I agree that it is not worth it to reveal that you've cheated. It causes permanent damage to the partner's psyche and irreparable damage to the relationship. Just recognize the wrong in it and move on and don't do it again, or end the relationship.
Um no, telling is the right thing to do. You don't want to be in a relationship and think that everything is great when you were really treated like crap.
No its not the right thing to keep youre infidelities a Secret if you know that cheating is a deal breaker to youre partner. You partner Has got every right to decide for himself if he wants to stay with you after you cheat . Id youre partner said that he would want to know about u cheating then saying that youre not telling them because you dont want to hurt them is just a stupid excuse that you tell yourself when in reality you dont want to face the consequences because u know that youre infidelities is something that youre partner would want to know about. If you know that cheating is a delbraker for youre partner and u cheated and k eept it a Secret because you still want to be with them then youre only doing whats best for U not youre partner . Youre doing something that only works for you not youre partner which shows what a selfish pig you really are
Nothing good comes from confessing for the cheater because then they have to face the consequences of their actions but the betrayed partner gets find out what a pig he/she married and can get a divorce and find someone better but OBVIUSLY WHAT the cheater w ants is more important so the cheater hides his infidelities to avoid consequences.
It’s wrong not to tell because that is not manning up to your mistake. A coward hides stuff, but a real man owns up to his mistakes and does not cheat to begin with. I get what he is trying to say but everything usually comes to light. When it does, if you did not say anything, it will make things way worse and the person will feel way bad than if he/she would of found out earlier. JMO
As a woman, I would rather my husband tell me the whole truth. Both husband and wife are in a covenant relationship. The man most likely will repeat the infidelity if he doesn’t confess to God and his wife. The wife should try and forgive like the bible says but its her choice if she wants to give him a 2nd chance
Husband is to seek God who is forgiving to overcome, wife is to tell her husband who if Christian is forgiving, wife is unforgiving therefore you shall not tell
@@jmkbee5334 Not necessarily. If true repentance to God is wrought from the heart, then that saved person will no longer do that. It is because the seed, which is the word of God, remains in that person.
AIDS, Hepatitis, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, infertility caused by PID, CANCERS caused by HPV, and a Vaginal Parasite called Trichomonas. You SHOULD TELL!
Garbage of advice. Cheated spouse deserves honesty even if it hurts. In a marriage you become 1 and truth and honesty should always be a priority. Keeping a secret is not and should not be part of a marriage. A cheater needs to allow the spouse to make the decision of staying and forgiveness. Not sure who this guy is but gives me narcissistic vibes!
Repentance means you change. Sometimes we have to deal with our stuff between us and God and not put the burden on other people. What you do is ultimately between you and God
It means you are twisted and deceptive. Ignorance is not bliss. The Bible says that people perish for a lack of knowledge, because of ignorance. You are of your father the devil when you hide cheating.
That's a good advice. No one ever said that. Afterall the most important thing is not about telling her out of honesty. It's about true repentance, turning to God and never repeating the act. God would not judge anyone for not telling their spouse for their past infidelity. As a matter of fact He sees your reason for not telling. God judges ppl based on the present condition of their hearts vis-a-vis their past sins. He wants to know that you've genuinely repented from it. That's all that matters to God.
It sounds like you have made yourself your own god. Because Jesus Christ the one God and Savior Hates adultery and provides divorce as a legitimate way of escape for the offended spouse. He does not at all condone concealing your infidelity from your wife.
I actually think the betrayal of not telling the other person the truth of the infidelity, is worse than the act of infidelity itself. It is better to humble yourself and be honest. If a woman cheated on a man, and did not tell him, it would be considered a horrible ordeal as well. Be honest. You have vows when you enter into a marriage, forsaking all others, be honest if there was another person, and don't cheat again.
Words of wisdom, confess to God but don't tell your partner for trust will be destroyed and it will never be repaired.Carrying the burden is punishment in itself, don't lay it on one's spouse. Keep together. Forgiveness is scarce and few people can truly forgive.
what??? its this what the church teaches??? cheating and never confessing to the person you betrayed. you religious people I swear are the most evil ever. digusting. lack of consciousness. god aint gone save yall. you cheat once and never confess your conscience is doomed whether you put it on something invisible in the sky, unicorns aint gone give you forgiveness because you still lack honesty and the emotional bond is broken. if the partner is conscious he or she will be able to know that you lying just by body language. and if they dont is hell on earth you take that shit to the grave must be really nice living in trauma. yall need therapy not god.
It takes strength of character, it takes to be brave to commit to be honest with your SO, and to base your relationship on the truth. The people who can commit to the truth are usually those who can keep themselves from cheating. It usually goes together: the cheater is usually a lier. But not always, thank God.
Worst advice if you are a person with values. Now if you are a shity person of course this is great advice. It's great advice because you want an excuse for cheating and feel better about yourself. If you cheat be honest with your partner, TOTALY HONEST, and let them decide what to do. If you cheat and don't tell you are manipulating the person and don't let them decide what to do. You are stealling their opportunity to move on and find someone better.
I don't know what these people are thinking. If the relationship ends because you cheated and she doesn't trust you THAT'S YOUR FAULT FOR CHEATING. There is literally a biblical standard for cheating where you are permitted to divorce. Hiding it is even worse in my opinion. I don't understand garbage like this. It makes me sick to my stomach. Honesty is what honors God, not hiding sin and shame. The Bible says to confess your sins one to another. Odds are this guy has cheated and this is how he deals with it. This isn't how men should act. This kind of ideology is why women don't trust men. This is just plain foul.
Telling your spouse about your infidelity is what is selfish. Telling the spouse is a way of getting the guilt off your back. You can tell them and feel like you righted your wrong because at least you were honest. Well it doesn't matter if your are honest if you aren't gonna change. It's better to be honest with yourself and honest with God by making that change. By telling the spouse you're putting the hurt and guilt onto them. That's for the cheater's ego to rest. It's better for the cheater to retain the guilt and to correct their ways. They can continue to love their spouse and build a healthy relationship built in trust now that they are living the right way.
If you do cheat tell your other as soon as you can. The pain is in the betrayal and the time of deceit. You increasing that time is like adding pain. Sometimes the suffering is deeper form the years of lies rather then the moment of cheating
Found a video of Jesse’s I disagree with! Still love you man, but you have to be open and 100 percent honest. So if you cheat and don’t tell her your a liar and you build that relationship on a lie.
"A sinner should stand in awe of himself and dread the spy within him." ~E.S. Proust I also want to add that this man is telling you that should run from yourself to save yourself from unfavourable consequences. There is no running from yourself and there is no running from God. The best thing to do is tell the truth and put the consequences in God's hands. Learn from it. Otherwise, your sin will eventually search you out.
No. Your partner deserves honesty from you no matter what. By keeping this a secret, you're taking away their freedom to decide for themselves whether they want to stay or go. That person deserves to know the truth so they can go find someone else who won't do this to them. Also think about sexual health. What if the person who cheated contracted an std & then gave it to their partner without knowing? If you cheat, hiding it from your spouse is selfish & narcissistic of you.
Not admitting is cowardly. Running away from accountability. Yes it would hurt the other person. But the uncomfortable truth the logic of not telling is avoiding is that the cheater is sparing themselves and avoiding consequences. Remember to ask yourself "what does the cheater have to gain or rather keep from not telling?"
Work on fixing yourself first - it may take years. You are broken that's why you cheated. When you think that you're finally ready to share the battle with your loved one, you really need to tell them the truth. Don't plan on taking it to the grave. When you love someone and wants to spend the rest of your life with them,you need to open up your soul to them. It's up to them if they will accept you or not.
