Oblivion NPC Aggression - Hammer Wielding Ogre

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  • Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2024
  • Plus-sized bald ogre wielding a hammer approaches in an aggressive manner

Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @Zop.
    @Zop.  3 года назад +191

    second channel: ruclips.net/user/zop22

    • @uabir8338
      @uabir8338 2 года назад

      What is the source of this video?

    • @bastian8830
      @bastian8830 2 года назад

      Wow. The future meets the past. Just ... Wow. Let the Grand Divines continue to guide your brushstrokes, great Wanderer Otter-kin. Aa aa, ne ne ne aa.

    • @bastian8830
      @bastian8830 2 года назад

      Amen.

    • @francisferdinand9202
      @francisferdinand9202 2 года назад +2

      I like how the 19 year old has the default hair style

    • @kaiobikeg8749
      @kaiobikeg8749 2 года назад

      @@francisferdinand9202 haha

  • @leroyjones6958
    @leroyjones6958 2 года назад +7600

    I like how Mr. Hammer just remained silent throughout this entire ordeal.

    • @tungmiyaynusnbahls8936
      @tungmiyaynusnbahls8936 2 года назад +149

      Silent but deadly 😏

    • @derederekat9051
      @derederekat9051 2 года назад +96

      sigma object.

    • @mohamedomar6862
      @mohamedomar6862 2 года назад +77

      He knows that barking dogs seldom bite...His mere presence is enough.

    • @emanuelperez3595
      @emanuelperez3595 2 года назад +18

      Hammer dont talk. Hammer dont take shit from anybody. Is like an anime. That hammer had already killed mentally everyone iver 10000 times and stroke fear in them. Draw back back is it requires 0 intelligence to be weilded all in streghth dexterity and half of stamina.

    • @danashane
      @danashane 2 года назад +6

      I'm wondering what Mr. & Mrs. ManBoobs have to say about the situation.

  • @chrishateley5582
    @chrishateley5582 3 года назад +8972

    "Me and Mr. Hammer are gonna have a party," is the best NPC quote I've ever heard.

    • @gjh400
      @gjh400 3 года назад +193

      Mrs. Hammers out of town.

    • @Inexpressable
      @Inexpressable 3 года назад +18

      Sounds like something Inigo would say if you gave him a warhammer lmao

    • @realmcoy4696
      @realmcoy4696 3 года назад +11

      Lmao

    • @danieldeelite
      @danieldeelite 3 года назад +16

      Omg I've been this guy

    • @Xk9913
      @Xk9913 3 года назад +15

      Hahahhahhahahhaha its even better than arrow in da knee

  • @cupofshutupjuice
    @cupofshutupjuice 3 года назад +6754

    He didn’t have enough gold to pay the angry blacksmith.

  • @Boviathan
    @Boviathan 2 года назад +534

    Imagine this playing in the courtroom with the oblivion music on it

    • @Zop.
      @Zop.  2 года назад +64

      lol the judge will love it

    • @chaosdweller
      @chaosdweller Год назад +2

      Yer name 🤣 ......how's the crops /livestock?

    • @IndigoSignature1234
      @IndigoSignature1234 Год назад +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣way too funny lmao

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 10 месяцев назад +2

      Haha!

    • @MusMasi
      @MusMasi 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@chaosdweller take care!!

  • @daghul4785
    @daghul4785 3 года назад +3702

    How can you seriously say “me and Mr. hammer are gonna have a party” and get mad when someone chuckles?

  • @greyk610
    @greyk610 3 года назад +9896

    I vividly remember my mother crying about her favorite garden gnome going missing back in 2003. I'll have to let her know that he's been incarcerated for the past 18 years

    • @nicholasmorgan7609
      @nicholasmorgan7609 3 года назад +196

      I'm sure she'll be happy to see he's free again

    • @cptnsnow
      @cptnsnow 3 года назад +107

      Underrated comment!! 😂

    • @sorwoggpm
      @sorwoggpm 3 года назад +98

      *stands up and applauds*

    • @jopalolive
      @jopalolive 3 года назад +32

      He would look better with his red pointy cap

    • @candiceisrandom4692
      @candiceisrandom4692 3 года назад +14

      Lmao 😅

  • @zck2020
    @zck2020 2 года назад +3884

    I love how he's trying to complain, intimidate, look cool, and be a dad all at the same time (and failing).

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 2 года назад +48

      Haha! Totally underrated comment!

    • @Colonies_Dev
      @Colonies_Dev 2 года назад +4

      this is why i carry a pistol, freaks like this ain't got a chance

    • @db4695
      @db4695 2 года назад +2

      @@Colonies_Dev yeah, I’d rather not be at the mercy of a random psycho like this

    • @eedobee
      @eedobee 2 года назад +13

      I came back for this comment

    • @mercylavigne
      @mercylavigne 2 года назад +1

      @@syjay Reality: You get hit and dies from Mr.Hammer strikes

  • @Blake4625kHz
    @Blake4625kHz 2 года назад +172

    Guns don't kill people, Mr. Hammer does

  • @canadianrage5224
    @canadianrage5224 3 года назад +7549

    You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you walk around with a hammer and brag about how long you’ve been in prison for to kids 1/3 your age.

    • @italianmiltyfriedman6264
      @italianmiltyfriedman6264 3 года назад +372

      HE HIT ROCK BOTTOM 3 DECADES AGO

    • @user-hv3xv4xs6j
      @user-hv3xv4xs6j 3 года назад +206

      @@italianmiltyfriedman6264 living in a van, down by the river

    • @darrencullen8015
      @darrencullen8015 3 года назад +12

      @James Cricket lol mr hammer!!!! you almost make this situation wholesome!!

    • @doGInVain
      @doGInVain 3 года назад +5

      @James Cricket 😭😭😭😭 just stop!!!! I'm crying for real lmao

    • @Michaelsp18
      @Michaelsp18 3 года назад +5

      @@user-hv3xv4xs6j rip Farley 🙏🏻

  • @jeppanl
    @jeppanl 3 года назад +5867

    These kids don't know that he is wielding the Legendary Hammer of Hammerfell. Stats: -3 agility -1 luck. Special attack: 2% chance of having a party

  • @Blakelikesfood
    @Blakelikesfood 3 года назад +2913

    Level 1 boss:
    Height: 5'1"
    Weight: 325lbs
    Weapon: Dollar Store hammer

  • @nugget3846
    @nugget3846 2 года назад +327

    "I'm a smart ass. How do you think I survived in a prison?"
    Sir, smart people usually don't do things that's gonna end you up in a prison...

