dropped it over to him, and blocked him as he got them.
He was grand furious to say the least in his message to me on the same forum we visited: "Why the fuck didn't you send me the full beats you moron?" To which I kindly replied: "LMAO you get exactly what you pay for. No cash? No stash!" And blocked him there as well. I haven't heard anything from that motherfucker since then.
Hahahaha. "No cash, no stash!" Love it.
Thank's a lot Glenn, your last point will spawn more of another type of stupid text from musicians. When I was 16 I set up a label. I did this because local laws require a label affiliation for any band that gets airplay, which includes local stations and since the band I was in wanted to have a demo tape played at a local station to promote a gig I signed up for it. The same happened with a few more of my bands and there'd be other bands we'd play gig with who said they couldn't play their demo and asked how we got ours on, so they'd get on my label (and there'd be those 8 cent royalty cheques you could frame). I haven't done anything with it for ages and it's entire catalog consists of demo tapes from eons ago. But it's still listed along with an email address. And this address does get mails that ask for big advances on recording. Or for backing tracks, ghostsingers(!) a choreographer and 100k to shoot video from "the next Spiece girls"(sic). No one has ever sent a demo or a link to a live performance. The "Spiece girls" sent a badly photoshopped picture of them at least.
What's your point?
Telling bands that they will only make it if they get a budget from a label will only divert the stupid. Instead of asking an engineer to record, mix and master at an insulting rate, they will now ask labels for huge budgets, no matter what these labels could actually afford (and of course independent of whether they are any good. I have had the case of Elton Johns manager buying Freddy Mercury a piano as an advance brought up. That was at a time when Queen had already put out 3 albums and some parts of ANATO were done - but I get this from people who do not even have a demo). If I'm getting requests for advances that can reach 7 digits and my history as a "label boss" is getting 10 demo tapes released on actual tapes with 50 copies each, I'm pretty sure that kind of mail is more frequent at more serious labels.
Simon Gunkel Well, I wasn't quoting fiction. The bands with the budget are the ones that do "make it." At least these days anyway. I'm not saying I like it, I'm just being realistic.
Yea, but the bands with the budget aren't bands that just went in and asked for one, they are bands that convinced somebody who had the means to give them a budget, that they'd be worth giving a budget to. That generally means doing something that tells people that they might actually sell enough to make the investment pay out more than it was. You sell out a lot of live shows? That might do it. Your demo has 100,000 plays on soundcloud? You put up a kickstarter to finance recording and actually got enough backers? But people who ask to be recorded for free because "name recognition" and "networking" are deluded enough to write "give us 150,000$ up front and we'll write some songs to put on a demo" emails, too.
+SpectreSoundStudios the message im getting here glen is that putting 100% into the project is the key, that would include finance methinks?
Ah holy shit Glen. I log onto UToob for the first time in weeks and right there in suggested videos is this one right here. I didn't know of your existence before that moment. After watching this and all the viddys that came before it, I am now totally convinced that I am not alone in my jaded cynicism and use of daily, razor-sharp sarcasm as I confront my life as a musician / recording engineer / producer. Thanks for the support. And I'll gladly support you now that I know you're out there. Cheers!
I’ve only been to the studio for one project and I was so concerned the entire time that the engineer was annoyed with us for some reason. Just wasn’t sure what the etiquette in a studio was and didn’t wanna come off as a pain to work with for any reason. After watching most of these, I have to say I think I was probably one of the easier clients to work with lol. I paid on time, I didn’t drink too much, didn’t insist on using my amp. I can’t believe people don’t respect what you guys do. Keep up the good work man!
The Oscar part actually killed me. Knew the Trapt stuff was coming, after the comments section on your last video.;)
Broadway is actually a street in Nashville that's known for music lol
When I first started recording my keyboard parts, I can't remember how long I spent arguing that I had to do it in stereo because of the effects, and everybody kept telling me: "Just use the (mono) line-in on your soundcard".
Thanks to the arrival of the almighty internet, I realized the people I was asking for help on how to do it knew even less than me on the subject.
These videos always make me feel better about my customers. Not that they're much better. But a little. And i feel that's all i can ask for.
11:30 - Spot on, dead accurate statement about the sad state of music today. Here's to hoping that will change...it won't ever, but still...
Another great vid. Thanks!
The worst thing anyone dealing in the music business can ever say is: hey, if you work for peanuts or for free, we'll promise 'to get your name out'. Whether it's a gig or a recording session, just run. They are either going to rip you off or they have no idea what they are talking about.
