Thank you Rabbi Friedman, always inspirational and guiding to the Truths of Torah. Marriage and Divorce are a two way street that need to become a ONE WAY street to be long term success! If divorce is not an option, than both grind through the process of refining themselves towards oneness together. Divorce is only EVER an option when both cannot refine themselves to make marriage work and all the other paths are exhausted. It really hurts deeply to divorce, (not recommended) it feels like a part of you has been ripped from your soul that you can never get back, more so when children are involved. But if you love something, you have to be willing to let it go at any cost and trust this was part of Hashem's plan. Same for children, if you love them, we understand that "our children" are not ours, they belong to Hashem. Eventually they grow up and we die and we trust Hashem and the others in the family and Jewish community will guide them and take care of them, and they will make Godly decisions for themselves. But being divorced, there is part of you that ALWAYS ALWAYS still loves your Ex and your children that Hashem gave you! If it ever comes back to you than there is a double blessing waiting.
I was in the" Stephen ministry". I counseled a young lady and the pastor counseled the young man. When the pastor and got together to talk about the couple. He was surprised I told the young women, divorce is not a option.🤷 I talked about things they could do to repair the relationship... He said ( the Pastor), the marriage won't work. Needless to say being a Stephen minister with short-term. 😉😄 I still use those skills I learned, as common advice. When things get tough, the tough keep going. I honestly thought all 4 of us should have met. I didn't know the guy but I was sure the woman wanted the marriage to work.🙏
Marriage is a very sacred relationship,you truly become yourself,and life becomes meaningful,,,and when you have children that's the real blessing,now life at this point is succesful and has achieved the goal and purpose,,,divorce is not only optional but it truly destroy two or more lives,,,so it's necessary for commitment and compromises and understanding to be there,that really save what is desirable.
When marriage is mentally and or physically abusive to a point one cannot live in a state of freedom to be themselves when they basically are a kindhearted person trying to be loving in their actions, without constantly being attacked for who they are, especially when God intends them to strive to live in accordance to living a more righteous life, then divorce is not an an option but is necessary for the well being of one and or both individuals to part ways. An ego driven narcissistic personality; will crush the person who falls into the role of codependency, because they are empathetic by nature to a point that the latter looses sense of who they are as a person leaving them feeling like an empty vessel and simply a mental and or physical punching bag for their mean and often unfaithful spouse. Marriage is to be based on healthy relationships not ones that support ongoing long term abusive by choice and intention behaviors towards another. Once towards the end of the marriage: I ask my ex husband why he would often come home in a bad mood and take it out on me and his response was the moment I truly understood why I wasn’t happy was because I wasn’t allowed to be, because he wasn’t, when his response was “If (first and his last name referring to himself) isn’t having a good day you’re (expletive starting with an f) not going to either.” That experience showed me he with intention knowingly was committed to taking his own internal anger out on me as his way of coping instead of working on who he was within himself, while also wanting me to be happy. After the divorce he said: he only cheated because as he expressed the sex wasn’t great and to his liking within the marriage. Sadly he didn’t understand sexual lust, manipulation, and self pleasures is not love based it’s of egotism. He was my first ongoing sexual relationship so I didn’t understand such things, and it took me years myself to learn that lesson the hard way. He became verbally abusive for the nine years after we began cohabitating as husband and wife; then when I started questioning the behavior as I matured as a person myself towards the end of the marriage, he progressed to hitting doors and walls, when I stopped responding to his verbal abuse; because one gets to a point they become numb to all emotions and tears stop falling. Back then I had no idea how abusive the relationship actually was, nor that I had stopped feeding his egos need to control me by how I reacted, which made him more volatile and angry towards me. I did figure out if I didn’t ask to end the marriage eventually it wouldn’t be just doors his fists were hitting. He agreed to an amblical divorce and expressed the day it was finalized that he was sorry he treated me as he had and that his best advice was to never allow another man to control me as he had done, because once I had allowed it he said he simply never knew how to stop behaving as he did towards me. He also told me he appreciated my love towards him over the years. Probably the kindest things he ever expressed to me and I took it to heart and started educating myself about things of a physiological nature. He knew what he did was wrong but he became addicted to the behavior because I allowed it by being to passive and submissive in my way of reacting early on in our relationship having absolutely no boundaries to safe guard personnel well being. Within a couple months of the divorce he remarried another woman he had been seeing and oddly her birthday was close to mine and she had a similar personality so I felt concerned for her. After our divorce I remained kind towards his family and her, because that’s who I choose to be. She friend requested me on Facebook, as I was connected on the site to his family, and back when I was active on the sight I’d see things come across my feed. As a couple they looked really happy together and I’m happy for them, because after our divorce I realized almost every picture of my ex he wasn’t smiling and the memories that went with many of the photos involved unkind experiences towards me because he was extremely unhappy. He had called my parents in tears after the divorce expressing regret for how he had behaved towards me and them, asking for forgiveness, which was significant because he wasn’t a crier in general during our times together nor someone who apologized. I pray he learned a lesson about how to treat others as one wishes to be treated. He genuinely smiles with his wife and she does too, in pictures, so our divorce in the end made us both happier. I pray he learned from our relationship how not to be as I learned from him, and that he in turn treats her well and that she always holds her ground with him if he relapses into old addictive habits. Our divorce in the end was necessary not just for me but for both us to become better happier human beings. God had other plans for our lives has become pretty clear to me over the years, and sometimes marrying the wrong person for us to accomplish what Hashem’s will is really determines how a relationship will unfold, because if God is against it then it will not be an experience based on the ways of righteousness based in Love for One Another, but one based on unrighteousness.
