The Illegal World of Crash Bandicoot Bootlegs - Caddicarus
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
- Bandicoot Month is still June. It's June 33rd. Here are some Crash Bandicoot Bootlegs. Thanks to Epic Games for sponsoring - Fall Guys is now free! Download here: pixly.go2cloud.org/SH3I4 #FallGuys ▼ MORE BELOW ▼
Special thanks to / jetpackbraggin for the incredible thumbnail art!
Also, special thanks to / mittenstv for the new Bandicoot Month animation,
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and / orzeeee for the extra modelling, texturing and 3D logo!
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Crash Bandicoot has bootlegs. Surprised? I was, actually. I've barely seen any. But today we're going to look at a lot - whether it be with iPhone App Store bootlegs or Android Google Play Store ripoffs, or even the Chinese knockoffs, Brazillian knockoffs and Russian knockoffs of Crash games. There's 2003 Crash 2 Advance gameplay to see, Crash Bandicoot Advance 4 gameplay, 8 bit Crash Bandicoot NES gameplay from the entire knockoff PS1 console - the Family Karaoto - Crash Bandicoot Sega Genesis gameplay or Crash Bandicoot Mega Drive gameplay for others, and a mass amount of other ripoff Crash Bandicoot games with Google Play bootleg apps and iPhone App Store ripoff games such as a crossover with Angry Birds. Angry Birds Crash Bandicoot. Crash Bandicoot Angry Birds. Don't miss this Caddicarus.
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Watch more comedy game reviews like my Crash Bandicoot Bootlegs review on my channel below! | Caddicarus
/ caddicarus
#CrashBandicoot #Bootlegs #BootlegGames #Crash4 #RipOffs #Caddicarus 
Игры
Yes, Bandicoot Month is June, but I cheese-grated my whole knuckle off recently. I wish I was joking. I'm in agony. Let's just say it's June 33rd. This won't hurt though - Fall Guys is now free! Download here: pixly.go2cloud.org/SH3I4
*Also, the 4K quality of the video is still processing - please give it some time if you wanna see the video in the best possible quality!
Damn, sorry to hear that, hope you feel better soon.
You should change it to July.
I don’t care thank you for the video
Happy (late) Bandiconth! 🥳
Hope you make a swift recovery.
Caddicarus is basically a preschool show for adults where we have an eccentric host covering interesting topics and is joined by other ungodly beings.
Probably the best description I've ever heard!
MECHA-LECHA-HI-MECHA-Hi, everyone, I'm SPONS!
Preschool shows are quaite populare in the UK, makes sence becuse this Webshow is from thr UK.
And also because preschool shows in the UK are weird and special
Like Mr maker or whatever that show was called
17:05 it can't be bootleg if it's made by the main character himself, GIGABRAIN
@Patterz why do i see you everywhere? 😅
Why do you like all my favorite youtubers
Caddy: "I give up easily."
Also caddy: **is masochistic enough to get every single platinum relic across every Cash Banooca game and complete Crash 4 100 percent**
106%*
He gives up on his sanity easily for the sake of pleasing the almighty Banooca.
“I give up easily”
*literally drives for 6 hours in search of a bootleg Cash Bankooka gambling machine*
Well, he might not be very stubborn
But he is extremely stubborn
Hey, you gotta draw a line somewhere
11:26
“DOCTOR CORTEKS KIDNAPPES THE CREAM GIRL - THEIONI,
in order for the cream to fill HIS ELOVIE”
The part that got me wasn’t just how unintentionally dirty it sounds, but also the fact that it somehow rhymes
Caddicarus: yep, I don't need to see any more. Bye!
I'd fill cortex with cream
Then the game starts up, and…
*Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel music plays*
Poetry, my friend.... Poetry.
This is… This is just Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel
The fact that Caddy drove a total of 6 hours just to film a bit, even if he didn't succeed at what he wanted, really does show his commitment to art
Or his commitment to his favorite Orange Rat
@@KingStr0ng he did call up the pub and the person who answered him just lied for some reason
@@mmaaoorr My bad. The way that he worded it made it sound like he called up an entirely different hotel instead.
@@mmaaoorr Either lied because she didn't know what he was asking or was a Caddicarus fan and wanted to see him in person.
Indeed so
"What is the cure for aids?"
