Having A 3rd Baby: MY BIGGEST FEARS 🥵
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- Having A 3rd Baby: MY BIGGEST FEARS 🥵 #thirdbabyontheway
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For some reason, having a third baby is bringing up a little more anxiety than my second pregnancy did!
These are some of the fears I have with having 3 kids:
We're hitting a stride and things are soooo fun! I'm worried my capacity is met, this baby will not be born in the Spring so I'm worried this baby will get more sick becuase the girls will be in school. I'm also worried about going into winter in Minnesota with two kids... yes I'm talking about 9 months from now. I still have no idea how we're going to sleep/co-sleep, what I'm NOT worried about is STUFF!
Whats going to get me through it ALL? MINDSET BABYYYY
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00:00 Hey Shayla Introduction
00:37 Having a 3rd baby!
00:50 We wanted 3 but HOW?!
01:28 I think we're done with 3... maybe.
01:58 MY BIGGEST FEAR Having 3 kids
04:51 ILLNESS with a late summer baby!
06:28 Hiya Health Discount!
07:20 Dividing time/ attention/ ARMS
08:24 Perspective Shift!
09:14 My girls will love having a 3rd baby!
09:48 I'm not bringing a 3rd baby into the current situation
10:18 Worried about the MN winters with a 3rd kid ALREADY🥵
10:44 Traveling with a baby IS THE BEST
11:20 I think this will be our last baby
12:05 The 1st year is the hardest for me!
12:36 We're hitting a sweet spot... mostly
13:10 Getting in the car give me anxiety
14:20 MINDSET WILL BE EVERYTHING when having a 3rd baby
15:58 What I'm NOT worried about!
I have 4 kids pregnant with my fifth. My advice: do not do any permanent birth control measures until your youngest is like 4+ years old. Life changes so much once your older kids are a little older. Your life will change a lot in the next 18 months. A five year old is so very different from a 4 year old. Look around online and make a list of things you want to teach your 4 year old to do before baby comes. She can probably learn to unload the dishwasher, start laundry, sort clean laundry into who it belongs to, wipe tables with a wet rag, sweep with an appropriate sized broom, make toast etc. And if you make it fun, she will absolutely love doing it. As they get to the age where they start saying no, I distinguish between things that are a choice, and things that are not a choice. If they say they don’t want to get in the car, I literally say, “This is not a choice.” I offer choices sometimes, so that they know the difference. They know sometimes they will get to choose, and sometimes whatever I say has to happen right now immediately with no questions or arguing.
This was great advice 👍🏾👏🏾
I'm sitting here on my couch with my 23 month old and my 1 week old both sleeping on me. This past week has been the hardest of my life, but God is faithful. I was planning a homebirth and labor was progressing normally. My water broke and I felt the need to push. Instantly a ton of meconium starts coming out. My midwife tells me the baby is breech and we need to call the ambulance. 10 minutes waiting for the ambulance and another 30 to the hospital and fighting the urge to push the whole time. Got to the hospital and I was too dehydrated for them to get an IV in me. They were trying to get me prepared for an emergency c-section but God and my baby said "no!" Someone said "no time the baby is coming!" I pushed her out in 3 pushes. She is perfectly healthy even though she was breech and had a very short cord. I felt like I had been hit by a truck and am just now starting to feel less sore. We get home from the hospital the next day and my toddler gets a cold and gives it to me😭 We also cosleep so I have to put my toddler to bed then get up and pump to feed my newborn because she's having lach issues. I didn't know it would be this hard. God is good and it won't always be this hard. To all the other mama's out there going through a rough spot, you are doing great even though it doesn't feel like it. You are forever leaving a mark in history by having and raising your children ❤
You go, girl, such a powerhouse! - From one new mom of two to another
@@LeighAnneLinehan Thanks, girl💕
Baby # 3 absolutely rocked us. My oldest was only 4yrs old. Having two toddlers and a newborn, then 3 toddlers is challenging. BUT….. that being said…. I’m expecting baby # 4 😅
I was going to have 2, maybe 3. Currently pregnant with baby #6 😅
I have a 3.5 year old, a 2 year old and an 8 week old. While still challenging, going from 2-3 kids was by far the easiest transition. I was so anxious before the third came too but have been pleasantly surprised :)
This is encouraging, thank you🥹
My kids are the exact same age and I feel the exact same way!
