Should I stay married all my life to a person who decides not to talk to me anymore, to stop working, to stop doing the housework, to stop doing the shopping, who starts drinking and taking drugs, who don't do the cooking or the laundry anymore, etc... In short, the Watchtower condemns me to stay with such a person and that all my life unless this person decides to commit adultery!!! My deliverance rests only on adultery. Fortunately, human laws are more reasonable than the laws of an old ancient book that was only concerned with perpetuating patriacal power for whom violence and abuse were not a problem.
@@kevinmoyer6224 exactly why my husband had to bite his tongue for years, I was very devoted and sincere, never missed a report in decades, so every time he pointed out something wrong or nonsensical I'd give him an ugly look, so for the sake or "peace" and having children to raise, he shut his mouth until.... our family was severely affected by the bad association inside the congregations around us that led our children to lying and drinking heavily, so THAT touched my nerve and made me jump out of this BS called jw, which we thought it would be the best place for our children. So now we are out and our kids are still in living a double life with a bunch of losers. And they see US, loving parents as "bad association" lol what a joke, oh my...
@@michaelwinter8633 The toxic doctrines of Jehovism go so far as to say that a JW woman who lives with an abusive, possessive, violent, mean and alcoholic husband should continue to remain married for the rest of her life to such a man. Even if she leaves the marital home to escape this domestic hell, the innocent spouse will be condemned to remain married to her torturer. Jehovism ultimately pushes innocent spouses to the limit to commit "the fault" in order to free themselves from a perverse and manipulative spouse. Fortunately, human laws are more reasonable than the laws of an old ancient book written by uneducated nomads. The doctrines of Jehovism are so absurd that they do not allow a spouse to divorce if their husband or wife sleeps with other people of the same sex. For the Watchtower, a homosexual relationship does not break the bonds of marriage and will therefore not be considered adultery. The "cheated" husband or wife will have to remain married to their spouse until the latter files for divorce or commits adultery with a person of the opposite sex. Religious fundamentalism at its finest.
The toxic doctrines of the Watchtower go so far as to say that a JW woman who lives with an abusive, violent and alcoholic husband should continue to live with this man all her life. Even if her husband sleeps with other men, his wife JW will be forced to stay with him rather than divorce to escape this domestic hell.
Actually, homosexuality is grounds for divorce and disfellowshiping, its just a lot harder to prove. All a person has to do for a qualification for a scriptural divorce is prove (and thats the tricky part) that their mate was 'alone with a member of the opposite sex'. If a JW is seen by 'two witnesses' going into a home or hotel room with member of the opposite sex, that is sufficient. This does not apply to 2 men or 2 women. A lot of JW's have been forced to stay married as a result.
@@TheIndianscout If the husband of a JW woman is no longer a believer, nothing prevents him from being homosexual. If the JW woman is still a Watchtower slave then she will have no biblical grounds for divorce.
I couldn't agree more. It worked out for my wife & I (35+ years together) but so many we know have ended up trapped in a bad marriage or trapped as 'unscripturally divorced', never free to move on. The latter sometimes happens when the marriage becomes platonic; often as a result of inexperience with intimacy or free discussion of it prior to marriage. If a JW is trapped in a marriage where sexual activity becomes absent (one parter refuses to engage in intimacy or can't because of some mental trauma) one can't obtain a scriptural divorce. This leaves the longing partner in a terrible position. The one who wasn't interested in a sexual relationship will never give the other scriptural grounds. This traps the innocent party in limbo. Eventually that individual will find someone and become intimate. But then will be disfellowshiped for 'imorality'. If a 'normal' courtship could have taken place, the one individual's issues with sexual intimacy could have been discovered before marriage, saving everyone a lot of grief. With JW's its: "No, you can't drive the car. You can't even sit in it. Then; here's your licence...now go 100 miles an hour!"
