If you need someone to talk to reach out. I drove people crazy and nobody wanted to hear what I had to say but the best thing is to talk to someone or a therapist.
You are not alone. This coming May will make 23 years for me. I’m working to get out now.🙏🏾 It’s indescribable and only by God’s grace I made. Pat yourself on the back. You’re a survivor!🙏🏾💜💪🏾
At this point, I’m beginning to believe that narcissists are not human. Either their body has been completely taken over by a demon or they’re pretending to be human. Sad part is that no one can understand this unless you’ve walked in our shoes. It’s maddening! I lost my mind for an entire year before I realized that I was in the process of being discarded so I was going through the silent treatment, being looked at with the disgust/disdain, being talked about to their shallow-fake friends, the dismissiveness, being nitpicked on, torn apart. It was horrible!!! Lord deliver us from these demons.
Thank you for your testimony in trying to live a normal life with a narcissist. I've been there for 34 years, and I find myself wondering, but now knowing a narcissist is not at all 'all' human. My husband is so demon possessed. These demons won't let him be human. The world was formed just for him. When a needed confrontation begins, I can feel how he wants to tear me apart bone by bone. I feel that demonic energy coming against me, ready to war and beat me as if I were as big as a bear. I'm a woman. He sees me as another one as himself. This is my season to be free from his demons. He is less than a venomous snake 🐍. He is a horror that you cannot, absolutely cannot reason with. I've been in the chiropractor's offices more than I can count. I won't go into how he hurts me and my cat. I have to remove my cat away from him. He tries to make my cat do what he says do. I always watch him with her very closely. When I see a difference in her behavior or her looks, I
I can remember the last time that I slept with my now ex-wife… And like in only true fashion, the only way I know, I had one of those bearing witness to my own words that came trucking through on its own accord, driving a big rig of truth… and I blurted out how I was honestly feeling in that moment, and said, “why do I have the distinct feeling that you just cheated on somebody with your husband?“ Then an honest moment emerged from her with a timely laugh/chuckle, followed by an even more timely verbal response-follow up, “oh, that’s funny.” “Yeah, you’re not doing much by way of quelling that feeling I’m getting w/those responses” I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve always been into women who have been into me. So prostituting myself, for a sense of security, was never going to work for me. Because if the alphabet agencies thought that Albert Hoffman had discovered the truth serum… I say, God had from the beginning, because the equipment doesn’t lie… and I knew in that moment that she did not possess the reconciliation capabilities that would render the equipment back into working order, just to save face. That was an early 2019… and happy to say that it has been guarded under, “super soldiers” watch ever since. And it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than oceans 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 and any other ones, before it will ever be in the hands of anyone!! And with the state of the art, biometric, rolling combination, security feature… It’s going to take, “the one”, in order to unlock its security… And with every day that it remains that way, the stronger, the security features are, and the more obvious its potential grifters appear. Let’s just say I’ve grown fond and have much appreciation for the 16th and 17th century “belt-ware!”
Being in a narcissistic abusive relationship has been the MOST confusing, mind-boggling, hurtful, and dramatic relationship I have ever been a part of. AND I am still in pain. I hope I will never have this happen again.
Narcisists come to steal, kill and destroy and at first they pretend to be your friend and angel of light but the truth eventually starts coming out when your whole life starts falling apart. Thank you 🙏 Andrew ❤
So very true. It's just too much. Mental and emotional abuse is so real and raw. Never in a million years did I think I'd be married to one of these monsters. But praise God, I'm finally free!! Unfortunately, we have a child together so he still harass me and violating the court order habitually. But I limit contact as much as possible
They are empty, hallow and dull. They are boring, cant carry on a conversation with any fresh ideas. They just mirror what you just said in a conversation. Yes, they walk way ahead of you! They are rude.
The only time their energy appears to be high is when they know they have an audience who are being manipulated as well. Behind closed doors it's another story.
@@lalani888ARTblue, funny how some of my friends disliked my husband. I'm staying in a tiny RV on my BIL's property. My Sil's were under no illusions about him. They loved him, but his big brother and his two nephews saw him at his worst.
I think it must be a little easier now than 20 years ago. I was full of fear my family would find out as he had them eating out of his hands and a golden boy in my narcissistic Mother's eyes and of course He Knew This! Thanks to Andrew the realisation is Amazing!
I just ended my relationship today. He’s threatened my life so many times . Life has been a roller coaster since I met him. I’ve lost financially, physically, mentally, and spiritually since the day we met. It’s been 5 years and we have a two year old daughter. Please pray for my strength and protection to move on. His parents support his behavior and I’m afraid to let him see my daughter. Please pray this demon away from us
I say my heart is there for you, I have been divorced for 10 years and 1 child… they will never leave you alone and try best to take what means most … your baby. Get a good attorney and write it all down and make new friends and gray rock as much as possible. Good luck.
This was so powerful!!… this is exactly the toxicity I currently experience in my relationship. The layers have been pulled back. I have actually realized several years back that this person is going to remain the narcissist that he is. I am slowly but surely preparing a way out and prayerfully without violence. Ladies, if you see the red signs, don’t ignore them, leave, and vice versa for the men.
In the end I must say: I took letting go to realize, that I was holding on to NOTHING! Thank you very much Andrew, the big tree trunk behind you looks great! 🌲🍃❤🍃😊
My narcissistic ex even admitted to me that he knew what he had done to me, when I was pleading with him to come and talk things through, after he suddenly discarded me. He strung me along for months afterwards, claiming he was going to try harder, but this never happened. Eventually after I was emotionally broken , he started that he would only do this to me again if he came back. I was distraught as I really loved him, but I now am 100% certain that these people know from the day they meet you , exactly what they are doing to you
My stbex said the same, and did the same. We are working towards our divorce. I was in a lot of emotional pain, but this week something shifted in me when I found out he was flirting online with a 19 yr old girl. Four years older then his own daughter. A childish looking girl. I was repulsed. And he is future talking with 3-4 other women, possibly has been physically with them. I'm done. I don't even need the NC. I literally flipped a switch mentally. Finally , after a year of broken promises and so much pain. Freedom at last.
@@Ice_Ba well done to you. We are just puppets to them, to lie to , promise a life together, and cruelly throw away . I agree, sick and disgusting behaviour
what irks me is when you get one of these bleeding heart idiots saying "oh feel sorry for them, pray for them, they dont know what they are doing" pfffffffffff. they know exactly what they are doing.
disagree. what shes describing is purely narcissistic in its nature. people who are depressed dont do out of their way to knowingly harm others. @@stupid0account0name
When I finally ended contact with him after 6 years....... I thought I would feel crushed and shattered...... and I did.... for about 2 weeks. After that I felt an insane lightness, freedom, excitement, joy..... I had NO IDEA how oppressive and heavy this person and relationship was. I immediately gained power and confidence back.
@@kaycee5129 believe me I understand. The best advice I ever got was, "you WILL reach a point where you are just DONE. just wait for that moment. It will come. You will know." I reached that point. I had so much clarity. I told him "this is not how you treat someone you say you love." Then went no contact
I felt like pressure was taken of my chest. My anxiety levels were lower. And I didn't have to be there answering my phone to avoid my x-narc accusing me of cheating. Which is something she was doing. Stay strong, you got this. 💪
A narcissist will absolutely never take blame in a fight or anything. They will use anything they can to dominate the person theyre with. They will only give you enough time and attention just to keep you hooked.
Exactly what happened to me😢 I relocated to New England from beautiful sunny Florida..after being foolishly tricked into believing that “He wanted me to be part of his large wonderful loving family” when I arrived I had to catch an Uber to get to the address he gave me..not a soul there to greet me..I was there alone with him as I observed a man I thought I knew become a rude, condescending, arrogant, mean gaslighting abusive creep. After 3 months of him “isolating” me from meeting new friends and exploring the area..I escaped, drove almost 2,000 miles alone with a broken ankle to get back to Florida. He still blames me for not “making my life in New England” because I was too selfish. Such a whirlwind of roller coaster emotions. God Bless any and all that have endured the wrath of these cruel people.
23 yrs with narrasist I was 18 when we met and discarded at 40. I m happy to say I m 5 years free!! unfortunately I have PTSD to add to my list of disabilities I acquired over our time together...I m still happy being 5yrs free and staying single😊
the PTSD gets better as you focus on your healing. i urge you to remember its not a life sentence unless you want it to be. you can fully recover and really heal yourself. its 1 of the view gifts that come out of a relationship w these types. you can heal your mind and heart take the time to do so your worth it
PTSD. That's what I've finally realised has hobbled my post-narcissist attempts at relationships. Being triggered by seemingly innocuous things. Staying single is a helluva solution, but I don't want to damage any more innocent parties.
I’m a psychiatrist and love this video. Thank you for the brutal honesty and descriptions of calling it out as it happens in real life. All those clues…. Thanks for talking about all the tiny details that gives us an idea but no one else talks about
It was our first Christmas together, I had just had our first son, I had moved in a few months prior. My son was about three weeks old and I was taking too long to get ready. Mind you I was still recovering from giving birth, a newly breastfeeding mother, trying to get myself and baby ready to leave. I think he was mad that the attention was no longer on him, or that I was taking too long. He freaked out, took off in his car, speed out the driveway. That was the very first time the mask fell. He came back and pretended like nothing happened, I had to put a smile on my face and go to his family’s Christmas. I was devastated. It was not until eight years later that I googled silent treatment and no empathy that I finally realized what type of monster I was dealing with. I have a mother who taught me to see the best in people, sometimes there is no best, seeking the best in these type of people will only hurt you, waste years of your life.
I grew up a strict catholic and was always told to turn the other cheek. It took along time for me to finally stand up for myself. Sometimes there isn't any good in people...the devil does roam this Earth.
Excellent video. Perfect description of narcissists. Spent 10 years married to an emotionally abusive narcissist. Almost destroyed me, but I came out exponentially stronger. Days or weeks of silent treatment for reasons I could only guess. The little faces, the smirks, the behavior, all spot on. Never got direct confrontation, it was extremely passive aggressive. Playing victim, baseless accusations, etc. She took a selfless, compassionate man and made him hate himself. Being able to recognize the characteristics and behaviors of narcissists is so crucial for everyone, to avoid getting caught in the trap. I wish I had this knowledge and wisdom 20 years ago, and the EQ to set proper, firm boundaries. Have a fantastic New Year's my dude.
I wish us all better in the coming year. I also wish we all didn't know what you're describing, because it means experiencing it first-hand. That kind of knowledge would be unethical to ask anyone to get. 😕
@@cc1k435 Absolutely! However, leaps in personal growth most often follow horrific experiences, since those experiences destroy the illusions we have about ourselves. I, for one, am thankful for the experience, in the same way a scrap piece of steel is thankful to a blacksmith for remaking it into a brand new piece of art. :) Have a fantastic new year!!
They are the greatest pretenders, liars and deceiver’s. Just walking, talking fraudsters! No one can have a relationship with someone whom can’t relate.
I appreciate you so much. I got discarded on December 6th. I’ve gone no contact for 14 days. You are describing my relationship to a tee. I am in pain! You are giving me hope everyday! Thank you Thank you Thank you!
