I'm 32 and my counselor recently said she thinks there's a good chance I'm autistic. I've scored medium or high for autistic traits on online screening sort of tests. I've been watching your videos and I relate so much with just about everything so far. But I have so many thoughts and questions. I've always felt off and different and always have tried to explain it by this or that or another thing (it's because I'm an introvert, it's because it's of my unusual childhood, it's because of my health problems, it's because of my personality, I'm just sensitive, or maybe I don't try hard enough). But autism NEVER crossed my mind. I didn't think this is what autism was. After so many years, it feels dramatic maybe to even consider that I'm autistic. But in my heart, I know it fits. But...all these things feel so normal to me. Are other people really not like that inside? I want to pursue an official diagnosis (or non-diagnosis) if possible because it's going to drive me crazy if I don't. But also, a label (or none) won't change who I am. So even if I'm not autistic, I'm going to lean into who I am more, and start saying yes more to what helps me function instead of trying so hard to do what "I'm supposed to do" like everybody else seems to do. Especially with people close to me I'm going to start trying to be more open about how I experience life and what is helpful for me and what is not (even stuff I thought was obvious), since apparently I can't assume anymore that they experience life this way.
I was -- literally -- twice your age when I was diagnosed. In Dec. 2019, I went through hours of tests and interviews by a psychologist and I was found to be High Functioning Autistic, at 62. This was the very same _day_ the Covid 19 illness was defined by scientists. Though I've never had Covid, that's a lot to learn for a single day!
@@MomontheSpectrum Diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD in June at age 68. Good grief. Explains a lot, just wish I'd known sooner. Huge masker all my life.
Thank you for this video. I feel the same way about finally having an explanation about me that fits my life experience. A couple years ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD. As a person in my 40's, it seemed to explain so much of who I am and how I relate to the world around me. The first time I took medication for it, it was like a miracle. I finally understood how my very neurotypical wife was able to function so well. Through therapy, I was also able to learn some tools to help me manage my executive functions (or lack thereof). Still, with all of this, there were some things about me that did not fully fit. I am sensitive to textures in food and clothing, sometimes to the point of physical responses (limits what I eat and what I wear). I dislike eye contact immensely (but have learned to do it because it is expected of me). Loud noises make me feel very uncomfortable, so I have so many different types of headphones to help block things out (I especially hate fireworks). I feel the urge to stim constantly, even when on ADHD medication. I could go on and on about the things that were not fully explained by ADHD, but I finally mentioned this to my therapist, and I did a few online assessments. In each assessment, I scored high on what would be considered Aspergers (in the past) and mid to high on ASD in general. After talking with my therapist, she agreed that I am very likely on the spectrum. We talked about whether I seek a diagnosis or not, but I ultimately decided that I would not spend the time or money. I feel that knowing I am autistic is enough to guide me in learning more about how to better my life. Fortunately for me, my current therapist is actually more of a specialist in combined ADHD and ASD counseling, so she has been very helpful in adding some of the ASD elements into our sessions. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I truly know who I am, but I also realize that I have so much still to learn about how it affects me.
My son is 4 years old, nonverbal, and was diagnosed with autism support level 3 at age 2. He is a sensory seeker and does a lot of the stereotypical autistic behaviors people think of like hand flapping, spinning, and toe walking. I was diagnosed with autism at age 30 this month and I present very differently. I think part of the reason I was late diagnosed is because I grew up in Montana and a lot of the practitioners and teachers knew about autism, but had more outdated information. It's thanks to my son and autistic RUclipsrs that I found my place on the spectrum, so I really appreciate what you do and share with your videos!!
I am married to someone that we recently found out is autistic, and suddenly a lot of things made sense. You sharing these experiences and doing my best to re-educate myself and better understand and help my wife has opened my eyes to a whole mew world and I can see things and people in a new like and I am moved more to compassion and or understanding, I even want to pursue a psychology degree. Ty for having the courage to open up like this, I am a very private person and I understand the courage it takes to be open, blessings
You mentioned we should share in the comments why we think we might be autistic. ..... Here is what makes me think I am. I was reading by age 3, by age 8 I had read our family's entire set of encyclopedias for fun. (I still have them and I love looking back at all the things I highlighted in them) I remember in 5th grade people making a joke about why I always walked so fast between classes, asking me where was the fire. I just could not understand why in the world people would walk slowly to get to class when we needed to be in class before the bell rang. If the teachers moved the decks in class it would take at least a month for me to focus again. I hate change. (unless I am the one who makes the change) I can not stand my food touching, so I use a divider plate. I will eat one entire thing on the plate before moving to the next one. I did not get the whole girly thing with hair and make up, I was a bit of a tom boy. I loved books and reading and started babysitting at age 9. I would find the books the parents had on parenting and read them every single chance I could. One year our school was getting rid of old text books and they said anyone who wants some could come get them. I was one of the only kids who took as many books as I could carry in my arms and backpack. I used the books to start making lesson plans for the children I would have one day. I had no idea how to act around boys who suddenly started looking at girls differently and no longer looking at them as just a friend. I started reading all the romance books I could just so I could learn how to behave around boys. I still read them, but my reading focuses on dialog rather than the intimate parts (I skip those parts as it feels very much like a peeping Tom). My mom was always telling me things I would say was socially not appropriate. If I think of something I have to know the answer and will stop everything else so I can focus on the topic until I know everything I can about it. My family thinks I am a great researcher. Growing up my stim was snuggling with a feather pillow and rubbing the corner and slowly picking out the feathers. I planned on being buried one day with it but sadly it only lasted until my mid 30s. I would also rub the corner of a blanket but it can only be a certain type of blanket. If I do not have the blanket I tend to pick or rub or bite my lip. I am very logical, even more so than my husband. I struggle with knowing how much to say, or how much not to say. I tend to try to make friends by sharing stories that relate to stories they have shared so we can feel connected but sadly it tends to put most people off, which is not my intent at all. I hate large groups, they make me feel overwhelmed and stressed. I never know what to say or do. In my adult life, while working as a teacher, I noticed another teacher doing an activity with the kids in her class and I thought WOW that is amazing, I should do that. She was VERY offended that I copied her idea (working as a preschool teacher at the time and she made one of the play areas into a little campground.) I was taken aback as that is how I learn and I never really thought it should be something to be offended about. I know if someone copied an idea I had, I would have been flattered. When covid hit it really made me realize how predictable our lives were. One week we would take our kids to the zoo, the next would be the science museum, the next would be the children's museum, etc. I struggle to handle other people's emotions. I can handle the mild emotions, but high emotions in other people really drain me emotionally. I am in my 40s and have always felt different, like no one understands me. After reading articles and listening to many youtube videos, I really feel like I am on the spectrum.
All of this...minus the food touching. Your anecdote about the school books reminded me of the home library I created from cast-off teacher work-books that I hadn't thought about in YEARS. I had never planned to have kids, but I did plan to babysit and to become a teacher (the first I did, the latter I did not). I remember collecting the Baby Sitter's Club books specifically to learn how to baby sit, and how to socialize with my peers. I had every single one.
I once thought I was an HSP, too. There was a time only a few months ago when I thought these three things explained me: introvert, HSP, and social anxiety disorder. I was actually fairly satisfied that I understood myself. In my case, what happened was my brother's daughter got diagnosed with autism over the summer. She reminds me so much of myself. There weren't any specific behaviours that stood out that made me say, "I do that, too" -- I only knew she was like me. So, like you, like so many of us did, I obsessively researched the heck out of autism and took the online quizzes. For me, it was the autism quotient quiz that kept giving me a high score (it got harder and harder to pass that off as a fluke the more times it happened). Anyway, here we are! Soon to be pursuing official diagnosis.
HSP = Highly Sensitive People does make you autistic. See my post, autistic people cannot understand simple social situations, you can have social anxiety and still understand social situations.
When you describe not being able to communicate what's in your head and it's like you speak your own language, I can totally relate to that. I've always known I was different. I've felt like a complete alien at times wondering why I'm so cut off from my peers and stuck in a glass box trying to have a human experience. I also considered being an HSP and even have Elaine's book! Autism is literally the only thing that makes all of the pieces of me fit. And I thought masking was just a normal thing and that I was the only one struggling with it. >__
Yes, you're describing the first time I watched one of your videos, precisely. Except for the bit of wanting you to leave so I could research more. You are my main resource for research at the present time.
Are you me?!? So much of your story is like mine! I've been feeling utterly broken lately and your video gave me a little peace again. I'm not alone. ❤️ Thank you ❤️
Hi Laura! You are so not alone! This is a great community to connect with if you’re looking for support. Also check out one of my latest videos about the ASDirect online community. 💓
This is me too - college valedictorian, active in high school & college, successful - then my health went haywire. I had anxiety and dissociation, abuse from a family member that led to CPTSD, gallstones, bad reactions to every medication + treatment, alopecia, HSP, ADHD, dissociation, some ocd traits, alexithymia. Many interests - psychology obsession, art history like Hannah Gadsby. Then I was diagnosed with EDS which is a huge comorbidity and cause of chronic illness. It took bad healthcare & social media to break me and realize I was so good at masking, I was able to fit in anywhere - but not after getting extremely sick, divorced, + disabled. The cruelty, confusion, lack of support, no family, no mental health access anymore, and bullying online put me in PTSD + Selective Mutism and I thought it would kill me. I thought I could find community online but I couldn't read people or figure out who to trust through a screen. I am a little more extroverted I think because I had to be from birth, my mother treats me like her mortal enemy. It's probably a survival strategy that I'm extroverted, bc I'm equally introverted, it automatically switches if I'm around people or alone naturally.
“I just was praying for someone to understand me.” Yes. This, right here. I find myself in tears listening to so many of your videos. I have a child with autism who was diagnosed as an older child after years of fighting because he was high masking everywhere but home, and misdiagnosed as bipolar. He is now a young adult and he still struggles to be understood because he can appear “normal” to people who don’t spend a lot of time around him. I have other children who, I believe, are on the spectrum or at the very least have strong traits. I can relate to so much of what you have experienced and shared. I am also now a nurse practitioner, so I’ve worked in the healthcare field for years. I don’t know why I did not recognize myself until now. I’m 44 years old. I have PTSD and ADHD, so I think maybe it was a little more difficult to recognize because I (and others) have attributed some of my issues and traits with those diagnoses alone. I’ve taken many of the assessments listed here and elsewhere and every single one is high scoring for autism. I don’t know where I will go with this because I am in a very stressful time in my life and changes are coming so I may need to just sit with this for a while. But I want to thank you for helping me see and understand myself better through your videos. I hope you understand how important the work you are doing is. ❤
I just had my adhd/asd assessment a bit ago. I’ve suspected I’ve been autistic since I was 13 (I’m almost 29 now) when I first found out about it, I related so much and just thought “this is me”. But when I discovered it they didn’t seem to know much about autism in girls and when I would bring it up I always heard the “you’re too social” comment, I brought it up to people including my doctor and was always shut down. This past year was a year of self reflection because of covid and I finally decided to take the time for myself and pursue a diagnosis. I have a 5 year old daughter and so many of my issues (sensory, social, time management, emotional regulation, etc) all really came back to the surface when she was born and reminded me of why I feel I’m on the spectrum. The unpredictability of kids and the responsibilities of adulthood make me see how much I’m struggling and that I’m really not like everyone else. I’m glad I finally got an assessment but now I’m in the horrible waiting part and won’t have answers for another month. I’m scared I’ll find out I’m not on the spectrum and that I won’t have any answers and just feel like I still suck at life and I’m also scared that I’ll finally get the answers I’ve been looking for but people still won’t believe me and I’ll still be having to explain myself and defend myself even with a diagnosis. Sorry for such a long ramble, waiting is hard, my follow up appointment can’t get here soon enough!
