I’ve always been intense in my friendships that my mom used to think I was in love with them. The way the authors describe it is just perfect. I was in love just not THAT way- the break ups are seriously the worst part.
As an ace person, I get so sick and tired from the media spamming us with sex and unrealistic romances... As Alice Oseman writes in one of my favourite books Loveless, you can be platonically in love with someone. Like how adorable is that!? It's weird to me how we (as a society) view romantic relationships 'higher' than platonic ones, while platonic relationships can take so many forms and usually last longer.
just want to throw The Waves by Virginia Woolf into the recommendation mix! it follows six friends from childhood to death and there are two chapters in particular where they meet up for dinner (once in young adulthood, once in middle adulthood) that are my favorite friendship scenes in any piece of media ever. that whole book makes me love life and i think you would love it, jack
@@nicolefegan Same here. I've read it 6 times through, as well as dipping in and out. It was one of only two books I took with me when I moved overseas. This year I finally bought a first edition, something I've wanted for over 20 years. I love it so much.
@@circleofleaves2676 Ah I am so jealous!! My first tattoo, which I got last year, was of the girl in the shell on the cover of a version from the 80s. A first edition is a dream of mine, so I'm so glad to know you got to fulfill that dream too
@@nicolefegan Oh, I love that cover with the girl in the shell! It's practically impossible to find now. Do you have a copy and if so can you tell me the publisher and date? One source said Harcourt Brace Jovanich 1959, and another said Harvest publishing 1970's. My dream would of course be first edition, first impression, hogarth press, purple cloth, dust jacket, signed by Virginia in her purple ink... but that dream is actually impossible! Do you have any other literary tattoos?
One of my favorite lines from Greta Gerwig's Little Women (I'm not sure if this was in the book) was, "You will be bored of him in two years, but we will be interesting forever." Friendships are just so more endurable due to their lack of expectations and hurdles.
as an aro ace, any book that distinguishes platonic love from romantic is a win for me, so thanks for sharing these books! and yes sayaka murata!! i'll read anything she writes 😭
Long-term friendships, especially the ones that have seen you develop as a person throughout several life faces, are so freaking important. I have a wonderful friend who I met when I was about 15yo. Due to different life changes, we stopped talking for about 3 years and have now reconnect again. When I'm with this friend I feel like a more honest and true version of myself vs. If I'm with newer friendships. It just really resonates with me that this person knows me in a very intricate way, and that feels very special... :)
This is such an interesting topic both in literature and in day to day life. I loved you mentioning your favorite phrases and quotes from the panel and the authors, you should totally do more videos like this!
I just finished reading Loveless by Alice Oseman today, which I feel also fits into this category in a way. There is a bit of romantic love, but it’s a side plot to the main character figuring out and coming to terms with being aromantic and asexual, realizing that she’ll never have a lifelong partner and some epic love story. But she finds that she already has love in her friendships, and there’s this one part that made me fucking cry where one of her friends tells her that she loves her, not in a romantic sense, but she does want to spend the rest of her life with her. It was so gorgeous and emotional and perfect, honestly
I think a friends break-up can be much worse than a lovers break-up. You share so much with them and they are so much a part of your life that that if/when it goes bad, it hurts so much. The Book Of Goose was amazing and I think you'll love it, it's sad and sparse, just like you like them!
I've had a really rough time with friendships recently; trying to set boundaries, figuring out how much of myself to give, grieving friendship breakups. Thank you so much for this, escalating these up my tbr!
Having recently experienced the most gut wrenching heartbreak of my life, I’ve been so attuned to the importance of friendship in the past few months. This video is everything. Thank you, Jack 🤍
Thanks, Jack, my mind is so full from today’s video. Heading back to a 60 year high school reunion in June. Talk about knowing you at a certain time and context. Some will be the same after 60 years and others of us so very different!
just felt compelled to comment because this video really touched me…the way you delivered and spoke I mean I could just really feel and relate and I love that you made me contemplate and really think deeply before I’ve even READ the books haha
2:07 The Book of Geese by Yiyon Li 2:07 All’s Well by Mona Awad 2:15 Best of Friends by Kamika Shamsie Also, Life Ceremony by Sayaka Murata is en route to London.