I’ve always thought that dating was bad as a jw because they always said how divorce, abuse, sex before marriage, etc. is bad.I guess it led me to be scared of even dating or talk to boys. Now I wish I was back in high school and had a boyfriend or bring someone out to prom.
My ex can't remarry because I have no interest in even being with a woman now. She texted me recently asking if she was free to remarry. Unfortunately she has to 'sleep in the bed she made'
@Kevin Moyer i would do what Watchtower lawyers do. Lie and say sure you're free to remarry. Once you find out she is married. Tell her that you made it up and thank her for committing adultery.
My dad wasn't a witness, but my mum is. He knew about this rule and told her that he had cheated. I have no idea if he actually did (he's dead now). But either way it was a smart move.
My ex wife was a lifelong witness as was her entire family… Adultery is one of their ways out, correct. That worthless scumbag cheated on me and ran off to marry her first cousin in Florida somewhere 😂 It scarred me for many years, thought I’d never truly love again. Boy was I WRONG! I’ve now been with my wife for 9 years and we have had five children in that time frame. Teri, if you’re somewhere out there reading this, thank you, cousin f***er from the bottom of my heart. You gave me the greatest gift I could’ve ever asked for… your absence.
Haha so interesting to read comments of ones who clearly have no idea but still speak on a point. Look up Joseph Smith, Mormon. The difference is JW's principles are bible based. There is also a difference on many aspects of rules or what is up to an individuals own conscious.
Except on the ground of FORNICATION...check old SCRIPTURES...then we do call it premarital sex but the Jehovah witness did not define fornication to check it out..
The first one you metion that the happy couple (boyfriend and girlfriend) are not allowed to sit next each other at the hall unless they're married or can't do anything spend alone together is troubling. They need to bond or get to know each other in a deep level to see if they're RIGHT for eachother! This is physcoical damage that watchtower elders made. It's like they want to see misery no happiness in couples. Sorry for my spelling error on pshychological.
I have a friend who was in a very mentally & physically abusive relationship and he was also having an affair (but there was “no proof” of that or her being abused their elders and others said. So to free herself she began seeing a close co worker friend, had an affair and finally got her divorce. However She was the one who got disciplined & disfellowshipped. Him… Nothing. He even was quick to remarry 6 months after the divorce was finalized. He even remarried in his Kingdom Hall. But my friend is much happier and doing great and happy and so in love with her boyfriend. Similar situation with her sister. But both are so much happier now. Their own mom and brother even mistreated them. (Their brother acts like he is his wife’s boss and she literally cannot do ANYTHING if he doesn’t want her to. She literally has to get his permission for everything. But she stays with him. Her choice.🤷🏽♀️
Yes! In fact when I was dating my boyfriend my mom started crying because we held hands in front of her. HELD HANDS!!!!!😂😂😂 she talked to us all seriously and started crying. We were already planning on getting married. All it did was make us sneaky. Which usually happens with most young JW couples or they get married way too fast and way too young because they just want to have sex. Totally ridiculous
If I can't find a girlfriend, my plan is to: 1. Pretend to be a Jehovah's Witness and get baptized. 2. Connect with a Jehovah's Witness and establish a relationship. 3. Gradually discuss our beliefs and help her recognize potential concerns within the faith. 4. Eventually, we both decide to leave the cult, ensuring a happier life together.
Don’t do it man. I tried that with the Mormon church lol. They are a cult too! The women will not want to date you unless you are a very popular church figure. Or were born into the church. Converts are not treated the same as men born into the church
I guess I’ll blame the scriptures then 🤭 Seems like a good idea to force people to stay married even if someone is getting physically or mentally abused. As someone who watched their parents stay married through abuse, I’ll let you know it’s not a good idea. Not for the victim, and not for the children who see and hear it. But you do you Michael
@@BeckyOverbeck people choose to make the oath. Nobody forces them. If their marriage partner abuses them, they can always separate. There are no scriptures stating they cant separate. As far as blaming the scriptures, God makes the rules so you may as well blame him.