I felt VERY similar feelings in the waiting period, as well. Hang in there. If it comes back with no ASD diagnosis and you still feel like it's a good fit for you, don't give up. You can take some time to gain new perspective, maybe write up more about your experiences and find another provider to share it with. It seems like you resonate deeply with the diagnosis so I hope you find someone who sees what you see. And in terms of defending yourself, I understand that sentiment too and I feel it regularly. I try to remind myself to focus on the light and peace it creates within me to understand myself better.
@@MomontheSpectrum thank you, I appreciate it! And yes I think if I do get a diagnosis it will be so wonderful to have a reason behind the struggles and why I am the way I am both negative and positive. It will help me understand myself better and help me learn ways to set up life in a way that works well for me. Thank you for making the videos you do, there are so many out there for parenting kids on the spectrum but not much for what it’s like as a parent who is on the spectrum, I enjoy and relate to your perspective on these things and am excited to see what else you do with this channel.
34, diagnosed as subclinical spectrum disorder yesterday! My story is EXACTLY like yours for school years and wondering if my brain was different than others. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 17, but I’ve always felt a little different. I couldn’t figure out why! I’m a behavior analyst and my brother was diagnosed at 7 with ASD. Like you, I’ve always gravitated you psych and behavior. 😁 Now I guess our interests make sense!
I'm speechless!! I need to take this test!! I'm 53 yrs old mom of 3 grown girls. I've been thru..geez I don't know how many counselors and doctors thru throughout my whole life since like 20 when I started Prozac. But...as a child, I was different! I knew I was and everyone else did too. I guess I use humor as a coping skill or masking as they call it, just to fit in. How to get yelled at for asking too many questions while my family is watching tv. I always did good in school it was on the honor roll and was diagnosed with everything under the Sun from OCD which I definitely had and I have borderline personality disorder. Bipolar II I quit going to counselors a long time ago cuz I felt like I wasn't getting the right answers and they didn't understand me. But watching you Taylor you hit the nail on the head!! I've never felt more understood in my whole life until I watched your video just now! I too I'm going to go on the internet and find every test and more information I can about this. I'm sure my mom and kids will think I'm being a hypochondriac but that's okay because this new understanding about what's wrong with me is for me and not them! I wish I could give you a hug!! THANK YOU!!
I think I’m autistic for a number of reasons, and I also think I have adhd. But, when I was watching your video, I practically went through the exact same things you did during your conversation with your colleague. You mentioned that your colleagues daughter “copied and pastes” in social situations and I perked up, and then you said you perked up, because something rang and resonated. As I listened and things began to connect in my head and make sense for a first time in a long time, my mind started half listening and rapidly applying this new information to all the recent social interactions I could remember. And then you started talking about half listening while you started thinking about all the things you needed to research after your conversation. That made me laugh, but wow, did I need this video today. I’ve been having a hard time figuring out what my brain is doing and why it feels like it’s always doing so much and why it’s always done that. I think, because of your videos, I’m starting to understand why. Thank you.
Man...I have really been pouring through your content since I discovered you. I am 31 and have dealth with (what felt like) random diagnoses since my early college days. None of it has really fit, and meanwhile I've exhausted myself trying to keep pace with my "successful" career and personal life. So much of what you talk about with regard to your experience hits home for me. You've inspired me to seek a consultation for ASD, and I am lucky enough to live in CO so I can connect with Laura. Thanks for sharing your story here, and for continuing to upload such helpful and informative content.
Its so validating that you talk about being in leadership positions and having social life etc because i feel like i couldnt possibly be autistic but i do relate SO MUCH to autism and almost everything seems to - add up to explain my experiences. I have always known i am different but i couldnt know why. This is really really helpful, Thank you
A treatment team I had sent me for an evaluation when I was in my 20s. I got my diagnosis then. I just took the tests from the Embrace website which all confirmed what I already knew. Watching your videos also confirms it for me. I find it interesting that I somehow can accept & identify with being autistic but also find myself overthinking, questioning if somehow I'm not actually autistic. I think this is partly due to my late diagnosis & also because it all feels so normal to me, so it's easy to feel like maybe I am normal. Anyways, I have been binging your videos lately & it has been incredibly wonderful. Thank you for what you do!
I just fell down your rabbit hole. I’m a bit ashamed because there was a time in my life when I was a denier about autism in general and hated labeling people. Now as I’m struggling more in my life with my increased responsibilities as a mom of now 4 kids and a brick & mortar business I’m seeking help and with that labels in an attempt to find a way to manage my life. I’ve been told in the past I have ADHD and I strongly relate and I’m working with a therapist & specialist. But the thought of the ASD label felt so wrong I refused to even consider it. Tonight after a weird day I decided to watch a suggested video from your channel, then I took the Aspie Quiz ( 134/200 ASD 92/200 NT) and Autism Quotient (34/50) soooooo… now I’m more open & trying not to go too far down the hole tonight but plan to talk to my therapist about it. I also have struggled with autoimmune issues most of my life including alopecia. I would be interested in hearing more about that correlation as I know for me stress levels & loss of hair are HIGHLY correlated. Thank you for sharing your journey.
i think i may be autistic because of a million reasons. Everyone’s life is complicated but i also had a sense that i was way more sensitive to certain things than others around me. i also think since everyone’s sensory issues present differently, i chalked it up to me being “picky” or “emotional”. Looking back at the meltdown over seamed socks and how i would be so picky over my clothes and shoes. how changes in my life and environment sent me into full blown anxiety attacks. how i always had severe social anxiety and constant worry over my “performance”. How i NEEDED alone time to feel human. how friendships always seemed like a giant source of anxiety and obsession. I have a lot of tangled up emotions and thoughts when it comes to socializing that cannot be simplified here but i think you all know exactly the feeling. I also have hyperlexia and dyscalculia. words make so much sense but math never penetrated. i always felt like my true self would be completely useless or unacceptable to general society because of how specific and complex my brain is. i always have to make changes based on where i am to make others comfortable vs myself. it’s a weird experience.
"I read the entire internet" HAHA I can relate. I believe when they said "copy and paste" behavior, they were talking about masking. Is that right? Here are some reasons I think I'm on the spectrum: Attention issues (difficulty listening to stories or switching attention, can focus on something creative for hours) Brief, intense interests Obsessive thoughts and behavior Forgetting past events / general forgetfulness Inability to lie convincingly Inability to relax / restlessness Difficulty with chores and habits Aversion to anything messy / washing hands compulsively (not germophobia) Palilalia [complex vocal tic] (repeating phrases to myself) Blinking tic Fiddling hands tic Eye contact issues Smiling at inappropriate times (such as when I share a shocking piece of news, even something negative) Difficulty keeping and maintaining friendships Excruciating small talk Masking-type behavior Strong love of movies & video games Preoccupation with making lists / categorizing things Prone to perfectionism Prone to micromanagement Prone to addiction
Hi. I'm a 68 year old divorced male with ADHD+Asperger's (I'm still going to call it Asperger's because I like the way it sounds. Kind of like ass burgers.) 😀 I was diagnosed with ADHD about 30 years ago, took Adderal and that helped me even out my energy. But despite the fact that my doc spent years with me, and saw lots of other asterisks (ADHD plus ODD, OCD, narcissism, dyslexia, etc.) he never once suggested that I get tested for Asperger's. (He did say that since I'd managed to get through grad school the test for dyslexia was really not necessary.) That was a whopper of a mistake. I literally have been handing out "Asperger's Honesty" my entire life. I have been confrontational, smart (I somehow managed to get a master's in social work.), and socially awkward. I've never been comfortable with chit-chat. My typical conversation starter would probably be like: "What kind of music do you like?"Are you more religious or more spiritual?"What do you think the purpose of life is all about and do you believe in reincarnation and soul mates"? So for me, to discover the latent Asperger's was like hitting the Lotto. EVERY SINGLE EVENT in my life that went "off the rails" is directly related to the Asperger's. One example: I was 5 years old. I was on Romper Room. It was in 1960. It was National Fire Prevention week. Miss Nancy happened to mention that every time a fire engine is dispatched an ambulance accompanies it, just in case. (Better to have it and not need it vs needing it and not having it.) I was curious, in my little Asperger's brain: "I wonder which comes first; the fire engine, or the ambulance.) At the time I lived in the city and there were emergency call boxes on some street corners. I walked out the front door, walked across the street, up the the corner, shimmied up the pole like a Koala bear, struck the glass, and summoned the fire engines. When the fireman, who was pissed, asked me why I did it, I told him: "I wanted to see which came first, the first engine, or the ambulance." He was still pissed, but mildly amused. (According to my mother's account.) I had no malice whatsoever; I was just Asperger's Curious. Now to be clear...I'm not blaming the Asperger's for my behavior; I'm just connecting the dots is all. And it was a relief to finally be able to describe what I've been experiencing my entire life. (I used to write is off with things like: "I'm left-handed". "I have a peculiar sense of humor". "I'm more of an acquired taste", Etc.) At this point, I feel more settled and satisfied and joyous than at any other point, even though I haven't gone through the "official" dx process. I don't need it. I know exactly who I am and who I've always been. I think that part of the reason the Asperger's revealed itself now is because I started watching some underground comedy videos that kept talking about "Asperger's Truth", over and over again. So I started going back through my life and it's nothing BUT Asperger's Honesty events. (Most ending poorly, as to be expected. But rarely a dull moment.) Eventually, I concluded that the reason there were so many such events is because I have Asperger's. (Some of my insights border on psychic, while others miss by a country mile.) And on the plus side...the world is SO crazy now (billionaires buying Supreme Court justices, rogue cruel governors moving migrants all over the country like they were chattel property, a treasonous ex-President running for office to protect him from his criminality, etc.) that I have trouble taking life seriously. And that really opened the door for me to accept life on MY terms now. I'm done buying into any more BS. And towards that end...watching some Alan Watts videos has really helped me to focus on an old Hindu take on life: "It's a grand game. It's all just Brahma playing hide and seek with himself. It's a mistake to take life too seriously. Being more serious is not being more responsible. That's just a lie we're fed to control us". That struck a chord in me. Like the Sufi masters, who believe dancing is the best way to be in this world. Thanks for your video and for continuing to present helpful Autism info!! Peace.
