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How to Tell Hoarding Disorder from Messiness
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
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Thank you for explaining this in a non-judgemental and logical way. A huge issue is one of family abandonment. The stuff is the connection.
Kudos for the Video clip! Excuse me for chiming in, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you ever tried - Rozardner Amazing Soup Reality (do a search on google)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for revealing the simple method to declutter your home minus the normal expense. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my close friend Aubrey after many years got excellent success with it.
@@tonylars4128, The only thing that I can find when I search "rozardner amazing soup reality" is a weight loss program. I, nor my friend needing help, need to lose weight. Do you have a link? Thanks
Yes. Trauma, is a huge component. Abandonment is a form of trauma.
While I wasn’t a hoarder, I was disorganized and very messy. I felt overwhelmed with what I had, how to keep things in order.
As I did work on my trauma, and faced me feelings and fears, it just became naturally so much easier to organize and make decisions.
I found out I had fearful avoidant attachment style. Healing my core wounds, subconscious programming, changing my narratives, all helped me feel empowered and peaceful in a way I never imagined.
The Personal Development School helped me so much. She has a RUclips channel, that I followed for a year, before doing clases through the school. Life changing.
A side benefit, I no longer over eat like I did, I don’t crave alcohol. Dealing with the root issues and pain, helped with the whole of my life!
I've known some hoarders and have also been one. I thought I'd write a few thoughts and experiences here in case someone might be interested. According to what I've experienced, these are some possible reasons people hoard:
They think there may be a time when they can't acquire or replace items. So they feel they need more than one of an item. This can be fairly short term, like keeping all old clothes in case you need something to paint in or for doing yard work. Or buying a shirt you like in every color because you might not be able to find that shirt again in the store. I knew a lady with over 400 pairs of shoes, generally because she would buy her size in every color of a particular comfortable style. She did likewise with her clothes. With hoarders, that mindset will apply to other items too. Or it can be more like prepping for Armageddon. Though many preppers are organized with their stockpiles.
They are subconsciously isolating (and insulating) themselves from society or visitors. It's a built in excuse not to let people into their lives if no one can get through the barriers (or the front door). They become like bears in their caves.
It can be a ready excuse not to keep up with home maintenance. A sort of self defeating behavior that people engage in. Once things get out of hand, it can be overwhelming to think about them and natural to put them off. The hoard often prevents someone from seeing other issues. Many hoarders are natural procrastinators.
They are saddened by the idea of "waste". They can point to the items and name a potential use for each one. They can't see discarding something that might be useful. That idea can be applied to things like stuffed animals, old couch cushions, or pieces of foil.
They can feel wealthy when considering their hoard. Instead of investing in a bank, they invest in things. It is more comforting as a "tangible" asset. And there are those who think that money is worth more now than it will be later, so buy your goods now to get more goods. Because tomorrow...inflation and who knows?
They are saving things for others. Knowing their children might like to have grandma's letters, documents, or furniture. Their kids might want baby items when they have children. Or a teacher might save craft supplies, old handouts that might be reused, or old t-shirts that the class might want to tie dye sometime. There are people who will shop bargains with the full intention of donating or gifting them to someone else. I knew a wealthy old man who kept brown bags of sale items he'd picked up in stores, just so he could give them to random people. And there are people who will buy for Christmas years in advance, then might not get around to giving the gifts because they've forgotten they bought them or where they are.
Physical illness or aging. Of course, this is unintentional hoarding. Over time, things accumulate. Plans and goals go unmet. If someone is chronically ill or just can't get around any more, it can be hard to keep up. Then as the mess gets bigger, it gets harder. Help is hard to ask for if someone had been accustomed to helping themselves, and someone can be too ashamed to seek help.
If anyone is still reading....(This is a word hoard!)..... I'm not sure which of these would be diagnosed as being a hoarding disorder. I find it hard to distinguish when it comes to technical diagnoses. I sometimes think that some accumulators were just squirrels in a previous life. It also seems that individuals will have an experience that sends them into hoarding behavior. Or hoarding will sort of creep up on them. Anyway, if anyone is reading, these are types that I've come across.
Some very creative and organized in their thinking, in spite of the piles around them. Some guarding their stash like a Midas. Many blind to the cluttered landscape. Some sort of lost in the heap.
These are some pretty creative reasons.
I heartily agree, and recognise myself in these descriptions, especially the isolated chronically ill person who's created a comfortable nest of things who enjoys shopping for others well in advance.
@@vermilliongecko I'm sorry you find yourself in that position, particularly the chronic illness. I have a bit of that myself, and keeping things tidy is not high on my priority list. When people talk about hoarding or having many things as isolating, I think they sometimes miss that cluttering can occur because of isolation, and it isn't necessarily the cause of it, though I suppose it can make it worse. It is true that feeling rotten much of the time means that I take advantage of a "good day" and I accumulate, because you never know what you'll need when you are having the bad ones. As I've gotten older, I don't feel the need to fight myself when it comes to trying to be less cluttery. Maybe it's a matter of choosing our battles.
I like the stories you shared:)
@@zhongbertha2172 That's kind of you. : )
My wife is a shopping addict and a hoarder: cookbooks, spices, kitchen appliances, clothes, sewing and quilting material, and lots of other things. She bought about 100 cookbooks, but she cooks very little. I have thrown about 50 of her never-used cookbooks in the trash. She has never noticed. She filled a bedroom with sewing and quilting material and then started filling up another bedroom. I have thrown away five large trashcans of that material, and so far she never noticed.
Be the man she needs and stop that shit.
she fills the hole of time she want to enjoy.
I am really sorry for that dude, I hope your wife and you will be ok
She possibly has ADHD. … the Adult Female Variety. Please don’t throw away her stuff…please take it to a charity or local school.
She might also be lonely
Another thing I've noticed is that though they care about the items they dont typically display them in a way that would indicate that they dont actually enjoy looking at them. They end up in piles, inside ugly bags, hiding under things etc.
As a hoarder, I can tell you that we do enjoy looking at those items, it's just that there's simply too much stuff to fit on shelves or in cabinets. This difference in perception of value is the difference between a hoarder and a non-hoarder. Just because I don't display things like you does not mean that I don't value them.
Why did this comment make me so angry? This sounds like something my mom has said to me, "you obviously don't actually care about it" OK. Pretend to understand me more, because that's shown helpful..
