No Bad Parts: Unblending From Protectors in IFS Therapy
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- Parts work, IFS therapy, unblending from protectors and really understanding that there are truly "no bad parts," for an in depth discussion of these topics and more check out the Q&A livestream for this video here: • No Bad Parts | IFS Ser...
Welcome to Part 3 of my series: What is IFS? Internal Family Systems Therapy, Explained. In this video, I discuss parts work and how IFS uses the technique of unblending from our protector parts in order to help us to break free from old patterns and strong emotional reactions that make us feel out of control. I explain the neuroscience of implicit memory and why the patterns we learned in childhood are so difficult to change. I discuss IFS's approach for unblending parts, and how once we are able to get some perspective from "our parts" and see them as just a part of a larger self, we are able to connect with a wiser adult self, the "true self," who can care for our inner child. I describe what "protectors" are, and how to work with these protector parts. Finally, I explain how this parts work can unlock our capacity for self leadership and rescue the wounded parts beneath our protector parts, who needed protecting. #toriolds #partswork #ifs #selfcompassion
00:00 Why Are Old Patterns So Hard to Break?
05:02 Unblending Parts
08:09 Self Therapy: Caring For Our Parts
10:06 What are Protectors or Protector Parts?
13:36 “Self Leadership” in IFS
14:58 Once You’ve Unblended from Protector Parts, What’s Next?
For information about my "Minding the Heart" training groups or to sign up for my video courses and earn mental health education CEUs, check out toriolds.com
As a therapist (non-IFS trained) reading and working inspired by this model I truly want to thank you for your content! I know Frank Anderson writes and teaches the neuro science behind IFS, but your approach is by far my favourite. You should seriously consider takling more about this subject. The delivery of content is clear, easy to follow and engagig. I think content like this will be a game-changer in the more «sciency-oriented» groups in academia and professionals.
Thanks so much for these thoughts!! (And for the kind comments as well). But yes, I hope bringing in the science might help people in the academic world be more open to depth oriented approaches!! ;)
Aasaiuyhgifuui
The science helps the depth psychology come out especially with so many people using heavily manualized approaches with traumatized and vulnerable populations.
Couldn’t agree more. I’m a big fan now!
I find it really difficult to think abstractly, so the scientific aspect really helps me a lot. I want to heal so badly but I take a lot of things literally or the wrong way and then don’t know what to do. Thank you for making these videos!
The way you speak and your voice is very therapeutic, thank you
I am currently working with a counsellor trained in IFS. I did not find this work intuitive and struggled to do the work.
He had me watch Dick Schwarz videos and a few others.
I must say your explanation and delivery are finally allowing me to full grasp this seemingly basic topic.
Thank you for putting these videos out there. I am moving on to the fourth video in you IFS series.
I really need to unblend from some of my child parts!
Learned this technique from the book and it changed my life in very short time
im looking for an IFS therapist in bosotn area
I can’t believe these videos are free.
Thanks Matt!! I appreciate your watching and commenting on my videos! ;)
You are a True Life Saver, love and respect for your work. God bless you.
I am super impressed with Dr. Olds's approach. It's like re-learning IFS all over again. I am blown away at the simplicity in the complex model she presents. Wow, amazing. I am going to re-look at how I present IFS to my Clients. I have used her content in my meet and greet with new clients. I have been seeing some things that did bother me about IFS, and this may not be the spot to say anything, but I was not aware that IFS therapists were charging $250-$325 an hour (yes this does depend on where you live) for IFS sessions. I am sure they believe they are worth it, and I want to support those parts of them that are so confident. But I believe Dr. Schwartz's mission to heal the globe starts with us IFS trained practitioners being willing to make IFS affordable. People should not have to take on a second job in order to get access to it. I am super passionate about this style of therapy and believe everyone should have access to it. Thank you Dr. Olds for being so clear and helpful in your explanations. Your content is making a huge difference.
Hey I agree. I had to stop my IFS therapy because it was too expensive. I've been spending time with Tori's videos because I feel they explain the model much better than the IFS Institue's videos. I love IFS as well, and these videos are super helpful. Thank you Tori!!!!
So glad to hear this! And to find this video + this specific comment thread.
