I Lost Everything | My Talk At Menfluential
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- Опубликовано: 18 мар 2020
- There’s risk, fear and significant vulnerability involved with sharing my talk here with you guys, because I’m sure some of you might think less of me, or have your opinion of me change after you hear this. But, this is my truth, this is my life, and this is my story. And if it resonates with only one of you, then that’s all I really care about. I can’t control how you might feel after watching this, but either way, I owe you this. You deserve to understand where I’m coming from and some of what I’ve been through.
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I relate to your situation. When I turned 50, I was making $200k a year, putting 3 kids through college, and living my dreams. A few years later, I got sick with kidney disease. I was unable to work and lost my income, my house, my car, and my wife. I’m almost 60 now but I’m happy because I know who I am and I love my life. Thanks for sharing your story. You’re not alone. I’m happy to see you moving forward with your life. Thank you for your videos.
I’m 40 have 3 kids under 7 years old . I’m going through some very hard times financially and with my wife . This video and comments just pulled me out of my depression gave me strength to never give up. God bless you and thank you for your videos! They are awesome .
Good luck man. All the best.
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So essentially life is a bitch and then you die' not that original I am afraid! how about money does not make you happy it does not even come close
Just keep going…sometimes fake it til you make it. The hard times are temporary if you’re committed to moving in the right direction and living with intention. Feeling crap…have a couple of beers one night, but the next day; best foot forward! You’ll be ok !
Hey brother I’ve been where you are and maybe worse…I lost everything in a 10 year period…my health…my mother and father in-law…my sister…my uncles…my brother in laws…my wife…and my career of nearly 30 years! I should be crushed and laying in bed depressed…but I am grateful God provided me with two young kids that give me my purpose to live and thrive. I have opened my mind like never before and a paradigm shift has been occurring and it has put me in a path to recoup my life in every way! If you ain’t dead you can crush it…especially if you’re living in the Western world…you can do it…don’t ever give up! God bless you! 🙏✌️👍
Bravo! I started over at 47... Colonel Sanders started his "chicken business" at 65 with his $105 social security check...I use him as an encouragement... life is hard and life is GOOD! Vulnerability is a key to an intimate life. May God bless you and keep you!
Thank you!
I hit rock bottom 3 times in my life. Surviving my cancer in my 20’s, my mom died of cancer and I almost got a divorce with my wife and kid. I survived all of them and now living happily with my family.
Thank you for sharing. In March 2019, after several years of living in a motel, I ended my rocky marriage, got an apartment, and started watching your channel. I was broke, turning 50 in December, and donating plasma so I could feed me & my daughter. All my clothes had been in storage and become moldy. You're channel helped me rebuild... Not just my wardrobe, but me. Your channel is not just about fashion, it's about presenting the best you (me). I thank you for your work. Your strength had helped me and I'm sure many others.
Thanks for your comment and thanks for sharing Eric! Keep moving forward my friend!
Eric Boes Be strong, take it day by day and stay positive. We are in the same boat and we are gonna get thru this.....
Peace be with you.
Blessings to you Eric. I’m on a similar journey in some aspects.
@Eric. Thank you for sharing. You seem to have come out of a very dark tunnel. Well done. I hope all goes well for you from here on in.
@John. I think Eric's email shows not just how important what you do is, but also how important you are to a lot of people. The comments I am reading from various people tells me I have subscribed to a family rather then just a channel. Thank you to you John and all the people who have commented and/or shared.
A strong man, picks himself up after being knocked down, not someone who has never been down. Stay strong brother.
Jim O negative. What would you do with $500 large???
Frank Sinatra song My life
Listen to the words
Pick up yourself and back into the race!!
That one who strong doing just that!
Thank You Sir. My son was killed a couple years ago... The wife decided to leave a couple months ago... I'm 55 and have built a couple successful businesses...that's all gone now. Tough to get out of bed most days. But I have the best, most annoying friends who won't let me give up. I read many of the comments below and I can't say it better than that. You are an inspiration. I enjoy your content, I needed your message today. To those of you who have kids remember, You only have 18 summers with them. Thanks again. To your success!
Thanks for commenting David! Annoying friends are the best friends. I'm glad you're here.
I will watch your channel in a different light keep going keep living you made me think ,there’s stuff I won’t to do ,may do them now I’m 64 cheers
God bless you man... stay strong.
I'm over 50, the pandemic killed my trade in the granite industry, I spent a year living with my 83 year old mother to keep her safe last year, my bank account is gone, but I am now working on recording and releasing my rock music on all platforms this summer. Luckily I am really good. Ha. Keep going everyone. Hope you are much better now John.
You are the man, John! I salute you! I am 54, I still haven’t figured out my life yet. No wife, no children, no house, no car, no savings and working as salesman in a clothing shop living from pay check to pay check for the whole of my adult life! The past 20-25 years I’ve thought about “ending it all” but I persevered and stayed strong and positive. I survived thus far. Now after watching this I told myself I have a small goal to achieve. And that is to someday hopefully to go to US to get to meet you in person and thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Me too.. But I'm a female.. 47,/48 in January.. Still struggling..but different situation than yours.. Bit still in zero ground.
I divorced in 07, bankrupt and living with my parents. I let my ex have the house and everything in it, for my daughters needs. I knew I could start over and my girls are my #1 priority. Now, I have everything back, and both daughters are in college. Couldn’t be more proud! Thankfully I’ve always had a decent job and was able to give them a lot. Now I’m 48, make $82,000 a year and it’s all mine! But I still help both girls in college. The have new jeeps and are doing great. My life was rough for a while, but my girls kept me going strong. I found Mtn biking here in SE Michigan and that I think saved my life. I definitely would have ended up jail or dead cause of going to the bar. Said to myself, gotta do something else and bought a Mtn bike. Now I have 4 bikes and buy 1-2 every year! Gotta have the best. I feel your pain, hope you continue to do well! Cheers from Mi. 👊🏼
“What defines someone as a ‘man’ should not be the clothes they wear or how deep their voice is. It should be the content of his character, his strength in the face of overwhelming adversity, and his ability to still love and help others when the world has turned its back on him.” - Karamo Brown
This is brilliant....thanks!
