"Don't waste space in your head carrying other people's mean thoughts for them" Oh. Oh!!! I didn't know it but I really needed to hear that, thank you!
3:20 another banger "don't waste space in your head carrying other people's mean thoughts for them" Honestly the whole section from 3:10 - 3:25 is fire
I think that I would be ostracised for telling people that whole weekend i spent procrastinating on youtube and oversleeping. And it is always the same way.
I tell my coworkers I spent the weekend sleeping sometimes, when it's true. It usually gets a chuckle and they find it very relatable because they also wish they could sleep in more. They are all also much older. The reaction very likely wouldn't be what you think. Not saying to do it if you aren't comfortable, but others are likely doing the exact same. Remember that.
Entirely depends on how you frame it I think. If you just say you were procrastinating it feels very negative but if you instead said "I had things planned but ended up just relaxing over the weekend" it comes across more relatable
If someone told me that, I wouldn't know how to react, because it sounds like you are criticizing and being hard on yourself- already putting yourself down before I can talk, assuming I will do the same. But I, and most other people, don't want to be mean to you, so it's hard to respond to that- if you already have an idea of how we're going to respond, then it's hard to respond differently! Reframing those activities like "I was just relaxing this weekend, didn't do much!" or "I was watching an interesting video series I've been meaning to get to, so that was fun" or as the other comments said, saying that you procrastinated or slept a lot in a lighter, more jokey way are all ways to respond. (I recommend the first two if you have trouble grabbing the social cues needed to joke about your procrastination, it can be hard to tell jokes in the moment with strangers if you're not used to it.) In all three of those ways, I would be able to respond to you- by commenting how I might need to get more sleep and that it was lucky you got some rest, or asking what the video series was, or admitting that I was procrastinating too- and many others will do the same. Most people want to relate to you- not all, but most. I wish you good luck
the needs of the many outweigh the continued existence of numerous items of very expensive military kit. silver lining... no salamanders were harmed in the making of this vijjoe
after watching this, i tried being more myself outside. some people acted like i was a freak, but some people actually found me funny. thank you for this video ❤
@@oatmeal3013 Not really, even just having interests that aren't 100% mainstream is "weird" to some people (Ex: D&D, even with the huge success of Baldurs Gate 3 my brother called me a nerd for playing D&D)
I disagree, people don't really bat an eye nowadays if someone's all y2k'd up or talks about mlp, like they _might_ find it weird or whatever but people know everyone's got their own niche interests and don't really question it unless they're interested. Nowadays people generally embrace being weird all the time anyway Patch: added the "anyway" to the end cuz forgot to first time around
The intercom mentioning the "scattered Patreon credits" is really funny. I'm a big fan of the shitty mo cap aesthetic that VR Chat gives. bueno video 👍
"The mask of self-deception was no longer a mask for me, it was a part of me. Night lifted it, laying bare the stifled truth below; but there was no one to see except myself, and when day broke the mask fell back again of its own accord." -The Mask by Robert W. Chambers
I agree, weird is cool. I've always thought cool people were confident or caring people and there is nothing more confident than owning your weirdness.
I sorta got into two friend groups over the years. One irl and one online. I kind of use the word "friend group" losely though. The irl group only takes me out to get wasted. Often when I show them something I like, for example I play my favourite music (which is usually metal music) or I try talking about something I like they just kind of... stare and don't say a word. They are very nice to me, even let me stay in their shared apartment when I had something bad happen a few times. But this is all very "I help you because you're a human being" thing which is great, but I don't feel very seen. The online group I left, because I also had a lot of fun there. But in group voice calls I was often never even listened to. I notice patterns in my relationships if people never really being interested in truly getting to know me. It's like taking only the sweet benefits of surface level connection for both me and people I'm with, but it never goes deeper where there's actual challenge and hardship involved.
So many people have tried to explain this kinda thing (“just be yourself!”) and honestly this is the first time that I feel like I kinda understand it. This still feels like a starting point but I think I need that right now. Thanks for making this video.
I recently saw a viral tweet that read "most of the weird quirks that people associate with homeschooled kids are really just their organic, individual personality traits that wouldve been viciously stomped out of them had they attended a 'normal' school."
the universe is clearly telling me to go buy a giant witch's hat at this point. maybe i'll actually do it edit: hat ordered! thanks for all the support everyone
"all that masking my weird interests got me was lukewarm acquaintances, not true friends." my current situation described perfectly. i've exhausted myself trying to be "normal" to other people and all it's gotten me is low self-esteem and loneliness. thank you for this video and for explaining it in a realistic way. i hope i can learn to express my weirdness more freely one day.
@@ganymedeanoutlawI was able to play it on my Xbox one a few years ago with the disk. Should dig out the disk and see if it still works on series x too at some point
It's really nice as a 30 something year old to see someone else around my age who is also weird and doesn't completely have it together. As I was growing up in the 90's and 2000's, computers were for nerds (unless you were pirating music or talking to friends on MSN or myspace). Anime was virtually unknown outside of Cartoon Network, and people didn't realize that nerd culture was profitable (and therefor okay) yet. So I learned to hide who I was, and to that day, while a lot of my friends have learned to be confident in their interests, I've still been too afraid. I really want to change that.
@@PedroKing19 Yeah, I really enjoy how it has become a bit of a cultural touchstone that everyone understands, and that has worked its way into our language a little
I got bullied as a kid too, that stuff sticks in weird ways. It made me want to fit in more. But over time I got more confident in myself when it comes to talking. Now I'm a strange mix of 'normal person but with weird interests' and 'awkward quiet kid who is sometimes confident'. I really wish I had the self esteem to quote fun vines I loved when I was younger. And I still talk weird sometimes. But I'm becoming more me every day
I can relate. In my case, i do have actual "normal" interests, so it makes fitting in a little easier, but if i am honest, if i didn't have them i probably wouldn't make any friends lmao I also only feel safe talking about my weird interests when i know the other person also have them, so they won't mock me. At the same time i think it is cool because it doesn't make a plain conversation where i explain the concept of some weird anime or vtubers to some random person and look at me with a disgusted face, i also feel like a coward, because deep down i know i am scared of what response i am gonna get. But well, guess rome wasn't built in a day
The thing with bullies is that they don't bully you because you're weird, they bully you because they're bullies and know they can hurt you using that. They use your weirdness as an excuse to bully you.
ive just recently started being completely openly weird and its been hard but i feel so much better and real, true to myself and my reliance on others approval has almost gone completely! Theres many things i love and enjoy that i didnt even realise i was hiding, now its pretty clear how much i was avoiding living for others comfort. Its really nice to see other people going through similar experiences!
i never tried to please others but i noticed they want something from me that i'm not willing to give. so i went into hiding. i tried to completely isolate myself from people that i feel want something i can't give. like basically all of society, everyone i've ever known. i was always telling myself that i don't care what others think but later in life i realized that the whole reason i went into hiding was because i care TOO MUCH instead.
One thing I learned watching this is that sometimes for something to click, the way it's communicated matters more than the message itself. "You don't have to S rank every conversation" hits me particularly hard. I didn't even realize I was trying to do that and getting frustrated when I didn't get a "perfect" (from my own standards/pov).
6:59 it took me a second to register that wizard was driving off a cliff and realizing you were both falling and the sudden cut-off to the plane had me dying lmfao 7:45 lovely advice :D, and WIZARD FLY UP NOOOO--!!