I’ve spent years of learning inner child concepts for healing & recently learned about cPTSD & IFS through an interview with Dr. Jacob Ham who has an equally amazing way - calm & loving too! - of explaining brain science related to IFS & parts. Then I found Dick Schwartz’s work & am reading No Bad Parts now. I’ve been looking for an IFS informed therapist & suspected that $$ would be a barrier as most don’t accept insurance (single, living on a limited income & returning to school late in life).
I’ve benefited from community support in other parts of my life & have been thinking that a network of support groups for folks wanting to gather with each other in weekly in-person or virtual meetings would be amazing! Say a lay-person IFS support group that reads, discusses, shares about how PARTS are feeling, & maybe using the IFS workbook.
I’ve been searching MeetUp.com but so far just a few in my area are led by people who want to monetize their limited new epiphanies re: IFS.
My idea is a totally free model of likeminded, dedicated folks wanting to heal & grow & share. Many of the readings & talks on IFS put a fine point on how important it is to do this work in connection with others. As has been mentioned here, the therapist model is great for those with insurance or money to afford it. So many of us are not in that boat. The barriers are huge.
Now I’m excited to continue listening to these videos & learning from Dr. olds.
Wishing you all a good journey + some love to offer to all of your parts.
🌻🌱💫
Thank God for younger people like you who are using this modality.
I had to pause at 4:14 cause that was such a gut punch to my inner child. That "part" of me; the little girl who is so scared and alone, needs just as much attention and care today as she did in 1987. OK aaaand hitting play...😊
Your explanations are good, clear and easy to follow. Thank you. I like your point about how when the "adult" comes out it should direct it's attention inward to the parts first before dealing with the outside world. Sort of like when you go flying and they tell yout that if the oxygen masks fall down you have to put YOURS on first before your kids.
Exactly!! Yes, if we worked so hard to get in a grounded, clearheaded, compassionate space...why not use it to do our own healing work first?? Thank you for the comment ;)
@Dr. Tori Olds could it be that some people are just dysfunctional and deficient? What if their parents were truly amazing?
What?!! This was so good! I’m blown away. I just tried it and was able unblend right away and then I did feel that immediate sense of being in the adult self she described. I can’t believe how well this worked that I could do it right away. I’m going to keep practicing this. This was such a good explanation. Thank you so much! 💚
Oh, I'm so glad to hear this!! Wonderful! Thanks for letting me know! ;)
@@DrToriOlds thank you!!! And thanks again for your videos! I love your channel. ❤️
That's fantastic! ♥️♥️♥️
Your content is top-notch! You explained this beautifully. It's only a matter of time before this channel blows up.
Thanks so much, Stephen!! I really appreciate your saying so! ;)
@@DrToriOlds awesome!!! Thank you 🙏
I finally understand and now can read Swartz’s book.
Such a clear explanation. And i feel you invented ' psychological muscle memory'. Thank you so much!
Im a trainee preparing for a client and this was so unbelievably helpful. Thank you for breaking it down like this. I LOVE IFS and that’s partly because of you!!
Oh, you're so welcome! Thanks for the kind comment! ;)
Very cool. I'm an advanced manual therapist in practice since 1995, working now primarily using a Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy approach with a polyvagal/trauma informed focus. Just heard about IFS about a week ago and have been deep diving into content, ordered Richard Scwartz's books and have used the method with myself, a client, my sister and a friend as I've learned it so far. WOW. It seamlessly works with the somatic component of trauma therapy through the polyvagal lense and what I'm finding is that each of our parts literally has it's own neuro-endocrine physiology that lives in our body as well. The science of mind in the body is fascinating as well!! Thanks so much for sharing this!
This is the combo working for me too. (CPTSD)
You have done a wonderful job of making IFS therapy understandable.
Bravo!
I have started creating videos around this topic recently, but I love the fresh angle Dr. Tori is taking, it's so organic and inspiring. ❤
After watching this I have realised that during my own self analysis over the last year a protector part has been stepping in the majority of the time.. I will try and figure out how to unblend from it.. Not sure how but thank you for giving me the knowledge to identify that 🙏 it's made me feel hopeful ❤
'The survival strategy of a 6 year old.'.... so clear.... so true.... thank u xxx
i rlly love ur gentle teaching! it makes me feel safe to look at my issues without feeling on defense or being defeated abt my many imperfections.😭i feel so lucky bc im rlly seeing the power that the simple shift of perspective has in real self-improvement💕💖
Yes...so simple and yet so profound!! Thanks for the lovely comment!