Brotha…I feel you. 6 years ago, I met the love of my life. After years of dating, I knew she was above the rest and we got along the best. Little did I know she was an alcoholic. And a rough drunk. All my life I wanted a family and kiddos and I thought this was the key. After 3 years of dating and moving in together, I moved out taking the cloths on back and my Jeep. I lost everything. I was in a dark place for a while but God is good and now at 49, I rebuilt my life with a ton of effort. Stay up my man👊🏽
I went through horrible situations; I know the suffering: never consider suicide as a solution.
Being alive is a victory already.
💫👣💫
John, I am 63 years old and have spent my life as a police officer, never having to open my closet door and say, "Well, what should I wear today". But about 18 months ago I decided that when I wasn't in uniform I would dress with some fashion sense but didn't know where to start. Then I stumbled onto your channel. You are my go to. I follow Aaron and Antonio and others, but I use your channel to gage that fine line of dressing "my age" beyond velcro strap tennis shoes and pant waists up to my armpits. I was already impressed with you from a slyle perspective...but this video elevated you, in my opinion, to a "good human being" perspective. There was a point in my life where I lost everything - My wife left me, I was laid off from my job, I was evicted from the home I was sharing and ALL my personal belongings were confiscated and sold at auction to pay for back rent. I'm 6'5" tall and slept in my car...a 1967 Austin Healey Sprite! Significant milestone in my life to say the least but I'm a better man for it. Congratulations on pulling yourself up. No one understands what it takes to do that unless you have been there. Thanks for your content on your channel. You have been a style inspiration for me and now a personal inspiration as well. Continue the great work.
Thanks for your comment Tim! We never know how other people are struggling or the battles they're fighting. I appreciate your comment and I'm glad you're here!
Tim, and with your reply, you have shown me that even when things are bad, there is a way through but takes focus and perseverance.......thanks for helping the "virus" of hope spread.....
I am a 62years old man and my jod was also police officer.I divorced at my 48.My ex-wife gave me, one month ,to left my home. I've took my old fashion clothes and i left my home. Difficult momments....i was in depression for a long time,i had a problem with my heart..but i survived for two reasons.The first one was ,my sister ,who gave me a room to stay and more other facilities and the second was, when God send to me ,two REAL friends,who gave me courage...to go on.My sister helped me to make savings and also gave to me, the first money to bye a small flat. I've bought a new cloths..i ve changed my life..i ve bought a new car and i had after 20 years a new girlfriend.
My life is good now ..i can't complain.. but this divorse left to me a heart problem to remember for life time, this tragedy!
Thanks God...i am still alive and healthy ,as it is possible.
But..deep into my heart..i will never forget about this unfair bitter situation,who destroyed me,at the first years..
Keep Going and stay strong my friends...
Greetings from Greece!
God bless you !
You got my attention when you mention your Austin healey sprite. Do you still have it. Credit to the healey also.
Good on you, may each and every day be better for you. As an alcoholic who is now 3.5 years dry and at age 59 I am starting my new journey to God knows where, and believe me it is not easy but day by day we all get better with experience and perseverance .
It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to start this...so here goes.
Before I stumbled across your channel, I was going through depression and didn't know it. I thought no one in the world outside of my coworkers, even knew I was there. Long story short, your channel was a part of my climbing out of my deep hole. I feel better, in part, to you & your channel. I applaud you my friend! I seriously hope you read this...You are doing a great job! You DAMN sure helped me! Keep grinding Brother! I got your back!! It takes a man to admit he failed but it takes a REAL MAN to get up and get back at it!
Peace
You are a man of integrity and honour and know your self worth. Yes it's ok to not have all the answers at once ...yes..life is a winding path . Often we don't know and cannot see what lies ahead even with the most wonderful plans in place. You are a man of good character. Credible, vulnerable , honest and generous in spirit. You recognize and are getting to know yourself..your journey. Many thanks for sharing with us all out here dear friend of ours. Keep going as you say. Best wishes .
@@biggertom1234 whenever I get frustrated by stuff, my hubby always reminds me that life is long and for the living... We go through stuff so we can learn and grow.... and I just heard those words again from you! Stay strong! We have your back!
Ain't that the Truth 🤜🤛 Amen 🙏
BTDT, divorced and bankrupt and unemployed at 39. New job 1000 miles away from my young children. Drove the worlds smallest uhaul trailer with what was left of my possessions. Lucked out into a furnished condo cheap. Two years later , salesman of the year... Now 64, Own two houses, threes cars and put my kids through college on my own. Active and started watching you since I'm not exactly a fashion plate. 5'8 200 lb Italian...... Losing weight and watching you... now even more.. I'd rather watch someone who has rebuilt vs someone who has not gone through what you have.
Thank you Greg!
I'm 42, with 5 grown kids and I lost everything due to my divorce. I also was making 6 figure income during my marriage. I literally now have nothing. I also at one point stayed with my xwife. It's part of life. I get on my knees and pray. The real test will be during this economic depression we are about to enter and hope there is no internet disruption. I will be praying. Keep up the true inspirations you provide to us.
Thank you Martin! Keep going..one foot in front of the other my friend!
Society does not care about middle age white men. They mock our struggles and laugh at our suicides. Accept this fact. And your success? That will be met with scorn and condemnation as a result of your inherent "privileges" being the only reason for these achievements. The only women that are capable of truly loving you are your mothers, sisters and daughters. Swallow the Red Pill my friend.....it goes down HARD.....but the World will suddenly start making sense.
Do not be angry with yourself. Dig deep into MGTOW, but do not discuss it in the real World.