Stay strong it's rough it's been 1 year for me. I was discarded three days before Christmas 🎄 I was a wreck, but I made it through with the help from Andrew. Remember to take care of yourself ❤️
I disagree. They make all efforts to get everything for themselves and do feel superior (better looking, more intelligent, more creative, more charming, more gifted and talented, more popular....) to you. They cannot love inferior beings.
Dang. Great information. I lived this trauma once. My ex narcissist loved to quickly exit the car when we arrived at whatever destination and walk way ahead of me. As I still sit in the car unbuckling my seat belt. Weird sh*t. Narcissist are pure evil.
Yea and they only do this because they are the real insecure ones so they have to sort of “one up” or stay ahead of you and remain the center of attention or in control …I used to get mad because I’m like wow do these people ever get tired of being sick??? And always having to fake it? Don’t they ever get tired of being treaturous? Like damn
My 17 year marriage to a narc took about 2 years. When I had a enough she actually told me I didn’t have the balls to divorce her 😂. I divorced that ass.! She gave me hell.
As soon as I called out their exact inappropriate behavior, I was told I was a liar. They didn’t do any of those things to me… Just glad I did a reverse discard… These people a complete waste of time and money.
I have survived a relationship with a man who has complex NPD and is an alcoholic. I'm a nurse, an empath. I have never met a more cruel, calculating and destructive perpetrator of emotional abuse in my life-i'm 59yrs. I'm on the path of recovery and discovery, it takes time but you will get there. Thank you Andrew you are empowering and enlightening. Please remember survivors.... you are beautiful, kind and caring and out there are individuals who share your values and beliefs so never give up.
The smirk ,the testing,the turning things around to make you look crazy ,the cold heartedness,wasted time and energy ! Oooh how they secretly (or not ) revel in messing with other people's lives.
I remember you said they will eventually over play their hand. It’s like empathy, our codependent-type of relationship style, has some hypnotic effect as though they can extract more openly from us as the depth of how we feel for them goes. The more you love them and place them on a pedestal the more they feel entitled to take from you, theft is remember non existent for them your stuff is theirs. I hope you feel at the least grateful that you are alive. Some people don’t ever get out alive. I laugh now thinking back on what I escaped, though I am not bitter anymore. Being punished by someone you love hurts the most but is a great teacher!
All true and a great ( you used it as a lesson) attitude. Just to get to that point to extract something positive, so much emotional swamp one may have to slog through. I almost don't want to go there ( those who ended their lives). But, I'm an empath and feel so bad that some never knew what hit them with such a debilitating force.
@@jhavajoe3792 it was the most confusing relationship I’ve ever had. I’m lucky to have family, a place to process my life and thoughts, while rebuilding a new one. I love when Andrew says, “read and book, write a book, take a class teach a class”. Would be nice to do one of each! 😂
So true ..I hung on for my two children Then eventually had to walk away ...parental alienation was the final blow ...These people are evil and will never ever change
I think that s the suckiest part just knowing that they will never change… no matter how much hope you have for them they will say sorry (fake sorry) and go right back to thier ways..
True. That is why narcissists cannot stand to be in the company of other narcissists. While he is trying to break the other narcissit. The other narcissit is trying to break him.
They will debilitate and cripple you, i was left socially anxious and extremely depressed; and just now stepping out of my isolation season after 4 years. Slowly but surely..🦋
It’s crazy. We walk among thousands of people every day, yet this one person takes all energy. Somehow, break away from it and direct attention elsewhere. It’s hard, but necessary. The relationship never gets better; in fact, it destroys you--and you have to rebuild yourself. May 2024 be healing.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone it’s an all-consuming experience-trying to figure out what you are doing wrong and trying to correct it, only to have it fail, again and again. At the end, I came to realize that my relationship with my Creator, myself, pets, etc. were part of the healing process. For me, journaling was perhaps the best way of expressing it. (Interestingly, those things were the very things that this person tried to take out of my life.)
That’s one thing I hated I live with a narcissist room mate whom I thought was my friend but they were just as backstabbing and two faced as all get out….and they thought because we were friends they didn’t have to have boundaries they would come into the bathroom while I’m using it even thought I said I didn’t like that and I had to get upset with them for them to get the message then when I’m sitting at the table watching videos after a long day of work trying to eat they would come and shove videos in my face and show me things I’ve already seen a million times … then they would bust in my room at midnight hours and wake me up about problems they were having with thier relationship or turn on loud music and vacuum by my door they would even go into my mini fridge to get water while I’m sleeping or not at home or ask to use my car which I had to cut off because of this heavy drinking.. basically an alcoholic.. and then she would go off on me calling me lonely bitches and telling me to get out of her house over little to nothing… then when I moved she had enough nerve to tell me to come back because I don’t need to be out here alone….. and I’m thinking in my head NO you just don’t want to be alone…smh
The very night I moved in with my ex narc, he began stonewalling in earnest, the next year was a torture chamber of fear, confusion, and exhaustion, that led to me sleeping at night in my car in a church parking lot. My son and best friend were the only ones he couldn’t alienate, and one day they both said something that resonated with me and caused me to research what ended up being narcissism, and NPD. It was life changing, and from that day on, the direction and theme of my life changed! 7 years later he is still stalking me and trying hard to hoover me back…I remain non responsive and no contact. I am now on alert for narcissistic people…they are not welcome in my life. I have tossed out a long time friend and a sister who are both toxic narcs. Life is so much more peaceful now!
Thanks for this video. Took me 45 years of marriage to finally figure out that my wife is a covert narcissist. This has been a long 5 years of healing for me. One day at a time.
Wow... i thought my 30 years was a long time. I also think, what was wrong with me, but am understand that my own childhood abandonment and rejections (whether intentional or unintentional) played a great part in my codependencies on needing people to accept me. So he kept taking, and i kept giving with the hope of being loved. It is a sad scenario.
Oh for sure. It’s terrible. My husband does that. In the middle of it now bc he lost his temper in front of someone and his mask slipped. Now I’m the punching bag. I hate the tension but now I’m learning to use that to do things I want and use it as a break.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone what they did to you. I'm not ready to forgive mine either, BUT I can't continue to be so angry. Just know that they WILL face KARMA & live a very poor existence. In the end of their life, they will have NOTHING of substance. ❤hang tough!
@@robynhanda1008 Hole where the heart is. They get karma in their sleep. They HATE themselves. They will never Repent for what they have done. When the mask slipped. I didn't even know who that woman was. It's CRAZY.....i can't unsee what I saw ...
Discarded after 24 1/2 years marriage and 4 kids. Almost 9 years free and no contact. Didn’t realize he was a narcissist until my dad pointed it out. I’ve done a lot of research and can completely see it now. Thankful to be free.
We need to talk more about when we have young children with the narcissist. It’s impossible to go no contact. They will overtly use the children to manipulate you financially and emotionally. It’s such a difficult situation to navigate.
Don’t worry! Children have a lot of sense! They were the silent observers so they know more than you even know! Just continually show them love and they will eventually make the right choice!
Hi Andrew, I grew up in a family of them and yes ended up marrying one. Nothing worse than having a whole nest of them come after you. I stayed in a homeless shelter for two years and even that was not enough for them. They stopped by once to visit on the way to the casino after saying "it doesn't look so bad" laughed and waved while "speeding" away in their recreational vehicle. Seven years later with lots of work and lots of tears, I can say that everything has been given back to me and I can build again in "peace" and on my own time schedule. Just cruising along and enjoying the scenery. No contact was the only way out for me.
me too > a whole family of this evil spirits ( narcissist ) I remember hearing the Lord voice < saying > ( narcissist ) didn't have a clue what He was telling me... til He slowly start pulling masks off > one by one ... they all hated me ... for no cause ... Lord knows...I help em all ...on their feet...this was a very very painful experience... only seeing others that had to endure these people ( help heal, I not alone ) this was of a bloodline curses... Yah help me to < cut the cord > Blood Free...😊
I also grew up with them. Married a DA (dismissive avoidant). Not as bad as a narc as DAs aren’t as malignant as narcs are. But they present in a similar way. My narc family love him of course and always put him on a pedestal well above me who they look down on.
Andrew, I am very thankful for finding your channel. The worst part was being at his bedside during his first ever hospitalization and now knowing he was already talking to my replacement. He just turned 53 and grasping for better replacements. I know I was the best because he is trying to return now. Again, thank you from this empath.❤
Mine would constantly criticize me if I did ANYTHING!! Our relationship was "broken" when our second daughter came along, and emotionally ,he replaced me. I was so numb, and disengaged by never, ever being " enough" or good enough for him, that I didn't even notice. My youngest daughter woke me up out of my decades-long fog, by telling me he was a narc, and that he treated me like crap, and that I needed to leave him!! Thank God she did!! I'm separated now, and it's SO, SO, SO MUCH BETTER!!😊 Freedom and peace are wonderful, and my confidence is slowly returning as I care for my schizophrenic daughter. He got released to be footloose and fancy free!! The divorce is going to be dicey, but worth it!!
I was so angry that he discarded even his children. This meant I needed to start playing mum and dad to.my children. I was jobless when he left. God was faithful because I found a job, relocated abroad very far away, can take care of my children and again after 27 years of hell, we are living our best life. Keep the faith survivors!
Be glad it discarded the children. Mine won't let go of our daughter. She has been sexually abused and now she is 11 years old. She is starting to show signs of narcissistic behavior. I'm a believer in Jesus and praying for deliverance for her and myself. I'm so, so tired. Some days I can't get out of bed :( cmon Jesus
The ex narc’s children were raised by their Mom and step father. 🙏🙏 They are well adjusted, productive adults even though he takes credits for it. There are millions of single parents out there. Self included. Peace is priceless!
The Narcissist has to keep things churned up because they feed off of chaos and drama. They enjoy keeping people unsettled and on edge, close to causing doubt.
Never doubt the narcissist knows exactly what they are doing because if they didnt why would all of these arguments and chaos exists planned out by the narc especially for you
in the last two years of researching Narcissism through Forums, Sites, Books and Videos. This video RIGHT HERE! Is the Best piece I've ever Found. it's so Exact down to the very most minute details. From beginning to End.
I sit alone again tonight. Still they all reach out trying to figure out what I am up to. Even approaching me @ the gym this morning.. ie; flying monkeys- asking where I have been. I need peace. The smirk 😏 literally a blank dark and demonic stare. In the beginning I thought it was my imagination. It was a lightbulb moment Andrew when you actually revealed this to be true occurrence. I just had to pause and laugh out loud…. The emoji attack lol. Hearts, unicorns, kisses, puppies, rainbows. Etc, etc Then 0 emojis- I smh 🤦🏻 now. Yes! Why are you waving to that individual. I was accused of being the biggest flirt they knew. They also walk ahead of you not to appear attached. Stand behind you at an event to scope out the room. What a fantastic video! Thank you always. 🙏🏻❤️☺️ Happy New Year 🎈 Peace in 2024-
I was with mine for 33 years, and I just didn't know that some of these things was narcissistic abuse! The walking in front of me was a surprising attribute! This video was so helpful!