@@JessicaL085 I am speaking from my personal experience, besides being a hoarder, my ex husband was very emotionally and physically abusive. I used to look at the piles of broken stuff he collected and felt like I was part of that collection. Due to his controlling behavior I didn't even get to see a dentist for 10 years. That said, I am definitely not a minding mother type. I have a lot of clutter myself, I just enjoy organizing it and taking care of it. My daughter is a teenager with a messy room on the other hand. I'm not concerned about her at all and don't give her any orders to clean because I know that beyond her mess she has normal social skills.
Jen Baker delivers a message that allows the hoarder and those concerned about a hoarding situation to understand what's happening in a compassionate way. Good video.
I'm a hoarder (just stuff, not garbage or anything unclean, but I also keep cartboard or little boxes) and I got help a few years back.
In a nutshell, it was the wrong person. She basically grabbed stuff and put it in a trashbag. Mumbling things like; 'Ugh and that too!' or 'You don't need that!' or 'That is worthless!.'
As a result, I started hiding items from her and I was terrified of what she might throw away next. She'd shown disregard to everything I loved, whether it was a big empty cerealbox for crafting or my current embroidery-work that I'd _just_ laid back on the table. Everything had to go in her view. She stayed and 'helped' me for about a year. Some items broke when she threw them in the binbag, I couldn't retrieve those. The rest was rescued from the bag, of course, so we were absolutely making zero progress and she did not listen to me whatsoever.
It took me 3 years to trust someone to help me again and I kept re-checking whether she wasn't throwing stuff out without me knowing about it.
As soon as she established that I was in charge and that I was responsible for my own home and it was mý house and mý decisions...thát's when we slowly made progress.
There's still clutter, there's still purchases, there's still stuff, but my house is at the least 2/3's emptier than it was a year ago.
And now I know it's *my* decision and I'm in charge and it's about my wellbeing and not about "the house being clean"..the whole cleaning up isn't something to dread anymore.
@Will Swift Well, to respond to your questions in chronological order, I personally wouldn't have the money to 'order one' if I wanted to. In my case, I also collect because whatever I get for free, I don't have to purchase. Same can be said about boxes and jars, it saves you money to purchase similar items in the store.
It's just that nowadays, there's such an abundance of jars and boxes that keeping everything is impossible. Not to mention, people sometimes feel like it's "such a waste" to throw away something like a thick, large cerealbox that (give or take) 40 years ago, would be used to store items in the attic.
Throwing away something that people have spend so much time on, can also (for some) trigger feelings of abandonment that they have experienced in their life. If they feel like they are the only one that appreciates the item, they want to keep it and 'shield it' from the outside world where it will be crushed and thrown out, much as the world has often crushed and underappreciated their abilities and personality.
(Because there is ofcourse, factually nothing wrong with a clean, empty ice-cream-box and it is pretty much the same as a plastic box you buy in the store for 3 dollars. The difference is the label and the words 'ice cream' on it. But even some labels can be removed from a jar or box, so you end up with clean, empty boxes, that are perfectly usable for a second round of use. It's just that you don't need that for everytime you purchase ice cream.)
I got my motivation to throw out/donate those things, by realizing that cartboard can often be properly recycled, so that can definitely go and indeed, in emergencies, I could buy a new one. Ice-cream boxes can be donated to larger places (shelters or crafting-communities) where they can stack them with beads and craftingsupplies. My egg-cartons are being donated to a farm nearby, that takes off the labels and puts their own eggs in them, to sell.
And so on. It takes some time, definitely, but I have connections with the farm-visitors and the crafting-community, so whenever I meet them, I will hand them the supplies and the boxes/cartboard will be gone again, and I'll continue collecting them, because I dó keep purchasing eggs, no matter what the box can be used for.
The second question you asked, was a bit vague, in my opinion. To teach a hoarder that they can gain valuable skills....are you suggesting they just sit in their house all day and stare at their belongings? Unless the person is absolutely depressed, that is not the case.
And in the case of depression, the hoarding is just a symptom and the depression is something to resolve. I'm not really familiar with that.
I am someone that, throughout the day, paints, draws, writes and sings. I love German (my second favourite language, after my own language Dutch) and have a penpal in Germany that I write long letters to. Sometimes there are special occassions, and I craft a painting, statue or story for someone specifically. Like when someone is celebrating their birthday, when someone has lost a loved one (or a beloved pet) or when someone is leaving a community that I am associated with. I can indulge in crafting and spend hours creating a personal gift. I know that paying attention to the details is a valuable gift that I have and I like to use it too. The more I feel comfortable in my own skin (and realize that I am a strong individual that has the right to decide what I do and what I don't do) the more I feel motivated to show the world my skills and my art.
Which brings me to your last question, which sounds like a very misguided plan. I hope you weren't planning on actually going through with that.
I know a woman that has had that happen to her (an old aunt) and she never forgave the woman (her sister) that did that to her.
She died a few years later, still bitter and upset about the betrayal. Her sister kept saying; 'But your house is clean now, aren't you happy?!'
But she wasn't and they never spoke again after what the sister did.
What I needed, to feel comfortable with letting go, was to feel like I had the last say in what was going to happen.
The worst thing to me, that happened, was when someone came into my home (disrespected my boundaries and my livingroom and personal opinion) and started deciding for me. It made me feel like I wasn't there, like I didn't matter. I did not feel like I was appreciated, I felt like my items were disrespected and me as well. I had to save myself and the items from this woman, I felt, that would damage both, like I (and the items) were worthless.
As soon as I felt like I was in controll, I started making changes. Nobody touches my stuff, but me. And as soon as that was clear, I felt the space to start making decisions.
The problem is not with the house, the problem is in the person's mind. So the solution should be in their mind too.
People have forced hoarders to clean before and they (sometimes) show a perfect result, especially in American tv-shows. What they don't show, is that a few months later, those people have started hoarding again, whether secretly or just took everything back.
Let me put it this way; If someone is addicted to food, because they eat away their problems, you can throw away their candy without them knowing. And put lettuce in the refrigerator.
But when they come home and want to eat away their problems, there won't be any candy and they will be extremely upset and buy (much) more candy, to deal with that feeling.
And then never let you anywhere near the house again.
They have to deal with the problems in their mind (whether it be war-traumas or self-esteem issues or depression or sexual assault, rape, death, divorce, and so on) and then the healing will be visible in the way they breathe, eat, sleep, work, laugh, speak and live, and the way their house and appearance looks (clean, wholesome and practical and balanced.)
Also, not to shield the hoarder too much, because there can always be multiple problems, especially with heavy mental issues...but my mom once said to me; 'Dear, hoarding is not the right way to deal with your issues, you know that. And it'll have to change. But I am glad that it isn't anything more serious. It is a coping-mechanism, and it is easier to get rid of than heroin, selfharm, alcohol or similar coping-mechanisms that people with mental problems use.'