Same feeling here. Mine are 3.5yrs, 27mo, and 4 months.
Okay this is what’s worked for my independent toddlers! I put outfits on hangers. Pants, top, socks, underwear. And the kids can pick out one hanger! So they are picking out my pre-mom approved outfits and still get the independence part! It’s made a huge difference!
The second wife scenario was written in the Siblings without rival book, I’m reading it now and it’s great. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend, I’m reading it now and I only have one 4 month old babe lol.
lol! The “no” phase in our house looks like this: “you need to go pee”
“NO. I WILL NEVER PEE” 😂
I love that you’re making this video it’s like everytime I have the same worries you pop up with a video saying some of my inner thoughts out loud. Also pregnant with #3! Not planned none of them ever were but I’m like 1-2 was the worst for us so far. I’m holding onto hope that people I’ve talked to were right and that 2-3 feels no different in terms of chaos.😂
You will probably always feel that you should be giving more time to your children. Yes, it is difficult to spread yourself amongst more children, but you are an amazing mom, and they will always feel loved by you. You can do this ❤
I’m having a 3rd also. Due in November 2024. So I will have 3 under 3!! All yours fears, I have been feeling the same way. Mostly safety, like going places (stores) and getting them in and out or the car. With 2 toddlers- running away from me in a parking lot… and a newborn strapped to me, hello intrusive thoughts 😢 I just want everyone safe.
I've found that while yes, my tiny "big" kids need my attention, they also need attention from each other and from their dad. They don't have to have all their attention needs solely met by me. Does it still fall mostly to me? Of course. But their world is being expanded with each new little person/sibling that comes into their life. It's amazing to behold my almost 2 yr old little boy say "hi baby" so sweetly to his baby sister. This is such an intense time, but SO worth it!
ALSO, my Boba wrap/baby carriers have been my main-stay when transitioning from 2 to 3 (my 3rd is 2 months old). It's all about logistics. You will likely eventually find a rhythm of when you devote one-on-one time with your older kids. After the initial postpartum healing, I found that my older kids played much better together if A) I kept their toys rotates and B) I spent time reading some books with them. They really respond well to that focused time with them. Then they typically play well together while I sit and nurse the baby, do a few chores, etc. You'll find what works and it will be a beautiful life!
I'm due with baby #3 at the beginning of July ( I have a newly 3 year old and an 18 month old currently) and I feel you on being on the fence ok having a 4th. A part of me feels like I was meant to have 4 but I can't agree more with you on pregnancy with littles is so rough. I'm very sick 1st trimester every pregnancy. This one has been the roughest physically and emotionally.
Thank youuuuu for getting all of this out of your brain and into a video. I literally could’ve made this video. I have a 3 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old and in my first trimester with number 3 and feeling so physically terrible that everything seems impossible and like a never ending uphill battle. Good reminder to realize that in 4,5,6 months time things will look different than they do now. It’s nice to read comments saying 2 to 3 was the easiest transition😬
I love your channel. My oldest is a month older than yours, my second is 2 months younger than yours and I’m pregnant with my third due in November. This video was so spot on. Just remember you’re awesome! Thanks for always saying exactly what I feel and magically giving me advice when I need it. ❤
The possum method 😂😂😂 STOP IT
My 6 week old just got bronchiolitis last week! And an ear infection 😭 my girls are 24 months apart too so thank you daycare. Ugh. It’s been rough.
2 to 3 was super easy for us. One to two was the hardest. I was very much grieving the fact that the one on one time with my oldest was going to change. 2 to 3 there was none of that worry.
So wild that I am feeling the opposite!!!
Yes!! 1-2 was so hard for me too! I felt the same way!