Love Yourself - Spoken like one of God's good kids 👑 that is a Kingly quality- honesty and God's guidance 👑 good job bro only cowards lie and run from their deeds thinking they won't have to answer for it to God if they don't repent. Goid job bro, the Kings of integrity stand beside you💪 💪🏿💪🏼💪🏾💪🏽😎🙏🏻🙏🏾🌟
This is so true. I confessed to my infidelity because I believed he deserved the right to be with me or not. He deserved to know what I did , he deserved to know that I betrayed him and deserved to live his life without the chains of my actions.
HORRIBLE ADVICE!!! By keeping that information from your spouse you you take away her ability to consent! If she knew she may refuse to have sexual relations with you. Just because she doesn’t know it at the time doesn’t make it not rape anymore than drugging a girl at a party and date raping her. This is the WORST most cowardly, selfish advice I think I’ve ever heard.
No sir. I completely disagree. I want to know if my man has cheated so I can have a fair assessment of the situation. I can forgive, but only if he is honest. I rather for my husband to leave than to cheat on me. Also with STDs being rampant in our community, I need to know what's going on.
The other person has a right to know the truth, no matter how painful it is. If you have cheated on someone, there is a very low chance that they will forgive you. But mostly they break up because cheating is something disgusting people do and no one wants to stay with a JERK. If you don't want to say it, you have only one choice: LEAVE. If you hide it and continue as if nothing happened, it's more disrespectful than cheating. You're fooling your partner and you're fooling your damn self. Normal person wildly needs to say it because of remorse. These comments and video just disgusted me.
This is another example of worldy wisdom. As christians we are called to confess our sins one to another and to God. God is faithful and just to forgive us. Where in the bible does God encourage covering up sin from the person you have sinned against, especially if you are in a lifetime covenant (marriage) with the person? Before agreeing with another Christian's advice, we should examine if his words align with scripture. If you choose to cheat then you choose the consequences that come with that decision. When you decide to conceal the sin of cheating, you are not being considerate you are being selfish. It's easy to say just don't do it again, but that's not sustainable. You need accountability through the body of Christ, to take personal responsibility for your actions, including suffer the consequences of your choices and the freedom that comes confessing your sins before a holy God and the person you have wronged. In Luke 12:2 we are reminded that, But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
I need your advice , okay I and my girl that I love so much where planning to get married and she is a virgin , I promise her never to touch her until we are married , after two years of not having sex , I finally found my self in an environment where I could not resist the temptation thrown at me and I cheated , which after I felt so horrible and cried unto God for mercy and I called My woman confessing my sin to her and she said she has forgiven me and we should let it go and plan for our wedding , I was so thankful she forgave me and I promised I would never ever do it again , but along the line as we plan for our wedding and fixing date , I travelled to work and she went down to live with her family , we call on the phone like every seconds and video call , just one morning she woke and sent me a note saying she can't continue with our relationship anymore and can't get married to me because I cheated a year and 6 months ago , I saw the mesage and I broke down at work , call her and she repeated something to me on phone and I kept pleading and begging her but she said no no , so my confession of a sin I committed 1 year and 6monthd ago has broken my relationship, and she is head to marry another man . So is confessing really helpful 🤔
He's right. Don't cheat. But you are saying your leaving is better and will break her heart any less? She will want a reason! You think that telling her "I don't love you any more" or I'm tired of a sexless marriage and your always pushing me away won't hurt her? I think that hurts her more cuz she knew she "dropped the ball" in the marriage and knew she was wrong and lost her husband.
That’s not how it works. Ur saying tell the truth? What truth? Telling ur wife u cheating isn’t the truth bc u was never asked. Ur idiot and missed the point
There was a scene in Gone With The Wind where Scarlett went to see her friend (cousin?) Melanie as she lay on her deathbed. Unbeknownst to Melanie, Scarlett had long been infatuated with Melanie's husband and had made a play for him several times. The doctor knew this and warned Scarlett something to the effect of, "I won't allow you to go in there and unburden yourself to Melanie. She's a good woman and deserves to die in peace." I've often thought about this scene. I realized perhaps for the first time that confessing your sins to another person is not always the right thing to do. I think you really need to pray and ask God what to do in each and every case. Truth be told, once you cheat --- there is no good solution!
thatMimosaGrove if you know that youre partner wouldnt want to know about youre infidelities then yeah it would be selfish to tell them. But if you know that youre partner would want to know if you cheated Then its not selfish to tell them . It you know that cheating is a deal breaker for youre partner then its selfish to not tell them because you are trickiking youre partner into a relationship he dosent want to be it. IF you know that youre partner would want you to confess if you cheated because he wouldnt want to be with you no more then dont try and make it out like confessing is the wrong thing to do because it will hurt his fellings. Itd SELFISH and DISRESPECTFUL to ignore other p eoples BOUNDRIES just because you know you can get away with it . IF you know that youre partner would want to know if you cheated Then the reason why you dont want to confess is because you dont want to FACE THE CONSEQUNCES of you actions (you want to have youre cake and eat it too another selfish move )and saying that youre doing it because you dont want to hurt youre partner fellings is just a pethetic excuse that u tell yourself!!!
Yeah well confessing when someone is nearly dying would be pointles. But youre argument that the cheater will only unburden themselfs and make themswlfs fell better and this partner fell bad is bullshit. It should be youre partners decision if they want to stay in the relationship after you cheated not yours. If cheating is a deal breaker to youre partner then by lying about you are just tricking them into being with you. But since youre a selfish little pig you will obviously choose whats best for you and avoid faicing consequences.
Cheating simplified : Case 1 - you cheated on someone, break up because you don't respect that person. Case 2 - That person cheated on you, break up because you truly respect yourself.
No. Confess and move on with your life. Whether or not you actually work it out and continue the relationship or it all falls apart does not matter. Nothing is worse than carrying that lie. I finally found something I disagree with Jesse on lol.
I disagree. If you cheat, the relationship is already fractured and broken, whether the other person finds out or not. Truth will more than likely ruin everything but at least it provides the other person to see the light. It allows that person's partner to make their own decision whether or not they want to continue with that relationship. An omission of truth is just as bad as a lie. It's deceptive. And everything comes to light eventually.
It's also irresponsible. Lying to someone for years by omitting the truth can waste years of someone's life. Trust will be gone because...well, it was destroyed as soon as that person cheated. This is not good advice.
You are wrong on this Jesse. I actually find it hard to believe you would condone such deception. If you cheat it is over, if you then want to further deceive then YOU ARE THE SATAN (the deceiver, the liar, the cheat).
100% my reaction. Its following sin with sin. Then you spend the rest of your life deceiving your partner into thinking you've been faithful. Jesse was wrong to preach this.
I have never seen a successful relationship based on lies. This attitude is exactly why I have raised my son on my own , if you think you can keep a lie covered up like that then you must think your wife or husband is an idiot, it didn't work out for my ex-wife I found out that she had cheated on my a number of times over our 14 year relationship, I tried to forgive her, I wanted to forgive her, but thank god I could not until I kicked her ass out and took custody of our son. I am much happier that I know and finally got to choose my future based on truth not bull crap, in the end it all just added up in my mind , she never admitted to it until she could deny it no longer. If you know your spouse intimately you can not fall for their lies indefinitely. I resent deeply that she stole my god given right to free choice, if she had been honest before I worked it out I would not have such resentment. My son is a fine honest young man now and if his Mum was still in the house I think he may not be that way. Cheaters and Liars disgust me.
@H Roark You are wrong. That is your deceiving yourself, and your partner. Or are you actually saying that if you're partner is cheating on you, you'd like them to keep it to themselves and to continue lying to you about having been faithful? I'd rather not be a fool. If I my partner cheats, I want them to tell me. And to say "I wouldn't tell her because I don't want to hurt her" is a gross lie. You are only afraid of the embarrassment and shame. "No deception is involved"
BEST ADVICE I'VE HEARD IN YEARS!!👍 the pain of living with the shame will be more punishment that loosing the girl, and the DOUBT will ALWAYS be there...
This is insane thinking. Don't cheat in the first place + no one will doubt you. You can't get angry when someone calls you out on your character you displayed.