    • @griefx1933
      @griefx1933 2 года назад +21

      and they definitely don’t get caught

    • @wenaolong
      @wenaolong 2 года назад +2

      But he's also ready to claim that he really meant the "prison of life itself" if Mr. Hammer threats don't work out.

    • @00zero11b
      @00zero11b Год назад +1

      Lmao...you win

    • @thewiseowl8804
      @thewiseowl8804 Год назад

      smart ass is different than smart, dumb ass

    • @nugget3846
      @nugget3846 Год назад

      @@thewiseowl8804 thanks for letting me know that, assface

  • @grt1769
    @grt1769 3 года назад +2620

    "Use your head"
    *Proceeds to publicly threaten people while wielding a hammer*

    • @ondik9940
      @ondik9940 3 года назад +67

      On a tape

    • @chrisw647
      @chrisw647 3 года назад +65

      After getting out of prison...

    • @DonatelloBeatbox
      @DonatelloBeatbox 3 года назад +7

      In the beginning he says he’s won’t use it on them so maybe that clears him lmao

    • @grt1769
      @grt1769 3 года назад +14

      @@DonatelloBeatbox He's still threating to damage someone's property, which he could be liable for had he done it.

    • @aba192
      @aba192 3 года назад +12

      Speak softly and carry a big hammer.

  • @mrplainview9040
    @mrplainview9040 3 года назад +1732

    "Don't laugh... Mr. Hammer don't like it when people laugh."

  • @buyerofsorts
    @buyerofsorts 2 года назад +2403

    "I'll go to prison for 10-15 years but you guys will have to buy a new one out of your pocket" He says as if they'll be getting the worst deal, not him. lol.

    • @h001139
      @h001139 2 года назад +30

      Lmao

    • @alizarkami6187
      @alizarkami6187 2 года назад +63

      Bro breaking a speaker won't land you in prison for 15 years 😂😂

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 2 года назад +164

      @@alizarkami6187 I'm only going by what the Ogre said....

    • @alizarkami6187
      @alizarkami6187 2 года назад +4

      @@buyerofsorts yea but he didn't say that

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 2 года назад +96

      @@alizarkami6187 Yes he did now I'm done with this. If we keep going, we're going to be as bad as the Hammer wielding Ogre himself!

  • @COOKIEMONSTER90
    @COOKIEMONSTER90 2 года назад +18

    He was one step away from paying with his blood

  • @chuckhoward4364
    @chuckhoward4364 3 года назад +6856

    Me, and Mr. 🔨 are gonna have a party

    • @dfuqhesay2700
      @dfuqhesay2700 3 года назад +193

      I laughed way too hard at this.

    • @victoraizenwilson4432
      @victoraizenwilson4432 3 года назад +70

      I lost my shit at this part top 10 anime moments!!!🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

    • @DB19899
      @DB19899 3 года назад +26

      Thisnis what I imagine shoe nice 22 to be like in 10 years 😂

    • @victoraizenwilson4432
      @victoraizenwilson4432 3 года назад +4

      @Submission 666 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @davidfgeo4882
      @davidfgeo4882 3 года назад +9

      Rolling on the floor omg 😂😂

  • @ChiggyChiggyChiggy
    @ChiggyChiggyChiggy 2 года назад +1798

    "You gotta have more sense than that"
    -Guy threatening to beat 19 year olds with a hammer

    • @HA-me3ed
      @HA-me3ed 2 года назад +35

      He was threatening to destroy the speaker, not beat them

    • @ChiggyChiggyChiggy
      @ChiggyChiggyChiggy 2 года назад

      "I got no problem beating the fuck out of you."
      -Guy threatening to beat 19 year olds with a hammer

    • @grimreaperhenrik
      @grimreaperhenrik 2 года назад +119

      @@HA-me3ed he responded ''then I got no problem beating the fuck out of you then'' that is the most humanlike live speaker I ever saw

    • @tomcolton5662
      @tomcolton5662 2 года назад +28

      Just done 18 years in joint. Gotta have more sense than that...

    • @adabsurdum5905
      @adabsurdum5905 2 года назад +48

      @@HA-me3ed he literally said he would beat the hell out of them and go back to prison.

  • @safesoundequine8511
    @safesoundequine8511 3 года назад +3524

    He def was ready to be released back into society...

    • @dxublexxsplicitxxsplicit4943
      @dxublexxsplicitxxsplicit4943 3 года назад +52

      I believe so yes

    • @oneabove1111
      @oneabove1111 3 года назад +23

      This is my whole mood.

    • @Twitch_Moderator
      @Twitch_Moderator 3 года назад +34

      Who gives a shit? Someone is willing to say NO to someone being a nuisance and people need to oust them. 😒 Cool logic. The hammer only ensures his victory.

    • @AngryShooter
      @AngryShooter 3 года назад +209

      They never are because prisons in the U.S have zero focus on rehabilitation.

    • @jacobj6376
      @jacobj6376 3 года назад +151

      Doubt he ever was in prison mf's love to use that as a scare tactic

  • @biffwellington1782
    @biffwellington1782 2 года назад +29

    I love it when people bring up their prison stint like it makes them some kind of badass.

  • @Pizza4Lunch
    @Pizza4Lunch 3 года назад +2508

    "Don't laugh, this aint funny"
    It's pretty funny

    • @Knight_Of_Eleum_Loyce
      @Knight_Of_Eleum_Loyce 3 года назад +8

      You're the type to end up of being beaten to shit because of that attitude.

