Mind blown that I have found you, or been led to your You-Tube videos. I am so very grateful. I need this. I will be seeking a therapist who is trained in IFS. 🥰
Thank you Dr. Tori. In times of extreme difficulty when I feel all broken listening to you with so much empathy reminds me that my brain is doing what it’s supposed to do. ❤❤
Thank you so much. Im a therapist and I apreciate all the information you share in all your videos. I just suscribe to your channel, it is wonderful! Congrats. Leslie from México
Short answer is yes, definitely. Although I would say that really it may depend just as much on the therapist themselves, and their ability to really make space for the client to be honest and curious about themselves, even over what modality they use. That being said, the reason I use, and teach, and try to integrate across a number of systems that I would call EXPERIENTIAL, is that experiential forms of therapy are the ones most focused on allowing the client's underlying (whether you call it implicit, unconscious, bottom-up, or even right-brain) ways of processing the world to become explicit. From that place there is more opening to have experiences that can disconfirm their expectations of reality (and in fact the space to truly know themselves without being punished is in an of itself often a powerful disconfirm for folks). Bruce Ecker talks about the difference between counteractive forms of therapy and non-counteractive ones. Counteractive forms of therapy take the symptom there on the surface (whether a troubling behavior or thought or emotion), and just tries to help the person do or think or feel something different. For instance in CBT you might notice that you are telling yourself you are stupid every time you make a mistake. Therefore you would practice slowing down in those moments and trying to engage more accurate ways of thinking about yourself or the situation (this is a counteractive measure because you are COUNTERACTING the problematic impulse and doing something different). This can be very helpful, but it doesn't allow the person realize WHY they were telling themselves that thought in the first place. Perhaps every time they showed any pride with their parents, they were told they were being arrogant, or were more targeted by the family in some way. Maybe they had a sibling who was struggling, and they learned to not reveal their true intelligence for fear of making that sibling feel bad and upsetting mom and dad. So without even realizing it, they picked up the habit of internally diminishing themselves in order for things to run more smoothly at home. In this case, the schema that really should be less focused on changing the believe "I am stupid," (which counteractive forms of therapy would focus on) and more focused on changing the belief "I must tell myself I am stupid so that I don't accidentally show pride and make others upset." Obviously if you can get to the underlying belief (which experiential forms of therapy have some tools to accomplish, though again it depends on the skill of the therapist as well), then you are in the real of much more profound and lasting change. Hope that makes sense! Obviously Coherence Therapy is the one that is most specifically developed to uncover underlying schemas, but other forms of experiential therapy that I love are AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), SE (Somatic Experiencing), IFS (Internal Family Systems). An IFS therapist is probably the easiest to find.
@@DrToriOlds thanks -- "For instance in CBT you might notice that you are telling yourself you are stupid every time you make a mistake." -- this is brilliant verbalizing what I have unconsciously against CBT :) It is unconscious feeling "I did this non-smart thing again" (= very close to "I am stupid"). You did know how to do it correctly, but did it again... very disturbing feeling...
Thank you, Dr. Tori! I am wanting to get my PHD and want to focus the program on IFS. Do you have any recommendations or mind sharing where you studied?
Hi Tori, love your videos and its inspiring too. Am actually interested in psychotherapy and can you suggest me some foundational books of psychotherapy? Thank you.
1:00 no. It’s thinking fast (heuristic) vs thinking slow. Experience is not as smart as logic, it’s only faster and in the case of limited time and energy to think, it is better than nothing. But it is not as smart as logical thinking.
No wonder im exhausted everyday. I am always being present and aware of myself when interacting with people because my emotional response usually always bad.
I've actually just been looking into that for some folks. The person to email would be Chris Pearson at www.chrispearson.co.uk/. He's been treating it using some of these methods, and seeming to have success. Hope that helps!
Thanks for the kind comment, KC! Yes, I do indeed plan to make more! It's been crazy with COVID childcare wise, but I'm definitely eager to make more videos as there is so much more info to get out there! I have a long list, so hopefully I'll get to it soon! Thanks for asking! :) take care, Tori
I’m a new therapist and am really interested in this work. I’ve worked in behavioral health for the last 20+ years and have found so much of why clients have depression and anxiety goes back to their childhood and what they learned their identity is. How have you been able to move them from identifying to changing their perception of themselves? I have had some positive changes from doing fear ladder exercises and CBT but notice that the idea that they can or get to change what they think of themselves is very difficult.