As an openly weird person who somehow managed to avoid being bullied my whole weird life (I built suits of armor out of cardboard and duct tape and wore them to school on school spirit days every year. I also regularly spent time trying to design video games and drawing instead of socializing. I also didn’t care much for sports.) I do think owning your weirdness, and even taking pride in it, goes a long way. I will say though, I did have some things going for me. I have always looked pretty good, I can hold a conversation if I have to, and I have a natural lean muscular build. I was also a Christian and sat with the semi-popular Christian kids at lunch (even though I didn’t really talk to them all that much, again, preferring to draw/design). The one time someone tried to bully me for one of my suits of armor by calling me a nerd in a mocking tone, I immediately pumped my fist in the air, didn’t even bother turning around to look at them, and shouted “heck yeah I am” before heading out for the day. To this day I have no clue who the souls were who had the nerve to even try to bully me.
@@thisIsfluffy I’m doing great actually. Though the honest truth of it is, while I wouldn’t be doing as well if I didn’t work hard, no amount of hard work alone would have gotten me here. While I may not be wealthy, I am privileged af.
@@lizardqueen6041 my dad once told me, in response to my nonchalantly wearing homemade cardboard and duct tape armor to high school, that he admired how unapologetically I was just myself, not trying to live my life for the approval of others. Granted I was hard core suppressing some non-binary aspects of myself at the time (I still do unfortunately, now is just not that chapter of life), but that was mostly because I thought God was against my nonbinary feeling/desires (I no longer believe any God being worth my attention is opposed to queer people, assuming any God being exist, a matter O have come to believe humans are fully inept to discern). So at the time I was very much only living my life for the approval of God and myself, no one else, and I was happy, still am happy going into my 30s.
it's weird to me to think that other people think wearing a mask is weird, i've always worn one since the pandemic because i have a scar in my lung that makes it susceptible to infection. so far, i've only gotten compliments because the mask i have has a cool image of space on it; so i've never thought other people might find it weird. And since it seemed like that person from your story was in a hospital at the time, that just makes super extra weird to have a problem with it since you'd think they would know about sensitivities and precautions that may make someone want or need to wear a mask
if you know how immune systems work and all these details of how the masks have more bad effects than good ones (if there even are any), you kind of get weirded out by people who still wear them. especially since they've become an absolute minority. i see maybe one person with mask in a whole week. and i can't help but think of covid derangement syndrome. it's really more like pity. these people have got some serious mental scarring due to all the fear mongering. maybe they have some other reason to wear it, like you, but why haven't they done it before covid then? i don't know what kind of mask you wear but the typical surgical masks are made from plastic. it's like a gas mask but for supplying your lung with micro plastic. i don't even wear polyester clothes and i use glass bottles instead of plastic ones. why tf would i put plastic on my face? according to the tests i've done, i've had the covid 3 times and each time it was the mildest flu i've ever had. the lightest cough and the lightest fever. that's it. my immune system got rid of covid more easily than basically anything else i've ever had that i had any symptoms from at all. so these are all the reasons why wearing masks is weird. i can understand if you want to hide. i know that feeling. although i would recommend you do something about that urge and not just give in to it.
@@meh.7640 my dude, i know somebody has probably made you feel stupid for having some simple preference that isn't hurting anyone (i might just be projecting my own experiences on that one, but i assume many people can relate anyway), but you really don't need to retroactively justify every feeling you have with some empirical reasoning. You can just say you don't jive with something and leave it at that; just as long you aren't trying to make people who feel differently from you feel bad. i guess if you really feel the need, you could go and try to figure out why something makes you feel the way you do, but that normally isn't as easy as whatever thought pops into your brain first and certainly not within whatever weird factoids you found on the internet; it's normally going to be a bit deeper than that
@@meh.7640 oh my God great 4 u that your infections were so mild!!! 7 million other people who lost their lives can't relate I'm so glad your immune system is so strong. Since you get mild infections, whether or not you wear a mask is no big deal!! There's definitely no possibility of you carrying something that's a mild infection for you, and dangerous for someone with a weaker immune system. But wearing one is only about one's personal health teehee 🥰😘😝🤪💕
On a tangent here before I finished the video, as an adult, I've taken a liking to physical activity and the like, but the reason that I did so now as opposed to as a teenager or a youth is probably the lack of outside pressure to succeed. The whole "in it to win it" mentality behind most of it really disincentivized me to such activities because one, I'd never win, and two, it creates a lot of pressure to succeed at a level that most people can't hope to attain even with a regimen from hell. The more modest goals and the thought of taking it at my own pace has led me to enjoying it way more than in the past. I think that if people didn't expect us to engage in these hobbies with the usual mindset and goals, they'd probably have better luck. Now, having watched most of the video, I can say -GET OUT OF ME HEAD MAN- that I really concur with a lot of the points made here about embracing your inner weirdo. Another point that I would like to mention is that even in the past where I try to "fake it til I make it", the 'tism and the subtle offness of my behavior and speech is enough to just make it a pointless endeavor anyway. I actually literally have a cartoon character style of wardrobe where I have a similar, if not same, black outfit for just about every day of the week. My past issues and resentments have cost me relationships, but my drip (That's what the hip kids say, right?) has gotten me compliments, especially my socks, which, while technically women's knee high socks, are so rare to see on people that it does draw looks. Hides all the fucked up scars, bulging calf veins, and bad shave jobs down there too. Again, usual empty platitude of "good vid, ty" but with some actual sincerity, your videos are a proverbial message in a bottle.
This hits really hard, and I really appreciate you putting this out there for people. I just recently left my biggest 'friend group', realizing that they were just always being mean-spirited to me, and I was masking my true self around them. I am an bubbly/giggly ADHD weirdo boy with a higher/softer voice for a guy my age. My capacity to feel is extremely deep, and while kind to a fault, I'm horribly sensitive. I was bullied extremely hard growing up, and I ended up masking the things that made me *me* so hard that I lowered my voice and talked much less than I wanted to. I became a dimmer greyer version of myself. I struggled to participate in groups and conversations, and I realize now that it wasn't because I had a lack of things to say, but because I was trying to find the words within a "less annoying" version of me that didn't exist in the first place. It's taken me getting to 28 to finally have friends that encourage me to be my real self, to be bubbly and excited about things without worrying that I'm talking to much, and it's brought out a lot of good in me I didn't know I had. I've gotten extremely deep into DMing for DND in FoundryVTT, when I never thought I'd have the courage to. I've started doing music again for the first time in ages. I opened my heart and my voice to others and have so many friends that are now telling me that I'm a wonderful storyteller, and a gem of a friend. I used to wear a lot of boring less colorful clothes, but now I've started wearing things like blue tights and shortalls, cute flowy things, and the response from those real friends has been wonderful. "Witness my non-binary autistic splendor!" Yeah, that, ehe~ Thanks friend, weird *is* cool. I don't want lukewarm acquaintances anymore either, they aren't fun.
It's great to have people you can ramble to about things you love ! Happines is when you don't have to pretend and watch what you say or think, I'm lucky to have friends like that. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not I can tell them everything.
Thank you Lillian, I just started college and still feel like a kid with kid insecurities. And as an autist, seeing someone who has the same struggles but is doing okay gives me hope.
Hey!! I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. I was expecting a quick guide but your Honesty let me realize that I've hidden my weirdness for far too long to the detriment of myself, and I'll take the time to slowly be myself and try to present my true persona more often.