    • @frostedlambs
      @frostedlambs 3 года назад +29

      @Sunny Rio you can't attack people for making noise and I actually doubt hes been to prison since he keep saying it to scare them and shit like "how do think I survived in prison" if you were that dumb in prison you'd get your ass beat, if he was serious they'd already be hurt

    • @frostedlambs
      @frostedlambs 3 года назад +20

      @Sunny Rio "officer It was in self defense THEY MADE A NOISE"
      Police: wait a noise? Ok your free to go

    • @tomothybahamothy
      @tomothybahamothy 3 года назад +4

      @Sunny Rio loser

    • @ryanc2927
      @ryanc2927 3 года назад +4

      Well I’ll beat you
      “You can try”
      “Throw the first one”
      *music*
      “I’m not going to throw it”
      ....discusses prison
      *music kicks up & fades

  • @coultonharmon2266
    @coultonharmon2266 3 года назад +3366

    "I'll go back to prison for ten years but jokes on you because you will have to spend $100-$200"

    • @fortunatejeremy
      @fortunatejeremy 3 года назад +282

      Lol yeah he needs to rethink his cost - benefit analysis.

    • @Urbicid
      @Urbicid 3 года назад +80

      That is what I told my family members before investing my life savings in crypto.

    • @nadrojfan
      @nadrojfan 3 года назад +3

      🤦

    • @ridgecrestwack9746
      @ridgecrestwack9746 3 года назад +5

      @@Urbicid noo 😂😂

    • @Gervardo
      @Gervardo 3 года назад +21

      at the end of the day, the kid would be spending more money than the hammer guy

  • @ismyenglishgood9501
    @ismyenglishgood9501 3 года назад +1903

    Mr. Hammer has been a bad influence on him.

    • @BossClown9
      @BossClown9 3 года назад +14

      lmao

    • @DaveGab
      @DaveGab 3 года назад +4

      @@BossClown9 yep😂

    • @cameron6538
      @cameron6538 3 года назад +6

      the one hammer to rule them all

    • @tanupreet
      @tanupreet 3 года назад +7

      I laughed so hard after reading this

    • @santosdr2
      @santosdr2 3 года назад +3

      only when he is hammered.

  • @millionfps
    @millionfps 2 года назад +19

    “Me and Mr. Hammer are gonna have a party”
    Mr. Hammer: Nah dude I think I wanna stay with the kids

  • @robg1163
    @robg1163 3 года назад +1069

    *realizes he just made numerous murder threats on tape*
    "Not on you guys".

    • @andrewbyrnes6389
      @andrewbyrnes6389 3 года назад +12

      You’re lucky I’m just kidding

    • @noone12748
      @noone12748 2 месяца назад

      The ogre is more cunning than he looks

  • @mr.100rupees3
    @mr.100rupees3 2 года назад +2739

    Dont underestimate him, he's maxed out the stats on that hammer

    • @chabot4006
      @chabot4006 2 года назад +25

      yeah he did the resto loop. in prison.

    • @Justapilot_9700
      @Justapilot_9700 2 года назад +2

      oh I know you! but mr Karl Rock probably wish he didnt

    • @ommsterlitz1805
      @ommsterlitz1805 2 года назад +4

      He got some southern French blood in him people call him Charles the Hammer 😅

    • @CIA.2024-u9b
      @CIA.2024-u9b 2 года назад +6

      It does 30 lightening plus 30 ice damage and takes your soul if you die within 10 secs.

    • @thegreygodoffixial9680
      @thegreygodoffixial9680 2 года назад +2

      + 20 Fire Damage and Stamina Depletion

  • @apancher
    @apancher 3 года назад +848

    The opportunity to say "it's hammertime" was missed, and I am really disappointed.

  • @powerboon2k
    @powerboon2k 2 года назад +51

    When someone spends 18 years inside and comes out looking like the michelin man you do not really have to worry about what they can do to you. Unless you are a buffet.

    • @Azazel2024
      @Azazel2024 7 месяцев назад +1

      Sure tough guy

  • @philocan426
    @philocan426 3 года назад +1709

    “Gotta have more sense than that” as he’s holding a hammer.

    • @Twitch_Moderator
      @Twitch_Moderator 3 года назад +25

      Holding a hammer makes a point. Seems like sense indeed actually.

    • @FreakMeat74
      @FreakMeat74 3 года назад +64

      @@Twitch_Moderator It makes a point that old man has no sense lol

    • @saucysetsdunn469
      @saucysetsdunn469 3 года назад +7

      Then I’ll have no problem beatin the fuq outta you

    • @rewind12354
      @rewind12354 3 года назад

      😂

    • @rewind12354
      @rewind12354 3 года назад +6

      And hes just been released after 18 years for beating the hell out of someone lol.

  • @citystar2318
    @citystar2318 3 года назад +1000

    Mr. Hammer was like, “cmon, man, you’re making a scene. You just got out…”.

    • @spinalcompression1603
      @spinalcompression1603 3 года назад +6

      This comment had me Rollin

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 3 года назад +7

      "Stop talking, swing me. Shut up dude. Oh my god just do it. Kill everybody."
      Ogre: "Mr. Hammer is really angry now..."
      "FU"

    • @slipperyjim4155
      @slipperyjim4155 3 года назад +1

      Holy shit, these comments lmao

    • @aldude999
      @aldude999 3 года назад +1

      Yeah, and he was like "Mikeyy!"

    • @botlarry4437
      @botlarry4437 3 года назад +7

      Mr hammer just get dragged into this guys shit all day.

  • @Aerba54
    @Aerba54 3 года назад +2901

    I NEED a full documentary on this man's life, professionally narrated, 2 versions: one from his own exaggerated perspective, and one from everybody else-4 hours for each version.

    • @vincemarquez2142
      @vincemarquez2142 3 года назад +42

      Sounds like you'll be disappointed. Have fun watching that

    • @jstarsing5560
      @jstarsing5560 3 года назад +78

      Shut up and take my money

    • @Tucq
      @Tucq 3 года назад +9

      Okay so do we get to see the other people's narrative first or his? I'd want to watch the other people's narrative first and then his just to see his make an ass out of himself

    • @Aerba54
      @Aerba54 3 года назад +58

      @@Tucq We watch them both simultaneously, side by side, and a third perspective comes in every time Mr. Hammer gets some action.