Yes! So true💚
is it working
This should be common knowledge. Learning with my holistic practitioner has literally changed my life. No bad parts by Richard Schwartz is an amazing book to help you heal
Dear Tori, if it wasn’t for you I would have never gotten into IFS, I have been fearing it for years and now I can finally see the different parts in me and also had a conversation with one of them yesterday and feel so much lighter. You are doing god’s work, thank you so much
I learned sooo much from Richard Schwartz, and pay homage to him for developing IFS. And you as well, Dr. Tori, deserve a great deal of praise for the way you packaged this information in both a highly creative and learnable way !
I have known this thing with the inner child for a long time - but i never heard it being explained so easy and understandable! Thank you for the effort!
I love IFS. You have given a tremendously intelligent and clear description here! Well done! Very helpful, and a great video to which I can send people unfamiliar with the concepts! "If you've ever been human before" is a good line, too.
Thank you!
That’s the best analogy of awareness I’ve heard. “If someone put something really close to your face and asked you to watch it, you would naturally pull back to see it” wow. Also. You have a beautiful voice
SO appreciate how you explain IFS Tori! 🙏 Very clear and comprehensive. 🤓
I really enjoy watching you describe in fabulous detail how things reconnect back without your awareness. Becoming aware of the parts is now step one yo walking out. I have severe childhood trauma and all the parts want to leave.
💗 always wondering about the part of me at six years old and what she strategized to survive
Some part of me is holding me back😞
emotions & behaviors…as a muscle reflex
Thank you for this video
Only heard of IFS once before
On the one hand, I unfortunately knew a person whose protector had been fed and strengthened for so long that the coping mechanism engulfed the person, that she has no stable personality left. That's the extreme I saw.
OTOH, your content is much more practical than most theorists and therapists who tell the listener that they have to do shadow work or meditation for the lifetime. Who would carry out such methods to know if they worked at the end of one's life?
So glad to have found your videos. They explain IFS way better than any others I've seen. Thank you
I'm in awe of how well you explained this! Thank you
So helpful, and clearly explained. Thank you Tori for your light, kind approach.
Absolutely amazing. Thank you.
You are such a brilliant observationist.. listening & observing & accommodating the parts or selves is the way to help yourself.
My goodness, I'm getting goosebumps from resonance and excitement. Thank you!
This video has been so helpful since understanding the function of different parts, like unblended and protectors, that have been hard for me to conceptualize. Thank you!
Thank you, your videos are truly a gift to society🙏🙂
This is a beautiful explanation of IFS and the best I've found so far. Thank you!
Very well articulated.Thankyou.
Helpful and very Claire! Congratulations!! Thank you!!
I really really like your soothing voice & great way of explaining this. Lovely video.
I cant thank you enough. Life changing moments of my life
You’re amazing and changing the trajectory of my life with these videos !
This content was so helpful and as mentioned clear. You have a gift for teaching IFS and I look forward to becoming more integrated!!! Thank you!
Thank you so much for those videos. It helped me to understand myself better and heal. Really appreciated!
Thank you so much, currently trying to do IFS on my own and I come back to your wonderful videos to help me grasp these concepts
AMFT in California here! Found your channel yesterday and appreciate how you explain things. You feel warm and kind and it is soothing/reassuring hearing your voice. :) Keep it up!
Thank you so much! You explained IFS in a great way! Awesome!!❤
These videos are beautifully put together. I'm new to IFS, but I'm so happy to have landed here first. You are very clear and down to earth. Thank you!
Hello how are you doing today?
Thank you so much for producing these videos. Is it really helping me understand IFS in my own therapy work.
Your channel is so awesome. Very informative and explained well. Of course, you don't need me to tell you this - but thank you. Sharing this information can be a very helpful thing for a generation who are so self-aware and seemingly desperate for "self-help". The cool thing about IFS, and this might shock some getting into it, is that there are more than one "selfs" to help! There are many!
Thank You so much, brought me much joy
I don't have anything original to say other than thank you. Just starting on this IFS journey.
Appreciate you, Dr. Olds.