This is currently what I feeling. Lots of grief
Today is my due date with my 3rd, trying not to freak out too much 🫠
This hits home!!! 3 YO, 20 MO and due with my third early August - also living in MN so I did have a winter with a newborn with my last and it wasn’t actually horrible. I think the summer was harder with a crawling baby who wanted to keep up with her sister because she wanted to constantly be moving but couldn’t walk yet..
I'm six weeks along with our first child an honestly I feel the same 😅 we absolutely want to be parents but reality is starting to set in, I'm excited and scared at the same time.
Age 1 to 2 is the hardest for me. Lol when they become mobile and start climbing tables and stuff lol
Highly recommend taking advantage of your insurance and getting an electric pump! It’s just so much easier even if it is once a day and you’re at home - especially if you end up doing it in the middle of the night. I think three freaks me out because we only had two in my family and I can’t imagine it. But I’m sure it will be all the more fun. Can’t wait for the Tessa podcast!
We have a 2.5 yr old, 1.5 yr old, and 2 month old and we are thriving! Easiest transition so far bc 0-1 you know nothing, 1-2 you still have to entertain your first, but 2-3, your kids play w each other and you just sit there and nurse and snuggle (and occasionally intervene to discipline haha).
I was totally relating to what you’re saying about the car situation though. I moved my two to the third row of suburban while I was pregnant and was climbing way back to buckle… at least it’s easier now that I’m not pregnant 😅
WOW! This was soooo refreshing to watch! My oldest is about to turn 3 and I also have a 16 month old and I’m 13 weeks with baby number 3 and you quite literally just said everything out loud that is always going on in my head. I just keep telling myself “I’ve done this x2 before I can handle this one more time”.
Hi Shayla, I'm due in July too it'll be my first. Just wanted to say I love your videos!!! Also if you are worried about your car getting stolen I'd highly recommend a steering wheel lock. I have one and it's decreased my anxiety a LOT!!!
Erin Stanczyk (Eat Move Rest) just had her 3rd baby and they all co-sleep as a family of 5! Maybe ask her for some tips!
Omg thank you!!!!!!!
@heyshayla yes! She just posted a RUclips video today on "EatMoveRest" and in the middle of it she talks about how they sleep. 4 in the bed and oldest on an extra long twin on the side.
I only have one and I hope I can get to the “we’ll just figure it out” phase. Thinking about trying for baby #2 in the next few months, but so anxious about going through the newborn stage again because it was so hard the first time around.
My second was exponentially easier bc I was already in “mom mode” instead of when will my life get back to pre baby life?
I totally understand everything you’re saying even though I am pregnant with my second. I feel like I have a pretty good day but then I unload on my husband even though it’s actually been fine. Also living in ND all traveling is just the absolute worst with the car seats and the jackets and the fussing from the child. I’m trying to get back into my routines of working out, journaling, seeing friends, reading my Bible, etc and I think that will help. I’m trying to view the traveling as just a growing experience for the kids because they need new challenges and breaks in the day. But it truly sucks SO much.
Also pregnant with my second! I 100% agree 👍🏽 breaks in the day are so needed for little ones (and helpful for me too) ❤
I just want to say how amazing and optimistic and inspiring you are. It's really tough being a mom, but you always keep the joy perspective, and that is so inspiring.
I have a newborn myself along with a 2.5y old and find the change so overwhelming, especially the struggle of allocating attention to both, which daily breaks my heart :'), so this video yet again has been a big pick me up! Thank you Shayla! ❤
I feel all of this in my soul 😂 pregnant with my third in Minnesota, and have literally said all of these words and due in August! Laughing because it’s funny, crying because it’s kind of not 😂
Hahaha agreed! I’m doing a meet up May 8th!! “Sip and style” where we learn to style ourselves lol with drinks and mock tails
heyshayla.com/mnmeetup if you’re interested!
Girl, I feel you so hard on this one. On it all. I know it isn't easy to find time to make these videos so THANK YOU. Thank you so much for this video and all the rest that go through all your crazy trains of thoughts, because they are mine too, and I'm sure many others. I also love following along with your pregnancy/motherhood journey. I can't wait to see how you all adjust as a family of 5 and how the girls do with the new baby. Mine is 4 now and we are also in that sweet spot, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to add a baby to the mix (my 4 year old is also baby obsessed). It doesn't look like that will happen for us though, because my husband has been OAD since the day she was born.
