I highly relate to the feeling of being to normal for the weird kids and too weird for the normal kids. Although I didn’t go goth until after high school, that was my experience for 18 years. In fact I’ve recently been diagnosed as autistic which explains a lot lol.
"Too normal for the weird kids and too weird for the normal kids." I relate to this so much. I've felt like this my whole life. I don't seem to fully fit in anywhere or with anyone really. I don't know if I just am this way or if it's because of my traumas (or both?). I guess it's not a bad thing but it's definitely alienating. I've decided I'm always going to feel this way. Could I have autism?? 🧐
Doctors still think I'm depressed XD They refuse to acknowledge my cognitive deterioration is anything other than depression, despite my depression being irrelevant since I feel nothing.
the exact same thing just happened to me spent all of high school ‘masking’ or blending in, all while knowing something was off and always feeling exhausted from feeling like i was putting up a performance for them. i just wish i knew sooner :,)
I discovered goth music when I was about 9 or 10 through the online art community. I’ve always liked dark things and drew a lot of creepy stuff as a kid. I knew one girl in an art forum who listened to a lot of goth music and that was my introduction into the subculture. 9 years later and I’m still here.
@cemeterygxtes I had a similar experience with the ages when I found out about goth music, and I found out with cousins from Mexico that would come visit me in the US. Im still a goth, and because I also like dark and creepy things I also started to like Black Metal around that same time.
@@Anonymous-wb3nz ik, im saying that because I like dark stuff like goth music. I then also started to like black metal. I never said that it was goth.
I got into black metal early on, too, when I was 11. It immediately spoke to me . Don't listen to it daily, I turn to post punk and darkwave way more but it just feels like the music of my core, don't know to explain it. That's why I'm afraid to call myself a goth even though most of my music is goth.
I absolutely love these storytime videos! Being a teen goth in the south I don't really get the experience of going to alternative nights or even having a whole circle of goth friends. I'm sad that I don't have a local alternative scene to engage with, but listening to stories like these are therapeutic in a way, they make me feel like I was there.
There are a couple events near me, and a few more within a few hours of me, but sadly they're all 21+. I know all ages nights can be few and far between even in bigger scenes so it really doesnt suprise me that they're hard to find where I'm at. Although last time I researched, I think I might have found one event within a reasonable distance that's all ages and I'll just have to wait and see when they post future events!
In the South and we have two cities with Goth Nights but no Goth venues of our own but we'll take it! Maybe you could see if the local scene organizers can host an all ages event once a month. Here one of the Goth groups has movie nights at a funeral home and other such things. Maybe they could do something like that too. When I was a teen living in the middle of nowhere it really felt lonely wanting to find events. I had gamer friends but no Goth friends or Goth events to go to back then.
the mini backpack thing is still a thing in the alternative scene! we also have a lot of people wearing fanny packs and canvas tote bags (this one is super popular rn)
as a goth teen who loves industrial and darkwave i love these videos! it's so interesting to see the perspective of someone who was around in the earlier goth scene
Your story reminds me of all of those articles I’ve read about NYers moving to FL. (I’d like to know how many of those NYers regret the move.) Especially if you have a lifestyle that’s eccentric and outré and then you move to the middle of nowhere which might as well be another country if you’re from NYC.
Back then I feel like the gap between your NY life and new Florida life was much bigger. Back then the area was really cut off from the rest of the world and it really felt like a whole other country. Plus there was no internet back then so there was nothing to connect you to the rest of the world. I remember when the cops randomly started going into video stores that had that back room where they had all the dirty movies behind a curtain (do you remember those?). Every independent video store had them but in Florida, they started criminalizing porn and arrested regular people that worked in the video stores.
Goth/Alt/Weirdo NYer who moved to FL in middle school here! I HATED it. Lol But in high school I started making friends that were a lot like me and we went to anime conventions and stuff together!