"That's not my problem."
You know, Uka Uka's right. Provided that wooden masks can't get aids
Not to mention eating fruit can make you gain weight if consumed incorrectly.
@@spongeman3090 EAT FRUIT!
@@nyancatpoptart5441 ooga booga
ok
@@BigSexyBlackMans Oh screw this fool
5:32 I can't stop giggling and I love how caddi and his camera man lost it
👁️👄👁️
WHAT’RE THOSE!?!?
@@octaviusfooks7194I was gonna ask the same thing
@@samsthebeztatstuff8885D’you think Cadds should’ve gone to Specsavers?
My man looking like Bubbles from TPB lmao
24:07 For those who are wondering, that 'oof' wasn't an edit by Caddy. That was actually in the game.
what.
Chip bag noise
The Kuras Grunt.
Roblox
Let's be honest, we all miss that noise.
Caddy: "I know that none of you will believe I drove 3 hours just for a slot machine."
Fans: "That's not even the dumbest thing you've done for a video this year."
why are there 3 comments like this in a row
@@whact top comment repost bots
He opened and broke a very rare cash banooka nokia game
@@spooderman6312 which episode was it
@@averyfields8183 portable games episode
Caddy: "The UK has more pubs than blades of grass."
Me: "And here I thought the Irish had a drinking problem."
Dude, where do you think the Irish GOT that reputation?
The Germans and Austrians can join in.
I live in a tiny village, and we have FIVE.
Eh, we do. Its just we can hold our own most the time...the uk however...well there's a reason uk police are sent abroad to manage the those on holiday with drinking problems
@@doctorflibble7484 FOOTBALL HOOLIGANS RISE UP
the intro is even funnier once you learn about the earlier take (unfortunately not recorded) where caddy scared a mother and her baby by jumping over a fence while wearing a shitty crash bandicoot costume
So Caddy’s issues towards the end of 2023 could have been related to being declared the Cash Banooca maniac and being chased by villagers with pitchforks?
@@dr.altoclef9255don’t worry he can command an army of angry bats
31:27 oh no, his queen
Oh no, *the queen*
L queen
@@ElfirozzzL Joe biden
Cause that's what thebkids are into these days... ÆEEEEE
Caddy: “the month is June”
Me: “Okay I believe you “
Lol
June 33rd
sponsity spons ball of sponsness
The "junk at the edge of the screen" thing is because you're emulating an NES game on a modern display. Devs would often use that space as a loading zone you weren't meant to see because CRTs would cut it off.
SMB3 employs a similar trick
Very cool, never knew that and just assumed it always happened in Mario 3!
To be more specific, it's only that way in specific modes. The way the system is means 2 screens could be loaded at once, either vertically or horizontally. A game like SMB1 with no verticality could use the horizontal mode and preload graphics some distance off screen. You'll see some pallette errors at the edges, but nothing extreme. Games like SMB3 had to use the vertical mode, which is why you see the garbage on the side - that area is being actively loaded as you move. Based on the footage, it looks like the NES bootleg used that vertical mode. I guess I didn't see the whole game, but it doesn't seem like you scrolled the screen up or down much in that bootleg, so it really probably would've been better to do the horizontal mode. Guess I'm thinking too much about the logistics of a bootleg, they probably just did whatever they thought was easier.
It's most apparent in Super Pitfall! for the NES. But it may not explain the anomaly of... Pitfall Gary or Pitfall Larry
Caddicarus is basically a Monty Python of video games with surreal humor and I'm into it
1:42 proof caddy is his own Nationality
I genuinely hope everyone here will find someone who supports them the way Cerys supports Caddy. Tagging along for a 6 hour road trip to find an elusive bootleg crash gambling machine is A+.
is it really spelled "cerys"? I know someone who spells is Kharis so im guessin thats how caddys woman spells it
@@ryangraham2459 At this point, I find it hilarious how people can't spell her name correctly.
The more people get her name wrong, the better it gets... Like "Cash Banooca".
@@ryangraham2459 Cerys is Welsh
Sadly, I don't think I ever will
When they married, she didn't know she was getting another child.
If anyone manages to get their hands on that “Cash Bandiloot” machine, they should send it to Caddi.
Eat fruit!
@@littlegyro8340 that’s not personal information
Cash Bandiloot deserves a subreddit, like lost media reddit.