Dude, sorry I HAVE BEEN THERE! Good for getting down and praying and I did that a lot! Just now keep on grinding. I bought a condo last year and remodeled it. I was broke, child support kicking my ass, dealing with a bitter ex wife who called the police and child protective services, credit score in the 500's, almost homeless. Keep fighting and you will come back stronger!! And now my youngest son lives with me, It will get better.
@@WilliamBarryRoberts This line of thinking keeps you angry and resentful - having been busted broke by a divorce and still recovering now; I would recommend you let that shit go and focus on how YOU can do better , not how THEY put you there. I really worry about a world where we seem to have a "they" to blame and not look inwards for improvement. The longer you hold onto this thinking the heavier it gets and the more miserable you will be - if not now then certainly down the road. I don't know you personally and how you came to think this way but things only got better for me when I stopped worrying about "who" to blame and put my efforts into getting past the bitterness and self destructive habits and self-talk.This is just my opinion, you are welcome to yours.
55 years old. I needed to hear this and pick myself up. Those guys saved your life. You very well might have saved mine. Respect from Jamaica.
Thanks for commenting my friend! I appreciate the kind words and I'm glad you're here! One foot in front of the other, every day. Just keep moving forward.
I’m 48 year old woman. After 23 years of marriage I now live in a domestic violence refuge in London. I also lost everything. I left with literally a gown and slippers. I had nothing. Tomorrow I am going to be moved to a hostel. I’m terrified of what that will bring. It’s been 2 years I’ve been trying to get a home for me and my sons. No joy whatsoever. Everything I tried failed All I want is a safe place to start again. nothing. One thing I can say through all the trauma I have been through is that HOPE is one thing that keeps you moving and
Where there’s a Will there will be a way
❤️🙏
Wow man, I am overwhelmed with emotions right now. Sitting at work, crying at my desk. I typically start my day listening/watching a couple youtube videos, yours included. I did not expect this today. My mom passed away in August of 2020. 11 years ago I had sold my townhouse and had a very short closing period and ended up at 33 moving back home to the parents house until I found a house I wanted. Well, my parents health turned south and I ended buying 1/3 of the family home and staying there to help take care of them since I was single and not really interested in anything but... My dad passed away a couple years ago. Last year I met an amazing woman, we deeply love each other which is pretty amazing. Shortly after my mum died I had a huge financial hit and also had to do a few unexpected repair to the house, plumbing issue and I had to replumb basically the whole house to "meet code" since the house is about 30 years old. So that all chewed up my savings and just found out that my sister who decided to walk away from the family 28 years ago and we haven't seen her since is going to contest the will which could tie us up for up to a year or more... I turn 45 in a couple weeks. I'm damn near broke. I haven't been feeling well lately and I just found out yesterday that I have cancer. I haven't told my girlfriend yet and I don't know how to. I honestly sat in my car when I got to work this morning and contemplated suicide, very seriously thought about it. I got a text from my girlfriend of a picture of her and my dog telling me they love me. Then I clicked on this video. Maybe things aren't as bad as I was thinking they are. Maybe I will get through this. I don't know how yet but maybe I'll figure it out. Thank you John.
Thanks for sharing! You can and will get through it... one step at a time. Don't give up. It gets better.
How are you now 😢
Marriage is exspensive and divource is life threatening. Being single is easy to maintain but loneliness can be a bitch. Stay strong, live within or beneaath your means.
Very true! Thanks for commenting!
Roland Boss What is the solution to the single dilemma?
@@Dave-jv3th 🤔 a pet and causal dating. I am sure you be alright. Stay strong bro.
Loneliness is a killer..I am alone and sexless age 57 even in Thailand bad heart bad heart valve bad hearing
In 2017 and within 4 months I lost my job, my girlfriend broke up with me after I helped her get through a year of unemployment, and then I got a herniated disc and stayed lying in bed for 3 months with unbelievable pain and without a penny in my pockets. Best lesson of my life. Stay strong!
Great message! I just discovered your channel last week and really liked the fashion advice because I need a big change in my life. I'm literally where you are now. Here's my story:
I was 46 years old, sold everything I had and moved to Czech Republic to live my dream. I knew it would be a long and rough process to live there as a foreigner. Two years later, I was unemployed (coronavirus), broke, homeless and with no legal way to remain in the country. I lost everything there...my flat, my girlfriend, my furnishings. I borrowed enough money from my son for a flight and I came back to the U.S. three weeks ago with two suitcases and $3 dollars to my name. I'm 48 years old sharing a room in my father and my aunts house. I've got nothing!
So yeah, your message resonated with at least one.
It gets better my friend. Keep moving forward!
All I can say, is it took balls to do this video. Men usually don't get personal and tell our failures, but we all have them. To hear you tell about your life just made me want to listen to you more. I was homeless when my wife and I met. I owned a gym that really was just barely making money. I had just went through a divorce and the only place I had was my gym, so I lived in a back storage room. So, I know where your coming from. Kudos to you for being honest and telling your story.
44, Married at 27, divorced at 31 been very unlucky with relationships since . Been kicked to the dirty side of the road more times I can remember, re-invented myself more times than Madonna. But as men, we just have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off But that process doesn't have to be alone "I had to rely on other men" to help me on the way, I dread to think where I would be now without the help and honesty of the men that I consider Friends, who tell me if I'm doing good or to buck my ideas up. Thanks for your honesty, I think more of you now, not less.
Thank you very much for commenting and sharing!
I am 67 years old and i have been influenced by your videos....and now i have a renewed spirit and i love to dress with confidence. THANK YOU
I avoided watching this video. I knew I was gonna relate. Great message and never stop. I too lost everything, I mean everything. No $200. The thought of ending everything came up often. That was 6 years ago. Today I make a 6 figure income, I pay 100% of my sons College expenses and that’s honestly what kept me going. Loving my children and wanting them to have things better. THANK YOU. This is kinda that club you don’t wanna be part of. Some day I will help those that are struggling. Help them get back on their feet.