I embrace both the goth and cybergoth subcultures as one in my life. When I am not listening to goth music or electronic music, I would listen to metal, post-grunge, classical, hard rock, and celtic folk music. I also don't beleive that people in the alternative subcultures should disassociate themselves from each other because we are still undeniably misunderstood by the non-alternative majority. I practice industrial dancing for a few years now. I used to frequent an alternative/goth club where I would use my industrial dance moves to some songs and I was always looking forward to the weekend because even though I barely speak to anyone there, I had a sense of belonging. I haven't been there in years but it was mostly due to my body and mind burnout from so many problemsin my personal life. I have been wanting to return to the club for months already but i had recently took a second job to pay off my debts and I even applied for a position as a scare actor in a haunted house attraction to get involved for the Halloween season. My ultimate goal is to travel to Mexico City because it is home to perhaps the biggest goth scene in the world.
I relate to what you said, Darkwave was also my gateway genre alongside Coldwave. I remember when I first listened to Floodland (Dominion specifically) and Only Theatre of Pain my brain gave me a false negative and somehow I assumed I didn't like them, I guess I wasn't ready. When listened them a second time it was a completely different story and I was like "I guess I enjoyed them far more than I thought". Now I keep thinking of the suggestions that I would've given to my younger self.
The way you describe everything sounds like a dream. I've still yet to experience going to my first goth club but honestly, something like the the voodoo lounge would have been really helpful in easing me into the subculture, sounds like a good time. Also utensils as accessories? Let's bring it back 🖤😁 P.S: Love the dress it's so you 🖤 Always a great day when you upload.🦇
I wish we had more like those places today. The sad thing is that people can't actually get to any kind of goth event until they're 21. That really puts a damper on things because 21 is when the real life responsibilities kick in. The years leading up to that point is where you start developing the memories and growth that lead you to who you are. I'm in agreement with you. Bring back the utensil days!
So The Shop had all the alternative subcultures were under one roof, which is excellent. All the punks, goths, rivetheads, indie kids and alternative teens on the dance floor at the bar. So you had a DJs doing an industrial set, then you had another doing a goth and death rock one, followed by a Brit pop and Madchester set by another DJ. Hot On The Heels of Love by Throbbing Gristle then you’re all singing along to the chorus of Pulp’s Common People at the end of the night. Sounds like a fun night, I wish I was there. Quite a few of the bands you mentioned were from south east London. Boy George is from Eltham, Blur started at Goldsmiths college in New Cross, as did Test Department. There was a council estate Lewisham council offloaded onto Goldsmiths as students accommodation, which ended up being the biggest squat in Western Europe.
When you said you’d say random things that were normal to you and people would say why are you like this. I literally just recently had this said to me. And I couldn’t understand what it was that was so different. I’m almost 18 and started my first job and it’s been so hard to talk to my fellow coworkers
I had a lot of homies growing up that wore ropes as belts. I'm guilty of it myself. We would steal it from Home Depot and wear it when skating instead of shoelaces because it would last longer. That or a chain which doubled for a weapon in case of trouble. We knew one trad goth girl and her favorite thing to do in the summer was wear black halter tops with what looked like a black wedding favor around her arm with safefy pins. The lace often matched her tights. Absolutely stunning!
@@angelabenedict True we are very resourceful 🤣 a friend of my uncles who was a DJ said it when I was young maybe like 8 and I just remembered it a couple years later when I ran out of blank's
I think some of us noobs (myself especially) are a little iffy about back-watching because we occasionally let the RUclips algorithm think for us when selecting what to watch during busy periods of our lives, then we forget to go back and search through the back-catalogues of our favorite RUclipsrs later on. You know how it goes: you're working your tech support gig, writing up help articles and answering chats and calls from clients, you'd like something on in the background that you can wrap your brain around (that isn't work-related) during your brief bouts of off-time, so you pick something from the "Suggested Viewing" pile off to the right of the video you're already watching rather than stopping and thinking about what you want to see or being more thoughtful about your viewing experience.
I don't really remember when I discovered goth music but I know I wasn't 'part of the scene' until after the mid-2000s, so watching your storytime vids about how you grew up, what the culture was like in the 80s and 90s from first hand accounts, and being introduced to new music and fashion [aka kitchen accessories, apparently] through your channel and similar is very fascinating and educational.