    • @cryptosporidium01
      @cryptosporidium01 3 года назад +30

      Narrated by Morgan Freeman

  • @DrifterSpirit9
    @DrifterSpirit9 2 года назад +199

    Feel sorry for the man...he obviously is full of fears,regrets and too many voices in his head...I hope he finds peace with himself

    • @Blake4625kHz
      @Blake4625kHz 2 года назад +12

      And that is probably true

    • @thebeginner4075
      @thebeginner4075 Год назад +48

      That all comes from Mr. Hammer. I hope he got rid of him by now

    • @RIGAUX_
      @RIGAUX_ Год назад +5

      Only the nine divines know how many times hes been called a S’wit and an N’wah in his time in morrowind

    • @lokivato
      @lokivato Год назад +4

      He found a big burrito

    • @rohlay00
      @rohlay00 Год назад +4

      Mr Hammer speaks through him

  • @redeyejedi9504
    @redeyejedi9504 3 года назад +956

    He only wanted to tell his story on how he battled and defeated the dementors in prison cell block C.

    • @DC-cl4jx
      @DC-cl4jx 3 года назад +23

      Prison Mike!

    • @kylerichards9024
      @kylerichards9024 3 года назад +7

      This is the best comment on youtube

    • @sivartb7273
      @sivartb7273 3 года назад +1

      We don't talk about the implications.

    • @nippolopolis4431
      @nippolopolis4431 3 года назад +2

      In prison your someones bitch. This guy would be da belle of da ball.

    • @calebbennett563
      @calebbennett563 3 года назад +3

      @@nippolopolis4431 this guy is actually considered 2 bitches.... That's why bubba traded him for 20 packs of cigs and a cup of toilet wine.

  • @crispychicken2003
    @crispychicken2003 3 года назад +2015

    The second they laugh at his threats, it hurts his ego and then he just attempts to be tough and scary for the rest of the video to gain validation as some sort of badass… to a group of kids……

    • @switchitup5446
      @switchitup5446 3 года назад +108

      Yep, nobody is scared of angry santa and if he tried to hit one they would jump him and just beat him up with his own hammer lmao

    • @elgee
      @elgee 3 года назад +29

      Bet he has never been to jail either or I expect he would have done a lot worse than threats.

    • @DARKSHADEBLADE
      @DARKSHADEBLADE 3 года назад +29

      Right though the moment he said he just got out I called bullshit on his whole act anybody who says that is 95% of the time hiding behind an empty threat

    • @colbyd.5044
      @colbyd.5044 3 года назад +10

      He’s just an old head leave em be 😂

    • @user-db5ol4ku6d
      @user-db5ol4ku6d 3 года назад +12

      @·Mephistopheles · Fr, a hammer takes one hit and you're dead probably.

  • @Count.Ravioli
    @Count.Ravioli 2 года назад +585

    "Yeah, I'm a smart-ass. How you think I survived in prison?"
    "Sir, will you promise not to swing that hammer if I answer this honestly?"

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 2 года назад +8

      Haha!

    • @michaelschmidt7491
      @michaelschmidt7491 2 года назад +21

      Massively underrated comment 🤣🤣🤣

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 2 года назад

      He was going to destroy them without throwing a punch...by swallowing them with his ass.

    • @sonice9020
      @sonice9020 2 года назад +37

      he survived in prison by using his head motion

    • @naved1313
      @naved1313 2 года назад

      @@madamohammed94 tbf people dont go to prison because they are dumb either.

  • @ArunPlaysPiano
    @ArunPlaysPiano 2 года назад +53

    The "you're alright" at the end definitely confirmed for me that he's an npc

  • @RandomIndie
    @RandomIndie 3 года назад +333

    I'm going to play this video for my kids and tell them this is Santa when you're on the bad list.

  • @nickyborrisino
    @nickyborrisino 3 года назад +664

    I’m pretty sure the ogre is violating his parole by threatening people with hammers.

    • @labibbidabibbadum
      @labibbidabibbadum 3 года назад +146

      No, I read his parole conditions and they specifically allow him to attack or threaten to attack other citizens, but only with a hammer.

    • @gjh400
      @gjh400 3 года назад +46

      @@labibbidabibbadum in between the hours of 2 and 6 Monday Wednesdays and Fridays.

    • @kenyenmusic7548
      @kenyenmusic7548 3 года назад +4

      @@labibbidabibbadum 🤣🤣

    • @Quantum_015
      @Quantum_015 3 года назад +8

      Nah you see the way he was programmed is to hold the hammer at all times even while he shits showers & sleep & his parole officer understands this .

    • @MatthewVanston
      @MatthewVanston 3 года назад +4

      @@gjh400 AM or PM?

  • @joiion913
    @joiion913 3 года назад +431

    Plot twist: he didn’t “get out” of prison he dug his way out, using Mr. Hammer no less.

    • @doGInVain
      @doGInVain 3 года назад +2

      🐐

    • @sivartb7273
      @sivartb7273 3 года назад +5

      He hit the dirt with his hammers until he saw light.

    • @GUNNYCANUCK
      @GUNNYCANUCK 3 года назад +1

      From those man tit's he's sporting...he chewed his way out.

    • @arminiusofgermania
      @arminiusofgermania 3 года назад +1

      He is a dwarf and he dug a hole.
      Diggy diggy hole.

    • @sugacanebeats17
      @sugacanebeats17 3 года назад +1

      oh shit hes John Henry

  • @GFAWapollo
    @GFAWapollo 2 года назад +7

    "Don't laugh, because it's not funny"
    Literally the worst thing you can hear if you aren't allowed to laugh

    • @sirgeekalot4380
      @sirgeekalot4380 5 месяцев назад

      Bro my brain would immiediatly become my worst enemy

  • @yourselfdotcomlol
    @yourselfdotcomlol 3 года назад +957

    The fact he is proud of his prison ranks is a good sign of his intelligence overall

    • @WeebRemover4500
      @WeebRemover4500 3 года назад +27

      not if its all delusion

    • @kingc8531
      @kingc8531 3 года назад +69

      Who needs intelligence when you have Mr Hammer;)

    • @1wiilover802hater
      @1wiilover802hater 2 года назад +6

      lol he’s certainly lying no way this pussy has ever spent time in an actual prison maybe a night locked up in jail for drunk and disorderly tho 🤣

    • @theremnant117
      @theremnant117 2 года назад +3

      @@1wiilover802hater I don't know if he's a psy (youtube wont let me) but he's definitely an ogre as the title suggests LOL at the very least

    • @samuelhawkins4147
      @samuelhawkins4147 2 года назад +3

      I never thought id go to jail but I just did 6 months.. The ones who were in there that had done prison time were were proud of that. Its a "badge of criminalality"

  • @Coconutca
    @Coconutca 3 года назад +356

    “I just got out of prison” you probably shouldn’t be breaking your parole then.

