It hit hard for me too just because “ I’m in her place right now” not in the hospital but feelings those emotions. For the first time in my life I hear and see someone exact has those EXACT FEELINGS I HAVE.
@@crazyayana14 it will get better. I am in kind of depressive spiral right now but I have hope that I will start feeling better here soon. I also have hope for you as well 🥰 I find it useful to focus on the little things like puffy clouds, yummy tea, a good book, or whatever makes you feel happiness. Know that there are people out there in the world that care about you, even if they have never met you. I hope you start feeling better very soon 💕
This might sound cheesy but I was really moved by this episode, it’s inspired me to realize that I deserve help, I reached out to a therapy clinic about making an appointment
This made me cry. There have been times in my life where I’ve just wanted it all to stop but I pressed on. But my daughter developed PTSD after a sexual assault and tried to pretend she was ok. Until one day she came to me and said she needed help, because she wanted to die. She didn’t want to cause her family pain but her pain was so extreme that she couldn’t handle it anymore. I told her how much I loved her and then we agreed to go to the hospital. She spent 2 weeks in the psych ward and is doing much better today but sometimes you just need help and you should be able to ask for it.
As a daughter, I have to tell you how amazing you are for getting your daughter help. I often try to tell my mother I need help, or need medication and she believes it’s all in my mind. I will get better with meditation and positive thinking. Every time she tells me this, I just want to cry and I feel like I hate her. You are so strong for helping your daughter and by not being in denial. Thank you for being an awesome mom!
@@mariepearce6730 I'm sorry this is happening. I wish everyone could understand that mental health is as crucial to maintain as physical health. Even if a health problem is "just in the mind," that doesn't mean it isn't REAL and can be ignored without serious consequences. Hope you can get the help you need. ♥️
I get it but even though I haven’t been in that position where I go to the psych ward I can simply say that sexual assault is real y’all. I went through something similar at age between 3-4. I think I blocked myself that I can talk about it like nothing happened or if it doesn’t bother me. It sucks and it’s an addition to many other things you’re already going through or already have gone through. For me it’s hard to find inspiration motivation and willpower to change, fully accept compliments and take them to heart in a good way, to forgive and forget other including myself. I’m a people pleaser over pleasing myself.
Her explanation of why she doesn't want to get help is exactly my experience. My parents were exactly the same. I didn't want to feel that way anymore so I went anyway behind their back. Thankfully, I live in a country where I don't have the same struggles to find and get help as in the US. I finally figured out what was going on and I'm getting treated for it. My parents still don't accept it but I need to do what's best for me.
In the US sometimes there’s a struggle to find help, but trust me a lot of providers here do push their patrons seek help from a therapist or a psychiatrist. A lot of my patients have one or the other. It just takes some time to find the right therapist who fits your needs.
Your parents are so against the idea of depression and therapy bc they probably see it as a failure on them. That they weren’t good enough parents. That’s on them, not you. Good for you, sending good thoughts your way! ❤
Parents need to stop putting so much pressure on their kids. School was actually harder for me than work. A lot of parents don’t understand and don’t like discussing negative things but as a parent, you are there to support your kids not just physically but emotionally.
Absolutely agree. My parents always say “I’d rather go back to school than ever do work”, but being in school is so hard. In person there is bullying and constant stress of forgetting things because if you forget one paper you get whatever% off the actual grade and you don’t get any sleep because you’re stressing over grades and tests and waking up on time and you’re exhausted.. But I’ve had jobs before. Not much, but still! I’ve worked in animal shelters and heard many stories about work from other people-there aren’t grades, you don’t have to stress about tests, none of that. You just have to do your job. Of course, there are more stressful jobs out there, but still! School causes stress like no other, and can really take a toll-if your parents are disappointed in you for getting stressed or depressed, thats on them. They should be there for you! They brought you into this world and now have a responsibility-care about your kid, because they wont succeed without that help!
@@caramelcopcat Agreed. And you don’t even get paid for the stress school brings you. At least you get paid when you work and have some independence. I also don’t like how parents complain kids are expensive in front of their kids and guilt trip kids for existing. It’s not the kids fault. Why don’t you think about how expensive kids are before you have them? Stop treating your kids like something to use/ show-off or a retirement plan.
@@caramelcopcat truthfully and honest with u my mom still wants me go back to school after i graduated i refuse she won't even let me get a job because she believes my job coach over me
I remember when I told my parents I was depressed. Their first reaction was to tell me how fantastic my life was. Their second reaction was to guilt me with how it was making them feel. Their third reaction was to angrily shout at me and call me ungrateful. After that my teen years became 10x worse. Any time I was even slightly mopey around them they'd immediately start yelling at me to smile and have a positive attitude. They also began to track any time I spent away from the house and routinely tell me I couldn't go out. If I came home late from something my mother would be in hysterics, furiously saying how afraid she was I killed myself. I realize they must have been pretty profoundly mentally ill themselves to behave like that but now as I near turning 30, after spending my 20s dealing with addiction and self harming the second I was out from under their watchful eyes (and yes a few not-alive attempts) I'm positive I'll never see them again unless I'm forced to by something important.
Mine told me i was exagerating and that others have it worse and i just need to auto educate myself... i just ignored them and went to therapy ,even now they say i'm exegerating
My dad told me my anxiety & depression were all in my head. I told him, "Duh." He never understood any of it, never really tried to help by joining in family therapy, but he worried a lot and my parents spent thousands on mental health when insurance didn't cover something. He didn't think I was making things up, he just didn't get it and I admit it was hard to explain a lot of what I felt because I didn't understand myself sometimes. It's all super frustrating because later he admitted he was depressed but he did nothing to try and fix it. IDK. It does help to know I'm not the only one that had dealt with this kind of issue. I wish I'd known that better when I was young.
@@shurinhaha Later on, my mother suffered from depression because she had severe scoliosis, Parkinson's, and things were just going badly. She told me she finely understood and while I appreciated that, I'm sad she had to deal with that and her poor health.
Gator hator: I absolutely felt your comment I grew up exactly like you described. It was very unbearable and I couldn’t only a 100 on my exams , idk if it’s just an Asian stigma or not but those of us who grew up with parents like this and where over achieving was pressured , I believe these kinds of people should not have children. I look at my own children who do sometimes struggle. I can’t even imagine being like that towards them . How we’re we put through that is crazy !
If you have driven your child to the point of clearly believing that you will hate them or think they are weak or spewing family secrets because they are mentally ill or not in the right place? To the point that you care more for your status and image over your own child's health and happiness? You failed as a parent. And you need to work on that before it's too late.
That was my mom. When I first started therapy telling secrets and lies about the family. But deep down inside she knew I need help before things got worse and she let me get the help I needed . She’s seen an improvement not only in my behavior/general mood but how I traverse this world and our relationship. Before we couldn’t talk to each other without fighting now, we can talk to each other with civility
I was in a very similar situation as her. I had therapy sessions in secret so my family wouldn't find out. If they did, I'd be labeled as crazy. In the Vietnamese community, (or mine, at least) Anyone who goes to a mental health professional is deemed crazy, and rumors spread about you and your family, like it's wild fire. I was terrified of being judged, or abandoned by my own family. It came to a point where I had to choose between my family, or my health/happiness. Everyone kept saying that I am better off just leaving and never seeing them again, but I refused because they are my family, and they raised me. It's all I ever knew. Me leaving felt like I tore my arm off. I was scared that if I couldn't handle being on my own, I'd have to go back home and face the consequences. Fortunately, me leaving was a wake up call to them, and they began treating me better. We still talk frequently, and I come to visit. But we agreed, I'd never go back and live there ever again.
Hi, I am glad you feel better, you are a humble gorgeous unique human being. DO NOT GIVE UP love yourself. I will pray, ask our creator to keep you under his wings. Thank you for expressing your feeling's, it will get better, even if you fail...stand up again, start again and again NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ok 💐💞
As a Vietnamese person, I agree with you. My mom told me that people who are treated for depression, suicidal idealization, and/or other kinds of mental illnesses would be denied access to universities and can't get a job. That stuff isn't true. A school staff member at my high school had to lecture her about the truth and that her views were very ableist.
Daft question and I don't mean to upset anyone, but how would the wider community find out if you went for therapy? You or your parents wouldn't exactly trumpet this around the neighborhood would you, and the fact that you had therapy in secret shows that it can be done without anyone finding out. It's like a girl going to a gynecologist - you wouldn't exactly spread that around the neighborhood either. In the West people tell everyone because it's like a badge of honor now to have therapy or be on medication for depression, but if you keep quiet about it - how could anyone find out? Or is the patient confidentiality not that great in nVietnam, or would your parents tell all the relatives? For some jobs you might have to declare your medical history though when you apply for them, so be aware of that. Anything that involves responsibility for other people's lives, such as pilot or professional driver etc, at least here in the West they check one's medical history and if one has ever had therapy, one doesn't get accepted for such jobs.
“I have a good life, I shouldn’t have depression”. This was the exact thinking that kept me from believing I could have depression. It took someone telling me that it doesn’t have to have a reason to realize I needed to go get help
As a Pakistani born person I can feel her pain on a very personal level, first we fear what our community will say, what our family will say, second we feel this constant need to pretend like everything is okay when in reality, as she said, it's hard getting out of bed in the morning and remembering all the responsibilities and expectations that are put on us to be our best selves... This whole dialog of, "What will people say" , and "I don't wanna disappoint my family" is imbedded into our brains at a very young age... It makes us feel worthless and useless because we can't be our true selves... Depression is normal, just because some people see is as a sign of weakness doesn't mean that that's all it is... People hurt themselves, take their own lives because they have no one to talk to...
same, im pakistani too and it sucks to know that there's no easy way to leave that community. if i be myself as an lgbtq person, it'll put a bad image on my parents and they will berate me. if i run away, it'll put a bad image on my parents and my mom will get very depressed. if i don't be myself, i'll never be happy. i'm still not sure how i'll leave but hopefully i'll figure it out. it sucks to have such a great effect on a community
I'm indian and this is exactly what happens. Its drilled into our heads from such a young age. It's always about what other people think, even at the expense of our mental health
This is me, I'm currently unable to sleep and function and I've bought sleeping pills secretly and take them before bed to cope. If my parents found out, they would make it into such a big deal like I'm doing something illegal.
I'm from a white family and my mother is the same way. Doesn't believe in therapy. Doesn't believe in "bringing up the past". Denies anything is wrong with me despite being diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with chronic PTSD from childhood trauma. This mother accepting her daughter needs help hit me hard. I hope this is what the future holds and not just fiction for most people.