I have gone through a very similar situation, and one thing that I learned is that I should not be afraid to ask for help. I kept my situation hidden from friends and family until it was just too late. Once I let them in to the truth, so many people asked me what I could do to help and were almost upset that I had not come to them sooner. Once I opened myself to receiving help, it changed my life dramatically for the better. Never underestimate peoples desire to help others.
Thank you for sharing Steven!
Everyone has been at “zero” some point in their life, thank you for sharing your story.
We all have gone through things.....but these things we go through are there to make us stronger!
This kind of vulnerability at this time is exactly what we need. I'm 51, facing the same issues, starting on my third career. Starting all over again. More wisdom is on my side this time
I'm amazed to read the other posts on here. We never hear of how divorce affects men. This is an eye opener.
Hey Jon, I watch regularly, comment rarely, but this one couldn't pass without chiming in. As a fellow 50 year old dude who's making some major shifts in my life, I have to say that this speech resonated with me. Thanks for sharing your story, it's never wrong to share how you are feeling. I truly believe that if people watch this, you'll save some lives. Congratulations on your success and on having the courage to keep moving forward. Much love, my friend.
Thank you very much for your comment!
I'm 66 years old and until recently was deeper down than you could know. I'm sorry, but your story tells of a little bad luck and good on you for climbing out...but you appear to be milking your hard luck story - you have no idea .....
Before hearing your sad sad story I listened to you advising on how best to present to a woman, grooming, dress, pride in appearance, good manners etc. Next, you sniffed your way through your story of hard luck. I am not afraid to show my emotions in a crowd, to strangers, to friends.
I have cried many times whilst talking of my life - but your constant disgusting sniffing whilst making your speech was beyond the pale and from you who advise others on appropriate behaviour etc.
Pause for a second, take out a clean handkerchief or tissue and blow your godamned nose - even if you have to do it several times whilst talking is preferable to subjecting your listeners to your constant sniffing and sniveling. You demonstrated a complete lack of class and I believe you probably even sniffed more than you needed to believing it would milk the sympathies of the crowd. It seemed to work....so uninspiring.
@@40OverFashion ignore this Fred guy, John. What a ridiculous thing to say .. ☝️
Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, so everyone needs to answer this question every morning ... What will I do today to improve my life?
Fashion is fun, but *this* is what life is about. Thank you!! I’m 52 and starting over as well. You’re not alone.
If one of my brothers is down, I am down in a small part. If his marriage is falling to pieces, and the creditors are moving in, and the wine he once loved tastes of ash, then I too, in a part of me, am smaller. That thing we call success is not measured in the clothing, the cars, and the wealth, but in the man who gets back up. He builds himself up as he would a home, a community, and a country. And most importantly, his strength is adaptation and honesty.
May you always have the strength to get back up! Thanks, for sharing your story. I like your attitude. It's a good one.
My father taught me to adapt, and never quit. He taught me to be honest, and work hard for what I believe in. He also taught me that every bad day is just a day. So, if you only get one thing right out of a hundred, you got that one thing right, and that is better than if it were for free. It is hard to get up sometimes. But it is worse to stay in bed.
Cool video.
Thank you very much David! I really enjoyed reading that. Needed to hear it.
This video comes at the right time. Things are very uncertain, no matter who you are. People gotta stick together.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's the same case for many who seem 'successful' from the outside.
Respect to YOU for being brave and an inspiration at this time.
Thank you!
I have been an entrepreneur my entire life and lost and gained so many times, more losses than wins, finding drive after failure is the true testament of character. Someone i respect once told me " when you hit rock bottom the only direction left is up " if a year ago everything was roses you may not have forced the steps to create this channel, this is honest, transparent and open and new respect for you. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way of dreams and goals. 🙏👊💪
Thank you very much Joe! I appreciate your comment!
thank you. my beautiful and stunning girlfriend/fiancée committed suicide 14 months ago. we were apart for 10 months due to travel restrictions. after her passing, I also faced a dark tunnel...now I am slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel
Sorry for your loss.
I'm 60 and a friend conned me out of 70% of my life's savings - he broke the law, and knowing our laws, most likely nothing will happen to him. I am in tremendous pain but I have to move on. On top of that I have depression and have fallen face first as a result of this. The pain is tremendous but I only have one option - move forward. I know people that lost children and realize my trial is nothing compared to theirs. Also, I have Faith in a Loving Father in Heaven that sacrificed his Beloved Son so I could live forever - that really keeps me going. It's the least I can do to strive to live a righteous life and help others as he did. Keep the Faith!
I don't have it all figured myself. I'm also 50 and had many ups and downs in my life.
Ups were living in a luxury highrise downtown condo to a basement apartment.
At one point I cried losing it all and couldn't put my daughter through college.
I am so proud that she did it on her own and now she is an attorney.
Thanks for commenting my friend!
At age 50 I was not far removed from your story; I had the benefit of a supportive wife and wonderful children. I just turned 62 and am *finally* feeling like things are falling into place.
Never stop. You can always start over. Never quit. Don't give up. These may seem to be trite sayings, but they're incredibly true.
By the way: My wife VERY MUCH appreciates how much I've upped my fashion game over the past 18 months, and you have a big part in that.
THANK YOU.
Thank you!