Yeah, that's why the jw lawyer was penalized for lying in court. That's why Geoffrey Jackson said in the "Australian Royal Commission" " it would be too presumptuous to say that we are God's only spoke people on earth". That's why jw paid 2 million dollars to keep their list of names of pedophiles hidden in their database until this day, disobeying a judge order (superior authorities) and we can go on and on for days..... on how "high" moral standards they have.
@Willie Daniel not really. If a married brother has molested a child, and that child comes forward, that child must tell 3 elders in a room WITH the brother who molested her, and if that married brother lies about it, his wife cannot get a scriptural divorce. Unless he actually rapes the child, she must stay with him and will most likely be admonished to ‘give her husband his due’. High moral standards??? I don’t think so.
I would re-marry regardless, or live with my other partner even if we were not legally married. The only one stopping you is yourself. No elder or religion can stop you
They use shunning to keep people in line. There are a lot of people who won't leave a toxic marriage because they were born into multi generation JW families, and their entire family will shun them if they get disfellowshipped. Because it's a cult.
The religion has become even more controlling than it was in the seventies when I was a member! Isn't it wonderful to be a free person now!
That’s for sure
There's Norfolk and Waypal that I'm ever gonna become a Jehovah's Witness. 😊
i love jehovah God sooooo much❤
Should I stay married all my life to a person who decides not to talk to me anymore, to stop working, to stop doing the housework, to stop doing the shopping, who starts drinking and taking drugs, who don't do the cooking or the laundry anymore, etc... In short, the Watchtower condemns me to stay with such a person and that all my life unless this person decides to commit adultery!!!
My deliverance rests only on adultery. Fortunately, human laws are more reasonable than the laws of an old ancient book that was only concerned with perpetuating patriacal power for whom violence and abuse were not a problem.
They encouraged my wife to leave because I was a "spiritual danger" after I woke up to it being a cult... so there are exceptions
@@kevinmoyer6224 Your wife is gone but she cannot remarry. She remains a prisoner of the doctrines of this apocalyptic cult.
@@kevinmoyer6224 exactly why my husband had to bite his tongue for years, I was very devoted and sincere, never missed a report in decades, so every time he pointed out something wrong or nonsensical I'd give him an ugly look, so for the sake or "peace" and having children to raise, he shut his mouth until.... our family was severely affected by the bad association inside the congregations around us that led our children to lying and drinking heavily, so THAT touched my nerve and made me jump out of this BS called jw, which we thought it would be the best place for our children. So now we are out and our kids are still in living a double life with a bunch of losers. And they see US, loving parents as "bad association" lol what a joke, oh my...
You made an oath "for better or worse" so Yes. You should stay married.
@@michaelwinter8633 The toxic doctrines of Jehovism go so far as to say that a JW woman who lives with an abusive, possessive, violent, mean and alcoholic husband should continue to remain married for the rest of her life to such a man. Even if she leaves the marital home to escape this domestic hell, the innocent spouse will be condemned to remain married to her torturer.
Jehovism ultimately pushes innocent spouses to the limit to commit "the fault" in order to free themselves from a perverse and manipulative spouse.
Fortunately, human laws are more reasonable than the laws of an old ancient book written by uneducated nomads.
The doctrines of Jehovism are so absurd that they do not allow a spouse to divorce if their husband or wife sleeps with other people of the same sex. For the Watchtower, a homosexual relationship does not break the bonds of marriage and will therefore not be considered adultery. The "cheated" husband or wife will have to remain married to their spouse until the latter files for divorce or commits adultery with a person of the opposite sex. Religious fundamentalism at its finest.
The toxic doctrines of the Watchtower go so far as to say that a JW woman who lives with an abusive, violent and alcoholic husband should continue to live with this man all her life. Even if her husband sleeps with other men, his wife JW will be forced to stay with him rather than divorce to escape this domestic hell.