1:44 is honestly so true for me, I guess, even though gaming isn't considered weird I just have a self defence barrier that stops me from discussing anything about my hobbies apart from making music and playing violin. Even though I have never really been bullied, mainly ignored 😆 I guess I think the person who I'm talking too would think it's stupid playing niche indie video games like Factorio. Also soundtrack selection in this video is crazy, loved playing Cassette beasts.
as someone who was a weird kid & miraculously didn't get mocked at/ ridiculed/ bullied , i am so thankful i had the abilities of confidence, sociability & somewhat awareness of what went around. bc tbh if i didn't had any of those, it wouldn't be easy 4 me to have the friends i have or experience the greatness that is growing up & having all of my special interests with me.
I relate alot to the things you said in this video. I am always no nervous and scared of other people, I have cut and ripped off so much of myself to turn into a feeble shadow. I don’t really know what or who I am as I am a teenager but I know I have lost so much in my desperate attempt to accommodate every single thing perceived as “flaw” to others. I won’t cut my hair if it means I look weird, I won’t wear what I want if it means being proper, I won’t wear face masks even if the comfort while wearing one is present, I won’t draw what I want or have the opinions I hold if it means fitting in properly. This video was comforting, I have been slowly chipping away at my insistent need to be normal for months now but the process is slow and videos like this are of great help to reassure me that i’m doing right by me.
6:14 Thank you so much for saying this, I really needed that. For me improvement (ex: unmasking) always happens slowly, sometimes I regress, sometimes I forget abt it and need to pick back up. Change isn't always some explosive declaration, it's a process, and it can be really subtle. I'm glad smb feels like I do. :)
No joke, I made so much friends when I start to embrace my interests. Perceiving myself as normal put down my confidence, and I became a shy kid throughout my childhood and teenhood. I am an adult and being "cringe" is probably the best thing I've ever done.
thank you for this. my entire life i've been more of a listener and an observer than any sort of active participant. there was a point when i came out and started to transition that i felt i was finally living my life, but once i started passing i've been feeling like a background character in my own life. it's gotten to the point my voice is super rusty from not being used for days at a time. i can count of my hands the amount of people who even know i exist and none of them know the real me. i'm working on it, trying to gain back the confidence i've lost through everything thats happened to me. recently i've been really caught up in transmedicalist ideas of having to prove i deserved my transition which has stripped me of any personal expression. but after watching this i put of makeup and jewelry. maybe one day i'll be ok. & now i'm trying not to cry my makeup off
This is such a relatable experiences. From hiding the things I like so others can’t use them against me, to looking at the people I thought I knew, only to realize we’re just acquaintances and even not wearing clothes I think look cool or charming because they’d seem too different or weird to the people around me. It’s nice to see that others have had similar experiences and, over time, arrived at the similar conclusions about themselves and others. And if some day you managed to explain to your coworkers about playing D&D on the weekends, I’d love to know how.
OMG "NORMALCY IS THE ANTITHESIS TO CREATION" THAT'S BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU! This video didn't teach me anything i haven't already been thinking, but in that same note it did so totally validate everything i've thought and felt for a long time, thank you so much for this!!
This video is so nice and cool. As a nb person i feel you about the clothes part!!! At the end, it's really really hard to pass as nb, and where i live is impossible (super gendered language, no they/them) but!!!! I dress in a way that people admire my style. And you're right, being normal means nothing and it feels strange
The step one to feeling good about being nonbinary is to realize that there is no such thing as nonbinary and you've been bamboozled by a foreign influence operation, and you should just feel good as whichever gender you were born as without complicating your life and destroying your self perception because someone told you that there's something wrong with you inherently.
Yeah I imagine being NB is rough in more conservative countries, especially if the language itself doesn't even allow for gender neutrality and people are really opposed to any push to change them. That said, the only thing you can do is express yourself as freely as you can (so long as it's safe), and find community and people who accept you.
You're so right!! And I enjoy the editing of your video, along with the chase scene. Great work, always exciting and insightful to see a new vid of yours!
It's neat watching these videos and seeing you go through experiences similar to what I went through, in particular watching you grow and learning to let you be you. It's one of the hardest lessons to learn, and though I slip up and fall into my old mindset occasionally, I'm much better now than what I used to be. Keep it up, you're doing great work!
hey I just wanted to say thank you, I hope I can be like you when I get older, I loved the part where you said that confidence is about knowing you'll be okay, I really resonate with that so much I can't put it to words, thank you thank you
Thank you for making this video genuinely. I'm someone whose super anxious and deeply insecure/ashamed of who I was my entire life. Yet I realize a lot of my own friends I still have now are ones who stayed with me and liked me for my weirdness. We weird people need to stick together. ✨️
I related so much to "I don't like playing Face QWOP" Pre-pandemic I wore them on the commute to work specifically because of that. When someone asks why I usually reasoned that its because of the smog (which does exist but its just a secondary reason to why im wearing them)
I'm also an autistic tomboy/enby weirdo and went 22 years without being diagnosed. I hid behind my intelligence and good grades, conventional attractiveness, artistic talent, plain fashion, being very quiet, and having just enough social ability to have one super best friend throughout my school years who I relied on for all of my other satellite friends who I wouldn't hang out with one-on-one, but in groups. I was miserable, insecure, and lonely though. Now that I'm diagnosed I'm learning how to survive the adult world in a whole new way. It's been a relief. I give myself and ask for so many more accommodations and have almost no shame about them now. I dress in alternative fashion and makeup that makes me feel like myself. Now that I have confidence I also attract all sorts of romantic attention, which has been good and bad, especially when I'm "manic pixie dream girl-zoned", which has also been a learning process to navigate. Also learning to navigate who is safe enough to tell about my diagnosis and who isn't has been hard. I have a tendency to over share too soon and I'm working on that. But I also have a lot more genuine friends now just from being open and honest and myself! Turns out sometimes people think it's hilarious and endearing when you're super honest and blunt.
this is all incredibly valuable information, literally just own yourself in all you do. Be into weird shit unapologetically, own the work you do at your job, own where you live and keep it well, own your successes and your failures. You're not perfect, no one is.
I love your videos, they are so relaxing and reassuring, and they really hit the right spot. This one resonates with me because I spent my high school years and post pretty much trying to not be noticed and keeping everything to myself. Only now I'm starting to understand how much I actually hate that and how much useless stress I'm putting on myself for no reason by thinking so much about what others may think. I feel like I made myself more boring and denied deeper connections for closing in myself. I'm only now starting to feel the desire to express my thoughts freely and act however I want. (in case anyone may ask this, I don't have the desire to push a sharp object into someone's else body)
Be your weird, wonderful self. It scares away fake people who just want to use you. This is the mentality I try to keep unless I'm interacting with a stranger that I'll never see again but even then I only tone it down.
I'm not saying you're wrong, you're very positive and we need more people like you in the world, but reality shows that people, especially kids are being discriminated against and even being a victim of violence due to their appearance.