I listen to much of the same music you do, with that said we are witches. We don't dress that different from anyone. But now I want to. You are amazing and so well spoken. Don't know if would fit in well, but I would like to try
Great video Angela, I love your storytelling! Your stories remind me of myself when I was in the 90's and getting into Metal music and Gothic, I remember going to my first concert in 1997, I saw Korn at the Salem Armory here in Oregon. It was awesome and definitely a culture shock! I'm still into Metal and Gothic everything, and I love 80's music too! I've watched your video's since 2017, and have seen them all! Even though I'm not Goth, I love learning all about the subculture and even hearing the music too; I feel like us 'Alternative' people are one big family! 😊 I remember this story from your old video a few years ago, but feel free to remake some of your old video's with some added details, I think the newcomers would love hearing the stories! I can't wait for Halloween coming soon haha! 👻
Thanks so much for this video. Music. Music is my obsession. Every single artist you mentioned has a place in me and my wife's music collection. Even that damn Peter Frampton album. I was a bit sheltered when I was a kid so until I was 15 I was basically into mom and dad's music. The Carpenter, ABBA and Johnny Cash. Still love that stuff btw. My mom's younger brother however was very into punk when it hit here in 77. So in addition to Barbra Streisand, Bela Lagosi and Release the Bats along with the Pistols etc were apart of my childhood musical background. As a result, my musical tastes are pretty extreme. If I had to label myself, I guess I'd say The Beatles are my favorite music ever above all. But after that I'd put post punk as my 'go-to' music. 78 to 84 or so. I just love music and I love talking about music. And people talking to me about music. Thanks again.
It’s always so interesting to hear your stories back when you were a teenager! I’m so happy you were able to develop and flourish new friendships/relationships in the goth community over the years. Thank you for sharing this, always glad to hear your throwback stories! 😊😊
Great vid , I agree about all the alternative kids having a loose social fellowship as freaks , then a closer fellowship of your specific subculture , we would hang out at school in the late 80's or on the local parks, there were more metal people where I lived so I used to hang out with them sometimes
oh i love the velvet top!!!!🖤🖤🖤i so look forward to your posts!!!.... were i live there was a club called the Wendyhouse which was always a great night out. But those days are gone now i so miss them. the goth scene here has dried up, but still go to Whitby Goth weekend every year!!! until next time!!!! safe journeys and bright blessings :)
Thank you! That's really nice of you to say. Ah, you're in the UK! I noticed the goth nights there required some travel depending on where you were. If you don't mind me asking, where in England are you from?
crap missed it haha with my Journey into goth music i started from Punk Metal & Industrial back in the 2000's then discovered it i grew up hearing Alternative music love the outfit 😎
That top 😮 what fabric is that, velvet? It looks so pretty. Do tell where you got it from if you remember. Love the story times as always. Hope you’re having a lovely Sunday lady!
Also: wow, do we have similar music tastes outside the Goth scene. o.O (As for Smashing Pumpkins: one of my bosses at a religious TV station I worked at was a Smashing Pumpkins fanatic. That brings back so many fond memories...)
There was a lot of gatekeeping back then. It was interesting too because the level of gatekeeping back then was excluding and hiding the music from people who were genuinely interested in it. Now, you have people gatekeeping fashion.
@@angelabenedict This happened to me in high school in the late 80's. Some people were so protective about certain bands that they would refuse to share their music.
thank you sooo much for mentioning so many bands, I'm new to goth music and it's been great to have so many recommendations to listen through!! if anyone else has any favorite bands/songs they wanna talk about or share I'd love to hear 🖤🖤🖤
Fellow Gen-Xer here. I was born in the Ozarks of Southeast Missouri in 1979. In 1988 my family moved to Pennsylvania where I spent my adolescent years. In 1998 we moved back down to Southeast Missouri, and it was a bit of a culture shock to see the large number of pregnant teens. And much like Florida, Missouri has tons of evangelicals who rarely practice what they preach. I'm a Christian, but these evangelical church lurker types are full of hypocrisy and double standards!
@@thiscorrosion3843 I'm very well adjusted and I believe in the Bible. I forgive Goths for being mean to me. Last year I went on a Goth cruise, and they tried to throw me overboard and feed me to the alligators. Luckily there were some fellow Christian Goths who saved me.
