As Seen on Twitch.TV
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 11 окт 2022
- Are you ready for a MAN-sized video!?
Originally streamed/recorded on April 29th, 2022.
Editor:
SwizzlyBubbles
/ @swizzlybubbles
/ swizzlybubbles
Main Channel
/ jerma985
Twitch Stream:
/ jerma985 
Приколы
My favorite part is when he says "nobody uses dish washers." And when everyone disagrees with him, it becomes clear that it's just another common household appliance that Jerma has a phobia of, along with ovens, microwaves, and propane tanks. Yes, I'm keeping a list. Yes, I'm insane too.
I would just come to his house hand cuff him one day and force him to use all of it.
Household appliance. Propane tank. 🤨
He's like H.P. Lovecraft if he took Adderall
To be honest i understand what Jerma is talking about and i agree with him.
Dishwashers are obnoxiously loud, slow and expensive both for the machine it self and then all the water and cleaning supplies it chugs trough.
@@kricku propane tanks are needed for gas grills. home appliance by association, I guess
After hearing “Infomercial centrist” I want to see the Infomercial political compass.
Infomercial makers prey on the Disciplined Emotional quadrant
@@jcrosenkreuz5213 homestuck reference
@@thesightthesoundthefeeling8769 homestuck reference
@@jcrosenkreuz5213 H-Homestuck reference???
no please no
Infomercial: The glup shitto peels skin in seconds using shit fart technology
Jerma: You know…okay that’s pretty cool I’d buy that I’d use that
Great comment
omg its glup shitto im literally shaking and crying rn
glup shitto sounds like a star wars character
@@ThrowAway-gu2lw
It is, look it up
@@ThrowAway-gu2lw meesa ba gooba Glup Shitto maklanki
Now we know why he's the way he is, he's been eating nonstick coating all his adult life
Teflon andy
Fluorinated brain
he gets a daily injection of PFOA because the nonstick coating doesnt have enough
he ate too many clever tongs.
He's eating whole sleeves of oreos and vomits them out on his moms bed as well.
him admitting he's sold on the butter slicer immediately followed by "easy for seniors" and "safe for kids" really gets me
Jerma fits every category of person imaginable
@@squatchjosh1131Jerma the elderly 9 year old
Props for being the only RUclips comment to make me laugh out loud lmao
I actually think the butter slicer is really cool but I think Epicurious did a video on it and...well, it sucks
the fact that his dishwasher makes a noise like a Transformer being tortured every time it runs and the fact that he just thinks its normal is fucking hysterical
He’s so GULLIBLE. Litteraly the dream consumer for telemarketers.
"What do you am 7 billion dollars in debt to chat?"
Remember when he thought the ads about “actually” having the puzzles in the ads were honest?
@@DeathnoteBB You don’t understand it, he didn’t think that, he said there are ads that address those ads that advertise these puzzles, claiming that their game actually has it.
People like you didn’t get it and just assumed he meant the regular kind of apps but no one who claimed he’s wrong actually pulled up an ad that specifically said that their game has it unlike those other games that advertise it which is what jerma meant
Why is he gullible? He literally adresses when there’s bullshit but he’s not going to hate everything out of spite because of fake sounding ads like you, he knows that it’s still a product in the end and makes his own opinion.
He certainly consumes my dreams
Jerma is like one of those cartoon characters who reply out loud to infomercials targeted specifically at them, then immediately order whatever the infomercial was selling.
“Is your meatgrinder too small”
“Why yes it is, conveniently-timed ad”
yea but it broke the first crank n im donw 20$
Jon Arbuckle
"Are you tired of people calling you short? STOP! Introducing the new Height Extender 9000!"
*jerma reaches for phone*
I love how this trope is used in Regular Show
19:47 i cannot physically describe how much i love the unironic "wait, there's more?"
I wont lie, I would fucking love one of those.