Thank you for sharing part of your divorce story. It has caused a huge impact on me. I am sure to reflect for the rest of my day due to my current situation at home due to your comment. My wife and I are completely disconnected at this point and I am growing angrier with each passing day. I don’t want to hurt her in anyway, because I do love her deep in my heart. Is hard to be married to a person that doesn’t share same values. I am sure she feels the same way. We already talked about divorce, and we have a precious little girl together. It makes my heart hurt like hell to realize at this moment divorce is our only option and my daughter will loose her home. You can imagine how emotionally difficult this is. I do believe HaShem is in control. Please pray for us, and thank you again for your comment ❤
He managed to make you feel guilty of his actions. NO. All that he said to you after the divorce was still trying to manipulate you and absolve himself from his sins by saying that you allowed him to be that way because you are passive and then giving you the task of changing your personality for the next man. It angers me that he said that to you; it is in no way your fault that he acted the way he did; it is all HIS own responsibility. He is 100% responsible for his own actions. He would have been the same no matter how you responded to it.
Problem with divorce is that most people try to find a reason to break the marriage. In the Torah the lord always attempts to reconcile with Israel. I’ve changed a bit in my life for the better. Couples should do the same. Divorce should only happen because infidelity and or emotional/physical harm. (Some degrees of abuse can be mentored and fixed). And infidelity can be forgiven like how the lord forgave Israel giving them another shot after idolizing other fake gods(statues). Domestic violence is when divorce “is” the option.
We are married to God first, and then we see our relationship with one another, which is a reflection of the love we receive from Him. We are devoted to God only... not people, not rabbis, not anyone. He comes first. Believe in Him in you then you will see Him in your mage 🙏
@Blake Brooklyn I will forever be indebted to you Mrs Paula Mary Allen !!! You’ve changed my whole life, I will continue to preach about your name for the world to hear, you’ve saved me from a huge financial debt with just little investment thanks so much Mrs Paula Mary Allen
Wow😊I know her and I have also been trading with her, She’s such an amazing woman with good skills keeps me happy all week knowing I earn 15thousand extra income trading with her.
❤I have made up to $120k with her help, this is my 3rd month though with Mrs Paula Mary Allen , all thanks to her, she's really good in what she does.😊
After I got 300K trading with Mrs Angelia Marie Brown . I bought a new House and I'm now able to send my kids to a better school in the states thanks to Mrs Paula Mary Allen trades. When someone is straight forward with what he or she is doing people will always speak up for them.
😊😊I am from Los Angeles USA I connected with her and she has helped me a lot.she makes so much profit for me, the best I can invest with so far ever since I came across Expert Mrs Paula Mary Allen, my bad turned out being good and profitable. She's made success earlier than we thought.
This Rabbi is So sensible. If God is Anything..I would think He would be Sensible! Be Considerate of one another. 😊❤
Thank you so much shalom.
Thank you Rabbi…
Thank you Rabbi Friedman
✡️🙏♥️🔥
Wish you and everybody here a great day and a wonderful week!!
Shavua Tov!!🎶
💪🙂👍
Thank you rabbi
Χρόνια πολλά, Χριστός Ανέστη υγεία και ευτυχία σέ όλους 🙏❤️
Thank you
Rabbi, what about the fact that the lockdown was also a time of distress, did the distress somehow assist in changing the couples minds about divorce?
