1. Stonewalling to avoid conflict. This prevents resolution of conflicts and distance is kept. 2. Withdrawing when feeling emotionally overwhelmed, whether it's due to something in avoidant's life or feeling rushed in a relationship. 3. Blame, deflect, and flaw-find to avoid vulnerability 4. Numbing out, soothing thru external comforts (food, alcohol, TV, video games) 5. Leave relationships prematurely. Feelings, emotions, connection make avoidants feel vulnerable.
I just want to say that 1) you have a great communication style....lots of rapid facts, relaxed and succinct .......and 2) through your videos I appreciate my ex more...there was so much more effort going on than I appreciated.....she was trying more than I ever realised and I wish I knew your channel a year ago...thanks for all your illumination ❤
One that really gets me is them cutting off the conversation IMMEDIATELY if you mention something “negative”. It’s like they need complete control of the conversation and you can only talk about things that interest them and are in some way validating them. It’s exhausting.
I like this term "protest behaviors," as this is a good description. The one that stood out for me was when people try to rush the relationship too quickly. Yeah, that can be overwhelming cuz it's almost like someone trying to "hard sell" me. In fact, I remember this one of my exes wanted to get serious after three weeks (and three dates). I realize now it was a control mechanism, but at the time it still felt overwhelming because she was pushing so hard for a commitment. Of course, this was when I was in my mid 20s, so I just went for it. Great video!
I don't understand why they're called "protest behaviors" in avoidants. I thought that was a term for the manipulative tactics anxiously attached people used to "protest" perceived neglect and get a change in their partner's behavior. In avoidants, they don't seem to be seeking change from their partners; they just want to be left alone. So I don't see how the term fits.
Also known as: How to tip-toe around someone utterly self-centered who has the self-awareness of a gatepost, so you put off the day they discard you for a bit longer. Just get out already. Walk away. There are plenty of normal healthy people out there who will enjoy being in relationships with you
I am dealing with a man who does all 5 of these which can trigger my FA. I can’t find a way to bridge this stuff with him. He needs to do the healing So I just fall silent. We are not really in a relationship as we live mikes apart but I have known him over 30 years. He is so inconsistent but he says he tells me things he doesn’t tell anyone else. I do know some of his childhood when he feels safe to share and I fill in the pierces as I also grew up with a narcissistic mother so I know what he is talking about. I have had many years of therapy to become more secure and see my stuff. He even deflects right away after telling me some thing about his childhood and says some brig like it’s ok we all have stuff. And I’m like - please don’t take my compassion away for that hurt child within you. I now fall silent because when he reaches out it’s like a week to 3 weeks have gone by.
Began in childhood and reinforced in adulthood. Most humans are very self-centered. Even many who say they’re healthy are not as healthy as they think. Very few people are really helpful.
This is true. Most people in have the "what's in it for me (WIIFM) attitude especially when it comes to relationships. On another channel I commented how it's important to meet your own needs and three separate people said, "wHAt'S dA pOiNt oF bEiNg iN a rElAtIoNsHiP iF yOu cAn mEeT yOuR oWn nEeDs?" 🙄
Haha first of all...the name. 😂😂😂 But you're right! I've heard this too. It just goes to show that what Thais says is right. Two people showing up to play a game with 2 sets of rules. @@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g
Hello I need advice from anyone I would really appreciate it. I just got broken up with a day ago by a fearfully avoidant and I want to increase the chances of us going back together and keep our no contact so they can realize their feelings but her birthday is in 7 days and I have her presents already how should I give her her presents with a card? No card? Should I leave them at the porch? Hand it to her and leave? what would be best any input would be greatly appreciated.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
Can you address the differences between Narcissist and avoidant. It’s become apparent to me (via life experience) a Covert Narc will have Dismissive avoidant actions with more detrimental manipulations and emotionally shattering effects… basically all Narcs are avoidant but not all avoidant a are Narcs. I even tried to point my ex into the “he was an avoidant” as not to tell him hat he really was and to be nice… but finally not only did I have to get really honest and say: NPD will always win out over any other emotion… because and causes NO REAL EMOTIONS. DA actually have care… DA do not love bomb and then withdraw… they don’t ask you to move in, let’s build a future, stop working umm care for you, then turn the table and ghost you daily until someone is present
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.
1. Stonewalling to avoid conflict. This prevents resolution of conflicts and distance is kept.
2. Withdrawing when feeling emotionally overwhelmed, whether it's due to something in avoidant's life or feeling rushed in a relationship.