@@thiscorrosion3843 I have some ideas of how we can revive the declining Goth scene in America. One thing we could do is be more inclusive to discriminated and marginalized minority groups such as necrophiliacs. As a necrophile myself, I've always felt a kinship to people such as serial killer Jeffery Dahmer. He was my childhood hero. Dahmer was a true necrophile in every sense of the word. He used to have conversations with human remains because he was only able to feel a sense of connection to people who were deceased. Dahmer was reported to be seen masturbating under a bridge near his grandma's house in Milwaukee during the early 1980's. Dahmer also used to eat penises. He was a really cool dude!
I went out with my husband last night to a goth night in my town's art district, which I wasn't even sure he would be interested in experiencing, and we both had an amazing time. We've been married for almost 20 years, and when we met, I was dressing very differently from how I've started dressing again. But I never stopped missing my nights out at Sanctuary, a goth club in SLC. That was when I felt most true to myself. I don't know why I stopped and tried to be someone I'm not. Maybe the demands of my daily life as a new college student while caring for my home and family, maybe societal pressure, maybe I was experimenting, I don't know. I'm just happy to feel at home again, and I love being married to a man who not only accepts me but also wants to be a part of the subculture with me. I'm never going to be untrue to myself again.
Yes, first time at a alternative ore goth club teaches you a lot... and it teaches you: You are okay! Thats very important for "freaks". We had a very alternativ village disco with goth dancefloor till early twothousands. Than it closed. A big lost for many young and older countryside freaks about an hour around that disco. Years later, we had a lot remember partys.
Ronkonkoma. I remember that area as a child. My family had a card shop in a shopping mall. It was...not very well developed, then. Pity that when you were in Florida, you weren't in the Ft. Lauderdale/Miami area. The scene was/is small, but steady, even though it took work and there were some...amusing situations between promoters and clubs.
Stoppp i literally was JUST wondering when you'd upload next, cause i'm caught up on all my gothy videos, and then this dropped, along w my jaw because of the crazy timing 😂🖤 Also, i love the look! That shirt goes soo well w your makeup!
There were no goth music when i was in my early teens. Instead i shifted out Beatles/ABBA/Beach Boys for Sex Pistols/Kate Bush/Pink Floyd. My first real "goth experience" was a concert in 1982 with Sioxsie and the Banshees, first times music made my skin tingle. "But not them" with Sioxsie and Budgie was a revelation. None the less it took another 13 years before I discovered the goth subculture on internet, and it was a direct fit! My first goth club was Slimelight in London. I was very nervous, since you had to approach someone in the queue to get inside as their "guest". Then you could buy you own member card inside after a few hours. In my experience almost all goth clubs I have visited (maybe 25 in ten countries) have had a friendly atmosphere and been very happy for a new friendly face, even a 50 year old male. I have even brought mainstream colleagues to goth clubs (wear something black!) and they have been amazed by the relaxed and friendly atmosphere. I usually come early right after the door opens, so I can chat with the people and tell them all the things I like about their place. More than one time I have got a couple of free drink in return
I went from classic nerd, like straight out of a teen movie, to a metalhead. I listened to metal most of my life, because I got adopted young, and my adoptive family was into early metal and hard rock. But I got into heavier stuff when I was like 10 or 11. However I was in a Fl catholic school. So I didn’t know anyone into metal around my age. I didn’t know anyone my age, really, because nobody wants to be friends with the kid who wears grandma glasses and headgear braces, with frizzy hair. We moved a lot, too. But in 10th grade we were in a whole other state and I started at the public school. I got adopted by the metalheads/headbangers my first day. I can’t say I was ever ‘normal.’ I was so released that I didn’t have to be pretty to have friends, even if I didn’t look as bad as I had. But it didn’t matter that I had pretty much given up on having a ‘good’ style, in the eyes of subculture or mainstream culture. It didn’t matter that my body and face were meh, at best. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t allowed to dress how I wanted and just settled for baggy things that were the opposite of ‘sexy.’ I even got a bf within a month of school. We lasted all of 2 months but stayed friends, because… we were 15. I had friends who were not in the AP/honors program who appreciated me for being in it, and didn’t just make me do their homework. They appreciated my art and didn’t judge me for my childhood. They may have given me shit for liking music that wasn’t metal but it was just joking and not serious. We all had music we didn’t like that a friend liked, and joked about it. Normies seemed to all like or claim to like the same things, and if they went against that, you got a ton of shit. That looked really boring. But it was night and day, being accepted by outsiders vs living underneath the normie hierarchy. I also noticed a huge need to metalhead pipeline. Even in some subgenres, the lyrics are super nerdy! I felt so much better about my weird interests and thoughts. I’m glad I walked into that school, drew the Lateralus eye on a notebook, and walked out if that school with a social life.