Thank you for sharing your experience. I unknowingly married into a hoarder family. And I have been trying to educate myself on this disorder because I want my wife to get help. She will get rid of a few things here and there with the proper prompting. But only after a very long struggle, and only if someone is there to encourage her to part with it/talk her through it. So the process of a clear-out (which we are currently undertaking) takes ages. Also she needs to be properly motivated but in the end make the decision herself. She is VERY strong-willed. So sometimes even if I deem it junk (like old holiday decorations) she will still keep it.
Prior to marriage the house was a little cluttered but still within the standards of normal. However shortly after getting married my MIL passed away leaving behind her massive hoard. My partner and one of her siblings brought a large portion of the hoard into the home. They DID go through the hoard together and I think maybe all of 2 boxes were discarded (I haven’t counted the boxes but I would estimate maybe 50 boxes altogether.) After asking them recently to go through it I was told they already did and that all of this fell into the “keep” category.
Unfortunately it doesn’t end there. DVDs, CDs, glassware, holiday decorations both DIY and store-bought, clothes, old schoolwork, knick-knacks, figurines, ceramics, and snow globes of all sorts are hoarded. And children’s toys (we don’t have kids). Once I tried to give the toys away to actual kids and she was VERY uncomfortable. I was like they are meant to be played with! By kids! And no they weren’t toys from her childhood. They were toys given to her as stocking stuffers at Easter and Xmas.
@@beautyintheskies Ah, I can imagine that's a very difficult process. Are you the only one going through the items with her or is thre a professional that can be brought in?
I can imagine it can put an extra strain on the marriage when you 'are the one' that is helping her with these things.
I can imagine that it helps when she searches through the items with a woman that helps her and then you can chime in and figure out a new good cause when they call you in, or something.
Especially for 'heavy cases' it's always nice to have a professional nearby, also to lighten the load on your shoulders a bit.
I had a boyfriend back in the day that needed therapy and would ask me for advice, but I was not objective/impartial to the situation and would have trouble giving advice about people/situations that I was personally involved in. I told him to get therapy with a therapist and discuss things with me afterwards, without asking proper advice, but to share and vent a little bit here and there.
He didn't end up taking the advice, but I did notice that in the end, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't have done it on my own and the more I tried to help, the more 'unsafe' it felt for him. (Although that might ofcourse not be the case for your wife.)
I’m so sorry to hear about the experience you had with the first “helper”🙁 I can totally relate to the pain and panic that overwhelmed you when she was throwing away everything… I a similar experience when my partner wanted to get rid of my hobby items (fabric/knits/etc) - I felt violated, robbed of my precious things, it was terrible…
So pleased you got the kind of help you needed and perservered to find it after that first very bad experience. Well done you!
I think they should make a heartfelt movie where the main character has this disorder : it could be a good way to raise awareness :)
There's a book called "The Missing Treasures of Amy Ashton" that would make a very good movie. Hoarding, a vanished boyfriend, an unsolved mystery, a little light non-explicit romance.
another book called planetfall by Emma Newman@@LaundryFaerie
My late brother had a problem with hoarding. We cleared the family home twice its distressing to see your own family in this type of crisis. He was also a high functioning autistic. We tried to get him help but he was very private and would not accept it from us. He thought he was independent but really he wasn't coping. He sadly died during the first wave of the pandemic.
Of?
We wonder if hoarding is a fear of going broke, which would lead to a fear of death. Often, we save things, thinking how expensive things would be to replace, or thinking if we sold the things, how much profit could we make ? Money is the issue here.... fear of not have a resource for the financial gain.
I had a clutter problem after I divorced my abusive husband, I started drinking heavily as well, put myself in a 30 day treatment center and when I got for a day pass I came home to find a roll off parked in my driveway FULL of laundry, expensive bags, photo albums, jewelry boxes, pretty much my entire home. My mom was "sick of my junk" and hired people to come throw everything out, even though she rarely visited my home. I was so upset!!
Letters from my husband from the good days, cards from him to our children. My ex husband died a few yrs later and a wave of panic came over me. I had nothing to give our kids that was his! My mom threw everything out! I feel like this is part of the reason I have trouble getting rid of anything! I keep broken earrings, and broken jewelry, cards and papers. I have severe adhd as well. I'm too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone! My kids rooms are clean, but they're too embarrassed to have people over =( I feel ashamed
What your mum did was a violation. I'm sorry she did that to you.
I had the clutter response as a result of being married to a narcissist.
Get therapy
I am so sorry your Mum did that to you. I understand why she did it, but it was done with a total non-understanding of your needs. It was very harsh. I hope you will reach out for help to someone who understands your pain. You will be in my prayers.
Choose to get rid of just 3 items a day. Start with easy stuff to decide on - your total decision on what they will be to go. Before throwing them away - thank them, but tell these items that you don’t want them taking up your physical and mental space anymore. After a year or two, your home will be thinned out, and you will have done it all by yourself. You will be proud of the result, and there will be no shame. Get rid of the things that bring you shame, that don’t spark joy. You are obviously a very aware and feeling person. Believe that you can do this, and you will. Don’t believe, and nothing will change.
I wish any of my friends cared enough to help me clean up even a little. And I feel like hiring hoarding helpers would be difficult because I need someone to help me talk through getting rid of certain things, not just help throw everything away. My mom berates me daily because she just thinks I'm lazy and messy when in reality it's a handful of mental disorders that she loves to dismiss. I hope there's ever light at the end of this tunnel. To anyone also struggling with this and other things, I wish you the best and hang in there 😔
I understand how you feel. It's layers of things in the mind.
I’ve got a lot of stuff in my house, but I’ve found that getting rid of something every day (maybe 5 minutes going through a small area) is helping. I started a week or two ago and although it could take a long time it feels like I’m finally getting somewhere, after years of telling myself to have ‘one big declutter’. Good luck ❤️
Family are the worst at helping you sort through things because they're too emotionally involved. Professional cleaners just want to get the job done and don't care how you feel. Only a psychologist who specialises in hoarding can really help.
@@hannahc2836 I honestly believe that if a friend that knew me closely would try to help, this would be drastically less of an issue. I know it's tough to believe bc you don't know my exact situation but as someone that 100% would love therapy, I know things would be so much easier if a friend offered to help AT LEAST. For me, not for everyone is in a similar sitch ofc.
Friends are only human too... They are not our Saviors, they too can become overwhelmed, or get ill from too much demand.