All's Well is so so SO good although not really centered around friendship as much as pain I thought, definitely my favorite Mona Awad book (better than Bunny in my opinion).
I'm excited about this one. I really like your reviews, Jack. They have inspired me to read more, although I tend to read slowly. This content is not just my cup of tea, it's definitely my whole kettle. 😂😂😂
Aroace person here! I'm really grateful for the way you always talk about ALL the kinds of love, I hear you say it all the time and I will never get tired of it. So thank you and I love that you often recommend books about platonic love and found family etc. Just thanks ✨
Thank you inmensly for your service, Jack. Been thinking about friendships for a while now and there was so much that I couldn't put into words. I am giving this ones a go!
This may be one of my favorite videos yet it had a special atmosphere and felt really open, like sitting down with a friend. Thanks for sharing. And whatever turmoil you're dealing with I hope you find strength in your friendships, books and just small moments during the day. Friendships really are so special, two people making enough space in their lives to dive into someone else's world, feel their pain and their joy without any official term or commitment just because they at one point started to care and never stopped.
Couldn’t agree more w all of your thoughts on this topic. I’ve always said we need more stories about platonic love and the beauty of it. I always love these types of stories sm! Will be adding all these books to my tbr asap
My best friend has stopped talking to me, and it truly is heartbreaking. It feels worse than a breakup, like things I see online I want to send her and shared interests remind me of her. It’s not really talked about, the loss of friendship and the impact it can have.
Great Jack!! Love to see a post about friendship in books! Maybe also, My brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante... mmm Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow has also a big friendship component... Oh wel, I'm rambling =S
I love this video! Friendships are such a unique and beautiful dynamic and books that capture these relationships are so special! Thanks for sharing the discussions from the panel and I hope you love Life Ceremony as much as I did! ❤
I'm very sorry to hear that your heart has been seriously bruised. That never feels good. I hope you rediscover your emotional resilience soon. It may sound cheesy or trite, but love really can be found in many forms and in many ways. The focus on friendship in these books is fabulous because it highlights how "just friends" isn't a consolation prize at all. It's a wonderful gift of true love.
It's very interesting to think about in terms of transitioning and presenting as a different gender than the one your old friends associate you with. I've found that even in a more progressive circle, old friends still have some resistance to seeing me as masc, and don't really notice other ways I've changed or stayed the same.
jack needing to get up in the middle to get rid of the pins and needles is SO REAL. it's me getting up in the middle of reading because some lines make me take a walk
Life ceremony is the first book I finished in a long time. The stories are really weird, but relatable and cozy at the same time. Really enjoyed reading it. I think you will too!!
Well Jack, If there's anything I can do to make you feel better, since I found out about your channel 2 months ago, I have read more books than I had read my whole life prior to knowing you. You made me give value to books and reading in a very rough moment in my life! I hope that, with this message I can give the hope and comfort you have given me, back to you.♥
Kamila Shamsie is an author i firmly hold to be one of the greatest of our time - when I got an ARC of Best of Friends i was simply blown away by the complexity and depth of Zahra and Maryam's relationship - truly iconic
As someone that migrated as a teen, you may have new and old friendships, but given time, those new friendships could endure to become old friendships too. You're never too old to make true friends.
Firefly Lane is a great Netflix show, but what I didn't know until recently is that it's a TV adaptation of a book! I haven't read it yet, but I loved the show and how it focuses on two women where the story isn't about their romantic life, but their friendship and how it evolves through the years. I especially loved how flawed the characters are, they felt very real. Like I said, haven't read the book yet, but I think it fits here!
Oh, and Kat Dennings recently shared You Will Find Your People, by Lane Moore, which is nonfiction about making meaningful friendships as an adult. Again, haven't read it myself, but it sounds useful.
your channels and videos have gotten me through some of the - toughest - romantic mishaps in recent years, i hope you find ease and peace of mind soon ♡ and for the record, those pants are fantastic
I completely agree with you about the importance of friendship. Good friends are always a few ones, but they mean so, so much in one's life. In fact two of the best books of all times deal with friendship: The Story of Gilgamesh and The Quixote. Both are very human heroes backed by very good friends. In the Quixote, both the Quixote and Sancho, so different at the beginning of the book, just get to be the best companions ever as the plot unfolds.