Just googled oaf
Gag I can imagine it’s so hard to no agree on number of kids!
My oldest is 3 years old and was such a delight his entire 2nd year (no terrible 2s), and a week or two after he turned three it all showed up. More independence, making his own choices, testing the water. Phew, what a time life is now. My 2nd is 3 months and literally so chill and along for the ride as long as she has milk. Also I want to say I love that you’re kind of one step ahead of me because it can give me some insight! 2 weeks after my second was born I told my hubby I want 3 kids total, and he was in shock and won’t respond when I say it now. 😂😂 poor guy. But I am wishing you all the best and can’t wait to see how adding your 3rd baby will go!❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have 3, ages 8, 6 and 2. Its always hard with a new baby but please know this, you know what you are doing. At this point your a pro even though it doesnt feel that way ❤
I just had my second in January and I swear my poor baby was sick every week for the first 2 months of its life. We all caught a GI bug, cold, flu, viral infection and more. I can’t even remember it all. But my baby rocked it and was fine through it all. Completely understand because my first was also a Covid baby and was never sick. I was stressed to the max about my newborn always being sick. But he’s happy and thriving now. What a way to come into the world!
I feel like your voice is the voice in my head 😂 We just transitioned to 2 and had the same concerns about sleep and bonding. I pump once a day so I can go out with my oldest (even something small like the grocery store) and I cherish our little dates so much.
Getting out of the house is an Olympic sport had me laughing so hard my toddler came and was like mama why you laughing lol😂 thanks for that pick me up. YOU got this girl and it will all fall into place. Blessing ❤
Just here to say you crack me up and I adore you 😂🩶
Hahah I’ll refer ppl to you and put two giant beds together😂😂👏👏
Due with baby number 7 in two weeks and I also homeschool them, and take care of my 95 year old mother in law who has dementia. No regrets at all! We LOVE having a big family and we are all so close. There are challenges and some days are tiring but we all work together and play together too.
Woooooow, how brave! 😮
Wow you are amazing!
Not completely related to this video, but have you heard of Lunapaca cloth diaper covers? I recently did a deep dive on these alpaca wool diaper covers. I love that they're completely made of natural materials, no plastic or pul. It's similar to sheep's wool covers, except that you don't have to lanolize them, they're hypoallergenic, super soft, trim fitted, and they dry really quickly. Anyhow, it I ended up buying some for my second and thought I would share, since it seems like the type of cloth diapering product you might like. Thanks for all the info you post, it's so informative and helpful!
I have not! Do you put the will over something? How do they work? Thanks for telling me!!
@@heyshayla I'm not great at explaining things, but they have good info on their RUclips channel and the Lunapaca website.
You use the alpaca as a cover and then use a separate inner, like a flat, prefold, or fitted diaper. Baby#2 isn't here yet, but I plan to use organic cotton flats, to keep the fit super trim and customizable as baby grows. Cuz I hate leaks and elastic being too tight or sagging around the legs. What sold me is the breathability of the alpaca cover. The material is breathable and moisture wicking. It's supposed to be really good for baby's skin and helping with rashes. During the summer, I always hated that my baby's pul cloth diapers trapped in heat and moisture. Hopefully these will solve that issue for my second baby!
