Successful Strategies To Wean Our Toddler From Nursing After FAILING
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- How we weaned after FAILING HARD first
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It has legit been almost 3 weeks since we nursed!This can be a super emotional time for a lot of Mama's, I was ready.
It took 4 months to wean my first daughter from the time we night weaned until she was completely weaned from nursing.
My second has been a different story. Some of it is due to the fact that this time "50/50" has looked like Dad gets the toddler, I get the baby.
This means I've been the only one to put her down, basically her whole life... via nursing. I started out early Dec cold turkey and it worked for a couple of days, then she was skipping naps and potesting for HOURS.
Turns out she was sick…She became a little obsessed with nursing so I just did a hard rest and decided we'd try again in a week or so.I was being way to ridgid, this was going to be a process and that was okay.
I didn't have an exact plan but this about what it turned out to be:
MAKE SURE THEY'RE NOT SICK and if they do get sick, stop and start over when they're healthy!
1. Bandaids: I used bandaids on one nip and that one was officially out of commission because she really did make a small lesion on it. I showed her and she helped me put a bandaid on! make sure you change these bandaids, mine smelt NASTY after a day or two bc I was still lactating a bit
2. Books: The three books that I used were:
Sally Weans from Night Nursing: amzn.to/3vVLK3Y
Nursies When the Sun Shines: amzn.to/3SbAisw
My Milk Will Go, Our Love Will Grow: amzn.to/3SrmjPA
3. TALKING: We talked about it a lot a couple days leading up going off what the book said. Babies nurse but when you get bigger Mommy's milk will go away, but we can SNUGGLE!! AND HUG!! AND KISS!! And have a squeezer
3. TALKING/Role Playing: We talked about it a lot a couple days leading up going off what the book said. Babies nurse but when you get bigger Mommy's milk will go away, but we can SNUGGLE!! AND HUG!! AND KISS!! And have a squeezer.
She also would try to nurse her doll and I would ask if she had milk or if her milk was gone too!
4. BREAK THE SLEEP ASSOCIATION: with a squeezer (Dentists don't hate me):Instead of going and laying down to nurse immediately to sleep, we first picked a couple of books and nursed in a chair. Then when I finished the book I'd ask her if the milk was gone, she'd say yes and I'd say "when you're ready, let's have a squeezer and snuggle!" Eventually she would.
5. Maintain for a week or more!
6. Talk about it day before/ day of that we were going to stop nursing. We taped off both my nips in the morning and talked about how we weren't going to nurse anymore but we would have squeezers, and snuggle and read books!
SHE DID AMAZING.
Now her sleep is alllll out of whack but we'll take one victory at a time!
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00:00 We're done nursing!!!
00:12 Hey Shayla Intro
00:41 Thought prompt books!
01:20 It has been SO HARD weaning my 2nd
02:07 We needed to break the sleep association
02:46 Strategies for gently weaning: 1. NOT JUST NUTRIENTS
03:14 2. Set a timer
04:02 3. Don't offer don't refuse
04:35 Multivitamin for kids
05:55 I tried weaning cold turkey
06:33 4. Bandaids on the nips
07:23 Engorgement?
08:23 She was dropping naps
08:52 BOOKS THAT YOU MUST GET
09:37 HORMONES GO NUTS
10:23 ROLE PLAY!
11:03 How we stopped nursing
11:27 Falling asleep is taking FOREVER
13:12 The timeline
14:42 It's hard when they get sick
15:08 Shes more snuggly
15:30 My Advice on Night Weaning
16:03 It took us 4 months!
16:34 6. Non breast feeding parent takes over bed times
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I cannot thank you enough for sharing your experiences. The weight of expectations that family, friends, random people have put on me as a mother has felt absolutely suffocating sometimes, and moms like you sharing online and creating safe and open environments have allowed me to not feel crazy and alone ❤
I weaned my 15 month old as I’m pregnant again and it was getting sore. I had dreaded stopping for so long. The last time was incredibly emotional but after that it’s not been as bad as I thought. I still miss it sometimes but he’s fine and he still loves his cuddles. The best part is I can sleep with him without him being constantly latched. It’s daunting but it will be ok - to anyone else worrying about weaning x
I have a 7m old “dependent little monkey” that exclusively contact naps and nurses to sleep. Nowhere near weaning-ready, but loving this video anyway.