I don't have any friends in real life. I had a ton of friends in highschool and then when I became a teen Mom they all ditched me. They were all really excited through the entire pregnancy to, but then when I delivered only one came to the hospital and I never saw her again. They were plenty old enough to not have parents telling them no as it was senior year. Then, my ex was a psycho and he tried to kill me, so I've had PTSD for 18 years not with medications etc and my trust level is next to nothing. I date, bit I don't really do friends, presumably BC of how everyone I grew up with just dropped me during a hard time, being a new mom and in an abusive relationship. I do have three best friends whom I've never met but we've all talked now for some 11 or 12 years. They've helped me through trauma and my kids hardest years and we have all suffered losses etc. Only, we were over the phone or in a chat box. The world is such an interesting place when you can say your best friend is in a completely different country and you've never met and even moreso that when you NEED them they're there for you to talk, to cry to order pizza together from 2000 miles away and then rest it while watching the same show on Netflix 🤣 I love that my friendships are 100 percent communication based. Yes, it would be lovely to be close to each other, but the idea that our only options were to communicate or to not really means we know each other in a level that's very hard to achieve in real life BC tall life often gets in the way of the communication.
I used to love my friends and they were like brothers and sisters to me, but at some point I had to accept that I wasn't as important to them and walk away...
Oh, I love this video! My friends are the best thing in my days, each in a different way. A book about friends that always melts my heart is Reunion by Fred Uhlman. It brings me back to that period of late adolescence when we were extreme and intense in everything, but especially in friendship
I certainly love this morning cause Im watching your video. I dont follow english-speaking bloggers for so much because it's not my native language, except you, Jack ❤
I’ve always been intense in my friendships that my mom used to think I was in love with them. The way the authors describe it is just perfect. I was in love just not THAT way- the break ups are seriously the worst part.
As an ace person, I get so sick and tired from the media spamming us with sex and unrealistic romances... As Alice Oseman writes in one of my favourite books Loveless, you can be platonically in love with someone. Like how adorable is that!? It's weird to me how we (as a society) view romantic relationships 'higher' than platonic ones, while platonic relationships can take so many forms and usually last longer.
Love I totally agree with you. I’m Ace too. Happy to find my people lol🫂
I absolutely adored Loveless by Miss Oseman 💕🫶🏾
sameeee
just want to throw The Waves by Virginia Woolf into the recommendation mix! it follows six friends from childhood to death and there are two chapters in particular where they meet up for dinner (once in young adulthood, once in middle adulthood) that are my favorite friendship scenes in any piece of media ever. that whole book makes me love life and i think you would love it, jack
The Waves is my favourite book of all time.
@@circleofleaves2676 Mine too!! i've read it four times and it gets better every single time. any chance i get to recommend it, i do lol
@@nicolefegan Same here. I've read it 6 times through, as well as dipping in and out. It was one of only two books I took with me when I moved overseas. This year I finally bought a first edition, something I've wanted for over 20 years. I love it so much.
@@circleofleaves2676 Ah I am so jealous!! My first tattoo, which I got last year, was of the girl in the shell on the cover of a version from the 80s. A first edition is a dream of mine, so I'm so glad to know you got to fulfill that dream too
@@nicolefegan Oh, I love that cover with the girl in the shell! It's practically impossible to find now. Do you have a copy and if so can you tell me the publisher and date? One source said Harcourt Brace Jovanich 1959, and another said Harvest publishing 1970's. My dream would of course be first edition, first impression, hogarth press, purple cloth, dust jacket, signed by Virginia in her purple ink... but that dream is actually impossible! Do you have any other literary tattoos?
One of my favorite lines from Greta Gerwig's Little Women (I'm not sure if this was in the book) was, "You will be bored of him in two years, but we will be interesting forever." Friendships are just so more endurable due to their lack of expectations and hurdles.
as an aro ace, any book that distinguishes platonic love from romantic is a win for me, so thanks for sharing these books! and yes sayaka murata!! i'll read anything she writes 😭
i'm aro too, i was like, this is the video for me
Watching Jack talk about books is me procrastinating by doing something productive and a simultaneous act of self-care ❤❤❤
2:10 all
2:43 best of friends - kamila shamsie
7:38 all's well - mona awad
12:47 the book of goose - yeon (?) lee
The Book of Goose by Yiyun Li
We love you, Jack! You bring so much joy and insight into this community.