Facemasks are indeed cute and comfy. Great video. As my mother loves to say: "Normal is a setting on the dryer." I know the mask can be difficult, but I hope one day you can fully be yourself. You deserve it.
wow i think i got recommended this video exactly when i needed it, thank you so much. i will take these lessons and apply them when im interacting with others in the future. you constantly hear, “just be yourself!” in every sort of human interaction advice but i dont think anyone articulated just what that means like you did. you deserve the world. and good god i think it’s finally time i get myself some new friends-
I was kinda on the road to this and this helped me a lot. I unfortunately can't go all the way with it because of shity parents, so I'll guess I'll try to get through it until I'm out and then I'm gonna do whatever I want and be the weirdest shithead i can be :3
I found out throughout recent years that the key to being happy with yourself and getting to make deep connections with people is ACCEPTANCE. Time and time again I would feel bad about myself, especially when trying to chase an ideal version of myself that I thought I had to become to be liked. If I judged someone in my head, if I thought about something negative, I would torture myself. Like if I was betraying the perfect (and non existent) version of myself. The kickstart for my change was oddly enough a tumblr post which talked about confidence: "Confidence isn't the absence of insecurity but knowing that you have real worth despite it". This helped me understand that confidence wasn't about being a hero, or a pure-hearted person, but to be someone who chooses to accept his flaws as part of himself and still do good things. I've been growing as a person steadily throughout these last years. I've made many first steps. And man, if you are confident about what you like, people will notice. Friends have started showing interest in fashion or skincare (which being a cishet male is not that common, so I feel like I am making a positive impact in my friends as well). Ironically, letting go of my worries, winging it and just accepting that I am a weird silly little guy with a lot of quirks has given me the best years of my life and my most meaningful relationships. Please, be yourselves, never stop being yourselves. Even if it's just you in the end, you will at least live the way you want to
I'm a fairly confident person, but, like anyone, I've got some stuff to work through. And let me tell you, the way the line "shame is the antithesis to confidence" hit me in the fucking chest.. yeesh. It's kind of exactly what I needed to hear as I shed off the last 10% of my mask. Great video!
My NB 11 year old still wears facemasks, and at first I was like ‘dude, you are awesome and you don’t need to hide,’ but as time has gone on, I realized it has been so wonderful for them to not have to worry about how their facial expressions may get analyzed. I’m autistic (actually diagnosed), and I can highly relate to their struggle.
this is my own time, as a chubby+nerdy enby i had a bad bad time starting to go to the gym consistently, but every single time ive gone everyones been minding their own business, and hell often I get compliments about my cat eat headphones that I wear (not bc i want attention but bc they are the only wireless headphones i have). it was very refreshing seeing how little everyone actually cares about what you are doing. do the weird thing, no one cares, have fun and if anything you’ll be the interesting person in the crowd.
You're you, not anyone else. So choose you, not the words they expect you to be. Don't lie to yourself on who you are as a person just to satisfy other people who don't even care about you. if anything, you're just gonna dig yourself deeper into that self-deception, blinding yourself on layers upon layers of illusion until you think that illusion is who you truly are, even though it's not. Be you, be happy.
God, I just... love... everything about this, this whole channel, no- YOU, you little lilian, you are such a breath of fresh air, something truly strange, different, something giving a new perspective on this weird and wonderful thing called life. And if you want my two cents: I beleive people will ALWAYS come to like something aslong as there is confidence placed in it. As soon as anything loses confidence in itself - wether that be a person or creation - it all comes tumbling down, wether people see and understand it or not.
This is actually a trap, we're weird and these things, people, normies are just waiting for us to be caught lacking, keep your walls up people, be safe
The expectation thing is soooo relatable. People can have such high expectations and say it’s for your better but it’s like they are trying to dump me in a box and remould me how they want
This video found me at a perfect time. I used to be a lot more energetic and silly when I was younger and would end up internalizing it from repeated negative comments. THe masking put in in a chronic state of burnout and now I'm finally learning to accept who I am. After all, all my childhood friends that I still talk to today befriended me for my weird and openminded side, and the more I learn to unmask the happier I become. I'm lucky to have found so many friends that like me for who I truly am and It's all because of me not hiding my silly sides! The people who don't vibe with you will leave, and the ones who do will stay!
There is this one kind of thing that happened 3 or 4 times in my life. On differents occasions, I ended up having long convesations with people I barely knew at the time. Some I never got the chance to talk to again after. They would easily talk about their "wierd" interests as if they trusted me to be open about it. I would listen to them, confused about how they could just talk about it with someone they just met, and I would feel a single emotion: a really, really strong admiration. To this day i'm still puzzled as to why it was this strong. I wished these moments would never end, that I could listen to them talk about it forever. Of course I had to end somehow. Of all the things that happened in my life, I feel like those are the ones I would forget last. I wish I could be like them, but how could I? I was taught my entire life not to.
"you don't need to S rank every conversation"
THANK YOU. I've been needing to hear that shit
P rank for me lol
I play Ultrakill :P
Yeah, I spent way too much time thinking about a conversation I had, so hearing that definitely made me feel less crazy abt it.
@@fluoxvonhoovienheimer4706 That means S ranking timing, style and... KILLS
As an Osu! player, this is the most watered down sentence with gamer terms i've ever heard lol
cool pfp
"Don't waste space in your head carrying other people's mean thoughts for them" Oh. Oh!!! I didn't know it but I really needed to hear that, thank you!
2:16 this is such a good quote "turns out openness hasn't made me ostracized, it's made me friends" :D
3:20 another banger "don't waste space in your head carrying other people's mean thoughts for them"
Honestly the whole section from 3:10 - 3:25 is fire
🔥
I think that I would be ostracised for telling people that whole weekend i spent procrastinating on youtube and oversleeping. And it is always the same way.
You are not alone.
I tell my coworkers I spent the weekend sleeping sometimes, when it's true. It usually gets a chuckle and they find it very relatable because they also wish they could sleep in more. They are all also much older. The reaction very likely wouldn't be what you think. Not saying to do it if you aren't comfortable, but others are likely doing the exact same. Remember that.
Entirely depends on how you frame it I think. If you just say you were procrastinating it feels very negative but if you instead said "I had things planned but ended up just relaxing over the weekend" it comes across more relatable
If someone told me that, I wouldn't know how to react, because it sounds like you are criticizing and being hard on yourself- already putting yourself down before I can talk, assuming I will do the same. But I, and most other people, don't want to be mean to you, so it's hard to respond to that- if you already have an idea of how we're going to respond, then it's hard to respond differently!
Reframing those activities like "I was just relaxing this weekend, didn't do much!" or "I was watching an interesting video series I've been meaning to get to, so that was fun" or as the other comments said, saying that you procrastinated or slept a lot in a lighter, more jokey way are all ways to respond. (I recommend the first two if you have trouble grabbing the social cues needed to joke about your procrastination, it can be hard to tell jokes in the moment with strangers if you're not used to it.) In all three of those ways, I would be able to respond to you- by commenting how I might need to get more sleep and that it was lucky you got some rest, or asking what the video series was, or admitting that I was procrastinating too- and many others will do the same. Most people want to relate to you- not all, but most. I wish you good luck
Nah probably just concerne
"real confidence comes from knowing ill be ok, even if something hits me pretty hard" really spoke to me
🚚🤕🤕🤕🤕
Gerald and I crashed so many fighter jets filming this...
[a_lilian and gerald] making the mother of all [videos] here, can't frett over every [crashed fighter jet]
the needs of the many outweigh the continued existence of numerous items of very expensive military kit.
silver lining... no salamanders were harmed in the making of this vijjoe
@@tubebrocoli 😆
oh dear well cant win em all
after watching this, i tried being more myself outside. some people acted like i was a freak, but some people actually found me funny. thank you for this video ❤
"On my orbs I am not going back! Tell the council I accept FUCK!"
Preach Gerald preach!
he's so real for that. 🙏
3:52 "And that's okay. You don't have to S rank every conversation" line goes hard
it is considered normal to have interests
but it is not considered normal to HAVE INTERESTS
Huh?
@@siddhartacrowley8759 have interests in all caps, i assume they mean hyperfixations. super loud, intense, constant.