@@perilousloki4712 oh, me too, absolutely. You don't have to dirty a knife every time you want butter, it's genius
i read this as he said it, freaky man
@@craposnap I knew you would
@@joj1758 I love you
these streams are really funny because there's an old tf2 video from a while back where jerma swears infomercials are never gonna work on him, and yet here we are
Isn’t the whole point that these infomercials are dumb? 0head room temp IQ comment.
He's claimed this a bunch of times, very adamantly at points too
@@PoshBeard well he likes a lot of em, especially cathy mitchell in the second infomercial stream. He swore by her
@@PoshBeard Room temp IQ comment, didn't even read the other person's comment properly and understand what they were saying before replying to it calling them stupid.
@@PoshBeard Bot-level comment.
One of my favorite tropes about these commercials is the part where they say "The secret is..." followed by "something something technology" or something else that means absolutely nothing
"The secret is our patented gravity turning reality shifting stirring technology." - a kitchen mixer infomercial probably
My favorite is when the technology is really mundane and used in a wide variety of applications but they try to make it sound new and unique. There was some Korean one where they touted "solenoid technology" as the big secret, which has been understood since the early 19th century if not earlier
The secret is marketing magic which bends your brain to purchase products!
Infomercial: "Using our revolutionary "heat 2 eat" technology, you can cook hamburgers in MINUTES!"
Me: "That's just cooking. That's just how cooking works."
Equivalent to "source: it came to me in a dream"
Keys about Jerma:
- Does not believe in dishwashers
- Possible fear of microwaved food
- Seemingly unfamiliar with spreadable butter
- Under the impression that a $40 sheet cake from the grocery store costs $10
He’s also scared of ovens
He's also scared of stretchy things
scared of proparmeeOH MYG GODe
Don’t forget his fear of tape
why is he so strange
Jerma pre-ad: “eggs are easy though you don’t need them easier”
Jerma post-ad: “now… I actually think this is pretty good cause cooking eggs is a pain in the ass”
Jerma is susceptible to brainwashing
it baffles me that jerma wants to go over to his friend’s house and just cut vegetables
"friends" house
@@greenoftreeblackofblue6625 yeah his friend Dorothy's house iykwim
@@greenoftreeblackofblue6625 yeah, and cut "vegetables" (its people)
He has ADHD and has been accidentally ingesting nonstick coating for at least two decades straight, I am surprised by nothing
He's wearing a backpack and backwards cap to his grinder saye
the fact jerma genuinely likes some of these isn’t surprising in the slightest
I like that non spill ice cube tray thing cos I have a freezer where its hard to get a level surface to put an ice cube tray on. everything else? madness
I low-key thought your prof pic had a Lincoln beard 😆
The Brownie Derby was the absolute worst.
@@JoMcD21 LMFAOOOOOO
@@UshioKiss good thing jerma is both elderly and disabled
I feel like Jerma has the Sims shopping theme playing in his head 24/7.
ruclips.net/video/Bw9ePQ8yBco/видео.html
Since his live Sims stream, I will forever associate Jerma, with Sims, as he is a Sim lmao
I LOVE BUTTER but if i left it overnight its just mayo
And then came the Dollhouse
This is such a good idea, just put on sims music to watch the whoel video again
If I bite into my Wendy's® French Fries | Hot & Crispy Guarantee, and hear the crunch of an apple like the one in the french fry infomercial, I will stop what I’m doing and immediately begin OLYMPIC SPRINTING to the dentist.
It's literally the same sound jermas tooth made during the easy bake oven stream
When you eat a mcnugget and it has a bone marrow chunk in it
@@Garf2O isn't bone marrow the soft part of the bone? lol
I know it sounds weird that I know this, but I swear it's because in wildkratz the tasmanian devils were eating it and it looked soft and liquidy. it's not because I eat bone marrow, my mom is the one who does that.