It's a strange grade to be held back in but also not uncommon I'm coming to find. Do you always get the same response? 'First grade, what's the problem? Couldn't color inside the lines?' I get that one a lot.
You are always interesting angela love you're videos love you're oufits i would never you are and were a freak you are unique as you are love your videos
27:44 This makes me want to ask people about their 10 most favorite albums - not in a gatekeepy way, but I think it's a really interesting way to get a feel for someone's music tastes and by extension some of their personally. However, I don't think I would want to tell anyone my 10 favorite albums since my list would contain some mildly embarrassing very un-goth music hahaha. Kind of ironic since I would never judge anyone else for that, but when it comes to myself I don't want anyone to think I'm a poser lmao. Anyway, I want people to tell me about their 10 mostj favorite albums.
Yes, it was shouted at us from passing cars and normie kids at school so coming from the mouth of a non-alternative it was offensive and immediately put us on guard. Coming from other alt kids, it was strangely reaffirming.
We sure loved a mini-backpack and glitter back then lol. Something freaks and normals agreed on lol. Remember the “soft spiked” packs being more cool factor in the clubs.
Your Family, Moving out of Florida, was a great thing for real, because Florida is a very very very Beautiful Place for real, but Florida does get a lot of Hurricanes 🌀 And Floods to the Point that it can take your House Down very very very Fast 💨 for real.
Haven’t finished the video yet! But I wasn’t alternative until around 15, always was wierd and loved darker things, but discovered goth music around 15. I am Now 19 and have been obsessed with goth music since, im not 21 yet so I have been sad about the inability to go to goth events for a few years. However I’ve now been to many goth nights due to sneaking in a few times and also my current friend opened an all ages venue which has monthly goth events which I’m trying to dj!
This is very interesting. You go into more details than your other videos, so I never would have guessed about you. 18:20 when I was in the subculture we dressed for the mood, for the theme even and goths would change their styles based on how they felt. If you take these "goth" categories for style (trad, cyber, romatic, post-punk etc) people didnt just dress in 1 style at the time we dressed in all of them. the goth fastionwas more fluid. 26:04 I had the exact same hair as you. shaved Asymmetrical bob.
Do you remember those backpacks in the 90s and early 2000s with PVC spikes on them?. I’ve looked everywhere for one, but I can’t find them anymore. It’s almost as if they have just been discontinued.
Ah yes, Babes in Toyland...what a band! I listened to them before I became immersed in the goth/industrial scene. I had their album Fontanelle. If I ever felt annoyed or irritated I could just play that CD. Their music was so intense, edgy, expressive, shouty, and angry to my ears; it was just so cathartic for me to allow that music to be a proxy for my own thougths and bring my emotions back down. That was I time when I was really starting to truly enjoy music, and was searching around various forms of "alternative" and "modern rock" to find what really suited me most.
Very pleased that your mum wanted to go back to New York City. It is not easy for many adults to acclimatise to a backward community in another part of the country.
I had the volume turned to the max and I could barely hear your video. I don't know if it's my computer... Sorry if it sounds rude but could you find a way to make the volume in your videos a little louder?
You're not the first to tell me, I'm so sorry. I've been having very strange audio issues. They sound fine on my end but when they get posted they're very quiet.
I think normal is a relative term to me being who you are is normal to others its probally something like falling into some basic category they have set for you in there own mind. Who wants to be or do that who wants to be normal the shit is boring lol.
But I LOVE that. Watching a "Church Virgin" grow and blossom into their own. It's one of the things that our world really encourages, at least in it's original state. It's beautiful, when it happens.