My 2.5 year old has just stopped nursing this week on his own! Baby arrived 2 months ago and knowing he had a nursing time at bedtime too really helped the transition for him but I wasn’t sure he would ever give it up as long as he sees baby nurse during the day! I’m shocked!
We read Booby Moon for quite a while 4 months ago when I wasn’t sure if I would wean before welcoming baby and although I never went through with the ceremony, he was fascinated with the book and it added such a beautiful ritual to this new stage.
My 3 year naturally weaned about a month ago....We nursed for 3 years 2 months and 19 days!!! It was a wild ride for sure
😂👏👏👏👏👏
When you say naturally weaned, can you describe how it looked? I have a 2 year old who's faaar from losing interest
@@snezanaobradovic9978 From personal experience,2 is young to wean naturally. I first night weaned. We were nursing before bed and not until morning. Then he naturally only started BF at nap time and bedtime. Then those become only 2second comfort feeds so I knew he was done. He was upset for a bit but I explained there was no more milk left. Now he just comes up and hugs my boobies haha fond memories for him I'm sure
How often were you nursing when your 3 year old naturally weaned? Mine is almost 3 and I still nurse 3x a day, I’m nervous because he nurses to sleep for nap and I don’t want him to drop naps yet 😭
What does naturally ween look like? My daughter is 2 1/2 and is a boob monster I also have an eight month old and so I’m really ready for the older one to wean.
I really appreciate your parenting & birthing practices. It’s so refreshing to hear from another mom who has similar views. And we’ve been pregnant 2x together 😁 like I just want to be friends at this point lol
I'd just say that the bandaid tip could be a bit stressful for some children. The idea that they've hurt you and that you're implying it's their fault that the milk has to stop isn't a very happy and gentle message.
I'm sure your daughter is fine but a bit of caution in giving that as a strategy for others.
Congrats on making the transition and supporting your daughter through it x
Thanks for your honesty and just being real that everyone's journey is different.
My son just weaned after 2 years, 7 months, whew! It was a very gradual process and I found myself wondering if I would ever be done 😂. We were down to one nursing session to go to sleep once he dropped his last nap. Then one night about a month later, he snuggled in next to me after talking about our day and fell asleep. The next three nights were the same. He asked again after a week so I let him snuggle into my chest and that has worked since. Such a fascinating ride!
The advice not to be rigid is great, so much of this is a process. And if you can prepare them for it, you're all so much better off!
Great tips! I was lucky with my now 15 month old that weaning was pretty seamless. I started weaning at 12 months because I became pregnant with our second and bf just gave me the ICK. It took us 2 months. She never once complained. It's probably a personality thing 🤷 I also just redirected to water, snacks and cuddles. I had night weaned her previously at around 7 months so that probably made it muuuuuch easier!
My daughter weaned herself at 22 months old, we were down to nursing session right when she woke up in the morning. It was purely for comfort and habit, but one day she woke up and didnt ask for it, and I didn't offer and the day went on just fine. This continued on for a week, and then she woke up one day and asked for it, and I just told her "mama milk all done, but we can have lots of snuggles" she got upset for like 2 seconds and then asked for "milk cow" lol and that was it. She weaned herself from all the previous nursing sessions the same way, just stopped asking for it.
I was waiting for this video!!! Thank you 😆
I just want to say, this is the best weaning video I have ever seen. All of the others I've see are All pretty similar and don't really offer realistic or FUN tips! I successfully weaned my 2 year old while we both had covid, I felt a little bad as he was sick but him being on me and swapping and changing from boob to boob just gave me the ick, I had to stop. He's been book free for about 3 weeks now.
I needed this. Thank you.
Congratulations! These transitions can be so difficult! I weaned my 2 year old son (who tandem nursed with my baby daughter) in November after I got a nasty cold and my body couldn’t keep up. It was actually a pretty easy transition, thank the lord!
This was really helpful, thank you!