Today is the two week milestone of going no contact since breaking up with my ex narcissist. I can see on social media that they’re playing a mind game with me today and it’s painful to see. Even though I broke up with her, it was because I lost hope and I’ve been in significant pain ever since. Seeing this mind game is a hit to my heart, but it’s also showing me how spiteful they are, despite trying to keep on this mask of being a caring, empathic and grateful person. Your videos are helping me through this though and as I’ve mentioned before, I’m super grateful for you and the community 🙏✨ I can’t wait to come out of this strong, reaching the pinnacle of indifference 💪✨🙏
Up days and Down days, Mr. Mendez. Ever so slowly ( not quick enough ) those Up days become more and more frequent. Everyone's eventual expression, even before hitting that pinnacle: "Whew! Glad I'm out of there!!"
@@jhavajoe3792Thank you for your comforting and wise words, Joe 🙏 It’s weird how the feelings ebb and flow… I can’t wait to have that “Whew!” moment and I’ll be grateful for when it happens 🙏😮💨 I hope you are feeling strong and your spirits are high 👆✨ We’re all one strong community here, supporting each other and it is awesome ☺️🙏
I can feel your pain and am so sorry. Unfortunately this behavior is predictable & par for the course in regards to their behavior. Remember... they always have to be one up & will find ways to make you pay. Glad you can see the truth. It's best to grieve with support & Andrew's channel & tune out whatever performances she is conjuring up to further inflict pain on you. We have walked in your path. Please ignore her & focus on healing you. They sadly do not change! Take good care now 👍 🌈 🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 Thank you so much for your comment and your kind words 🙏✨ This community is wonderful and strong 💪 and I hope I can help people just as you have helped me and I’m sure many others too 🤗🙏 Take care good care now, too 🙏🌈✨☺️
Andrew - I'm blown away by your presentation and believe me, I've studied narcissism - NPD - sociopathy - psychopathy ETC. for over a decade (beginning with Martha Stout, PhD) in hopes that I'd be able to someday wrap my mind around these truly disturbed and disturbing people and what makes them tick. You nailed it really well with this one. On behalf of all survivors, I'd like to say a huge THANK YOU for being there to impart your wisdom on these sometimes hurtful topics. As always, Timshel❣️ Thou Mayest {and thou mayest not} It's a choice. May you be blessed.🌻
It took me 80 days to break the soul tie with one after 2 years. Just keep waiting it will happen. This man’s channel will help you so much!!!!! Bless him🎉
Awww… I LOVED the way you ended the video, because I can see how HAPPY you are and how GENUINELY you are creating these videos because your heart is really IN it and you want to help as MANY people as you can! 🙏☺️❤ Just makes me melt! Thought you would like to know, from another perspective, how NOTICEABLE your healing and happiness is… it’s contagious! 😉😉❤❤❤
I just LOVE it! It’s such a PERFECT example for EVERYONE here what the 3rd version of yourself POST narc relationship looks like… when you’ve FULLY healed! It’s EXACTLY where the knowledge on this channel leads!! ❤☝️❤☝️🥰
SO on point about the 'walking' thing Andrew. Oh my goodness I do remember that. Yes and as well as the silent treatment in the car. Meanwhile...if one of his groupy's called he was all ears and chatting away like a performer.
Exact same experience with me. And he just flew this past week, day after we spent Christmas as a family, to go meet with his new supply in a sunny place and didn’t even told our children about the trip, plus had the nerve to text our oldest it was because I didn’t give him the opportunity to tell! 😳 Had to blame me about that for her! I had to stay home with them in our dark cold country and taking care of our youngest who was ill and me in a trauma state. The new supply is a foreign woman he cheated me with online 9 years ago during the first discard. He always had her in the back burner although he made me believe he cut fully contact with her before our second child. But talk about avoidance style. The woman has 2young children herself and lives 5 hour plane ride south! [like I did!] It triggered me and broke me like hell as he informed me 4 days before Christmas and that he was going to be with her, because we are still co habiting with our children, I asked him not to do it, it’s horrible thing g to do before we really separate. but I could finally see him for what he is. No more doubts and I just wish I could go no contact but he returns today! This is what I get after 20 years!
This insight is the story of my life, so true and painful to understand. I was wife #3 until everything was gone, money, self-esteem, professional standing, spiritual health. He abandoned his children and first 2 wives. I’ve been alone and a survivor for 37 years unable to trust any man ever again. I’ve recovered financially, professionally. My life is behind me. Even now it’s so difficult to look ahead, to feel joy, have hope. Sometimes I think it would be better to just close my eyes. Still, friends remark about how “charming” he was. When he abandoned me the minister who married us asked what I did to drive him away??? It would have been less painful to stab me in my heart. The only joy I have is from my little dogs, feeding deer, birds, squirrels and bunnies in my back yard and drinking in the beauty and freedom of the evergreens, fresh, cool air and hearing nothing but silence at night. God’s qualities are love, wisdom, power and justice. In the end all will be leveled and balanced and made right. Hope I see it. I hope I can feel and believe it.
Thank you so much! You were the first one to help me educate myself : 2 years later, I am in such a peaceful place!!! Thank you Father God !!! I calmed down, I have hope, I’m happy , have my own place, a great job!, AND YOU WILL TOO!!! God sees all evil! Call out to him ❤
That's their game Andrew. We build them up they tare us down until we're a shell of ourselves and then expect to have you build back up and they can come back and do it again! No no not any longer! We got the ace in the hole now these videos. People are becoming aware and awakened it's a battle between good and evil and best believe good always comes out on top! You can cut a tree 🌴 down but it's deep rooted so there is hope that that tree will rise again! That tree is us! 🙌🏾❤️
Love that analogy about “The Giving Tree” - I’ve felt that way in so many relationships in the past. Now that I’m educated about narcissistic traits & strategies, life is 100% better. It’s so easy to say No and/or see their BS for what it is (attempted manipulation) and I’m attracting so many more high quality people into my life. Thank you and Bless you, Andrew, for your dedication to providing this content with so many examples and scenarios. 🙏✨
My narcissist was far in to the devaluation phase after 33 years, had a new supply for 7 years behind my back (he got great pleasure and power being sneaky). He was in the discard phase when I told him to get out of the house or be escorted out. We are now in the beginning phase of divorce and he is all about the money. He and his new supply can't wait to get half of everything including my gold and silver coins and my crypto investment. I am no contact. I just hope the judge sees thru the lies (I'm crazy) and rules in my favor.
I can really resonate with this video. This is exactly how it is & what it is like to be in these relationships. I don't know how you do it. Your videos do not leave anything out. And you explain with such clarity. Very interesting tree behind you 🙂💓. Have a good evening 🙂. God's blessings, grace, abundance & peace to you 🙂☀️☀️☀️🪶🪶
my ex girlfriend began by totally idealizing me saying she wanted to have children and how much she loved me. Pretty quickly she began criticizing everything I did including my hobbies and things I was passionate about. I am open to criticism but hers was an outlet for her rage. The weird thing is whenever I would address her anger she would totally deny it and in fact raise her voice cuss and stonewall. whenever i was happy she would try to bring me down. It was absolutely draining and I am in the recovery phase. I don't know exactly if she was a narcissist or bpd but these descriptions seem spot on. So glad to have her gone
Wow! This was explained so well! You hit the nail on the head in so many areas. The person I had a relationship with was not only narcissistic but bi-polar too. Almost ground me to a pulp! But Jesus said enough ! And He is healing me! It took over a year to get my barring, but I’m finding myself and my way back!
My family of origin was an in-tact family, the ex-narcissist came from a terribly broken family. I see that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy for our relationship to fall apart. I found myself reassuring the narcissist that I would not leave, which was not something I would not naturally be inclined to say. I notice all of this now in hindsight, after having discarded the narcissist. Freedom was hard-earned and painful, but it is mine. Be well.
Having gone to great lengths to educate myself about the narcissist, I can confidently say I know them and I know how they operate. Even so, I still fail to grasp it, I still can't wrap my head around these seemingly human beings that act like monsters/evil spirits/aliens/dead souls - whichever way you want to describe them.
Narcs are created at a specific time, and the pathology can be complex. You go through 2 births, physical, and then around 18 months, your identity emerges. Before then, an infant doesn't know they are a separate person from their mother or the universe. That is why you can't remember anything as an infant. Your first memories and learning how to speak is when the process happens. If trauma occurs during this separation phase, you get a narc. Trauma being physical, to illness, to an alcoholic mother. It is arrested development. They literally don't have an ego, a strange concept to wrap your head around. But it never developed along with empathy. They are partially developed people A shell. So they have to create an avatar of the missing psyche using other peoples' personalities trying to complete that process, a replacement of the missing mother. All the while, simulating people trying to act normal. When the avatar of illusion fails and they can't complete the birth, they destroy the false avatar of mother and start the process over. That is the Narc cycle. They can't see you as a person because they ldon't have the capability too, since they can't see themselves as a person. They are 2yo with adult capabilities, that is what makes them so dangerous. But they can't even conjure an image of you if you are not in front of them, which is why they can't create empathy. The tv show Dexter is a great analogy of narc development. Trauma as the mother is killed as an infant. They don't develop an identity so they create a false one for other people. They find supply and kill it for relief in order to complete the arrested development from that trauma but will fail. You can't create an ego. Then they move on to the next supply and attempt it over and over. That is why there is no treatment or cure. All the while mimicking a whole person. If a 3yo can't do it, they can't. That is why they have bad memories, are manipulative, don't have empathy or boundaries, and move from one supply to the next without a care, because that is how a 3 yo operates. They expect unconditional love because that is what a 3yo is supposed to receive from their mother, and they force you into that role. Since the mother has abandoned, aka trauma, they will try to recreate that unconditional love or artificial mother by any means necessary. Find Professor Veknin, he wrote the book on narcs.
@@Nylon_riot, excellent explanation, thank you. But that is so sad! According to spiritual and religious beliefs, everyone gets opportunities to save themselves, to get better. Why are these narc people doomed if what they became was not due to their own doing? Is it purely a matter of choices?
Ain't it all just the sad, sad truth... they try to extinguish the light of your very soul, but during the relationship/marriage, neither of you realize that you are too strong to allow the narcissists to destroy you completely. Oh yeah... the old walk 10 paces behind him... I would ask him to slow down and let me catch up and walk beside me...he would laugh and continually repeat this behavior. I always hated that, and I also hated the endless to-do list he would have waiting for me after working 10 hours overnight, throwing freight and stocking shelves then working till noon at the office of a construction company. He'd hand me the list as soon as I walked through the door. Holiday hoovers I have learned to gray rock them.
Spot on. A definitive class in dealing with a narcissist. This training will teach you every strategy for surviving and defeating the enemy in the war you were dragged into. And the rule of seasoned campaigners is- Never stop fighting. Never surrender. Know your objective… This is, to extricate yourself from the combat zone. With as few injuries as possible. A fighting withdrawal. Make an exit strategy and fight your way out. God bless Andrew. Semper Fi.