Thanks Scott!! I appreciate YOU! :)
A lot of the intonation through the word choice of describing IFS, from many sources in the community, implies that many parts, like protectors, are to some degree, aware and intentional about who and what they are. I hope people understand, it's quite commonly not what a real client might face. My very first part that I did IFS with, was a protector, but did not know it. She knew nothing, and intended nothing, even thought the technical stuff was still there, the protector themself, had no idea they even exist, no idea or conscious intention of what or why they were doing something. This protector technically stepped down once processing was done, but there were no "what are you protecting", or any awareness that the technical thing took place. The vulnerable aspect, showed up, as some argument to what we were just talking about, kind of like, "yeah, but now what if...", instead of being a clear demonstrated process. IFS is very complex, and the "interface", or "end user" experience is quite a bit different sometimes, a little harder to read and identify parts, than someone might expect! A part can come up, literally mid sentence, and as the part you think you're talking to (no switch, no new form, really really not obvious!).
Yeah, the point your making here, about the complexity and also individuality of how people interface with and experience their own mind is really on point. Even the idea of a 'part' of course is a little reductionistic (even though often we have to simplify reality to usefully engage in it), because there are all sort of 'neural nets' processing tons of information and at play at any second...and so it really is a subtle and interwoven and complex domain. So it makes sense that different people might experience (or even get benefit from) the idea of parts very differently. Thanks for making this point...
Love this perspective. Its so helpful. Thank you
Most people are not aware of their own sense of aliveness. Oddly enough we are working with illusions we mistook for ourselves. We are not our thoughts, body etc. If we are our thoughts then which one are we? They come and go and the only thing we know is knowing most fundamentally. To start to see this then getting distance between what we mistook for us and knowing, we can more quickly unblend/dis identify the predicament in the moment at hand.
Wonderful video, thx
I like your unique perspective on IFS
Excellent. Thank you!
Just got an answer to a question i asked my Spirit yesterday:-).... when we moved to another country and some parts didn't felt safe my body changed. It became stronger and much more athletic without over training. I now get it why. The parts can change our body. How fascinating. Now let's hear them out how they really feel so that i can get in some old dresses again:-):-).Thank you.
My 14 year old self is really struggling. I’m doing parts work and she needs the most work
This video inspired me a great insight ! It’s like the protectors have been waiting all the time for Self to step in for them to relax and integrate to the wholeness of Self. Dr Tori why not create a video of Self extending compassion to parts etc so that integration can happen (?) thanks !
Glad to hear it! Hopefully this video will help with what you are looking for: ruclips.net/video/Oy6lM8W363Q/видео.html
Beautiful explanation!
So Well Explained
Nailed it again, Doc! Many Thanks 🙏💙
Thanks so much!! Appreciate your consistent support ;)
@@DrToriOlds You're most welcome 🙏
I appreciated the images you provided. I have been stuck blended with a part ever since I got ptsd. A few days ago I became slightly unblended from it and I felt like I could finally breathe naturally. It reblended again though.
Wow...when covid happened my pelvis went into lockdown too. "forcing" me to unpack old worn out "clothing" that i wore. i realized many things about myself during this time. i am sill unpacking these things. My walking is affected by years of carrying around this heavy "baggage". It has been quite the journey. I would not say its a vacation, or perhaps it has been a vacation and the way i am looking or experiencing this vacation is one of Soul Play Not your "usual" kind of vacation i suppose Writing these words here i think has given me a new perspective on what this means. Thank you for this video as it is helpful in my feeling empowered in m y own healing journey.
Beautiful videos , thank you : )
Excellent video 👍🏼 wow
Brilliant thanks.....
Super helpful
I hope you will make more videos. You are good. (Fellow psychologist)
Your work is ahead of it's time. It is very concise and clear with short, simple spaces. How can I learn more about your next live stream schedule?
Oh, that's great to hear! Thank you Able! I'm really trying to get more content recorded so I can get on some sort of regular live stream schedule or something...so it's definitely my intention to have more engagement on youtube...but might be a few months out! Sorry!!
Thanks for responding Tori. I have watched 1 live stream. Any idea on when the next one may be coming?
I was so delighted to see you have a short video of Deaf people and I am wondering if you work with Deaf clients and if you sign yourself. Thanks.
I say again when I hear others speak on this topic I recoiled. It seems as though they were promoting some type of mental disorder. With Dr.Olds explicit and engaging presentation it suddenly seems as something I can try without becoming loopy
Thanks
I"ve watched a few videos on this and this is one of the best ones I've seen, thank you. Anyone know the song at the very end?