Just recently discovered your channel and your experience definitely resonates with what I've been realizing over the past few months. Got laid off in May and that kinda of forced me to self-reflect (both in terms of career path and overall mental state.) Been on meds for depression and anxiety for a few years now but it still feels like there's a missing piece to my mental puzzle. Right now the biggest thing holding me back from an official diagnosis is the health insurance factor - but it's something I plan to seek out once I've got good coverage again. Thank you for the excellent content!
Commenting on this video posted two years ago lol - but I am 41 years old and never once considered I might be autistic until recently where my marriage was challenged and sort of turned on its head. Someone I'd recently met asked my husband if I was autistic, and I brushed it off as my idea of autism was that "typically fully disabled and needing assistance" type of scenario, I didn't know much about it. That remark from a family friend was tossed aside until maybe a week or two later RUclips suggested one of your videos, and I watched it and realized pretty much every sign was there! I've always knew I was different, I was never very social, always had special interests, the same now as when I was a kid etc. I mean I could go on and on and on. I spoke to my therapist about it, and while my therapist doesn't specialize in autism and cant give me a diagnoses, he thought I was on to something. I'm considering seeking an official diagnoses but I still go back and forth with that imposter syndrome of..."how can I be autistic when I can ..blah blah blah?" and wonder if I'm just reaching for straws..... until I do something autistic and I ask myself "what other explanation is there!?" The more I think about my life the more mad I get about all the comments and judgments Ive gotten from adults and peers about why I don't do "normal" social behaviors, as if to assume I am not happy being a loner ...or it must mean I'm depressed when I'm not, because I don't fit into their idea of normal. If I fail that diagnoses test, then why am I this way? I dunno.
Hi Tay! I found your channel about a week ago and ever since, I just can't stop watching your videos! So such of what you said in this and other videos resonates for me... Like you and so many others in these comments, I've spent the majority of my life trying to figure myself out because I always have felt SO different. I've had severe depression and anxiety for most of my life and I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school. I've considered myself an HSP for a long time (I think I read Elaine Aron's book when I was about 20), in addition to having excoriation disorder, emetophobia, misophonia, impulse control issues, adjustment disorder and auditory and tactile sensory issues. After I watched your video on female/AFAB autistic traits, I had MY lightbulb moment. 💡🙂Suddenly, alllll these issues I've had my entire life are starting to line up and make more sense to me. Thank you SO SO SO much for all the work you do!!!
Thank you so much for your comment! My experience has been similar in that I had so many labels thrown at me and then when I learned more about autism it was like I could take the first deep breath of my life. It made sense of all the things. Glad you’re here!
Oh Em Gee! I totally relate. As a middle aged female, I share many similarities with your experience. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar, but that didn't fit and neither did all the meds they gave me for it. Later found out I wasn't bipolar. Have always felt different but couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with me. ASD came on my radar through a YT channel and I started researching it. Did all the online tests. Listened to more YT vids, joined FB groups. Found I finally found where I fit. I did get official testing but because I couldn't remember a lot from childhood at that time, even though I had many autistic traits, they wouldn't give me that diagnosis. So I fell through the cracks once again. But I know in my heart that I am (autistic). It feels like Home. Just because a doctor can't figure it out, doesn't invalidate me. I know myself more than they do in a couple visits. My sel-discovery has changed how I see myself in a good way, although, because of the lack of the psychiatric support, I still feel like a fake. But I still know this is who I am. It's a personal, inner journey and it's only helping me heal as I learn more. ❤ Thank you.
I'm 44 and got my diagnosis now. I was not social in school but also went through with high grades. My family are all very high paced and to them nothing is impossible. Just bite down and push through. I have ofc used this venue and got very far academically. However it came with a high pricetag. I always knew that my experience of life was different and also looked everywhere for an explanation. For a long time now I had the diagnosis bipolar type 2 (recurring depression no manic episodes). After the autism diagnosis they are thinking of taking it away since medication have not worked. Thank you for the videos and sharing with the world.
You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing your experience here! It sounds very similar to mine. My family’s motto was “I can. I will. I do.” It helped me accomplish a lot of things but I didn’t know how badly I needed to recover from burnout. I still feel like I’m constantly recovering!
I absolutely overthink and copy and paste. I have always felt different, I have impostor syndrome. But at 64 and because of the cost I will not be trying to get a diagnosis. My stim is picking the skin near my nails until they are red and sometimes bleed. I find it difficult with eye contact but also overstare sometimes. My children were on the spectrum, but as a female, I feel that I would never have been believed. I have struggled my whole life but your videos are really helpful. Btw I love psychology too and am always researching.
Thank you for sharing! Your story is soooo similar to my story! It’s honestly kinda freaking me out! Im even 31! Ha! But I am at the part of the journey where I am just now plunging into my internet research of autism in adult females. Thank you so much for your work and willingness to be vulnerable in this channel! I’ll definitely be watching! ❤️
Thanks so much for your comment! I know the place you're in comes with a lot of questions and self reflection. Happy to do my best to answer any questions that come up or provide additional resources. Just let me know! Thanks for watching.
Thanks so much for your comment. Definitely familiar with that phrase! Please let me know if there are any other resources or videos I can share that might be helpful to you.
@@MomontheSpectrum Thanks a bunch for your kind answer. Well, getting down to the nitty gritty , It'd be superb if you could make a video in the near future about what you learnt from this Pandemic , and how you believe the world will be ( a much more individualistic approach or maybe a society which is closer to a European Model based on a more collective life ) in a nutshell ,a Welfare State. As someone who's on the spectrum, that doubt has been turning round my head , moving itself from one place to the other like a pinball game. :)
6:59 "Lightbulb moment", "I felt it in my soul" Yep, as weird as it might sounds when we try explaining it, that's exactly how it feels to realize you're autistic. That realization is so profound and life-changing that I personally don't feel the need at all to pursue an official diagnostic (I've had an expert in the field confirm my suspicions though, he said I perfectly fit the 'undiagnosed adult with ASD' mold)
Omg I’m 21 and every time I watch one of your videos I feel like we are the same person. I relate to everything that you said. Please pray for me I’m about to get an assessment done hopefully very soon. Question: how do you manage meltdowns?
Hi Monet! Thanks for your comment. Sending good vibes as you near your assessment date. I hope everything goes smoothly. And as far as meltdowns go, I wrote something called the Meltdown Survival Guide that might be helpful to you. You can find it here: taylorheaton.gumroad.com/l/meltdownsurvivalguide
Everything is so wow! I am dyslexic and have dicalulia, ADD/Adhd, depression and a ton of paranoia not to mention autistic. I don't see any of it as a detriment. I have always masked and it has never been hard. I am a male but the only place I unmask is alone around my very large dog. Mia is my chocolate lab child. My favorite stem is messing with my dog. There are a lot of stems.
I've recently kindof woken up to the idea that I'm on the spectrum... I do the clicking of the teeth too.. constantly clear my throat, adhd diagnosis as a kid, never wanted to do homework but always scored really well on exams, acceled in band, very high mechanical aptitude, constantly singing or making noises, sometimes I catch myself just counting in my head for no reason whatsoever, unconventional sense of humor, some social anxieties... the list goes on. I'm also 31 and it's so weird to be thinking about all of this.. thanks for sharing your story and posting plenty of videos
You're very welcome. Thanks for taking the time to comment, Brock. Of course the first thing I took away from your comment is that you were in band. What's your instrument? And you're right, navigating this as an adult is weird! Also I count a lot, too. Usually objects.
I'm a tuba player! Started on trombone and switched in high school... didn't you see my profile image!? 😁 I bought my first concert tuba a year and a half ago and was able to join up with two community bands which has been great! Minus the pandemic of course.. first rehearsal back is this Monday night and I'm excited! Thanks so much for responding 🤙🤙
@@brockseeman7808 Oh my gosh your profile image!! haha i'm sorry. I'm wearing my glasses and the profile image is verrrrry small. Just enlarged it and can clearly see your beautiful tuba! So jealous you found some community bands to participate in. I miss playing!!!
@@MomontheSpectrum it had been almost a decade since I played, other than a couple tuba Christmases, so it's really been wonderful, I have a few guitar videos on my page and plan to get more up very soon, maybe some day I'll do a tuba video... sucks that you haven't been able to find a band in your area 😕 I hope your career change and job hunt is going well! I'm sure you'll land on something great very soon
There are people with autism who are seriously disabled or overcome huge obstacles and spend years of their childhood in special classes or ABA therapy and they are constantly being overshadowed by accounts like this and people who admit they do not suffer serious dysfunction. 💔
I haven't been diagnosed (yet) and my results on the online quizzes/ tests are confusing. I've been thinking about what I do that might be thought of as stimming. I used to twist my feet/ ankles a lot. I remember being scolded for doing it in church as a child, and my ex-husband joked that my foot was going to come unscrewed and fall off. I don't do it any more, and as a consequence, my ankles are stiff, so now I've been trying to do it! I attributed it to restless leg syndrome (RLS), which is associated with fibromyalgia, which I also have. I have a high IQ, and lots of academic success, but never have been successful in standard job interviews.
I definitely think I'm autistic. I can't make eye contact. I used to be able to but this pandemic has been hard on me. Seeing people wear masks gives me major anxiety. I have depression, anxiety, and definitely selective mutism. I find that if it is a difficult topic or I'm upset I can't speak. Like the words won't come out. It's like a wall goes up or something. I've not been diagnosed by a professional though. Also growing up I definitely had special interests. I remember making a folder of all things Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. I knew everything possible about them. And now I could tell you anything to do with certain pokemon stuff.
I love the Mary kate and Ashley special interest!! 💓😁 sounds like you have an important understanding of yourself in this area. Let me know if you have suggestions for future videos that may be helpful!
Hey Tay! So last night I saw your suggestion for the aspie quiz and I took it since im still researching this huge, wonderfulnew world. I scored 134/200, which said "very likely". My therapist went over the dsm5 criteria with me a m d it doesn't seem like it's very up to date on new possibilities. Yet, that's their main guide? I've also taken a few AQ tests and scored "highly likely" or similar on each.
omg, i just found your channel this morning-have had an asd diagnosis for about 8 months now (diagnosed at 30yrs, after my son was diagnosed at 4yrs) the overlapping life-check-marks between my, my wife’s and your story are astounding… history of anxiety, history in evangelical christianity (and then leaving), married my highschool sweetheart-met when we were 16yrs. now my wife just received an adhd diagnosis and is wondering if she’s also autistic! and i’m sure there are more relatable intersections… very cool to hear your story!!
I feel like i managed really well in college, but i basically didnt socialize much in class and really at all outside of classes. Besides my roommates i didnt go to parties, join teams or do anything club wise really. I basically stayed home and did school work or relaxed in my own space. If I'd had to work or do a bunch of socializing I likely wouldnt have made it through university.
I just took the quiz and said that I am very likely to be on the spectrum. I also am traveling an hour away from where I live for my final assessment. I am very nervous, because although I have face timed the woman who is assessing me, I haven't actually met her in person yet. I am nervous because I don't want to mess up and I want to be able to communicate everything to her.