Nice one
Thank you Rabbi Friedman, always inspirational and guiding to the Truths of Torah. Marriage and Divorce are a two way street that need to become a ONE WAY street to be long term success! If divorce is not an option, than both grind through the process of refining themselves towards oneness together. Divorce is only EVER an option when both cannot refine themselves to make marriage work and all the other paths are exhausted. It really hurts deeply to divorce, (not recommended) it feels like a part of you has been ripped from your soul that you can never get back, more so when children are involved. But if you love something, you have to be willing to let it go at any cost and trust this was part of Hashem's plan. Same for children, if you love them, we understand that "our children" are not ours, they belong to Hashem. Eventually they grow up and we die and we trust Hashem and the others in the family and Jewish community will guide them and take care of them, and they will make Godly decisions for themselves. But being divorced, there is part of you that ALWAYS ALWAYS still loves your Ex and your children that Hashem gave you! If it ever comes back to you than there is a double blessing waiting.
Thank you to the IGTK team for all you do to share Rabbi Friedman's teachings with us.
I was in the" Stephen ministry". I counseled a young lady and the pastor counseled the young man.
When the pastor and got together to talk about the couple. He was surprised I told the young women, divorce is not a option.🤷
I talked about things they could do to repair the relationship...
He said ( the Pastor), the marriage won't work.
Needless to say being a Stephen minister with short-term. 😉😄 I still use those skills I learned, as common advice.
When things get tough, the tough keep going.
I honestly thought all 4 of us should have met. I didn't know the guy but I was sure the woman wanted the marriage to work.🙏
Marriage is a very sacred relationship,you truly become yourself,and life becomes meaningful,,,and when you have children that's the real blessing,now life at this point is succesful and has achieved the goal and purpose,,,divorce is not only optional but it truly destroy two or more lives,,,so it's necessary for commitment and compromises and understanding to be there,that really save what is desirable.
🤔🤔🤔
😂
G-d bless you, Rabbi
Instruction
When marriage is mentally and or physically abusive to a point one cannot live in a state of freedom to be themselves when they basically are a kindhearted person trying to be loving in their actions, without constantly being attacked for who they are, especially when God intends them to strive to live in accordance to living a more righteous life, then divorce is not an an option but is necessary for the well being of one and or both individuals to part ways. An ego driven narcissistic personality; will crush the person who falls into the role of codependency, because they are empathetic by nature to a point that the latter looses sense of who they are as a person leaving them feeling like an empty vessel and simply a mental and or physical punching bag for their mean and often unfaithful spouse. Marriage is to be based on healthy relationships not ones that support ongoing long term abusive by choice and intention behaviors towards another. Once towards the end of the marriage: I ask my ex husband why he would often come home in a bad mood and take it out on me and his response was the moment I truly understood why I wasn’t happy was because I wasn’t allowed to be, because he wasn’t, when his response was “If (first and his last name referring to himself) isn’t having a good day you’re (expletive starting with an f) not going to either.” That experience showed me he with intention knowingly was committed to taking his own internal anger out on me as his way of coping instead of working on who he was within himself, while also wanting me to be happy. After the divorce he said: he only cheated because as he expressed the sex wasn’t great and to his liking within the marriage. Sadly he didn’t understand sexual lust, manipulation, and self pleasures is not love based it’s of egotism. He was my first ongoing sexual relationship so I didn’t understand such things, and it took me years myself to learn that lesson the hard way. He became verbally abusive for the nine years after we began cohabitating as husband and wife; then when I started questioning the behavior as I matured as a person myself towards the end of the marriage, he progressed to hitting doors and walls, when I stopped responding to his verbal abuse; because one gets to a point they become numb to all emotions and tears stop falling. Back then I had no idea how abusive the relationship actually was, nor that I had stopped feeding his egos need to control me by how I reacted, which made him more volatile and angry towards me. I did figure out if I didn’t ask to end the marriage eventually it wouldn’t be just doors his fists were hitting. He agreed to an amblical divorce and expressed the day it was finalized that he was sorry he treated me as he had and that his best advice was to never allow another man to control me as he had done, because once I had allowed it he said he simply never knew how to stop behaving as he did towards me. He also told me he appreciated my love towards him over the years. Probably the kindest things he ever expressed to me and I took it to heart and started educating myself about things of a physiological nature. He knew what he did was wrong but he became addicted to the behavior because I allowed it by being to passive and submissive in my way of reacting early on in our relationship having absolutely no boundaries to safe guard personnel well being. Within a couple months of the divorce he remarried another woman he had been seeing and oddly her birthday was close to mine and she had a similar personality so I felt concerned for her. After our divorce I remained kind towards his family and her, because that’s who I choose to be. She friend requested me on Facebook, as I was connected on the site to his family, and back when I was active on the sight I’d see things come across my feed. As a couple they looked really happy together and I’m happy for them, because after our divorce I realized almost every picture of my ex he wasn’t smiling and the memories that went with many of the photos involved unkind experiences towards me because he was extremely unhappy. He had called my parents in tears after the divorce expressing regret for how he had behaved towards me and them, asking for forgiveness, which was significant because he wasn’t a crier in general during our times together nor someone who apologized. I pray he learned a lesson about how to treat others as one wishes to be treated. He genuinely smiles with his wife and she does too, in pictures, so our divorce in the end made us both happier. I pray he learned from our relationship how not to be as I learned from him, and that he in turn treats her well and that she always holds her ground with him if he relapses into old addictive habits. Our divorce in the end was necessary not just for me but for both us to become better happier human beings. God had other plans for our lives has become pretty clear to me over the years, and sometimes marrying the wrong person for us to accomplish what Hashem’s will is really determines how a relationship will unfold, because if God is against it then it will not be an experience based on the ways of righteousness based in Love for One Another, but one based on unrighteousness.