I cheated due to emotional and physical abuse I was dealing with and going through post partum depression I was really mentally low not realizing I needed to take some time out for myself my intentions wasn’t to cheat it just happen because I wanted comfort and to feel safe I felt so bad because I became something I wasn’t and went against my beliefs I knew it would hurt the love of my life but I had to tell him even though I regret I still did it and he deserved to know I hoped he forgave me as I forgave him multiple times for abusing me but he left and said it was too much and I feel like a failure due to have a child with him as well but I know that we both needed to work on things and needed to address them we would have been in a better place
If you were being abused that was not love. Perhaps God had another plan in mind for you dear, not condoning cheating and good on you for being a brave bigger person and saying what some others choose not too out of fear. God bless you and I hope you are all healing, safe & Blessed.
If you hide the truth, you are creating a lie. Even if the person never asks, you have an obligation to the truth and hiding the truth almost always ends up being worse than a lie. Remember when your momma told you shell get less mad if you tell her the truth than if you lie and she finds out? This is where that happens. Dont be selfish
I disagree with this completely I think that if you cheat on someone you should tell them and you should feel guilty if you do cheat on someone that's Holy Spirit convicting you. I believe
Isn’t the relationship already screwed once infidelity has taken place?? Having said that, Coach Red Pill says it’s ok to have a side piece as long as you live up to your family responsibilities.
Dommi Davros depends on someone’s maturity and growth after the fact. Sometimes Satan puts ppl in situations that can be pinned all on a misunderstanding
Now say that exact garbage to God and see how you are dealt with smh Bro if you are not being the Man God instructed you to be - Honest, faithful, God fearing, protector, provider then you're not a King and you need to undue the toxic garbage you have learned from toxic and secretly broken people before they drag you and your blessings down into the toilet with them without you know until it too late. Check out R.C Blakes Jr. He's a King that help other Kings get their kingdom, not condemn them with bad info like that side piece bull. God bless and grow up with integrity brothers and sisters, your peace depends upon it and Karma dosent forget your deeds but forgiveness is for those that repent not sneak around and make excuses. GOD BLESS 🤴
THIS IS NOT APPLICABLE TO EVERYONE. IN THE CASE OF " THEY MAY HAVE CHEATED WITH PEOPLE YOU BOTH KNOW" AND YOU RUN INTO THEM THERE ARE VARIED REASONABLY SUSPICIOUS SITUATIONS AND THE VIBES AND ENERGY ISN'T RIGHT BUT THE GUT RARELY LIES. THEY NEED TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH..💯🙏🏽
My wife cheated and told me...had no option than to undergo divorce...I really wish she wouldn't tell me....telling someone is the selfish thing you can ever do...the only justification for telling is if you want to end marriage....
You ave a responsibility to not to destroy the other person's life, so do not tell and do not cheat. You have to be a realist as well. People who consider themselves good people confess, but they in truth they are weak.
If you base a relationship on a lye, what sort of relationship can you build? It is true that many people want to live and believe a lye, their relationships are unstable. They both must stay frozen at this level of malfunction or the carefully false relationship falls apart.
Glad im not the only person who disagrees with him. You wanna justify cheating in a marriage and say you shouldn't tell your wife then pretend to be a man of GOD.
The most selfish advice I have ever heard. It’s not your decision if someone else forgives you. If is their fault for breaking their partner’s trust. Tf
Jesus says confess your fault of adultery/fornication to your spouse then give them a letter of divorce. It’s not about forgiveness because you have to forgive each other while married or while divorced so not forgiving someone isn’t an option. Jesus says that having sex with your spouse after someone has had sex with them is an abomination in his eyes. This is why he said the only lawful way to divorce a spouse is when their is adultery/fornication. When you have sex with someone you become “ one flesh” that is married in the eyes of God.
Selfishness is not of God. This man's advice is not of God. A person who cheats and says to themselves, "I will not tell them in order to protect them." Is only lieing to themselves. They have unilaterally changed the terms of the relationship without your partners input on whether they want to continue in that relationship or not. You've also put them in bondage with lies. This man is teaching people to be slaves to sin. Don't listen to him.
This guy is screwed in the head. Satan doesn’t bring you guilt after you cheated. YOU brought that guilt upon yourself. Not taking responsibility and justifying cheating is exactly what he is teaching this group to do. So deceptive and sad.
Matt5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. Here God makes the deed = the thought/intension of the heart. So if you have thought it or lusted, it is the same as if you did it. By this most people is adulterers. So if you keep on cheating and lusting there is no difference - you are an adulterer[check this space porn watchers]. If you repent/change your ways you are no more. The Kingdom's standards is much different from the world's. If you are sick you should confess your sins according James5:16 to get healed. Sin can make you sick.
very true the prophet spoke of that, if u wrong your own self, don't speak of it; you will be looked at differently by any and every one that knows, and the other side of it, there was a story of an imam(teacher,preacher) who a mother wanted to stop her child from eating too many sweets, and so she asks the pastor(let's just use that word) and the pastor said he would speak to the child and one week goes by then 2--3 and finally the pastor speaks to the child and all; the mother asks; why did it take so long to speak on it; and the pastor responded that he didn't want to tell the child to do something, that he himself had trouble with, until he stopped...
THIS IS HORRIBLE ADVICE!! Let me ask, would you not want to know if she cheated? No Christian woman would marry you!! Only a man who was a cheater would advise what you have!!
Im not with Jesse on this one. He says guilt is from Satan. How is guilt not Godly and from Satan ? When guilt helps people not do unmoral things? You need to man up and let them know you cheated and take accountability. If they find out you cheated and didn't tell them it will be alot worse. A real man or woman will own up to their mistakes and fess up if they truely love the person. Also you don't wanna build the relationship in a lie.
You're backwards, Jessie. Jesus created divorce from cheating + does not condone adultery. He says it begins with your eyes + head. Guilt is not a product of Satan. Cheating + lying are. Cheaters operate from a low place like hell/Satan. The relationship was over when the cheater CHEATED!...Not when they fessed up. Fessing up shows that they're sorry + character. At that point when they cheated, it shows that they don't deserve that person. Loyalty deserves Loyalty. Why should someone foot the bill of a person who is not sure about their life or them?
Most might not agree with this, but from Jesse’s point of view, a marriage is until death and divorce is wrong. For adulterers, preserving a lifetime marriage can be impossible. Jesse believes that marriage is to be upheld and maintained no matter what the circumstance. Under those beliefs I can understand why not revealing ones cheating would be better than to tell, because it would preserve a spouse’s sanity. If you are having to hide your cheating, you are living in sin, but for people who believe a marriage is permanent I can understand Jesse’s opinion.
Yesterday I told my gf of 3 years I cheated (made out) and she dumped me, honestly I'd say don't tell her because now im considering bad. I respect her decision but I just miss her so bad
Yeah but it’s your girlfriend and she had no reason to stay with you, because the only reason she would is if you were marriage material. You aren’t ready yet. My wife left me a year ago. Today I am completely restored and a new man. There was so much God did to fix me. Don’t expect it to happen instantly, but don’t expect for this to take years and years either. Find peace perfectly alone with God and all will be made right. Check out Dan Mohler on RUclips 🤙🏼
Lesson: Don't cheat bro, the universe has a way of letting them know anyway eventually or placing Karma into your path. But when you speak the truth and repent, it gets better down the road and you are rewarded for telling the truth and not doing it again. Now in your next relationship (pray for forgiveness to God 1st) and focus on being the same faithful partner you desire in your life and you'll be mostly pleasantly surprised.
THIS IS WHY the advice the man in the video is giving is total BS....because of people like you....who don't want to face the consequences of your actions
Okay lets say you dont tell to your partner, still feel bad about it. Here is the thing, your partners basic instincts will still catch those signals that you are putting forward(signs of betrayal). And even you dont tell the other person the other person will get confused and start doubt his/her instincts and that is even worse than knowing you betrayed. That person will carry those disfunctionalities to different areas of life too. So dont cheat(you will get your personality twisted) and you get the other persons too.