I have a 5 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old. The oldest has claimed the baby as his own 😂 going from 2 to 3 was a very easy transition for us, but i have had to learn to be okay with the baby crying for a few minutes sometimes before i pick him up in instances where I'm like, helping the toddler on the potty or something. Other than that we're so happy and having 3 has been a dream. Oh, and we did get the oldest in his own bed, but often he snags a pillow and joins us in the family bed wherever he can squeeze in 😂
Loved the video. All of my thoughts with number 2 coming in three months time. We want four but just the first 6 months of sleep are dreadful... 😂
Happy you’re feeling better. 3rd baby, woohoo 🎉
I love they way you talk, and your perspective of live. Love listening to you channel aswell as your podcast. We are just planing Baby number 2. Wish you all the best❤
Im 24 weeks and pregnant with my third lol 😂 googling is constant. I haven't been pregnant in 10 years do this is like starting over. I have two girls who are 13 and 10 ....and now starting with this one. We may have a 4th but that's only up to god lol 🤣 im only 32 so there's time. But im so nervous starting again 😅. I
My first was born end of June. No illness until over a year old. Then it was covid so she was pretty much never ill until she went to nursery at 3yrs old. My second born October and has picked up every cold bug going. It's been constant 😵💫 so horrible seeing such a tiny baby with a cold! Oh and and eye infection 😢 at the minute he coughs like an old man 😢😢 Hopefully it makes him stronger.
I'm also due in July (middle of) and my first was born in November. She's 17 months old right now. We were very lucky that she has only caught 3 colds since being ill (one was Cvid from a flight home from a Holiday) I am also concerned for baby 2 🙈
I have a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old and my third is due in November - I relate to sooo much of this 🥲
Just gave birth to our second. Sleep has gone down drastically. I have always wanted 3 kids, but my husband (and MIL) are pushing for just staying at 2.
do not even think about this right now! you just had your second, it gets so much better once you are out of newborn stage.
With the cosleeping thing, I actually put my second next to my first when he was like 6 months old… and my first was a bit upset at first I wasn’t next to her but now she’s fine with knowing I’m on the other side of the bed but not next to her (only took her a week to get over it). With my third coming in a few weeks, my idea is just to put a single bed next to the king, she can go to the single, but still have the closeness and I’ll have the two littles in the king with me. At first I’m in the middle of them but once the baby isn’t as little, I’ll put them next to each other
Yay we’re pregnant! Congrats!
I want to pump only so others can feed my newborn on occasion, but I plan to just use my haaka. I have a pump if needed, but the haaka is just too easy 😅
I love your channel. I have a 20 month old and a 6 week old baby.
Can you please do a video interview with someone about maternal instinct and others holding your baby?
I feel crazy, but I dislike it when a lot of people I don't know so we'll hold my babies.
Not weird! I keep mine in a carrier usually for social events to avoid this!
How do you not worry about labor!? Maybe it’s because I’m attempting a VBAC (in roughly 2.5 weeks) but I am STRESSED about it. That’s what I dwell on probably a good hour or two a day. I have moments of panic where I think “omg there are only two ways to get this baby out of me”, I am scared, it’s out of my control, and that’s if it goes perfectly well! Transition and pushing are terrifying because I didn’t get to that part last time, but what if something goes sideways and there’s a complication! Idk how to be chill about it
I have the same fears but with having a second one.
Also going from 3 to 4 was the easiest transition so far but my eldest was 11 so that probably helped
Im due in the middle of July! With baby #3❤
I love watching your videos ❤ you're so real and just feels like i get to chat with a close friend 😂 If i could talk back sometimes I want to remind you to take a breath and remember all the things you've worried about before and then got through 💪💪 you're a strong Mama and all these things you'll work out once the little one arrives, the same way you did when your second arrived
Amen to this!! Thank you for the reminder!!
My beautiful boys were all born by Caesarian. They are 2+ years apart. My husband was a commercial pilot and away from home for long stretches of time. When my third fellow was born I read books to the older ones while nursing the new boy. Lots of books. They snuggled up to me. It worked. I knew where and what they were doing and the New Boy was happy having a snack and being squished in the middle of it all. FYI Richard Scary’s “ Cars and trucks and things that go” HUGE entertainment..1000x. Read! ❤️
Due with baby #5 in August. I finally feel like we’re going to be complete after this one.
2-3 was super hard. 1-2 was so easy so I said I’m going for 3. Now I’m expecting #13 at 36 years old and Dh said let’s just keep going cause children are amazing. I co-sleep we have two pack and plays on the side of our room. Our youngest are 1 and 2.
I don’t sleep 😅
Get. The. Nanny. if you can make it happen.