Okay....this kind of blew my mind. The life situation you talked about is essentially mine 5 years ago, and still is to some degree today. I had lost even my car, and was riding around on a free rusted old bike that someone on the local Craigslist said I could have if I picked it up. I'll be 57 in July. But I've been working hard and doing LOTS of menial jobs. Amazing how the money...even from menial work, adds up. I've been going to the gym and have been working on my conditioning as well, it helps! The thing that blew my mind though, was that when I would tune into your channel, I would always say to myself..." now THERE is a guy that has it all together." If I would have chosen one guy from all the style channels that really had his game of life on point, I would have picked you, John. You and Antonio, I would say. The style channels helped me to strive to put together a wardrobe, and taught me how to dress properly. All of that gave me an positive sense of self, and a degree of control, as it gave me something to focus on. Ahhh, John....you're a strong man. To put together and maintain a site and produce content while in the middle of that life situation....wow. Thank you for that video. That may have been more inspiring than all the videos about v-necks and double monks. Cheers my friend. Wishing you the best, and a continued forward momentum.
Thanks for sharing Anthony!
The details may differ, but I have a similar story, same timeline. My life collapsed at 50; still rebuilding at 55. Because I'm no stranger to those same dark thoughts, I really appreciate your candor. It helps.
John, I am so humbled for you to share your journey with all of the world to know. I was forced from a job I loved after 23.5 years, then was diagnosed with cancer. I almost lost everything I had worked so hard for. Now cancer free for 8 years, life is still challenging because I have no desire to retire and putter around. In reality few companies want to hire older guys even if they have a wealth of experience. So I take each day at a time and do the best I can. Your story and words are inspirational. You are awesome. If you ever get to SLC, please let me take you to dinner or lunch. Continue your journey. Lift your head high, and walk with honor. Knowing what I have learned about you only deepens the respect I have for you. I'm sure other of your subscribers with concur. Best regards, John Yes, you and I share the same first name.
THIS is your best video yet. Raw and honest. Much love to you man.
AGREED !
Came across your channel a couple of weeks ago and this video came up on my recommended, At the age of 41 and starting over with very very little. Having had a great job and started a business a couple of years ago and lost them both to my own depression and self sabotage, I tried to take my own life about six months ago and thinking a lot about not living the life that I wanted when I was younger, this video has gave me some REAL INSPIRATION and hope and courage to reinvent myself and become my best self in all ascpets of my life.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
My pleasure! Appreciate your comment, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this talk, John. My wife and I have been through a lot in the last 24 years. I was unemployed for 19 months shortly after we were married due to the Dot Bomb implosion in 2001. We had our son and another on the way. Even after I got a job we lost our house six months later. But we roughed it out and ended up in a house with the same payment that was twice as big. We sacrificed a lot for our kids as she was a stay at home mom. Now she is working full time and we only have our youngest at home.
Life is a struggle. As I say, everyone has problems. Through it all my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ held us in His hand and everything that happened, happened for a reason we couldn’t see at the time. He was testing us, and blessing us. This life is a test. We have to abide in Him and see our sinful condition as an illness only Christ can fix.
Appreciate this video.
Thank you!
This was the realest it could ever get. Most people tell their stories when they've gone past the hurdles. What makes your story more real, and relatable with, you are telling it while the sh!+ is still happening in your life. Thank you for being vulnerable. I am 42 at the moment, with 3 kids, have lost my job, and have to move back to my mother's house.
I am also a professional speaker, and the most difficult thing to do is to get my head right, fix my smile, and get ready to get on stage to inspire people. I respect you!
Thank you very much!
I admire you so much more today! Thank you for the insight. I would truly love to meet you.
I went through something very similar when I was in my late 30s. I was recently divorced, sleeping on my sister’s couch, and wondering how I was going to make my car payment. I went to a bar for my 40th birthday and there I met my future wife. Fast forward 10 years and I’m in a much better place.
Thanks for posting this. I was very moved and related so much to it.
Thank you Brian!
You are a brave man. I mean that with all respect & sincerity Sir. I'm a military Airborne Vet & have witnessed bravery in the face of death many times from guys you'd least expect it from, some women too. While I cannot imagine the circumstances behind you life & why you ended up where you did, we do have something in common. My military career ended when I streamed down from 800ft + without a parachute. I actually found a girl who loved me in spite of my scars & my limp (my last 14 months in Service was learning to walk again). She never once judged me nor did her loving support once fail, she was always at my side, when she could've had any one of guys that she wanted, she chose me. We always assumed it would be me who would go first, not only am I a decade older than she (we met when I was 34 y.o.). Nov 23, 2018 was like any other day except, she felt sick to her stomach suddenly...I drove her to the clinic & went in with her & the Doc told us to give her some gravol & see if it helped, if not, go to emergency at the hospital. Needless to say the gravol helped some & my beautiful wife of 22 years decided to try & have a nap. The next thing I know I'm doing CPR on my wife, she seized up so badly I had to break her arm to do the CPR & I got a pulse but...she died 5 hours later of an aortic rupture. The last thing she said to me when she collapsed into my arms on our living room floor was "I love you". She knew she was going to die...yet she so brave her last concious thought was of me.
I went thru day after day, devastated, she was life itself for me. I'm sure I survived the two war zones I fought in & came back from my injuries because of my wife, she was my sole purpose, the reason I am who & what I am. Needless to say I learned from my wife & she helped me to be a much better man than I used to be. I haven't been able to start making videos for my channel again yet...my heart isn't into much yet. It's been nearly 2 years & while I'm just getting by financially & finally paid off the funeral costs & so on, it's not easy coming back, I know!! Think lesser of you? For what dude!? If anything I'm glad I a new sub to your channel because at least I know I follow a guy with some guts who isn't full of shit. My wife wanted me to find another girl, be happy, enjoy the rest of my life...I promised her I would even tho I'm not so sure another girl would have me anyway (not going to get into that here but suffice it to say that's not all on me I can assure you of that). Ergo why I'm a sub to your channel, it's been a long time since my hat has been in the ring yeah haha. I could use some help in this single world I find myself in, things have changed since I last dated huh.
Point is, the important thing is...you're here aren't you? You have the guts to try & that's all that should matter to you. What I may or may not think doesn't count, never did! But since you asked...no I don't think lesser of you...if anything you have my respect for sticking it out and getting back on your feet again. If people...if a girl can't see that...tough shit, she ain't worth knowing anyway then. It took real guts to admit what you did & more to share your story with the world. Keep up the good work & the great content & hold your head high Brother, you've already won!!