Tommy Petrie confession is self soothing and actually no benefit for anyone else. The only way this works is if all who have cheated will cheat again. Which simply isn’t true.
It was that The devil Telling You to cheat The angel on your shoulder telling You to come clean The trust might be gone but the how you weren't You learn you grow from that pain It's better than finding out do other things Are you cheating and you get a sexual disease One way of finding out Be smart
I only time I cheated I felt so unbelievably bad every time I looked at her that I had to end it. I didn’t tell her because while I HATE lies, it wouldn’t have helped at all and would’ve just destroyed her trust. I suffered by having to end a beautiful relationship and lost an amazing person… plus I only had ONE person to blame. You have to feel the pain to learn the lesson, while protecting the other person from your stupidity.
In that case you were good not to tell her. You ended the relationship. The problem lies with those who cheat (mostly repeatedly) and lie to keep their perks.
You're saying never ever ever tell them your cheating. WRONG! I would rather know the truth as the truth will set you free. Jesus said, "Confess thy sins to one another so they ye may be saved. & who cares what a satan thinks Jesus is king
How can you say this Jesse? So, you're essentially saying the ends (avoiding destruction of relationship...even though you already destroyed it) justify the means? I remember seeing a video of a woman feminist saying the same thing, but she advocated cheating under the auspices of, "what he doesn't know won't hurt him." If you cheat, your conscience should compel you to tell your partner out of pure shame and guilt under the auspices of God. If it's over from that point, then so be it (which in fact, is Biblical for both men and women, minus the stoning). Personally, I think stoning should come back in style so people take cheating seriously again. No Christian would ever advocate not telling the truth about cheating in order to save a marriage that is for all intents and purposes already doomed from the inside out if you're cheating. I'm very disappointed in this video. Yes, it seems stupid to tell your wife or husband the truth, but if you don't, it will eat you up the rest of your life. If it doesn't eat you up, and you're able to cheat and just push it down, then you have an even bigger problem in the relationship. As a man (or woman), take responsibility for your actions and have some self-respect. If you had self-respect you wouldn't cheat anyway.
Don't you love those women who happen to see a married or steady dating man they know somewhere with another woman and they HAVE to go snitch to the wife/girlfriend? They do that out of the belief they are the arbiter of good & bad, right & wrong and seat of virtue. They don't give a moment of consideration to consequence of their action on the two people involved.
What should I do if I cheated a girl unconsciously she wasn't in a relationship with me but she was having feelings for me which I wasn't sure about that time and she proposed me I replied : you deserve someone far better than me. Just after she send a link of a very sad song : ja tujhe maaf kiya dil ko todna wala which means go I forgive you, who broke my heart ( it was her last reply ). It's been 2 yrs now and still l think about it very often( sometimes extremely dark suicidal thoughts) and curse myself for doing so cuz after that last reply I've not even seen her once. What should I do to forgive myself and feel free from this trap of self doubt and regret ?
Pray, please take your pain, your tears and your heart to God with sincerity and an open mind, he will began healing that hurt and guide you. It is going to be okay, just repent, focus on being better and grow into the man God made you to be ⭐⭐you will see brighter days my friend.
HisGrace Saves . You are right. But Jesse Lee does not follow the Bible. He follows his heart to damnation. He says many times that he does not follow the Bible. Watch his videos if you do not believe me. He's messed up in this area.
You've already failed in the loyalty department, now don't fuck it up in the respect department as well. The feeling of guilt will hang on for years and you will carry it to your grave. Besides she might find out from someone else and then you will know that you really f'ed up.
I think there's a deeper issue here. If you have a good person and you feel you should cheat or break it off with that person.. you have some mentality issues.. be it immaturity, or simply a bad person.. or both. There's no valid/logical excuse for that.
I agree that it is not worth it to reveal that you've cheated. It causes permanent damage to the partner's psyche and irreparable damage to the relationship. Just recognize the wrong in it and move on and don't do it again, or end the relationship.
Rationalthought83 amen
Coward
*which means you have no accountability and will always cheat*
It also protects the cheater from the consequences of their actions, this is the cowards way out
Ur partner deserves to know the truth
So true, a woman would never believe in him again The trust is broken, Between him and her.
Oh well, that is the price for cheating
Cheaters only confess to ease their own conscience. It's not to come clean. The only thing it does is hurt the other person. No good comes from it.
Um no, telling is the right thing to do. You don't want to be in a relationship and think that everything is great when you were really treated like crap.
No its not the right thing to keep youre infidelities a Secret if you know that cheating is a deal breaker to youre partner. You partner Has got every right to decide for himself if he wants to stay with you after you cheat . Id youre partner said that he would want to know about u cheating then saying that youre not telling them because you dont want to hurt them is just a stupid excuse that you
tell yourself when in reality you dont want to face the consequences because u know that youre infidelities is something that youre partner would want to know about. If you know that cheating is a delbraker for youre partner and u cheated and k eept it a Secret because you still want to be with them then youre only doing whats best for U not youre partner . Youre doing something that only works for you not youre partner which shows what a selfish pig you really are
Nothing good comes from confessing for the cheater because then they have to face the consequences of their actions but the betrayed partner gets find out what a pig he/she married and can get a divorce and find someone better but OBVIUSLY WHAT the cheater w ants is more important so the cheater hides his infidelities to avoid consequences.
It’s wrong not to tell because that is not manning up to your mistake. A coward hides stuff, but a real man owns up to his mistakes and does not cheat to begin with. I get what he is trying to say but everything usually comes to light. When it does, if you did not say anything, it will make things way worse and the person will feel way bad than if he/she would of found out earlier. JMO
And everything comes out if you live in a small town- were being nosy and having sex with everyone is a pastime.
Everything hidden will be brought to light.
Rhonda Taylor .... Yeah and let the Father of Lights bring it to light.
New wine & New creature So you agree with Peterson? New wine
There is more darkness than there is light.
I used to think that, but not everything. I do believe generally
Yea especially if you with a black women. Prime investigators.
As a woman, I would rather my husband tell me the whole truth. Both husband and wife are in a covenant relationship. The man most likely will repeat the infidelity if he doesn’t confess to God and his wife. The wife should try and forgive like the bible says but its her choice if she wants to give him a 2nd chance
Husband is to seek God who is forgiving to overcome, wife is to tell her husband who if Christian is forgiving, wife is unforgiving therefore you shall not tell
You cannot break the relationship up, whether the man or the woman cheats, unless a child is born in the adulterous relationship.
@@0vercast7 But the word of God says to confess your sins one to another. It is good to be accountable if not the cheater will surely cheat again
@@jmkbee5334 Not necessarily. If true repentance to God is wrought from the heart, then that saved person will no longer do that. It is because the seed, which is the word of God, remains in that person.
@@kristjanrom9429Can someone smack you for that dumb logic?
AIDS, Hepatitis, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, infertility caused by PID, CANCERS caused by HPV, and a Vaginal Parasite called Trichomonas. You SHOULD TELL!
Garbage of advice. Cheated spouse deserves honesty even if it hurts. In a marriage you become 1 and truth and honesty should always be a priority. Keeping a secret is not and should not be part of a marriage.
A cheater needs to allow the spouse to make the decision of staying and forgiveness. Not sure who this guy is but gives me narcissistic vibes!
Continuing a lie is not from God. It’s of the devil. You’re not trusting God to make it right if you truly repent. You are wrong on this one.
Maylin Cespedes NOPE!!! Listen to the professional... or don't, and find out for yourself..whatever..
You are dead right Maylin!
Repentance means you change. Sometimes we have to deal with our stuff between us and God and not put the burden on other people. What you do is ultimately between you and God
It means you are twisted and deceptive. Ignorance is not bliss. The Bible says that people perish for a lack of knowledge, because of ignorance. You are of your father the devil when you hide cheating.