Thanks for explaining the difference between hoarding and messiness. I had a problem years ago and was going to therapy after the loss of a few special people in my life. I really didn't have much time to clean up the mess because I was in survival mode at the time. I became annoyed with my therapist for even saying that I was a hoarder. My space became messy because of my lack of time and working two jobs to get ahead. She also said that my mother committed suicide because she refused to eat at the end of her life. People really need to be careful with their words and labels as therapist. I was only being transparent, she chose to label instead, and her labels were wrong.
Thank you for explaining...I am a hoarder and I am trying to un-hoard and stay that way. Lucky for me I only hoard clothes/shoes but I can't stand my room, living room, my house is full of clothes.
I was the same way with clothes, shoes, and makeup years ago but thankfully I had a big house! Or maybe not so thankfully as it obscured reality and made me think I didn’t have a lot. I started donating, tossing, and selling...still doing it and it feels great. Maybe you can start small and start asking yourself what you really need and what you can do without? Good luck!
This confirms what i suspected about my late wife. Because of our circumstances we tended to move every three years. Each move became significantly more difficult as she accumlated hand me downs from her mother. Eventually we ended up with a a 10X40 storage unit that was filled to the brim as was our two car garage, the dining room, the living room, the closets, parts of our bedrooms and the hallway. Any attempt to reduce things caused huge arguments between us. We were unoffically seperated when she passed, and all the items were either donated, tossed away or taken by her family members without my consent. When i relocated to another part of the country my apartment belongs fit easily into a 10x15 storage unit (going back this month to take that to our Son who will be getting his own place soon). All my cherished items fit nicely into my compact hatchback car. That included my dog who took up the front passenger seat. Now I live with my elderly Mother who seems to have the same issue😂.
Thank you, Jen Baker. A very interesting and comprehensive explanation which is easy to understand a very difficult mental health condition.
WOW. Very informative. Thanks very much. I have OCD and I have hoarders disorder.
She's right, I keep clothes I don't wear that were my sister's. I was thinking if making a blanket of parts of the clothes and throw the rest. We will see...
My mom is a hoarder... I've never been allowed to have company, and if people came over it was very embarrassing. I grew up so ashamed of home and very isolated. It's never as bad as the people on TV, but... pretty bad. There are unnecessary obstacles all over the house, and she continues to buy things literally every day. There are multiples of everything, and trying to clean up without her permission stresses her out. I feel like my mom is kind of marking her territory. The places that are useable are for my dad or company. There is still crazy clutter and random stuff in these places that apparently she doesn't see, but she does notice anyone else's items in the space, or if her things are touched. It's so bizarre. I live out of a suitcase. I've never settled down or invested in nesting. I'm not sentimental. I think these things are related.
ugh, I know that feeling in regards to being embarrassed to have visitors come home. Now my mother has managed to get things for free and trade stuff with neighbors, so there's really weird/useless things at her place. The worst part is trying to convince her to donate or toss useless/broken things. Thanks to Covid my mother has a closet full of canned food and rice/beans of free food she keeps getting form food shelves. Sadly because she keeps it organized it's not a problem in her mind.
@@tuffguydoe7937 Having an organised backup pantry is not hording, it's preparing. Those foods will likely keep for quite a long time and provide insurance against shortages and inflation. That's okay. It's sensible even.
This actually makes sense. Sighs, some of my family say that my husband and I are hoarders. but we are not. I feel realived to get rid of items , however, i do have some issues with feeling unsafe in a clean enviroment. it feels to open and scary. like clean is not my normal.. Chaos, i can handle that.. but clean.. feels good for a while but is terrifying
Sounds more like agoraphobia, fear of open spaces. Not necessarily though, I also find comfort in a messy environment where I feel a bit more "cosy" but I don't have agoraphobia.
I feel more comfortable with a little mess in the house, can easily find stuff in that situation than in a super organized and clean house. It's like having a brand new mobile phone and the only time i feel comfortable using it is when it fell to the floor at least once or twice. My dad is the opposite and whatever is not in place he will throw away regardless it is new, important or not because usually we don't really notice it's gone and he doesnt like to many stuff in the house.
I seen the shows and hoarding can get pretty bad in ways. if no real space to just walk around anything and gotta crawl over stuff to get to any room, then its a problem with safety and all. seen variety and there is hoarding and extreme hoarding to where u cant even open doors any sometimes or hard time doing so.
You should keep a sensible space around yourself, do you like walking a set path for one person to fit in at a time? What good is your stuff doing for you in your everyday life?
admirable vocabulary very professional. 2 thumbs up.
I think I just started being a hoarder 2 years ago especially papers. It's not that bad yet and I'm forcing myself to let go after 3 family members said I'm acting like a hoarder. It started when I moved from California with only a suitcase after my significant other died in a fiery car crash with another woman who was drunk driving. I spent a few years fighting to get on ssi for severe ankylosing spondylitis that caused me a hunchback by 40. I was ignored and misdiagnosed since 13. I can only think that combination has started it up. But, after my family talked to me and I watched hoarders and other videos like this one I said this stops now.
Hi I hope that you are doing better now, so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. Bless you!
What kind of papers? News?
There’s one other reason people save things: to quite literally “save” them, as in prevent them from going to waste. If it ends up in a landfill, that’s bad, so it has to be saved. This is especially common with animal hoarders, who don’t see how their hoarding actually harms the animals.
I bring stuff that someone else can use to the salvation army. It helps a great deal to know you are actually helping another person who might need the clothes or items.
Thank you very much for taking the time to make this very helpful and informative video.
I wish Gary Null would listen to you. He's all for going in and getting rid of everything except what HE thinks is necessary. And he teaches that at his seminars, encouraging people to stop being friends with people who don't tolerate his way of handling it. I'm happy to get rid of any "friends" who agree with him.
Thank you for nicely touching on the essentials and basics!
My guess for those with the extra land is to set up a storage facility outside of the living area.
In the suburbs it may help to rent a storage facility to clear up the clutter in the living areas.
I believe it can help for more clear thinking to get clutter cleared up.
Thank you
Storing clutter away to a storage unit……it is still there cluttering. Just in a different spot. My sister had 3 storage units at one time. She spent so much money, time going to them, and looking for and moving stuff around.
Now she owns another apartment in her building, and has moved everything there. She presents well upstairs in a clean sparse apartment, but downstairs is wall to wall, floor to ceiling full with little goat paths everywhere. Double life.
@@beeARTcanada
In some ways it is different for everyone.
Keep fighting it!
Inch by Inch it's a Cinch
Keep the circulation going. Keep moving about.