Description of parts with it knowing only what is in the net 3:08. I'm skeptical about this. The net is connected to the rest of our brain, and so has some communication with the rest of it. But it's limited in some way.
I suspect there are parts and their are Parts. There is a full range of parts going from simple memory bundles of traumatic experiences to full blown alters in DID. So parts can fall into levels of ability:
= Replay machines. Trigger => replay an event, somatic experience, emotional reaction. This is the mechanism behind flashbacks.
= Reaction parts. Trigger => activate survival machien. E.g. loud noise, dive for cover. Mom's voice => fawn. These parts are aware of the current environment, and can make some decisions as to what to say, and how to say it.
= Player parts. These are like characters in a play. They have a role, and can deal with new situations, but have limited scope of action. I think that Protectors and Gatekeepers are player parts. Player parts have only limited awareness of other parts, except as they interact when multiple parts are activiated. I think my teen parts are aware of each other, and my 8 yr olds are aware, but neither group interacts in any meaningful way with the other group.
= Stars. Carrying the character a step further. Stars have clear agency. They can make decisions, and are fully aware of other parts. Alters in DID are definitely Stars.
This may need to be fleshed out some. May need to distinguish more types.
* Parts are often unaware that time has passed. But if you tell them, they can learn that time has passed. Fisher talks about his a lot, but fails to mention that you often have to tell them many times if they are a simple part.
* But my parts seem to have access to more recent events than their formation time. On occasion I have deliberately blended with parts to deal with a particular situation. E.g. I tend to be a people pleaser. But I needed to fire my therapist for making me do stuff that was only getting me more upset, and wasn't moving me forward. (He was dismissive of my parts, figured all I needed was a course of CPT, and was surprised when 10 of the 50 worksheets I turned of the events I described were him.) Anyway, I knew that I I went in as Me, I would be my usual meek sucky self. So on the drive in, I asked Rebel (15 year teen -- bundle of unfocused silent anger) and Slipstick (Similar age, geeky sarcastic nerd who is really good at pushing people away) to help. These parts clearly had access to current state.
I think that parts therapy is missing a bet here. In IFS, and simiarly in Janina Fisher's approach, there is constant talk of unblending. But there is much merit in partial blending. And dealing with situations as a combination of the the learned pattern response, mediated with more conscious control has multiple benefits:
A: It gives the part experience in the current "I am here, this is now" fostering reconnection with Me.
B: It means that my Self can use the Part's particular approach as a tool, but perhaps with more generalization.
I'm fortunate, that my parts don't hijack me. Even very well blended, I'm still aware as Me. So this may not help with other survivors until they are good at dual awareness, and can keep some of themselves in Here/Now.
I really appreciated reading this and, in particular, your sharing about the positive aspects of blending. This has been one of my obstacles in fully embracing IFS. (It's fine because I don't really ever fully adopt anything but it does trip me up when I do try to dig deeper. It's off-putting.) There seems to be a hierarchy created where the "Self" is superior to these other parts and the goal is almost to convince them that they're not needed when, in fact, I have found them to be a great resource and to constantly push them aside feels completely wrong. As someone who has been hijacked by my parts in triggering situations (and only recently "discovered" this), it seems even more vital to be able to validate, access and call upon them so that I retain that blendedness that includes my "Self." In fact, the more I'm in communication with them, the more I'm aware of their need to be included in my definition of Self as well as my need for them in order to be a whole, genuine, and dynamic "Self." My periodic interest in delving further into IFS since I first came to know of it has actually been in the hope that this was the ultimate goal but it never quite feels that way.
For me, I thought about my final aim doing all this. Most of all I‘m searching for real Freedom. I used to get hijacked by old traumatised fear feelings/ parts and wanted to end this. Another part acted like a protector and was highly perfectionist-like, putting me under A LOT of pressure, compensating for little self esteem. Other parts were fighting each other causing a lot of confusion. When I found them all, talked to each one, even found quite a few child states/ parts, it was so much better and peaceful!