Total honesty is only required between god and his children. No adult can survive without keeping their mouth shut.
That's a good advice. No one ever said that. Afterall the most important thing is not about telling her out of honesty. It's about true repentance, turning to God and never repeating the act. God would not judge anyone for not telling their spouse for their past infidelity. As a matter of fact He sees your reason for not telling. God judges ppl based on the present condition of their hearts vis-a-vis their past sins. He wants to know that you've genuinely repented from it. That's all that matters to God.
I have to disagree. He who covers his sins, will not prosper
You're so full of s*** you're eyes are brown. Guilty as sin.
It sounds like you have made yourself your own god. Because Jesus Christ the one God and Savior Hates adultery and provides divorce as a legitimate way of escape for the offended spouse. He does not at all condone concealing your infidelity from your wife.
@@Mark-ye9pi Thanks for this! Too many twist the word for their wickedness + to condone their sin.
@@Mark-ye9pi u sound perfect mark hope u living what u preach
I actually think the betrayal of not telling the other person the truth of the infidelity, is worse than the act of infidelity itself. It is better to humble yourself and be honest. If a woman cheated on a man, and did not tell him, it would be considered a horrible ordeal as well. Be honest. You have vows when you enter into a marriage, forsaking all others, be honest if there was another person, and don't cheat again.
Words of wisdom, confess to God but don't tell your partner for trust will be destroyed and it will never be repaired.Carrying the burden is punishment in itself, don't lay it on one's spouse. Keep together. Forgiveness is scarce and few people can truly forgive.
That’s called deception
💯
I agree
what??? its this what the church teaches??? cheating and never confessing to the person you betrayed. you religious people I swear are the most evil ever. digusting. lack of consciousness. god aint gone save yall. you cheat once and never confess your conscience is doomed whether you put it on something invisible in the sky, unicorns aint gone give you forgiveness because you still lack honesty and the emotional bond is broken. if the partner is conscious he or she will be able to know that you lying just by body language. and if they dont is hell on earth you take that shit to the grave must be really nice living in trauma. yall need therapy not god.
Thank you for this
It takes strength of character, it takes to be brave to commit to be honest with your SO, and to base your relationship on the truth. The people who can commit to the truth are usually those who can keep themselves from cheating. It usually goes together: the cheater is usually a lier. But not always, thank God.
The truth has been spoken
I
plot twist she has been cheating during the whole releationship
Worst advice if you are a person with values.
Now if you are a shity person of course this is great advice. It's great advice because you want an excuse for cheating and feel better about yourself. If you cheat be honest with your partner, TOTALY HONEST, and let them decide what to do. If you cheat and don't tell you are manipulating the person and don't let them decide what to do. You are stealling their opportunity to move on and find someone better.
I don't know what these people are thinking. If the relationship ends because you cheated and she doesn't trust you THAT'S YOUR FAULT FOR CHEATING. There is literally a biblical standard for cheating where you are permitted to divorce. Hiding it is even worse in my opinion. I don't understand garbage like this. It makes me sick to my stomach. Honesty is what honors God, not hiding sin and shame. The Bible says to confess your sins one to another. Odds are this guy has cheated and this is how he deals with it. This isn't how men should act. This kind of ideology is why women don't trust men. This is just plain foul.
Telling your spouse about your infidelity is what is selfish. Telling the spouse is a way of getting the guilt off your back. You can tell them and feel like you righted your wrong because at least you were honest. Well it doesn't matter if your are honest if you aren't gonna change. It's better to be honest with yourself and honest with God by making that change. By telling the spouse you're putting the hurt and guilt onto them. That's for the cheater's ego to rest. It's better for the cheater to retain the guilt and to correct their ways. They can continue to love their spouse and build a healthy relationship built in trust now that they are living the right way.
@ Sandro Fernandes - You're a King with integrity ❤💪🌟
@@sr-kt9ml absolutely not....they can leave you and fi d someone who deserves them
@@sr-kt9mlyou are no one to decide for me or anyone
If you do cheat tell your other as soon as you can. The pain is in the betrayal and the time of deceit. You increasing that time is like adding pain. Sometimes the suffering is deeper form the years of lies rather then the moment of cheating
Found a video of Jesse’s I disagree with! Still love you man, but you have to be open and 100 percent honest. So if you cheat and don’t tell her your a liar and you build that relationship on a lie.
if your really an honest person you want cheat no matter what.. simple
@@tkschannel9973 i told my girl last night
You just don't know.
That's why you "disagree".
@@AngelEMtz I don't know what? Cheating is a terrible thing to do to someone. You literally don't love someone if you cheat on them.
You are not a lier if you aren't telling your wife your problems. It's like God telling us his problems lol
"A sinner should stand in awe of himself and dread the spy within him." ~E.S. Proust
I also want to add that this man is telling you that should run from yourself to save yourself from unfavourable consequences. There is no running from yourself and there is no running from God. The best thing to do is tell the truth and put the consequences in God's hands. Learn from it. Otherwise, your sin will eventually search you out.
Nothing is unforgivable. God is of forgivness
If he doesn't confess, she might find out from someone else.
If he doesn't tell anyone, the woman can only find out from the other girl... Right?!?
the truth ALWAYS comes out! YOU ARE AN IDIOT
Caino the Concerned Citizen
And that other girl will tell a friend, it will spread as a burning fire 🔥
So?.......
@@trishflorida4250 sounds great! But it’s a lie - no it doesn’t lol
True, it's just a matter of time, lies can't be hidden forever
No. Your partner deserves honesty from you no matter what. By keeping this a secret, you're taking away their freedom to decide for themselves whether they want to stay or go. That person deserves to know the truth so they can go find someone else who won't do this to them. Also think about sexual health. What if the person who cheated contracted an std & then gave it to their partner without knowing? If you cheat, hiding it from your spouse is selfish & narcissistic of you.
As a Woman, we know the truth anyway so I’d respect him more if he was honest.
And after you would kick him out ? For confessing ???
The reason adultery laws aren’t enforced is because so many people would be in jail
ALSO WOMEN WHEN YOU CHEAT NEVER EVER TELL YOUR BF OR HUSBAND. THAT IS ALL. THANK YOU .
Uh, thanks for staying the obvious! 😂
Oh, that is a double whammy: a cheating and lying spouse!
Not admitting is cowardly. Running away from accountability. Yes it would hurt the other person. But the uncomfortable truth the logic of not telling is avoiding is that the cheater is sparing themselves and avoiding consequences. Remember to ask yourself "what does the cheater have to gain or rather keep from not telling?"
Work on fixing yourself first - it may take years. You are broken that's why you cheated. When you think that you're finally ready to share the battle with your loved one, you really need to tell them the truth. Don't plan on taking it to the grave. When you love someone and wants to spend the rest of your life with them,you need to open up your soul to them. It's up to them if they will accept you or not.
BETA
Love Yourself - Spoken like one of God's good kids 👑 that is a Kingly quality- honesty and God's guidance 👑 good job bro
only cowards lie and run from their deeds thinking they won't have to answer for it to God if they don't repent. Goid job bro, the Kings of integrity stand beside you💪 💪🏿💪🏼💪🏾💪🏽😎🙏🏻🙏🏾🌟
This is so true. I confessed to my infidelity because I believed he deserved the right to be with me or not. He deserved to know what I did , he deserved to know that I betrayed him and deserved to live his life without the chains of my actions.
HORRIBLE ADVICE!!! By keeping that information from your spouse you you take away her ability to consent! If she knew she may refuse to have sexual relations with you. Just because she doesn’t know it at the time doesn’t make it not rape anymore than drugging a girl at a party and date raping her. This is the WORST most cowardly, selfish advice I think I’ve ever heard.