Thank you for sharing part of your divorce story. It has caused a huge impact on me. I am sure to reflect for the rest of my day due to my current situation at home due to your comment. My wife and I are completely disconnected at this point and I am growing angrier with each passing day. I don’t want to hurt her in anyway, because I do love her deep in my heart. Is hard to be married to a person that doesn’t share same values. I am sure she feels the same way. We already talked about divorce, and we have a precious little girl together. It makes my heart hurt like hell to realize at this moment divorce is our only option and my daughter will loose her home. You can imagine how emotionally difficult this is. I do believe HaShem is in control. Please pray for us, and thank you again for your comment ❤
He managed to make you feel guilty of his actions. NO. All that he said to you after the divorce was still trying to manipulate you and absolve himself from his sins by saying that you allowed him to be that way because you are passive and then giving you the task of changing your personality for the next man. It angers me that he said that to you; it is in no way your fault that he acted the way he did; it is all HIS own responsibility. He is 100% responsible for his own actions. He would have been the same no matter how you responded to it.
Good news. Let us all have good news to share.
Yeah, I’m looking at the news and I’m like, this abomination🤣
You didn't include the answer if long term marriage is possible, which would be interesting to hear.
Maybe we are the only ones who noticed.
It’s obviously possible. The Rabbi himself is still married to the same wife for decades, and many people are, too.
Problem with divorce is that most people try to find a reason to break the marriage. In the Torah the lord always attempts to reconcile with Israel.
I’ve changed a bit in my life for the better. Couples should do the same.
Divorce should only happen because infidelity and or emotional/physical harm. (Some degrees of abuse can be mentored and fixed).
And infidelity can be forgiven like how the lord forgave Israel giving them another shot after idolizing other fake gods(statues).
Domestic violence is when divorce “is” the option.
👉🏽🤓
shaliach is emmissary
Didn't enjoy this. Found nothing in it.
We are married to God first, and then we see our relationship with one another, which is a reflection of the love we receive from Him. We are devoted to God only... not people, not rabbis, not anyone. He comes first. Believe in Him in you then you will see Him in your mage 🙏
..I'm favoured, $230K every 4weeks! God bless Ms. Paula for the help,our lord have lifted up my Life!!
@Blake Brooklyn I will forever be indebted to you Mrs Paula Mary Allen !!! You’ve changed my whole life, I will continue to preach about your name for the world to hear, you’ve saved me from a huge financial debt with just little investment thanks so much Mrs Paula Mary Allen
Wow😊I know her and I have also been trading with her, She’s such an amazing woman with good skills keeps me happy all week knowing I earn 15thousand extra income trading with her.
❤I have made up to $120k with her help, this is my 3rd month though with Mrs Paula Mary Allen , all thanks to her, she's really good in what she does.😊
After I got 300K trading with Mrs Angelia Marie Brown . I bought a new House and I'm now able to send my kids to a better school in the states thanks to Mrs Paula Mary Allen trades. When someone is straight forward with what he or she is doing people will always speak up for them.
😊😊I am from Los Angeles USA I connected with her and she has helped me a lot.she makes so much profit for me, the best I can invest with so far ever since I came across Expert Mrs Paula Mary Allen, my bad turned out being good and profitable. She's made success earlier than we thought.