@@oatmeal3013 Not really, even just having interests that aren't 100% mainstream is "weird" to some people (Ex: D&D, even with the huge success of Baldurs Gate 3 my brother called me a nerd for playing D&D)
@@yumenoko-g6ywell you might be a nerd but nerds are great
I disagree, people don't really bat an eye nowadays if someone's all y2k'd up or talks about mlp, like they _might_ find it weird or whatever but people know everyone's got their own niche interests and don't really question it unless they're interested. Nowadays people generally embrace being weird all the time anyway
Patch: added the "anyway" to the end cuz forgot to first time around
the wizard escape is a very important part of this video
The intercom mentioning the "scattered Patreon credits" is really funny. I'm a big fan of the shitty mo cap aesthetic that VR Chat gives. bueno video 👍
"The mask of self-deception was no longer a mask for me, it was a part of me. Night lifted it, laying bare the stifled truth below; but there was no one to see except myself, and when day broke the mask fell back again of its own accord." -The Mask by Robert W. Chambers
I agree, weird is cool. I've always thought cool people were confident or caring people and there is nothing more confident than owning your weirdness.
I sorta got into two friend groups over the years. One irl and one online. I kind of use the word "friend group" losely though. The irl group only takes me out to get wasted. Often when I show them something I like, for example I play my favourite music (which is usually metal music) or I try talking about something I like they just kind of... stare and don't say a word. They are very nice to me, even let me stay in their shared apartment when I had something bad happen a few times. But this is all very "I help you because you're a human being" thing which is great, but I don't feel very seen.
The online group I left, because I also had a lot of fun there. But in group voice calls I was often never even listened to.
I notice patterns in my relationships if people never really being interested in truly getting to know me. It's like taking only the sweet benefits of surface level connection for both me and people I'm with, but it never goes deeper where there's actual challenge and hardship involved.
I'm in the same boat
I can't tell if it's because I'm not putting in the effort or I need to meet new people
cheers
Same here. I hope we can both figure out what's going on and find some deeper connections and great friends soon enough. Have a nice day!
Yeah, it's always wierd when your friends feel more like acquaintances most of the time. Its hard to make genuine connections.
Yeah exactly, i hope we find our people someday
So many people have tried to explain this kinda thing (“just be yourself!”) and honestly this is the first time that I feel like I kinda understand it. This still feels like a starting point but I think I need that right now. Thanks for making this video.
"Because weirdness is the vanguard of culture, by it's very definition normalcy is the antithesis of creation"
That's a helluva quote
Dang
I recently saw a viral tweet that read "most of the weird quirks that people associate with homeschooled kids are really just their organic, individual personality traits that wouldve been viciously stomped out of them had they attended a 'normal' school."
Yeah but also a lot of homeschooled kids are actually just socially inept
the universe is clearly telling me to go buy a giant witch's hat at this point. maybe i'll actually do it
edit: hat ordered! thanks for all the support everyone
Or MAKE one òuó
I'm part of your universe and I'm telling you to go buy that witches hat :3
DO IT
As an owner of one I highly recommend having a classic, black witch hat
Do it actually. Be the cool witch you ever dream of
"all that masking my weird interests got me was lukewarm acquaintances, not true friends." my current situation described perfectly. i've exhausted myself trying to be "normal" to other people and all it's gotten me is low self-esteem and loneliness. thank you for this video and for explaining it in a realistic way. i hope i can learn to express my weirdness more freely one day.
lilian's videos are so heartwarming. they make me feel comprehended.
the ace combat music at the end REALLY caught me off guard… I thought I was back in the skies over gracemeria for a second
My patriotism kicked in and I began involuntarily saluting
I've been fixing up my old 360 partly to play AC6, since I haven't played that one
@@ganymedeanoutlawI was able to play it on my Xbox one a few years ago with the disk. Should dig out the disk and see if it still works on series x too at some point
Go dance with the angels
It's really nice as a 30 something year old to see someone else around my age who is also weird and doesn't completely have it together. As I was growing up in the 90's and 2000's, computers were for nerds (unless you were pirating music or talking to friends on MSN or myspace). Anime was virtually unknown outside of Cartoon Network, and people didn't realize that nerd culture was profitable (and therefor okay) yet.
So I learned to hide who I was, and to that day, while a lot of my friends have learned to be confident in their interests, I've still been too afraid. I really want to change that.
“Playing face QUOP” is a very good way of describing how that feels lmao T_T
If the internet forgets abt QWOP we will be doomed
@@PedroKing19 Yeah, I really enjoy how it has become a bit of a cultural touchstone that everyone understands, and that has worked its way into our language a little
I got bullied as a kid too, that stuff sticks in weird ways.
It made me want to fit in more. But over time I got more confident in myself when it comes to talking. Now I'm a strange mix of 'normal person but with weird interests' and 'awkward quiet kid who is sometimes confident'.
I really wish I had the self esteem to quote fun vines I loved when I was younger. And I still talk weird sometimes. But I'm becoming more me every day
I can relate.
In my case, i do have actual "normal" interests, so it makes fitting in a little easier, but if i am honest, if i didn't have them i probably wouldn't make any friends lmao
I also only feel safe talking about my weird interests when i know the other person also have them, so they won't mock me. At the same time i think it is cool because it doesn't make a plain conversation where i explain the concept of some weird anime or vtubers to some random person and look at me with a disgusted face, i also feel like a coward, because deep down i know i am scared of what response i am gonna get.
But well, guess rome wasn't built in a day
The thing with bullies is that they don't bully you because you're weird, they bully you because they're bullies and know they can hurt you using that. They use your weirdness as an excuse to bully you.
ive just recently started being completely openly weird and its been hard but i feel so much better and real, true to myself and my reliance on others approval has almost gone completely! Theres many things i love and enjoy that i didnt even realise i was hiding, now its pretty clear how much i was avoiding living for others comfort. Its really nice to see other people going through similar experiences!
i never tried to please others but i noticed they want something from me that i'm not willing to give. so i went into hiding. i tried to completely isolate myself from people that i feel want something i can't give. like basically all of society, everyone i've ever known. i was always telling myself that i don't care what others think but later in life i realized that the whole reason i went into hiding was because i care TOO MUCH instead.
@@meh.7640 Same
One thing I learned watching this is that sometimes for something to click, the way it's communicated matters more than the message itself.
"You don't have to S rank every conversation" hits me particularly hard. I didn't even realize I was trying to do that and getting frustrated when I didn't get a "perfect" (from my own standards/pov).
I love how neutral and calm the narration is, while everything is crumbling into chaos
it's because she has confidence. 🤝🤝
6:59 it took me a second to register that wizard was driving off a cliff and realizing you were both falling and the sudden cut-off to the plane had me dying lmfao
7:45 lovely advice :D, and WIZARD FLY UP NOOOO--!!
The goat has returned with more introspective advice!!!
Omg the Calvin and Hobbes bully
Also, “don’t waste space in your own head carrying other ppl mean thoughts for them” is a wonderful nugget of wisdom
Instructions for riding in a fighter jet with Gerald
Step 1: Buy a revivify scroll
As an openly weird person who somehow managed to avoid being bullied my whole weird life (I built suits of armor out of cardboard and duct tape and wore them to school on school spirit days every year. I also regularly spent time trying to design video games and drawing instead of socializing. I also didn’t care much for sports.) I do think owning your weirdness, and even taking pride in it, goes a long way.
I will say though, I did have some things going for me. I have always looked pretty good, I can hold a conversation if I have to, and I have a natural lean muscular build. I was also a Christian and sat with the semi-popular Christian kids at lunch (even though I didn’t really talk to them all that much, again, preferring to draw/design).