Or you tell the person and face the real consequences of your actions and never do it again 🤷🏿♂️
You're a King of integrity 👏 ✨ 🙌 ❤ Bless you 🙏🏻
We all agree 💪🏽💪🏻💪🏾💪🏼💪🏿💪
This is the right thing to do.
So inspiring I stopped cheating on my wife
And just like that unsubscribed. Wolf in sheep’s clothing
No sir. I completely disagree. I want to know if my man has cheated so I can have a fair assessment of the situation. I can forgive, but only if he is honest. I rather for my husband to leave than to cheat on me. Also with STDs being rampant in our community, I need to know what's going on.
I think you should definitely tell, because you have to be honest. I think not telling is the easy way out.
Don’t tell but don’t do it anymore.
The other person has a right to know the truth, no matter how painful it is. If you have cheated on someone, there is a very low chance that they will forgive you. But mostly they break up because cheating is something disgusting people do and no one wants to stay with a JERK. If you don't want to say it, you have only one choice: LEAVE. If you hide it and continue as if nothing happened, it's more disrespectful than cheating. You're fooling your partner and you're fooling your damn self. Normal person wildly needs to say it because of remorse. These comments and video just disgusted me.
Yes but if he cheats, and doesn’t tell the wife is just living with a lying pos.
This is another example of worldy wisdom. As christians we are called to confess our sins one to another and to God. God is faithful and just to forgive us. Where in the bible does God encourage covering up sin from the person you have sinned against, especially if you are in a lifetime covenant (marriage) with the person? Before agreeing with another Christian's advice, we should examine if his words align with scripture. If you choose to cheat then you choose the consequences that come with that decision. When you decide to conceal the sin of cheating, you are not being considerate you are being selfish. It's easy to say just don't do it again, but that's not sustainable. You need accountability through the body of Christ, to take personal responsibility for your actions, including suffer the consequences of your choices and the freedom that comes confessing your sins before a holy God and the person you have wronged. In Luke 12:2 we are reminded that, But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
I need your advice , okay I and my girl that I love so much where planning to get married and she is a virgin , I promise her never to touch her until we are married , after two years of not having sex , I finally found my self in an environment where I could not resist the temptation thrown at me and I cheated , which after I felt so horrible and cried unto God for mercy and I called My woman confessing my sin to her and she said she has forgiven me and we should let it go and plan for our wedding , I was so thankful she forgave me and I promised I would never ever do it again , but along the line as we plan for our wedding and fixing date , I travelled to work and she went down to live with her family , we call on the phone like every seconds and video call , just one morning she woke and sent me a note saying she can't continue with our relationship anymore and can't get married to me because I cheated a year and 6 months ago , I saw the mesage and I broke down at work , call her and she repeated something to me on phone and I kept pleading and begging her but she said no no , so my confession of a sin I committed 1 year and 6monthd ago has broken my relationship, and she is head to marry another man . So is confessing really helpful 🤔
He's right. Don't cheat. But you are saying your leaving is better and will break her heart any less? She will want a reason! You think that telling her "I don't love you any more" or I'm tired of a sexless marriage and your always pushing me away won't hurt her? I think that hurts her more cuz she knew she "dropped the ball" in the marriage and knew she was wrong and lost her husband.
Not just trust gone ..respect is gone and the spark is gone he cant get back on the pedastal in wifes eyes.
Very true... Happened to me so I had to divorce her.... 😂
Debi Barrington. This is so true!
Is it more important to be on a pedestal based on a lie or be as honorable a person as possible?
Always tell the truth, if you don’t tell if you’ve cheated, it will eat you alive for as long as you live up until you tell it.
That’s not how it works. Ur saying tell the truth? What truth? Telling ur wife u cheating isn’t the truth bc u was never asked. Ur idiot and missed the point
There was a scene in Gone With The Wind where Scarlett went to see her friend (cousin?) Melanie as she lay on her deathbed. Unbeknownst to Melanie, Scarlett had long been infatuated with Melanie's husband and had made a play for him several times. The doctor knew this and warned Scarlett something to the effect of, "I won't allow you to go in there and unburden yourself to Melanie. She's a good woman and deserves to die in peace." I've often thought about this scene. I realized perhaps for the first time that confessing your sins to another person is not always the right thing to do. I think you really need to pray and ask God what to do in each and every case. Truth be told, once you cheat --- there is no good solution!
thatMimosaGrove if you know that youre partner wouldnt want to know about youre infidelities then yeah it would be selfish to tell them. But if you know that youre partner would want to know if you cheated Then its not selfish to tell them . It you know that cheating is a deal breaker for youre partner then its selfish to not tell them because you are trickiking youre partner into a relationship he dosent want to be it. IF you know that youre partner would want you to confess if you cheated because he wouldnt want to be with you no more then dont try and make it out like confessing is the wrong thing to do because it will hurt his fellings. Itd SELFISH and DISRESPECTFUL to ignore other p eoples BOUNDRIES just because you know you can get away with it . IF you know that youre partner would want to know if you cheated Then the reason why you dont want to confess is because you dont want to FACE THE CONSEQUNCES of you actions (you want to have youre cake and eat it too another selfish move )and saying that youre doing it because you dont want to hurt youre partner fellings is just a pethetic excuse that u tell yourself!!!
This is the best response I have read so far... Well stated.. Seriously excellent content! Thanks for sharing!
Yeah well confessing when someone is nearly dying would be pointles. But youre argument that the cheater will only unburden themselfs and make themswlfs fell better and this partner fell bad is bullshit. It should be youre partners decision if they want to stay in the relationship after you cheated not yours. If cheating is a deal breaker to youre partner then by lying about you are just tricking them into being with you. But since youre a selfish little pig you will obviously choose whats best for you and avoid faicing consequences.
@@mariamchale8866 It’s not about what you want. It’s about God.
Well... She was dying. It would be totally inhumane to do it and there wasn't time for her to make a choice on anything. That simple.
Cheating simplified :
Case 1 - you cheated on someone, break up because you don't respect that person.
Case 2 - That person cheated on you, break up because you truly respect yourself.
No. Confess and move on with your life. Whether or not you actually work it out and continue the relationship or it all falls apart does not matter. Nothing is worse than carrying that lie. I finally found something I disagree with Jesse on lol.
Good
I disagree also.
You bold enough to cheat then stand by your actions.
freewifishawty
Its not that simple .lve cheated .l couldnt tell him .what good would it do .?
@@cathyb2967 Well then you shouldn't have cheated, if you're not happy then just leave don't cheat. It really is that simple.
I disagree. If you cheat, the relationship is already fractured and broken, whether the other person finds out or not. Truth will more than likely ruin everything but at least it provides the other person to see the light. It allows that person's partner to make their own decision whether or not they want to continue with that relationship. An omission of truth is just as bad as a lie. It's deceptive. And everything comes to light eventually.
It's also irresponsible. Lying to someone for years by omitting the truth can waste years of someone's life. Trust will be gone because...well, it was destroyed as soon as that person cheated. This is not good advice.
Thank you ❤
You are wrong on this Jesse. I actually find it hard to believe you would condone such deception. If you cheat it is over, if you then want to further deceive then YOU ARE THE SATAN (the deceiver, the liar, the cheat).
Jase Fazz, I'm shocked too.
100% my reaction. Its following sin with sin. Then you spend the rest of your life deceiving your partner into thinking you've been faithful. Jesse was wrong to preach this.
I have never seen a successful relationship based on lies. This attitude is exactly why I have raised my son on my own , if you think you can keep a lie covered up like that then you must think your wife or husband is an idiot, it didn't work out for my ex-wife I found out that she had cheated on my a number of times over our 14 year relationship, I tried to forgive her, I wanted to forgive her, but thank god I could not until I kicked her ass out and took custody of our son. I am much happier that I know and finally got to choose my future based on truth not bull crap, in the end it all just added up in my mind , she never admitted to it until she could deny it no longer. If you know your spouse intimately you can not fall for their lies indefinitely. I resent deeply that she stole my god given right to free choice, if she had been honest before I worked it out I would not have such resentment. My son is a fine honest young man now and if his Mum was still in the house I think he may not be that way. Cheaters and Liars disgust me.