I LOVE the platonic love presented in friendships, I find it incredibly beautiful and pure, and I need read more ❤
Long-term friendships, especially the ones that have seen you develop as a person throughout several life faces, are so freaking important. I have a wonderful friend who I met when I was about 15yo. Due to different life changes, we stopped talking for about 3 years and have now reconnect again. When I'm with this friend I feel like a more honest and true version of myself vs. If I'm with newer friendships. It just really resonates with me that this person knows me in a very intricate way, and that feels very special... :)
This is such an interesting topic both in literature and in day to day life. I loved you mentioning your favorite phrases and quotes from the panel and the authors, you should totally do more videos like this!
I just finished reading Loveless by Alice Oseman today, which I feel also fits into this category in a way. There is a bit of romantic love, but it’s a side plot to the main character figuring out and coming to terms with being aromantic and asexual, realizing that she’ll never have a lifelong partner and some epic love story. But she finds that she already has love in her friendships, and there’s this one part that made me fucking cry where one of her friends tells her that she loves her, not in a romantic sense, but she does want to spend the rest of her life with her. It was so gorgeous and emotional and perfect, honestly
I think a friends break-up can be much worse than a lovers break-up. You share so much with them and they are so much a part of your life that that if/when it goes bad, it hurts so much. The Book Of Goose was amazing and I think you'll love it, it's sad and sparse, just like you like them!
I've had a really rough time with friendships recently; trying to set boundaries, figuring out how much of myself to give, grieving friendship breakups. Thank you so much for this, escalating these up my tbr!
wake up darling, Jack posted.
as an aromantic, i feel validated for my love for my friends
Having recently experienced the most gut wrenching heartbreak of my life, I’ve been so attuned to the importance of friendship in the past few months. This video is everything. Thank you, Jack 🤍
Jack’s enthusiasm about books is so contagious! I can’t get enough of Jack!
Thanks, Jack, my mind is so full from today’s video. Heading back to a 60 year high school reunion in June. Talk about knowing you at a certain time and context. Some will be the same after 60 years and others of us so very different!
just felt compelled to comment because this video really touched me…the way you delivered and spoke I mean I could just really feel and relate and I love that you made me contemplate and really think deeply before I’ve even READ the books haha
I want a book rec based on mother-daughter tropes.. Gilmore Girls vibes
the way my face lights up every time you post. :)
even when times are difficult, let yourself feel everything you need to feel. we love you jack!
9:06 being aroace has made me realize how true this is, and how friendships usually get pushed aside in media. very excited for these books
2:07 The Book of Geese by Yiyon Li
2:07 All’s Well by Mona Awad
2:15 Best of Friends by Kamika Shamsie
Also, Life Ceremony by Sayaka Murata is en route to London.
All's Well is so so SO good although not really centered around friendship as much as pain I thought, definitely my favorite Mona Awad book (better than Bunny in my opinion).
when jack posts, my tbr dresses up in a robe and holds a goblet to welcome all the new books like a cult leader and i am here for it
"friends save each others' memories"
I'm excited about this one. I really like your reviews, Jack. They have inspired me to read more, although I tend to read slowly. This content is not just my cup of tea, it's definitely my whole kettle. 😂😂😂
Aroace person here! I'm really grateful for the way you always talk about ALL the kinds of love, I hear you say it all the time and I will never get tired of it. So thank you and I love that you often recommend books about platonic love and found family etc. Just thanks ✨
Thank you inmensly for your service, Jack. Been thinking about friendships for a while now and there was so much that I couldn't put into words. I am giving this ones a go!
This may be one of my favorite videos yet it had a special atmosphere and felt really open, like sitting down with a friend. Thanks for sharing. And whatever turmoil you're dealing with I hope you find strength in your friendships, books and just small moments during the day. Friendships really are so special, two people making enough space in their lives to dive into someone else's world, feel their pain and their joy without any official term or commitment just because they at one point started to care and never stopped.
I adored Best of Friends - such a beautiful and thought-provoking novel with two very vivid protagonists, hope you enjoy!