Jerma is the type of person infomercials are targeted towards
non-existent people, very true.
jerma advertising agency
Sociopaths
gullible consoomers
The person that buys strange household tools so their friends might stop judging them.
I like how not only is folding a burrito extremely easy but the burrito folder doesn't even do it right. Literally all the folder does is loosely fold the tortilla over itself like a giant taco.
Thank you so much that was the first thing I noticed and it made me so angry and no one was talking about it
With nearly no fillings as well
Jerma as a psychic "I'm seeing a cigarette, a lit cigarette, its halfway gone"
theres tears in my eyes why is this so funny to me
"I'm seeing someone who is ten beers deep, they are shitfaced and bad at cutting food"
Yet another win for the cigarette Andies
jerma is so attached to the man sized bit because he yearns to be man sized too
The way Jerma talks about it, I feel like he’s never been invited to someone’s house before
LET ME IN
*LET ME IN YOUR HOUSE*
BRO YOU WANNA USE THE VEGGETTI?
It's hard being the king of the junjile.
Whenever I read the first 2 replies I imagine Jeremy saying that while pressing himself against the window and then running to the door and trying to kick it down
they don't let him leave containment and cut veggies with his scp friends
you could litterally ask everyone on earth what he was trying to impersonate at 27:36 and not even people who watched this stream would guess dishwasher
Very much an 'old-school' vibe from these streams, just Jerma watching a video and saying something fucked up, then desperately trying to explain to the flood of question marks in chat.
"Yeah this is the part of the freezer that I keep the dried blood. Bananas in the back of that... Why are you question marking me chat? And what's with the _MonkaS?_ "
@@greenoftreeblackofblue6625"Everybody keeps blood in the freezer chat; it goes bad anywhere else! No, it's not weird to have blood! Don't you guys make authentic coq au vin 3 times a week!? Whatever"
Now this is a real Man-Sized™️ edit!
INCREDIBLE!!! IM SO EXCITED
I actually lost my mind when they said the thing
it's not HULK-SIZED
18:55
Jerma claiming he watches infomercials ironically only to get audibly amazed by a butter tube is insane
I love Jerma's absolute inability to just say a product sucks
Hes trying to keep the sponsership deals open
corporate yes-mandy
Jerma reacting to the cartoon crunch sound effect coming back is like seeing a person find their dog after 5 years.
jerma pointing out all the tricks the informercials use and then still being like yeah I would use that will never get old
I like how he says "baked alaska is ON FIRE?" like its on fire the whole time you're eating it and doesn't even go out when you chew it
he usually eats people when theyre still on fire be more understanding please
Most of these are quite literally designed for old people that can't use their hands well - but they wouldn't sell enough to be made if they marketed them that way, so they put them on TV that old people will watch and talk about how convenient they are
And Jerma absolutely loves them all
Also I forgot he has a broken dishwasher with a spoon stuck in it or something and thinks all are like just like it
@@thousandlimbs i completely lost it at the dishwasher part, especially when he couldnt believe that his fucked up dishwasher could be broken 💀
@@valchan2258 "your dishwasher doesn't constantly leak water and screech??"
Wow that actually makes alot of sense, that's probably why they look like how they do, soft vintage colors and very direct language and imaging. Some poor grandma who can't roll a burrito because of her Parkinson has been saved by that burrito rolling thing
@@surkey5055 fucking wild I was watching the burrito part when I read this
love how jerma has to pause every 3 seconds for his hot take on every detail in a 2 minute video, some content really makes his ADHD shine
his ADHD makes some content really shine lmao
19:46 jerma actually said "wait there's more?" ; thats like the exact phrase the infomercials love using
I have watched this stream over and over as it's one of my favorites in recent Jerma era, and I will now sit down and watch it again through this highlight reel and enjoy every second of it.
same i watch videos over and over again, especially the thing, 700000 games, dusk, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Same here, and I still find myself asking the same question, what is wrong with Jerma’s dishwasher?
explain to me "the jerma eras"
@@kaniac_ this era is jerma985, the last era was jerma984, we dare not speak of it
These infomercial ones and the try not to laugh one are some of the comfiest streams I've ever watched
I cannot believe this insane asylum escapee is sold on the damn “easy butter”
11:11 oh god I can just imagine Jerma using this to Bloomin' Onion somebody's head apart. Actual psychopath.