The one time someone tried to bully me for one of my suits of armor by calling me a nerd in a mocking tone, I immediately pumped my fist in the air, didn’t even bother turning around to look at them, and shouted “heck yeah I am” before heading out for the day. To this day I have no clue who the souls were who had the nerve to even try to bully me.
Fellow oddball believer here. (Artist too.. haha) Those cardboard suits sound awesome in all honesty. Hope you're still doing well.
@@thisIsfluffy I’m doing great actually. Though the honest truth of it is, while I wouldn’t be doing as well if I didn’t work hard, no amount of hard work alone would have gotten me here. While I may not be wealthy, I am privileged af.
Fellow artist as well. Your attitude at being called a nerd is so inspiring!
@@lizardqueen6041 my dad once told me, in response to my nonchalantly wearing homemade cardboard and duct tape armor to high school, that he admired how unapologetically I was just myself, not trying to live my life for the approval of others.
Granted I was hard core suppressing some non-binary aspects of myself at the time (I still do unfortunately, now is just not that chapter of life), but that was mostly because I thought God was against my nonbinary feeling/desires (I no longer believe any God being worth my attention is opposed to queer people, assuming any God being exist, a matter O have come to believe humans are fully inept to discern). So at the time I was very much only living my life for the approval of God and myself, no one else, and I was happy, still am happy going into my 30s.
Fellow nerdy Christian and I applaud you! ❤🫶🏾🫶🏾
it's weird to me to think that other people think wearing a mask is weird, i've always worn one since the pandemic because i have a scar in my lung that makes it susceptible to infection. so far, i've only gotten compliments because the mask i have has a cool image of space on it; so i've never thought other people might find it weird. And since it seemed like that person from your story was in a hospital at the time, that just makes super extra weird to have a problem with it since you'd think they would know about sensitivities and precautions that may make someone want or need to wear a mask
According to my one friend that works at a hospital they’re basically Pokestops for anti-maskers
depends on how idiotic your local political culture is
if you know how immune systems work and all these details of how the masks have more bad effects than good ones (if there even are any), you kind of get weirded out by people who still wear them. especially since they've become an absolute minority. i see maybe one person with mask in a whole week. and i can't help but think of covid derangement syndrome. it's really more like pity. these people have got some serious mental scarring due to all the fear mongering.
maybe they have some other reason to wear it, like you, but why haven't they done it before covid then?
i don't know what kind of mask you wear but the typical surgical masks are made from plastic. it's like a gas mask but for supplying your lung with micro plastic. i don't even wear polyester clothes and i use glass bottles instead of plastic ones. why tf would i put plastic on my face?
according to the tests i've done, i've had the covid 3 times and each time it was the mildest flu i've ever had. the lightest cough and the lightest fever. that's it. my immune system got rid of covid more easily than basically anything else i've ever had that i had any symptoms from at all.
so these are all the reasons why wearing masks is weird.
i can understand if you want to hide. i know that feeling. although i would recommend you do something about that urge and not just give in to it.
@@meh.7640 my dude, i know somebody has probably made you feel stupid for having some simple preference that isn't hurting anyone (i might just be projecting my own experiences on that one, but i assume many people can relate anyway), but you really don't need to retroactively justify every feeling you have with some empirical reasoning. You can just say you don't jive with something and leave it at that; just as long you aren't trying to make people who feel differently from you feel bad.
i guess if you really feel the need, you could go and try to figure out why something makes you feel the way you do, but that normally isn't as easy as whatever thought pops into your brain first and certainly not within whatever weird factoids you found on the internet; it's normally going to be a bit deeper than that
@@meh.7640 oh my God great 4 u that your infections were so mild!!! 7 million other people who lost their lives can't relate
I'm so glad your immune system is so strong. Since you get mild infections, whether or not you wear a mask is no big deal!! There's definitely no possibility of you carrying something that's a mild infection for you, and dangerous for someone with a weaker immune system. But wearing one is only about one's personal health teehee 🥰😘😝🤪💕
"Don't waste space in your head carrying other people's bad thoughts for them" hit me shockingly hard lol
"I think weird stuff is cool, and
I
am
FREE!!" -Uzi Doorman
murder drones mentioned 🔥
On a tangent here before I finished the video, as an adult, I've taken a liking to physical activity and the like, but the reason that I did so now as opposed to as a teenager or a youth is probably the lack of outside pressure to succeed. The whole "in it to win it" mentality behind most of it really disincentivized me to such activities because one, I'd never win, and two, it creates a lot of pressure to succeed at a level that most people can't hope to attain even with a regimen from hell. The more modest goals and the thought of taking it at my own pace has led me to enjoying it way more than in the past. I think that if people didn't expect us to engage in these hobbies with the usual mindset and goals, they'd probably have better luck.
Now, having watched most of the video, I can say -GET OUT OF ME HEAD MAN- that I really concur with a lot of the points made here about embracing your inner weirdo. Another point that I would like to mention is that even in the past where I try to "fake it til I make it", the 'tism and the subtle offness of my behavior and speech is enough to just make it a pointless endeavor anyway. I actually literally have a cartoon character style of wardrobe where I have a similar, if not same, black outfit for just about every day of the week. My past issues and resentments have cost me relationships, but my drip (That's what the hip kids say, right?) has gotten me compliments, especially my socks, which, while technically women's knee high socks, are so rare to see on people that it does draw looks. Hides all the fucked up scars, bulging calf veins, and bad shave jobs down there too.
Again, usual empty platitude of "good vid, ty" but with some actual sincerity, your videos are a proverbial message in a bottle.
This hits really hard, and I really appreciate you putting this out there for people.
I just recently left my biggest 'friend group', realizing that they were just always being mean-spirited to me, and I was masking my true self around them.
I am an bubbly/giggly ADHD weirdo boy with a higher/softer voice for a guy my age. My capacity to feel is extremely deep, and while kind to a fault, I'm horribly sensitive. I was bullied extremely hard growing up, and I ended up masking the things that made me *me* so hard that I lowered my voice and talked much less than I wanted to. I became a dimmer greyer version of myself. I struggled to participate in groups and conversations, and I realize now that it wasn't because I had a lack of things to say, but because I was trying to find the words within a "less annoying" version of me that didn't exist in the first place.
It's taken me getting to 28 to finally have friends that encourage me to be my real self, to be bubbly and excited about things without worrying that I'm talking to much, and it's brought out a lot of good in me I didn't know I had. I've gotten extremely deep into DMing for DND in FoundryVTT, when I never thought I'd have the courage to. I've started doing music again for the first time in ages. I opened my heart and my voice to others and have so many friends that are now telling me that I'm a wonderful storyteller, and a gem of a friend. I used to wear a lot of boring less colorful clothes, but now I've started wearing things like blue tights and shortalls, cute flowy things, and the response from those real friends has been wonderful.
"Witness my non-binary autistic splendor!"
Yeah, that, ehe~ Thanks friend, weird *is* cool. I don't want lukewarm acquaintances anymore either, they aren't fun.
It's great to have people you can ramble to about things you love !
Happines is when you don't have to pretend and watch what you say or think, I'm lucky to have friends like that. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not I can tell them everything.
Man up
@@QTwoSix ?
You're awesome. Keep having fun :)
@@character9999 Aww thank you that means a lot, I'll definitely try to
Thank you Lillian, I just started college and still feel like a kid with kid insecurities. And as an autist, seeing someone who has the same struggles but is doing okay gives me hope.
the truck get away bit had me giggling, then ace combat started and I started laughing.