Thank you very much for your comment! I’m incredibly sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you’re here.
I just discovered you tonight as I sit back and listened to you fashion advice which I love . I came across this video and I struck me hard . Your opening statement is what grabbed me . I am a 2 time cancer survivor . I have looked at death in the face . I know what it is like to be there . Now I see this video and it has re kindled the flame that I had the my surroundings have tried to extinguish . No more . At 54 you reignited my zest for life . I cant thank you enough !
Standing ovation! Appreciate your comment!
Self-respect is a virtue you can only bestow upon yourself, power to you my friend and thanks for keeping it real.
As an estate planning lawyer I know all to well that there is no guarantee anyone will get a tomorrow. Great words of wisdom and I’m sure this was a tough speech to give. Keep up the great content and know your impact on others may reach beyond what you think. I wish you the greatest success in the future!
Man, this just about sounds like me! NOT, everyone who finds themselves living in a car or van is doing drugs or mentality sick. But, trying to survive in a difficult situation can break a person. Kudos to this dude.
Hey Jon...I'm so impressed with your doing this. I can relate. I was in the same boat after my last relationship fell apart. I was blindsided by my partner leaving out of nowhere! I was recovering from cancer treatment at the time and very depressed, and apparently, after nine years of us being together he decided he didn't want to do "for better or worse", and left. I lost everything too. No job, because I was laid off after getting sick, and had used up all my savings...lost everything. I was 55 at the time.
I'm only just getting my life back together after almost ten years of struggling. Now I work as a peer counselor for people going b through mental health crisis, trying to find my own place to live (in NYC that's no joke), and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.
You inspire me. I used your videos to get me out of the slump I was in. Started taking you fashion advice, and started feeling better as I presented myself more confidently.
Thank you for what you do, and who you are.
Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you're here!
Im delighted to her things are getting back on track. You now have the secret - Believe in yourself , stay strong,be persistent - you always find the people you can trust when times are at their worst.Keep doing what your doing and if it isn't broke - don't fix it, All the best.
No, my appreciation went up not down. As long as people dont dwell in the past but remain fixed in the present I get it.
Thank you so much! I am 50 and starting all over from scratch! I found this channel by "accident" cause I'm changing careers and want to dress well. Your story and your mission are a blessing to me because I'm inspired to get up and try one more time.
Your talk certainly resonated with me. I moved back to Australia in 2012 after a failed relationship in Canada, aged 43 and with $3000 to my name, two suitcases, and my guitar. No job, no house, and not many prospects. And the question of, "How many more new starts do I have in me?" " goes through your head often at the time.
It was a year ago this month that a good friend of mine killed himself despite being a successful property developer and school principal, with a net worth of well over two million dollars. He felt worthless, and said as much in his exit note. Value, and the value we place upon ourselves, isn't calculated in dollars and assets...or at least it shouldn't be. The value we have is in our worth to other people; how we make them feel when we're around them, the support we offer, and value they see in our relationships with them.
As Winston Churchill said, 'When you're going through Hell....keep going".
Thank you very much for your comment! I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but I’m glad you’re here!
It took a lot of courage to share your story.
You get a standing ovation in my heart.
I’ve had my fair share of ups and deep downs in my life. Life teaches you... when these things happen.. you have 2 choices. Either bury yourself in self pity and revel in the sadness or.... pick yourself up..dust yourself off and get on with life.. learn from your experiences..realize that time is the healer...continue to chase your life goals...and you will come to see... these experiences are just markers on the road in your life ..to test you... refocus your energy positively on your life goals...today... I’ve a net worth of over $3million. I own everything...I’ve no debt...life is sweet. All because..I chose to get on with life. 🥂🎯 In New Zealand we have a saying .... Kia Kaha...translated means ..stay strong. ❤️
John, going thru divorce is a shitty feeling. I admire you for putting out these videos even when you were going thru all this shit. It’s extremely difficult to put yourself together during this type of situations and still do this for your subscribers. Much respect...
I know this is older... Thank you. Started watching you A WEEK ago. This hit home the most of all of them. Thank you for sharing! Aaron was a motivator to help me move on from a bad marriage and you have helped fill the spots Aaron hasn't.
Thank you very much John!
I thank you so much for sharing this. I needed this now more than ever. My story in short, I sold my home, I moved back in with my parents in 2016 to help with my mother's care (she had terminal cancer) and to help with my brother (multiply disabled), and also to pay off a mountain of debt. I saw my mom through her journey and worked full-time AND went to school. She left us/passed 2019, I proceeded to wrack up debt again to the tune of 50k for repairs on the house I bought to move out to and random stuff - deep depression. I am 38 and I feel like a failure, like I let everyone down...but you showed me that I CAN come back, Its never too late...So, now, it's time to pick myself up and pay off this debt.
One penny, one nickel, one dollar at a time.
And you will. I believe we all can achieve great things. God bless my friend.
Blessings to you brother, for sharing your story. This took guts and sincerity. We love you !!! California will do this to us men, eat our wallets, then the IRS takes anything that remains. Time to move to Mexico, or Philippines, or Colombia, or some other country where we can have dignity. We used to have dignity in America, but these days the land of the free is feeding on us, to the bone. So hate to say it, but in order to stay afloat, we must immigrate. It worked for me ........ Blessings !
What's a good place to immigrate in 2024?
Thank you for sharing. Life is hard, no matter how bright it may seem for others at a distance the truth a person is living is never what it seems. I was once at a point where I was for the first time ever, to be debt free. Then I lost my job. It seemed like everything that could go wrong went wrong. After losing my job, my daughter was in a car accident, my son who is disabled got very sick and was in ICU for 2 months, and my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
I would go on many interviews but just couldn't get hired with any company. My severance money went a lot faster then expected. I had never felt so depressed in my life. I had moments where I thought about checking out on life all together. I was 1 month away from losing my house which would have really pushed me over the edge cause I take such pride in providing for my family.