    • @Schizohandlers
      @Schizohandlers 3 года назад +11

      Yeah you probably know a lot about prison, didn't you steal my bike?

    • @dylancantrell6088
      @dylancantrell6088 3 года назад +6

      Not all who are released are on parole some people take extra time just to avoid it

    • @sivartb7273
      @sivartb7273 3 года назад

      @@Schizohandlers Did find out before or after you paid for it? Maybe you can still return it to the owner.

  • @adolescentmusic9784
    @adolescentmusic9784 3 года назад +186

    Sounds like he just wanted to tell someone about him being in prison

    • @Ghoulicus
      @Ghoulicus 3 года назад +5

      Lol, he just wanted a friend

    • @mikehunt3746
      @mikehunt3746 3 года назад

      DUDE XD 🤣👍

    • @botlarry4437
      @botlarry4437 3 года назад +1

      Excuse me sir. Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, cell block D

    • @gooacnt707
      @gooacnt707 3 года назад +1

      He was dodging taxes or some white collar shit got road rage on his way to accounting office lol

  • @veiserexab1428
    @veiserexab1428 Год назад +9

    You know you hit rock bottom when your threatening your kids with a hammer and starting to tell your backstory

  • @DrWaSaBe
    @DrWaSaBe 3 года назад +392

    “You gotta have more sense”, said the hammer wielding santa as he continued harassing kids a quarter of his age

    • @issamoshi
      @issamoshi 3 года назад +7

      Well in a sense he got a point lol Because when you are arguing with a hammer wielding crazy person you might actually end up dead.
      It is never wise to argue with a person like this

    • @SA77888
      @SA77888 3 года назад

      exactly

    • @nerdstorma8427
      @nerdstorma8427 3 года назад +3

      I just like how he SWITCHES UP from THREATS (I could go back to prison, I got no problem with beating you up) to LIFE ADVICE AND LEGITIMATE CONCERN FROM A DISAPOINTED UNCLE (you gotta have more sense than that, you ok? You alright?) Like what?

    • @VolatileViolet
      @VolatileViolet 3 года назад

      @@issamoshi It's almost always a bluff.

    • @issamoshi
      @issamoshi 3 года назад

      @@VolatileViolet But why risk it with "almost" if you may lose your life over a stupid argument with a crazy person!

  • @meatball4801
    @meatball4801 3 года назад +861

    I’m siding with George R.R. Martin on this one. I’m sure he was only trying to finish A Song of Fire and Ice and these guys were being too loud.

    • @fortunatejeremy
      @fortunatejeremy 3 года назад +22

      Yeah they should stop distracting him so he can finish already. I've been waiting like 10 years for the next book.

    • @DirtyMike124x
      @DirtyMike124x 3 года назад +8

      LMFAO

    • @ErokLobotomist
      @ErokLobotomist 3 года назад +10

      This would actually be a better excuse than the ones GRRM has been using.

    • @brecht2210
      @brecht2210 3 года назад

      Bruh XD

    • @Nate_M123
      @Nate_M123 3 года назад +2

      GRRM lmfao

  • @rockierok3899
    @rockierok3899 3 года назад +182

    If he and Mr. Hammer are going to have a party, wouldn't they want some loud music?

    • @sadistikjustice8258
      @sadistikjustice8258 3 года назад +3

      Could def go some Run DMC...

    • @legendaryra3590
      @legendaryra3590 2 года назад +15

      Hit the nail on the head

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 2 года назад +3

      Haha! Under appreciated comment!

    • @tetra6219
      @tetra6219 Год назад +1

      It'd have been so funny if one of the kids said that. 😂

  • @Niggleblade1986
    @Niggleblade1986 2 года назад +3

    Mr hammer was just there like "stop lying man, why you always gota get me involved 🙄"

  • @captainireland1375
    @captainireland1375 3 года назад +203

    "Me & Mr. Hammer are gonna have a party"
    > perhaps this would ease your frustration *( bribe 100 gold )*

    • @DaveGab
      @DaveGab 3 года назад +3

      Lmao that would have been hilarious to see the character path for paying the 100 gold

    • @Hunne2303
      @Hunne2303 2 года назад +4

      "Thank you kind Sir!"

    • @Blody1337
      @Blody1337 2 года назад +1

      "I'll pay you a 100 bucks to fuck off"

  • @propermint1
    @propermint1 3 года назад +275

    I love how he has been used by Mr hammer this whole time. The evil genius has him doing all kinds of crazy shit. Mr hammer never goes to jail.

  • @Stefan_Doz
    @Stefan_Doz 3 года назад +411

    0:58 "I am not going to throw a punch at you". "I aint gonna throw a punch either" Lol that would be one hell of a fight!

    • @jeromecaldwell7152
      @jeromecaldwell7152 3 года назад +25

      Sounds like a one legged ass kicking contest right

    • @Derals1
      @Derals1 3 года назад +45

      He meant he was going to swing the hammer mate

    • @bobross4616
      @bobross4616 3 года назад +9

      @@Derals1 Exactly what I was thinking. "one hell of a fight", buddy, he's implying that he'd just use the hammer...

    • @michaelross1452
      @michaelross1452 3 года назад +1

      A hammer to skull ends the will to fight.
      Two well placed wacks on the top.

    • @Mega_Mikey
      @Mega_Mikey 3 года назад +9

      @@Derals1 the kid coulda popped that basketball into his face, pushed him over, and that would’ve basically been it for the old man

  • @DC-yt7iv
    @DC-yt7iv 2 года назад +4

    I'll always remember Granddad's last words to me... "WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN HERE WITH THAT HAMMER?"