The way she said 'I need help' absolutely broke me. Made me cry instantly. I've been suffering from depression since i was 16, i'm now 23 . I'm much better now but it took me too long to ask for help. Even now i don’t know if it was because i was ashamed because i 'didn’t have a reason to feel depressed', scared of my parents reactions, or because i had too much pride to ask for help. or maybe it was all of the above. But like i said i feel a bit better now but i wish i had the strength to ask for help earlier.
This made me all misty-eyed. I have clinical depression and usually, I just try to tough it out. But there are days when I just feel like it would be better if I just died and that I wouldn't be such an annoyance to people if I wasn't around. It's tough to admit that you need help because you think people would judge you. I finally decided to seek therapy and get medication for it and I've been doing so much better. It's still hard, but I'm not thinking about dying anymore.
"She won't -- love me the same." This girl is correct to think this way. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in college (then called manic depressive disorder), my parents treated me even worse than before we knew exactly what my problem was. Everything I did and said was scrutinized under the microscope of "It must be because of their mental illness", and if I didn't follow every little order they gave, it was automatically, "Have you taken your meds today?" I accept that there are actually understanding, genuinely loving, and caring parents out there . . . but some of us didn't or don't have them. I fully understand her reluctance, because I went through what she feared the most -- to become an embarrassment to her parents -- someone to shun and hide from the world. A failure of their own making. Sometimes seeking help becomes a worse hell than the disorder.
I can relate. My family doesn't treat me the same since my diagnosis. I don't think they understand mental illness, my grandparents sorta just expect me to figure it out myself. I get care in the form of a conversation about "doing things".. I have to do this, go do that, make practical steps. Get help for myself, make a dozen life changes, if I hate the situation just get out of it. Stop doing it. Do something. Sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming it's not possible to 'do things.' Sometimes I just need someone to calm me down, be there, check up on me, communicate, be present regularly and available habitually, not just when I'm falling apart. And that isn't ... I think the emotional upset scared them off. I think they don't care about me, so much as I'm their grandaughter and they should care.
this really hit me. during my struggle with depression, when i told my parents, i just looked at my dad and said the same thing she did. "I'm sorry, I need help."
I said something similar over the summer. I believe my words were “I want to go to the [mental] hospital” while the actual mental hospital would “be a bad fit” for me according to dad (who I suspect is a narcissist), I did get help and therapy.
When I was crippled by a panic attack after a series of painful events, the only thing I could think to do was to call my mom. I'm glad I did. She talked me down and then did all the legwork to find me a doctor. All I had to do was call to make the appointment. She and my dad helped me through years of ups and downs as I went through treatment for anxiety and depression. Parents, don't make your child's illness about you. Get them the help they need. I'm doing really well now, and my relationship with my mom (my dad passed a few years ago) is very strong.
The state of mental health care in this country is terrifying. After the way I have been treated in a number of different hospitals, I will never ask for help again. Mental patients are treated like they are stupid, they are less than, or they are bad because of their behavior.
It's so weird like they always say get help but I did and therapy did not help me, the meds make me numb ive gained like 100lbs, my doctor only wanted me to go back to work asap and my pay was 70% but I still had all my expenses. There literally was no point, I was better off getting fired at that point! So now I just suck it up and if I get fired so be it.
When she started listing them off, I just felt so much pain because of the truth of it all, the worst times of my day are getting up and trying to go to sleep and I feel so tired all the time.
Everyone should be able to get the proper help they need when it comes to mental health. I went through my worst patch of depression when I lived by myself for the first time last year, and when I was working at my last job I couldn't feel any joy in what I was doing at all even though it was a temporary job. I took more days off than I ever had for a job in my life, and that was why I was fired. I feel that even though your employer doesn't have to consider your mental health, they really should because ultimately if they don't have employees that can function with a healthy mind, they won't be productive and it doesn't make it any better. People always say mental issues are in your head or for attention or that it'll go away eventually when you get used to it, and those kinds of comments fill me with rage and disgust because my own depression and anxiety hinders my life as it does for many others. Learning to handle something a bit better with treatment isn't the same as "it'll go away" or anything like that. These are real problems that people suffer with and people feel like they're not heard or can't tell anyone because of what they think someone else will think about them. It can be a very sensitive topic to speak up about, and I've been there myself because I didn't want to guilt someone with my problems. Take care, seek help, and please speak up about your mental health because you deserve help and love. ♥️
Annie, I cant speak for other culture but for Cambodian, there is no words to describe Depression, the closest thing i can think of is the word Crazy. Alot of poor countries dont know this, the mean force is to get food, stat alive so when living in a best country like USA and having depression (crazy) is just not a thing, cant be. Just how the parents/older gen is. Im speaking from first hand experiences. 🙂
Seeing this comment section with so many stories and shared emotions is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. What makes me sad though, is that there are so many that can no longer share these stories due to stigmas. I genuinely feel inspired to make change in another's life, and I hope others feel the same way.
This just broke me.. Hits hard when you understand the struggle. Thank goodness she’s gonna get help. All who need help, should get the help they need. Always.
I remember that one day in University, I was very stressed because of an assignment and a job I had that time. No one understood my situation and all day I felt like on the edge of crying. How ironic, that the topic we covered touched on mental health. The assignment for that class was due on that day and I couldn’t get myself to do it so after class, I talked to my lecturer, and I immediately started crying. I was crying out for help but he didn’t notice. I told him about everything and he still didn’t get it. He told me that I shouldn’t be this upset and that I should put some makeup on and fix my hair to look nicer. I was crying out for help and through all the lecturers I had, I felt like he would have been the one to notice any signs. He never did and I will remember that conversation for the rest of my life.
I was days away from unaliving myself, (a few years ago, i am doing okay these days) and i did a last ditch desperate cry for help, after years of begging for it. My mother, a genuinely lovely and loving woman finally heard me, and said "I thought you were smarter than that." I did get help, but by the skin of my teeth.
As a mental health professional and a person diagnosed with major depression this is such an accurate depiction of depression..almost brought me to tears when she explained how it felt and when she communicated her needs to her mother. Well done 👍
Oh man. This was done really well. One of those things that gives you words you wish you had earlier, sums up a lot of common feelings. And I really like “We all need help”, perfect line.
Out of no where THE MOMENT she started to describe her depression tears were already going, because i knew the moment they mentioned not getting out of bed was to real for me that i wish my parents could understand that its not about resposibilty or time that helps our depression its relief of being understood.
I feel her on a level I can’t explain. My father is someone I’m afraid to even ask for help because I’m so used to being told “it’s an excuse” by him and the arguments are not even worth my mentality anymore to reason with him. It hurts, not just a pinch. A whole truck.
Wow, this was rough to watch. My mother ended her life due to depression when I was 15. It was very rough for her I imagine having to raise an autistic kid as a single parent while battling homelessness and addiction at the same time. I blamed myself quite a lot for her death which led to me battling my own depressive thoughts of ending my life and addiction for several years. Being adopted into a very different and abusive environment didn't help either. Neither in my mothers life nor mine so far were we ever able to reach out to other family members as it proved to be very toxic. I'm 20 now and I still struggle with day to day life but I feel myself getting better. Becoming a future father has brought me new meaning to life. I've never spoke to anyone on how I feel but seeing everyone here talk about their journey inspired me to post mine. And hey, to whoever might read this, I'm sorry for what battles you're going through and I hope for you all to overcome them. - A stranger
In real life cps would have been called asap but it's a nice representation of how hard it is to go against family and culture in regards of mental health
Parents came from the Philippines. I was born in Canada. Growing up they always hinted towards the typical doctor and lawyer career. It was never my thing so I went to college taking construction engineering and management and now I'm a union carpenter with my own side business and never regretted my decision. They eventually stopped pushing towards the other careers after I started taking care of them and some bills. Im not perfect but I put in the work and they were happy because I was happy.
i’ll always be grateful to my parents. the second i told them something was wrong, they immediately got me therapy and are still there every step of my recovery. they pay my therapy, drive me to all my appointments, pick up my medication, support me, and they just worry. they’re involved in my therapy and in my progress goals. they support me in every way they know and they’re understanding when my moods cause me to lash out at anyone standing near me. i’ve improved so much because of them.
I felt for the girl, because she was unhappy, depressed, stressed, and she was afraid her parents would know. The Indian doctor told his colleagues it's about shame and that's very true. And finally the mother showed she understond and loved her daughter. The love was so clear here. My sister was adopted from South Korea and it's the same with her. She's not depressed at the moment, but she has that sense of general shame about not knowing things so either she pretends to know or she keeps insisting a wrong thing is wright. She simply cannot admit she is wrong about something.
This hit hard for me , I was there at one point and everything portrayed was exactly how I felt. Years have passed and I finally talked to my parents. Now I look back and realize how dark it was back then. I've come long away and realize that i can't be perfect cause no is perfect. To accept myself and that it's okay to ask for help.
I cried because I know first hand how it feels, to be admitted in a phyco ward and still not get the help that I needed only to be fed pills that prevented me from being human. I wouldn't wish that on anyone
Me too psych wards don’t help anybody they just feed people pills and make them traumatize it only made me trust the mental health care system less a lot less
Our parents don't want to listen to us, listen to what we feel. They always think and say that they are always right. My sister, brother and me are angry to our father because he bullies us, verbally. That hurts me so much to hear the words he is saying about my siblings. Therefore, you can see in our actions that we always distance ourselves from him and don't respond normally and comfortably to whatever he says. They called our actions and they get angry at us. How will they know the reason why we are acting like this if they dont even want to listen to us? To listen to feelings, our side, our thoughts? I suffered anxiety for almost 6 years and just 3 years ago, I was a happy that I can finally overcome anxiety but now, it came back. So does the thoughts. The only thing that we want for our parents to do for us RIGHT NOW is to LISTEN to us and UNDERTSAND and LOWER THEIR PRIDE. Because based on their reactions when we are asking them to listen to us, what they understand in the word "LISTEN" is that we are giving them lessons, that we reprimand them WHICH IS NOT TRUE, we just want our voice and feelings to be heard. Then, our father wants us to say sorry to him. Are we the only one and are we the one who made mistake in the first place? If only he doesnt say such things that are degrading, talking about our past mistakes again behind our backs, judging us, and saying bad things as if we don't exist - YES WE HEAR THEM, AND WE HAVE FEELINGS, WE GET HURT, WE GET ANGRY. But because of their pride, and how super high they see about their role as parents, they won't even recognize, realize, and accept their mistakes. We are not perfect, NO ONE IS. Yes, in the country I lived there is this toxic culture - us, who are younger than them, have no right to say something because if we do, they are considering it as "talking back at them". PLEASE LISTEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. One thing I observed about my parents (YES, BOTH OF THEM) is that they don't care about mental health problems. Well, they only care about themselves. Just because you don't experience any mental health problems, doesnt mean that you should neglect it, that you should take it as a joke. Why? Did you ever LISTEN? Calling out to all parents to please take good care of your children, and give them enough love and support. Don't be there for them just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Sending love to all❣️
I totally understand this. In my country that's still new in the process of accepting mental health, a lot of people are afraid to seek help even when they need it because others say they're just overreacting.