The narc and borderline is my mother. She’s truly in a spiral that just spins around and around. I am not playing any more and I am grey rock and very low contact. Staying distant allows you to see the circus. Don’t respond to the hoover and don’t respond to the discard… it’s all the same thing. Keep your distance. I am now working on being myself,feeling my feelings and allowing myself to disappoint others, healing my codependent tendencies and being ok in the grey area that is healthy human life. One thing that I do know, if you were raised by borderline or narcissistic parents you will need support together away from the enmeshment. Blessing to you all, it’s very brave to look up and radically accept a difficult situation. You can get clarity and you can heal. Blessings to you Andrew for your remarkable work and your daily insights. ❤❤❤
Yes, they have no commitment to anyone.. when I met this man, he'd been divorced for about 18 months, when I met his son, he said to me, don't let dad walk all over you, he has been doing it to me for years! So I should have stepped out then..🕳️
I,m grieving the friendship that had lasted 17 years , still unbelievable that the narccistist friend never really cared about me , it,s hard to wrap my head around that fact . I broke up that friendship not planned , I snapped after again nasty behaviour gaslight and shiftblaming
Listening to this with silent tears streaming down my face. My mind is blown. I have never heard a narcissist SME explain my relationship so perfectly. I was discarded three days before Xmas 2023 and I am broken.
Hi lovely, I am so terribly sorry that you are hurting. I was discarded by my ex narc a week and some change after delivering our daughter. When I tell you I was devastated, man, I was DEVASTATED, broken. I was abandoned in my most vulnerable state. This was a year and a half ago and now I can't remember why I ever loved him. I go to sleep at night with so much peace and he goes to sleep with his demons. It will get better. The road seems long but only bc you are just beginning your journey. You will laugh again, you will smile again, you will love again. I promise you it gets better but we have to show up for ourselves every day. What worked for me was realizing and accepting that he never loved or cared about me (denial will keep you in a loop), do small acts of love for yourself, stop worrying about what they're doing, if they regret it, if they still love you ( these questions only have us hold on to false hope when we really need to move on), lastly, what worked for me is dedicating my time to my relationship with God. I owe all this wisdom and peace to Him. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and you deserve all the wonderful things God and the world has to offer. Keep your head up, I hope this helps 🤍
It can be devastating to learn that the person never cared about you and that the mean behaviors were on purpose and that the nice moments were a fake. Narcissist are selfish monsters. BUT with all that being said you may be broken currently but you're FREE. Take back your power. Live again. You can do it, it just takes time. I'm rooting for you. God bless. You will rise above this. Stronger and definitely wiser. Its not you. Its them.
This is unbelievable how on point you are, im astonished!!! U seriously just read me my life for the past 10 years!! I married the person you're describing, i divorced him 4 years ago and he has a new victim, yet im being harassed and stalked
@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I'm exhausted and drained seriously I need help, I made a horrible mistake by marrying and reproducing with this demon, I've had several peace orders, he's even done 3 years in jail, he won't leave me alone, I've moved 3 times!! Wth
The Narc. has been my greatest teacher. I learned, I really learned. I’ve healed I am thankful that I have freed myself (w/ help)… Because I’ve really learned, I won’t fall for it again. I am very grateful, very thankful. Thank you God.
My Mother tortured me all my life to make her #1. I resisted all my life...she has my 2 narcissistic.brothers 100% I called them the ma barka and sons team. I'm the only one in the family that ever got into 12-step programs Al-Anon & church which saved my life and continues to....My sister's 55 they almost put her in an institution.... She's an Earth Angel 😇... My mother is 96 in her end of days and going right to the last breath as a narcissist. I can't believe even potential hell 🔥 & death hasn't changed her.. I can't begin to tell you the chaos. I'm so glad I hung in there tho despite the endless endless discards to this point because my sister never would have been set free.... I love my sister so much.. they made her disabled... The good news is my sister has finally been set free by watching it play out.. it got so bad that my sister's eyes were finally opened. She had to figure it out herself.. 🙏
Great message. Beautiful background. Loved the perspective of the huge tree limb 🌳 I think what confused me is how the narcissists hung onto some people / relationships just fine and had no problem tossing me aside. Didn’t get it until learning about enmeshment. I continue to want to be somewhat independent and spend some Level of time alone/in prayer/ hobbies / whatever and they do better in relationships that constantly are there for them. That object constancy issue of them expecting me to be their mommy. No thanks. Over that now. Doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse or job or friend. They all do this. Hope I am interpreting this correctly, but basically I didn’t make the cut and they cut me out quickly and I remained in that deval stage a long time. Have a great evening and thank you 🙏 ❤
Awww, Grateful! You’re one of my DEAREST friends on this channel! ❤❤❤ It makes me sad that you went through this… that ANY of us went through this, but I know the happiness that is ahead for y’all! You can see it in Andrew here ☝️☝️☺️😁❤️❤️❤️ HE knows 😉
@@emilywilson7308 yes it does and that’s why I don’t want to be in any draining relationships again. You know because you’ve been through it. How are you Emily? 💞🫂🙏
@@jennifernewton4637 hi Jennifer, what a kind message. Thank you 💞🙏🫂 Yes, I’m also sorry you and this community have experienced so much abuse. But we do have so much abundance and energy as we heal and grow. It’s truly amazing. Thank you for pointing out the positive (which is far greater). Love you. Wishing you an evening of joy!
The 5th stage of the relationsh*t is "The Grand Finale" (If you don't know what that is I hope it stays that way!) but *many narcissists will break the law to punish you for loving them.*
I have never listened to anything more true, spot on, in my LIFE!!!!! Unfortunately, but at least people will know and realize that it's not them. I endured 28 years of this, and it just got worse and worse. And worse!
Sir, I have watched hundreds of videos about narcissits and finally this one described all of the most intimate relationships of my life which began with my mother.I luckily divorced my husband of 26 years last year!But was quickly ensnared by another. I think i can finally identify these abusers. Thank you so much.
April 2024 it will be two years without the narc. It seems like yesterday. I cried for a year. Still in pain. It is so hard to move on and it is such a lonely process especially in the holiday season.
Thanks to your videos Andrew i have come a long way in happiness. i love being away from this person. to tell you truth i did not know the meaning of a Narcissist. i was living with the enemy. thank you my friend.
Thank you for sharing your hope to those of us who feel lost… I am coming out a really long, yo-yo relationship… I absolutely hate what this is done to me, but I am looking forward to a day of being the light I once was.
20 yrs. My health is bad and I’m having a horrible time getting out of here. I’m not giving up. I just hope my body doesn’t give out. Thankyou for all you do.
Im ending this relationship tonight, I’m starting the new year without the narcissistic abuse please pray for me ❤
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Hang in there
If you need someone to talk to reach out. I drove people crazy and nobody wanted to hear what I had to say but the best thing is to talk to someone or a therapist.
can we get an update?
@@jltotheb5550 he is still here and making my life miserable 😞
100% accurate. Banged my head on the door for 20 years trying to have a normal romantic relationship with someone who was not capable of it.
Excellent post. I am relieved that is over.
25 years here. Tried everything...DONE
You are not alone. This coming May will make 23 years for me. I’m working to get out now.🙏🏾
It’s indescribable and only by God’s grace I made. Pat yourself on the back. You’re a survivor!🙏🏾💜💪🏾
once your educated, now you know what makes them tick, only then do you fully understand how demented their mindset is
I’m working so hard to leave 🙏🙏🙏😰the threats the constant torment Anger hate the fear u live in God has me 🙏n I will find the door🙏🙏🙏🙏😰
At this point, I’m beginning to believe that narcissists are not human. Either their body has been completely taken over by a demon or they’re pretending to be human. Sad part is that no one can understand this unless you’ve walked in our shoes. It’s maddening! I lost my mind for an entire year before I realized that I was in the process of being discarded so I was going through the silent treatment, being looked at with the disgust/disdain, being talked about to their shallow-fake friends, the dismissiveness, being nitpicked on, torn apart. It was horrible!!! Lord deliver us from these demons.
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Thank you for confirming this.
Yes, you are right. My spiritual life got completly destroyed. I believe it may be demonic.
Thank you for your testimony in trying to live a normal life with a narcissist. I've been there for 34 years, and I find myself wondering, but now knowing a narcissist is not at all 'all' human. My husband is so demon possessed. These demons won't let him be human. The world was formed just for him. When a needed confrontation begins, I can feel how he wants to tear me apart bone by bone. I feel that demonic energy coming against me, ready to war and beat me as if I were as big as a bear. I'm a woman. He sees me as another one as himself. This is my season to be free from his demons. He is less than a venomous snake 🐍. He is a horror that you cannot, absolutely cannot reason with. I've been in the chiropractor's offices more than I can count. I won't go into how he hurts me and my cat. I have to remove my cat away from him. He tries to make my cat do what he says do. I always watch him with her very closely. When I see a difference in her behavior or her looks, I
I can remember the last time that I slept with my now ex-wife… And like in only true fashion, the only way I know, I had one of those bearing witness to my own words that came trucking through on its own accord, driving a big rig of truth… and I blurted out how I was honestly feeling in that moment, and said, “why do I have the distinct feeling that you just cheated on somebody with your husband?“
Then an honest moment emerged from her with a timely laugh/chuckle, followed by an even more timely verbal response-follow up, “oh, that’s funny.”
“Yeah, you’re not doing much by way of quelling that feeling I’m getting w/those responses”
I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve always been into women who have been into me.
So prostituting myself, for a sense of security, was never going to work for me.
Because if the alphabet agencies thought that Albert Hoffman had discovered the truth serum… I say, God had from the beginning, because the equipment doesn’t lie… and I knew in that moment that she did not possess the reconciliation capabilities that would render the equipment back into working order, just to save face.
That was an early 2019… and happy to say that it has been guarded under, “super soldiers” watch ever since.
And it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than oceans 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 and any other ones, before it will ever be in the hands of anyone!!
And with the state of the art, biometric, rolling combination, security feature…
It’s going to take, “the one”, in order to unlock its security…
And with every day that it remains that way, the stronger, the security features are, and the more obvious its potential grifters appear.
Let’s just say I’ve grown fond and have much appreciation for the 16th and 17th century “belt-ware!”
Being in a narcissistic abusive relationship has been the MOST confusing, mind-boggling, hurtful, and dramatic relationship I have ever been a part of. AND I am still in pain. I hope I will never have this happen again.
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Narcisists come to steal, kill and destroy and at first they pretend to be your friend and angel of light but the truth eventually starts coming out when your whole life starts falling apart. Thank you 🙏 Andrew ❤
Welcome 💯💯🙌🙏
Yes Andrew, thx!
TRUTH
So very true. It's just too much. Mental and emotional abuse is so real and raw. Never in a million years did I think I'd be married to one of these monsters. But praise God, I'm finally free!! Unfortunately, we have a child together so he still harass me and violating the court order habitually. But I limit contact as much as possible
Exactly what happened to me
They are empty, hallow and dull. They are boring, cant carry on a conversation with any fresh ideas. They just mirror what you just said in a conversation. Yes, they walk way ahead of you! They are rude.