I like “Keep the circulation going”. YES, keep fighting it.@@dandavatsdasa8345
Scenario: You're a growing adult starting to build her own life, but is highly encouraged to stay with parents until transferring to a different university. You're dealing with school, work, mental stabilities (hobbies to boost this, most likely), friendships, and, since you're living with people, maintaining relationships within those walls. The typical workload that's underestimated as "not a big deal" to people who are really just starting out at life. In trying to do so, you get called a hoarder because your tiny-ass room doesn't fit your whole life comfortably within a closet and some baskets, or you get exhausted trying to keep up with reality to the point where cleaning is no longer a top priority. Then you do some research because that accusation hurts, and come to find out that you're just dealing with an overreactive mother who buys too many bikes. Sounds fun, right?
Edit, because I'm not done being frustrated: She knows for a fact that I'm perfectly fine with tossing trash and donating things I don't want. I do it when I have the time and energy, i.e. when I'm NOT having to focus what skimpy energy I have on several different subjects throughout the day. I'm not as outgoing as others, but I'm certainly not lacking in attitude to get shit done. She literally made me regret spending an hour with her tonight. I could have just stayed in my room to catch up on schoolwork and avoided being here.
My friend's apartment is cluttered but is it "hoarded"? I ask myself. The only accessibility issue is the kitchen where the jammed up countertops, shelves and cabinets make all but simple meals impossible to prepare. Better organization would help a lot but small spaces (apartments, rooms, bathrooms) are a challenge.
It's not a question of too little space. If you have too much stuff for the space you have, you're hoarding. If you live in a small space, you need to have less stuff.
Curing cerebral palsy is challenging. Keeping your home clean is work.
@@DD-d6d3 that isn't true.
@@DD-d6d3 Rubbish. If you had to move from a three bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment with all your belongings, you develop a hoarding disorder overnight?
For a person to be considered to have a hoarding disorder, one of the criteria is that they cannot use rooms for their intended purpose, eg. they cannot sleep in the bedroom, sit in the sitting room, bathe or shower in the bathroom, or cook in the kitchen. It sounds like your friend's kitchen is on the brink of being 'hoarded'.
We live in a two bedroom townhome and barely have room as is and my significant other refuses to get rid of some of his clothes he’s not even wearing anymore we have absolutely no more space to store things and I’m literally getting annoyed because he’s very messy as well it’s to a point I just want separate homes so he can be messy and hoard in peace I just feel so closed in and unhappy living in messiness
IMO it can be similar to an addiction where everything and everyone is secondary to the addiction/way of life. It can so easily push away love and caring relationships. I recommend reevaluating if you want to continue to live with this person as it won't get any better if he/she doesn't have any insight about the problem. Sometimes losing a relationship is a wake up call but not always. Life is too short regardless if your 20, 40 or 60.
Very informative...thank you for posting this!!
10/2023.......As an Artist I discovered that I loved collecting stuff. Some famous people became obsessive collectors , and their hoarded stuff ended up in museums and in collections. Pop Artist Andy Warhol, collected hundreds of cookie jars. When he died his estate put his collection in a museum. I began collecting weird stuff in my teens. If one were to go to any flea market, anywhere, they would find individuals with obsessive collections. Buttons, baseball cards, gum ball machine trinkets, carnival and penny arcade prizes,....etc. America is the breeding ground of obsessive collecting. Nothing makes me more excited than to see hundreds upon, upon hundreds of tiny little things like thimbles, matchbox toy cars, spoons, trading cards, cigar wrapper labels, and every thing one can think of. I knew a guy who collected working and non-working pipe organs and all the parts and pieces that make up a pipe organ. The pipes, the keys, the springs, the valves,.....they are all things of beauty and intrigue. I collected salt and pepper shakers, they were made in every color, every material and were produced as souvenirs for World Fairs, openings to major expositions. For a time in college I collected antique vacuum cleaners, I quit at around 50 of them as they do take up space. I joked how collected them as they collected dust, sitting on my shelves and in my closets. I never used any of them to actually vacuum up anything. I thought I found my niche, until they invented the Internet, and I discovered many people collect them. I collected prosthetic limbs too,.....artificial legs, arms, all custom built in the 1900s, & 1920s, and 1950s,........They were creeping out my girlfriend, so I slowly gave them all away. Some people collect and hoard table top globes of the world. My mannequin collection was legendary. I had them in every gender and every age group including toddlers and babies. I preferred the bra modelers, and stocking singular legs. I had boxes of hands. My art was made from found materials and stuff I gleaned from junkyards. I love old fashioned junkyards. People who collect fossils and gems stones, have millions of them, in their houses. I even collected display cases, and thought about having an exhibit of nothing but display cases and display boxes. I hate to throw away well made cardboard boxes,....small ones, or well designed ones. Surely it is madness, but the pleasure it give us, is priceless.
I feel like I fall in between. I moved into my grandparent's house after they passed. They lived there for 50 years so I have all their stuff and mine. It's been hard getting rid of stuff for sentimental value and because I've seen it my whole life, I feel like it'd be weird seeing other stuff or no stuff.
Would it help to realize you are entitled to your own life? ❤
disorder, maybe but where does personal responsibility kick in? where does empathy for friends, relatives. ems, etc kick in?
There is often an underlying personality disorder that totally blocks the person from even having insight/awareness to the disruption and suffering, and is sometimes an auxillary aspect of the abuse that many personality-disordred people are capable of. For these people insight takes years and years of intensive therapy, and even to that point they don't have the skills to deal with the material reality of their disease
Thank You Very Much for your Beautiful explanation
I'm sort of in the middle. I want my mess GONE. I'm not attached to the vast majority. I do tend to keep things "just in case" or because I see the item as perfectly useful (but haven't actually thought of some way I will need to use it).
I ended up with three houses worth of stuff while planning for a move. We had nothing so I was asking around for stuff. Ended up with too much. During this time and after the move I went for three surgeries and wasn't able to do anything about all the excess. Unfortunately now my husband works all the days the dump is open. Our municipal dump is a 20 minute drive away and I don't have a vehicle to get things to the dump.