Great question! The thing people often miss about self-perceptions, is that we partly develop our view of self (and way we treat / relate to ourselves) out of necessity. In other words, there was a danger to valuing ourselves. There can be many dangers associated with self-love. For instance, if I realize that I'm okay (as a child), that means it is mom and dad who are at fault. And for kids, it is not psychologically safe to 'take in' that mom and dad don't know what they are doing or are cruel, because it is too destabilizing. So actually better to blame the self (as you see many kids doing). There are many examples like this where we 'learn' it is unsafe to value ourselves. So as much as you 'try' to develop self-esteem or exile the critic, it really won't work until you discover what's at stake. If the brain thinks something is unsafe, it simply won't budge around it. If you want to know more, I would recommend the book "unlocking the emotional brain". There is a chapter that outline about 20-30 most common unconscious fear about valuing one's self. The bottom line is these things are deep, and we can't just force ourself to change without going to the level where the learning actually lives. Hope that helps!
I love the concept of 'neuroception'. And in some ways this video explains in part what the brain is reading as it constantly / unconsciously scans for danger. When I've trained with Porges he focuses a lot on universal danger signals (like deep, low sounds), but I'm sure he would say that our brain is filtering all input through previous associations that 'teach' us what is safe and what is not safe, and that is what neuroception is all about. Thanks for the question!
Mind blown that I have found you, or been led to your You-Tube videos. I am so very grateful. I need this. I will be seeking a therapist who is trained in IFS. 🥰
You are a genius… and I can feel that kindness is your inspiration. Thank you
Wow, thank you! I really appreciate your saying so, Erin!! ;)
Wow thank you - This is a treasure chest of useful and helpful information. You are a great communicator!
Great information as usual❤
Dr. Tori, your videos are excellent, your explanation is clear, and your voice is very soothing. What a delight it's to watch you! 💕
Thank you Dr. Tori. In times of extreme difficulty when I feel all broken listening to you with so much empathy reminds me that my brain is doing what it’s supposed to do. ❤❤
I love your work Tori. Love it. Thank you so much.
Dear Dr Tori, thank you for your wonderful explanation!
good video ✅
This is so helpful! Thank you, Tori!
thank u dr tori .. i'm a new subscriber and i love your vids 🙏
Thanks so much for saying so!! I really appreciate the positive feedback!!! :)
I agree a lot
@@DrToriOlds i'm a psychotherapist here in Italy and i love your work. Maybe i can do videos in Italians on these topics as well
Love your way of explaining things
Thank you.
Thank you so much. Im a therapist and I apreciate all the information you share in all your videos. I just suscribe to your channel, it is wonderful! Congrats.
Leslie from México
Oh Wonderful! I'm so glad to be of service to you! And thanks for subscribing!! I hope to get some more videos out this summer. Wish me luck! :)
@@DrToriOlds
I wish you success!!! :)
6:48 Self awareness can become our best teacher
Are some forms of psychotherapy more effective than others at accessing the meanings and reactions in the emotional brain?
Short answer is yes, definitely. Although I would say that really it may depend just as much on the therapist themselves, and their ability to really make space for the client to be honest and curious about themselves, even over what modality they use. That being said, the reason I use, and teach, and try to integrate across a number of systems that I would call EXPERIENTIAL, is that experiential forms of therapy are the ones most focused on allowing the client's underlying (whether you call it implicit, unconscious, bottom-up, or even right-brain) ways of processing the world to become explicit. From that place there is more opening to have experiences that can disconfirm their expectations of reality (and in fact the space to truly know themselves without being punished is in an of itself often a powerful disconfirm for folks).
Bruce Ecker talks about the difference between counteractive forms of therapy and non-counteractive ones. Counteractive forms of therapy take the symptom there on the surface (whether a troubling behavior or thought or emotion), and just tries to help the person do or think or feel something different. For instance in CBT you might notice that you are telling yourself you are stupid every time you make a mistake. Therefore you would practice slowing down in those moments and trying to engage more accurate ways of thinking about yourself or the situation (this is a counteractive measure because you are COUNTERACTING the problematic impulse and doing something different).
