Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
Great video packed with concrete advice. The story of the family insisting on matching outfits for a group Christmas photo was incredible. It sounded like a cult mindset nightmare under a dictator. While not having experienced quite that awful situation the thought of having even the individuality of clothing choices mandated by an overbearing family system made me realize how often we are forced to 'wear' the opinions, feelings and cultural choices of family systems. The thought of physically throwing off these ghastly uniforms or refusing to put them on crystallized some concepts quite viscerally for me. Thanks very much to both of you for a great discussion video. 😊
We stop borrowing who we are from our partner. Respect for each other to be “who i am”, individually, is a healthy boundary to have. This is joining the Super-Self, when we all have to look the same in a family photo. The story starts with dependence on mom/dad we-ness. But maturity is growing away from we-ness, to i-ness, even though we may at times choose to share ourselves in a we-ness event. At age 2 and at age 13-19 we are learning and practicing i-ness, away from we-ness. When i can not be who i need to be, then we-ness keeps me in bondage and i am not able to grow and change.
Love the concept that we are not born as an “I” and I totally agree that the “I” comes from being under pressure. That’s been my personal experience. Thank you Yitz for the questions to ask yourself when you need more objectivity- totally going to use them 😊
God is a personal God in Christianity, and does promote your growth and maturity, so that insecurities or even certain people, do not run your life. We are susceptible to cults and beliefs of all kinds when we don’t know the identity we have in Jesus Christ, who sets us free from “slavery”, and we make our own healthy choices.
Hello Jerry and Yitz!!! ❤️ great episode! Ah, the undifferentiated ego mass....an especially important topic given today’s issues with so many out there. The undifferentiated ego mass that threatened our ‘I- ness’ in our youth may continue to stalk us into our adulthood. Learning to be a firm ‘I’ in the face of the hive mentality is always a workout. As a former scapegoat in my FoO (Family of Origin) it took me many years of self approval among other methods to affirm the big ‘I’. Once I gained the freedom of a better self- differentiated state, I discovered a strength I never had before. Sometimes one’s accomplishments in becoming better self- differentiated can spell the cooling or loss of familial relationships and friendships. The silver-lining of those ‘losses’ is a strong sense of self and boundaries. It’s not pleasant losing relationships, but sometimes it’s absolutely essential. Thanks Jerry and Yitz!!!
"...my description cannot Fit your tongue, for I have a certain way of being in this world." ~ Maya Angelou My kids and I would be the "I" in the family portrait. I'm okay with that. 💯
The title is already making me feel quite hopeful. I just said it this month and wow did I trigger a bunch of ____. My problem was trying to explain why that’s ok (I didn’t have to and it didn’t work anyway) and feeling guilty for taking a time out from those who can’t stop the contest. I’ve got real living to do. Wow, growing pains for me. I know (I hope) I will look at this differently in the future but I’m very sad anyway.
no they don't at all they will try to change you and have total indifference to your I. they will sometimes even go so far as to contact therapists to demand you conform to their lies using deception and stonewalling and triangulation. it's crazy how some people don't see through it
@@jerrywise i valued this video...i was the odd one for not agreeing to be part of stepsons 21st.. and other history of lies etc..your video reminded me to start making *i* sentences..i had no sense of self
this guy is so insane that when my father would smear me and hit me and steal from me and I confronted him he would say he can't be himself. Jerry is so narcissistic that his own concepts on being yourself mad it so that even with those facts the fact that an abuser said he can't be himself made him decide to enable the abuser
Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027
‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
Great video packed with concrete advice. The story of the family insisting on matching outfits for a group Christmas photo was incredible. It sounded like a cult mindset nightmare under a dictator. While not having experienced quite that awful situation the thought of having even the individuality of clothing choices mandated by an overbearing family system made me realize how often we are forced to 'wear' the opinions, feelings and cultural choices of family systems. The thought of physically throwing off these ghastly uniforms or refusing to put them on crystallized some concepts quite viscerally for me. Thanks very much to both of you for a great discussion video. 😊
We stop borrowing who we are from our partner. Respect for each other to be “who i am”, individually, is a healthy boundary to have. This is joining the Super-Self, when we all have to look the same in a family photo. The story starts with dependence on mom/dad we-ness. But maturity is growing away from we-ness, to i-ness, even though we may at times choose to share ourselves in a we-ness event. At age 2 and at age 13-19 we are learning and practicing i-ness, away from we-ness. When i can not be who i need to be, then we-ness keeps me in bondage and i am not able to grow and change.