First and foremost, if a child tried to commit suicide, she is going inpatient mental health facility. Assuming that the hospital in the show had their own psych facility, they can give therapy there. The parents do not have a say if their child attempted suicide to refuse treatment. After treatment for the initial attempt where she no longer meets inpatient level of care and is discharged, the parents then could technically refuse. I've had many parents threaten (I conduct psych assessments in hospitals) to take their child home after they've seriously harmed themselves or contemplated it with continued ideation and no means to keep safe. We call CPS on those families and file against them if they do continue to try to encourage their children to lie during assessments to seem like they are better when they are not. It is not ethical to encourage the kid to lie and defraud the hospital and hold that secret, and lie to their parents about therapy as they are the ones who have to live with their parents and that lie. Yes, getting mh treatment is 100% needed but you cannot hold that responsibility to lie on the kids shoulder
Cognitive distortions are a really hard thing to cope with. Her mother still loved her the same. She just needed to understand the help her daughter needed.
So many ethical issues with this....Please, don't do this to a patient, like, ever. Telling her mom about her mental health issue (4:35) is a serious breach of confidentially. Really bad representation of the health care system:( I don't want people to be turned away because of this.
They are a underage. They do have a responsibility to tell the parents that their kid tried to kill themselves. They don't need to share every detail of the convo a kid had with them but in order to understand the continued risk and understand what led to it, doctors can absolutely tell parents what happened. Doctors can also enforce mental health treatment against parents wishes in cases like this (I work in the ER doing psych assessments and have many parents who try refusing treatment for their kid who attempted suicide).
@@selladore4911 in the US. In cases where a patient is a direct safety threat to themselves or others, whether do to homicidal, suicidal, or lack of ability to care for self (psychosis, extreme bipolar, or even lack of ability to care for self - like dementia where patient is being dangerous) psychiatrists can force treatment on a patient for the purpose of stabilization until the patient is at a place that they can be discharged safely. There are (sadly) some patients who are so mentally ill they cannot live in the community safely for themselves or others and can be in hospital settings for a long while. A suicide attempt, especially a minor, is basically a mandated psych hospitalization even if the parents are against it. I've filed with DCF/CPS on parents who try forcibly refusing their child mental health treatment when it is clear they are not safe to d/c
uh, didn’t she tell the doctors to tell her parents? she said “i’m sorry i couldn’t go behind my moms back” which i assume entails that she eventually gave in and told them to tell her parents the truth.
I still remember the day i told my parents i need help with my mental health. Luckily enough i caught my mom in a very fragile state when it comes to the subject of therapy, because some friend of her told her stories about people who didn't go to therapy and ended commiting all kinds of things. It was hard, my parents tried to help me first, before letting me into therapy. And that's pretty nice, but having no experience with this they were just pouring salt on the wound. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and moderate sociophobia, so sure enough, mom telling me that in the and we all die at some point (in the moments when i was having a monstrous anxiety attack) or telling me that she doesn't understand how come i feel bad, i just have to appreciate life more just made me seek out a therapist as soon as possible.
I just had to withdraw from college for the semester because of an autoimmune disorder that manifested as severe fatigue and depressive affect. I wanted to solve it myself so badly that I cut myself off from everyone for about 7 months. I wanted to end my existence. But my parents threatened to fly down to school until I told them why I wasn’t talking to them. Despite the fact that I know that mental health is a valid reason for getting help, I kept apologizing for having to get help. I felt so much relief when I found out that my problems were largely due to my physical disease. I fully understand the shame surrounding mental health because even though my family is filled with mental health advocates, I was worried that I would disappoint them because I was suffering. I’m now getting treatment for my disease and going back to therapy for my anxiety.
My dad has been diagnosed but my mom says that mental illness isn’t real, so even though my dad thought I had depression I could never get therapy. Now that I’m off my mom’s insurance I’m still too scared to go to therapy to see if I have anything.
GO! Do NOT let someone else's delusions stop you from getting help. Dont let her hang-ups become yours. The brain is an organ and like any organ it can malfunction and need treatment to get back on track. Older generations need to grow up and accept reality.
I am a living failure and burden, so I don't feel like I deserve help, but for the last years, I have been depressed. My situation is so similar to this girl because of how much I am afraid of my parents. I wish I could get help as she did, but if I attempt, my parents will destroy me more.
You are NOT a failure or a burden! This might be hard to accept but sometimes we have to choose to distance from toxic family members in order to avoid being poisoned ourselves.
Thanks. This is actually what happened to me after my pathetic attempt. It’s something that could never really be put into words to be understood by other people. That feeling. The desperation and the knowing that you’re being illogical and being helpless against your mind
This made me cry, I've had chronic depression since I was 12 but have been dealing with passive suicidal thoughts since I was only 7 years old and those passive thoughts became active a few times. Being 28 now I've been working through some of my trauma for about 3 years, but I still have a long way to go. I've always ended up dealing with it myself, I've tried therapy and counseling and while I liked them it did nothing for me. I've developed the unique ability of objectively analyzing myself, my past, thought patterns, ect. With this I've been able to pin point the roots of some of the trauma, I've also gained the ability to simulate counseling in my own mind. Using this in conjunction with my analysation is how I began to HEAL. Even now I'm analyzing, which is why this has sort of turned into word vomit. 😕 Sorry.
All the best my dear. I hope u get better soon. Life is so precious and I hope u can get to a place where you realise that. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. May God be with you.
I'm only 14 and I felt this way since I was 10. I know how to get help and where because a friend that I made said she goes to therapy and her parents accepted her. I already know my parents aren't that way though so I'm not sure what to do. They'll need to know if I'm in therapy if I go. I wish there was some other way like my older siblings only knowing. Since they're over 18
This is honestly my comfort clip, it reminds me that we all deserve help and to be healthy and that there is nothing wrong or shameful about asking for it because those who truly love you will stand by your side every step of the way
I remember being in this situation with my own mom. I thought she wouldn’t understand. But then one night as we were talking about my issues she asked me, “Do you think you might be depressed?” I broke down. She took me to a psychiatrist and therapist and got me on medication that helped. She is always the first person to know when I’m in a bad place. I love my mom ❤
I lost my mom a year ago. She struggled with depression, and she saw me going downhill. She drove to my college campus one day to meet up with me and pretty much force me to go see the counselor. And she supported me through eventually seeing a psychiatrist and getting on antidepressants. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my mom before that, and the meds made me feel totally different about it. I miss her so much.
At 19, I was placed on a 51/50 but I was in the hospital before being transferred because I tried to OD. In the hospital, nobody talked to me and a security guard sat near the door and guarded me like a prisoner. I also had no insurance and they transferred me via ambulance in the middle of the night. My hospital bills came out to be over 15k. My poor parents. I learned to never tell anyone about my problems or thoughts ever again after this.
I am so thankful that I have such supportive parents who have helped me through my mental health journey. They took me to a group home to get therapy, they took care of me when I was so depressed I couldn’t care for my basic needs and they pay for some of my bills since I can’t work enough to support myself. I would not be here if it wasn’t for my parents.
Having come from a very similar background I understand this pressure. Luckily I've learned to manage it as I got older, but Ive seen how it affects others who have it worse. If only it's this easy for families to accept this as a problem that can be resolved, but the difference in culture can be tragically steep...
As someone that deals with major depressive disorder, I’ve reached out for help over and over again, all with no success. I’ve been hospitalized many times because of suicide attempts, had ECT, dealt with so many social workers, doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists that actually don’t care. Even though the stigma of mental health issues is alive and well in society, it’s even worse in the medical community. Honestly, asking for and getting help are two different things. After years of failed requests for help, I’ve accepted the fact that I have to deal with this alone. A sad but true situation.
As an asian myself, even without asian parents that raised me (because I was adopted as a baby to white parents) this is not every Asian child's life. I suffered from depression to the point where I almost took action to kill myself and could never see my own self worth since I was never a good student or was particularly good at anything like everyone else I knew. The stigmas around asian families with honor and reputation exist, sure, but they shouldn't be the only reason why some families have issues with mental health. Anyone can suffer from depression and it happens for many reasons and is sadly extremely common in our world. My point is that I don't exactly think its exactly nice when people say these kinds of things because it's the common stigma.
@@cd0202 Honestly, as an Asian, with Asian parents, living in Asia, this is not a stigma. It is actually really true. I was suffering from depression and panic attacks for almost a year, within which my parents only saw three panic attacks, all of which they called 'drama' and 'looking for attention'. And sadly, this is the case with almost all of my peers, who are again Asian, with Asian parents, living in Asia. The parental pressure is sky high, to the point where multiple friends of mine and I almost ended our lives. For Asian parents, their children must be picture perfect. All they care about is your grades, and they refuse to accept or believe that children can have mental health issues. The worst part is that they sympathize with other kids, but remain oblivious to their own. For instance, when my parents were going through some extreme marital issues, they decided to speak to a counselor, and my mom straight up told me that I didn't need sessions as well, since I was just a kid, and it cost a lot of money. And when I finally had a huge, almost half an hour long panic attack and opened up to my parents, they kept asking me about my studies and telling me to focus on it, rather than understanding that it was due to their pressure and extreme controlling that I was depressed. I have been multiple times about how I'm such a disappointment, and would most likely fail in life, just because my grades weren't up to par with what they wanted. So no, I don't think it's a stigma attached to Asians, but rather, reality itself.
