Thank you for this. Videos like this tell me that while it can be difficult to navigate(like any relationship), people with BPD can have fulfilling loving relationships. Gives me hope 💜
This video was just lovely. You guys are adorable and it’s inspiring to see how both of you humanize each other and don’t blame every issue on BPD. Thank you so much
Hey just found your channel and have really been enjoying your content. Spent two years with my ex and didn’t know she had BPD…but also neither did she. That was quite an experience to say the least. When it was over I felt like the last man standing after a tornado ripped through a trailer park. Good that I can finally understand and laugh about it now.
Oh wow i think i really resonate with the freaking out when reality doesn’t seem to match what I thought reality was-i have felt like i become unmoored and like my mind is fragmenting or something when this happens
I would say we don’t have it anymore. I’m definitely the most sensitive to him and how he behaves, as compared to all my other relationships. But it’s a far cry from the FP dynamic. Part of that is recovery, but I think some of it is also how long we’ve been together. We are at 7 years now, so that intensity from the FP thing just naturally subsides because I really trust that he’s not going anywhere.
@@xannibelle That’s so great to hear! Thank you for your answer :-) I’m in the first year of moving toward recovery and not dating (for the first time since I was 12). I have been working on shifting my view and expectations *outside* of relationships, but am really scared of how I’ll be if and when I reintroduce romantic relationships if that makes any sense. The idea that someone I date isn’t my entire world and visa versa just still seems…odd and kinda undesirable? 😭 It helps to watch videos like these and hear from others!
@@purplefinch29 makes total sense! Definitely not gonna lie, romantic relationships are the hardest, in my experience. But if you are working on your recovery and gaining skills before entering into a romantic relationship, you’re already a step ahead of me! Casey and I started dating about the same month that I went into DBT. He hasn’t seen the absolute worst side of BPD because I had grown out of some of those behaviors. But he still had to go through quite a lot in the beginning because I didn’t really have any skills at all. I was learning them as we were growing in our relationship. While I am very happy with our relationship and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, I do wish there had been a way for us to meet after I had some skills under my belt.
@@purplefinch29 Oh! And what you said about not making someone your entire world doesn’t seem desirable, I know exactly what you mean. I think I’ve only ever had one true FP relationship. I’ve had elements of the FP dynamic in other relationships, even with Casey in the beginning. But there was one relationship when I was in my early 20s where this person was literally the only thing that mattered to me. At the time I convinced myself that was love because it felt so intense and so all consuming. But I think it was more along the lines of obsession or addiction. In some ways, it can feel like a wonderful high, but it comes at a huge cost. I definitely was afraid that not having a dynamic like that would be boring or make my life feel less full. But now that I’m experiencing it, I don’t think that’s true at all. I have a full rich life because I have lots of different meaningful relationships. I’m not suffocating anyone person, or treating other people like spares. Casey is definitely the most important to me, but I have lots of other valuable relationships and it turns out that having all of those different people in my life is actually what makes it the most rich and fulfilling, rather than having one person be everything to me .
Thank you for this. Videos like this tell me that while it can be difficult to navigate(like any relationship), people with BPD can have fulfilling loving relationships. Gives me hope 💜
This video was just lovely. You guys are adorable and it’s inspiring to see how both of you humanize each other and don’t blame every issue on BPD.
Thank you so much
Hey just found your channel and have really been enjoying your content. Spent two years with my ex and didn’t know she had BPD…but also neither did she. That was quite an experience to say the least. When it was over I felt like the last man standing after a tornado ripped through a trailer park. Good that I can finally understand and laugh about it now.
Haha this was one of my favorite activities! My answers get less and less well refined as the episode goes on, but we hung in there! ❤
Oh wow i think i really resonate with the freaking out when reality doesn’t seem to match what I thought reality was-i have felt like i become unmoored and like my mind is fragmenting or something when this happens
Thanks love you both 💓
Would you say you no longer have the “FP” dynamic?
I would say we don’t have it anymore. I’m definitely the most sensitive to him and how he behaves, as compared to all my other relationships. But it’s a far cry from the FP dynamic.
Part of that is recovery, but I think some of it is also how long we’ve been together. We are at 7 years now, so that intensity from the FP thing just naturally subsides because I really trust that he’s not going anywhere.
@@xannibelle That’s so great to hear! Thank you for your answer :-)
I’m in the first year of moving toward recovery and not dating (for the first time since I was 12). I have been working on shifting my view and expectations *outside* of relationships, but am really scared of how I’ll be if and when I reintroduce romantic relationships if that makes any sense. The idea that someone I date isn’t my entire world and visa versa just still seems…odd and kinda undesirable? 😭 It helps to watch videos like these and hear from others!
@@purplefinch29 makes total sense! Definitely not gonna lie, romantic relationships are the hardest, in my experience. But if you are working on your recovery and gaining skills before entering into a romantic relationship, you’re already a step ahead of me! Casey and I started dating about the same month that I went into DBT. He hasn’t seen the absolute worst side of BPD because I had grown out of some of those behaviors. But he still had to go through quite a lot in the beginning because I didn’t really have any skills at all. I was learning them as we were growing in our relationship. While I am very happy with our relationship and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, I do wish there had been a way for us to meet after I had some skills under my belt.
@@purplefinch29 Oh! And what you said about not making someone your entire world doesn’t seem desirable, I know exactly what you mean. I think I’ve only ever had one true FP relationship. I’ve had elements of the FP dynamic in other relationships, even with Casey in the beginning. But there was one relationship when I was in my early 20s where this person was literally the only thing that mattered to me.
At the time I convinced myself that was love because it felt so intense and so all consuming. But I think it was more along the lines of obsession or addiction. In some ways, it can feel like a wonderful high, but it comes at a huge cost.
I definitely was afraid that not having a dynamic like that would be boring or make my life feel less full. But now that I’m experiencing it, I don’t think that’s true at all. I have a full rich life because I have lots of different meaningful relationships. I’m not suffocating anyone person, or treating other people like spares.
Casey is definitely the most important to me, but I have lots of other valuable relationships and it turns out that having all of those different people in my life is actually what makes it the most rich and fulfilling, rather than having one person be everything to me .
@@xannibelle This is really inspiring and I’m so happy for you!