Couldn’t agree more w all of your thoughts on this topic. I’ve always said we need more stories about platonic love and the beauty of it. I always love these types of stories sm! Will be adding all these books to my tbr asap
I love friendship in literature ❤
My best friend has stopped talking to me, and it truly is heartbreaking. It feels worse than a breakup, like things I see online I want to send her and shared interests remind me of her. It’s not really talked about, the loss of friendship and the impact it can have.
Great Jack!! Love to see a post about friendship in books! Maybe also, My brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante... mmm Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow has also a big friendship component... Oh wel, I'm rambling =S
I just finished reading a wonderful book about friendships (and books!) today. The book is 84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff.
Watching jack talk and talk about books is relaxing and yet quite informative
Keep up the good work you have all our support
it's so cool to hear you talk more about your own thoughts on friendship
I too believe there's a certain romance within friendships, glad to hear there's a book of the same idea!
Your videos are such a comfort for so many people. Thank you for being a light💞
i think friendship is the highest form of love thanks for making this video 🫶🏾 i love ur friends coz they love you :)
I love this video! Friendships are such a unique and beautiful dynamic and books that capture these relationships are so special! Thanks for sharing the discussions from the panel and I hope you love Life Ceremony as much as I did! ❤
I also love my friends SO MUCH, and these books seem so so interesting - thank you!
Warning this video will make you cry.
This is such a great video concept and thank you for sharing the quotes.
I'm very sorry to hear that your heart has been seriously bruised. That never feels good. I hope you rediscover your emotional resilience soon. It may sound cheesy or trite, but love really can be found in many forms and in many ways. The focus on friendship in these books is fabulous because it highlights how "just friends" isn't a consolation prize at all. It's a wonderful gift of true love.
I love watching people doing things they are passionate about
I love the way you talk about books. Very passionate.
I’m glad you have friends that are there to support you.
My weekend got so much better with this notification!!
It's very interesting to think about in terms of transitioning and presenting as a different gender than the one your old friends associate you with. I've found that even in a more progressive circle, old friends still have some resistance to seeing me as masc, and don't really notice other ways I've changed or stayed the same.
As a pakistani ❤ it warms my heart that you recommended kamala shamsei's book
🥰
I need a podcast from you Jack I swear I could hear you speak for hours
jack needing to get up in the middle to get rid of the pins and needles is SO REAL. it's me getting up in the middle of reading because some lines make me take a walk
More love from Syria republic 🇸🇾❤️
Wow just genius, thank you for sharing💖
As someone with chronic pain Alls Well was everything! I don’t really read that genre but it was so accurate. Worth reading
Life ceremony is the first book I finished in a long time. The stories are really weird, but relatable and cozy at the same time. Really enjoyed reading it. I think you will too!!
Well Jack, If there's anything I can do to make you feel better, since I found out about your channel 2 months ago, I have read more books than I had read my whole life prior to knowing you. You made me give value to books and reading in a very rough moment in my life! I hope that, with this message I can give the hope and comfort you have given me, back to you.♥
Kamila Shamsie is an author i firmly hold to be one of the greatest of our time - when I got an ARC of Best of Friends i was simply blown away by the complexity and depth of Zahra and Maryam's relationship - truly iconic
I've been waiting for someone to post a book video like this 😩
i would never categorize All’s Well as a “friendship book” that’s v interesting to me
As someone that migrated as a teen, you may have new and old friendships, but given time, those new friendships could endure to become old friendships too. You're never too old to make true friends.
i agree! the zadie quote means more that you have to work on friendships to develop them
Love all these recommendations!! Will keep an eye out for them when I'm book shopping.
Firefly Lane is a great Netflix show, but what I didn't know until recently is that it's a TV adaptation of a book! I haven't read it yet, but I loved the show and how it focuses on two women where the story isn't about their romantic life, but their friendship and how it evolves through the years. I especially loved how flawed the characters are, they felt very real. Like I said, haven't read the book yet, but I think it fits here!
Oh, and Kat Dennings recently shared You Will Find Your People, by Lane Moore, which is nonfiction about making meaningful friendships as an adult. Again, haven't read it myself, but it sounds useful.