This can be very helpful, but it doesn't allow the person realize WHY they were telling themselves that thought in the first place. Perhaps every time they showed any pride with their parents, they were told they were being arrogant, or were more targeted by the family in some way. Maybe they had a sibling who was struggling, and they learned to not reveal their true intelligence for fear of making that sibling feel bad and upsetting mom and dad. So without even realizing it, they picked up the habit of internally diminishing themselves in order for things to run more smoothly at home. In this case, the schema that really should be less focused on changing the believe "I am stupid," (which counteractive forms of therapy would focus on) and more focused on changing the belief "I must tell myself I am stupid so that I don't accidentally show pride and make others upset." Obviously if you can get to the underlying belief (which experiential forms of therapy have some tools to accomplish, though again it depends on the skill of the therapist as well), then you are in the real of much more profound and lasting change.
Hope that makes sense! Obviously Coherence Therapy is the one that is most specifically developed to uncover underlying schemas, but other forms of experiential therapy that I love are AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), SE (Somatic Experiencing), IFS (Internal Family Systems). An IFS therapist is probably the easiest to find.
@@DrToriOlds Very clear. Thanks!
@@DrToriOlds thanks -- "For instance in CBT you might notice that you are telling yourself you are stupid every time you make a mistake." -- this is brilliant verbalizing what I have unconsciously against CBT :) It is unconscious feeling "I did this non-smart thing again" (= very close to "I am stupid"). You did know how to do it correctly, but did it again... very disturbing feeling...
Thank you, Dr. Tori! I am wanting to get my PHD and want to focus the program on IFS. Do you have any recommendations or mind sharing where you studied?
Hi, thank you for your video, learned a lot!
Glad it was helpful! :)
❤❤❤❤
Hi Tori, love your videos and its inspiring too. Am actually interested in psychotherapy and can you suggest me some foundational books of psychotherapy? Thank you.
1:00 no. It’s thinking fast (heuristic) vs thinking slow. Experience is not as smart as logic, it’s only faster and in the case of limited time and energy to think, it is better than nothing. But it is not as smart as logical thinking.
No wonder im exhausted everyday. I am always being present and aware of myself when interacting with people because my emotional response usually always bad.
Hi Tori. Do you offer one on one therapy?
can you explain misophonia somehow and how we can treat it ?
I've actually just been looking into that for some folks. The person to email would be Chris Pearson at www.chrispearson.co.uk/. He's been treating it using some of these methods, and seeming to have success. Hope that helps!
I've just discovered your videos today and am really learning from them. Do you have plans to continue making them?
Thanks for the kind comment, KC! Yes, I do indeed plan to make more! It's been crazy with COVID childcare wise, but I'm definitely eager to make more videos as there is so much more info to get out there! I have a long list, so hopefully I'll get to it soon!
Thanks for asking! :)
take care, Tori
I’m a new therapist and am really interested in this work. I’ve worked in behavioral health for the last 20+ years and have found so much of why clients have depression and anxiety goes back to their childhood and what they learned their identity is. How have you been able to move them from identifying to changing their perception of themselves? I have had some positive changes from doing fear ladder exercises and CBT but notice that the idea that they can or get to change what they think of themselves is very difficult.
Great question! The thing people often miss about self-perceptions, is that we partly develop our view of self (and way we treat / relate to ourselves) out of necessity. In other words, there was a danger to valuing ourselves. There can be many dangers associated with self-love. For instance, if I realize that I'm okay (as a child), that means it is mom and dad who are at fault. And for kids, it is not psychologically safe to 'take in' that mom and dad don't know what they are doing or are cruel, because it is too destabilizing. So actually better to blame the self (as you see many kids doing). There are many examples like this where we 'learn' it is unsafe to value ourselves. So as much as you 'try' to develop self-esteem or exile the critic, it really won't work until you discover what's at stake. If the brain thinks something is unsafe, it simply won't budge around it. If you want to know more, I would recommend the book "unlocking the emotional brain". There is a chapter that outline about 20-30 most common unconscious fear about valuing one's self. The bottom line is these things are deep, and we can't just force ourself to change without going to the level where the learning actually lives. Hope that helps!
@@DrToriOlds thx your great
What are your thoughts about the concept of "neuroception" as coined by Dr. Porgess?
I love the concept of 'neuroception'. And in some ways this video explains in part what the brain is reading as it constantly / unconsciously scans for danger. When I've trained with Porges he focuses a lot on universal danger signals (like deep, low sounds), but I'm sure he would say that our brain is filtering all input through previous associations that 'teach' us what is safe and what is not safe, and that is what neuroception is all about.
Thanks for the question!
Lived experiences constitute the priors of a Bayesian probabilistic estimate. Nothing non-logical about this.