I have absolutely no idea about recording, but your videos are so damn funny I cannot stop watching them. Thank you Glenn, good luck with your job.
4 years ago TRAPT was shitting on people for no reason and now, 2020 TRAPT is still shitting on people. Talk about consistency
"hmm i dunno man 100 dollars is kinda low, it is half my price after all"
"...... could you do 80?"
Great series, Glenn, thanks for bring us joy. But the guys clamming to be "the most intelligent band in the area" are still my favorite. Arrogance is the vilest form of stupidity.
This is the first thing I saw coming into my studio this morning! Keep 'em coming!
OMG I worked with trapt not too long ago at fish head Cantina. During sound check Chris takes the house's mic, unclips it, and holds it by the cord just swinging it like a cane. My father, (the A1) asks him to stop, so he just drops it on the floor and grabs the backup mic. Jokes on him, I'm stage hand and once he got off stage at set change I went and lightly pulled on the xlr leading to his mic. he had a beer on the coil below his stand and his phone charging next to it. He came back to nice Sam Adams soaked phone. Never got caught. Would do it 10,000,000 times again if I could.
Crazy to work in this field is an understatement. I have quickly found out that you have to be so far off the edge of sanity that everyone else starts to look and sound crazy in retrospect
Oh dear gosh, I so remember someone coming to me with so many mix revisions. He wasn't even paying, I just wanted to help someone out, be nice. But boy, did I send him around 5-6 different revisions that were discarded by him. He basically wanted to be able to fine tune his own mix to whatever he wanted. Basically, I was his own personal mixing unit. He would criticize a lot of elements (basically, he wanted to make minor tweaks, make me add or remove frequencies).
I literally just was done with his EP, I just told him that it would be best for him to mix the track. I hate the people that want you to mix for them, and then do tiny tweaks. It is frustrating.
Is it just me that always gets reminded of Penn Jillette when I watch these videos?
I thought I was the only one...
Me, too.
They are brothers.
Nightpacer1 I thought I was the only one
I liked this video the millisecond I saw it, absolutely love these!!!
You actually can win an Oscar for music. It has to have been written for a movie, but you can get an Oscar for your music.
Glen, Your musician texts are hilarious, and I am surprised that he was not expecting food and drinks with that twenty dollars too.
11:30 - 11:45 Aaaaaand now I'm depressed...great.
DeltaOracle257 I feel that :(
Hey, this may be tough but you should probably try to enjoy what you do (in this case the music) to its fullest. If you aim to go popular or try to make a living out of an arts area alone then it's not always going to work :P
*Like look at those Punk Bands when they started out, they enjoyed what they were doing :D (Especially 90's Grunge)
So, not only did I here that it's almost impossible to make it big from Gene Simmons because "Rock is Dead", I'm now hearing Glen tell me that "Only the people who are good looking make it big". To me it seems like people are telling me to give up before I even start. I'm not only trying to learn Audio Engineering, but I'm also trying to improve my guitar playing. The last time someone told me that I would never be able to do anything was when I was much younger and an old friend of mine who became more and more of an asshole as we got older. He starts insulting me and he says "You'll never play guitar." Well, now I'm proving him wrong, one note at a time. BTW, Slipknot aren't exactly what you call "good looking" and they're everywhere. Even though a girl in my high school said they were good looking. If that's the case, then I should look like Benedict Cumberbatch to people.
Oh, and Metallica weren't good looking either. In fact, Sebastian Bach pretty much said that they were ugly as hell, but he still wanted to buy their album. Metallica is one of the most successful if not, the most successful metal band ever.
Go get it man! Who else gives a shit what YOU look like. Enjoy yourself, do what YOU do. Those bands don't take shit and they don't throw it back either. They make the haters look stupid :)
Meryl Streep is a fantastic musician , Kanye won best actor 37 times
When "Sheer Heart Attack" is probably the only album that budding engineer has listened to, and he had the guts to try it. Credit where it's due, he's got confidence.
I once recorded a country group full of people. I thought the session was going to include one guitar and vocals. come to find out it's two vocalists, upright bass, mandolin, fiddle, acoustic guitar and electric guitar. So I decided to record them live. I showed the recordings to a man in the Nova Scotia Country Music Hall of Fame and he said not even a million dollars worth of equipment could save that session.
You do know that Broadway is a street in Nashville that has huge music events all the time, right?
Love the channel!
5:43 "K" "Thanks :) "Die" LMFAO. Oh. And keep your phones away from your bandmates!