@H Roark You are wrong. That is your deceiving yourself, and your partner. Or are you actually saying that if you're partner is cheating on you, you'd like them to keep it to themselves and to continue lying to you about having been faithful? I'd rather not be a fool. If I my partner cheats, I want them to tell me. And to say "I wouldn't tell her because I don't want to hurt her" is a gross lie. You are only afraid of the embarrassment and shame. "No deception is involved"
Jesse is a pitiable fool .. Nothing he says should even be considered a serious or ratinal piece of advice , Christian based or not
Once a cheater always a cheater// if its a big deal breaker for you, find someone who has the same morals as you
BEST ADVICE I'VE HEARD IN YEARS!!👍 the pain of living with the shame will be more punishment that loosing the girl, and the DOUBT will ALWAYS be there...
This is insane thinking. Don't cheat in the first place + no one will doubt you. You can't get angry when someone calls you out on your character you displayed.
I cheated due to emotional and physical abuse I was dealing with and going through post partum depression I was really mentally low not realizing I needed to take some time out for myself my intentions wasn’t to cheat it just happen because I wanted comfort and to feel safe I felt so bad because I became something I wasn’t and went against my beliefs I knew it would hurt the love of my life but I had to tell him even though I regret I still did it and he deserved to know I hoped he forgave me as I forgave him multiple times for abusing me but he left and said it was too much and I feel like a failure due to have a child with him as well but I know that we both needed to work on things and needed to address them we would have been in a better place
If you were being abused that was not love. Perhaps God had another plan in mind for you dear, not condoning cheating and good on you for being a brave bigger person and saying what some others choose not too out of fear. God bless you and I hope you are all healing, safe & Blessed.
I can respect your courage! You should be proud of that
U deserve what happened and that’s the truth…….there are consequences
If you hide the truth, you are creating a lie. Even if the person never asks, you have an obligation to the truth and hiding the truth almost always ends up being worse than a lie. Remember when your momma told you shell get less mad if you tell her the truth than if you lie and she finds out? This is where that happens. Dont be selfish
Please! I want to know. Not wanting to know is wanting to remain in a state of denial of the possibility.
I disagree with this completely I think that if you cheat on someone you should tell them and you should feel guilty if you do cheat on someone that's Holy Spirit convicting you. I believe
Isn’t the relationship already screwed once infidelity has taken place?? Having said that, Coach Red Pill says it’s ok to have a side piece as long as you live up to your family responsibilities.
Dommi Davros depends on someone’s maturity and growth after the fact. Sometimes Satan puts ppl in situations that can be pinned all on a misunderstanding
Having a "side piece" is a betrayal of your family responsibilities.
Now say that exact garbage to God and see how you are dealt with smh
Bro if you are not being the Man God instructed you to be - Honest, faithful, God fearing, protector, provider then you're not a King and you need to undue the toxic garbage you have learned from toxic and secretly broken people before they drag you and your blessings down into the toilet with them without you know until it too late.
Check out R.C Blakes Jr. He's a King that help other Kings get their kingdom, not condemn them with bad info like that side piece bull. God bless and grow up with integrity brothers and sisters, your peace depends upon it and Karma dosent forget your deeds but forgiveness is for those that repent not sneak around and make excuses. GOD BLESS 🤴
A man is to repent before God not his wife
THIS IS NOT APPLICABLE TO EVERYONE. IN THE CASE OF " THEY MAY HAVE CHEATED WITH PEOPLE YOU BOTH KNOW" AND YOU RUN INTO THEM THERE ARE VARIED REASONABLY SUSPICIOUS SITUATIONS AND THE VIBES AND ENERGY ISN'T RIGHT BUT THE GUT RARELY LIES. THEY NEED TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH..💯🙏🏽
My wife cheated and told me...had no option than to undergo divorce...I really wish she wouldn't tell me....telling someone is the selfish thing you can ever do...the only justification for telling is if you want to end marriage....
You ave a responsibility to not to destroy the other person's life, so do not tell and do not cheat. You have to be a realist as well. People who consider themselves good people confess, but they in truth they are weak.
Hiding the truth is equal to lying
Marriage has been hell, once mine is over soon I'm done
You Too i wonder if marriage is even important.. at the end of the day a relationship is strong or not. 2019 marriage is a fairytale is it not ?
You can divorce if they cheat, abuse or deny you bedroom stuff a lot of times.
If you base a relationship on a lye, what sort of relationship can you build? It is true that many people want to live and believe a lye, their relationships are unstable. They both must stay frozen at this level of malfunction or the carefully false relationship falls apart.
Lye - a strongly alkaline solution, especially of potassium hydroxide, used for washing or cleansing.
The internet is making that part difficult now. Everything we do is out there.
Glad im not the only person who disagrees with him. You wanna justify cheating in a marriage and say you shouldn't tell your wife then pretend to be a man of GOD.
Men of god ARE the biggest liars
amen! Ephesians 5:10 have nothing to do with the works of darkness but instead expose it.
The most selfish advice I have ever heard. It’s not your decision if someone else forgives you. If is their fault for breaking their partner’s trust. Tf
Some people cheat then give another person STD so what about that
This is not Wisdom this is foolishness. Flee from this man!
It is not foolishness, it is evil and cowardice.
I can agree with this; so long as the cheater learns from his/her mistake. If repeated, truth should be told without question.
Jesus says confess your fault of adultery/fornication to your spouse then give them a letter of divorce.
It’s not about forgiveness because you have to forgive each other while married or while divorced so not forgiving someone isn’t an option.
Jesus says that having sex with your spouse after someone has had sex with them is an abomination in his eyes.
This is why he said the only lawful way to divorce a spouse is when their is adultery/fornication.
When you have sex with someone you become “ one flesh” that is married in the eyes of God.
You lost me! I do not believe that a statement of deception comes from the Lord.
And please don't forget that sex outside of marriage is evil.
Bad advice. I would want to know and if i found out another way, I would instantly leave. Who wants to be with an trustworthy man
Does this apply to women cheating as well?
Judy Basile
Yes .it does .
Selfishness is not of God. This man's advice is not of God. A person who cheats and says to themselves, "I will not tell them in order to protect them." Is only lieing to themselves. They have unilaterally changed the terms of the relationship without your partners input on whether they want to continue in that relationship or not. You've also put them in bondage with lies. This man is teaching people to be slaves to sin. Don't listen to him.
Wouldn't telling her be building character and showing morality?
This guy is screwed in the head. Satan doesn’t bring you guilt after you cheated. YOU brought that guilt upon yourself. Not taking responsibility and justifying cheating is exactly what he is teaching this group to do. So deceptive and sad.
Matt5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Here God makes the deed = the thought/intension of the heart. So if you have thought it or lusted, it is the same as if you did it. By this most people is adulterers. So if you keep on cheating and lusting there is no difference - you are an adulterer[check this space porn watchers]. If you repent/change your ways you are no more. The Kingdom's standards is much different from the world's. If you are sick you should confess your sins according James5:16 to get healed. Sin can make you sick.
very true the prophet spoke of that, if u wrong your own self, don't speak of it; you will be looked at differently by any and every one that knows, and the other side of it, there was a story of an imam(teacher,preacher) who a mother wanted to stop her child from eating too many sweets, and so she asks the pastor(let's just use that word) and the pastor said he would speak to the child and one week goes by then 2--3 and finally the pastor speaks to the child and all; the mother asks; why did it take so long to speak on it; and the pastor responded that he didn't want to tell the child to do something, that he himself had trouble with, until he stopped...
Excellent comment!
THIS IS HORRIBLE ADVICE!! Let me ask, would you not want to know if she cheated?