@@dr.loboto1171 how do I lose weight?
@@SqweegeeYT Eat fruit!
17:10 huh no wonder crash doesn't talk his grammar is sh!t-
25:00 Great.. The music is mine. Made that in FL studio years ago for fun. Didn't have a clue that someone put it in that horrible abomination as a background music. I have the full length track on my channel, I guarantee it's better than the "game".
Well of course
@@Kesho8392 Well of course?..
Bootlegs will look all over the world for assets to re use tbh
Well, it’s a bootleg..
Damn they’re desperate for music if they’re looking to RUclipsrs for their main theme
5:32 When Caddy and Cerys laughed because him wearing the glasses, I found that so wholesome
Olly was the one that laughed, he was filming
It looks like his eyes got a divorce
And the fact caddy didn’t get rid of it in editing
It’s wholesome and you can’t change my mind
It HAS to be kept, after all, who wouldn't laugh seeing Googly-eyed Caddi😹😹😹
That wouldn't have been the same if he did cut off the laugh
Man, Caddy's physical comedy and comedic timing are so on point here! That phone gag must have needed so many takes to do with a straight face that quickly, absolutely brilliant!
ikr.
Does he also have a supply of fake phones for every time he smashes a phone to pieces in one of his comedy bits? That's kinda hilarious
"Okay, for this next scene, I want you to take this stack of phones, and a piece of foam, and throw them at me one at a time."
My fish died today... and you cheered me up Caddy. Thanks for being the best.
Sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve lost many pet fish and I understand how much it can hurt. Appreciate the time you had with them. I hope you have a better year! ❤
@NeowaffenAesthetics Flushing Nemo
i know the feeling, my betta fish died not too long ago. i hope you’re doing better now
@@WH250398 that's messed up in the best way possible
but seriously it is painfull to loose a pet : (
34:42 me, an american: so its just a normal short trip?
I’m not even 2 minutes in and I’ve already died laughing. This either shows how funny caddy has become, or it shows that my sense of humor’s a stupid old floppy
It's Choice A. I've never seen a video in his recent style that didn't make me laugh multiple times.
Perhaps everyone's sense of humor has become a stupid old floppy
I'm not Chinese, I'm Caddy
He's a master of humor
@@LordmonkeyTRM "Who called themselves Halalmeat?!"
“I’m not Chinese, I’m Caddi.”
Yes, you are, Caddi, and that’s why we love you.
Makes me laugh everytime and idk why
The nice likes
Eat fruit!
@@dr.loboto1171 that’s not my problem
D
7:20 the way he says “5 million suns” always cracks me up not to mention the absurd number😂
I lost it at
“How is everything here not a liquid!?”
@@buttlet2226 cool video
18:52 after finding this part this has been my favorite scene from a caddy video
5:32 I love the reaction he gave XD
Plz make another ytp. 🙏
My poor confused cat, wondering what the hell the noise I made at 5:32 was
I think that's HE - Olly.
@@dnissrs5892 Upon hearing it again yeah XD
Where can I find those glasses
5:33 Caddy and Cerys (thanks for the comments telling me how to spell her name) are usually so good and holding in laughter at all of the stupidly hilarious moments in this show, so I love how they literally just couldn't for this part. Like, how do you NOT laugh at Caddy's eyes here?
Their genuine laugh at it makes me chuckle with how his eyes look XD
@@simonzenn I don't really know who Olly is, but it may be true, it just sounds sort of like a female voice laughing there.
It’s spelt Cerys just so u know :)
😳
Cabbage and Carrot
31:20 all of Britain right now
Best way to advertise a product ever 21:37
Hello I'm Rons Willions
Not even gonna lie, 30:56 has got to be one of the most creative yet simple things I’ve ever seen that’s made me genuinely laugh
The printer has excellent comedic timing. Really carried the whole video.
i recorded it lol def meme potential
I know it was so good
30:51
Fun fact: the bootleg company sintax's games on the game boy advance have never had their Roms put online so I would recommend putting crash advance 4's rom online as that would make you apart of bootleg game history
Some of the problem is that Syntax bootlegs are really hard to rip, because for SOME reason they have some kind of anti-piracy that rom copiers get confused by (IIRC it involves misusing SRAM). So you basically need multiple rips of the same game and you have to stitch it together to work on emulators.