@@MomontheSpectrum okay, thank you. I'll look at it. My appointment was very intense and I have a bit of a head ache, but it went well. She told me that I am a classic autistic adult and she will schedule an appointment with me and my husband next week and explain everything more
so far I share the vast majority of things that yourself and other level 1's talk anout on youtube, through one of your videos i learned of the AQ test and Aspie quiz, i took each, scored 40 on the AQ and 130 on the Aspie and it said I was 96% probability on the my Aspie results
Can I ask what you feel the benefit of an official diagnosis is? I am almost 50, so school support and modifications would not apply. As an adult with an established career and a marriage and kids, is there any tangible benefit other than feeling vindicated? Wondering if it is worth the hassle and time investment to pursue a diagnosis. Thanks.
Growing up I had issues with speech, didn't fit in or feel comfortable with kids my age I prefered the company of adults mainly grandparents. I couldnt stand looking people in the eye still can't but learned to do it. I has stems such as picking at my skin, nails and more. Severe irritable bowl, depression and anxiety has really been a life long struggle, i dont do large social events. As a kid i was a very picky eater due to texture and still have textures i just cant do ie grapes and berrys and no jello period. I dont like being toughed lightly and tickling insights anger. I have a hard time with high pitched noises and loud anything. Hyper imagination least to say i love horror movies but ill be awake for hours and cant do the dark. The list goes on i was about 24 when a counselor i was seeing said she thought i was on the spectrum and asked if i would want to get diagnosed. I didnt need the diagnosis everything just klicked and made me feel relief to feel vilified. I felt able to breath. I'll be 30 this year just had my first baby and i hope to learn from your journey to apply to my own
I don't yet have a diagnosis because I can't afford an assessment. How do I talk to my mom (I'm 45; she's 70) about what my childhood was like? Knowing if I had autistic traits as a child would help me with diagnosis. And I don't remember enough of my childhood for it to be useful. A conversation about childhood symptoms/characteristics may also help rule out or diagnose BPD and C-PTSD. I can't find a single video on how to talk to your parents about this. What do I ask? What do I need to know? How do I approach them without freaking them out that they were a bad parent?
How did you meet the DSM criteria for number 1 if you haven’t had the social difficulties? Or maybe you have! I’m so interested in learning because it helps me. I’m 39 and have suspected I’m autistic for about five years, and it was confirmed yesterday. So I’m feeling pretty weird but keen to hear about other women’s autistic profiles ❤
Hello. My mother in law just told me that my husband is autistic and that she never told him. He is 48 years old. We have had terrible marital issues and are on the brink of divorce. Very complicated story but I am looking for help and a way to get him to understand that we need help with his autism so we can understand each other better and communicate better but he is completely refusing and thinks the counselor we are going to can help us but she does not have any knowledge of autism or some of my issues like trauma. Any suggestions? I've only known this for a week and your videos have been EXTREMELY helpful and have explained so much of what has Been happening the last few years!
Hey! Just found your channel and watched this and a few other videos, thanks for your sharing your story and for your service, very useful :) I'll take a shot in the dark here and try to guess your Human Design profile based on this video alone - feels like you're some kind of projector (I wanna say Self-projected like me), maybe a 4/6 profile. Curious what it really is, hopefully we can find out :D Take care
That's how I feel. The only difference I don't have a lot of friends. I have maybe 4 friends. My panic attacks started when I was 15 but I always struggled. I don't have a official diagnosis. I do have a friend that is also autistic and she noticed the patterns in my behavior. I'm 39. All the free test they have are all in the markers for aspergers. My fiance has a daughter that has aspergers and he sees the similarities in me.
Do you think in flat or 4K video? That’s something that’s blown my mind recently other people don’t think in full images 🤯 I’m 47 just thought I was broken, friends don’t stick even though I put so much into trying to build rapport (maybe I’m mirroring…) I still feel miss understood and alone. My son has been diagnosed and through researching for him I feel like I’m learning about myself. My assessment is in a few days and I’m scared they will say I’m not, because I feel like I’ve an answer a way to understand so much if it’s confirmed I’m autistic x
While I am crazy noise sensitive (high pitches) I actually stim by putting music insanely loud where I can’t hear anything else and all I feel is the rhythm. I will play one song over and over and over and over… The more anxious I am the more likely I am to do this. Drown everything out and zero in on the repetition. I recently started to allow more direct fidgeting again with toys, bouncing on my feet, etc. So many years of suppressing. I’ve now gone 3 weeks without a migraine. Hmmm?
So interesting! And we are very similar in regards to music! I've busted countless speakers bc one of the most helpful things for me is to go for a drive by myself with the music as loud as it will go. I LOVE IT.
@@MomontheSpectrum I often say that when the mirrors in my car are vibrating I have the volume just right. I shake my leg back and forth so hard sometimes that my car rocks when stopped at a light.
My god, I'm bawling my eyes out over how much this resonates. I am SO scared it's not autism, but I don't know why... also, I am a man, but I suspect I present more like the "female" version. I know that's already the case for my ADHD. It's difficult for me, because I feel like a niche in a niche, which amplifies the feeling of being off. But I try to push through that, because I now I NEED to know.
People on the spectrum can talk A LOT!!!!! Especially when talking about one of their special interests. I’d encourage you to check out some of my videos on autism in females for more info on autistic characteristics.
I was getting an F in at least one class per grade period in grade school, but I was the President of the Physics Honors society in University. What’s the difference? Answer: Social Pressure I was free in college. The worst period in grade school was “free play.”
Hi Tay. Thanks for the advice about autism you provide in all your videos. Even though there is some miss information about autism that should be clarify. Psychologies, Neurologists professionals can over diagnose autism as it is one of the more complex disorders. When professionals test for autism based in questionnaires and variety of traits present in autism at different levels they can missed in the details, instead of the main feature in autism. The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) provides standardized criteria to help diagnose ASD. There some optional parts like the repetitive behavior OCD, inflexibility, hyper-fixation, hyper or hipo sensory and other that can be present or not. What professionals missed is the mandatory part in the diagnosis for autism, which is the deficit in social-emotional reciprocity, deficits in developing, maintaining, and understand relationships. You can have all common traits present in autism, if you do not have lack of social-emotional reciprocity, then you cannot be diagnose as autistic. Many youtubers and Tik Tokers are over diagnosed themselves and they maybe even have a professional diagnoses based on questionnaires that can be giving wrong diagnoses. Many of them say "I have friends" and "no social issues" to get in to a friends relationship, or even married. They say they have autism because the OCD, ADHD, fixation, over-sensory, etc, they do not realize that these traits are optional. If you do not have issues in socializing, then you are not autistic. The average autistic teen have no capability to socialize, no friends, even though their IQ can be over average. If you have social anxiety, or just nerdy, you are not autistic. In autism you lack of theory of mind of simple social situations, like the Sally-Anne Test. Now, look the other side when some kids diagnosed with autism, no friends, no social skills. When adults after multiple social skills programs like PEERS or others, they are able to learn, practice and achieve the social skills needed to start a social-emotional reciprocity relationship. As Toni Athwood mention or Elizabeth A. Laugeson, when this happen they do remove the autism diagnosis from this adults, since the mandatory trait of autism the lack of social-emotional reciprocity relationships is no longer an issue. They remove the autism diagnosis regardless of the other traits they can have. Many autistic kids takes years to achieve this point of social skills and I can ensure that they do not have the level of some autistic youtubers saying "I have friends and no major issues socializing" and "married to neurotypical", but I'm autistic because other issues that match autistic traits. Also, to the parents of autistic kids. There is a tendency to look for autistic traits in the parents of a ASD diagnosed child. This happen to all parents, saying I have all these traits and also I'm not a so good at socialization. You can have all traits, but look at the intensity. Again, If you have social anxiety or you are nerdy, but understand theory of mind, then you are not autistic. Even if your kid is autistic, your level might be not deep in lack of socialization skills to get an autism diagnosis. Basically do not fall in to the exaggeration that many parents fall when trying to point to parent traits of an autistic kid: if I'm not an expert in socialization with hundred friends and parties every day, then I should be autistic. 30% of the overall population are analytical rather than social empathy person and as a neuroscientist state in a conference, all of us have some traits of autism at some level, again this does not make us all 30% autistic. I think this is no showing respect for those who really have socializing issues , no verbal, no theory of mid, no capacity to even get one friend in a reciprocal situation.
They say the human brain has approximately 100 Billion neurons & we only use 10% (10 Billion neurons). So we have 90 Billion Neurons left to bounce our thoughts around like in a bouncing castle.🤣 Even when I'm asleep, they are still having fun.🤦♂🤦♂🤣🤣🤣
Similar except instead of getting. HELP is urgent i dk who response to help save me from my fam who i am theirs mental punching bag . can u refer me to mental health support. a group of sorts? love to hear back from u - selangorian
Hmm, you really don't seem autistic at all. I guess it is a very wide spectrum, you must be on the very high functioning and sociable end. Do you have any deficits or difficulties?
![Quando Rondo - Life Goes On [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eIf3fhMXAow/mqdefault.jpg)
![Yeat & Summrs - GO2WORK [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NEFEwfPcXRA/mqdefault.jpg)
"It's true - we ARE overthinking!" A perfect summary; it explains the entire story without spoiling all the plot points. 😂
I'm 32 and my counselor recently said she thinks there's a good chance I'm autistic. I've scored medium or high for autistic traits on online screening sort of tests. I've been watching your videos and I relate so much with just about everything so far. But I have so many thoughts and questions. I've always felt off and different and always have tried to explain it by this or that or another thing (it's because I'm an introvert, it's because it's of my unusual childhood, it's because of my health problems, it's because of my personality, I'm just sensitive, or maybe I don't try hard enough). But autism NEVER crossed my mind. I didn't think this is what autism was. After so many years, it feels dramatic maybe to even consider that I'm autistic. But in my heart, I know it fits. But...all these things feel so normal to me. Are other people really not like that inside?
I want to pursue an official diagnosis (or non-diagnosis) if possible because it's going to drive me crazy if I don't. But also, a label (or none) won't change who I am. So even if I'm not autistic, I'm going to lean into who I am more, and start saying yes more to what helps me function instead of trying so hard to do what "I'm supposed to do" like everybody else seems to do. Especially with people close to me I'm going to start trying to be more open about how I experience life and what is helpful for me and what is not (even stuff I thought was obvious), since apparently I can't assume anymore that they experience life this way.
I was -- literally -- twice your age when I was diagnosed. In Dec. 2019, I went through hours of tests and interviews by a psychologist and I was found to be High Functioning Autistic, at 62. This was the very same _day_ the Covid 19 illness was defined by scientists. Though I've never had Covid, that's a lot to learn for a single day!
Wow! That's a pretty intense day for sure!
@@MomontheSpectrum I began to hear the Autism experts say _stop masking_ on the same day the health experts said _start masking!_
@@brianarbenz7206 So fascinating!