Such a helpful video!❤
Truly, patience was our key to success. We did ours so slowly and gradually, it wasn't even a thing. I don't think we had a single meltdown about it. We cut out bottles first. For that, my son was starting to cut back anyway. He was taking 2, 8 Oz bottles at daycare and had started only drinking 6 Oz of the 8. so we cut back to 6 Oz, then the next month we cut down to 4 Oz, then the next month we went down to one 4oz bottle, and the next month we cut out bottles completely. Then I adjusted my work pump times (we were at 4 hours between feeds already any way), so I just stretched it an hour per week I think until I could go the whole 8 hours without pumping. Then we started cutting out nursing sessions. Again we cut down monthly and I started with the sessions he asked for the least. We mostly nursed as "hi's and goodbyes" as I called it. When he woke up/before we left the house in the morning, before nap, when I got home in the evening, and to fall asleep at night. The crazy first up in the morning session was the first to go. Then the next month we took out the getting home in the evening session. The next month we took out the naptime session. And the last month we took out the falling to sleep session. And honestly that last session only took like two weeks to break him of. He wasn't even really interested by the end of it. All in all we started weaning around 11 mo and he was fully weaned by 19 mo. A few times he would ask for "boo?" But I would casually redirect to a snack or other activity and there was no fuss ever. And because it was so gradual, my body just naturally adjusted. There was never any issue with engorgement or anything. All in all, if you can be patient and take it at your kiddos pace, that seems to be the best method for success.
🙌🙌🙌
Did you experience any post weaning baby blues? Or since you did it so gradually did you not have that hormonal response?
Shayla, you are hilarious°•°
Thank you for the education ♡ and sharing your wisdom.
Shayla, I am glad to have you a few steps ahead of me with this because weaning is tricky. We are going gradually but the hormonal shift is still alarming. Of course, the holidays and the shortest, coldest days of the year aren’t ideal times to change the hormone balance in my body, so I should have waited. In short, lesson learned: Mom’s mental health and external factors that would affect that are also points of consideration for when to start weaning.
GREAT point!! And I’m sorry it’s been so challenging hormonally. That’s a wilds ride, and you’re right with the weather/holidays it compounds. I’m glad you can see that! But it’s still such a challenge😥 hoping you come out of it soon🫶
I can’t with you 😂
YOU’RE THE BEST SHAYLA!!! 💕
Very helpful video
Dang Shayla! You're on my level again! Literally looking up "weaning co sleeping baby" 😂
Thank goodness, I got on RUclips looking for this video specifically 😅
🎊Congrats! The strategies you mention are really helpful. It is really hard to wean if your little one is sick, it makes sense to leave weaning to when they feel better and when the time feels right.
My now 2 year old nursed until about 1yr 3months. I got pregnant with my second and dried up 😅 she wasn't happy about it but we made it and she loves her sippy of milk now!
Needed dis, I’m nursing my 21 month like you described nursing your second, and my 7 month old all the time damn time
I am weaning my 20 mont old. Nurses to night and couple of times at night. I need to be away for the nights soon, but my toddler still is more attached to me than my husband. I am going to try pouches and band aids 🙏 lets hope it works with out crazy crying. Thank you for sharing!
For those of you who are scared to nurse to sleep because you are afraid they won’t sleep on their own, I have heard from a pédiatre that it all depends on the baby. For example, I sometimes nurse to sleep my 10 months old but he is also able to fall asleep by himself.
You mentioned wanting to still be able to give her antibodies, coming from a nurse and also an exclusive pumper, not of my choice it’s just the way that things happen, you can still pump and give your baby antibodies. Giving them a kiss on the head or them sneezing on you or them kissing you or anything where their skin or saliva come in contact with you, your body recognizes that and will produce the antibodies for them as well. Just to give you peace of mind if that’s something you wanted to pursue.
Thank you for this!!!!!! You’re so right!!! Idk if I could get anything now but worth a try
Ive tried it all and we are slowly nightweaning.
I was avoiding that because of the fear of the hormonal rollercoaster.
But then she stopped napping and i was in burnout.