Both my oldest were end of July babies, which was fine for illness. But they stayed home with me, so I had the flexibility to limit their exposure. My 3rd, who is 2 months old is a winter baby and has already had a cold, despite my best efforts. I can hardly imagine what her exposure would have been if my other 2 had been in daycare.
My dad got a vasectomy after I was born (2nd kid) and my mom found out about it when the clinic called her and told her he was ready to be picked up from surgery. Lol Seth, please talk about it first!
Omg!!!!!
Going from 1-3 insanely hard (twins!) x
Oh boy I can’t even imagine.
When my first was 2, we moved him to his own bed but same room. I had my second few months after that and my husband, baby and me slept together, toddler in his bed in the same room. But about 3 months after that toddler got sick and really wanted to sleep together, so now he sleeps with my husband, I sleep with baby in another room. Sometimes he really wants me to sleep with him , so I come for a couple hours while my husband sleeps with the baby.
I just want to say: with my first EVERYONE said he should sleep in his own crib, I was so stressed , I was going crazy. Everything changed the moment we let it go and started cosleeping
May be get your kids big floor bed and move both of them there, lay with them and then go sleep with the baby. That’s what I plan for the third myself
That’s exactly the sleep plan!!
I didn't think we would have a fourth. We don't do birth control so I was cycle tracking and it was really good until my body decided to do something new and I got pregnant right at the start of Covid. After our 4th was born I knew we would have a 5th. People always ask if we are done, but I can't imagine making a permanent decision on it, we only have so long to have babies and I love them all so much.
Do you ever do mom meet ups? I love your channel! I have a 19 month old and a 2 month old, and I can understand the craziness 😅 we’re just north of Minneapolis ❤😊
Yes!!! May 8th I’m doing a “sip and style” go to heyshayla.com/mnmeetup so you get the email when it goes out!
I’m actually debating doing it monthly!
@@heyshayla that would be so fun! Where would you be sending info for that, if you decided to? Also my kids are both girls, and I also plan to homeschool them! ☺️
Hey Shayla! 😀 Will you get your third baby's placenta encapsulated? If so who do you go through? I'm 8 weeks pregnant and thinking about doing it myself!
100000% yes!!!
How2mom.com
@@heyshayla thank you for the reply! I will definitely check them out! ❤
Three was a sweet spot for us! It was great. Now we have six, and that's pretty awesome, too. And yes to safe cosleeping!
Due on July with my third and feeling all the same things! 🥹 But I feel like my biggest fear is giving birth again 😂
Very nice
Invest in some really good quality baby dolls for your 2 girls with clothes accessories and all the same stuff as the baby is going to have or need . That way you can be a mom to your newborn without feeling like your not being there enough for your older 2 . So here's the way this works all three will sync with one another .. one will shout mom I need you and second will start crying because baby is crying its a big stressful mess. Que girls I think your babies are crying like your sister / brother whatever come on they need feeding or changing or a nap whatever and they can mimic what your needing to do with their own baby and around the house jobs turn things into games I swear everything became a game for my other 2 who can put three things in the wash basket who can fluff the sofa cushions up 😂 honestly it works a treat. As far as sleep goes we all stayed in the same bed because we co sleep we always have there's no Need to worry because you can sleep top to tail easily so older two at one end and mummy and baby sleep at the other end of the bed . Please don't stress anything it all works out how its supposed to and if ever in doubt or having a rough day I used to just stop and think there's people that have like 10 kids one after the other with no age gaps and they cope ... so I can do this . Wishing you all the best and good luck with everything x
Research post vasectomy pain syndrome before he gets a vasectomy. My husband was in agonizing pain for 2 years after he got a vasectomy and he had to get it reversed.... and now currently pregnant with baby 5 and I don't regret a thing....
Getting out of the house with kids IS an Olympic sport!
Would you have a home birth?
I’m not sure, Seth is a hard no and we found a hospital we love. They say have the baby where you feel safest. And I do feel safest in the hospital as long as they’re cool with me doing my thing
are you having a boy or girl