@@brianarbenz7206 haha well said
@@MomontheSpectrum Diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD in June at age 68. Good grief. Explains a lot, just wish I'd known sooner. Huge masker all my life.
Thank you for this video. I feel the same way about finally having an explanation about me that fits my life experience. A couple years ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD. As a person in my 40's, it seemed to explain so much of who I am and how I relate to the world around me. The first time I took medication for it, it was like a miracle. I finally understood how my very neurotypical wife was able to function so well. Through therapy, I was also able to learn some tools to help me manage my executive functions (or lack thereof). Still, with all of this, there were some things about me that did not fully fit. I am sensitive to textures in food and clothing, sometimes to the point of physical responses (limits what I eat and what I wear). I dislike eye contact immensely (but have learned to do it because it is expected of me). Loud noises make me feel very uncomfortable, so I have so many different types of headphones to help block things out (I especially hate fireworks). I feel the urge to stim constantly, even when on ADHD medication. I could go on and on about the things that were not fully explained by ADHD, but I finally mentioned this to my therapist, and I did a few online assessments. In each assessment, I scored high on what would be considered Aspergers (in the past) and mid to high on ASD in general. After talking with my therapist, she agreed that I am very likely on the spectrum. We talked about whether I seek a diagnosis or not, but I ultimately decided that I would not spend the time or money. I feel that knowing I am autistic is enough to guide me in learning more about how to better my life. Fortunately for me, my current therapist is actually more of a specialist in combined ADHD and ASD counseling, so she has been very helpful in adding some of the ASD elements into our sessions. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I truly know who I am, but I also realize that I have so much still to learn about how it affects me.
Can relate so much!
Tears just came out when you said “i found my place in the world” i felt the same!
That’s so touchy 😢❤
My son is 4 years old, nonverbal, and was diagnosed with autism support level 3 at age 2. He is a sensory seeker and does a lot of the stereotypical autistic behaviors people think of like hand flapping, spinning, and toe walking. I was diagnosed with autism at age 30 this month and I present very differently. I think part of the reason I was late diagnosed is because I grew up in Montana and a lot of the practitioners and teachers knew about autism, but had more outdated information. It's thanks to my son and autistic RUclipsrs that I found my place on the spectrum, so I really appreciate what you do and share with your videos!!
My son presents very differently than I do as well! So glad more resources are becoming available to help support all of us!
I am married to someone that we recently found out is autistic, and suddenly a lot of things made sense. You sharing these experiences and doing my best to re-educate myself and better understand and help my wife has opened my eyes to a whole mew world and I can see things and people in a new like and I am moved more to compassion and or understanding, I even want to pursue a psychology degree. Ty for having the courage to open up like this, I am a very private person and I understand the courage it takes to be open, blessings
You mentioned we should share in the comments why we think we might be autistic. ..... Here is what makes me think I am. I was reading by age 3, by age 8 I had read our family's entire set of encyclopedias for fun. (I still have them and I love looking back at all the things I highlighted in them) I remember in 5th grade people making a joke about why I always walked so fast between classes, asking me where was the fire. I just could not understand why in the world people would walk slowly to get to class when we needed to be in class before the bell rang. If the teachers moved the decks in class it would take at least a month for me to focus again. I hate change. (unless I am the one who makes the change) I can not stand my food touching, so I use a divider plate. I will eat one entire thing on the plate before moving to the next one. I did not get the whole girly thing with hair and make up, I was a bit of a tom boy. I loved books and reading and started babysitting at age 9. I would find the books the parents had on parenting and read them every single chance I could. One year our school was getting rid of old text books and they said anyone who wants some could come get them. I was one of the only kids who took as many books as I could carry in my arms and backpack. I used the books to start making lesson plans for the children I would have one day. I had no idea how to act around boys who suddenly started looking at girls differently and no longer looking at them as just a friend. I started reading all the romance books I could just so I could learn how to behave around boys. I still read them, but my reading focuses on dialog rather than the intimate parts (I skip those parts as it feels very much like a peeping Tom). My mom was always telling me things I would say was socially not appropriate. If I think of something I have to know the answer and will stop everything else so I can focus on the topic until I know everything I can about it. My family thinks I am a great researcher. Growing up my stim was snuggling with a feather pillow and rubbing the corner and slowly picking out the feathers. I planned on being buried one day with it but sadly it only lasted until my mid 30s. I would also rub the corner of a blanket but it can only be a certain type of blanket. If I do not have the blanket I tend to pick or rub or bite my lip. I am very logical, even more so than my husband. I struggle with knowing how much to say, or how much not to say. I tend to try to make friends by sharing stories that relate to stories they have shared so we can feel connected but sadly it tends to put most people off, which is not my intent at all. I hate large groups, they make me feel overwhelmed and stressed. I never know what to say or do. In my adult life, while working as a teacher, I noticed another teacher doing an activity with the kids in her class and I thought WOW that is amazing, I should do that. She was VERY offended that I copied her idea (working as a preschool teacher at the time and she made one of the play areas into a little campground.) I was taken aback as that is how I learn and I never really thought it should be something to be offended about. I know if someone copied an idea I had, I would have been flattered. When covid hit it really made me realize how predictable our lives were. One week we would take our kids to the zoo, the next would be the science museum, the next would be the children's museum, etc. I struggle to handle other people's emotions. I can handle the mild emotions, but high emotions in other people really drain me emotionally. I am in my 40s and have always felt different, like no one understands me. After reading articles and listening to many youtube videos, I really feel like I am on the spectrum.
All of this...minus the food touching. Your anecdote about the school books reminded me of the home library I created from cast-off teacher work-books that I hadn't thought about in YEARS. I had never planned to have kids, but I did plan to babysit and to become a teacher (the first I did, the latter I did not). I remember collecting the Baby Sitter's Club books specifically to learn how to baby sit, and how to socialize with my peers. I had every single one.
I once thought I was an HSP, too. There was a time only a few months ago when I thought these three things explained me: introvert, HSP, and social anxiety disorder. I was actually fairly satisfied that I understood myself. In my case, what happened was my brother's daughter got diagnosed with autism over the summer. She reminds me so much of myself. There weren't any specific behaviours that stood out that made me say, "I do that, too" -- I only knew she was like me. So, like you, like so many of us did, I obsessively researched the heck out of autism and took the online quizzes. For me, it was the autism quotient quiz that kept giving me a high score (it got harder and harder to pass that off as a fluke the more times it happened). Anyway, here we are! Soon to be pursuing official diagnosis.
Sounds so similar to my journey and others who have shared here as well! So glad you're finding answers for yourself. Thanks for sharing!
HSP = Highly Sensitive People does make you autistic. See my post, autistic people cannot understand simple social situations, you can have social anxiety and still understand social situations.
When you describe not being able to communicate what's in your head and it's like you speak your own language, I can totally relate to that. I've always known I was different. I've felt like a complete alien at times wondering why I'm so cut off from my peers and stuck in a glass box trying to have a human experience. I also considered being an HSP and even have Elaine's book! Autism is literally the only thing that makes all of the pieces of me fit. And I thought masking was just a normal thing and that I was the only one struggling with it. >__
Same
Yes, you're describing the first time I watched one of your videos, precisely. Except for the bit of wanting you to leave so I could research more. You are my main resource for research at the present time.
Are you me?!? So much of your story is like mine! I've been feeling utterly broken lately and your video gave me a little peace again. I'm not alone. ❤️ Thank you ❤️
Hi Laura! You are so not alone! This is a great community to connect with if you’re looking for support. Also check out one of my latest videos about the ASDirect online community. 💓
ruclips.net/user/shortshsCW6wc01QU?feature=share
This is me too - college valedictorian, active in high school & college, successful - then my health went haywire. I had anxiety and dissociation, abuse from a family member that led to CPTSD, gallstones, bad reactions to every medication + treatment, alopecia, HSP, ADHD, dissociation, some ocd traits, alexithymia. Many interests - psychology obsession, art history like Hannah Gadsby. Then I was diagnosed with EDS which is a huge comorbidity and cause of chronic illness. It took bad healthcare & social media to break me and realize I was so good at masking, I was able to fit in anywhere - but not after getting extremely sick, divorced, + disabled. The cruelty, confusion, lack of support, no family, no mental health access anymore, and bullying online put me in PTSD + Selective Mutism and I thought it would kill me. I thought I could find community online but I couldn't read people or figure out who to trust through a screen. I am a little more extroverted I think because I had to be from birth, my mother treats me like her mortal enemy. It's probably a survival strategy that I'm extroverted, bc I'm equally introverted, it automatically switches if I'm around people or alone naturally.
“I just was praying for someone to understand me.” Yes. This, right here. I find myself in tears listening to so many of your videos.
I have a child with autism who was diagnosed as an older child after years of fighting because he was high masking everywhere but home, and misdiagnosed as bipolar. He is now a young adult and he still struggles to be understood because he can appear “normal” to people who don’t spend a lot of time around him. I have other children who, I believe, are on the spectrum or at the very least have strong traits.
I can relate to so much of what you have experienced and shared. I am also now a nurse practitioner, so I’ve worked in the healthcare field for years. I don’t know why I did not recognize myself until now.
I’m 44 years old. I have PTSD and ADHD, so I think maybe it was a little more difficult to recognize because I (and others) have attributed some of my issues and traits with those diagnoses alone. I’ve taken many of the assessments listed here and elsewhere and every single one is high scoring for autism.
I don’t know where I will go with this because I am in a very stressful time in my life and changes are coming so I may need to just sit with this for a while. But I want to thank you for helping me see and understand myself better through your videos. I hope you understand how important the work you are doing is. ❤
I just had my adhd/asd assessment a bit ago. I’ve suspected I’ve been autistic since I was 13 (I’m almost 29 now) when I first found out about it, I related so much and just thought “this is me”. But when I discovered it they didn’t seem to know much about autism in girls and when I would bring it up I always heard the “you’re too social” comment, I brought it up to people including my doctor and was always shut down. This past year was a year of self reflection because of covid and I finally decided to take the time for myself and pursue a diagnosis. I have a 5 year old daughter and so many of my issues (sensory, social, time management, emotional regulation, etc) all really came back to the surface when she was born and reminded me of why I feel I’m on the spectrum. The unpredictability of kids and the responsibilities of adulthood make me see how much I’m struggling and that I’m really not like everyone else. I’m glad I finally got an assessment but now I’m in the horrible waiting part and won’t have answers for another month. I’m scared I’ll find out I’m not on the spectrum and that I won’t have any answers and just feel like I still suck at life and I’m also scared that I’ll finally get the answers I’ve been looking for but people still won’t believe me and I’ll still be having to explain myself and defend myself even with a diagnosis. Sorry for such a long ramble, waiting is hard, my follow up appointment can’t get here soon enough!
I felt VERY similar feelings in the waiting period, as well. Hang in there. If it comes back with no ASD diagnosis and you still feel like it's a good fit for you, don't give up. You can take some time to gain new perspective, maybe write up more about your experiences and find another provider to share it with. It seems like you resonate deeply with the diagnosis so I hope you find someone who sees what you see. And in terms of defending yourself, I understand that sentiment too and I feel it regularly. I try to remind myself to focus on the light and peace it creates within me to understand myself better.