It's kind of crazy how much I can relate to these kind of BS client moments...I work as an illustrator/animator, and although it's a different field, with different skills...The type of BS is all the same...people not wanting to pay, backing out of projects, endless revisions, people thinking fixes are "easy" because it's all digital now....the list goes on.
Glenn, even though we're in different careers, I feel your pain.
I’m sticking to playing Accordion with my folk duo. You might make more money than me, but I couldn’t put up with the stupid shit you have to. You work far too hard for not enough recognition. Love your channel. Especially stupid musician texts.
Thank you for all these videos man! This series, but also the informative series about recording. I really love them!
I subscribe and like everything. I really hope you are enjoying your everyday life in your awesome studio :D.
BTW: I actually very much like the screams and vocals of the singer you showed at 7:02! But i guess he puts effects over them though. I think this is a picture from 2015 though, so although he cups the mic like a dumbass, his singing sounds good.
Tough I really love this series I do think I'm curious how many musician are actually good guys, like a Awesome Texts from Musician to Engineers,
mostly to restore my faith in musicians
I wish I had the messages from several bands here in Iowa from when I had my studio going a few years back. Iowa, where every single band "knows" someone in Slipknot that says they are the next big thing from Iowa and I should record them for free because I'd get points when they get signed. I had quite a few of those and declined all offers on this glorious deal. None of those bands are still in existence today.
Also, the drummer that got drunk before 10 am on his main tracking day, while I was setting up, then sent me several long ranting texts about how his parts were bad and it was somehow my fault. It was bad enough the songs were not written when they came in, but he had to be drunk too. Dumb scrawny little bastard, I wanted to pick him up and throw him like a lawn dart. Still got my money though!
Kyle Christensen haha, I've had the same thing happen regarding a drunk drummer. Had a band book out the studio for a full week to do some recording. Band shows up the morning of day 1 and we start setting up the drums and mics and start working on getting the sounds where we want them. Unknown to me, the drummer snuck a bottle of gin into the live room with him. We get the drum sounds we want and get everyone else setup for some scratch tracks and start tracking. Halfway through the third take of the first song, drunk drummer falls off the back of the drum stool into the wall behind him taking out a portion of the acoustic tiling. Was funny for about four seconds.
Any glimmer of regret that I had about changing careers and leaving the music industry behind is washed away when I watch these videos.
Hey Glenn, thanks for the tip on mono vocals! I had absolutely no idea about that!
so glad you made another one of these, keep them coming! im sure the material will keep on coming in lol
I always feel bad for the first studio guy of this video, who gives free beer and food in a studio!! Thats like the best way of treating your costumers!! I hope he keeps doing it!
I also like people that are trying to help and end up ruining my cables by winding them around the mic to "help me to put them away", or ruining my wireless mic's by inserting the battery wrong or screwing the cap on too tight.
I'll be heartbroken when I run out of episodes of this to watch.
FUCK YES I was hoping there would be a part 4 ! fuck yeah I love the "stupid musicians text"!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH GLENN!!!
that stupid engineer text made me laugh. I am new to recording (and due to some problems with my PC I won't be able to record until I will replace it, next month)
whenever I have a problem myself, I thank god that there is google that will gives more answers than you need to questions you didn't have before you started googling...
I fucking love these videos. great job man!
Grammy = Gramophone Awards
Gramophones play music
What the fuck was that guy thinking
I'm from Spain, and not sure if the correct way to write "their engineers" (the engineers of them) is "there engineers" or if you are waiting for pissed off musicians to notice it and still have fun about them in a way I cannot figure out on my own, thanks :) Love the videos!
7:03 that's Matty Mullins of Memphis May Fire (great band). I saw them live this year and even got photos, I'm sure he wasn't singing while he was holding the mic like that. I actually recommend checking them out if you havnt heard them already.
Same problems for graphic designer !
Great video, i can't wait for the next one.
Sorry for my english.
Best regards
@4:23 a wisr mixing engineer once said" you never finish a mix, you just give up on it" so true
You should always tell your client that you're going to confirm with them again the next day. This way you don't get stood up.
I love how you pronounce all the misspelled words as they are. 🤣
Matty Mullins is a great vocalist (Memphis May Fire). Saw them at Warped Tour.
I just have to say I love how you literally try to read what's typed.
haha, hahaha, AH HAHAHA, the first guy is a musician!? Or just a major troll? *a Oscar is what musicians get, not a grammy* favorite moment, hahaha, and I thought learning about both Film and Music was tough, then comes that guy.. Wow, loving these Stupid Musician Text episode :)
This is sad but you make it sound hilarious man. Thanks 4 sharing and best wishes 4 you and your business. Bands should understand the huge difference a good recording can do for them. Engineers and producers make the difference.