  • @ronniegranillo
    @ronniegranillo 3 года назад +152

    Santa's not been the same since he started listening to that MC Hammer fella

    • @UndyingZombie
      @UndyingZombie 2 года назад +13

      He forgot he was not supposed to touch that...

  • @JackyRogue
    @JackyRogue 2 года назад +679

    I don't believe this man was ever in prison, beyond working there as a cook

    • @solomonjenkins9505
      @solomonjenkins9505 2 года назад +133

      lol look at him man...he walks around threatening to beat people with a hammer for playing loud music. Seems to me that's exactly the kind of person that goes to prison XD

    • @JackyRogue
      @JackyRogue 2 года назад +19

      @@solomonjenkins9505 haha OK I take your point when you put it like that

    • @solomonjenkins9505
      @solomonjenkins9505 2 года назад +2

      @@JackyRogue XD

    • @St.CrimsonTweets
      @St.CrimsonTweets 2 года назад +21

      I can tell by how he said "Mr. Hammer" that he's only been to prison via the scared straight program.

    • @IncognitoSprax
      @IncognitoSprax 2 года назад +35

      @@solomonjenkins9505 people that serve time in prison generally don't brag about being in prison

  • @phillipedwardness9591
    @phillipedwardness9591 3 года назад +271

    “Me and Mr Hammer, are gonna have a party.”
    Who wouldn’t have laughed haha

  • @davidserlin8097
    @davidserlin8097 2 года назад +2

    The best part of this video is the music. Without it I would not know how I should feel.

  • @svenkamog2232
    @svenkamog2232 3 года назад +265

    I knew a guy like this once, they're big bags of wind when it kicks off...

    • @MrJustinbiebersux
      @MrJustinbiebersux 3 года назад +29

      @Cody Ingram his confidence probably came from the fact his buddy was recording, so regardless even if he couldn't dodge the first swing the guy would still go to jail if he done it

    • @jeromecaldwell7152
      @jeromecaldwell7152 3 года назад +15

      Hows that un-cave homeboys skull? Lol

    • @davezimmer9053
      @davezimmer9053 3 года назад +46

      @Cody Ingram lol that old man can’t even run 50m without having a heart attack hahahahaha

    • @davezimmer9053
      @davezimmer9053 3 года назад +34

      @Cody Ingram I meant 50 meters. The man's old and frail and can barely defend himself. Look at his belly it basically means that his blood vessels are filled with cholesterol if he makes sudden moves he'll kill himself lol

    • @Sloimer
      @Sloimer 3 года назад

      @@davezimmer9053 lol

  • @makslargu5799
    @makslargu5799 2 года назад +80

    The bit at the end when he asks the kid if he’s ok after threatening to beat him with a hammer had me shooting juice out my nose.

    • @grass7590
      @grass7590 2 года назад +1

      lmfao

    • @justpassingbyy
      @justpassingbyy 2 года назад +8

      Sounds like the old dude was scared about them calling the cops.

    • @bipolr6520
      @bipolr6520 Год назад

      gross blow ur nose

  • @MrBroken030
    @MrBroken030 3 года назад +150

    For some ex convicts its hard to get back to society so im really glad to see he found a trusty companion in mr hammer, he really seems to keep him grounded in reality and just mellow/chill :D

    • @tommyodonovan3883
      @tommyodonovan3883 2 года назад +4

      I rented a room to a guy who was in prison almost half his life, he was a very strange guy.

    • @jamesr5741
      @jamesr5741 2 года назад +1

      @@tommyodonovan3883 Did he always huddle over his food tray cautiously?

    • @crabwaluigi
      @crabwaluigi 2 года назад

      Thanks megaman

    • @yellowblanka6058
      @yellowblanka6058 2 года назад +1

      @@tommyodonovan3883 Uh....personally I would be a bit more selective with my tenants, but you do you.

    • @FreakinFred08
      @FreakinFred08 2 года назад

      ….but Mr. Hammer is why he was a convict in the first place, 😆.

  • @rubba6818
    @rubba6818 Год назад +2

    Out of breath from talking, that old guy is no danger to anyone but himself! :D /,,,/

  • @flosh2walkthrough672
    @flosh2walkthrough672 3 года назад +146

    ‘Me and Mr.Hammer are going to have a party’ is the best line ever

    • @kingc8531
      @kingc8531 3 года назад +2

      Instantly earned my respect with that line lol

    • @joesam.
      @joesam. 3 года назад

      @@kingc8531 Poor Mr. Hammer... 🥴

    • @artvandalay13
      @artvandalay13 3 года назад +1

      Yeah and I wouldn't be within striking distance of that looney bins garden gnome.

    • @chocolatephone7840
      @chocolatephone7840 3 года назад

      @@kingc8531 Sad

    • @kingc8531
      @kingc8531 3 года назад

      @@chocolatephone7840 Don't be sad. Mr Hammer wants to party;)

  • @connorperrett9559
    @connorperrett9559 3 года назад +219

    Oblivion memes are the best part about the breakdown of social cohesion.

  • @ehfdup9460
    @ehfdup9460 3 года назад +88

    This is what happens when Mrs Claus leaves you for Rudolph

    • @Quantum_015
      @Quantum_015 3 года назад

      I heard she left him because he stole the Elves’ hammer .

    • @MapleMaf1a
      @MapleMaf1a 3 года назад +1

      Sounds like his wife was quite messed up as well if she was sleeping with reindeer.

  • @Viper0172
    @Viper0172 Месяц назад +2

    Next time I'm late somewhere I'm just going to say: “I just got out of prison; was in 18 years for beating the heck out of someone.”

  • @bradl8887
    @bradl8887 3 года назад +530

    Buddy’s trying WAY too hard to convince them he’s really been to prison. I guess he survived prison by talking the other prisoners to death?

    • @sugacanebeats17
      @sugacanebeats17 3 года назад +25

      *SPEECH 100*

    • @willrobinson3114
      @willrobinson3114 3 года назад +7

      Nah he definitely grew those titties in jail, obesity rates are sky high in the prison system

    • @santosdr2
      @santosdr2 3 года назад +10

      They was like not the hammer story again. Frank you need to chill I got 18 years with you bro. 18 we been celly for 2 day i've heard t he hammer story 593 times. YOu haven't even committed to the hammer story. YOu are in jail blue collar crime, you embezzeled all the money from your plumbing business that you worked for and fraud.
      I can't believe you frank I just can't.
      Holy hell. IF you shut the fuck up I will promise you no one will hurt you.