@roch. "All pigs have the same nose." Curiously enough thats a quote from the narc.
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Or walk behind you…… and yes they repeat everything you say as if it’s their bright idea… so annoying, I wonder if they do that on purpose.
Yep. We call it parroting in education.
@@iamfree3781 O That fits in so very well 🦜 Thank you.
Patterns, habits of the narc. Their low vibe energy is soul sucking. Free yourself and go no contact. PEACE 2024🤍
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The only time their energy appears to be high is when they know they have an audience who are being manipulated as well. Behind closed doors it's another story.
Agreed@@lalani888ARTblue
@@lalani888ARTblue, funny how some of my friends disliked my husband. I'm staying in a tiny RV on my BIL's property. My Sil's were under no illusions about him. They loved him, but his big brother and his two nephews saw him at his worst.
Yes, low vibe energy is soul sucking.
Never underestimate the Power we have to take our life in a new direction...A move from Chaos into Calm....
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Great!🎉
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Thank you.
I think it must be a little easier now than 20 years ago. I was full of fear my family would find out as he had them eating out of his hands and a golden boy in my narcissistic Mother's eyes and of course He Knew This!
Thanks to Andrew the realisation is Amazing!
I just ended my relationship today. He’s threatened my life so many times . Life has been a roller coaster since I met him. I’ve lost financially, physically, mentally, and spiritually since the day we met. It’s been 5 years and we have a two year old daughter. Please pray for my strength and protection to move on. His parents support his behavior and I’m afraid to let him see my daughter. Please pray this demon away from us
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Find a good counselor. Don't deal with this alone. You also need to protect your child.
My situation minus the child thank GOD...I need to leave too...I pray for GOD to protect and keep you and your daughter, in JESUS name, Amen!
Will be praying for you and your two year old.
I say my heart is there for you, I have been divorced for 10 years and 1 child… they will never leave you alone and try best to take what means most … your baby. Get a good attorney and write it all down and make new friends and gray rock as much as possible. Good luck.
This was so powerful!!… this is exactly the toxicity I currently experience in my relationship. The layers have been pulled back. I have actually realized several years back that this person is going to remain the narcissist that he is. I am slowly but surely preparing a way out and prayerfully without violence. Ladies, if you see the red signs, don’t ignore them, leave, and vice versa for the men.
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In the end I must say:
I took letting go to realize, that I was holding on to NOTHING!
Thank you very much Andrew,
the big tree trunk behind you looks great! 🌲🍃❤🍃😊
Welcome 😊🌲☀️🙏
Gosh, so sadly true!
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Wow!💡
My last action was "DELETE".
Empty vessels make the loudest noises..😢
Yikes, the smiling at strangers hit hard. I never could understand why that bothered her so much. Thanks for the clarity!
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My narcissistic ex even admitted to me that he knew what he had done to me, when I was pleading with him to come and talk things through, after he suddenly discarded me. He strung me along for months afterwards, claiming he was going to try harder, but this never happened. Eventually after I was emotionally broken , he started that he would only do this to me again if he came back. I was distraught as I really loved him, but I now am 100% certain that these people know from the day they meet you , exactly what they are doing to you
My stbex said the same, and did the same. We are working towards our divorce. I was in a lot of emotional pain, but this week something shifted in me when I found out he was flirting online with a 19 yr old girl. Four years older then his own daughter. A childish looking girl. I was repulsed. And he is future talking with 3-4 other women, possibly has been physically with them. I'm done. I don't even need the NC. I literally flipped a switch mentally. Finally , after a year of broken promises and so much pain. Freedom at last.
@@Ice_Ba well done to you. We are just puppets to them, to lie to , promise a life together, and cruelly throw away . I agree, sick and disgusting behaviour
what irks me is when you get one of these bleeding heart idiots saying "oh feel sorry for them, pray for them, they dont know what they are doing" pfffffffffff. they know exactly what they are doing.
People with depression do this too
disagree. what shes describing is purely narcissistic in its nature. people who are depressed dont do out of their way to knowingly harm others. @@stupid0account0name
When I finally ended contact with him after 6 years....... I thought I would feel crushed and shattered...... and I did.... for about 2 weeks. After that I felt an insane lightness, freedom, excitement, joy..... I had NO IDEA how oppressive and heavy this person and relationship was. I immediately gained power and confidence back.
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I hope for this for myself. When what you lost is so steep, it’s hard to let go.
@@kaycee5129 believe me I understand. The best advice I ever got was,
"you WILL reach a point where you are just DONE. just wait for that moment. It will come. You will know."
I reached that point. I had so much clarity. I told him "this is not how you treat someone you say you love." Then went no contact
Me too! Thankfully I no longer live in a very small snow dome that was shaken vigorously on a whim. The feeling of freedom is incredible ❤🎉💪
I felt like pressure was taken of my chest. My anxiety levels were lower. And I didn't have to be there answering my phone to avoid my x-narc accusing me of cheating. Which is something she was doing. Stay strong, you got this. 💪
A narcissist will absolutely never take blame in a fight or anything. They will use anything they can to dominate the person theyre with. They will only give you enough time and attention just to keep you hooked.
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone had 2 narcissistic wives
Exactly what happened to me😢 I relocated to New England from beautiful sunny Florida..after being foolishly tricked into believing that “He wanted me to be part of his large wonderful loving family” when I arrived I had to catch an Uber to get to the address he gave me..not a soul there to greet me..I was there alone with him as I observed a man I thought I knew become a rude, condescending, arrogant, mean gaslighting abusive creep. After 3 months of him “isolating” me from meeting new friends and exploring the area..I escaped, drove almost 2,000 miles alone with a broken ankle to get back to Florida. He still blames me for not “making my life in New England” because I was too selfish. Such a whirlwind of roller coaster emotions. God Bless any and all that have endured the wrath of these cruel people.
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YOU ESCAPED ,WITH A BROKEN ANKLE KUDOS TO YOU.
@@MattyNelson-rs3ik ❤️
its crazy how they all act the same... im laughting at it right now , seems like im healing finally
23 yrs with narrasist I was 18 when we met and discarded at 40. I m happy to say I m 5 years free!! unfortunately I have PTSD to add to my list of disabilities I acquired over our time together...I m still happy being 5yrs free and staying single😊
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I understand C-PTSD.
the PTSD gets better as you focus on your healing. i urge you to remember its not a life sentence unless you want it to be. you can fully recover and really heal yourself. its 1 of the view gifts that come out of a relationship w these types. you can heal your mind and heart take the time to do so your worth it
PTSD. That's what I've finally realised has hobbled my post-narcissist attempts at relationships. Being triggered by seemingly innocuous things. Staying single is a helluva solution, but I don't want to damage any more innocent parties.
Omg. this was awesome and you made it plain
Thank you
I’m a psychiatrist and love this video. Thank you for the brutal honesty and descriptions of calling it out as it happens in real life. All those clues…. Thanks for talking about all the tiny details that gives us an idea but no one else talks about
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A psychiatrist? Wow!! No one goes unscathed
@@MattyNelson-rs3ik I tried to reply to your message but it looks like I am blocked by either RUclips or Andrew. ???
It was our first Christmas together, I had just had our first son, I had moved in a few months prior. My son was about three weeks old and I was taking too long to get ready. Mind you I was still recovering from giving birth, a newly breastfeeding mother, trying to get myself and baby ready to leave. I think he was mad that the attention was no longer on him, or that I was taking too long. He freaked out, took off in his car, speed out the driveway. That was the very first time the mask fell. He came back and pretended like nothing happened, I had to put a smile on my face and go to his family’s Christmas. I was devastated.
It was not until eight years later that I googled silent treatment and no empathy that I finally realized what type of monster I was dealing with. I have a mother who taught me to see the best in people, sometimes there is no best, seeking the best in these type of people will only hurt you, waste years of your life.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏😌💯
I grew up a strict catholic and was always told to turn the other cheek. It took along time for me to finally stand up for myself. Sometimes there isn't any good in people...the devil does roam this Earth.
Excellent video. Perfect description of narcissists. Spent 10 years married to an emotionally abusive narcissist. Almost destroyed me, but I came out exponentially stronger. Days or weeks of silent treatment for reasons I could only guess. The little faces, the smirks, the behavior, all spot on. Never got direct confrontation, it was extremely passive aggressive. Playing victim, baseless accusations, etc. She took a selfless, compassionate man and made him hate himself. Being able to recognize the characteristics and behaviors of narcissists is so crucial for everyone, to avoid getting caught in the trap. I wish I had this knowledge and wisdom 20 years ago, and the EQ to set proper, firm boundaries. Have a fantastic New Year's my dude.
Thank you for sharing 😌🙏🙌
I wish us all better in the coming year. I also wish we all didn't know what you're describing, because it means experiencing it first-hand. That kind of knowledge would be unethical to ask anyone to get. 😕
You literally just described myself
@@cc1k435 Absolutely! However, leaps in personal growth most often follow horrific experiences, since those experiences destroy the illusions we have about ourselves. I, for one, am thankful for the experience, in the same way a scrap piece of steel is thankful to a blacksmith for remaking it into a brand new piece of art. :) Have a fantastic new year!!
@@cc1k435 you mean unethical for anyone to accept. 🖖
They are the greatest pretenders, liars and deceiver’s. Just walking, talking fraudsters!
No one can have a relationship with someone whom can’t relate.
😌😌
I appreciate you so much. I got discarded on December 6th. I’ve gone no contact for 14 days. You are describing my relationship to a tee. I am in pain! You are giving me hope everyday! Thank you Thank you Thank you!
Same
You’re not alone 🙏 Stay strong, process everything in your own time and absorb all of this wisdom and positivity from the channel 👍💪✨
Thank you! I feel alone, however I think it is better to be alone than to be constantly devalued & gaslighted. Thank you for the kind words.
@@Narcslayer88 I understand fully what you're going through
Stay strong it's rough it's been 1 year for me. I was discarded three days before Christmas 🎄 I was a wreck, but I made it through with the help from Andrew. Remember to take care of yourself ❤️
I finally got tired of holding everything together and the disrespect
The disrespect and non-ending lies, lies that aren't even necessary to cover up some selfish reason.
The reason they cannot love you is because they cannot love themselves. It’s the saddest thing ever…
No many people loved them,they are takers, o thing in them!
I disagree. They make all efforts to get everything for themselves and do feel superior (better looking, more intelligent, more creative, more charming, more gifted and talented, more popular....) to you. They cannot love inferior beings.
Dang. Great information. I lived this trauma once. My ex narcissist loved to quickly exit the car when we arrived at whatever destination and walk way ahead of me. As I still sit in the car unbuckling my seat belt. Weird sh*t. Narcissist are pure evil.
Thank you for sharing 😌😌🙏
Or pretending they don't know you when around others, and not introducing you to family and friends.
@@Hatbox948 or just being cold with you around others whereas when it’s just one on one, they are super fake friendly to you.