Love the concept that we are not born as an “I” and I totally agree that the “I” comes from being under pressure. That’s been my personal experience. Thank you Yitz for the questions to ask yourself when you need more objectivity- totally going to use them 😊
this is a great way to explore aspects of unmasking autism/ adhd
very helpful inside Jerry and yitz, much appreciated.
Nice voice Jerry.
Thank you, guys! You are greatly appreciated!❤
Assumed, presumed & consumed roles. And then came my own thoughts, likes & preferences. Thanks for the great teaching. 👍👍😁
Glad you enjoyed it!
Another great video and topic! I hope you will discuss being differentiated in faith systems and cultures that do not promote self-differentiation.
Great suggestion!
@@jerrywise yes, I second this request 😊
God is a personal God in Christianity, and does promote your growth and maturity, so that insecurities or even certain people, do not run your life. We are susceptible to cults and beliefs of all kinds when we don’t know the identity we have in Jesus Christ, who sets us free from “slavery”, and we make our own healthy choices.
All good teachings produce great fruit 🍑
So nice of you
Hello Jerry and Yitz!!! ❤️ great episode! Ah, the undifferentiated ego mass....an especially important topic given today’s issues with so many out there. The undifferentiated ego mass that threatened our ‘I- ness’ in our youth may continue to stalk us into our adulthood. Learning to be a firm ‘I’ in the face of the hive mentality is always a workout.
As a former scapegoat in my FoO (Family of Origin) it took me many years of self approval among other methods to affirm the big ‘I’. Once I gained the freedom of a better self- differentiated state, I discovered a strength I never had before.
Sometimes one’s accomplishments in becoming better self- differentiated can spell the cooling or loss of familial relationships and friendships. The silver-lining of those ‘losses’ is a strong sense of self and boundaries. It’s not pleasant losing relationships, but sometimes it’s absolutely essential.
Thanks Jerry and Yitz!!!
Very explicit answer to the topic, thanks 👍
Glad it was helpful!
"...my description cannot
Fit your tongue, for
I have a certain way of being in this world." ~ Maya Angelou
My kids and I would be the "I" in the family portrait. I'm okay with that. 💯
I liked the family portrait example...Low volume.Especially Yitz.
I prefer not hearing someone else. Just you, Jerry.
Thanks for the feedback Heather. I have many videos on the channel that are only me that you can enjoy
The title is already making me feel quite hopeful. I just said it this month and wow did I trigger a bunch of ____. My problem was trying to explain why that’s ok (I didn’t have to and it didn’t work anyway) and feeling guilty for taking a time out from those who can’t stop the contest. I’ve got real living to do. Wow, growing pains for me.
I know (I hope) I will look at this differently in the future but I’m very sad anyway.
narcs dont respect an individuals right to be an *I*...
Agreed
no they don't at all they will try to change you and have total indifference to your I. they will sometimes even go so far as to contact therapists to demand you conform to their lies using deception and stonewalling and triangulation. it's crazy how some people don't see through it
@@claytondavis26 yep i drove mine away...i knew i had to save what was left of my sanity after 15 years..
@@jerrywise i valued this video...i was the odd one for not agreeing to be part of stepsons 21st.. and other history of lies etc..your video reminded me to start making *i* sentences..i had no sense of self
Sammy Davis Jr⭐️
When husband says "We are pregnant" 🤔
Huh? We?? Since when?
3 4:58 6
we would mean sometimes not smearing your child and hitting them these are the things he considers we basic consideration for human life
this guy is so insane that when my father would smear me and hit me and steal from me and I confronted him he would say he can't be himself. Jerry is so narcissistic that his own concepts on being yourself mad it so that even with those facts the fact that an abuser said he can't be himself made him decide to enable the abuser