    • @Certified_souls_player
      @Certified_souls_player 3 года назад +4

      @@santosdr2 that started off good and just got stupid towards the end

    • @santosdr2
      @santosdr2 3 года назад +1

      @@Certified_souls_player That's what my ex said. T.T /cries.

  • @epicmonkytime6003
    @epicmonkytime6003 2 года назад +129

    Idk I would fight him, but he seems pretty tanky.. I'll just give him 100 gold to leave me alone

    • @OHOE1
      @OHOE1 2 года назад +5

      hes some evil character in a movie

    • @krugtbifro6152
      @krugtbifro6152 2 года назад +2

      That's hilarious

    • @lnteIIigence
      @lnteIIigence 2 года назад +4

      _Transforms back into peasant_
      "Thank you kind sir!"

  • @shawnyfin
    @shawnyfin 3 года назад +48

    This dudes stamina bar would drop like an iron ingot..

  • @challis65
    @challis65 2 года назад +4

    If you ask me, Mr Hammer looks slightly embarrassed being there.

    • @sirgeekalot4380
      @sirgeekalot4380 5 месяцев назад

      Goddamnit dude, you got me 😂😂

  • @jedeye7631
    @jedeye7631 3 года назад +189

    "I'm an ex convict who has been to prison for doing crime. I'm here now because I was recently released. From prison. Because I was a felon. Because I did bad things."

  • @AgentSmith911
    @AgentSmith911 3 года назад +76

    Just one quick kick to his humongous stomach and he's back to Morrowind

    • @moejartin3258
      @moejartin3258 3 года назад +2

      He's gonna be begging for morrowind

    • @mohamedomar6862
      @mohamedomar6862 3 года назад +3

      A huge kick would suffice...

    • @danielrobertson2154
      @danielrobertson2154 3 года назад

      You can't kick in Oblivion. Only Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme can. And it cost Chuck everything.

    • @ronytheronin7439
      @ronytheronin7439 3 года назад

      Yeah, but then, who’s going to organize the party?

    • @old-fashionedcoughypot
      @old-fashionedcoughypot 3 года назад +3

      His knee would be a good spot to kick too. Something that fat will have bad knees from slowly lumbering from one seat to the next seat in between feedings. One well placed kick & *BOOM* instant Tubby Wheelchair.

  • @pariah5473
    @pariah5473 3 года назад +77

    This guy is like the first elite enemy you encounter in rpgs.

  • @KingslayerSrb
    @KingslayerSrb 2 года назад +3

    Ogre: "Me and Mr Hammer are gonna have a party!"
    Mr Hammer: ::visibly cringes::

  • @johnbull9195
    @johnbull9195 3 года назад +57

    Well, that 18 years really did the trick...

    • @rewind12354
      @rewind12354 3 года назад

      Rehabilitated, stamped.

    • @OfficialSeth
      @OfficialSeth 3 года назад +1

      I think Santa needs 18 more.

  • @elanderan1104
    @elanderan1104 3 года назад +50

    "How do you think I survived in prison?" I think he ate the other prisoners.

    • @GECKOZFTW
      @GECKOZFTW 3 года назад +3

      Doubt he was ever there

    • @mariesvandefliert8533
      @mariesvandefliert8533 3 года назад +5

      By droping the soap all the time. That is why he is so sour 🙈😂

    • @plucas9324
      @plucas9324 3 года назад +1

      You made me laugh out loud!

  • @ivanc9087
    @ivanc9087 3 года назад +78

    When a low poligon side character mistakes himself for a boss

    • @botlarry4437
      @botlarry4437 3 года назад +4

      Three triangle brain

    • @lolwtfbbq111
      @lolwtfbbq111 3 года назад +2

      @@botlarry4437 😂😂😂😂

    • @santosdr2
      @santosdr2 3 года назад +3

      That dude is boss of the builders guild. Thing is he came from 80s 8bit gaming world where a hammer was a strong weaponof choice perhaps.
      Dude doesn't know how the world works now. He should have enchanted the hammer. O

  • @lforlost131
    @lforlost131 2 года назад +2

    Top 10 double-time boss fights
    Number 1: Ogre Lord and Mr.Hammer

  • @ondrejsivak
    @ondrejsivak 2 года назад +43

    Me: Mom, can we have Thor?
    Mom: We have Thor at home.
    Thor at home:

    • @BandiPower
      @BandiPower Год назад +3

      Mr. Hammer 💀💀💀

  • @Awesome1914
    @Awesome1914 3 года назад +40

    "How do you think I survived prison?" Ate all the other prisoners?

    • @Torquemada71.
      @Torquemada71. 3 года назад +7

      Hey don't be mean he's clearly pregnant! Nobody respects mother's anymore gees.

    • @CisnePelado
      @CisnePelado 2 года назад +1

      Hey, don't body-shame the Hammer Troll, dude! Now he's gotta roll back to his dungeon to cry.

    • @dragonballptkjr.3922
      @dragonballptkjr.3922 2 года назад

      Idk how you can get so fat otherwise when you are 18 years in prison haha

    • @Silks
      @Silks 2 года назад +2

      Ate the other prisoners' asses

  • @cl6262
    @cl6262 3 года назад +42

    He survived prison on his knees, trading favors for cheetos by the look of things.

    • @jeanvaljean341
      @jeanvaljean341 3 года назад +4

      Prison pocket

    • @eliteteamkiller319
      @eliteteamkiller319 3 года назад +6

      Honestly he probably made up the prison sentence to scare the kid.

    • @maskcollector6949
      @maskcollector6949 3 года назад +2

      @@eliteteamkiller319 No, he's wearing the Jackie Chan's (prison shoes). Lol this is America people lived in prison all over >.>

    • @eliteteamkiller319
      @eliteteamkiller319 3 года назад +2

      @@maskcollector6949 Can't say I looked at his shoes lol.