My wife being the amazing woman she is, advised me to apply for a state government job. Typically it takes months before getting a response but I was interviewed in less than two weeks after applying and hired another week after that. I was able to keep my home and start building a new life for me and my family. But despite the positive outcome and how cheerful my co-workers say I am. I still struggle cause my son has had a multitude of health issues, each time a bit more severe. My wife has been diagnosed with MS and it is starting to really ware on her body. My mother still struggles with her cancer and my dad is emotionally drained and knows it is only a matter of time before my mother passes on.
As you said in your speech though, we move forward. People ask how I can keep going with all this shit in my life happening. It's not easy but you will be amazed at what you can do when the weight off the world is on your shoulders. Keep doing what you do and live life the best you can. Some days will be better or worse than others but life goes on. Stay strong. And thank you again for sharing a piece of your life with the viewers.
Thanks for sharing Brandon! Keep moving forward my friend.
This has to be the most raw and sincere clip I’ve ever listened to. You’ve managed to slow down the world just enough to knock some sense into it. Thank you for adding life for the breaths we take and sharing your story. We all love you like a nicely fitted shirt! Best of luck and continued success.
Thank you very much!
Thanks for sharing. On June 30, 2019, after 34 years of marriage, my wife died of a heart attack. I’m learning to adjust to my new normal. Someone told me about 2 months ago that talking about it, is helping me to heal. I pray the you too can heal.
I'm so sorry to hear that Jay. Thank you for sharing! We'll all get through this together my friend!
Really nice talk and it took a lot of courage to stand in front of all that people and share your heart and life with strangers. I feel what are you going through, I have the same blessing of passing through a similar experience in my life. To make it short 4 year in war (Iraq, Afghanistan) , lost everything, work, wife, health, financial stability , etc. I was broke and slept under a bridge for a year and a half and literally ate from trashcans cause I was to proud to beg. Hang in there follow your heart and you’ll see things do get better. I had gain everything that I lost back two fold and better. Keep the faith and always remember this too shall pass it is a blessings in disguise to allows us to grow internally and spiritually. My heart is with you and I’ll see you at the end of the path. This is not a path for material gain it is more important than that, your are in the path of self discovery and believe me everything is so much sweeter at the end, because you are going to have something not too many people have, you will find yourself.
Thank you very much for your comment and for sharing some of your own story. Much love and respect my friend!
Turning 60 this year and can totally relate. I'm trying things that may be what I want to be when I grow up. The only failure is the person, in this case man, who doesn't admit failure. No house of success is ever built without brinks of fear, risk and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing. See you on your next vid.
Mike from TX
Thank you Mike!
I can relate friend. Lost everything a fee years ago and still reconstructing. Every time some Covid, hurricane or earthquake appears I turn more anxious. One day at a time. We will prevail.
Yes! One day at a time!
Your work is great I enjoy it and put into practice.
Hard times teaches best lessons.
Ur fellow for over 2years but only comment rarely.
U are already an inspiration to me.
Thank you for being here my friend!
This really got to me. I am a two time cancer survivor and I just discovered I have it again and will be going through yet another surgery within the next couple of weeks. I realized somewhere along the way that one night I'm going to laydown and I'm never going to have another day so I've tried changing. It has devastated my finances my family just everything. There is so much I could say but everyone has his or her on difficulties. I just appreciate what you do and the fact you are not afraid to put it out there. Thank you
Thank you Michael! One foot in front of the other my friend.
I could never think less of a person for being brave.
I lost everything at 38. It was terrifying. I moved from Newport Beach CA to Georgia with my daughter with a couple hundred dollars. My best friend said he was worried about me and pictured me eating out of a bean can next to a trash can fire. He was joking of course. Within 6 months I was back on my feet and purchased a new house. Doing better financially now than ever in my life. Never give up cause you don’t know if a better life awaits you tomorrow.
That took a TON of strength to open up like that John. Build on and refer back to that moment of strength and courage any time you doubt yourself and feel that depression coming back. Remember John....you are loved! Much respect!
Thank you Chris!
“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NASB
That verse has been my strength that last few years.
Yes Jesus is the answer to all our problems
Your post on here is the real message I have been needing to hear. Thank you.
Thank you for this! I lost my job last year 2 weeks before my 49th Birthday. I had plans of things I wanted to do and travel to visit friends. All of that was wiped out in one day. Luckily I found a job within two weeks but my income is a lot lower now and all my money goes to bills. Here I am on my way to fifty eking my life day by day. There are days (and nights) of depression but I know it will pass. Your videos are an inspiration to me and have gotten me motivated to do channel myself but about cooking and crafts. Thanks again for this, I was in a bad spot and you helped me forget about that and I realize I am not alone.
Cheers!
I went into and survived being on a coma 10/2020. Right about the time of this video came to you tube. I didn't see it until 4/2021 when I was formally realeased from a medical watch. I have been where you are at. KEEP GOING, man so true.
Ya, I survived, lost 150 lbs, I hit the gym like a forrest fire 6 days a week and feel like I'm in my 30's. In Dec I will turn 62. No, it was not supposed to happen like this. And no, I was not supposed to get better, ever. Crazy thing is, I got medically better than better. I am a different person.
I felt just like you. Your talk didn't fix me but I don't feel like shit anymore. You inspired me. I have a gazillion dollars of debt but dude......I feel like I am 35 again. My body is much more than a dad body now. Now, I look damn good in anything I wear. I take your knowledge serous. You know what your talking about. It works. I had to find 1 F'ing positive to get, master, and refine. I got it in the gym. On 6/2021 I didn't break the bank but I started getting new cloaths. I am starting to accumulate more stuff to wear to work. Wow, talk about another medical mirricle, how people now notice me. I have 30 year olds ask me....me of all of the GOAT's of fashion disasters, what I'm wearing and what store carries this stuff.