I have the upmost sympathy for those who have issues like you, i really do. I feel very fortunate to have grown up in a different environment and i never take it for granted. I have experienced panic attacks, anxiety, and depression firsthand for around 5 years and it showed me how badly mental health can effect people in their lives. Despite what my parents thought or at least what i thought they did, i always felt that they seemed to not want to always jump in to help as much when they realized what was wrong when i was acting out unlike my normal self, which took a long time. I wish more parents would stop to think of how their children feel and to realize that no one is perfect no matter what and that they should encourage their child with positivity and not criticize them for not meeting their own standards which will only make it worse when they do that. Sorry if I said something to make you mad or seem ignorant to you. The episode really hit close to home for me and i teared up seeing how scared she was.
I shouldn't have even said anything, I can't speak with true experience like others can on this subject and I have no space to talk about this. Really sorry.
@@cd0202 The episode hit home for me too. And this is a completely open platform, so don't worry about speaking your heart out. We all just have different experiences, and I truly hope that you are better now. Don't ever be sorry to speak out. You're opinion ALWAYS matters☺
This made me cry. I have severe psychotic depression and psychosis. I needed someone like him when I was a child being abused, witnessing horrific stuff like, being forced to wake up and see my mum almost beaten to death or just battered every night. Because of this I became the same woman my mum was, thinking it was normal I was abused except I protected my kids and kept quiet through everything that happened to me... So they didn't hear me getting hurt bad by their father. I'm 37, 12yrs free from that abuse but I'm left with the damage. I've never recieved any help and only feel emotiinally around my children.
This made me cry. I was raised in a family that didn't believe in mental health issues, or they were just seeking more attention. I am bi polar with rapid cycling. I so wish my parents could have learned it is true so I could have gotten help so much younger.
i remember that for the past four years of my life, my thoughts have been exactly like that. I finally decided to get help. I had believed that because i had a loving family, a good financial situation and essentially a perfect harmonized lifestyle that i had no right to be depressed, and that it was pathetic of me to think like that. But, I'm human, and i realized that as a human, i have every right to my thoughts, my emotions and my suffering. I'm now in a better place, i also have meds to help with my anxiety and depression. It lowkey makes me feel numb, and i do sometimes feel like a burden or pathetic for needing medication and therapy, but it's working, and I'm slowly becoming human again. I'm slowly staring to not just be alive, but rather to live. I painted again yesterday for the first time in years, and it felt really nice.
I feel for this girl, I have been battling in silence with my depression for years and its because I don't trust doctors or psychiatrist and I don't want pills that will exacerbate my depression symptoms.
understandable but these people do want to help, some are assholes but you gotta find the right person. And personally for the meds it only lasts for a little while but you always have the option to change your meds or the dose. It’s not like you’re forced to do anything you don’t wannna do.
If only the health care system was actually like this. Instead we're just asked general questions and given pills. Having gone through a psych ward and had sessions with a therapist. I can safely say we're treated like dead weights.
The problem they may not show is maybe in the heat of the moment, a parent who doesn't understand will soften their heart enough to understand and want to help, but in a lot of cases I see and have been through myself, that moment dissaptes and turns back to the way things were as soon as your not crying anymore. Then some day you can cry and it won't even make a difference, in those cases its called psychological abuse...
Admitting you need help is hard when my husband told his mother he was going on antidepressants and counciling she said Can't you just get happy? I avoided antidepressants like the plague even after my baby brother took his own life to my Grandparents having a mental illness was shameful I have been on a regular routine for a decade and a half and went through counseling finally at 45
Just before I saw this episode I had a moment of clarity about my daughters health condition and mental state. It hit me like a ton of bricks. For a long time I’ve been begging her to seek therapy for her anxiety and depression because it is severely affecting her physical health. She has a very serious and rare disorder that is causing other problems also and she has a feeding tube. Despite all the pain she’s in and that she has a small child she continues to make excuses for not getting Therepy. She won’t even do the smallest things to help herself like take probiotics like the doctor recommended and numerous other things. It struck me a few minutes ago that she could be passively allowing herself to die. She knows how much she is loved and how we would all be lost without her. She has promised that she would never “hurt” herself. But maybe it’s that she wouldn’t ACTIVELY hurt herself but she could do it passively. She could sit back and not fight. Not do anything to help herself. Now I’m freaked out. I doubt she even realizes what she could be doing to herself. Please pray for her. Jesus knows who she is. Thank you.
I feel the same about asking for anything. I know there is going to be a no as an answer for anything so I don't bother. Mine isn't for mental health, but I am sorry for everyone that is going through this with mental health.
I've struggled all my life with severe mental illness (bipolar and clinical depression.) My mother watched me OD many times. Even at 11. Her solution? "Maybe Daddy could play checkers with you!" It's not cultural; she's just old- school American. I finally begged for help when I was 17. It's been a long journey. 20 years later, I still battle dark feelings, but overall find joy and feel excited to wake up every morning now.
In reality, I have never met a doctor that would take the time to talk to the patient for more than a few minutes, much less just listen to the patient, even when they held me over night, thinking I was suicidal.
This episode hit home for me. All throughout highschool I convinced myself there was no way I could possibly be depressed because I had so many good things in life. A good family, a good home, good friends. I was well off, and I felt like I had no need to be depressed. I was an outgoing, fun person. I was already in therapy for my anxiety disorder. Was that not enough? Not only did I convince myself that I couldn't be depressed, but I convinced myself that no one would take it seriously if I said anything. I thought people would think I was ungrateful or self-centered. After years went by, I had the worst breakdown of my life. My depression was pushed down and penting up for years and then it all came out at once. I was very thankful and happy that my parents and friends were supportive and understanding. I'm proud to say I'm medicated, still in therapy, and over a year clean of SH!
Yet when I tell my parents theirs too much pressure they tell me to suck it up and deal with it. Last time I told my mom she said I don't have time for that just go with it and keep your head up.
1:45 this happened to me and my mom didnt want me to go to therapy because she said i would be crazy im sorry to whoever is going through this and have people in their life who dont understand
I'm 60 and struggling with depressia & anxiety for 30 years. I don't even know why am I taking pills wenn they do not help. Has anybody ever healed depression/anxiety? PLEASE HELP ME. I have a daughter (30 years old, a single mother like I have been) and I' m afraid she's starting to get the same problem. PLEASE HELP US! ANYBODY? 🙏😭
@@steinbock1962 I'm only 14 years old and I'm not in therapy but I have a friend who is and she's my age. She said she went to her local clinic/hospital and the doctor askes her questions. And then the doctor said she'll be needing therapy and her parents had to know. After that she does therapy every week and she said her therapist is really nice. I hope my parents come to a understanding that I need therapy, I want to make sure I have a good mindset because there's still so much I wanna accomplish. I also don't wanna wait so long
When i was a jr in high school i made a friend and her parents were like this, didnt trust therapy, didnt believe in mental health. I brought her to my guidance counselor and she helped her family get the help my friend needed. I feel horrible for kids and teens with parents that are like this. Every deserves help
I let my husband know that if he or our daughter would ever feel like this I will help them get the help they need. Why? Because I have been in that position where I didn't ask for help because I felt that my family would look at me differently. I'm here for anyone that needs help so if you need it reach out to me and I will help get the resources you need.
Did anybody else cry? She listed the things she had to do but couldn't find the motivation to because it wasn't worth it. People are telling and asking when I will start driving, I tell them, "It's personal", when it's more than that. Imagining it as a way to end myself because of the panic/anxiety attack, the how I can't do one simple thing when kids my age can't wait to learn and have their own car, burdening my family to take me to work because I'm so scared to drive anywhere or even sit at the wheel because of the pressure around me, lying awake at night thinking a million things I can't do, and just wondering if I fall asleep forever will it finally stop? (Crying while I'm writing this)
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The "I'm sorry, I need help" hit hard for me.
It hit hard for me too just because “ I’m in her place right now” not in the hospital but feelings those emotions. For the first time in my life I hear and see someone exact has those EXACT FEELINGS I HAVE.
Totally with you on that one. I teared up at the end there myself.
@@crazyayana14 I hope things have gotten better for you 💕
@@missfeisty it hasn’t but thank you for seeking out to see if I am doing okay. That’s very sweet of you, I’m hoping you’re having a good day/night.
@@crazyayana14 it will get better. I am in kind of depressive spiral right now but I have hope that I will start feeling better here soon. I also have hope for you as well 🥰 I find it useful to focus on the little things like puffy clouds, yummy tea, a good book, or whatever makes you feel happiness. Know that there are people out there in the world that care about you, even if they have never met you. I hope you start feeling better very soon 💕
"She won't love me the same. Is there a coping mechanism for that?" that hit me
This might sound cheesy but I was really moved by this episode, it’s inspired me to realize that I deserve help, I reached out to a therapy clinic about making an appointment
Im happy for you and good luck!
So happy for you ❤️
I’m so proud of you.
I'm proud and happy for you, goodluck!
It’s not cheesy at all! Best of luck to you.
This made me cry. There have been times in my life where I’ve just wanted it all to stop but I pressed on. But my daughter developed PTSD after a sexual assault and tried to pretend she was ok. Until one day she came to me and said she needed help, because she wanted to die. She didn’t want to cause her family pain but her pain was so extreme that she couldn’t handle it anymore. I told her how much I loved her and then we agreed to go to the hospital. She spent 2 weeks in the psych ward and is doing much better today but sometimes you just need help and you should be able to ask for it.
Thanks for sharing,
I pray things will improve for you and her.
God bless you
As a daughter, I have to tell you how amazing you are for getting your daughter help. I often try to tell my mother I need help, or need medication and she believes it’s all in my mind. I will get better with meditation and positive thinking. Every time she tells me this, I just want to cry and I feel like I hate her. You are so strong for helping your daughter and by not being in denial. Thank you for being an awesome mom!
@@mariepearce6730 I'm sorry this is happening. I wish everyone could understand that mental health is as crucial to maintain as physical health. Even if a health problem is "just in the mind," that doesn't mean it isn't REAL and can be ignored without serious consequences. Hope you can get the help you need. ♥️
I get it but even though I haven’t been in that position where I go to the psych ward I can simply say that sexual assault is real y’all. I went through something similar at age between 3-4. I think I blocked myself that I can talk about it like nothing happened or if it doesn’t bother me. It sucks and it’s an addition to many other things you’re already going through or already have gone through. For me it’s hard to find inspiration motivation and willpower to change, fully accept compliments and take them to heart in a good way, to forgive and forget other including myself. I’m a people pleaser over pleasing myself.
It would best to change your name, people who knows you in your real life may read your comment.