When certain romantic relationships have ended, something I've really grieved within that is the absence of their friendship in my life.
your channels and videos have gotten me through some of the - toughest - romantic mishaps in recent years, i hope you find ease and peace of mind soon ♡
and for the record, those pants are fantastic
Jack please make one video about books on creativity and growing as an artist
For me, nothing beats "The philosophy of friendship" by Mark Vernon.
Friendship and literature💕💕💕the best combination
I’ve been searching for books about friendship for so long so will definitely check these out!
I completely agree with you about the importance of friendship. Good friends are always a few ones, but they mean so, so much in one's life. In fact two of the best books of all times deal with friendship: The Story of Gilgamesh and The Quixote. Both are very human heroes backed by very good friends. In the Quixote, both the Quixote and Sancho, so different at the beginning of the book, just get to be the best companions ever as the plot unfolds.
This is great! I've been looking for books about friendship lately, thanks :))
I don't have any friends in real life. I had a ton of friends in highschool and then when I became a teen Mom they all ditched me. They were all really excited through the entire pregnancy to, but then when I delivered only one came to the hospital and I never saw her again. They were plenty old enough to not have parents telling them no as it was senior year. Then, my ex was a psycho and he tried to kill me, so I've had PTSD for 18 years not with medications etc and my trust level is next to nothing. I date, bit I don't really do friends, presumably BC of how everyone I grew up with just dropped me during a hard time, being a new mom and in an abusive relationship. I do have three best friends whom I've never met but we've all talked now for some 11 or 12 years. They've helped me through trauma and my kids hardest years and we have all suffered losses etc. Only, we were over the phone or in a chat box. The world is such an interesting place when you can say your best friend is in a completely different country and you've never met and even moreso that when you NEED them they're there for you to talk, to cry to order pizza together from 2000 miles away and then rest it while watching the same show on Netflix 🤣 I love that my friendships are 100 percent communication based. Yes, it would be lovely to be close to each other, but the idea that our only options were to communicate or to not really means we know each other in a level that's very hard to achieve in real life BC tall life often gets in the way of the communication.
Honestly, if you’re looking for books about friendships, Alice Oseman’s novels are incredible for that, especially loveless & radio silence ❤
that video hit me. loved it. you have taken my feelings and put them into words
I used to love my friends and they were like brothers and sisters to me, but at some point I had to accept that I wasn't as important to them and walk away...
Oh, I love this video! My friends are the best thing in my days, each in a different way. A book about friends that always melts my heart is Reunion by Fred Uhlman. It brings me back to that period of late adolescence when we were extreme and intense in everything, but especially in friendship
Loved this video, such a fascinating discussion! I also adore reading about sisterly friendship for almost the exact same reasons ❤
My favorite book abut friendship is Winnie Poh, “If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.”
*me reaching out to one of my childhood friends, to reconnect this Summer.
thank you for this warm hug of a video
This video was fantastic! Pls do share more of what you learn in talks with us
i can’t stop bingeing your videos
I certainly love this morning cause Im watching your video. I dont follow english-speaking bloggers for so much because it's not my native language, except you, Jack ❤
I hope you are taking care of yourself and that you feel better soon ❤
PLEASE do the book tag!!! (From Steph’s video)
This was so fun!!! Thanks for uploading, even though you've been going through a tough time. We truly, TRULY appreciate it. All the Love from KSA!!!
i did not need a random youtube video to give me existential crisis on a random wednesday
Yesterday I bought Elizabeth Day's "Friendaholic" which is a non-fic all about friendships. Has anyone read it already? If so, what did you think? :)
Jack in his sad girl era :(
I want Jack to read letters to the lost and more than we can tell by Brigid Kemmerer 😭💗✋️
The King of Unhinged Behaviour is back after having a great coronation weekend 🔥
P.S. His smile is too much for my little heart.
I loveeee books about friendships
I loved this video ❤ I loved your reflections and the quotes
Great video Jack, I'd recommend you Stay True by Hua Hsu that's also about friendship (& the loss of it), I really think you'd love it.
this video hits me in all different ways
Nice explanation
I really loved and appreciate it
OMG! I love all your videos and I just want to give you a hug ♥Keep making these wonderful videos!!! Also, are you writing a book?