Same for me, darting out of the car never waiting for me. Sickening 😮
Yea and they only do this because they are the real insecure ones so they have to sort of “one up” or stay ahead of you and remain the center of attention or in control …I used to get mad because I’m like wow do these people ever get tired of being sick??? And always having to fake it? Don’t they ever get tired of being treaturous? Like damn
Spot on. You just told the story of my life. I divorced my narcissistic sociopath of 20 years. The divorce took over 5 years.
😌😌🙏🙌
Wow. I'm sorry it took so long. Its like they want to keep one from moving on.
@@judyyates2763 🙌🏻 🙏🏻💞
My 17 year marriage to a narc took about 2 years. When I had a enough she actually told me I didn’t have the balls to divorce her 😂. I divorced that ass.! She gave me hell.
@@kah4325 Your life will be better than hers. Karma baby! 🙏🏻💞
You are the only person who has ever described narcissistic relationships so plainly and accurately- to finally lift the fog…. 🤯
😌😌🙏
As soon as I called out their exact inappropriate behavior, I was told I was a liar. They didn’t do any of those things to me… Just glad I did a reverse discard… These people a complete waste of time and money.
I have survived a relationship with a man who has complex NPD and is an alcoholic. I'm a nurse, an empath. I have never met a more cruel, calculating and destructive perpetrator of emotional abuse in my life-i'm 59yrs. I'm on the path of recovery and discovery, it takes time but you will get there. Thank you Andrew you are empowering and enlightening. Please remember survivors.... you are beautiful, kind and caring and out there are individuals who share your values and beliefs so never give up.
Welcome..😌🙏🙌
The smirk ,the testing,the turning things around to make you look crazy ,the cold heartedness,wasted time and energy ! Oooh how they secretly (or not ) revel in messing with other people's lives.
Empath 😂😂😂🤡
@@longdong3889laughing at people in pain...peak narcissism.
@@emmarae4322 let me guess, you think you're an "empath" too lol
That's legit narcissistic. You think you are better than me??? 😂😂😂🤡
This is like being in prison without bars
I remember you said they will eventually over play their hand. It’s like empathy, our codependent-type of relationship style, has some hypnotic effect as though they can extract more openly from us as the depth of how we feel for them goes. The more you love them and place them on a pedestal the more they feel entitled to take from you, theft is remember non existent for them your stuff is theirs. I hope you feel at the least grateful that you are alive. Some people don’t ever get out alive. I laugh now thinking back on what I escaped, though I am not bitter anymore. Being punished by someone you love hurts the most but is a great teacher!
😌😌🙏🙌
A painful, hard lesson learned well!
So glad it's behind! 👍
Blessings
🌈 🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 it’s true. I feel fortunate I am able to think introspectively and make better decisions going forward. 💫🙋🏼♂️💯✅
All true and a great ( you used it as a lesson) attitude. Just to get to that point to extract something positive, so much emotional swamp one may have to slog through. I almost don't want to go there ( those who ended their lives). But, I'm an empath and feel so bad that some never knew what hit them with such a debilitating force.
@@jhavajoe3792 it was the most confusing relationship I’ve ever had. I’m lucky to have family, a place to process my life and thoughts, while rebuilding a new one. I love when Andrew says, “read and book, write a book, take a class teach a class”. Would be nice to do one of each! 😂
So true ..I hung on for my two children Then eventually had to walk away ...parental alienation was the final blow ...These people are evil and will never ever change
I don't believe a narc could be saved not even by god
❤
Parental alienation is the cruelest tool that narcissists use. So sorry you suffered!
I think that s the suckiest part just knowing that they will never change… no matter how much hope you have for them they will say sorry (fake sorry) and go right back to thier ways..
@@jtee231 They can't its in their dna
Love yourself enough to walk away from fake anything ❤
💯💯❤️
True.
That is why narcissists cannot stand to be in the company of other narcissists.
While he is trying to break the other narcissit.
The other narcissit is trying to break him.
They will debilitate and cripple you, i was left socially anxious and extremely depressed; and just now stepping out of my isolation season after 4 years. Slowly but surely..🦋
😌😌🙏
They do. And it takes a long time to recover. I’m glad you are. 🦋
I am just starting my season. I don't want to wait 4 years if I don't have to. I'm a loner anyway.
It’s crazy. We walk among thousands of people every day, yet this one person takes all energy. Somehow, break away from it and direct attention elsewhere. It’s hard, but necessary. The relationship never gets better; in fact, it destroys you--and you have to rebuild yourself.
May 2024 be healing.
😌😌🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone it’s an all-consuming experience-trying to figure out what you are doing wrong and trying to correct it, only to have it fail, again and again. At the end, I came to realize that my relationship with my Creator, myself, pets, etc. were part of the healing process. For me, journaling was perhaps the best way of expressing it. (Interestingly, those things were the very things that this person tried to take out of my life.)
Amen
That’s one thing I hated I live with a narcissist room mate whom I thought was my friend but they were just as backstabbing and two faced as all get out….and they thought because we were friends they didn’t have to have boundaries they would come into the bathroom while I’m using it even thought I said I didn’t like that and I had to get upset with them for them to get the message then when I’m sitting at the table watching videos after a long day of work trying to eat they would come and shove videos in my face and show me things I’ve already seen a million times … then they would bust in my room at midnight hours and wake me up about problems they were having with thier relationship or turn on loud music and vacuum by my door they would even go into my mini fridge to get water while I’m sleeping or not at home or ask to use my car which I had to cut off because of this heavy drinking.. basically an alcoholic.. and then she would go off on me calling me lonely bitches and telling me to get out of her house over little to nothing… then when I moved she had enough nerve to tell me to come back because I don’t need to be out here alone….. and I’m thinking in my head NO you just don’t want to be alone…smh
The very night I moved in with my ex narc, he began stonewalling in earnest, the next year was a torture chamber of fear, confusion, and exhaustion, that led to me sleeping at night in my car in a church parking lot. My son and best friend were the only ones he couldn’t alienate, and one day they both said something that resonated with me and caused me to research what ended up being narcissism, and NPD. It was life changing, and from that day on, the direction and theme of my life changed! 7 years later he is still stalking me and trying hard to hoover me back…I remain non responsive and no contact. I am now on alert for narcissistic people…they are not welcome in my life. I have tossed out a long time friend and a sister who are both toxic narcs. Life is so much more peaceful now!
Thank you for sharing..😌💯🙏
Thanks for this video. Took me 45 years of marriage to finally figure out that my wife is a covert narcissist. This has been a long 5 years of healing for me. One day at a time.
Welcome 😌😌🙏
Wow... i thought my 30 years was a long time. I also think, what was wrong with me, but am understand that my own childhood abandonment and rejections (whether intentional or unintentional) played a great part in my codependencies on needing people to accept me. So he kept taking, and i kept giving with the hope of being loved. It is a sad scenario.
With my ex-narc's mouth, the silent treatment was GOLD!
Silence is golden!
Oh for sure. It’s terrible. My husband does that. In the middle of it now bc he lost his temper in front of someone and his mask slipped. Now I’m the punching bag. I hate the tension but now I’m learning to use that to do things I want and use it as a break.
It’s the forgiveness I can’t get to. I know I will NEVER forget.
Happy New Year everyone
We will carry this around like a battle scar we can all relate. ❤❤
Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone what they did to you. I'm not ready to forgive mine either, BUT I can't continue to be so angry. Just know that they WILL face KARMA & live a very poor existence. In the end of their life, they will have NOTHING
of substance. ❤hang tough!
@@robynhanda1008 Hole where the heart is. They get karma in their sleep. They HATE themselves. They will never Repent for what they have done. When the mask slipped. I didn't even know who that woman was. It's CRAZY.....i can't unsee what I saw ...
Durhamcfc, we will never forget, but we do get over things. 👍💕💕🖐
Forgiveness is beyond overrated imo. I see it as enabling. Many people do not deserve forgiveness.
Discarded after 24 1/2 years marriage and 4 kids. Almost 9 years free and no contact. Didn’t realize he was a narcissist until my dad pointed it out. I’ve done a lot of research and can completely see it now. Thankful to be free.
“The pitch black of their pupils staring back at you.”
🤣😳
🥺😉
This actually happens, particularly just before they become violent. Their eyes go black. People who have faced this know what I’m talking about.
Ya but it’s been true 😢😂
😂😂😂
Soooo true… mine hid his eyes of dark brown with colored blue eye contacts…. What a facside of a relationship!
It’s so sinister. It’s hard to believe but I know you’re right Andrew because it all makes sense out of chaos snd confusion.
Thankyou 🙏
Deb
We need to talk more about when we have young children with the narcissist. It’s impossible to go no contact. They will overtly use the children to manipulate you financially and emotionally. It’s such a difficult situation to navigate.
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Don’t worry! Children have a lot of sense! They were the silent observers so they know more than you even know! Just continually show them love and they will eventually make the right choice!
Yes Karla I agree.
Hi Andrew, I grew up in a family of them and yes ended up marrying one. Nothing worse than having a whole nest of them come after you. I stayed in a homeless shelter for two years and even that was not enough for them. They stopped by once to visit on the way to the casino after saying "it doesn't look so bad" laughed and waved while "speeding" away in their recreational vehicle.
Seven years later with lots of work and lots of tears, I can say that everything has been given back to me and I can build again in "peace" and on my own time schedule. Just cruising along and enjoying the scenery. No contact was the only way out for me.
Blessings Kelly 👍
🌈 🎀😘
Thank you for sharing..😌🙌🙏
me too > a whole family of this evil spirits ( narcissist ) I remember hearing the Lord voice < saying > ( narcissist ) didn't have a clue what He was telling me... til He slowly start pulling masks off > one by one ... they all hated me ... for no cause ... Lord knows...I help em all ...on their feet...this was a very very painful experience... only seeing others that had to endure these people ( help heal, I not alone ) this was of a bloodline curses... Yah help me to < cut the cord > Blood Free...😊
I also grew up with them. Married a DA (dismissive avoidant). Not as bad as a narc as DAs aren’t as malignant as narcs are. But they present in a similar way. My narc family love him of course and always put him on a pedestal well above me who they look down on.
Andrew, I am very thankful for finding your channel. The worst part was being at his bedside during his first ever hospitalization and now knowing he was already talking to my replacement. He just turned 53 and grasping for better replacements. I know I was the best because he is trying to return now. Again, thank you from this empath.❤
Sadly I was 30 when it all started (manifesting at least). And she 24. Now I'm 36
Mine would constantly criticize me if I did ANYTHING!! Our relationship was "broken" when our second daughter came along, and emotionally ,he replaced me. I was so numb, and disengaged by never, ever being " enough" or good enough for him, that I didn't even notice. My youngest daughter woke me up out of my decades-long fog, by telling me he was a narc, and that he treated me like crap, and that I needed to leave him!! Thank God she did!! I'm separated now, and it's SO, SO, SO MUCH BETTER!!😊 Freedom and peace are wonderful, and my confidence is slowly returning as I care for my schizophrenic daughter. He got released to be footloose and fancy free!! The divorce is going to be dicey, but worth it!!
I was so angry that he discarded even his children. This meant I needed to start playing mum and dad to.my children. I was jobless when he left. God was faithful because I found a job, relocated abroad very far away, can take care of my children and again after 27 years of hell, we are living our best life. Keep the faith survivors!