3. Blame, deflect, and flaw-find to avoid vulnerability
4. Numbing out, soothing thru external comforts (food, alcohol, TV, video games)
5. Leave relationships prematurely. Feelings, emotions, connection make avoidants feel vulnerable.
I just want to say that 1) you have a great communication style....lots of rapid facts, relaxed and succinct .......and 2) through your videos I appreciate my ex more...there was so much more effort going on than I appreciated.....she was trying more than I ever realised and I wish I knew your channel a year ago...thanks for all your illumination ❤
One that really gets me is them cutting off the conversation IMMEDIATELY if you mention something “negative”. It’s like they need complete control of the conversation and you can only talk about things that interest them and are in some way validating them. It’s exhausting.
Mirror
I like this term "protest behaviors," as this is a good description. The one that stood out for me was when people try to rush the relationship too quickly. Yeah, that can be overwhelming cuz it's almost like someone trying to "hard sell" me. In fact, I remember this one of my exes wanted to get serious after three weeks (and three dates). I realize now it was a control mechanism, but at the time it still felt overwhelming because she was pushing so hard for a commitment. Of course, this was when I was in my mid 20s, so I just went for it. Great video!
I don't understand why they're called "protest behaviors" in avoidants. I thought that was a term for the manipulative tactics anxiously attached people used to "protest" perceived neglect and get a change in their partner's behavior. In avoidants, they don't seem to be seeking change from their partners; they just want to be left alone. So I don't see how the term fits.
Also known as: How to tip-toe around someone utterly self-centered who has the self-awareness of a gatepost, so you put off the day they discard you for a bit longer.
Just get out already. Walk away. There are plenty of normal healthy people out there who will enjoy being in relationships with you
I am dealing with a man who does all 5 of these which can trigger my FA. I can’t find a way to bridge this stuff with him. He needs to do the healing
So I just fall silent.
We are not really in a relationship as we live mikes apart but I have known him over 30 years. He is so inconsistent but he says he tells me things he doesn’t tell anyone else. I do know some of his childhood when he feels safe to share and I fill in the pierces as I also grew up with a narcissistic mother so I know what he is talking about.
I have had many years of therapy to become more secure and see my stuff.
He even deflects right away after telling me some thing about his childhood and says some brig like it’s ok we all have stuff. And I’m like - please don’t take my compassion away for that hurt child within you.
I now fall silent because when he reaches out it’s like a week to 3 weeks have gone by.
Very good episode !
Stay away from them period!
That’s the best advice. It’s not worth all the emotional wreck they cause.
Began in childhood and reinforced in adulthood. Most humans are very self-centered. Even many who say they’re healthy are not as healthy as they think. Very few people are really helpful.
This is true. Most people in have the "what's in it for me (WIIFM) attitude especially when it comes to relationships. On another channel I commented how it's important to meet your own needs and three separate people said, "wHAt'S dA pOiNt oF bEiNg iN a rElAtIoNsHiP iF yOu cAn mEeT yOuR oWn nEeDs?" 🙄
Haha first of all...the name. 😂😂😂
But you're right! I've heard this too. It just goes to show that what Thais says is right. Two people showing up to play a game with 2 sets of rules. @@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g
Where are the avoidant apologists at?
still scrolling past the magnetic aura spam.
@@WrittenMysteries haha
Hello I need advice from anyone I would really appreciate it. I just got broken up with a day ago by a fearfully avoidant and I want to increase the chances of us going back together and keep our no contact so they can realize their feelings but her birthday is in 7 days and I have her presents already how should I give her her presents with a card? No card? Should I leave them at the porch? Hand it to her and leave? what would be best any input would be greatly appreciated.
I think you should keep it until you both agree to see each other no contact means no contact.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
Can you address the differences between Narcissist and avoidant.
It’s become apparent to me (via life experience) a Covert Narc will have Dismissive avoidant actions with more detrimental manipulations and emotionally shattering effects… basically all Narcs are avoidant but not all avoidant a are Narcs. I even tried to point my ex into the “he was an avoidant” as not to tell him hat he really was and to be nice… but finally not only did I have to get really honest and say: NPD will always win out over any other emotion… because and causes NO REAL EMOTIONS. DA actually have care… DA do not love bomb and then withdraw… they don’t ask you to move in, let’s build a future, stop working umm care for you, then turn the table and ghost you daily until someone is present
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
Same for FA who lean DA? In that case, which advice do we follow, for FA or DA???
🚨PDS I wish u would respond. This is an EXCELLENT question!
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.