I wish you and your daughter the best
Her explanation of why she doesn't want to get help is exactly my experience. My parents were exactly the same. I didn't want to feel that way anymore so I went anyway behind their back. Thankfully, I live in a country where I don't have the same struggles to find and get help as in the US. I finally figured out what was going on and I'm getting treated for it. My parents still don't accept it but I need to do what's best for me.
im glad you were able to continue despite your parents' wishes
What country u live in?
You go girl!!! Keep going and keep getting better.
In the US sometimes there’s a struggle to find help, but trust me a lot of providers here do push their patrons seek help from a therapist or a psychiatrist. A lot of my patients have one or the other. It just takes some time to find the right therapist who fits your needs.
Your parents are so against the idea of depression and therapy bc they probably see it as a failure on them. That they weren’t good enough parents. That’s on them, not you. Good for you, sending good thoughts your way! ❤
Parents need to stop putting so much pressure on their kids. School was actually harder for me than work. A lot of parents don’t understand and don’t like discussing negative things but as a parent, you are there to support your kids not just physically but emotionally.
Absolutely agree. My parents always say “I’d rather go back to school than ever do work”, but being in school is so hard. In person there is bullying and constant stress of forgetting things because if you forget one paper you get whatever% off the actual grade and you don’t get any sleep because you’re stressing over grades and tests and waking up on time and you’re exhausted..
But I’ve had jobs before. Not much, but still! I’ve worked in animal shelters and heard many stories about work from other people-there aren’t grades, you don’t have to stress about tests, none of that. You just have to do your job. Of course, there are more stressful jobs out there, but still! School causes stress like no other, and can really take a toll-if your parents are disappointed in you for getting stressed or depressed, thats on them. They should be there for you! They brought you into this world and now have a responsibility-care about your kid, because they wont succeed without that help!
@@caramelcopcat Agreed. And you don’t even get paid for the stress school brings you. At least you get paid when you work and have some independence. I also don’t like how parents complain kids are expensive in front of their kids and guilt trip kids for existing. It’s not the kids fault. Why don’t you think about how expensive kids are before you have them? Stop treating your kids like something to use/ show-off or a retirement plan.
@@caramelcopcat truthfully and honest with u my mom still wants me go back to school after i graduated i refuse she won't even let me get a job because she believes my job coach over me
Amen
I disagree, far too many parents have too little interest in their kids. A little nore pressure would make fewer burnouts.
As a person who has gone through a similar process, they did a great job showing the stigma behind mental health in certain cultures.
I remember when I told my parents I was depressed. Their first reaction was to tell me how fantastic my life was. Their second reaction was to guilt me with how it was making them feel. Their third reaction was to angrily shout at me and call me ungrateful.
After that my teen years became 10x worse. Any time I was even slightly mopey around them they'd immediately start yelling at me to smile and have a positive attitude. They also began to track any time I spent away from the house and routinely tell me I couldn't go out. If I came home late from something my mother would be in hysterics, furiously saying how afraid she was I killed myself.
I realize they must have been pretty profoundly mentally ill themselves to behave like that but now as I near turning 30, after spending my 20s dealing with addiction and self harming the second I was out from under their watchful eyes (and yes a few not-alive attempts) I'm positive I'll never see them again unless I'm forced to by something important.
Mine told me i was exagerating and that others have it worse and i just need to auto educate myself... i just ignored them and went to therapy ,even now they say i'm exegerating
My dad told me my anxiety & depression were all in my head. I told him, "Duh." He never understood any of it, never really tried to help by joining in family therapy, but he worried a lot and my parents spent thousands on mental health when insurance didn't cover something. He didn't think I was making things up, he just didn't get it and I admit it was hard to explain a lot of what I felt because I didn't understand myself sometimes. It's all super frustrating because later he admitted he was depressed but he did nothing to try and fix it. IDK. It does help to know I'm not the only one that had dealt with this kind of issue. I wish I'd known that better when I was young.
@@andievecchione9315 Sometimes I wish they would experience it for just a few months so that they'd finally understand the pain.
@@shurinhaha Later on, my mother suffered from depression because she had severe scoliosis, Parkinson's, and things were just going badly. She told me she finely understood and while I appreciated that, I'm sad she had to deal with that and her poor health.
Gator hator: I absolutely felt your comment I grew up exactly like you described. It was very unbearable and I couldn’t only a 100 on my exams , idk if it’s just an Asian stigma or not but those of us who grew up with parents like this and where over achieving was pressured , I believe these kinds of people should not have children. I look at my own children who do sometimes struggle. I can’t even imagine being like that towards them . How we’re we put through that is crazy !
If you have driven your child to the point of clearly believing that you will hate them or think they are weak or spewing family secrets because they are mentally ill or not in the right place? To the point that you care more for your status and image over your own child's health and happiness? You failed as a parent. And you need to work on that before it's too late.
Ya, very true.
Unfortunately it's true in alot of religious or cultural households.
Also a generational thing
Don't wait for Asian parents to understand
They love thinking they're as perfect as God Himself,so why would they change?
It is too late. Abuse is irreversible.
@@nevaehhamilton3493 the point isn't to reverse but to change and manage. Parents can change his they approach their kids and manage their behaviours
That was my mom. When I first started therapy telling secrets and lies about the family. But deep down inside she knew I need help before things got worse and she let me get the help I needed . She’s seen an improvement not only in my behavior/general mood but how I traverse this world and our relationship. Before we couldn’t talk to each other without fighting now, we can talk to each other with civility
I was in a very similar situation as her. I had therapy sessions in secret so my family wouldn't find out. If they did, I'd be labeled as crazy. In the Vietnamese community, (or mine, at least) Anyone who goes to a mental health professional is deemed crazy, and rumors spread about you and your family, like it's wild fire. I was terrified of being judged, or abandoned by my own family. It came to a point where I had to choose between my family, or my health/happiness. Everyone kept saying that I am better off just leaving and never seeing them again, but I refused because they are my family, and they raised me. It's all I ever knew. Me leaving felt like I tore my arm off. I was scared that if I couldn't handle being on my own, I'd have to go back home and face the consequences. Fortunately, me leaving was a wake up call to them, and they began treating me better. We still talk frequently, and I come to visit. But we agreed, I'd never go back and live there ever again.
Hi, I am glad you feel better, you are a humble gorgeous unique human being. DO NOT GIVE UP love yourself. I will pray, ask our creator to keep you under his wings. Thank you for expressing your feeling's, it will get better, even if you fail...stand up again, start again and again NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ok 💐💞
Cố lên bạn nhé
As a Vietnamese person, I agree with you. My mom told me that people who are treated for depression, suicidal idealization, and/or other kinds of mental illnesses would be denied access to universities and can't get a job. That stuff isn't true. A school staff member at my high school had to lecture her about the truth and that her views were very ableist.
Daft question and I don't mean to upset anyone, but how would the wider community find out if you went for therapy? You or your parents wouldn't exactly trumpet this around the neighborhood would you, and the fact that you had therapy in secret shows that it can be done without anyone finding out. It's like a girl going to a gynecologist - you wouldn't exactly spread that around the neighborhood either. In the West people tell everyone because it's like a badge of honor now to have therapy or be on medication for depression, but if you keep quiet about it - how could anyone find out? Or is the patient confidentiality not that great in nVietnam, or would your parents tell all the relatives?
For some jobs you might have to declare your medical history though when you apply for them, so be aware of that. Anything that involves responsibility for other people's lives, such as pilot or professional driver etc, at least here in the West they check one's medical history and if one has ever had therapy, one doesn't get accepted for such jobs.
@@LittleKitty22 gossip is the word
“I have a good life, I shouldn’t have depression”. This was the exact thinking that kept me from believing I could have depression. It took someone telling me that it doesn’t have to have a reason to realize I needed to go get help
As a Pakistani born person I can feel her pain on a very personal level, first we fear what our community will say, what our family will say, second we feel this constant need to pretend like everything is okay when in reality, as she said, it's hard getting out of bed in the morning and remembering all the responsibilities and expectations that are put on us to be our best selves...
This whole dialog of, "What will people say" , and "I don't wanna disappoint my family" is imbedded into our brains at a very young age... It makes us feel worthless and useless because we can't be our true selves... Depression is normal, just because some people see is as a sign of weakness doesn't mean that that's all it is... People hurt themselves, take their own lives because they have no one to talk to...
I am a doctor but i am also on treatment for depression nothing to be ashamed out
same, im pakistani too and it sucks to know that there's no easy way to leave that community. if i be myself as an lgbtq person, it'll put a bad image on my parents and they will berate me. if i run away, it'll put a bad image on my parents and my mom will get very depressed. if i don't be myself, i'll never be happy. i'm still not sure how i'll leave but hopefully i'll figure it out. it sucks to have such a great effect on a community
I'm indian and this is exactly what happens. Its drilled into our heads from such a young age. It's always about what other people think, even at the expense of our mental health
Some depressed Pakistani girls will be murdered in an honor killing just for being depressed.
This is me, I'm currently unable to sleep and function and I've bought sleeping pills secretly and take them before bed to cope. If my parents found out, they would make it into such a big deal like I'm doing something illegal.
I'm from a white family and my mother is the same way. Doesn't believe in therapy. Doesn't believe in "bringing up the past". Denies anything is wrong with me despite being diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with chronic PTSD from childhood trauma. This mother accepting her daughter needs help hit me hard. I hope this is what the future holds and not just fiction for most people.
i have ptsd but my mom doesn't believe it because she my stepmom and my dad who saw it all
not to mention she denies everything i'm sorry but i'm not gonna have a mother in my life who tells lies about what happen
narcissistic parents are like this. it’s not that they don’t believe in it, it’s that they don’t want it to take control away from them
The way she said 'I need help' absolutely broke me. Made me cry instantly.
I've been suffering from depression since i was 16, i'm now 23 .
I'm much better now but it took me too long to ask for help. Even now i don’t know if it was because i was ashamed because i 'didn’t have a reason to feel depressed', scared of my parents reactions, or because i had too much pride to ask for help. or maybe it was all of the above.
But like i said i feel a bit better now but i wish i had the strength to ask for help earlier.
This made me all misty-eyed. I have clinical depression and usually, I just try to tough it out. But there are days when I just feel like it would be better if I just died and that I wouldn't be such an annoyance to people if I wasn't around.
It's tough to admit that you need help because you think people would judge you. I finally decided to seek therapy and get medication for it and I've been doing so much better.