Now I am not some freak coma survivor, I am a hot 61 year old guy getting hit on multiple times a day (no, I'm not that popular, I work at a big bank). Young women.
You said "if I only help 1 person it will be worth it." I am writing you know to say - dude, that guy is me.
Thank You for saying what your did. It made a difference...to me.
Thank you very much Brad! I’m so happy for you!
John, thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I would never have guessed you were struggling since the quality of your content has never wavered. You have helped me think about my own situation and realize if I am lucky, I may still have a lot of life left to live.
Thanks for your comment David!
Hey Jon,
Just wanted to say that you are one of my favorites RUclipsrs and of all your excellent videos, this one is my favorite!
Congratulations on all your success and keep up the excellent work! Thank you and best wishes!!!
Thank you!
Why would we think differently? Quality of a person is not measured by what he owns but how he gifts us with his sincere willingness to help his fellow man. Every one goes through shit young or old poor or rich. Don’t feel bad.
I completely could relate to this talk. I started again at the age of 46. Got divorced as she cheated. Was made redundant from my job . My background is operations and general management, I moved out suddenly with no place to go and suffered a heart attack from all the stress. I was willing to just leave the earth and all the problems I had. My three young boys gave me the drive to get my sh1t together , stop feeling sorry for myself Regroup and focus. I subsequently 7 years on have found happiness with my second wife and have a Great job and a great relationship with my kids. Life does go on even when we are ready to give up. I am now older and wiser and stronger mentally and more resilient. In the system men usually get a raw deal as did I but it’s what you do with this adversity and how you turn it into your favour to make it work for you. My life motto which is tattooed on my back is it is what it is. I have always been s believer that it’s ok to make mistakes, learn from them and accept them know that you have to have bad times to appreciate the good ones. Life is short seize the day and make the most of this gift we take for granted called life. Stay strong all the best from the land down under. Rob
Thank you very much Rob!
I've been there....42 and my marriage ended. Feeling desperately alone but with good people, amazing family and a strong desire to get back on my feet I do believe that I can do it. Thank you for sharing John. A brave video.
Maybe you are not famous or rich (yet) as you said my friend, but you are truly you right now in front of the camera and your RUclips channel. You are changing lives around the world in a way you can't even imagine, and for this, among other reasons, better things are going to come. I'm glad that you're here. Greetings from Peru!
Thank you very much! Your kind words are appreciated!
I've always enjoyed and followed your posts from your early days when I lived in Seattle. I now live in London and rely on your advice to keep my look fresh while honoring my American roots in an incredible fashion forward European city.
I'm 59 years old and have made and lost more than one fortune. I came to London with modest resources to see where the opportunities would take me....always remembering to keep going and never give up. I'm now more financially successful than ever...doing a job that I love that makes a difference to millions of people. The material things (homes, cars, global travel, etc.) are great....but my drive, determination, strength and self reliance provide my greatest inner peace. The old quote really is true..."that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Thanks for your courage to share your journey. Your experience and philosophy truly inspire. Consider me a kindred spirit. All the best & keep up the great work. Your best days are ahead!
Thank you for commenting!
I am 52. Currently going through the most challenging financial crisis in my life. This resonates with me. What has been a life saver for me has been watching good content like this on YT. I have developed a positive mindset which helps me see every challenge as an opportunity. Congrats on your breakthrough 👌
Thanks for commenting! Keep going!
Mad respect, brother. I have "reinvented" myself several times in the past, but never thought I would have to again, at 58. I'm right there with you. In fact, you are helping this "old" man 😆 to age in a more refined, graceful manner. I am indebted to you.
Much appreciated Jeff!
Thank you, John. You help people; you help me. You’re a great success. I’m 57 and still trying to figure out what’s next.
Nothing in life is permanent. Choosing, in our darkest hour, to move forward takes bravery and oftentimes a radically new perspective and routine. Glad you're still among us, John. Thanks for your helpful videos.
My respect for you when up! Keep doing what you’re doing, we all appreciate it. The contents you produce is gold!
John, it takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be vulnerable to share your story in such a public venue. It’s counter to just about every way were conditioned in life to do such a thing. I wish you continued and much success as you go forward with your RUclips channel in addition to that God’s blessings!
Had absolutely no idea. I think us depressed people hide it so well. I'm also 50 and in a similar position in life. I really enjoy your content. Love your outfits in the intros. Keep it up buddy. The world is so much brighter with you around....
Thank you very much Kevin! I'm glad you're here!
Great job John. EVERYBODY at one point or another goes through some hard crap, few people have the courage to tell others about it. But, when those few stand up and tell others it gives courage to those that can't or won't talk about it. In 2008 I went from a multimillionaire to being a month or two from losing my house and being homeless with nothing else to my name. Winning is just getting up one more time than you fall down. Hang in there John and everybody else going through hell. Talk to a friend or loved one. Prayers to you all.
Appreciate you! Thanks for commenting!
I needed this brother. Every time I think that my problems in life is an isolated case that only I have but it is good to know and reassuring that someone else experienced the same thing and was able to pull through. So therefore I know I will make it through. Thank you brother.
Great video John. Especially now with all the uncertainty and job loss. Amazing how you were able to mask what was going on in your life and seem so together. Keep on, my man.
Thanks for sharing brother. Keep making content that resonates with us the middle age that know exactly what your going through.
I've followed your chanel intermittently for the past year, always figuring you were the coolest guy to hang out with. You never know the demons we all have, nowadays arguably being even worse. Thanks for sharing and as Philo's of Alexandria long long time ago said, "Be kind, for everyne you meet is fighting a hard battle" thank you so much for this.
Thank you for sharing. Strength and Honor. Keep moving forward!