Indeed, God is faithful! I am happy we survived so that we can prove them wrong😁
Be glad it discarded the children. Mine won't let go of our daughter. She has been sexually abused and now she is 11 years old. She is starting to show signs of narcissistic behavior. I'm a believer in Jesus and praying for deliverance for her and myself. I'm so, so tired. Some days I can't get out of bed :( cmon Jesus
The ex narc’s children were raised by their Mom and step father. 🙏🙏 They are well adjusted, productive adults even though he takes credits for it. There are millions of single parents out there. Self included. Peace is priceless!
He ruthlessly chipped away at my soul.
😌💯🙏
The Narcissist has to keep things churned up because they feed off of chaos and drama. They enjoy keeping people unsettled and on edge, close to causing doubt.
💯💯😉
I love the church bells ringing,only God knows what we go through dealing with Narcissists😎
Narcissists are like emotional aliens. Once you realize who they are, it almost feels like talking to an insect.
Never doubt the narcissist knows exactly what they are doing because if they didnt why would all of these arguments and chaos exists planned out by the narc especially for you
in the last two years of researching Narcissism through Forums, Sites, Books and Videos. This video RIGHT HERE! Is the Best piece I've ever Found. it's so Exact down to the very most minute details. From beginning to End.
Totally agree! So glad I'm free from the insanity.
@@calvin-coohey2112 hey that's my name mr. mr. but we can share it. I mostly go by Cal anyhoot
I sit alone again tonight.
Still they all reach out trying to figure out what I am up to. Even approaching me @ the gym this morning.. ie; flying monkeys- asking where I have been. I need peace.
The smirk 😏 literally a blank dark and demonic stare. In the beginning I thought it was my imagination. It was a lightbulb moment Andrew when you actually revealed this to be true occurrence.
I just had to pause and laugh out loud…. The emoji attack lol.
Hearts, unicorns, kisses, puppies, rainbows. Etc, etc
Then 0 emojis- I smh 🤦🏻 now.
Yes! Why are you waving to that individual.
I was accused of being the biggest flirt they knew. They also walk ahead of you not to appear attached. Stand behind you at an event to scope out the room.
What a fantastic video! Thank you always. 🙏🏻❤️☺️
Happy New Year 🎈
Peace in 2024-
Welcome 🙏🙌😌
I was with mine for 33 years, and I just didn't know that some of these things was narcissistic abuse! The walking in front of me was a surprising attribute! This video was so helpful!
😌😌🙏
Today is the two week milestone of going no contact since breaking up with my ex narcissist.
I can see on social media that they’re playing a mind game with me today and it’s painful to see. Even though I broke up with her, it was because I lost hope and I’ve been in significant pain ever since. Seeing this mind game is a hit to my heart, but it’s also showing me how spiteful they are, despite trying to keep on this mask of being a caring, empathic and grateful person.
Your videos are helping me through this though and as I’ve mentioned before, I’m super grateful for you and the community 🙏✨
I can’t wait to come out of this strong, reaching the pinnacle of indifference 💪✨🙏
Up days and Down days, Mr. Mendez. Ever so slowly ( not quick enough ) those Up days become more and
more frequent. Everyone's eventual expression, even before hitting that pinnacle: "Whew! Glad I'm out of there!!"
@@jhavajoe3792Thank you for your comforting and wise words, Joe 🙏 It’s weird how the feelings ebb and flow… I can’t wait to have that “Whew!” moment and I’ll be grateful for when it happens 🙏😮💨
I hope you are feeling strong and your spirits are high 👆✨
We’re all one strong community here, supporting each other and it is awesome ☺️🙏
I can feel your pain and am so sorry. Unfortunately this behavior is predictable & par for the course in regards to their behavior. Remember... they always have to be one up & will find ways to make you pay. Glad you can see the truth. It's best to grieve with support & Andrew's channel & tune out whatever performances she is conjuring up to further inflict pain on you. We have walked in your path. Please ignore her & focus on healing you. They sadly do not change!
Take good care now 👍
🌈 🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 Thank you so much for your comment and your kind words 🙏✨ This community is wonderful and strong 💪 and I hope I can help people just as you have helped me and I’m sure many others too 🤗🙏
Take care good care now, too 🙏🌈✨☺️
Keep the resolve! If you go back, she will finish you off !
Andrew - I'm blown away by your presentation and believe me, I've studied narcissism - NPD - sociopathy - psychopathy ETC. for over a decade (beginning with Martha Stout, PhD) in hopes that I'd be able to someday wrap my mind around these truly disturbed and disturbing people and what makes them tick. You nailed it really well with this one. On behalf of all survivors, I'd like to say a huge THANK YOU for being there to impart your wisdom on these sometimes hurtful topics. As always, Timshel❣️ Thou Mayest {and thou mayest not} It's a choice. May you be blessed.🌻
"They just got supply from de-valuing you". Very well- spoken and very true.
It took me 80 days to break the soul tie with one after 2 years. Just keep waiting it will happen.
This man’s channel will help you so much!!!!!
Bless him🎉
Awww… I LOVED the way you ended the video, because I can see how HAPPY you are and how GENUINELY you are creating these videos because your heart is really IN it and you want to help as MANY people as you can! 🙏☺️❤ Just makes me melt! Thought you would like to know, from another perspective, how NOTICEABLE your healing and happiness is… it’s contagious! 😉😉❤❤❤
🙏😌🙌❤️🌲☀️
🥰
Tricked and trapped no longer,!❤
I just LOVE it! It’s such a PERFECT example for EVERYONE here what the 3rd version of yourself POST narc relationship looks like… when you’ve FULLY healed! It’s EXACTLY where the knowledge on this channel leads!! ❤☝️❤☝️🥰
Beautiful comment and so inspiring ❤️🙏💪🙌
SO on point about the 'walking' thing Andrew. Oh my goodness I do remember that. Yes and as well as the silent treatment in the car. Meanwhile...if one of his groupy's called he was all ears and chatting away like a performer.
Exact same experience with me. And he just flew this past week, day after we spent Christmas as a family, to go meet with his new supply in a sunny place and didn’t even told our children about the trip, plus had the nerve to text our oldest it was because I didn’t give him the opportunity to tell! 😳 Had to blame me about that for her! I had to stay home with them in our dark cold country and taking care of our youngest who was ill and me in a trauma state. The new supply is a foreign woman he cheated me with online 9 years ago during the first discard. He always had her in the back burner although he made me believe he cut fully contact with her before our second child. But talk about avoidance style. The woman has 2young children herself and lives 5 hour plane ride south! [like I did!] It triggered me and broke me like hell as he informed me 4 days before Christmas and that he was going to be with her, because we are still co habiting with our children, I asked him not to do it, it’s horrible thing g to do before we really separate. but I could finally see him for what he is. No more doubts and I just wish I could go no contact but he returns today! This is what I get after 20 years!
This insight is the story of my life, so true and painful to understand. I was wife #3 until everything was gone, money, self-esteem, professional standing, spiritual health. He abandoned his children and first 2 wives. I’ve been alone and a survivor for 37 years unable to trust any man ever again. I’ve recovered financially, professionally. My life is behind me. Even now it’s so difficult to look ahead, to feel joy, have hope. Sometimes I think it would be better to just close my eyes.
Still, friends remark about how “charming” he was. When he abandoned me the minister who married us asked what I did to drive him away??? It would have been less painful to stab me in my heart.
The only joy I have is from my little dogs, feeding deer, birds, squirrels and bunnies in my back yard and drinking in the beauty and freedom of the evergreens, fresh, cool air and hearing nothing but silence at night.
God’s qualities are love, wisdom, power and justice. In the end all will be leveled and balanced and made right. Hope I see it. I hope I can feel and believe it.
Thank you so much! You were the first one to help me educate myself : 2 years later, I am in such a peaceful place!!! Thank you Father God !!! I calmed down, I have hope, I’m happy , have my own place, a great job!, AND YOU WILL TOO!!! God sees all evil! Call out to him ❤
Welcome..💜😌🙏
You are spot on bro! It’s pretty amazing how detailed you are at exposing these demons. Thanks for the education sir!
That's their game Andrew. We build them up they tare us down until we're a shell of ourselves and then expect to have you build back up and they can come back and do it again! No no not any longer! We got the ace in the hole now these videos. People are becoming aware and awakened it's a battle between good and evil and best believe good always comes out on top! You can cut a tree 🌴 down but it's deep rooted so there is hope that that tree will rise again! That tree is us! 🙌🏾❤️
😌😌🙏💪💯
Love that analogy about “The Giving Tree” - I’ve felt that way in so many relationships in the past. Now that I’m educated about narcissistic traits & strategies, life is 100% better. It’s so easy to say No and/or see their BS for what it is (attempted manipulation) and I’m attracting so many more high quality people into my life. Thank you and Bless you, Andrew, for your dedication to providing this content with so many examples and scenarios. 🙏✨
My narcissist was far in to the devaluation phase after 33 years, had a new supply for 7 years behind my back (he got great pleasure and power being sneaky). He was in the discard phase when I told him to get out of the house or be escorted out. We are now in the beginning phase of divorce and he is all about the money. He and his new supply can't wait to get half of everything including my gold and silver coins and my crypto investment. I am no contact. I just hope the judge sees thru the lies (I'm crazy) and rules in my favor.
The narcissist knows exactly what they are doing. Thats why they should be put behind bars.
I can really resonate with this video. This is exactly how it is & what it is like to be in these relationships. I don't know how you do it. Your videos do not leave anything out. And you explain with such clarity. Very interesting tree behind you 🙂💓. Have a good evening 🙂. God's blessings, grace, abundance & peace to you 🙂☀️☀️☀️🪶🪶
Thank you 😌🙏🌲🙌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You're welcome 🙂🙂
No sugar coating. He was the first person on my way to freedom from this insanity.. ❤
jp-rs6bs, Andrew is the BEST!
In a world where paying for therapy is out of reach for many, I want to thank you for your channel. You are helping people more than you know.
❤️😌🙏
my ex girlfriend began by totally idealizing me saying she wanted to have children and how much she loved me. Pretty quickly she began criticizing everything I did including my hobbies and things I was passionate about. I am open to criticism but hers was an outlet for her rage. The weird thing is whenever I would address her anger she would totally deny it and in fact raise her voice cuss and stonewall. whenever i was happy she would try to bring me down. It was absolutely draining and I am in the recovery phase. I don't know exactly if she was a narcissist or bpd but these descriptions seem spot on. So glad to have her gone
Ya’ll, first , I THANK GOD FOR THIS ! This man knows what he’s talking about ! YA’ LL NEED TO LISTEN TO HIM !
😌😌🙏
Wow! This was explained so well! You hit the nail on the head in so many areas. The person I had a relationship with was not only narcissistic but bi-polar too. Almost ground me to a pulp! But Jesus said enough ! And He is healing me! It took over a year to get my barring, but I’m finding myself and my way back!