It's still hard, but I'm not thinking about dying anymore.
"She won't -- love me the same."
This girl is correct to think this way.
When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in college (then called manic depressive disorder), my parents treated me even worse than before we knew exactly what my problem was. Everything I did and said was scrutinized under the microscope of "It must be because of their mental illness", and if I didn't follow every little order they gave, it was automatically, "Have you taken your meds today?"
I accept that there are actually understanding, genuinely loving, and caring parents out there . . . but some of us didn't or don't have them.
I fully understand her reluctance, because I went through what she feared the most -- to become an embarrassment to her parents -- someone to shun and hide from the world. A failure of their own making.
Sometimes seeking help becomes a worse hell than the disorder.
I can relate. My family doesn't treat me the same since my diagnosis. I don't think they understand mental illness, my grandparents sorta just expect me to figure it out myself. I get care in the form of a conversation about "doing things".. I have to do this, go do that, make practical steps. Get help for myself, make a dozen life changes, if I hate the situation just get out of it. Stop doing it. Do something. Sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming it's not possible to 'do things.' Sometimes I just need someone to calm me down, be there, check up on me, communicate, be present regularly and available habitually, not just when I'm falling apart. And that isn't ... I think the emotional upset scared them off. I think they don't care about me, so much as I'm their grandaughter and they should care.
yup. same here. my family also thinks that the meds i take should have cured me. it doesnt work that way
I told my parents I spent 11 days in a psych ward but they treated me like their crazy child from then on. Made things far worse
The young actress is so good, so real, I'm moved to tears! Wishing her a brilliant career if she decides to keep being an actress
this really hit me. during my struggle with depression, when i told my parents, i just looked at my dad and said the same thing she did. "I'm sorry, I need help."
I said something similar over the summer. I believe my words were “I want to go to the [mental] hospital” while the actual mental hospital would “be a bad fit” for me according to dad (who I suspect is a narcissist), I did get help and therapy.
When I was crippled by a panic attack after a series of painful events, the only thing I could think to do was to call my mom. I'm glad I did. She talked me down and then did all the legwork to find me a doctor. All I had to do was call to make the appointment. She and my dad helped me through years of ups and downs as I went through treatment for anxiety and depression. Parents, don't make your child's illness about you. Get them the help they need. I'm doing really well now, and my relationship with my mom (my dad passed a few years ago) is very strong.
The state of mental health care in this country is terrifying. After the way I have been treated in a number of different hospitals, I will never ask for help again. Mental patients are treated like they are stupid, they are less than, or they are bad because of their behavior.
It's so weird like they always say get help but I did and therapy did not help me, the meds make me numb ive gained like 100lbs, my doctor only wanted me to go back to work asap and my pay was 70% but I still had all my expenses. There literally was no point, I was better off getting fired at that point! So now I just suck it up and if I get fired so be it.
When she started listing them off, I just felt so much pain because of the truth of it all, the worst times of my day are getting up and trying to go to sleep and I feel so tired all the time.
Everyone should be able to get the proper help they need when it comes to mental health. I went through my worst patch of depression when I lived by myself for the first time last year, and when I was working at my last job I couldn't feel any joy in what I was doing at all even though it was a temporary job. I took more days off than I ever had for a job in my life, and that was why I was fired. I feel that even though your employer doesn't have to consider your mental health, they really should because ultimately if they don't have employees that can function with a healthy mind, they won't be productive and it doesn't make it any better. People always say mental issues are in your head or for attention or that it'll go away eventually when you get used to it, and those kinds of comments fill me with rage and disgust because my own depression and anxiety hinders my life as it does for many others. Learning to handle something a bit better with treatment isn't the same as "it'll go away" or anything like that. These are real problems that people suffer with and people feel like they're not heard or can't tell anyone because of what they think someone else will think about them. It can be a very sensitive topic to speak up about, and I've been there myself because I didn't want to guilt someone with my problems.
Take care, seek help, and please speak up about your mental health because you deserve help and love. ♥️
This was a truly beautiful clip. I don’t understand…stigma or not why you wouldn’t want your child to be happy and healthy
Annie, I cant speak for other culture but for Cambodian, there is no words to describe Depression, the closest thing i can think of is the word Crazy. Alot of poor countries dont know this, the mean force is to get food, stat alive so when living in a best country like USA and having depression (crazy) is just not a thing, cant be. Just how the parents/older gen is. Im speaking from first hand experiences. 🙂
Seeing this comment section with so many stories and shared emotions is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. What makes me sad though, is that there are so many that can no longer share these stories due to stigmas. I genuinely feel inspired to make change in another's life, and I hope others feel the same way.
This just broke me.. Hits hard when you understand the struggle. Thank goodness she’s gonna get help.
All who need help, should get the help they need. Always.
Being on your parents' insurance can suck. Yes, even if she just got meds, they'd know what the meds were.
Not really. They could’ve given her a med that may be used for other things like pain or migraines and other things that could be an easy excuse.
Pretty sure being on other people's insurance doesn't mean they can see your health records
@@16poetisa but they can see what’s being billed to the insurance which would tell them generally what they were saw for at the minimum.
@@bubbles7398 Yeah, I'm not sure about the specifics re: HIPPA, billing codes seem like something that ought to be private, but maybe they're not 😔
Medicare Anna oooop
Man I was holding my tears back the whole time but I had waterfalls on my face after she told her mom she needs help
I remember that one day in University, I was very stressed because of an assignment and a job I had that time. No one understood my situation and all day I felt like on the edge of crying. How ironic, that the topic we covered touched on mental health. The assignment for that class was due on that day and I couldn’t get myself to do it so after class, I talked to my lecturer, and I immediately started crying. I was crying out for help but he didn’t notice. I told him about everything and he still didn’t get it. He told me that I shouldn’t be this upset and that I should put some makeup on and fix my hair to look nicer. I was crying out for help and through all the lecturers I had, I felt like he would have been the one to notice any signs. He never did and I will remember that conversation for the rest of my life.
Dude that’s messed up :( it’s so hard to ask for help I don’t get it wh. The signs are there and they don’t care
I was days away from unaliving myself, (a few years ago, i am doing okay these days) and i did a last ditch desperate cry for help, after years of begging for it. My mother, a genuinely lovely and loving woman finally heard me, and said "I thought you were smarter than that." I did get help, but by the skin of my teeth.
This made me tear up… she hit every mark … every nail on the head
the ending had me. 😢😢 this is why I support my daughter no matter what. I want her to know it's okay to fail sometimes.
As a mental health professional and a person diagnosed with major depression this is such an accurate depiction of depression..almost brought me to tears when she explained how it felt and when she communicated her needs to her mother. Well done 👍
I felt this poor girl, I feel the same way. It’s hard growing up with parents that you’re afraid to disappoint because they judge you.
Wow that poor girl and What's more painful is that there are billions of kids who feel this way and it's heartbreaking.
Oh man. This was done really well. One of those things that gives you words you wish you had earlier, sums up a lot of common feelings. And I really like “We all need help”, perfect line.
Out of no where THE MOMENT she started to describe her depression tears were already going, because i knew the moment they mentioned not getting out of bed was to real for me that i wish my parents could understand that its not about resposibilty or time that helps our depression its relief of being understood.
I feel her on a level I can’t explain. My father is someone I’m afraid to even ask for help because I’m so used to being told “it’s an excuse” by him and the arguments are not even worth my mentality anymore to reason with him. It hurts, not just a pinch. A whole truck.
Everything she's saying is accurate about depression. I felt that because I live with it every day.
Wow, this was rough to watch. My mother ended her life due to depression when I was 15. It was very rough for her I imagine having to raise an autistic kid as a single parent while battling homelessness and addiction at the same time. I blamed myself quite a lot for her death which led to me battling my own depressive thoughts of ending my life and addiction for several years. Being adopted into a very different and abusive environment didn't help either. Neither in my mothers life nor mine so far were we ever able to reach out to other family members as it proved to be very toxic. I'm 20 now and I still struggle with day to day life but I feel myself getting better. Becoming a future father has brought me new meaning to life. I've never spoke to anyone on how I feel but seeing everyone here talk about their journey inspired me to post mine. And hey, to whoever might read this, I'm sorry for what battles you're going through and I hope for you all to overcome them.
- A stranger
In real life cps would have been called asap but it's a nice representation of how hard it is to go against family and culture in regards of mental health
Parents came from the Philippines. I was born in Canada. Growing up they always hinted towards the typical doctor and lawyer career. It was never my thing so I went to college taking construction engineering and management and now I'm a union carpenter with my own side business and never regretted my decision. They eventually stopped pushing towards the other careers after I started taking care of them and some bills. Im not perfect but I put in the work and they were happy because I was happy.
i’ll always be grateful to my parents. the second i told them something was wrong, they immediately got me therapy and are still there every step of my recovery. they pay my therapy, drive me to all my appointments, pick up my medication, support me, and they just worry. they’re involved in my therapy and in my progress goals. they support me in every way they know and they’re understanding when my moods cause me to lash out at anyone standing near me. i’ve improved so much because of them.
I felt for the girl, because she was unhappy, depressed, stressed, and she was afraid her parents would know. The Indian doctor told his colleagues it's about shame and that's very true.
And finally the mother showed she understond and loved her daughter. The love was so clear here.
My sister was adopted from South Korea and it's the same with her. She's not depressed at the moment, but she has that sense of general shame about not knowing things so either she pretends to know or she keeps insisting a wrong thing is wright. She simply cannot admit she is wrong about something.
This hit hard for me , I was there at one point and everything portrayed was exactly how I felt. Years have passed and I finally talked to my parents. Now I look back and realize how dark it was back then. I've come long away and realize that i can't be perfect cause no is perfect. To accept myself and that it's okay to ask for help.
I cried because I know first hand how it feels, to be admitted in a phyco ward and still not get the help that I needed only to be fed pills that prevented me from being human. I wouldn't wish that on anyone
Me too psych wards don’t help anybody they just feed people pills and make them traumatize it only made me trust the mental health care system less a lot less
@@thehighpriestess2400 Trust me, i pray that my kids don't ever have to feel depressed about anything
@@jayjanilleheslop8074 but also pray that if they are they can find comfort with you, just love them thru the ups and downs of life
Our parents don't want to listen to us, listen to what we feel. They always think and say that they are always right. My sister, brother and me are angry to our father because he bullies us, verbally. That hurts me so much to hear the words he is saying about my siblings. Therefore, you can see in our actions that we always distance ourselves from him and don't respond normally and comfortably to whatever he says. They called our actions and they get angry at us. How will they know the reason why we are acting like this if they dont even want to listen to us? To listen to feelings, our side, our thoughts?