I would totally support blending and would for example never leave my child alone in a safe room. It was good to have it there when I worked with my Trauma. But later I realized that my child didn‘t want to stay there! I follow my very own instincts here. And I realized that my parts want to be together!!! For me my current best aim is: find all troubled and protected parts and heal them and take care of them. All parts should like and respect all other parts, which includes a lot of inner work and talking, bringing pairs of parts together and check how they feel towards each other. They really should know each others strengths and weaknesses. And every one should respect all the others. Even seemingly weak parts do have great qualities, like empathy or deep thought or sensitivity, took me a long time to like that.
After a while they literally formed like a circle, looking at each other, knowing everyone, and really promising each other Support. Yes, sometimes they still quarrel… . And they can grow together and share Information. I think the best thing is that I have a full range of behaviour Choices. Protectors still act as protectors, but for the best of the whole community, which often means adapting for them. Discipline for example ALSO got the new job not just to work, but to check with energy levels and take care of getting enough rest or play time for children parts and in the end to take disciplined care for energy for everyone 😀
For example: when I play improvised theater my child comes out with so many colorful associations and non-linear thinking. I always get asked how I get so many ideas. When I need to do bookkeeping for my business I need my queen, her endless discipline and checking everything three times. Sometimes I need to defend myself, I let my pirate do this. Lately and to my own surprise, queen and pirate fused together! Their images connected, now the queen has a pirate hat and looks somewhat wilder than before !! Wonder what that means to my future behaviour in the outside world…. Lately I am looking for and collecting maternal energy and behavior cause my child states were looking for more of that.
I asked around with the higher-self-ever-compassionate-watcher energy who wanted to learn that. To my own surprise, pirate-queen is now doing that! She was always my main and biggest part. I wonder, when I get my children parented well enough in the future and will be ready to mourn trough some pain from my past - an ongoing but healthy-feeling process- will they grow up inside? I don‘t think so. I think they will become wild and free and happy and even sometimes roll around inner (and outer!) lawns and fly together on my Pegasus. Together with queen. Yeah, sounds strange, but that is my inner picture for life energy itself. GREAT part, that one, look out for it 😊👌
Found it in a phase of deep Depression tethered in a very narrow stable and freed it. It literally got me from quite the depression to childlike joy in a few weeks back then.
So who am I in all that? Well. Everything. The watcher. The parts. Their weaknesses and strengths. Wonder what happens next…
Good energy to you all.
@@thenellierose I hope that I don't lose my parts. If I can keep them around, I will never be lonely again.
Thanks for good pace and subtitles. 😊 it made a lot of sense. What does IFS stand for?
Internal Family Systems
12:25 sounds like you're describing the immune system, the balance, yin-yang.
Interesting point!
I LOVE IFS - it feels more helpful than other methods.
My question is - if I never learned how to react/process something in a healthy way - how can I become my own healer later on?
Yes, I can definitely be compassionate to that 6 year old who was exposed to pornographic images, and that 14 year old pre pubescent girl who witnessed a guy RIGHT next to her having sex with her friend while looking into HER horrified eyes with a twisted smile.
BUT. . although my adult self can be compassionate, which is helpful, I don't know what to say or do to help my child self heal/process so my adult self doesn't FREAK OUT every time sex and nudity pop up on TV.
Love these videos! I’m wondering how this looks in session/how to apply in session? Role play videos or recorded sessions available?
Agree. Need to see this in action. This could be a combination of role play based on tapes of sessions, or on actual sessions with lighting to hide the identity of the patient, and with the patient's consent of course.
Hi ..fashion query ! Where is the blouse from ? Really like it. Huge thanks for what you do ✨ I'm learning so many things that just make sense 🙏
When you move onto simplicity or rigidity by way of moving into memory is likely explained in a fairly straightforward manner. It's because you're not fully present in the moment and you are involved in the minds charged memories. You have to be fully present to fully respond to memory or anything occurring, otherwise we're on autopilot reacting to previously stored memories.
It's interesting she states we can ask our brain to observe something and create distance from it or extricate ourselves from a mental bind. This is to say we are not our brain or the seeming emotions stored there. Who are we then?
Have you read Michael Singer's The Untethered Soul? He talks about this very thing you are asking. Great read.
Too many parts, so little time!
Hi, Dr. Tori! I'm starting my Psychology degree and would like to learn the basics of neuroscience and behavior. I've already had a semester of neuroscience, but would like to go deepe into its relationship with Psychology. Could you recommend a good book/online course/textbook? Thanks thanks thanks!
thank you for the great video!