I think the biggest issue is that I have ASD-1 and my husband has ADHD. It's incredibly difficult for us to get the energy and motivation to deal with things when he has time off. It's all very frustrating. I certainly don't want my home to be the way it is. I'm so very ashamed and embarrassing. When I try to deal with it myself executive function struggles set in and I shut down or have a meltdown. 😔
I thought I just had a shopping addiction but I’m starting to realize it’s more like hoarding disorder. I didn’t have most of my needs met as a child, so I’m always focusing on resources, and having backups. I get anxious when I start to use something I bought or if it’s close to empty. I’m anxious about throwing away things that have one or two uses left, but I don’t use them for years. This goes into even food and drinks. I have bottles of coke in the fridge I’m saving indefinitely because “it has a sip in it”. I never drink it, but when my fiancé tries to throw it out I feel panicked. I let him because I know that’s silly, but the anxiety is there. My house is starting to get very cluttered with purchases, not nearly to “physical danger” point, but my finances are in danger. My mom was a hoarder in a very unhealthy way - like Diogenes syndrome - and that’s how I was raised. Both my parents ended up dying, and I’m terrified that my memories are attached to objects, because they really are all I have left from any of my family or friends. I have receipts and paper straw wrappers collected in boxes because they were from a time I went out with a loved one and I want to hold on to as much of them as I can. I try to go thru intentional purges and get rid of my stuff, but I can’t throw anything away until an intentional purge, which keeps my space messy.
I need my things to share my memories with. Nobody else left.
Gary Null, @ his 2020 retreat spoke of clearing his friend's apartment out in 12 hours and then stopping his friendship with her because it stressed her and she brought things back in. He basically advised people not to be friends with people who cannot accept that type of help!
Sounds like he needs to mind his own business.
I want to hug this woman 😭 and side note I love her hair
I think there is also a 4th monetary/economic/budgeting element as well: holding on to something because of the guilty feeling that arises from getting rid of something you spent good money on. Any thoughts on that?
At some point, an item that’s been hoarded for year looses its monetary value, or it becomes clear that the investment will never be returned regardless of what you do with it. Eventually a healthy person realizes that their own health and their space is more important than an old item that they can’t find a buyer for.
@@sabinegray1450 it’s the plans had for the item. We don’t acquire shit we haven’t once been a person to make use of. And we stop acquiring shit we aren’t looking forward to making use of. I can see the anticipation also being fear-based. For instance hoarding food says you’ve been hungry before. And it’s not that it’s going to become edible it’s reluctance guilt difficulty throwing food away which I think also maybe in part sometimes comes from having looked forward to preparing and enjoying whatever food it was.
Whatever setback causes the loss of concentration or motivation or enjoyment or ability to use the collected material has been underestimated or continues to be inflicted but it’s not accepted and processed though. The acquisitions are thought/wished to be eminently useful.
@@sabinegray1450 Not true for books.
Very helpful! Thanks. I have a friend I'm worried about. So much clutter that actual cleaning is impossible, so he and his daughter are living in filth.
So sad to hear that.
I’m not sure I fit the hoarder definition you’ve provided, but some things I am reluctant to downsize because of financial insecurity. What if I can’t afford to replace those items? I want to downsize badly. My home is out of control. I just can’t afford to hire someone to help me do it, and my back issues limit what I can do. It’s also mentally overwhelming.
I'd say poverty is a risk factor. I was homeless and now I'm homed in a dump where I'm hoarding, because I don't have anything else in my life of value.
Something worth mentioning, never attempt to diagnose some random stranger on the internet. It's highly unethical. Use this information to help a freind or a relative, but never comment on people's videos etc calling them a hoarder. It's not going to help them, and may cause a great deal of distress. Also, as regular non-professionals, one cannot diagnose a strange accurately.
I feel it can help, with somebody who has borderline hoarding tendencies, to suggest decluttering and see how they react. They will often immediately focus on the things they just can't bring themselves to get rid of, and get into a panic thinking they'll have to get rid of their prized collection of whatever, or their family heirlooms and personal treasures. I've found that it's reassuring to tell them that NO they won't have to get rid of that stuff at all. Instead, maybe get rid of the 200+ empty yogurt containers that are clogging up a cupboard, and keep maybe 4 or 5 of them. (And point out they'll have more room to enjoy the things they truly love, if they can get rid of the peripheral accumulations of stuff.) I think it's easier for them to get their heads around decluttering if you can focus them on the stuff they're hanging on to out of habit, rather than out of a genuine feel for the items.
Jen Hi! I am sinking fast here. My husbands hoard is growing...and he is going to retire. He is a fireman. I have to sneak to throw things away. Even food. He gets very upset if I say anything. Me? Opposite end and I like to organize everything. I'm scared.
Tonya Moony I hope you’re doing okay
Omg I feel so bad for you. Hopefully his accumulation has shrunk due to your efforts :(
Time to cut your losses!
My mother is a hoarder. I wish my father would divorce her, but he avoida it. She likely also has personality disorders. She has been to therapy but only chooses clinicians who enable her and don't push against her absent insight. As a young adult I am realizing the level of physical suffering I went through because of the dust mites, moving through spaces for basic things like laundry. I have been working in secret but also have very hard boundaries about not complying with her requests to stop when she sees the decluttering. I will not have a relationship with this woman unless/until she goes through PROPER treatment, which is very unlikely despite our clinical opportunities in our area and good insurance, because she needs to make the choice. I am slowly removing objects I value from my childhood that are deep in piles, and leaving, no turning back. It's so painful but it's the healthiest thing I can do.
What happened?
What to do when the horder is in denial and is insulated and becomes angry when confronted with the fact that they have a problem..
It has destroyed an 17yr relationship that the hoarder is oblivious to(sad)..
Sounds like my mom and she just yells at me when I tell her she doesn't need 3 meter sticks or that random block of wood and I call her a hoarder
I'm hoarder when it comes to clothes i don't wear. I just can't throw them away when i know they have resale value yet i don't do much to actually photograph and put them on sale. But at least I'm organized it's not like it's in piles. I keep them in bags and suitcases
I was the same but finally donated, sold, and trashed. It feels great to purge everything you don’t use. Wish I had done it earlier.
The resale value is better for a non profit organization if you never post it online so just donate it. It feels good not looking at things that haven't been sold due to laziness for not being posted or no customers.
I had a 'to sell' pile of clothes for a long time. In the end I realised it was way too much work for the level of reward so I donated them, which is much simpler and quicker.
I have the same problem. Ive resorted to rent a storage unit to store totes of clothing I like, but don't even wear. My room was already cluttered and I'm removing things and going through my stuff and throwing useless crap away.
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you so much.
So I’m not exactly sure if this applies to this or not but I’m putting it here regardless.
So my next door neighbor is normally not home too often and I take care of her cats while she is gone. I hadn’t been inside her house until today, because her cats wanted something inside whilst she was not there and she’d left her back garage door open for the cats to get shelter from heavy rain and thunderstorms. When I went inside through the garage, there was a path to get in the house, but I literally could not walk anywhere else. The door to inside the house from the garage was open with the screen door shut and I had entered (as the cats clearly wanted something that was inside the house). The house was about the same, and the dining room (I think?) was completely inaccessible from the living room and main level hallway due to piles of random belongings 5-6ft high. I did not go down into the basement, but the main level and upstairs had a walking path to get to other rooms. Otherwise it was blocked off by piles of seemingly random things.