I suffered anxiety for almost 6 years and just 3 years ago, I was a happy that I can finally overcome anxiety but now, it came back. So does the thoughts.
The only thing that we want for our parents to do for us RIGHT NOW is to LISTEN to us and UNDERTSAND and LOWER THEIR PRIDE. Because based on their reactions when we are asking them to listen to us, what they understand in the word "LISTEN" is that we are giving them lessons, that we reprimand them WHICH IS NOT TRUE, we just want our voice and feelings to be heard.
Then, our father wants us to say sorry to him. Are we the only one and are we the one who made mistake in the first place? If only he doesnt say such things that are degrading, talking about our past mistakes again behind our backs, judging us, and saying bad things as if we don't exist - YES WE HEAR THEM, AND WE HAVE FEELINGS, WE GET HURT, WE GET ANGRY.
But because of their pride, and how super high they see about their role as parents, they won't even recognize, realize, and accept their mistakes. We are not perfect, NO ONE IS.
Yes, in the country I lived there is this toxic culture - us, who are younger than them, have no right to say something because if we do, they are considering it as "talking back at them".
PLEASE LISTEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
One thing I observed about my parents (YES, BOTH OF THEM) is that they don't care about mental health problems. Well, they only care about themselves.
Just because you don't experience any mental health problems, doesnt mean that you should neglect it, that you should take it as a joke. Why? Did you ever LISTEN?
Calling out to all parents to please take good care of your children, and give them enough love and support. Don't be there for them just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
Sending love to all❣️
If only my parents could read this right now , this encompassed how I truly feel at home rn.
Your parents need help too! (classic signs of narcissistic personality disorder).
I totally understand this. In my country that's still new in the process of accepting mental health, a lot of people are afraid to seek help even when they need it because others say they're just overreacting.
First and foremost, if a child tried to commit suicide, she is going inpatient mental health facility. Assuming that the hospital in the show had their own psych facility, they can give therapy there. The parents do not have a say if their child attempted suicide to refuse treatment. After treatment for the initial attempt where she no longer meets inpatient level of care and is discharged, the parents then could technically refuse. I've had many parents threaten (I conduct psych assessments in hospitals) to take their child home after they've seriously harmed themselves or contemplated it with continued ideation and no means to keep safe. We call CPS on those families and file against them if they do continue to try to encourage their children to lie during assessments to seem like they are better when they are not. It is not ethical to encourage the kid to lie and defraud the hospital and hold that secret, and lie to their parents about therapy as they are the ones who have to live with their parents and that lie. Yes, getting mh treatment is 100% needed but you cannot hold that responsibility to lie on the kids shoulder
what country do you live in?
Cognitive distortions are a really hard thing to cope with. Her mother still loved her the same. She just needed to understand the help her daughter needed.
"We all need help" I wish I would have heard that from my mother when I was in the hospital
So many ethical issues with this....Please, don't do this to a patient, like, ever. Telling her mom about her mental health issue (4:35) is a serious breach of confidentially. Really bad representation of the health care system:( I don't want people to be turned away because of this.
They are a underage. They do have a responsibility to tell the parents that their kid tried to kill themselves. They don't need to share every detail of the convo a kid had with them but in order to understand the continued risk and understand what led to it, doctors can absolutely tell parents what happened. Doctors can also enforce mental health treatment against parents wishes in cases like this (I work in the ER doing psych assessments and have many parents who try refusing treatment for their kid who attempted suicide).
im cofused on which version is true... where do you find the legalities of it ?
@@selladore4911 in the US. In cases where a patient is a direct safety threat to themselves or others, whether do to homicidal, suicidal, or lack of ability to care for self (psychosis, extreme bipolar, or even lack of ability to care for self - like dementia where patient is being dangerous) psychiatrists can force treatment on a patient for the purpose of stabilization until the patient is at a place that they can be discharged safely. There are (sadly) some patients who are so mentally ill they cannot live in the community safely for themselves or others and can be in hospital settings for a long while. A suicide attempt, especially a minor, is basically a mandated psych hospitalization even if the parents are against it. I've filed with DCF/CPS on parents who try forcibly refusing their child mental health treatment when it is clear they are not safe to d/c
uh, didn’t she tell the doctors to tell her parents? she said “i’m sorry i couldn’t go behind my moms back” which i assume entails that she eventually gave in and told them to tell her parents the truth.
I still remember the day i told my parents i need help with my mental health. Luckily enough i caught my mom in a very fragile state when it comes to the subject of therapy, because some friend of her told her stories about people who didn't go to therapy and ended commiting all kinds of things. It was hard, my parents tried to help me first, before letting me into therapy. And that's pretty nice, but having no experience with this they were just pouring salt on the wound. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and moderate sociophobia, so sure enough, mom telling me that in the and we all die at some point (in the moments when i was having a monstrous anxiety attack) or telling me that she doesn't understand how come i feel bad, i just have to appreciate life more just made me seek out a therapist as soon as possible.
I just had to withdraw from college for the semester because of an autoimmune disorder that manifested as severe fatigue and depressive affect. I wanted to solve it myself so badly that I cut myself off from everyone for about 7 months. I wanted to end my existence. But my parents threatened to fly down to school until I told them why I wasn’t talking to them. Despite the fact that I know that mental health is a valid reason for getting help, I kept apologizing for having to get help. I felt so much relief when I found out that my problems were largely due to my physical disease. I fully understand the shame surrounding mental health because even though my family is filled with mental health advocates, I was worried that I would disappoint them because I was suffering. I’m now getting treatment for my disease and going back to therapy for my anxiety.
My dad has been diagnosed but my mom says that mental illness isn’t real, so even though my dad thought I had depression I could never get therapy. Now that I’m off my mom’s insurance I’m still too scared to go to therapy to see if I have anything.
GO! Do NOT let someone else's delusions stop you from getting help. Dont let her hang-ups become yours. The brain is an organ and like any organ it can malfunction and need treatment to get back on track. Older generations need to grow up and accept reality.
I am a living failure and burden, so I don't feel like I deserve help, but for the last years, I have been depressed. My situation is so similar to this girl because of how much I am afraid of my parents. I wish I could get help as she did, but if I attempt, my parents will destroy me more.
You are NOT a failure or a burden! This might be hard to accept but sometimes we have to choose to distance from toxic family members in order to avoid being poisoned ourselves.
Thanks. This is actually what happened to me after my pathetic attempt. It’s something that could never really be put into words to be understood by other people. That feeling. The desperation and the knowing that you’re being illogical and being helpless against your mind
This made me cry, I've had chronic depression since I was 12 but have been dealing with passive suicidal thoughts since I was only 7 years old and those passive thoughts became active a few times. Being 28 now I've been working through some of my trauma for about 3 years, but I still have a long way to go. I've always ended up dealing with it myself, I've tried therapy and counseling and while I liked them it did nothing for me. I've developed the unique ability of objectively analyzing myself, my past, thought patterns, ect. With this I've been able to pin point the roots of some of the trauma, I've also gained the ability to simulate counseling in my own mind. Using this in conjunction with my analysation is how I began to HEAL. Even now I'm analyzing, which is why this has sort of turned into word vomit. 😕 Sorry.
Gay
All the best my dear. I hope u get better soon. Life is so precious and I hope u can get to a place where you realise that. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. May God be with you.
@@rianamohamed300 I'm doing far better than I was I'm actually healing from my traumas. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm healing.
parks glad to know.
I'm only 14 and I felt this way since I was 10. I know how to get help and where because a friend that I made said she goes to therapy and her parents accepted her. I already know my parents aren't that way though so I'm not sure what to do. They'll need to know if I'm in therapy if I go. I wish there was some other way like my older siblings only knowing. Since they're over 18
This is honestly my comfort clip, it reminds me that we all deserve help and to be healthy and that there is nothing wrong or shameful about asking for it because those who truly love you will stand by your side every step of the way
I hope you realize you’re helping others by telling us this. I admire your honesty.
I loved that ending.
Kids have so much pressure these days and it's unfair. Kids need to be free to be kids.
I remember being in this situation with my own mom. I thought she wouldn’t understand. But then one night as we were talking about my issues she asked me, “Do you think you might be depressed?” I broke down. She took me to a psychiatrist and therapist and got me on medication that helped. She is always the first person to know when I’m in a bad place. I love my mom ❤
I lost my mom a year ago. She struggled with depression, and she saw me going downhill. She drove to my college campus one day to meet up with me and pretty much force me to go see the counselor. And she supported me through eventually seeing a psychiatrist and getting on antidepressants. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my mom before that, and the meds made me feel totally different about it. I miss her so much.
@@KnapfordMaster98 I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you were able to have a good relationship with her and be open with her
Man I wish my mom and family was that understanding, glad I’m an adult now and can get professional help for my mental health.
I don't know why I like her hair on her😆
At 19, I was placed on a 51/50 but I was in the hospital before being transferred because I tried to OD. In the hospital, nobody talked to me and a security guard sat near the door and guarded me like a prisoner.
I also had no insurance and they transferred me via ambulance in the middle of the night. My hospital bills came out to be over 15k. My poor parents.
I learned to never tell anyone about my problems or thoughts ever again after this.
I am so thankful that I have such supportive parents who have helped me through my mental health journey. They took me to a group home to get therapy, they took care of me when I was so depressed I couldn’t care for my basic needs and they pay for some of my bills since I can’t work enough to support myself. I would not be here if it wasn’t for my parents.
Having come from a very similar background I understand this pressure. Luckily I've learned to manage it as I got older, but Ive seen how it affects others who have it worse. If only it's this easy for families to accept this as a problem that can be resolved, but the difference in culture can be tragically steep...
As someone that deals with major depressive disorder, I’ve reached out for help over and over again, all with no success. I’ve been hospitalized many times because of suicide attempts, had ECT, dealt with so many social workers, doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists that actually don’t care. Even though the stigma of mental health issues is alive and well in society, it’s even worse in the medical community. Honestly, asking for and getting help are two different things. After years of failed requests for help, I’ve accepted the fact that I have to deal with this alone. A sad but true situation.
It's so sad that this is literally every Asian kid's life, but without the considerate parents.