The Hulk Hogan grill is the kitchen version of the "537 in 1" bootleg game carts
I love jerma rants that get completely broken down by "yours sucks" and/or "that's not how that works"
to be fair, I've never in my life heard a healthy dishwasher make any more than a whisper.
he unironically said "wait, there's more ?" during the ez butter commercial
34:01 I remember seeing this ad as a kid and thinking that I’d rather have a regular cake.
I swear I've seen like 80% of this like 6 times; I watched it live, I've seen SO many clips, I've watched the other edit several times and I don't care I'ma watch it again
I think jerma lives in a time loop so every rewatch is actually a new iteration. What a psycho
congratulations
Fun fact, a lot of the things like the tongs are marketed to disabled people, or people with mobility issues.
Correct. When you see folks too incompetent to operate a blanket, flailing around making a mess and shot with black and white footage, imagine your elderly grandparent that can barely see more than six inches past their nose, struggles to lift more than 5 pounds in one hand, and needs a walker. Or someone who's had a stroke, or a neuromuscular degenerative condition. That's who these products (and others, like the Snuggie) are for. It's only by marketing to non-disabled people that they can even afford to make them in the first place.
Then again, they're usually poorly made, low-quality dreck unitaskers anyway, so it's not like they're running charities either.
Only thing i learned is that Jerma’s dishwasher is broken
FUCKED streamer mistakes his MEAT GRINDER for a DISHWASHER
Jerma is turning into a 40 year old stay at home mom
He goes into it ready to laugh and comes out of it 200$ down
you can bake brownies in a muffin tin for more edges and then avoid buying another pan that will sit in a cabinet forever
This stream is Jerma in his element, just a constant variety of absurd fast-paced scenarios for him to make jokes about.
That meatloaf looks like Jerma’s victims
Most well-maintained survivor of jerma.
He's _probably_ dead
All it needs is the eyeball for garnish.
As a victim of Jerma I can confirm this to be true.
“And look at all that DISGUSTING OIL”
Can confirm the Egg Genie does make that horrible sound and it DOES NOT STOP until you unplug it
In the hulk hogan grill thing they actually show a pizza pizzazz, which is actually the most used kitchen appliance in my house. We swear by this thing. We've have 2 different ones in the past 12 years.
"another mother's meatloaf" is a great debut album title
Jerma is the type of guy who would chop someone using SlapChop (while being dressed as TF2 Scout and smiling to the camera)
That sounds like a Tipsy Duck video.
"If I put you in a SlapChop and the only thing that comes out is your finely diced eyeball, you're probably dead." - Jermince, ShamWow guy
@@nontologicalbeing "And you can be my product for only 5.99!"
i love that i see you in the comments of every jerma video i’ve watched
@@skidmark322 Thank you, Jerma has kidnapped me and this is the only way I can communicate with society
Sucks that they didn't include the few minutes at the beginning where chat RAILED on Jerma for using light mode.
I'd love to rail Jerma
This stream established as canon that Jerma goes on Grindr dates taking with him his middle school backpack and “playing” with the Vegetti Pro with his partners. No sex, only Vegetti adVentures with his boy-acquaintances.
God, I wish that was me.
living the ideal life
Fuck yes
british cigarette
the fact that we still don't have the fated part 3 to the infomercial streams is downright criminal
Everything this man does is criminal
19:50 I love how he literally says "Wait, there's more!?"