@@MomontheSpectrum thank you, I appreciate it! And yes I think if I do get a diagnosis it will be so wonderful to have a reason behind the struggles and why I am the way I am both negative and positive. It will help me understand myself better and help me learn ways to set up life in a way that works well for me. Thank you for making the videos you do, there are so many out there for parenting kids on the spectrum but not much for what it’s like as a parent who is on the spectrum, I enjoy and relate to your perspective on these things and am excited to see what else you do with this channel.
@@BeeBonzo Thanks so much for the feedback! I will plan on creating more videos specifically related to parenting soon.
@@BeeBonzo How did it go?
34, diagnosed as subclinical spectrum disorder yesterday! My story is EXACTLY like yours for school years and wondering if my brain was different than others. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 17, but I’ve always felt a little different. I couldn’t figure out why! I’m a behavior analyst and my brother was diagnosed at 7 with ASD. Like you, I’ve always gravitated you psych and behavior. 😁 Now I guess our interests make sense!
Love this ! The researching the crap out of things resonated with me sooooo much ! Thank you ❤
I'm speechless!! I need to take this test!! I'm 53 yrs old mom of 3 grown girls. I've been thru..geez I don't know how many counselors and doctors thru throughout my whole life since like 20 when I started Prozac. But...as a child, I was different! I knew I was and everyone else did too. I guess I use humor as a coping skill or masking as they call it, just to fit in. How to get yelled at for asking too many questions while my family is watching tv. I always did good in school it was on the honor roll and was diagnosed with everything under the Sun from OCD which I definitely had and I have borderline personality disorder. Bipolar II I quit going to counselors a long time ago cuz I felt like I wasn't getting the right answers and they didn't understand me. But watching you Taylor you hit the nail on the head!! I've never felt more understood in my whole life until I watched your video just now! I too I'm going to go on the internet and find every test and more information I can about this. I'm sure my mom and kids will think I'm being a hypochondriac but that's okay because this new understanding about what's wrong with me is for me and not them! I wish I could give you a hug!! THANK YOU!!
I think I’m autistic for a number of reasons, and I also think I have adhd. But, when I was watching your video, I practically went through the exact same things you did during your conversation with your colleague. You mentioned that your colleagues daughter “copied and pastes” in social situations and I perked up, and then you said you perked up, because something rang and resonated. As I listened and things began to connect in my head and make sense for a first time in a long time, my mind started half listening and rapidly applying this new information to all the recent social interactions I could remember. And then you started talking about half listening while you started thinking about all the things you needed to research after your conversation. That made me laugh, but wow, did I need this video today. I’ve been having a hard time figuring out what my brain is doing and why it feels like it’s always doing so much and why it’s always done that. I think, because of your videos, I’m starting to understand why. Thank you.
There can be overlap btwn Autism and ADHD, too. ❤
I’m going to TELL my Psychiatrist that I’m autistic. She can put it in my chart or not. It doesn’t matter, I KNOW I’m autistic. Absolute certainty.
Man...I have really been pouring through your content since I discovered you. I am 31 and have dealth with (what felt like) random diagnoses since my early college days. None of it has really fit, and meanwhile I've exhausted myself trying to keep pace with my "successful" career and personal life. So much of what you talk about with regard to your experience hits home for me. You've inspired me to seek a consultation for ASD, and I am lucky enough to live in CO so I can connect with Laura. Thanks for sharing your story here, and for continuing to upload such helpful and informative content.
You’re so welcome! Thank you so much for your comment. I’m glad you’re here!
Its so validating that you talk about being in leadership positions and having social life etc because i feel like i couldnt possibly be autistic but i do relate SO MUCH to autism and almost everything seems to - add up to explain my experiences. I have always known i am different but i couldnt know why. This is really really helpful, Thank you
You’re very welcome! Thanks so much for your comment Frances!
A treatment team I had sent me for an evaluation when I was in my 20s. I got my diagnosis then. I just took the tests from the Embrace website which all confirmed what I already knew. Watching your videos also confirms it for me. I find it interesting that I somehow can accept & identify with being autistic but also find myself overthinking, questioning if somehow I'm not actually autistic. I think this is partly due to my late diagnosis & also because it all feels so normal to me, so it's easy to feel like maybe I am normal. Anyways, I have been binging your videos lately & it has been incredibly wonderful. Thank you for what you do!
I just fell down your rabbit hole. I’m a bit ashamed because there was a time in my life when I was a denier about autism in general and hated labeling people. Now as I’m struggling more in my life with my increased responsibilities as a mom of now 4 kids and a brick & mortar business I’m seeking help and with that labels in an attempt to find a way to manage my life. I’ve been told in the past I have ADHD and I strongly relate and I’m working with a therapist & specialist. But the thought of the ASD label felt so wrong I refused to even consider it. Tonight after a weird day I decided to watch a suggested video from your channel, then I took the Aspie Quiz ( 134/200 ASD 92/200 NT) and Autism Quotient (34/50) soooooo… now I’m more open & trying not to go too far down the hole tonight but plan to talk to my therapist about it. I also have struggled with autoimmune issues most of my life including alopecia. I would be interested in hearing more about that correlation as I know for me stress levels & loss of hair are HIGHLY correlated. Thank you for sharing your journey.
You're not alone, I am in a similar position.
i think i may be autistic because of a million reasons. Everyone’s life is complicated but i also had a sense that i was way more sensitive to certain things than others around me. i also think since everyone’s sensory issues present differently, i chalked it up to me being “picky” or “emotional”. Looking back at the meltdown over seamed socks and how i would be so picky over my clothes and shoes. how changes in my life and environment sent me into full blown anxiety attacks. how i always had severe social anxiety and constant worry over my “performance”. How i NEEDED alone time to feel human. how friendships always seemed like a giant source of anxiety and obsession. I have a lot of tangled up emotions and thoughts when it comes to socializing that cannot be simplified here but i think you all know exactly the feeling. I also have hyperlexia and dyscalculia. words make so much sense but math never penetrated. i always felt like my true self would be completely useless or unacceptable to general society because of how specific and complex my brain is. i always have to make changes based on where i am to make others comfortable vs myself. it’s a weird experience.
Thanks so much for sharing this here. 💓
"I read the entire internet" HAHA I can relate.
I believe when they said "copy and paste" behavior, they were talking about masking. Is that right?
Here are some reasons I think I'm on the spectrum:
Attention issues (difficulty listening to stories or switching attention, can focus on something creative for hours)
Brief, intense interests
Obsessive thoughts and behavior
Forgetting past events / general forgetfulness
Inability to lie convincingly
Inability to relax / restlessness
Difficulty with chores and habits
Aversion to anything messy / washing hands compulsively (not germophobia)
Palilalia [complex vocal tic] (repeating phrases to myself)
Blinking tic
Fiddling hands tic
Eye contact issues
Smiling at inappropriate times (such as when I share a shocking piece of news, even something negative)
Difficulty keeping and maintaining friendships
Excruciating small talk
Masking-type behavior
Strong love of movies & video games
Preoccupation with making lists / categorizing things
Prone to perfectionism
Prone to micromanagement
Prone to addiction
Thank you for sharing this enlightening list! I'm sure it will help many others who come across it.
Hi. I'm a 68 year old divorced male with ADHD+Asperger's (I'm still going to call it Asperger's because I like the way it sounds. Kind of like ass burgers.) 😀 I was diagnosed with ADHD about 30 years ago, took Adderal and that helped me even out my energy. But despite the fact that my doc spent years with me, and saw lots of other asterisks (ADHD plus ODD, OCD, narcissism, dyslexia, etc.) he never once suggested that I get tested for Asperger's. (He did say that since I'd managed to get through grad school the test for dyslexia was really not necessary.)
That was a whopper of a mistake. I literally have been handing out "Asperger's Honesty" my entire life. I have been confrontational, smart (I somehow managed to get a master's in social work.), and socially awkward. I've never been comfortable with chit-chat. My typical conversation starter would probably be like: "What kind of music do you like?"Are you more religious or more spiritual?"What do you think the purpose of life is all about and do you believe in reincarnation and soul mates"?
So for me, to discover the latent Asperger's was like hitting the Lotto. EVERY SINGLE EVENT in my life that went "off the rails" is directly related to the Asperger's. One example: I was 5 years old. I was on Romper Room. It was in 1960. It was National Fire Prevention week. Miss Nancy happened to mention that every time a fire engine is dispatched an ambulance accompanies it, just in case. (Better to have it and not need it vs needing it and not having it.) I was curious, in my little Asperger's brain: "I wonder which comes first; the fire engine, or the ambulance.)
At the time I lived in the city and there were emergency call boxes on some street corners. I walked out the front door, walked across the street, up the the corner, shimmied up the pole like a Koala bear, struck the glass, and summoned the fire engines. When the fireman, who was pissed, asked me why I did it, I told him: "I wanted to see which came first, the first engine, or the ambulance." He was still pissed, but mildly amused. (According to my mother's account.) I had no malice whatsoever; I was just Asperger's Curious.
Now to be clear...I'm not blaming the Asperger's for my behavior; I'm just connecting the dots is all. And it was a relief to finally be able to describe what I've been experiencing my entire life. (I used to write is off with things like: "I'm left-handed". "I have a peculiar sense of humor". "I'm more of an acquired taste", Etc.)
At this point, I feel more settled and satisfied and joyous than at any other point, even though I haven't gone through the "official" dx process. I don't need it. I know exactly who I am and who I've always been. I think that part of the reason the Asperger's revealed itself now is because I started watching some underground comedy videos that kept talking about "Asperger's Truth", over and over again. So I started going back through my life and it's nothing BUT Asperger's Honesty events. (Most ending poorly, as to be expected. But rarely a dull moment.) Eventually, I concluded that the reason there were so many such events is because I have Asperger's. (Some of my insights border on psychic, while others miss by a country mile.)
And on the plus side...the world is SO crazy now (billionaires buying Supreme Court justices, rogue cruel governors moving migrants all over the country like they were chattel property, a treasonous ex-President running for office to protect him from his criminality, etc.) that I have trouble taking life seriously. And that really opened the door for me to accept life on MY terms now. I'm done buying into any more BS.
And towards that end...watching some Alan Watts videos has really helped me to focus on an old Hindu take on life: "It's a grand game. It's all just Brahma playing hide and seek with himself. It's a mistake to take life too seriously. Being more serious is not being more responsible. That's just a lie we're fed to control us". That struck a chord in me. Like the Sufi masters, who believe dancing is the best way to be in this world.
Thanks for your video and for continuing to present helpful Autism info!! Peace.