As an asian myself, even without asian parents that raised me (because I was adopted as a baby to white parents) this is not every Asian child's life. I suffered from depression to the point where I almost took action to kill myself and could never see my own self worth since I was never a good student or was particularly good at anything like everyone else I knew. The stigmas around asian families with honor and reputation exist, sure, but they shouldn't be the only reason why some families have issues with mental health. Anyone can suffer from depression and it happens for many reasons and is sadly extremely common in our world. My point is that I don't exactly think its exactly nice when people say these kinds of things because it's the common stigma.
@@cd0202 Honestly, as an Asian, with Asian parents, living in Asia, this is not a stigma. It is actually really true. I was suffering from depression and panic attacks for almost a year, within which my parents only saw three panic attacks, all of which they called 'drama' and 'looking for attention'. And sadly, this is the case with almost all of my peers, who are again Asian, with Asian parents, living in Asia. The parental pressure is sky high, to the point where multiple friends of mine and I almost ended our lives. For Asian parents, their children must be picture perfect. All they care about is your grades, and they refuse to accept or believe that children can have mental health issues. The worst part is that they sympathize with other kids, but remain oblivious to their own. For instance, when my parents were going through some extreme marital issues, they decided to speak to a counselor, and my mom straight up told me that I didn't need sessions as well, since I was just a kid, and it cost a lot of money. And when I finally had a huge, almost half an hour long panic attack and opened up to my parents, they kept asking me about my studies and telling me to focus on it, rather than understanding that it was due to their pressure and extreme controlling that I was depressed. I have been multiple times about how I'm such a disappointment, and would most likely fail in life, just because my grades weren't up to par with what they wanted.
So no, I don't think it's a stigma attached to Asians, but rather, reality itself.
I have the upmost sympathy for those who have issues like you, i really do. I feel very fortunate to have grown up in a different environment and i never take it for granted. I have experienced panic attacks, anxiety, and depression firsthand for around 5 years and it showed me how badly mental health can effect people in their lives. Despite what my parents thought or at least what i thought they did, i always felt that they seemed to not want to always jump in to help as much when they realized what was wrong when i was acting out unlike my normal self, which took a long time. I wish more parents would stop to think of how their children feel and to realize that no one is perfect no matter what and that they should encourage their child with positivity and not criticize them for not meeting their own standards which will only make it worse when they do that.
Sorry if I said something to make you mad or seem ignorant to you. The episode really hit close to home for me and i teared up seeing how scared she was.
I shouldn't have even said anything, I can't speak with true experience like others can on this subject and I have no space to talk about this. Really sorry.
@@cd0202 The episode hit home for me too. And this is a completely open platform, so don't worry about speaking your heart out. We all just have different experiences, and I truly hope that you are better now. Don't ever be sorry to speak out. You're opinion ALWAYS matters☺
The acting of the girl is so good
When she said I'm sorry I need help made me cry because I have extremely server depression. And her mum is a star
speaking as someone with depression, this hits the core :,) I relate to her so much makes me wanna cry ToT
This made me cry. I have severe psychotic depression and psychosis. I needed someone like him when I was a child being abused, witnessing horrific stuff like, being forced to wake up and see my mum almost beaten to death or just battered every night. Because of this I became the same woman my mum was, thinking it was normal I was abused except I protected my kids and kept quiet through everything that happened to me... So they didn't hear me getting hurt bad by their father. I'm 37, 12yrs free from that abuse but I'm left with the damage. I've never recieved any help and only feel emotiinally around my children.
I cried. Anyone else ? Just the fact someone was able to listen to her and cared.
This made me cry. I was raised in a family that didn't believe in mental health issues, or they were just seeking more attention. I am bi polar with rapid cycling. I so wish my parents could have learned it is true so I could have gotten help so much younger.
Her acting is so beautiful, reminds me of a real life situation I’ve experienced
i remember that for the past four years of my life, my thoughts have been exactly like that. I finally decided to get help. I had believed that because i had a loving family, a good financial situation and essentially a perfect harmonized lifestyle that i had no right to be depressed, and that it was pathetic of me to think like that. But, I'm human, and i realized that as a human, i have every right to my thoughts, my emotions and my suffering. I'm now in a better place, i also have meds to help with my anxiety and depression. It lowkey makes me feel numb, and i do sometimes feel like a burden or pathetic for needing medication and therapy, but it's working, and I'm slowly becoming human again. I'm slowly staring to not just be alive, but rather to live. I painted again yesterday for the first time in years, and it felt really nice.
I feel for this girl, I have been battling in silence with my depression for years and its because I don't trust doctors or psychiatrist and I don't want pills that will exacerbate my depression symptoms.
understandable but these people do want to help, some are assholes but you gotta find the right person. And personally for the meds it only lasts for a little while but you always have the option to change your meds or the dose. It’s not like you’re forced to do anything you don’t wannna do.
Find someone who specializes in human microbiology.
Therapist only want money anyway they just read off a PDF without listening 😂
Same how are you doing now?
If only the health care system was actually like this. Instead we're just asked general questions and given pills. Having gone through a psych ward and had sessions with a therapist. I can safely say we're treated like dead weights.
One of the saddest episodes from this show and they have a number tear jerkers!
"Our children aren't perfect
Why should they be?
We arent"😭😭😭😭😭
The problem they may not show is maybe in the heat of the moment, a parent who doesn't understand will soften their heart enough to understand and want to help, but in a lot of cases I see and have been through myself, that moment dissaptes and turns back to the way things were as soon as your not crying anymore. Then some day you can cry and it won't even make a difference, in those cases its called psychological abuse...
Whelp that's really depressing
Admitting you need help is hard when my husband told his mother he was going on antidepressants and counciling she said Can't you just get happy? I avoided antidepressants like the plague even after my baby brother took his own life to my Grandparents having a mental illness was shameful I have been on a regular routine for a decade and a half and went through counseling finally at 45
Just before I saw this episode I had a moment of clarity about my daughters health condition and mental state. It hit me like a ton of bricks. For a long time I’ve been begging her to seek therapy for her anxiety and depression because it is severely affecting her physical health. She has a very serious and rare disorder that is causing other problems also and she has a feeding tube. Despite all the pain she’s in and that she has a small child she continues to make excuses for not getting Therepy. She won’t even do the smallest things to help herself like take probiotics like the doctor recommended and numerous other things. It struck me a few minutes ago that she could be passively allowing herself to die. She knows how much she is loved and how we would all be lost without her. She has promised that she would never “hurt” herself. But maybe it’s that she wouldn’t ACTIVELY hurt herself but she could do it passively. She could sit back and not fight. Not do anything to help herself.
Now I’m freaked out. I doubt she even realizes what she could be doing to herself.
Please pray for her. Jesus knows who she is. Thank you.
I feel the same about asking for anything. I know there is going to be a no as an answer for anything so I don't bother. Mine isn't for mental health, but I am sorry for everyone that is going through this with mental health.
I've struggled all my life with severe mental illness (bipolar and clinical depression.) My mother watched me OD many times. Even at 11. Her solution? "Maybe Daddy could play checkers with you!" It's not cultural; she's just old- school American. I finally begged for help when I was 17. It's been a long journey. 20 years later, I still battle dark feelings, but overall find joy and feel excited to wake up every morning now.
Softened my heart once again, woo *sobs lightly*
In reality, I have never met a doctor that would take the time to talk to the patient for more than a few minutes, much less just listen to the patient, even when they held me over night, thinking I was suicidal.
This episode hit home for me. All throughout highschool I convinced myself there was no way I could possibly be depressed because I had so many good things in life. A good family, a good home, good friends. I was well off, and I felt like I had no need to be depressed. I was an outgoing, fun person. I was already in therapy for my anxiety disorder. Was that not enough? Not only did I convince myself that I couldn't be depressed, but I convinced myself that no one would take it seriously if I said anything. I thought people would think I was ungrateful or self-centered.
After years went by, I had the worst breakdown of my life. My depression was pushed down and penting up for years and then it all came out at once.
I was very thankful and happy that my parents and friends were supportive and understanding. I'm proud to say I'm medicated, still in therapy, and over a year clean of SH!
Yet when I tell my parents theirs too much pressure they tell me to suck it up and deal with it. Last time I told my mom she said I don't have time for that just go with it and keep your head up.
I'm so glad this problem is getting the attention it's getting.
Perfectly displays what depression is, very good acting
1:45 this happened to me and my mom didnt want me to go to therapy because she said i would be crazy im sorry to whoever is going through this and have people in their life who dont understand
Right as she said “she’ll now,She’ll judge me.” I cried
I'm 60 and struggling with depressia & anxiety for 30 years. I don't even know why am I taking pills wenn they do not help. Has anybody ever healed depression/anxiety? PLEASE HELP ME. I have a daughter (30 years old, a single mother like I have been) and I' m afraid she's starting to get the same problem. PLEASE HELP US! ANYBODY? 🙏😭
@@steinbock1962 I'm only 14 years old and I'm not in therapy but I have a friend who is and she's my age. She said she went to her local clinic/hospital and the doctor askes her questions. And then the doctor said she'll be needing therapy and her parents had to know. After that she does therapy every week and she said her therapist is really nice. I hope my parents come to a understanding that I need therapy, I want to make sure I have a good mindset because there's still so much I wanna accomplish. I also don't wanna wait so long
When i was a jr in high school i made a friend and her parents were like this, didnt trust therapy, didnt believe in mental health. I brought her to my guidance counselor and she helped her family get the help my friend needed. I feel horrible for kids and teens with parents that are like this. Every deserves help
I let my husband know that if he or our daughter would ever feel like this I will help them get the help they need. Why? Because I have been in that position where I didn't ask for help because I felt that my family would look at me differently. I'm here for anyone that needs help so if you need it reach out to me and I will help get the resources you need.
I’m not crying you are. This is all way too relatable for me
Did anybody else cry? She listed the things she had to do but couldn't find the motivation to because it wasn't worth it. People are telling and asking when I will start driving, I tell them, "It's personal", when it's more than that. Imagining it as a way to end myself because of the panic/anxiety attack, the how I can't do one simple thing when kids my age can't wait to learn and have their own car, burdening my family to take me to work because I'm so scared to drive anywhere or even sit at the wheel because of the pressure around me, lying awake at night thinking a million things I can't do, and just wondering if I fall asleep forever will it finally stop? (Crying while I'm writing this)
Her speech at the end hit home really hard. That's exactly how it feels.
When the camera pans into the patient and recording the every bit of expression from that actress oh my god it just makes the viewer teary eyed