My family of origin was an in-tact family, the ex-narcissist came from a terribly broken family. I see that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy for our relationship to fall apart. I found myself reassuring the narcissist that I would not leave, which was not something I would not naturally be inclined to say. I notice all of this now in hindsight, after having discarded the narcissist. Freedom was hard-earned and painful, but it is mine. Be well.
Having gone to great lengths to educate myself about the narcissist, I can confidently say I know them and I know how they operate. Even so, I still fail to grasp it, I still can't wrap my head around these seemingly human beings that act like monsters/evil spirits/aliens/dead souls - whichever way you want to describe them.
👍👍👍
lalaland is their space unreal
Narcs are created at a specific time, and the pathology can be complex.
You go through 2 births, physical, and then around 18 months, your identity emerges. Before then, an infant doesn't know they are a separate person from their mother or the universe. That is why you can't remember anything as an infant. Your first memories and learning how to speak is when the process happens. If trauma occurs during this separation phase, you get a narc. Trauma being physical, to illness, to an alcoholic mother.
It is arrested development. They literally don't have an ego, a strange concept to wrap your head around. But it never developed along with empathy. They are partially developed people A shell. So they have to create an avatar of the missing psyche using other peoples' personalities trying to complete that process, a replacement of the missing mother. All the while, simulating people trying to act normal.
When the avatar of illusion fails and they can't complete the birth, they destroy the false avatar of mother and start the process over. That is the Narc cycle.
They can't see you as a person because they ldon't have the capability too, since they can't see themselves as a person. They are 2yo with adult capabilities, that is what makes them so dangerous. But they can't even conjure an image of you if you are not in front of them, which is why they can't create empathy.
The tv show Dexter is a great analogy of narc development. Trauma as the mother is killed as an infant. They don't develop an identity so they create a false one for other people. They find supply and kill it for relief in order to complete the arrested development from that trauma but will fail. You can't create an ego. Then they move on to the next supply and attempt it over and over. That is why there is no treatment or cure. All the while mimicking a whole person.
If a 3yo can't do it, they can't. That is why they have bad memories, are manipulative, don't have empathy or boundaries, and move from one supply to the next without a care, because that is how a 3 yo operates. They expect unconditional love because that is what a 3yo is supposed to receive from their mother, and they force you into that role. Since the mother has abandoned, aka trauma, they will try to recreate that unconditional love or artificial mother by any means necessary.
Find Professor Veknin, he wrote the book on narcs.
@@Nylon_riot, excellent explanation, thank you. But that is so sad! According to spiritual and religious beliefs, everyone gets opportunities to save themselves, to get better. Why are these narc people doomed if what they became was not due to their own doing? Is it purely a matter of choices?
Some of this is true some not
Ain't it all just the sad, sad truth... they try to extinguish the light of your very soul, but during the relationship/marriage, neither of you realize that you are too strong to allow the narcissists to destroy you completely. Oh yeah... the old walk 10 paces behind him... I would ask him to slow down and let me catch up and walk beside me...he would laugh and continually repeat this behavior. I always hated that, and I also hated the endless to-do list he would have waiting for me after working 10 hours overnight, throwing freight and stocking shelves then working till noon at the office of a construction company. He'd hand me the list as soon as I walked through the door. Holiday hoovers I have learned to gray rock them.
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Spot on. A definitive class in dealing with a narcissist.
This training will teach you every strategy for surviving and defeating the enemy in the war you were dragged into.
And the rule of seasoned campaigners is-
Never stop fighting.
Never surrender.
Know your objective…
This is, to extricate yourself from the combat zone. With as few injuries as possible.
A fighting withdrawal.
Make an exit strategy and fight your way out.
God bless Andrew. Semper Fi.
The narc and borderline is my mother. She’s truly in a spiral that just spins around and around. I am not playing any more and I am grey rock and very low contact. Staying distant allows you to see the circus. Don’t respond to the hoover and don’t respond to the discard… it’s all the same thing. Keep your distance. I am now working on being myself,feeling my feelings and allowing myself to disappoint others, healing my codependent tendencies and being ok in the grey area that is healthy human life. One thing that I do know, if you were raised by borderline or narcissistic parents you will need support together away from the enmeshment. Blessing to you all, it’s very brave to look up and radically accept a difficult situation. You can get clarity and you can heal. Blessings to you Andrew for your remarkable work and your daily insights. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing 🙌💯😌
They truly are destructive individuals
Yes, they have no commitment to anyone.. when I met this man, he'd been divorced for about 18 months, when I met his son, he said to me, don't let dad walk all over you, he has been doing it to me for years! So I should have stepped out then..🕳️
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone great video, Andrew, well said, thanks 👍❤️
Thanks for another video Andrew! Wishing you health and wealth in 2024!
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
I,m grieving the friendship that had lasted 17 years , still unbelievable that the narccistist friend never really cared about me , it,s hard to wrap my head around that fact . I broke up that friendship not planned , I snapped after again nasty behaviour gaslight and shiftblaming
One year healing and understanding what and why happened. Very accurate
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Listening to this with silent tears streaming down my face. My mind is blown. I have never heard a narcissist SME explain my relationship so perfectly. I was discarded three days before Xmas 2023 and I am broken.
Hi lovely, I am so terribly sorry that you are hurting. I was discarded by my ex narc a week and some change after delivering our daughter. When I tell you I was devastated, man, I was DEVASTATED, broken. I was abandoned in my most vulnerable state. This was a year and a half ago and now I can't remember why I ever loved him. I go to sleep at night with so much peace and he goes to sleep with his demons. It will get better. The road seems long but only bc you are just beginning your journey. You will laugh again, you will smile again, you will love again. I promise you it gets better but we have to show up for ourselves every day. What worked for me was realizing and accepting that he never loved or cared about me (denial will keep you in a loop), do small acts of love for yourself, stop worrying about what they're doing, if they regret it, if they still love you ( these questions only have us hold on to false hope when we really need to move on), lastly, what worked for me is dedicating my time to my relationship with God. I owe all this wisdom and peace to Him. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and you deserve all the wonderful things God and the world has to offer. Keep your head up, I hope this helps 🤍
It can be devastating to learn that the person never cared about you and that the mean behaviors were on purpose and that the nice moments were a fake. Narcissist are selfish monsters. BUT with all that being said you may be broken currently but you're FREE. Take back your power. Live again. You can do it, it just takes time. I'm rooting for you. God bless. You will rise above this. Stronger and definitely wiser. Its not you. Its them.
Btw this is the most brilliant straight forward video describing toxic people to a tee,Thankyou
This is unbelievable how on point you are, im astonished!!! U seriously just read me my life for the past 10 years!! I married the person you're describing, i divorced him 4 years ago and he has a new victim, yet im being harassed and stalked
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@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I'm exhausted and drained seriously I need help, I made a horrible mistake by marrying and reproducing with this demon, I've had several peace orders, he's even done 3 years in jail, he won't leave me alone, I've moved 3 times!! Wth
The Narc. has been my greatest teacher. I learned, I really learned. I’ve healed I am thankful that I have freed myself (w/ help)… Because I’ve really learned, I won’t fall for it again. I am very grateful, very thankful. Thank you God.
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My Mother tortured me all my life to make her #1. I resisted all my life...she has my 2 narcissistic.brothers 100% I called them the ma barka and sons team. I'm the only one in the family that ever got into 12-step programs Al-Anon & church which saved my life and continues to....My sister's 55 they almost put her in an institution.... She's an Earth Angel 😇... My mother is 96 in her end of days and going right to the last breath as a narcissist. I can't believe even potential hell 🔥 & death hasn't changed her.. I can't begin to tell you the chaos. I'm so glad I hung in there tho despite the endless endless discards to this point because my sister never would have been set free.... I love my sister so much.. they made her disabled... The good news is my sister has finally been set free by watching it play out.. it got so bad that my sister's eyes were finally opened. She had to figure it out herself.. 🙏
Great message. Beautiful background. Loved the perspective of the huge tree limb 🌳
I think what confused me is how the narcissists hung onto some people / relationships just fine and had no problem tossing me aside. Didn’t get it until learning about enmeshment. I continue to want to be somewhat independent and spend some
Level of time alone/in prayer/ hobbies / whatever and they do better in relationships that constantly are there for them. That object constancy issue of them expecting me to be their mommy. No thanks. Over that now. Doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse or job or friend. They all do this. Hope I am interpreting this correctly, but basically I didn’t make the cut and they cut me out quickly and I remained in that deval stage a long time.
Have a great evening and thank you 🙏 ❤
Welcome 😌🙏🙌🌲
💔It wears you down.
Awww, Grateful! You’re one of my DEAREST friends on this channel! ❤❤❤ It makes me sad that you went through this… that ANY of us went through this, but I know the happiness that is ahead for y’all! You can see it in Andrew here ☝️☝️☺️😁❤️❤️❤️ HE knows 😉
@@emilywilson7308 yes it does and that’s why I don’t want to be in any draining relationships again. You know because you’ve been through it. How are you Emily? 💞🫂🙏
@@jennifernewton4637 hi Jennifer, what a kind message. Thank you 💞🙏🫂
Yes, I’m also sorry you and this community have experienced so much abuse. But we do have so much abundance and energy as we heal and grow. It’s truly amazing. Thank you for pointing out the positive (which is far greater). Love you. Wishing you an evening of joy!
The 5th stage of the relationsh*t is "The Grand Finale" (If you don't know what that is I hope it stays that way!) but *many narcissists will break the law to punish you for loving them.*
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Yep, I'm facing IRS audit because he filed fraudulent tax return in my name.
Hope he goes to jail .. that’s criminal activity
My husband punishing me 2.8 years into divorce and goes above and beyond to ruin my life daily
I have never listened to anything more true, spot on, in my LIFE!!!!! Unfortunately, but at least people will know and realize that it's not them. I endured 28 years of this, and it just got worse and worse. And worse!
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Sir, I have watched hundreds of videos about narcissits and finally this one described all of the most intimate relationships of my life which began with my mother.I luckily divorced my husband of 26 years last year!But was quickly ensnared by another. I think i can finally identify these abusers. Thank you so much.
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
April 2024 it will be two years without the narc. It seems like yesterday. I cried for a year. Still in pain. It is so hard to move on and it is such a lonely process especially in the holiday season.
Keep your resolve! It gets better with time especially when you see things playing out!
Thank you, Andrew, for continuing to share THE TRUTH! Namaste
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Thanks to your videos Andrew i have come a long way in happiness. i love being away from this person.
to tell you truth i did not know the meaning of a Narcissist. i was living with the enemy.
thank you my friend.
Welcome 😌🙏💯💯
Beautiful.. Happy New Year! 👍
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Thank you for sharing your hope to those of us who feel lost…
I am coming out a really long, yo-yo relationship… I absolutely hate what this is done to me, but I am looking forward to a day of being the light I once was.
20 yrs. My health is bad and I’m having a horrible time getting out of here. I’m not giving up. I just hope my body doesn’t give out. Thankyou for all you do.
I know the toil on the body is bad..keep going don’t give up l get out.
Happy New Year Andrew and all. Thank you for your knowledge and guidance. Namaste 🙏
Namaste..🙌😌🙏