Just recently discovered your channel and your experience definitely resonates with what I've been realizing over the past few months. Got laid off in May and that kinda of forced me to self-reflect (both in terms of career path and overall mental state.) Been on meds for depression and anxiety for a few years now but it still feels like there's a missing piece to my mental puzzle. Right now the biggest thing holding me back from an official diagnosis is the health insurance factor - but it's something I plan to seek out once I've got good coverage again. Thank you for the excellent content!
So great hearing your story!!
I am learning so much. Recently been noticing I may definitely be autistic. Your videos have helped so much.
I tried the aspie test and it turned out inconsistent 😳 there were many questions I wasn’t sure about but your info is so helpful. Thanks
Oh god yes!! I totally understand the trying to make your big thought into small words!
Commenting on this video posted two years ago lol - but I am 41 years old and never once considered I might be autistic until recently where my marriage was challenged and sort of turned on its head. Someone I'd recently met asked my husband if I was autistic, and I brushed it off as my idea of autism was that "typically fully disabled and needing assistance" type of scenario, I didn't know much about it. That remark from a family friend was tossed aside until maybe a week or two later RUclips suggested one of your videos, and I watched it and realized pretty much every sign was there! I've always knew I was different, I was never very social, always had special interests, the same now as when I was a kid etc. I mean I could go on and on and on. I spoke to my therapist about it, and while my therapist doesn't specialize in autism and cant give me a diagnoses, he thought I was on to something. I'm considering seeking an official diagnoses but I still go back and forth with that imposter syndrome of..."how can I be autistic when I can ..blah blah blah?" and wonder if I'm just reaching for straws..... until I do something autistic and I ask myself "what other explanation is there!?" The more I think about my life the more mad I get about all the comments and judgments Ive gotten from adults and peers about why I don't do "normal" social behaviors, as if to assume I am not happy being a loner ...or it must mean I'm depressed when I'm not, because I don't fit into their idea of normal. If I fail that diagnoses test, then why am I this way? I dunno.
Hi Tay! I found your channel about a week ago and ever since, I just can't stop watching your videos! So such of what you said in this and other videos resonates for me... Like you and so many others in these comments, I've spent the majority of my life trying to figure myself out because I always have felt SO different. I've had severe depression and anxiety for most of my life and I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school. I've considered myself an HSP for a long time (I think I read Elaine Aron's book when I was about 20), in addition to having excoriation disorder, emetophobia, misophonia, impulse control issues, adjustment disorder and auditory and tactile sensory issues. After I watched your video on female/AFAB autistic traits, I had MY lightbulb moment.
💡🙂Suddenly, alllll these issues I've had my entire life are starting to line up and make more sense to me. Thank you SO SO SO much for all the work you do!!!
Thank you so much for your comment! My experience has been similar in that I had so many labels thrown at me and then when I learned more about autism it was like I could take the first deep breath of my life. It made sense of all the things. Glad you’re here!
Thank you for this. It's helped me make a lot of sense to the things flying around in my head.
You’re welcome!
Oh Em Gee! I totally relate. As a middle aged female, I share many similarities with your experience. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar, but that didn't fit and neither did all the meds they gave me for it. Later found out I wasn't bipolar. Have always felt different but couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with me. ASD came on my radar through a YT channel and I started researching it. Did all the online tests. Listened to more YT vids, joined FB groups. Found I finally found where I fit. I did get official testing but because I couldn't remember a lot from childhood at that time, even though I had many autistic traits, they wouldn't give me that diagnosis. So I fell through the cracks once again. But I know in my heart that I am (autistic). It feels like Home. Just because a doctor can't figure it out, doesn't invalidate me. I know myself more than they do in a couple visits. My sel-discovery has changed how I see myself in a good way, although, because of the lack of the psychiatric support, I still feel like a fake. But I still know this is who I am. It's a personal, inner journey and it's only helping me heal as I learn more. ❤ Thank you.
I'm 44 and got my diagnosis now. I was not social in school but also went through with high grades. My family are all very high paced and to them nothing is impossible. Just bite down and push through. I have ofc used this venue and got very far academically. However it came with a high pricetag. I always knew that my experience of life was different and also looked everywhere for an explanation. For a long time now I had the diagnosis bipolar type 2 (recurring depression no manic episodes). After the autism diagnosis they are thinking of taking it away since medication have not worked. Thank you for the videos and sharing with the world.
You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing your experience here! It sounds very similar to mine. My family’s motto was “I can. I will. I do.” It helped me accomplish a lot of things but I didn’t know how badly I needed to recover from burnout. I still feel like I’m constantly recovering!
Thank you so much i just recently took the Aspie quiz and according to it im OCD and autistic im 35 and beginning research and self evaluation.
I’m getting tested in November! Thanks for your videos ❤
I'm 29 and I had a full ego death experience recently before realizing I'd been living life with a mask on! So wild!
I absolutely overthink and copy and paste. I have always felt different, I have impostor syndrome. But at 64 and because of the cost I will not be trying to get a diagnosis. My stim is picking the skin near my nails until they are red and sometimes bleed. I find it difficult with eye contact but also overstare sometimes. My children were on the spectrum, but as a female, I feel that I would never have been believed. I have struggled my whole life but your videos are really helpful. Btw I love psychology too and am always researching.
Thank you for sharing! Your story is soooo similar to my story! It’s honestly kinda freaking me out! Im even 31! Ha! But I am at the part of the journey where I am just now plunging into my internet research of autism in adult females. Thank you so much for your work and willingness to be vulnerable in this channel! I’ll definitely be watching! ❤️
Thanks so much for your comment! I know the place you're in comes with a lot of questions and self reflection. Happy to do my best to answer any questions that come up or provide additional resources. Just let me know! Thanks for watching.
Thanks so much for your comment. Definitely familiar with that phrase! Please let me know if there are any other resources or videos I can share that might be helpful to you.
@@MomontheSpectrum Thanks a bunch for your kind answer. Well, getting down to the nitty gritty , It'd be superb if you could make a video in the near future about what you learnt from this Pandemic , and how you believe the world will be ( a much more individualistic approach or maybe a society which is closer to a European Model based on a more collective life ) in a nutshell ,a Welfare State. As someone who's on the spectrum, that doubt has been turning round my head , moving itself from one place to the other like a pinball game. :)
Great suggestion! I have a lot of thoughts about this I could develop as well. I’ll add it to the list.
6:59 "Lightbulb moment", "I felt it in my soul"
Yep, as weird as it might sounds when we try explaining it, that's exactly how it feels to realize you're autistic. That realization is so profound and life-changing that I personally don't feel the need at all to pursue an official diagnostic (I've had an expert in the field confirm my suspicions though, he said I perfectly fit the 'undiagnosed adult with ASD' mold)
Yeah once you know, you know. So glad you have felt acceptance within yourself. That's so important.
@@MomontheSpectrum Thanks :) It's still very much a work in progress, but it's a considerable weight off my shoulders.
I love everything about this video, thank you! 🙏💖
You're so welcome!
Omg I’m 21 and every time I watch one of your videos I feel like we are the same person. I relate to everything that you said. Please pray for me I’m about to get an assessment done hopefully very soon. Question: how do you manage meltdowns?
Hi Monet! Thanks for your comment. Sending good vibes as you near your assessment date. I hope everything goes smoothly. And as far as meltdowns go, I wrote something called the Meltdown Survival Guide that might be helpful to you. You can find it here: taylorheaton.gumroad.com/l/meltdownsurvivalguide
Everything is so wow! I am dyslexic and have dicalulia, ADD/Adhd, depression and a ton of paranoia not to mention autistic. I don't see any of it as a detriment. I have always masked and it has never been hard. I am a male but the only place I unmask is alone around my very large dog. Mia is my chocolate lab child. My favorite stem is messing with my dog. There are a lot of stems.
I've recently kindof woken up to the idea that I'm on the spectrum... I do the clicking of the teeth too.. constantly clear my throat, adhd diagnosis as a kid, never wanted to do homework but always scored really well on exams, acceled in band, very high mechanical aptitude, constantly singing or making noises, sometimes I catch myself just counting in my head for no reason whatsoever, unconventional sense of humor, some social anxieties... the list goes on. I'm also 31 and it's so weird to be thinking about all of this.. thanks for sharing your story and posting plenty of videos
You're very welcome. Thanks for taking the time to comment, Brock.
Of course the first thing I took away from your comment is that you were in band. What's your instrument?
And you're right, navigating this as an adult is weird! Also I count a lot, too. Usually objects.
I'm a tuba player! Started on trombone and switched in high school... didn't you see my profile image!? 😁 I bought my first concert tuba a year and a half ago and was able to join up with two community bands which has been great! Minus the pandemic of course.. first rehearsal back is this Monday night and I'm excited! Thanks so much for responding 🤙🤙
@@brockseeman7808 Oh my gosh your profile image!! haha i'm sorry. I'm wearing my glasses and the profile image is verrrrry small. Just enlarged it and can clearly see your beautiful tuba! So jealous you found some community bands to participate in. I miss playing!!!
@@MomontheSpectrum it had been almost a decade since I played, other than a couple tuba Christmases, so it's really been wonderful, I have a few guitar videos on my page and plan to get more up very soon, maybe some day I'll do a tuba video... sucks that you haven't been able to find a band in your area 😕 I hope your career change and job hunt is going well! I'm sure you'll land on something great very soon
There are people with autism who are seriously disabled or overcome huge obstacles and spend years of their childhood in special classes or ABA therapy and they are constantly being overshadowed by accounts like this and people who admit they do not suffer serious dysfunction. 💔
I haven't been diagnosed (yet) and my results on the online quizzes/ tests are confusing. I've been thinking about what I do that might be thought of as stimming. I used to twist my feet/ ankles a lot. I remember being scolded for doing it in church as a child, and my ex-husband joked that my foot was going to come unscrewed and fall off. I don't do it any more, and as a consequence, my ankles are stiff, so now I've been trying to do it! I attributed it to restless leg syndrome (RLS), which is associated with fibromyalgia, which I also have. I have a high IQ, and lots of academic success, but never have been successful in standard job interviews.
I was diagnosed at 31 years old too 🤗
I was diagnosed level 2 from Dr.Robinson in Dallas when you were diagnosed! And I’m 34
I definitely think I'm autistic. I can't make eye contact. I used to be able to but this pandemic has been hard on me. Seeing people wear masks gives me major anxiety. I have depression, anxiety, and definitely selective mutism. I find that if it is a difficult topic or I'm upset I can't speak. Like the words won't come out. It's like a wall goes up or something. I've not been diagnosed by a professional though. Also growing up I definitely had special interests. I remember making a folder of all things Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. I knew everything possible about them. And now I could tell you anything to do with certain pokemon stuff.
I love the Mary kate and Ashley special interest!! 💓😁 sounds like you have an important understanding of yourself in this area. Let me know if you have suggestions for future videos that may be helpful!
Hey Tay!
So last night I saw your suggestion for the aspie quiz and I took it since im still researching this huge, wonderfulnew world. I scored 134/200, which said "very likely". My therapist went over the dsm5 criteria with me a m d it doesn't seem like it's very up to date on new possibilities. Yet, that's their main guide? I've also taken a few AQ tests and scored "highly likely" or similar on each.