"Normalcy is the antitheses of creation"
Damn, taking that one home with me.
I tried to get a more normal hobby instead of the computer. I became a weird metalhead/guitarist.
Rock on 🤘
Fellow metalhead !
@@GarbageLord6543 Hell yeah 😎🏳⚧ Metal trans gal fo' liiiife
Yay ❤️!
@@Suralin0YWNBAW!!!!
"what are they gonna do call the cops?"
Tennessee:
Hey!! I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. I was expecting a quick guide but your Honesty let me realize that I've hidden my weirdness for far too long to the detriment of myself, and I'll take the time to slowly be myself and try to present my true persona more often.
every single one of your videos is like life changing for me
A favorite quote of mine recently (I don't remember where it was from) is that "You can't afford to be normal in this economy"
Just wanna say, your videos are so relaxing and comforting! It’s nice to hear someone say this genuinely
1:44 is honestly so true for me, I guess, even though gaming isn't considered weird I just have a self defence barrier that stops me from discussing anything about my hobbies apart from making music and playing violin. Even though I have never really been bullied, mainly ignored 😆 I guess I think the person who I'm talking too would think it's stupid playing niche indie video games like Factorio. Also soundtrack selection in this video is crazy, loved playing Cassette beasts.
as someone who was a weird kid & miraculously didn't get mocked at/ ridiculed/ bullied , i am so thankful i had the abilities of confidence, sociability & somewhat awareness of what went around. bc tbh if i didn't had any of those, it wouldn't be easy 4 me to have the friends i have or experience the greatness that is growing up & having all of my special interests with me.
(i DID get side-eyed or side-laughed a LOT when i was a kid but that wasn't gonna stop me from being my true self!)
"By definition, normalcy is the anthitesis of creation" writing that down, writing that down
I relate alot to the things you said in this video.
I am always no nervous and scared of other people, I have cut and ripped off so much of myself to turn into a feeble shadow. I don’t really know what or who I am as I am a teenager but I know I have lost so much in my desperate attempt to accommodate every single thing perceived as “flaw” to others.
I won’t cut my hair if it means I look weird, I won’t wear what I want if it means being proper, I won’t wear face masks even if the comfort while wearing one is present, I won’t draw what I want or have the opinions I hold if it means fitting in properly.
This video was comforting, I have been slowly chipping away at my insistent need to be normal for months now but the process is slow and videos like this are of great help to reassure me that i’m doing right by me.
man kids don't know how poorly seen gaming was back then ... and now they walk around chilling with anime t-shirts 💀0:50
tomboys united regardless of gender regardless of neurotypical or neurodivergent regardless of sexuality tomboys United as one for all and all for one
0:23 this is irrelevant but CASSETTE BEASTS REFERENCE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
YEAH ME TOO!!!! SHDBSBSNDNDH
And when the OST actually started playing in a later part of the video! SO EPIC!!!
lilian how am i supposed to focus on the words coming out of your mouth when there is a banger ace combat OST occupying all of my neurones
Be utterly immersed in Ace Combat when you speak, buddy.
6:14 Thank you so much for saying this, I really needed that. For me improvement (ex: unmasking) always happens slowly, sometimes I regress, sometimes I forget abt it and need to pick back up. Change isn't always some explosive declaration, it's a process, and it can be really subtle. I'm glad smb feels like I do. :)
If you're reading this, you're valid to be who you truly are!
Appreciate!
No joke, I made so much friends when I start to embrace my interests. Perceiving myself as normal put down my confidence, and I became a shy kid throughout my childhood and teenhood. I am an adult and being "cringe" is probably the best thing I've ever done.
thank you for this. my entire life i've been more of a listener and an observer than any sort of active participant. there was a point when i came out and started to transition that i felt i was finally living my life, but once i started passing i've been feeling like a background character in my own life. it's gotten to the point my voice is super rusty from not being used for days at a time. i can count of my hands the amount of people who even know i exist and none of them know the real me. i'm working on it, trying to gain back the confidence i've lost through everything thats happened to me. recently i've been really caught up in transmedicalist ideas of having to prove i deserved my transition which has stripped me of any personal expression. but after watching this i put of makeup and jewelry. maybe one day i'll be ok.
& now i'm trying not to cry my makeup off
This is such a relatable experiences. From hiding the things I like so others can’t use them against me, to looking at the people I thought I knew, only to realize we’re just acquaintances and even not wearing clothes I think look cool or charming because they’d seem too different or weird to the people around me. It’s nice to see that others have had similar experiences and, over time, arrived at the similar conclusions about themselves and others. And if some day you managed to explain to your coworkers about playing D&D on the weekends, I’d love to know how.
OMG "NORMALCY IS THE ANTITHESIS TO CREATION" THAT'S BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU!
This video didn't teach me anything i haven't already been thinking, but in that same note it did so totally validate everything i've thought and felt for a long time, thank you so much for this!!
This video is so nice and cool.
As a nb person i feel you about the clothes part!!!
At the end, it's really really hard to pass as nb, and where i live is impossible (super gendered language, no they/them) but!!!! I dress in a way that people admire my style.
And you're right, being normal means nothing and it feels strange
?????
The step one to feeling good about being nonbinary is to realize that there is no such thing as nonbinary and you've been bamboozled by a foreign influence operation, and you should just feel good as whichever gender you were born as without complicating your life and destroying your self perception because someone told you that there's something wrong with you inherently.
@@ArchOfficial No such thing as being born a gender.
Yeah I imagine being NB is rough in more conservative countries, especially if the language itself doesn't even allow for gender neutrality and people are really opposed to any push to change them. That said, the only thing you can do is express yourself as freely as you can (so long as it's safe), and find community and people who accept you.
The Cassette Beasts music lit me up inside I'm so glad someone else sees the majesty in that game.
You're so right!! And I enjoy the editing of your video, along with the chase scene. Great work, always exciting and insightful to see a new vid of yours!
whoaaaa double video upload
It's neat watching these videos and seeing you go through experiences similar to what I went through, in particular watching you grow and learning to let you be you. It's one of the hardest lessons to learn, and though I slip up and fall into my old mindset occasionally, I'm much better now than what I used to be. Keep it up, you're doing great work!
Thanks for encouraging people to be themself
The editing is so awesome!
3:50 🥹🥹🥹thsi section was very much needed
hey I just wanted to say thank you, I hope I can be like you when I get older, I loved the part where you said that confidence is about knowing you'll be okay, I really resonate with that so much I can't put it to words, thank you thank you
Thank you for making this video genuinely. I'm someone whose super anxious and deeply insecure/ashamed of who I was my entire life. Yet I realize a lot of my own friends I still have now are ones who stayed with me and liked me for my weirdness. We weird people need to stick together. ✨️
I related so much to "I don't like playing Face QWOP"
Pre-pandemic I wore them on the commute to work specifically because of that. When someone asks why I usually reasoned that its because of the smog (which does exist but its just a secondary reason to why im wearing them)
I'm also an autistic tomboy/enby weirdo and went 22 years without being diagnosed. I hid behind my intelligence and good grades, conventional attractiveness, artistic talent, plain fashion, being very quiet, and having just enough social ability to have one super best friend throughout my school years who I relied on for all of my other satellite friends who I wouldn't hang out with one-on-one, but in groups. I was miserable, insecure, and lonely though.