Then there was the main level master bathroom. The toilet clearly hadn’t been used in a while as there was no water but a lot of stains in the bowl and one of the glass shower doors were shattered. Glass and what looked like a little bit of possible blood was still on the floor. There was also cat droppings everywhere. I didn’t touch anything and couldn’t find what the cat wanted, but I honestly didn’t feel grossed out. I honestly just felt really bad for the lady. She’s very sweet and kind, though albeit quirky.
I do know a couple of things. She told me she suffers from depression and that her husband had died about a year ago from some form of Parkinson’s. I deal with mild depression myself and am messy myself, but to a degree.
Around that same time, she temporarily moved out and let her niece and the boyfriend live there, and apparently the nieces boyfriend was a meth dealer and got her (the niece) hooked. I have met the niece and not only was she quiet and very kind, but she was beautiful. The niece is now clean and living with her mum. I have never met the boyfriend and I don’t know where he is. Some of the damage in the house was from when the couple lived there, but I’m going to say with an educated guess that the owner had the mess there for a while before.
I feel really bad for this lady, but I’m not sure how to help being I’m in college and turning 20 next month. On top of how to tell her that id been inside her home whilst she’d been gone. What do I do? I know I probably shouldn’t have entered, but what was I supposed to do with the cat leading me to the door?
I don’t think you need to tell her that you’ve been inside her home. She will likely feel ashamed being found out and also stop trusting you. Plus you were technically trespassing so who knows the ramifications of that. “The cat led me into the house” will not fly with the police. Maybe you can ask if you can go into her house just to feel her out first? Befriend and listen to her?
You say your neighbor is normally not home? Where does she go if she's not home?
Sounds like you did a lot of exploring in there? What was it the cat wanted?
It's scaring me that I'm developing hoarding disorder.
What so you do if the hoarder in tour life refuses to seek help and has a plethora of other mental health issues left unaddressed. Is there any form of intervention for a person who won’t help themselves and is hurting their family?
Hoarding is like living a homeless life in your own home.
@@danielschannel701 I was homeless before I started hoarding.
It’s their learning and self discovery journey. Like you can’t force anyone to love you, you can’t force them to address their hoard if they don’t want to. Forcing them will only make their habit grow exponentially. Live your life, and accept them for who they are. Only intervene if it looks like they are in danger of hurting themselves, then you can get government services to intervene.
Hi I’m trying to help my friend but she’s spending her money on food and she’s got a lot of stuff and cluttered for example buying fruit then letting it go bad then throwing it away then buying new I’ve tried to organise it better but eventually goes back to what it was before
my mother is a messy and its affecting my little brother in a bad way, no matter how many times i tried to talk to her, she always ignored me and kept watching tv, its frustrating and makes me depressed and sad to see how much my family suffers and there is nothing more i can do, because i live in another country, but even if i were close to them, it wouldnt change anything unless they start changing their behaviour on their own
i am so stressed out because of that
dirty dishes on the bed, dirty laundry on the floor, the bathroom was white and now its grey
i dont know, what to say anymore
How can I get help?, not for me for my wife. The idea of divorce is growing stronger in my mind, haven't done it because of my daughter.
Have people in your social group who understand and tolerate the house come and meet your wife.
I wish I could of hoarded toilet paper n paper towels a month ago 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Patricia 22929 Roman 😂😂
Whatever. I’m suffering because of all of the cluttering that someone is doing. It’s depressing and embarrassing me. How about the people that they’re hurting. I can’t stop crying because I’m so embarrassed of the mess and filth because they don’t clean.
Could it be a low dopamine problem? Or thyroid
So since my home is usable I’m just a messy person 👀🤍 my room looks like a hoarders room I have no energy/ I’m depressed
Me too I can walk through the rooms but it gets on my own nerves. Very messy.
I think I might be a hoarder my mom comes in to help sometimes and I snap at her? Is ther a test or quiz I can take to see if I could be a hoarder?
My gf does the same thing at me anytime I try to help her organize or get rid of things. I’m worried, I didn’t realize it was such a big deal to her.
if you need to question, the then you are.
Take pictures in every room, and compare them to pictures on hoarding help sites where they rate the degree of hoards from 1 to 10. Hoarders cannot see the clutter, but in pictures for some reason they can. You will see where you stand.
At teh 4:48 mark she said "Invite them in the home" LOLOL She really doesn't get hoarding disorder! You can't invite people into the home. That's the whole point.
I'm a hoarder I think...and I can not help but be messy...I own so many items...I do get rid of items...but not as many as I bring in
What if i am between?
I need help.
You can start, with no need for therapist or other supports, by documenting the hoard. Simple pictures of the rooms, north, west, south, east. writing down/journaling what rooms are hardest to move around. Draw yourself a map of the rooms of the house and make a list or drawing of the various piles (can be as simple as "paper/trash bag/electronics on south+east walls of office space") and make a hierarchy of which spaces you want to move more freely in. None of this involves getting rid of the stuff. Hope this helps, let me know if you read/comprehended this.
My wife has hoarding tendencies. She seems more focused on the cost of replacement of items rather than any intrinsic worth that they may have. We have had monetarily worthless junk, that I have wanted to discard only to be told "I paid good money for that. I am not just putting it out on the street". Is the need to keep these things about money, sentimentality, punishing those of us who want less chaos in the home, or something else altogether? I really want to understand this because this clutter is driving me and our children insane.
My husband hoarded our bedroom so now I sleep in our family room while he sleeps in his cluttered office. I do not allow him to bring crap in my room but he tries...
Is there a traumatic event that’s fairly common to those inclined towards hoarding and, generally speaking, does the manner in which hoarding occurs differ by gender?
How about the multimillionaires or billionaires...they keep a lot of money that can't be spent in 3 or more lifetimes.
Not a lot of things have more use than money. If they don't spend it, their heirs will. Or it will go to some charitable trust.
They don’t trip over it, it’s not a problem to function in one’s own home. But then I’m guessing that you’re kidding, right? Otherwise that wouldn’t be a very smart question.
That money's not just locked in a vault! It's in banks being lent out to people and in stocks funding companies' expansions.