Sorry I totally ignored the whole video and just stared at that blanket. Might try again 🤣
omg, i just found your channel this morning-have had an asd diagnosis for about 8 months now (diagnosed at 30yrs, after my son was diagnosed at 4yrs)
the overlapping life-check-marks between my, my wife’s and your story are astounding… history of anxiety, history in evangelical christianity (and then leaving), married my highschool sweetheart-met when we were 16yrs.
now my wife just received an adhd diagnosis and is wondering if she’s also autistic!
and i’m sure there are more relatable intersections… very cool to hear your story!!
So interesting how many of our experiences line up! So great to hear from you. Welcome to the channel!
I feel like i managed really well in college, but i basically didnt socialize much in class and really at all outside of classes. Besides my roommates i didnt go to parties, join teams or do anything club wise really. I basically stayed home and did school work or relaxed in my own space. If I'd had to work or do a bunch of socializing I likely wouldnt have made it through university.
I just took the quiz and said that I am very likely to be on the spectrum. I also am traveling an hour away from where I live for my final assessment. I am very nervous, because although I have face timed the woman who is assessing me, I haven't actually met her in person yet. I am nervous because I don't want to mess up and I want to be able to communicate everything to her.
I Have other videos over the diagnostic process that might be helpful as you prepare!
@@MomontheSpectrum okay, thank you. I'll look at it. My appointment was very intense and I have a bit of a head ache, but it went well. She told me that I am a classic autistic adult and she will schedule an appointment with me and my husband next week and explain everything more
so far I share the vast majority of things that yourself and other level 1's talk anout on youtube, through one of your videos i learned of the AQ test and Aspie quiz, i took each, scored 40 on the AQ and 130 on the Aspie and it said I was 96% probability on the my Aspie results
Can I ask what you feel the benefit of an official diagnosis is? I am almost 50, so school support and modifications would not apply. As an adult with an established career and a marriage and kids, is there any tangible benefit other than feeling vindicated? Wondering if it is worth the hassle and time investment to pursue a diagnosis. Thanks.
Growing up I had issues with speech, didn't fit in or feel comfortable with kids my age I prefered the company of adults mainly grandparents. I couldnt stand looking people in the eye still can't but learned to do it. I has stems such as picking at my skin, nails and more. Severe irritable bowl, depression and anxiety has really been a life long struggle, i dont do large social events. As a kid i was a very picky eater due to texture and still have textures i just cant do ie grapes and berrys and no jello period. I dont like being toughed lightly and tickling insights anger. I have a hard time with high pitched noises and loud anything. Hyper imagination least to say i love horror movies but ill be awake for hours and cant do the dark. The list goes on i was about 24 when a counselor i was seeing said she thought i was on the spectrum and asked if i would want to get diagnosed. I didnt need the diagnosis everything just klicked and made me feel relief to feel vilified. I felt able to breath. I'll be 30 this year just had my first baby and i hope to learn from your journey to apply to my own
I don't yet have a diagnosis because I can't afford an assessment. How do I talk to my mom (I'm 45; she's 70) about what my childhood was like? Knowing if I had autistic traits as a child would help me with diagnosis. And I don't remember enough of my childhood for it to be useful. A conversation about childhood symptoms/characteristics may also help rule out or diagnose BPD and C-PTSD.
I can't find a single video on how to talk to your parents about this. What do I ask? What do I need to know? How do I approach them without freaking them out that they were a bad parent?
38, diagnosed Autistic last month. ADHD back in the 90s.
How did you meet the DSM criteria for number 1 if you haven’t had the social difficulties? Or maybe you have! I’m so interested in learning because it helps me. I’m 39 and have suspected I’m autistic for about five years, and it was confirmed yesterday. So I’m feeling pretty weird but keen to hear about other women’s autistic profiles ❤
Hello. My mother in law just told me that my husband is autistic and that she never told him. He is 48 years old. We have had terrible marital issues and are on the brink of divorce. Very complicated story but I am looking for help and a way to get him to understand that we need help with his autism so we can understand each other better and communicate better but he is completely refusing and thinks the counselor we are going to can help us but she does not have any knowledge of autism or some of my issues like trauma. Any suggestions? I've only known this for a week and your videos have been EXTREMELY helpful and have explained so much of what has Been happening the last few years!
Im going through a similar situation. I think I have several issues including autism and OCD undiagnosed. Im at the beginning of this.
Hey! Just found your channel and watched this and a few other videos, thanks for your sharing your story and for your service, very useful :) I'll take a shot in the dark here and try to guess your Human Design profile based on this video alone - feels like you're some kind of projector (I wanna say Self-projected like me), maybe a 4/6 profile. Curious what it really is, hopefully we can find out :D Take care
That's how I feel. The only difference I don't have a lot of friends. I have maybe 4 friends. My panic attacks started when I was 15 but I always struggled. I don't have a official diagnosis. I do have a friend that is also autistic and she noticed the patterns in my behavior. I'm 39. All the free test they have are all in the markers for aspergers. My fiance has a daughter that has aspergers and he sees the similarities in me.
It sounds like you are making some important progress in understanding yourself!
Please explain 'copy and paste behavior". I didn't get a good handle on exactly what it is from the video.
Do you think in flat or 4K video? That’s something that’s blown my mind recently other people don’t think in full images 🤯 I’m 47 just thought I was broken, friends don’t stick even though I put so much into trying to build rapport (maybe I’m mirroring…) I still feel miss understood and alone. My son has been diagnosed and through researching for him I feel like I’m learning about myself. My assessment is in a few days and I’m scared they will say I’m not, because I feel like I’ve an answer a way to understand so much if it’s confirmed I’m autistic x
That quiz confuses me a little but it seems I scored average on a chunk with one high for aspie traits and low on the NT social
While I am crazy noise sensitive (high pitches) I actually stim by putting music insanely loud where I can’t hear anything else and all I feel is the rhythm. I will play one song over and over and over and over… The more anxious I am the more likely I am to do this. Drown everything out and zero in on the repetition. I recently started to allow more direct fidgeting again with toys, bouncing on my feet, etc. So many years of suppressing. I’ve now gone 3 weeks without a migraine. Hmmm?
So interesting! And we are very similar in regards to music! I've busted countless speakers bc one of the most helpful things for me is to go for a drive by myself with the music as loud as it will go. I LOVE IT.
@@MomontheSpectrum I often say that when the mirrors in my car are vibrating I have the volume just right. I shake my leg back and forth so hard sometimes that my car rocks when stopped at a light.
@@CinkSVideo I headbang so hard my neck hurts the next day! haha sounds like we would have an interesting car ride together
My god, I'm bawling my eyes out over how much this resonates. I am SO scared it's not autism, but I don't know why... also, I am a man, but I suspect I present more like the "female" version. I know that's already the case for my ADHD. It's difficult for me, because I feel like a niche in a niche, which amplifies the feeling of being off. But I try to push through that, because I now I NEED to know.
I never once thought I could be autistic… I feel like I talk too much but something is up with me.
People on the spectrum can talk A LOT!!!!! Especially when talking about one of their special interests. I’d encourage you to check out some of my videos on autism in females for more info on autistic characteristics.
I was getting an F in at least one class per grade period in grade school, but I was the President of the Physics Honors society in University.
What’s the difference?
Answer: Social Pressure
I was free in college. The worst period in grade school was “free play.”
Thanks for the video.
You’re very welcome!
Hi Tay. Thanks for the advice about autism you provide in all your videos. Even though there is some miss information about autism that should be clarify. Psychologies, Neurologists professionals can over diagnose autism as it is one of the more complex disorders. When professionals test for autism based in questionnaires and variety of traits present in autism at different levels they can missed in the details, instead of the main feature in autism. The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) provides standardized criteria to help diagnose ASD. There some optional parts like the repetitive behavior OCD, inflexibility, hyper-fixation, hyper or hipo sensory and other that can be present or not. What professionals missed is the mandatory part in the diagnosis for autism, which is the deficit in social-emotional reciprocity, deficits in developing, maintaining, and understand relationships. You can have all common traits present in autism, if you do not have lack of social-emotional reciprocity, then you cannot be diagnose as autistic. Many youtubers and Tik Tokers are over diagnosed themselves and they maybe even have a professional diagnoses based on questionnaires that can be giving wrong diagnoses. Many of them say "I have friends" and "no social issues" to get in to a friends relationship, or even married. They say they have autism because the OCD, ADHD, fixation, over-sensory, etc, they do not realize that these traits are optional. If you do not have issues in socializing, then you are not autistic. The average autistic teen have no capability to socialize, no friends, even though their IQ can be over average. If you have social anxiety, or just nerdy, you are not autistic.
In autism you lack of theory of mind of simple social situations, like the Sally-Anne Test. Now, look the other side when some kids diagnosed with autism, no friends, no social skills. When adults after multiple social skills programs like PEERS or others, they are able to learn, practice and achieve the social skills needed to start a social-emotional reciprocity relationship. As Toni Athwood mention or Elizabeth A. Laugeson, when this happen they do remove the autism diagnosis from this adults, since the mandatory trait of autism the lack of social-emotional reciprocity relationships is no longer an issue. They remove the autism diagnosis regardless of the other traits they can have. Many autistic kids takes years to achieve this point of social skills and I can ensure that they do not have the level of some autistic youtubers saying "I have friends and no major issues socializing" and "married to neurotypical", but I'm autistic because other issues that match autistic traits.
Also, to the parents of autistic kids. There is a tendency to look for autistic traits in the parents of a ASD diagnosed child. This happen to all parents, saying I have all these traits and also I'm not a so good at socialization. You can have all traits, but look at the intensity. Again, If you have social anxiety or you are nerdy, but understand theory of mind, then you are not autistic. Even if your kid is autistic, your level might be not deep in lack of socialization skills to get an autism diagnosis.
Basically do not fall in to the exaggeration that many parents fall when trying to point to parent traits of an autistic kid: if I'm not an expert in socialization with hundred friends and parties every day, then I should be autistic.
30% of the overall population are analytical rather than social empathy person and as a neuroscientist state in a conference, all of us have some traits of autism at some level, again this does not make us all 30% autistic. I think this is no showing respect for those who really have socializing issues , no verbal, no theory of mid, no capacity to even get one friend in a reciprocal situation.
They say the human brain has approximately 100 Billion neurons & we only use 10% (10 Billion neurons). So we have 90 Billion Neurons left to bounce our thoughts around like in a bouncing castle.🤣 Even when I'm asleep, they are still having fun.🤦♂🤦♂🤣🤣🤣
Similar except instead of getting. HELP is urgent i dk who response to help save me from my fam who i am theirs mental punching bag . can u refer me to mental health support. a group of sorts? love to hear back from u - selangorian
Hmm, you really don't seem autistic at all. I guess it is a very wide spectrum, you must be on the very high functioning and sociable end. Do you have any deficits or difficulties?
I wonder though how much caffeine she was taking in at the time.... a lot of that sounds just like caffeine addiction....