Now that I'm diagnosed I'm learning how to survive the adult world in a whole new way. It's been a relief. I give myself and ask for so many more accommodations and have almost no shame about them now. I dress in alternative fashion and makeup that makes me feel like myself. Now that I have confidence I also attract all sorts of romantic attention, which has been good and bad, especially when I'm "manic pixie dream girl-zoned", which has also been a learning process to navigate.
Also learning to navigate who is safe enough to tell about my diagnosis and who isn't has been hard. I have a tendency to over share too soon and I'm working on that. But I also have a lot more genuine friends now just from being open and honest and myself! Turns out sometimes people think it's hilarious and endearing when you're super honest and blunt.
this is all incredibly valuable information, literally just own yourself in all you do. Be into weird shit unapologetically, own the work you do at your job, own where you live and keep it well, own your successes and your failures. You're not perfect, no one is.
I love your videos, they are so relaxing and reassuring, and they really hit the right spot. This one resonates with me because I spent my high school years and post pretty much trying to not be noticed and keeping everything to myself. Only now I'm starting to understand how much I actually hate that and how much useless stress I'm putting on myself for no reason by thinking so much about what others may think.
I feel like I made myself more boring and denied deeper connections for closing in myself.
I'm only now starting to feel the desire to express my thoughts freely and act however I want. (in case anyone may ask this, I don't have the desire to push a sharp object into someone's else body)
"Witness my non-binary autistic splender" goes hard tho
Be your weird, wonderful self. It scares away fake people who just want to use you.
This is the mentality I try to keep unless I'm interacting with a stranger that I'll never see again but even then I only tone it down.
I'm not saying you're wrong, you're very positive and we need more people like you in the world, but reality shows that people, especially kids are being discriminated against and even being a victim of violence due to their appearance.
Your last two vids(this and the unmasking one) really helped me through this time period im going through.
Thanks, genuinely
bro gas masks are so cool, the ones you commonly see with media when someone is spray painting
2:52 Yes! so true. I felt others who do not know me just found me friendlier when I wore a mask. There's also the whole hiding the beard thing
"Not having to worry about making the right facial expressions." is so relatable.
I feel like lillian says everything I need to hear every single time 😭
Facemasks are indeed cute and comfy. Great video. As my mother loves to say: "Normal is a setting on the dryer." I know the mask can be difficult, but I hope one day you can fully be yourself. You deserve it.
wow i think i got recommended this video exactly when i needed it, thank you so much. i will take these lessons and apply them when im interacting with others in the future. you constantly hear, “just be yourself!” in every sort of human interaction advice but i dont think anyone articulated just what that means like you did. you deserve the world.
and good god i think it’s finally time i get myself some new friends-
I was kinda on the road to this and this helped me a lot.
I unfortunately can't go all the way with it because of shity parents, so I'll guess I'll try to get through it until I'm out and then I'm gonna do whatever I want and be the weirdest shithead i can be :3
I found out throughout recent years that the key to being happy with yourself and getting to make deep connections with people is ACCEPTANCE.
Time and time again I would feel bad about myself, especially when trying to chase an ideal version of myself that I thought I had to become to be liked. If I judged someone in my head, if I thought about something negative, I would torture myself. Like if I was betraying the perfect (and non existent) version of myself.
The kickstart for my change was oddly enough a tumblr post which talked about confidence: "Confidence isn't the absence of insecurity but knowing that you have real worth despite it". This helped me understand that confidence wasn't about being a hero, or a pure-hearted person, but to be someone who chooses to accept his flaws as part of himself and still do good things.
I've been growing as a person steadily throughout these last years. I've made many first steps. And man, if you are confident about what you like, people will notice. Friends have started showing interest in fashion or skincare (which being a cishet male is not that common, so I feel like I am making a positive impact in my friends as well).
Ironically, letting go of my worries, winging it and just accepting that I am a weird silly little guy with a lot of quirks has given me the best years of my life and my most meaningful relationships.
Please, be yourselves, never stop being yourselves. Even if it's just you in the end, you will at least live the way you want to
I'm a fairly confident person, but, like anyone, I've got some stuff to work through. And let me tell you, the way the line "shame is the antithesis to confidence" hit me in the fucking chest.. yeesh. It's kind of exactly what I needed to hear as I shed off the last 10% of my mask. Great video!
My NB 11 year old still wears facemasks, and at first I was like ‘dude, you are awesome and you don’t need to hide,’ but as time has gone on, I realized it has been so wonderful for them to not have to worry about how their facial expressions may get analyzed. I’m autistic (actually diagnosed), and I can highly relate to their struggle.
this is my own time, as a chubby+nerdy enby i had a bad bad time starting to go to the gym consistently, but every single time ive gone everyones been minding their own business, and hell often I get compliments about my cat eat headphones that I wear (not bc i want attention but bc they are the only wireless headphones i have). it was very refreshing seeing how little everyone actually cares about what you are doing.
do the weird thing, no one cares, have fun and if anything you’ll be the interesting person in the crowd.
"Don't let anyone tell you that you're being you wrong." Couldn't have said it better myself, thank you for that.
1:50 That woman has a witch dress and cape. She shouldn't be judging anybody for not looking normal.
You're you, not anyone else. So choose you, not the words they expect you to be. Don't lie to yourself on who you are as a person just to satisfy other people who don't even care about you. if anything, you're just gonna dig yourself deeper into that self-deception, blinding yourself on layers upon layers of illusion until you think that illusion is who you truly are, even though it's not. Be you, be happy.
God, I just... love... everything about this, this whole channel, no- YOU, you little lilian, you are such a breath of fresh air, something truly strange, different, something giving a new perspective on this weird and wonderful thing called life.
And if you want my two cents: I beleive people will ALWAYS come to like something aslong as there is confidence placed in it. As soon as anything loses confidence in itself - wether that be a person or creation - it all comes tumbling down, wether people see and understand it or not.
I can't even focus on what lilian is saying 😭 The background is so randommmm i love it so muchhh💗💗💗💗
This is actually a trap, we're weird and these things, people, normies are just waiting for us to be caught lacking, keep your walls up people, be safe
You’re definitely speaking a lot of stuff into my mind that will most def boost my confidence and feeling of self worth. Appreciate you cuz
The expectation thing is soooo relatable. People can have such high expectations and say it’s for your better but it’s like they are trying to dump me in a box and remould me how they want
Im not even autistic or non binary but this shi hits hard
This video found me at a perfect time. I used to be a lot more energetic and silly when I was younger and would end up internalizing it from repeated negative comments. THe masking put in in a chronic state of burnout and now I'm finally learning to accept who I am. After all, all my childhood friends that I still talk to today befriended me for my weird and openminded side, and the more I learn to unmask the happier I become. I'm lucky to have found so many friends that like me for who I truly am and It's all because of me not hiding my silly sides!
The people who don't vibe with you will leave, and the ones who do will stay!
4:26 is a perfect "Draw your Oc wearing this" idea
Love your profile picture, really cute, lots of love from another spider enjoyer!❤
@@xarao aw thank you ::,u,:: love yours too!
There is this one kind of thing that happened 3 or 4 times in my life.
On differents occasions, I ended up having long convesations with people I barely knew at the time. Some I never got the chance to talk to again after. They would easily talk about their "wierd" interests as if they trusted me to be open about it. I would listen to them, confused about how they could just talk about it with someone they just met, and I would feel a single emotion: a really, really strong admiration. To this day i'm still puzzled as to why it was this strong. I wished these moments would never end, that I could listen to them talk about it forever. Of course I had to end somehow.
Of all the things that happened in my life, I feel like those are the ones I would forget last.
I wish I could be like them, but how could I? I was taught my entire life not to.