Hey jerma, its actually usually more water and energy-efficient to wash dishes via dishwasher rather than by hand. Modern dishwasers use between 4-12 gallons of water to wash a load, and heats it to roughly 120 degrees f. Washing the same load by hand can take about 30 gallons, typically at 100 degrees f. The temperature difference is not enough to offset the amount of water it needs to heat up. Additionally, the dishwasher water heaters are often more efficient than your home water heater. Using a dishwasher will save water, energy, money, and its more environmentally sustainable.
Preach brotha!!!!
Jerma is unironically a housewife he hand washes all his dishes and spends HOURS looking at ads for home appliances
I'm so relieved this man is contained in an SCP Facility and they just let him stream once in a while
HE'S REAL?????????!!!!!!
@@PointsofData yeah, he breached containment recently but the foundation is trying to cover it up again :/
You didn’t read the last collapsible. His streaming career IS his containment procedures.
... Jerma is so cute, like a middle-aged-woman-type cute
🥵
jerma is my grandmother
@@vizzy61 GILF jerma so true!!
jerma IS Cathy Mitchell
He's absolutely right about how crazy these ads are, there's some kind of Willy Wonka-esque energy behind "As Seen On TV" products that makes them endlessly entertaining.
the fact that the vegetti is literally like a playdough machine for adults and jerma said the whole thing about how hed be excited to use it with friends
If you're meatloaf is sitting in an inch of grease out of the oven, you're making it wrong
"going slowly, moving then you end up using your hand" YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT FAST, THAT WAY THE SPATULA HAS THE MOMENTUM WITH THE GREASE TO SLIDE UNDER THE ITEM, HAS THIS MAN EVER MADE PANCAKES?!
I remember seeing part of a documentary on these infomercials and the one thing I remember is that if they "double the offer" for free that means the actual product is less than $19.99 and you end up paying for both
"Everything is a ham cube. Everything." ~ Jerma, 2022
god i hope he does more of these infomercials
42:56 I can hear it now, "baby brought his bottle to work"
Jerma being amazed by the "clever tongs" doing what all pairs of tongs do 😭 also YEAH you can't use metal tongs on non-stick skillets (or any other metal utensils) because it will scratch the coating and ruin it but you can also just...buy a pair of regular silicon-coated tongs. like they're not that expensive
edit: AND apparently the clever tongs don't even work right lol
Jerma is worth trillions of dollars he doesn't KNOW reasonable price
yeah okay but did you see how much asparagus you can fit in CleverTongs™️? hm? >_>
@@kingding9542 so true
I remember SortedFood did a test run of those tongs and it made the person testing them became legitimately angry just from how terrible they were
Scraping your pan is still kind of a problem because when that happens you're getting Teflon in your food, a small amount yeah but you would imagine it would build up after a while, and I know for a FACT that jerma CONSUMES POUNDS of TEFLON voluntarily EVERY DAY
26:59 Jerma admitting he’s been putting his dishes in the clothes washer
I wish there were hundreds more hours of jerma watching infomercials. these are the best videos on youtube
I remember watching a commercial for the Burrito Perfect, and whoever I was watching it with got _pissed as hell_ at the audacity of such a product. They started yelling, "PUT LESS CRAP IN THE BURRITO AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO SPEND TWENTY DOLLARS ON STUPID GARBAGE OH MY GOD DUDE!"
It's true. If you just put a little bit of stuff in the burrito you can fold it and it won't break open. That's the secret!
but then I will have more tortilla then chicken and that is FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE
I mean it doesn't even roll the burrito correctly anyways it just kinda loosely folds it into a weird soft taco disguised as a burrito
Jerma’s take on dishwashers is somehow worst than his opinion opinion off ovens
This video becomes so much better if you imagine him beforehand saying to himself "I'm gonna act like I LOOOOVE these products, chat's gonna think it's SOOOOO funny"
If Jerma is the targeted audience, does that mean he's always shitfaced like in the hypotheticals?
this is literally like a textbook caricature of how marketing is supposed to work on an consumer.
what sort of infernal dishwasher does he have where it makes that vile noise
One that has been broken for years.