You have other goth friends. I would love to here stories about other people "going goth" especially around your age. like your husband's story or your other friends who have been in videos. Even if you read their stories because they don't want to. I think it would be great to hear a lot of diffrent experiences. it is funny because I visited/stayed with my Is cousin in Florida, and because I was away from my parents I was able to go fully goth fashion wise, and that is how I came back from summer vacation completely transformed.😂 Even if you had some of your older viewers write in these stories and you read them to share different perspectives that would be amazing, because even though I know mine, besides yours I don't really know many peoples "Origin" stories. Goths didn't share those when I was younger probably out of fear of being a "poser" They manybe helpful to baby bats and make them feel like "I am not doing it wrong" as well as bringing a sense of nostalgia to other older goths. Because even where your story doesn't match with mine, it still does that for me, and I think back to my past as a baby bat.
Fashion phases Emo/scene- I like Grunge fashion, and still listen to bands. (Obsessed with my black boots). Gothic- I like red black element, Romantic like. Cybergoth- Realized I can't industrial dance 🤣 But I love the look so much. Maybe with a mix of my element. I wish I could industrial dance 😢 its so fun 🎉 Trad Goth- Found out I find all black boring. But I like the nest hair and bat aesthetic, Like a cure song, the forest. I also like flare sleeves. Lolita gothic/fairy- Not in this heat 🤣 but i f'ing love it so much. Even in convention i'd die from heat. Fairy kei- I find it so appealing, but clothes are expensive, and I realized I dont like full pastel. Decora kei- Too flashy for my eyes. But I enjoyed listening to some what you call hyperpop? Idk. Kawaii- Casual anime inspired look. I enjoyed, Got my knee highs that I protect at all cost lol. Though lately I've been feeling alittle insecure, I feel like the ugly face filter meme. Last thing I've tried is I watched a few ancient cdramas (fantasy ones) And loved the long hair look. My hair is long when straightened, Got some hair sticks (casual and formal ones) and diyed 🤣. Felt pretty for a while, but realized This is not me, I still feel inside me That I have yet to express my fashion look. In the end, I listened to my voice and realized I was into eccentric fashion lol but with my own twist. Sigh* I miss messing with fashion, but I'm in my 20s now lazy lol. That piece of me hasnt died though, I still go through my wardrobe XD changing like 3 times LOL
I'd say for the better because it's exposed me to people who are like me. It's introduced me to music that I connect to and I don't find myself pretending to be something I'm not anymore. Trying to live among the land of the societal norms aka friends or family outside of alternative, they viewed me and everything I did as 'weird' and treated me as if there was something wrong with me when I expressed a simple thought or behaved in ways that were natural to me. I believed them. The first time I walked into that club night, after years suppressing who I am and thinking that there was something wrong with me, I was suddenly in a warehouse full of people tho thought and behaved just like me.
Based on some of the things you said, especially about feeling abnormal and mirroring others' behaviour, have you ever considered pursuing an autism diagnosis or looked into it for yourself as I know getting a formal diagnosis is inaccessabile for most people especially as AFAB presentations of autism can be so different from what most people (including most medical practioners) associate with ASD
As a young teen, I mistakenly thought Evanescence and Nightwish were Goth bands until I met actual Goths who showed me the real Goth music. Being called out was literally the best thing that could have happened to me, otherwise I would have never discovered Switchblade Symphony, Sisters of Mercy, Project Pitchfork, and all the other bands I still love to this day. Being called a poser was the kick in the pants I needed, because I absolutely was one. Lol
Miss A.B if I may call u that I really like and Respect u I don't have any friends I use to live in Claremont California where our ppl use to be on of that where a lot of supernatural beings and others use to hangout we r abnormal because how we r treated I more than understand but I don't care how those kind think act or say besides u have friends I never have still don't but I wish I could have real friends like u in person the other fact to is that u r a lady so most listen to u like looking at u ur stories r real life I know from personal experiences but always alone
Gothic is Not how u act it's not in what u wear it's all part in and of ur personality who u r Not a label it's u r or not anyway I like and fully Respect all but the real ones even more
Goth is a music based subculture. Goth is a group of people united in a subculture bound by the music. As far as alternative, that I feel is more of a mindset because the people that felt comfortable enough to step outside the norm were also comfortable enough to not be afraid to be themselves and let those non-dangerous intrusive thoughts win sometimes. The normie folk were too scared are unimaginative to stray from being 'proper', ya know?