    • @sivartb7273
      @sivartb7273 3 года назад +2

      @@eliteteamkiller319 sounds like something Mr. Hammer would say.

  • @nds9000
    @nds9000 2 года назад +2

    Adding to his prison story, 4 words at a time...

  • @frostyliciousmayne
    @frostyliciousmayne 3 года назад +109

    "Me and Mr Hammer are gonna have a party" C'mon man that was fucking hilarious and idk how you even got that out without chuckling yourself

    • @zzz3493
      @zzz3493 3 года назад +15

      He probably heard some shit like that in a nic cage movie and thought it was badass

    • @qnst406
      @qnst406 3 года назад

      @@zzz3493 hahahaha

    • @w1d3r75
      @w1d3r75 3 года назад

      😭

  • @michaelcollins8757
    @michaelcollins8757 3 года назад +58

    Thank goodness. Now I know if I ever go to prison to just be a smart ass and ill be just fine.

    • @zoidjr2527
      @zoidjr2527 3 года назад +3

      LOL. Its a strategy. I am not quite sure how well it would work.

    • @zoidjr2527
      @zoidjr2527 3 года назад +2

      Good comment.

    • @michaelcollins8757
      @michaelcollins8757 3 года назад +3

      I feel like it would be a good way to get slapped around. Lol

    • @gjh400
      @gjh400 3 года назад +2

      Works 60% of the time all the time.

    • @michaelcollins8757
      @michaelcollins8757 3 года назад +3

      Seems like a bad idea lol.

  • @setsmoked1535
    @setsmoked1535 3 года назад +68

    “Don’t laugh, Mr.Hammer don’t like people laughing, it’s the crazy idea your laughing at him, now if you apologize like I know you’re going to, I might convince him you really didn’t mean it.”

  • @yingle6027
    @yingle6027 Год назад +1

    Plot twist: The sound system was playing Oblivian NPC theme

  • @ThoughtWellness
    @ThoughtWellness 3 года назад +22

    Legend says the man and his hammer are still partying to this day. 🕺 🔨

    • @iliekovert7502
      @iliekovert7502 2 года назад

      legend to this day that hammer still has no blood on it

  • @vapeurdepisse
    @vapeurdepisse 3 года назад +32

    He should have said me and MC hammer are having a party

  • @Hurstiisio
    @Hurstiisio 3 года назад +11

    "Use your emotions with your head, okay? Yeah, I'm a smart-ass, how do you think I survived in prison" its like New Vegas NPC, but with 20iq

  • @samsam2235
    @samsam2235 10 месяцев назад +1

    The idea of him and Mr. Hammer having a "party" takes me to a very dark place.

  • @michaelcollins8757
    @michaelcollins8757 3 года назад +12

    New quest:
    Slay hammer wielding ogre.
    Ogre: I don't wanna live anymore. Agian! Hit me! Kill me! Agian! Agian! Erraaa.
    GOOD PEOPLE OF THE IMPERIAL CITY YOU JUST WITNESSED THE IMPOSSIBLE!

  • @UntilItIsFinished
    @UntilItIsFinished 3 года назад +16

    Oh, you're 19?
    **flexes harder**

  • @itscoldbro5098
    @itscoldbro5098 3 года назад +11

    "ill go back to prison" same guy with a hammer threatening kids "you gotta have more sense than that" referring to kids listening to music while playing basketball

  • @MisterCatMan
    @MisterCatMan 2 года назад +3

    You shouldn't get too close to that residence before reaching level 25, this quest starts by itself and this ogre is mighty.

  • @killmachine8216
    @killmachine8216 3 года назад +9

    I feel like being a “smart ass” is a great way to NOT survive in prison.

  • @ronytheronin7439
    @ronytheronin7439 3 года назад +42

    Dm: "so we’re short of one player for this session."
    Jail Santa: " me and mr. Hammer we’re gonna have a Party"
    Dm: "sigh… did you make his character sheet at least?"

  • @andrewdillon3520
    @andrewdillon3520 3 года назад +61

    The old "I was in prison !" so that means you and everyone around me should fear me and do as I say. Boomer was never locked up,those guys should have asked for what and where and just watch his story fall apart.

    • @evilalien1741
      @evilalien1741 3 года назад +5

      True...wait..Does just visiting count lol

    • @jackyzimmerman
      @jackyzimmerman 3 года назад +4

      Van Damme couldn’t have turned in a worse performance. Big coincidence that he’s been to prison for the exact same thing he’s threatening to do.

    • @WarriorBoy
      @WarriorBoy 3 года назад +1

      "What did you go to prison for, Prison Mike?"
      "F-fuh murder...roberry..and kidnapping. And I never got caught, neither"

    • @buyerofsorts
      @buyerofsorts 2 года назад

      Well he did say for beating the hell out of people so we have that.

  • @IamSpectre01
    @IamSpectre01 2 года назад +1

    Mr Hammer will need to do most of the work, the guys out of breath standing still

  • @spencer.kissack.the.author
    @spencer.kissack.the.author 2 года назад +12

    'Me & Mr Hammer are gonna have a party'
    My life is now complete

  • @Kevin_40
    @Kevin_40 3 года назад +6

    i would have sent the hardest 2 handed basketball pass in my life right into his face

  • @ajaxlewis7664
    @ajaxlewis7664 3 года назад +21

    I love to imagine addresses every object in his house as "Mr." Or "Mrs" xD

    • @chuckhoward4364
      @chuckhoward4364 3 года назад +2

      Me and Mrs. 🥧 Are gonna have a good time😈

    • @llVIU
      @llVIU 3 года назад +2

      he and mister fridge are married. They spend a lot of time together.

    • @Blake4625kHz
      @Blake4625kHz 2 года назад +1

      He needs to turn around, cross back over Mr Street if there's no Mr car, then take Mr Stairs to Mr Apartment, sit on Mr Couch after putting Mr Hammer back in Mr Tool Box, and watch the damn TV

    • @moderndemon84
      @moderndemon84 2 года назад

      @@Blake4625kHz Mr TV.

    • @azombie8mybaby
      @azombie8mybaby 2 года назад +1

      Gonna take a bath with Mr. Toaster.