They encouraged my wife to leave because I was a "spiritual danger" after I woke up to it being a cult... so there are exceptions
Actually, homosexuality is grounds for divorce and disfellowshiping, its just a lot harder to prove. All a person has to do for a qualification for a scriptural divorce is prove (and thats the tricky part) that their mate was 'alone with a member of the opposite sex'. If a JW is seen by 'two witnesses' going into a home or hotel room with member of the opposite sex, that is sufficient. This does not apply to 2 men or 2 women. A lot of JW's have been forced to stay married as a result.
So she left you??
So the men are allowed to sleep with other men???
@@TheIndianscout If the husband of a JW woman is no longer a believer, nothing prevents him from being homosexual. If the JW woman is still a Watchtower slave then she will have no biblical grounds for divorce.
I couldn't agree more. It worked out for my wife & I (35+ years together) but so many we know have ended up trapped in a bad marriage or trapped as 'unscripturally divorced', never free to move on. The latter sometimes happens when the marriage becomes platonic; often as a result of inexperience with intimacy or free discussion of it prior to marriage. If a JW is trapped in a marriage where sexual activity becomes absent (one parter refuses to engage in intimacy or can't because of some mental trauma) one can't obtain a scriptural divorce. This leaves the longing partner in a terrible position. The one who wasn't interested in a sexual relationship will never give the other scriptural grounds. This traps the innocent party in limbo. Eventually that individual will find someone and become intimate. But then will be disfellowshiped for 'imorality'. If a 'normal' courtship could have taken place, the one individual's issues with sexual intimacy could have been discovered before marriage, saving everyone a lot of grief. With JW's its: "No, you can't drive the car. You can't even sit in it. Then; here's your licence...now go 100 miles an hour!"
I’ve always thought that dating was bad as a jw because they always said how divorce, abuse, sex before marriage, etc. is bad.I guess it led me to be scared of even dating or talk to boys. Now I wish I was back in high school and had a boyfriend or bring someone out to prom.
Yep. My ex divorced me. Now I am stuck. I can not remarry because she did not commit adultery. It is not easy.
I left my ex and got remarried. I'm not under watchtower rules... lol
My ex can't remarry because I have no interest in even being with a woman now. She texted me recently asking if she was free to remarry. Unfortunately she has to 'sleep in the bed she made'
Why are you stuck? are you still in the religion, do you have close family in it or why do you care? sincere question.
@Kevin Moyer i would do what Watchtower lawyers do. Lie and say sure you're free to remarry. Once you find out she is married. Tell her that you made it up and thank her for committing adultery.
@@starbrite1121 family still in.
My dad wasn't a witness, but my mum is. He knew about this rule and told her that he had cheated. I have no idea if he actually did (he's dead now). But either way it was a smart move.
Seeking a helper 🙏🙏
My ex wife was a lifelong witness as was her entire family…
Adultery is one of their ways out, correct.
That worthless scumbag cheated on me and ran off to marry her first cousin in Florida somewhere 😂
It scarred me for many years, thought I’d never truly love again.
Boy was I WRONG!
I’ve now been with my wife for 9 years and we have had five children in that time frame.
Teri, if you’re somewhere out there reading this, thank you, cousin f***er from the bottom of my heart.
You gave me the greatest gift I could’ve ever asked for… your absence.
Seems like the solution to an unhappy marriage and wanting a divorce, is to have an affair. After all, Joseph Smith did it multiple times 😮
Joseph Smith founded Mormonism...
Haha so interesting to read comments of ones who clearly have no idea but still speak on a point. Look up Joseph Smith, Mormon. The difference is JW's principles are bible based. There is also a difference on many aspects of rules or what is up to an individuals own conscious.
Except on the ground of FORNICATION...check old SCRIPTURES...then we do call it premarital sex but the Jehovah witness did not define fornication to check it out..