I have a question though: how do you know that you are actually talking to a part and not just to your self (no pun intended) by just forcing yourself to something and thinking morethoughts. How does one know you are REALLY talking to a protector for example?
I fear that one having a dialog with a part could just be imagined.
Hi tori, thanks so much for this phenomenal series which has been life changing for me… a question that I’m struggling to find an answer to, relates to where the boundaries lie for different parts… for example, I have a part that says ‘oh no, I’m going to spiral down into despair’ and I assume the anxious feeling that comes with that is from that same part (?)… although there’s a sense that the anxious feeling could be coming from a deeper part that’s exhausted from the previous part always freaking out… if that makes sense? Almost like the anxious feelings that come alongside the ‘oh no part’ r actually anxiety from another part?.. I see a great therapist but struggling to explain to him so wondered if u had any thoughts? I guess my wider question is - r parts always a little bundle of thoughts/feelings and impulses, or can a part be just a thought or just a feeling which triggers some other part? Sorry for such a long message!
@ David Black : parts are our different personalities in our "internal family system". See also voice dialogue therapy & disowned selves. Hope you find this answer satisfies some curiosity.🍁🌻🦋
David, you could ask the part in question whether it is holding the deep anxiety or whether that comes from a different part. Parts generally will give you the answer. One scenario could be that a protector is sending the message "Oh no(...)" because it notices an exiled part (underlying trauma wound or bruise) being triggered. The protector could fear that triggered emotion of the exile (younger you), and then could become anxious about it and send you messages or make you do things. Another scenario can be where two parts are polarised (opposite strategies, for instance), which causes anxiety and exhaustion for a third part. These are just examples. Other possibilities exist as well. Your own system has the answers! Good luck.
@@sophiamosecoaching1784 that’s really helpful, thank you!
I see that you’re also making a connection with the old child/parent/adult model of transactional analysis. Often these protective parts develop in early childhood. They can also develop in the teens and during adulthood. When developed during adulthood they would be adults. Then they are the age they were at inception. I think of teen survivors of incest, women survivors of DV, survivors of war, and soldiers after deployment.
Hey! I had a question, You mentioned about Psychological muscle memory, we humans tend to behave a certain way because of this and we become adaptive, well can we say that this is similar to ego stories and dysfunction vagus nerve?
Hi how did you become an IFS therapist? I am trying to find my path there and looking for ways to do it. Thank you.
I was nolonger going to become an adult when I turned 7. That's when I first became aware of harm in the world
11:37 is that image in the context presented the full authentic self rejecting the blaming part?
No, more just how one part can reject the other. If we are in our full, authentic self, the impulse is no longer to reject or blame, but rather to help to heal with compassion. So we are actually wanting to move AWAY from what is demonstrated in this image (although the image shows where we often are)...and away from the idea of ever needing to 'reject' or 'get rid' of any part of ourselves, even our inner critic. Hope that helps!
does IFS work for those with preverbal or infancy trauma?
I find it hard to visualise in my mind's eye my protectors. I need to in order to relate to them. Who do they usually look like?
I had my first IFS Therapy Session. I connected with my Dissociation part and I really like that part. After that session I really wanted to connect with the part of me that has the GI issues and the part of me that has the Headache issues but the more IFS videos I watch the more it sounds like other parts are preventing me from getting to those parts. Does that sound familiar?
Oh wow I have the same major physical issues GI and migraine. They happen to be worse now and I feel miserable physically which makes it so damn hard to function and the older I get , will be 60 in a month well, it just scares the crap out of me cause I isolated as a coping mechanism among other things.
@@Grungefan2018 Do certain things like stress cause them? Are they telling you something.. I recently moved to Denver and it sure seams like my GI is telling me how unstable this environment is..
So if as a child, i was driven, into running, perfectionist, organized, etc ...that was all parts to deal with trauma from age 5 to 18....when now as an adult i seem, unable to decide what i want to do with my life, not interested in running or really working out, not driven, actually a bit lazy and tired. So were is my adult? Im 49. I can take care of my kids, 16 and 22...i can do some adult tasks etc...however internally im so lost...I have DID and CPTSD...
Dr OLds any IFS therapists in Boston area???
Hi there so in this video what I am hearing is you literally just say to yourself brain observe here?? Please clarify if this is all is needed to unblend because this is what I am struggling with thank you.