Well that’s gonna be difficult given that he blended his copy.
@@djdee6386 I mean the crash advance 4 which Im pretty sure he didn't ruin
Eat fruit!
You wouldn't wanna play it anyway, it controls like 𝐆 𝐀 𝐑 𝐁
5:34 I never thought I would see Caddy laugh. It's the most beatifull laugh.
4:23 without a doubt your funniest moment ever
I don't know the putin poo tin joke was some pretty high brow stuff
Can I just say I love the progression of this channel from understandably cringey teenage Caddy to eloquent hardass early 20s Caddy to batshit insane post-COVID Caddy
Eat fruit!
It’s only the most natural progression in history. We all eventually become insane people wearing straight jackets in padded rooms! And we all take the pills. Always the pills. Always the pills. Always the pills. Always the- oh sweet! A penny!
Yes and we will in the comments
@@NikFromm "takin' my pills so that I don't murder you..."
Proof of evolution.
Checkmate, creationists 😂
Caddy in December: Goes into a restaurant dressed as Jesus
Caddy in June: Drives 3 hours just for a bootleg Crash slot machine
So no change?
“But if you couldn’t tell, I’m not Chinese, I’m caddy.” @ 1:41 is such a sincere and kind line. It warms my cold damp heart. 😊
Hi caddy
8:18 made me laugh so hard that the drink i was drinking came out my nose, and i half think a small bit came out my eyelid too
I've never seen someone so full of glee sticking a fork into an electrical socket as much as Caddy here. At least he got better afterwards, kiddies. You might not.
It's not like being turned into a newt, that's for sure!
Whenever I watch Caddicarus I feel like I'm on something. I'm not quite sure what that something is, but it sure makes the time fly. It's the complete slapstick comedy that I adore in Caddicarus videos. Love it.
Maybe it's seratonin?
ok
@@Daelyah cocaine
You're on CadCane
@@tropicalbreeze1164 fr
I know there's at least one person in this world who is still wondering what was going on when he seen Caddy dressed as Crash with the leather boots on and that makes me so happy lol 😊
Actually in the original cut of the intro, which the cameraman Olly deleted in a panic, their was a mother and baby at his door posting handouts through the door or whatever
23:43 is by far the most hilarious part of this video. I sure do love the taste of couch fluff!
"That's foam not PHONE."
Why did that joke, of all of them, made me laugh the hardest?
Man, Caddi seriously went on a road trip in the hope of finding one bootleg slot machine to show on the channel. That is some serious dedication, and also a serious problem, we're all very worried about you, Caddi, this is an intervention.
Banooca fever is a serious thing
He shaved himself for a short joke during his review of Nitro Kart in the Depressing World of Bad Crash Games video.
Leave him alone, he's on the spectrum.
@@mr._ejiire dont mke stuff up
@@BigSmoke-xh5hi what if I’m not?
2:24 I would be genuinely terrified if I saw this thing running after me in the woods
25:14 he reached Shawn the sheep a home
Holy shit those magnified eyes at 5:30 absolutely killed me, I hope the rest of the video follows suit because this has been fantastic so far
Update: You're god damn right it was - Stan's Phrase also sent me
it killed everyone filming it too so I think we're all on the same page.
Even caddi broke character
Your classic blind as a bat character that wears those type of glasses but has tiny eyes
Stan’s Phrase is actually a quote from the podcast “My Brother, My Brother, and Me”.
Caddy: “You are probably thinking I would never drive 3+ hours just for a joke.”
Me: “It’s Bandicoot Month. Rules and logic stop applying during Bandicoot Month.”
Rules and logic don't apply to Caddicarus period.
@@TheQuashingoftheTub both statements are true.
Anything is possible in bandicoot land! *ascends into the heavens*
there's no logic in Caddy's video
The moment he said that i just cracked the worst shit eating grin instantly
A angry shoe and HUMPTY DUMPY WITH A SHOTGUN- 😂😂😂😂
"Who call themself halalmeat?"
For one, you. 🤣
"Who called themselves halalmeat?!"
"Hello, Caddy!"
"Oh cripes, it's my evil twin brother Baddy!!"
"Don't tell me to start huffing and puffing, ill start hissing and pissing" -Caddicarus 2022 Best quote from Caddi to date xD
Eat fruit!