Yes!!!! Best series on RUclips!!!. Keep it up man!
hey Glenn. funniest vid up to date XD
question though . your monitors in the back. do u have them mounted inside the wall to eliminate any bass bouncing back while u mix? and would there be any vibration of the wall where the monitors mounted causing unnecessary vibration?
The last one was gold and cold. Keep it up Glenn¡
I know one of these days, I'm going to build up the courage to buy that cupping the mic shirt. AND wear it while performing. lol.
Also, these texts are always hilarious and sad.
Please keep this series going, is soooo funny
I love the metalhead style Bacon painting you have in the background. Truly nothing more fuck off them Bacon's style of art.
It's Derek Hess.
+SpectreSoundStudios yeah sorry the way I worded that was weird. I meant "style of bacon". The curved block colors of the background, the sharp lines cutting through the figure. Sort of like "Three Studies of Lucian Freud" or something. Most check out more of Derek Hess. :)
Great, realistic insight. Love your direct approach :)
Broadway is the street in Nashville where a lot of the music clubs are. It's the main drag essentially
They just keep getting better.
Hey Glenn, great stuff and keep the messed up titles going.
It's always nice to read the comments.
Man, these texts are surreal...the 1st one "I wanna win an Oscar"...LOL!
Uuuuhhh. Uuuuhhhh. 24!!!!!
In the name of Patrick Star😂😂 the binge continues
"Nobody wants to pay you for your work." Sounds like any job!
men yo turn internet hate into something educational, great work!
These "stupid texts" videos really crack me up. Imagine going to a car dealership to get a $50 oil change and asking them to do it for $5 for you because it would "get their name out there and build business relations."
It's like so many musicians still have a child's perception of how the world works.
I sincerely love your simple "hourly rate" drum beat. I figure "$40 an hour" is about right. Including time reading texts. It's what attorneys do.
If I get into a studio, I'll respect the engineer. I'll play tight, but I pay the engineer to make my tight playing sound good.
At one time I had 40K comments and RUclips would not allow me to comment or like or anything. I do enjoy your videos!
i know you go hard on some guys (mostly cause they're jerks), but you are sincere and honest about your trade. i love it.
Haha I love the trolling with texts to "there" engineers.
Wow man, I am just floored over these. You would think that individuals that constantly get the 'play for exposure' thing from club owners and festival coordinators would understand that people should be paid for their craft.
you should talk about some of the gigs you've had in life? I played at a biker party ta celebrate the end of Summer at a nudist colony very hard to concentrate try to top that one haha,
cool videos keep them up.
Hey Glenn I absolutely love this channel and your videos are hilarious. My question to you is: (based on your own experience and knowledge in the industry) what kinda things really help an artist get noticed and eventually label attention? Excluding the basics i.e. Kick ass music, a good image, high quality recordings etc.
Thanks man.
xx
+Robert Langford : Play as many shows as you can, and bust your ass building up a good regional fan base.
Sell enough of your self-funded recordings, and the labels will pay attention.
Glenn I have not tracked live band's in a while now, just mixing and doing music for TV and film, and I have a amazing mixing setup, probably the best I have ever used, I don't miss tracking at all , what headaches it was working with band's, dealing with fights, tardiness, payment, schedules, now I just do when I need to, but I have found out that the TV deadlines are much worse, sometimes I have to remix or replace tracks in hour's, really!!!
Funny how cheap musicians can be. They don't understand that the guy behind their success is the engineer who is always the invisible guy. Respect to you sir. I have been a session musician for quite sometime now and I've never had any issues with the engineers because they are important and they work really hard.They know best. \m/
Ad at the start: "Which (VST) plugins would you get if we gave you $50?"
hmmm, let me think... about 1/100th of Miroslav Philharmonik, or 1/50th of any other, I guess...
*Looks at his guitar. Immediately regrets being part of this ilk.*
I like that the typos and abbreviations are being read outloud
LOVE THIS SERIES! KEEP MAKING THESE KINDS OF VIDEOS!
That first guy seemed to be stuck in a revolving door of idiocy.
11:23 Love the counter-sunglasses
Wow I really want to go to school for audio engineering but your whole into just really makes me think about it
Everything factual you need to know is online, so study all info you can find then find a studio and intern for free to observe the recording process. (or just do cheap community college) Buy some of your own gear and just start recording people. Best way to learn. No one cares if you have a recording degree, it's about what/who you have recorded that counts.
"I think you failed your English test" .... no...I think you failed your troll test.