No Christian woman would marry you!! Only a man who was a cheater would advise what you have!!
Im not with Jesse on this one. He says guilt is from Satan. How is guilt not Godly and from Satan ? When guilt helps people not do unmoral things? You need to man up and let them know you cheated and take accountability. If they find out you cheated and didn't tell them it will be alot worse. A real man or woman will own up to their mistakes and fess up if they truely love the person. Also you don't wanna build the relationship in a lie.
You're backwards, Jessie. Jesus created divorce from cheating + does not condone adultery. He says it begins with your eyes + head.
Guilt is not a product of Satan. Cheating + lying are. Cheaters operate from a low place like hell/Satan. The relationship was over when the cheater CHEATED!...Not when they fessed up. Fessing up shows that they're sorry + character. At that point when they cheated, it shows that they don't deserve that person. Loyalty deserves Loyalty. Why should someone foot the bill of a person who is not sure about their life or them?
Most might not agree with this, but from Jesse’s point of view, a marriage is until death and divorce is wrong. For adulterers, preserving a lifetime marriage can be impossible. Jesse believes that marriage is to be upheld and maintained no matter what the circumstance. Under those beliefs I can understand why not revealing ones cheating would be better than to tell, because it would preserve a spouse’s sanity.
If you are having to hide your cheating, you are living in sin, but for people who believe a marriage is permanent I can understand Jesse’s opinion.
That’s all good and all but would the partner be justified by that ? Guess not
This dude doesn’t have a girl. Why do we take relationship advice from single men?
That's a $5 question
I Damn sure don't take any
I don’t agree with this
Yesterday I told my gf of 3 years I cheated (made out) and she dumped me, honestly I'd say don't tell her because now im considering bad. I respect her decision but I just miss her so bad
Yeah but it’s your girlfriend and she had no reason to stay with you, because the only reason she would is if you were marriage material. You aren’t ready yet. My wife left me a year ago. Today I am completely restored and a new man. There was so much God did to fix me. Don’t expect it to happen instantly, but don’t expect for this to take years and years either. Find peace perfectly alone with God and all will be made right. Check out Dan Mohler on RUclips 🤙🏼
this is the same thing happening to me idk wha to do
Lesson: Don't cheat bro, the universe has a way of letting them know anyway eventually or placing Karma into your path. But when you speak the truth and repent, it gets better down the road and you are rewarded for telling the truth and not doing it again. Now in your next relationship (pray for forgiveness to God 1st)
and focus on being the same faithful partner you desire in your life and you'll be mostly pleasantly surprised.
THIS IS WHY the advice the man in the video is giving is total BS....because of people like you....who don't want to face the consequences of your actions
Should the same apply to a woman?
Of course... Isn't it obvious? Wouldn't that be common sense?
I told my gf not to tell me if she ever cheat . The most important thing is if she has change
Okay lets say you dont tell to your partner, still feel bad about it. Here is the thing, your partners basic instincts will still catch those signals that you are putting forward(signs of betrayal). And even you dont tell the other person the other person will get confused and start doubt his/her instincts and that is even worse than knowing you betrayed. That person will carry those disfunctionalities to different areas of life too. So dont cheat(you will get your personality twisted) and you get the other persons too.
Yup 👍🏼 you're right
Jesse I love your mission but I believe on this one scripture doesnt support what you are saying brother.
Tommy Petrie confession is self soothing and actually no benefit for anyone else. The only way this works is if all who have cheated will cheat again. Which simply isn’t true.
It was that The devil Telling You to cheat The angel on your shoulder telling You to come clean The trust might be gone but the how you weren't You learn you grow from that pain It's better than finding out do other things Are you cheating and you get a sexual disease One way of finding out Be smart
The best advice I have ever heard! Wish I would have known...
Thanks for spreading the word!
I only time I cheated I felt so unbelievably bad every time I looked at her that I had to end it. I didn’t tell her because while I HATE lies, it wouldn’t have helped at all and would’ve just destroyed her trust. I suffered by having to end a beautiful relationship and lost an amazing person… plus I only had ONE person to blame. You have to feel the pain to learn the lesson, while protecting the other person from your stupidity.
In that case you were good not to tell her. You ended the relationship. The problem lies with those who cheat (mostly repeatedly) and lie to keep their perks.
Jesse is giving the red pill
I’m an Atheist. But this is solid advice. 👍
Welp this talked me out of it
You're saying never ever ever tell them your cheating. WRONG! I would rather know the truth as the truth will set you free. Jesus said, "Confess thy sins to one another so they ye may be saved.
& who cares what a satan thinks Jesus is king
How can you say this Jesse? So, you're essentially saying the ends (avoiding destruction of relationship...even though you already destroyed it) justify the means? I remember seeing a video of a woman feminist saying the same thing, but she advocated cheating under the auspices of, "what he doesn't know won't hurt him." If you cheat, your conscience should compel you to tell your partner out of pure shame and guilt under the auspices of God. If it's over from that point, then so be it (which in fact, is Biblical for both men and women, minus the stoning). Personally, I think stoning should come back in style so people take cheating seriously again. No Christian would ever advocate not telling the truth about cheating in order to save a marriage that is for all intents and purposes already doomed from the inside out if you're cheating.
I'm very disappointed in this video. Yes, it seems stupid to tell your wife or husband the truth, but if you don't, it will eat you up the rest of your life. If it doesn't eat you up, and you're able to cheat and just push it down, then you have an even bigger problem in the relationship.
As a man (or woman), take responsibility for your actions and have some self-respect. If you had self-respect you wouldn't cheat anyway.
If you repent, why would it eat you up the rest of your life not to share that with your wife?
Its kinda sad to hear u Jesse say not to tell if u cheat.. its dishonest anyway u look at it sorry..
Don't you love those women who happen to see a married or steady dating man they know somewhere with another woman and they HAVE to go snitch to the wife/girlfriend? They do that out of the belief they are the arbiter of good & bad, right & wrong and seat of virtue. They don't give a moment of consideration to consequence of their action on the two people involved.
What should I do if I cheated a girl unconsciously she wasn't in a relationship with me but she was having feelings for me which I wasn't sure about that time and she proposed me I replied : you deserve someone far better than me.
Just after she send a link of a very sad song : ja tujhe maaf kiya dil ko todna wala which means go I forgive you, who broke my heart ( it was her last reply ).
It's been 2 yrs now and still l think about it very often( sometimes extremely dark suicidal thoughts) and curse myself for doing so cuz after that last reply I've not even seen her once.
What should I do to forgive myself and feel free from this trap of self doubt and regret ?
Pray, please take your pain, your tears and your heart to God with sincerity and an open mind, he will began healing that hurt and guide you. It is going to be okay, just repent, focus on being better and grow into the man God made you to be ⭐⭐you will see brighter days my friend.
James 5:16: confess your sins to each other.
I would imagine " wife" would be included!
HisGrace Saves . You are right. But Jesse Lee does not follow the Bible. He follows his heart to damnation. He says many times that he does not follow the Bible. Watch his videos if you do not believe me. He's messed up in this area.
Stay out of your imagination. Call-in to my show: 888-775-3773 M-F 6-9am PT / 9-noon ET. jlptalk.com
HisGraces Saves
Yeah ... and then a lifetime of never living it down!
@@jlptalk No you stay out of your imagination, and stop wasting your time, trolling by putting your phone number, we won't call you.
What I don’t know won’t hurt me. If you cheat, don’t tell me and if you cheat..you better not get caught!
NO
I cheated but I won’t tell
You've already failed in the loyalty department, now don't fuck it up in the respect department as well. The feeling of guilt will hang on for years and you will carry it to your grave. Besides she might find out from someone else and then you will know that you really f'ed up.
I think there's a deeper issue here. If you have a good person and you feel you should cheat or break it off with that person.. you have some mentality issues.. be it immaturity, or simply a bad person.. or both.
There's no valid/logical excuse for that.