*Don’t start huffin and puffin*
I like to imagine caddi saw those jeweler glasses and immediately said “I can use these for something”
I believe that his train of though was exactly that. But he prolly saw those glasses on someone's face when that happened and had a laughing fit.
Just like I and Olly did.
1:34 I want to find this Crash vs SpongeBob bootleg out of morbid curiosity
16:16 is quite possibly my favorite little skit from Caddy and that says a lot. It makes me laugh every single time, especially at the end.
Finally someone agrees with me! XD
24:36 even when I know Caddy will subvert my expectations he still gets me. He is pure chaos.
Eat fruit!
5:29 You know Caddy loves making videos when he can’t hold in his laughter during recording 👏👏
When a blooper makes the video
Or is all of his videos just blooper takes?
This got me every time in the takes. That one is actually the first take and I hadn't seen Caddy with the glasses on until then! It was too funny!
@@OllyRoss clearly the best take
The glasses were funny
4:00 Pretty sure that Chicken is a Digimon.
I can confirm this, it looks a lot like Cockatrimon.
@xrybl45tx12 I've only heard the Japanese name, which is hard to remember as an English speaker, so I'll take your word for it, because that's basically its moveset.
Can’t help but love that caddy got so close to me, dude was in Barnsley EVEN SHOWED A SIGN THAT SAID WAKEY AND WENT TO A SERVICE STATION I WENT TO MULTIPLE TIMES plus a hotel which I’ve been to like 2-3 times when going abroad 😂😂
Caddy is like a fusion of the comedy of Monty Python and the chaotic surrealism of Wonder Showzen/Tim and Eric
@message me @⁺⓵⓹⓪⓷⓷⓼⓽⓪⓺⓪⓺ no one cares
Got to check out those shows now
As if Monty Python wasn't already surreal.
And just a pinch of bath salts for good measure.
Eat fruit!
Caddy's humour is basically shitty meme humour but timeless and actually good
What's funny is during the whole video he's talking about crash bandicoot but one part in the video there's a clip of mike Tysons punch out
Some ppl will take that offensively and some wont
Luckily I'm not one of those ppl
3:22 oh no
How much “coming” did cortex have to accomplish to cover the ENTIRE WORLD in blood???
27:46 got my dying for some reason🤣
5:32 I have found my favorite blooper-esque moment in just about all of Caddy's videos. He finally gets so goofy that he makes himself and the cameraman go off script and wheeze of laughter XD
Other than the driving sequence at 34:56 of course
19:50 had me dying of laughter for some reason
It’s the peaslmen
34:57 Caddy Daddy cleaning his son
Impressed how Caddy is still hilarious after all these years
DO NOT POST ANY REPLY! DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT TIMEBUCKS OR I WILL REJECT YOUR SUBMISSION
I think he’s scraping the bottom of the “Crash Bandicoot barrel” if the second half of the video was random junk that has nothing to do with him. 😂
i dont know, dude. I know humor is subjective and completely personal but to me the hyphen jokes in the first five minutes fell flat instantly and were infinitely more grating than they were funny. his humor hasn't seemed to evolve whatsoever, so if yours hasn't either then he's absolutely hilarious! I grew up however and barely found myself even smirking at any of the jokes, just thinking "wow i'm really not 13 years old anymore huh"
@@asterthehedgehog6861 I mean we’re talking about the same person who literally dresses up as Jesus Christ, managed to accurately behave like a hobo in that Xbox motion controller video, managed to sound like a Gen Z Monty Python for at least at the goddamn start of his content, casually jumped into a acidic substance ((totally real)) and that one moment where he ends up cosplaying as an FBI employee and cosplayed too many random characters so what do you expect?
Ah yes, people talking about how our humor already devolved faster than how many rule 34 artworks of Sonic the hedgehog have occurred
21:03 That’s not a machine gun, that’s Crash with his Ringo Bazooka.
*I LIKE CHILDREN*
Props to Caddy taking a rotary phone to the chest like that. What a trooper.
17:20 this is a hint that Crash’s next game will involve stealing peoples information online
Well that didn't age quite so well
7:56
Often I wonder how your creative process works
Like
How do write the line "gimme five" and think "ah I know, I'll have 5 mini me's on each finger"
Pure comedic genius
Eat fruit!