Does the average person see all that wealth and think wow that's worthless? Also that billions and million can be used by their families for generations... This take on the subject is probably the worst take on the planet.... 💯
I have no idea whether I should consider my mother a hoarder... we have lots of clutter in our house and she cries and gets very upset when I try to declutter it all in small chunks. Except we don’t have enough stuff that it makes our living areas disfunctional, I think mostly because the things she keeps are smaller and she’s stored it all away into cupboards and bookshelves
My mom had a whole temper tantrum when i cleaned up our living room once. I didnt throw anything away just re organized things and made it more neater. Never again will i even attempt to help her. And yup her hoarding as gotten worse and unattainable now. She finds every excuse to not clean up
My mother has hoarding and i have ocd when i come to her room i ger overwhelmed my have an episode
What should a concerned neighbour do, when there is a baby living in a hoarders household?
Liza Butcher Call child protective services and report the issue to the local government in charge of public health issues etc.
Yes, call CPS to be safe. Follow up with them if you need to. If you need to get the local government involved to investigate, please do so! Good luck!
I would also see if there's a way you can be a sort of support for your neighbor, even if only an hour. Hoarding is often at least somewhat affected by depression and anxiety. As she's a new mom there may be some post partum going on in addition to any hoarding issues. I do also concur with the people here who suggested DCFS/CPS. Do not clean the house for them, as it doesn't help them to make a cleaning schedule.
AL Smith shut up the authorities need to know. Hoarders usually have a disgusting home a baby is not safe like that. Smh
She’s Swedish and elderly now because she’s living in the uk since 1962 but she’s gone back to Sweden since then maybe she’s missing Sweden so much it’s making her hoard however she’s does chat with her brother on the phone quite a lot anyway she said if it wasn’t for me she would be gone home
Some hoarders collect houses, people and animals instead of only just objects as if those people are only objects to own as their slaves too. That kind of hoarder tends to experience severe depression whienenver they themselves are having to let go of a whole lot of possessions for whatever reason at the time. They hold the value of remainiing organized and the value of being rich as being the 2 top most important values in their value system. 2 values which they are often remembering to themselves while evaluating the worth of another human beings life. An attitude which would not be advantageous at all when for example having to be forced migrants. A senior citizen the other day told me her biological mother got thrown off of a red river wagon while her family was having to migrate accross Canada, My guess is that whoever threw her mother off of that wagon was probable the kind of hoarder who was collecting people too as if they were only objects. At the time when her mother was being thrown off of that wagon that hoarder probable felt that until she got thrown off of that wagon was little hope of him and his children or of her and her younger siblings being able to adjust well enough to survive while all of his family members were having to be a forced migrants. Maybe at the time of that wagon train fight which ended the life of her mother while she was still only a baby may have or may not have been a case of 2 hoarders one of whom who was blaming the another for all of the adversity that they had found themselves in at the time. Like for example when the only real worst kind of hoarder there was startitng to feel frustrated only about their own level of comfort when seeing according to them too many wet diapers waiting around to be hung up outside lying around their wagon during a long period of rain or whatever.. During the treck across Canada that Metis peoples from upper Canada had to make while they were having to get away from all of the chaos at the time they had a very low life expectancy which had nothing at all to do with them having too many possessions to keep organized. The average age of death during that treck across Canada they had to make was around only age 25 or so.
I know I am a Hoarder, and if someone tells me they are coming to my house, I say no and panic. 🙀 My kids try talking to me. I trip and fall sometimes. Every space is packed. I keep purchasing for no reason and in my mind I need everything. I tried paying someone to take things away without looking/// 🤷🏽♀️🙏🏾
You know there are service that will come and declutter your apartment as long as you are open to getting help it’s possible. Just suggested that to my son but they are not open to it and that’s a problem. Can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
@@JCX-9 I know I can get stuff taken out of my house. I even purchased a dumpster when selling my one family many years ago. I am an emotional shopper. How much I purchase depends upon how I am feeling. My daughter just came and took a ton of stuff out of my kitchen and told me I better not buy anything. Oh well, I have 5 bags I must empty before she comes back…😬🤷🏽♀️
I like stuff.
What do you do if a loved one lives with someone with a hoarding disorder and the little child in the house is chronically sick all the time because the only place to play is a 2 foot by 2 foot opening on the stained, moldy carpet - surrounded by old garbage and filth?
call CPS and save the innocent child!
@@judymiller5154 They have been called - and by more than one person.
DCF has visited the home more than once. The agency/social worker did NOTHING
What are some book recommendations?
My mom needs help.
Carol Baco lol same
Same
So the last comment was where I need to begin.
I appreciate that it is an anxiety based mental illness but, how do I watch someone disappear into a hoard and not intervene?
Or is it just that, there is nothing to do but watch the ship sink?
THANK YOU! I’m a reseller online and everything is in totes in my living room and my bedroom. I have most of them listed on line, they are all expensive and higher quality designer items, so donating or throwing it away is just ridiculous to expect. I do sell them for 90%off retail price so they move rather quickly. But regardless, when someone confers into my home the first thing they say is “OMG YOU ARE A HOARDER “ and this makes me so angry because I’m pretty sure that hoarders don’t have the intention to remove all items as they sell and no personal attachment to the item whatsoever. But maybe I’m wrong. Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?
You're not a horder, you just don't have a separate space for your stock.
My brother keeps trash. Lots and lots of trash and boxes.
Hoarding disorder must be some kind of instant gratification disorder, because everything is treated like trash when it's brought home.
Faith,
Thank you for comments regarding hoarding.
Where can we find a list of resources/books?
What would you clinically diagnose someone who is fine living in a disgusting roach and fly infested room? With a disgusting rotting dirty carpet. Dirty walls etc. And is in denial saying it’s not their fault it’s Bc the house is old. And lie to you saying they never noticed the infestation til you brought it up?
It's a form of hoarding called Squalor
Wow
Question: does a person with hoarding tendencies also not clean their environment?
I am a hoarder for sure
My Mother.
so what do you do about oeople that sleep with their animals, put them over their children?
I want to help my mom but I feel like I can't
I just hate myself for letting this happen.
The look in her eyes tells me she's been through some shit.
She seems like an adult who is around 50 years of age, but has clothing and hair that seems 40 years younger!
Can I get help in Ireland.?
Almost any place has a hoarder or can always look for help with videos people post online anytime.
Leave them alone. Everyone gets old.
Hoarding when it's extreme can be a safety and fire hazard as well as having rodent facal matter too.
Can you be both?
some people just lazy and lack self motivation....
We fed up with complaing and making our mother upset. There's a dedicated room in the house for her to hoard. Every once in a while we get rid of stuff while she's not looking. She's at the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. Everyone is happy
Overcrowding people is better than overcrowding with Stuff.
My ex girlfriend could never keep her bed clear of junk. Hoarder