Now we pack a lunch box to bring in the bed, lol
Bandaids were helpful in breaking the nurse to sleep but it took 2 boxes of bandaids and those things are not cheap if you get the ones w characters. My daughter put the bandaids on me each night and it was a clear and helpful message. Turning 3 in a couple weeks and shes my one and only so not cutting off day time nursing but glad to get some sleep after years of deprivation. Still cosleeping and she became a snuggler.
I have to tackle night weaning again too. 5th time for us, have been nursing for 10 years out of 15 years, on and off, and hands down, night weaning is the hardest!!
@@kindestmilk wow thats amazing and impressive!
@@autismenlightenment thank you 😘
For different kids... snuggling is the worst. I have 2 snuggly kids out of my 6 and they were fine with snuggles instead of milk. My other 4 however, snuggling and closeness made it 10x worse for them. They would completely freak out.
Same here! My husband said “ can’t you just lay her next to you in the bed in the middle of the night and not feed her?”
Umm no, she will have a major meltdown since she’s used to me feeding her in the bed at night. May work for some though! Mine is 16 months and we are starting to work on it but it is so hard!
This sounds like my boy. He will absolutely lose it if it’s available and he doesn’t get milk. Dad can put him to bed no problem, so that’s probably the winning strategy for us.
My daughter is 9.5 months and I’m thinking I want to start weaning soon. These tips are so helpful! My daughter has been combo fed since birth (like 75% breast milk and 25% formula), so I’m hoping the transition won’t be too difficult. I recently realized that I don’t know how to put her to sleep without nursing, lol! My husband is great with her though, thankfully.
My son is 9 months and I nursed him exclusively for 6 months and then started to replace some nursing with bottles and he also started eating. I slowly replaced more nursing sessions with bottles until it was only nightnursing at around 8 months. For around 2 weeks now, he does not seem interested in nursing. When I put him on the boob he does not really drink and I feel like he now prefers the bottle.
My boobs don’t even fill up anymore like they used to even 1 month ago and I think I nursed him for the last time yesterday and see what happens.
I think, if you gradually replace nursing sessions (one at a time over a few days) your baby and your body can adapt easily. Maybe drink a cup of sage or peppermint tea for reducing milk (peppermint really helped me). And I say that as someone who had clogged ducks biweekly and mastitis 2 times due to too much milk!
As for falling asleep: I tried what my partner did for putting him to sleep and extra cuddles (and a pacifier) and it took a few nights and then I did not nurse to sleep anymore.
Maybe that helps. ;)
😂 the bandaids on the nip!!!
Hello Shayla, thank you for the video!
How is it going with the 5 am feeding? Did you offer her water or something else? How did you settle her?
A squeezer and snuggles. Some morning it works other mornings it doesn’t
@@heyshayla thank you 🙂
Did Esme start napping again? I’m currently pregnant with #2 and my almost 3 year old nurses 3x a day still. I’m most nervous about dropping the nap time nursing since that’s the only way he falls asleep for it and I need him to nap 😭
Any recommendation on books/podcasts on how to navigate bed sharing? 5 week old here and it’s rough! 😢
Google “heyshayla podcast cosleeping” and la leche league
Sweet Sleep by La Leche League is fave of mine.
My milk never really came in, but we still struggled with bottles for a long time. I'm still here for the parenting advice though. :)
My heart is a granola mom but my comfortable reality is a formula, independent sleep, "hate babywearing" mom 😂
😂😂👏👏👏 I support it lol
What are the squeezers you use?
We just use refillable squeezers with apple sauce. They’re here: www.amazon.com/shop/heyshayla/list/1DJU16V3M5C2D?tag=onamzshayla04-20&ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ofs_mixed_m
I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO A RAVE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What’s a squeezer?
Like the apple sauce pouches
It might just be my sleep deprived brain but I can't find where to order your thought prompt book? 😅
Hahah heyshayla.com/shop that’s good to know its a little confusing!
After weaning, did she slept throughout night ?
No but she did sleep longer and better
You’re a beauty
My daughter is 2.4 yrs old. I want to wean her off
First!
If you stopped breastfeeding much earlier, you wouldn't have been struggling with it at all. Toddlers are way too old for that.