Drugs
Its easy!
Give, me five
That’s not my problem
Anything is possible if you try!
28:47 That thing is beyond disturbing...
It’s a Silent Hill enemy
Aahahaahaah NO
3:26 is a frame of Shin Getter-1's Stoner Sunshine I think?? Amazing how Getter pervades even the furthest reaches of culture
I was right. I think that wax Shin Getter Robo, thay didn't even try to hide it is just Shin Getter Robo with Cortex head badly edited on it. This is both dumb and funny. But also question why thay choose that Getter Robo.
*I ‘ M C O M M I-*
*N G*
It is 1000% A frame of Shin Getter 1 doing Stoner Sunshine.
"I'm commi-
ng" - Dr. Professor Saotome "Neo" Cortex
20:09 At first when he said "Zombies Run" I thought he was talking about the genuinely high-quality audiobook/workout app of the same name (which is basically an app to encourage you to go on on a run that has stories where you're the main character in a zombie apocalypse which you can only play if you're running/moving around).
I was very confused. But then quickly reassured when i saw it was something completely different lmao
16:45 the Bouns Rounds get shorter every time but yet they're somehow always funnier than the previous one
I think this was the best one lmfao
That's where the comedy lies
I love how he's basically becoming an even more absurd version of AVGN.
AVGN uses childish, immature American toilet humor, while Caddy uses childish, immature British loo humor.
@@nujevad28 So, British AVGN?
Whats avgn?
@@QuarterAliveAngry Video Game Nerd.
@@QuarterAlive Angry Video Game Nerd. The RUclipsr.
30:49-30:56 has got to be my favorite caddy moment ever!😂
1:41 Caddy is his own nationality?
*I KNEW IT!* 😁
This was surprisingly sooner than I expected. Nice job, Cad the Chad. I personally don’t care how long it takes for these videos to release, as long as they actually release.
Cads Chadooca
@@ShibuNub3305 Even better!!
Personally don't mind if he took a month or two off.
RUclipsrs do need time off, especially if they managed to scrape their knuckles that badly.
30:52 My favourite joke in the whole video. Thank you Caddy for putting in some much effort for these batshit insane videos
I was expecting it but I wasn't ready for it
4:17 *Now This A Story All About How I Caught Ebola And Then I Die :D*
5:32 when caddi finds out he hit 1million subs 👀
22:42 This joke was too good. Caddy, you are a legend.
What was the second one she through
32:12 Caddy gets Kidnapped by Baby
Hog Caddy
The baby got back from the dead and wanted to drag Caddy to hell.
More like *mannapping*
My fave caddy moment!
15:05
Aww this version of him is cute. He looks like a baby bandicoot.
25:45 I literally died laughing at this the glitchy bass boost and then it immediately crashing is just funny 😭
Get you a girl who will accompany you to a 6 hours road trip just for some obscure bootleg of the orange rat. Cerys is the GOAT.
24:10 Believe it or not, I did know that!
Hi Zebra
Good job!
I REMEMBER YOU FROM YEARS AND YEARS AGO WATCHING YOUR STUFF ON AMAZON PRIME, SUBBED
You have unlocked ancient memories for GW2 bro
27:15
EAT FRUIT
IAN HERE!!! 26:46 That was the most funniest thing that I could ever seen in a Crash bandicoot game ever!!!
5:39 I'm genuinely surprised caddy didn't get the opportunity to say, Cash Banooka with a bazooka.🤣
Cash Bazooka
@@PentaCrab LMAO!
I absolutely love the little character break at 5:33
That hissing and pissing line caught me off guard. I'm definitely gonna start using that one.
8:43
Personal garb button
Ģ Â Ŕ B
@@prageruwu69 GARB moment
Garb
8:45
Gorb moment
5:27 to 5:36
Surprisingly one of the most wholesome moments in this video!
5:33 - 5:35
Also this 22:42
@@ThorHanson2005
I remember when my dad tried to gas me after I gave him my phone.🥲
39:28
Spons lane
Spons: *H E L L O!*
31:25 Topical
4:21
OMG that made me laugh so hard immediately for how goofy it was😆
*NOW THIS IS THE STORY ALL ABOUT HOW I CAUGHT EBOLA AND THEN I DIED*