The first one you metion that the happy couple (boyfriend and girlfriend) are not allowed to sit next each other at the hall unless they're married or can't do anything spend alone together is troubling. They need to bond or get to know each other in a deep level to see if they're RIGHT for eachother! This is physcoical damage that watchtower elders made. It's like they want to see misery no happiness in couples. Sorry for my spelling error on pshychological.
If I were a Jehovah witness I would still celebrate birthdays ,Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July etc.
😂😂😂😂😂
You would get disfellowshipped! Or everyone would be doing that 😂😂
@nataliegilmore7436 The ignorance of some people is staggering
That's true for be a couple they need to be married
I have a friend who was in a very mentally & physically abusive relationship and he was also having an affair (but there was “no proof” of that or her being abused their elders and others said. So to free herself she began seeing a close co worker friend, had an affair and finally got her divorce. However She was the one who got disciplined & disfellowshipped. Him… Nothing. He even was quick to remarry 6 months after the divorce was finalized. He even remarried in his Kingdom Hall. But my friend is much happier and doing great and happy and so in love with her boyfriend. Similar situation with her sister. But both are so much happier now. Their own mom and brother even mistreated them. (Their brother acts like he is his wife’s boss and she literally cannot do ANYTHING if he doesn’t want her to. She literally has to get his permission for everything. But she stays with him. Her choice.🤷🏽♀️
I can finish on these. Thx. Waiting for an Asian Jehovah.
I would leave for sure
Did you say no touching? 😂😂
😂😂😂😂
Yes! In fact when I was dating my boyfriend my mom started crying because we held hands in front of her. HELD HANDS!!!!!😂😂😂 she talked to us all seriously and started crying. We were already planning on getting married. All it did was make us sneaky. Which usually happens with most young JW couples or they get married way too fast and way too young because they just want to have sex. Totally ridiculous
If I can't find a girlfriend, my plan is to:
1. Pretend to be a Jehovah's Witness and get baptized.
2. Connect with a Jehovah's Witness and establish a relationship.
3. Gradually discuss our beliefs and help her recognize potential concerns within the faith.
4. Eventually, we both decide to leave the cult, ensuring a happier life together.
Don’t do it man. I tried that with the Mormon church lol. They are a cult too! The women will not want to date you unless you are a very popular church figure. Or were born into the church. Converts are not treated the same as men born into the church
😊👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
So the scriptures say no divorce unless one commits adultery and you blame the JW's??
I guess I’ll blame the scriptures then 🤭 Seems like a good idea to force people to stay married even if someone is getting physically or mentally abused. As someone who watched their parents stay married through abuse, I’ll let you know it’s not a good idea. Not for the victim, and not for the children who see and hear it. But you do you Michael
@@BeckyOverbeck people choose to make the oath. Nobody forces them. If their marriage partner abuses them, they can always separate. There are no scriptures stating they cant separate. As far as blaming the scriptures, God makes the rules so you may as well blame him.
Extremely high moral standards Jehovah hates all fornication
Yeah, that's why the jw lawyer was penalized for lying in court.
That's why Geoffrey Jackson said in the "Australian Royal Commission" " it would be too presumptuous to say that we are God's only spoke people on earth".
That's why jw paid 2 million dollars to keep their list of names of pedophiles hidden in their database until this day, disobeying a judge order (superior authorities)
and we can go on and on for days..... on how "high" moral standards they have.
@Willie Daniel not really. If a married brother has molested a child, and that child comes forward, that child must tell 3 elders in a room WITH the brother who molested her, and if that married brother lies about it, his wife cannot get a scriptural divorce. Unless he actually rapes the child, she must stay with him and will most likely be admonished to ‘give her husband his due’. High moral standards??? I don’t think so.
I would re-marry regardless, or live with my other partner even if we were not legally married. The only one stopping you is yourself. No elder or religion can stop you
Exactly! 💯 I totally agree with u! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
They use shunning to keep people in line. There are a lot of people who won't leave a toxic marriage because they were born into multi generation JW families, and their entire family will shun them if they get disfellowshipped. Because it's a cult.