I love it when jerma says "Everybody does this" about stuff he does because I know I'll be in shock in mere moments, screaming into the void that "no one does that"
I love seeing veggetti when I show up to a grindr date
You only put dishes in the dishwasher after you hand wash all the gunk off first. The dishwasher sanitizes the dishes.
That's incorrect. Most people misuse dishwashers. You are supposed to just put things straight in it maybe using the sink if you have some crusty AF stuff. The majority of the time people aren't running the dishwashers right or using the right dish detergent and it doesn't clean them properly. Technology Connections did a whole thing on it.
You're not using it right. You're supposed to have a bit of prewash detergent (either in its own compartment or just thrown somewhere in the washer) along with the regular detergent.
@@link11913 I do
Dishwasher and dishwasher detergents can conquer a lot of shit if loaded correctly. Use a pre-wash detergent and a hot water start cycle. If you have burnt on foods on a pan, don't use a sink. Put it back on the stove at high heat, burn it loose and scrub it off steel on steel. Non stick pans follow manufacturer recommendations.
Jerma has never seen a normal dishwasher in his life
Local psycho streamer doesn't understand material science, eats teflon his entire life
Jerma seems like the kind of person to blow his lid watching cartoons like Dora and scream at the top of his lungs trying to tell them the answer to the question they asked the audience
he's so real for the dishwasher take, so 1920s housewife-core
Huge -2 for the dishwasher rant. They use significantly less water than hand washing and yeah they take long, but I can do literally anything else while it just does it automatically in the background. If you have a dishwasher, please use it.
If it's that loud tho then idk, I've never had a dishwasher be obnoxiously loud lol. It's probably broken.
Bullshit. You get yourself a kettle of water and your washbasin you use less water when you don't use the whole sink. Not to mention how much dishwashers stink and ruin glassware.
And with the kettle water you can make a brew.
Fr dumbest rant award new category
Cut Jerma some slack- he's the same guy who believes Microwaves are blasting Gamma Particles into your food. I imagine he's literally never even briefly considered that his Dishwasher may be broken if it's making this HOUSE SHAKING noise.
This stream was truly a MAN-SIZED stream.
43:09 "..not that you *would* but even.. SOLID ROCKS, CAN BE TURNED TO *DUST* WITH OUR BLENDER"
Jerma would be the guy who has two egg steamers and two pancake flippers he uses to cook eggs in his cupboards.
26:54
On the topic of whether or not to use the dish washer, i believe in washing by hand, and then transferring each dish to the wash to then give them the final wash over before ready for use again
My mother is the same as you and it drives me insane.
I'm glad Jerma acknowledges the folly of the War On Lipids.
Why did it take him so long to notice how disturbing the jiffy fries crunch noise was
i was *literally* just watching the fanmade edit of this holy shit
36:38 Baked alaska is like a cake with merengue on top that you broil or whatever, but its not usually served currently on fire.
7:10 Completely loses train of thought in awe of how much asparagus fits in the tongs
The first one pissed me off so much, that’s way to much filling in one spot, it’s gonna all fall out the second you pick the slice up.
44:51 says *absolutely nothing* about the V.A.T.S. sound in the infomercial.
32:33 Oh yes, Jerma, we do know how you feel about GAS G-G-GAS GA-GAS GAS
Jerma not knowing about avoiding metal in non-stick pans is flaw in his human integration scheme, we were lucky to obtain this information
Compilation of Jeremy 985 Pausing Videos Every 5 Seconds.
and I was just watching the Dying Light 2 vod yesterday too, and Ster tells him when they go to watch the Sabrina video "You have to promise not to pause the video every 5 seconds and do commentary." Yea, I knew what I was in for when I clicked this..
No other personality on this platform can entertain you while reacting to infomercials
Vargskelethor Joel