I highly relate to the feeling of being to normal for the weird kids and too weird for the normal kids. Although I didn’t go goth until after high school, that was my experience for 18 years. In fact I’ve recently been diagnosed as autistic which explains a lot lol.
"Too normal for the weird kids and too weird for the normal kids." I relate to this so much. I've felt like this my whole life. I don't seem to fully fit in anywhere or with anyone really. I don't know if I just am this way or if it's because of my traumas (or both?). I guess it's not a bad thing but it's definitely alienating. I've decided I'm always going to feel this way. Could I have autism?? 🧐
@@niellalien it’s definitely a possibility but also trauma can do that too especially if you had repeated trauma:( sending hugs 🖤💕
@@SouthernGothBelle Thank you 🙂
Doctors still think I'm depressed XD
They refuse to acknowledge my cognitive deterioration is anything other than depression, despite my depression being irrelevant since I feel nothing.
the exact same thing just happened to me
spent all of high school ‘masking’ or blending in, all while knowing something was off and always feeling exhausted from feeling like i was putting up a performance for them. i just wish i knew sooner :,)
I discovered goth music when I was about 9 or 10 through the online art community. I’ve always liked dark things and drew a lot of creepy stuff as a kid. I knew one girl in an art forum who listened to a lot of goth music and that was my introduction into the subculture. 9 years later and I’m still here.
Wow, you were young!
@cemeterygxtes I had a similar experience with the ages when I found out about goth music, and I found out with cousins from Mexico that would come visit me in the US. Im still a goth, and because I also like dark and creepy things I also started to like Black Metal around that same time.
@@bloodydiablo666black metal is not Goth. It's Metal.
@@Anonymous-wb3nz ik, im saying that because I like dark stuff like goth music. I then also started to like black metal. I never said that it was goth.
I got into black metal early on, too, when I was 11. It immediately spoke to me . Don't listen to it daily, I turn to post punk and darkwave way more but it just feels like the music of my core, don't know to explain it. That's why I'm afraid to call myself a goth even though most of my music is goth.
I absolutely love these storytime videos! Being a teen goth in the south I don't really get the experience of going to alternative nights or even having a whole circle of goth friends. I'm sad that I don't have a local alternative scene to engage with, but listening to stories like these are therapeutic in a way, they make me feel like I was there.
I'm really sorry to hear that. Have you checked for events on FB events pages? They're usually pretty good when you search by state.
There are a couple events near me, and a few more within a few hours of me, but sadly they're all 21+. I know all ages nights can be few and far between even in bigger scenes so it really doesnt suprise me that they're hard to find where I'm at.
Although last time I researched, I think I might have found one event within a reasonable distance that's all ages and I'll just have to wait and see when they post future events!
Deep South? Me too. Moved to the East Coast later and finally met a few other ppl.
In the South and we have two cities with Goth Nights but no Goth venues of our own but we'll take it! Maybe you could see if the local scene organizers can host an all ages event once a month. Here one of the Goth groups has movie nights at a funeral home and other such things.
Maybe they could do something like that too. When I was a teen living in the middle of nowhere it really felt lonely wanting to find events. I had gamer friends but no Goth friends or Goth events to go to back then.
My husband just walked in, saw this video, and is very impressed with your outfit. XD It does rock!
Yay! Thank you!
the mini backpack thing is still a thing in the alternative scene! we also have a lot of people wearing fanny packs and canvas tote bags (this one is super popular rn)
I agree. I see it all the time.
as a goth teen who loves industrial and darkwave i love these videos! it's so interesting to see the perspective of someone who was around in the earlier goth scene
I'm glad you like it! It was such a learning experience and the best one I could have asked for.
Your story reminds me of all of those articles I’ve read about NYers moving to FL. (I’d like to know how many of those NYers regret the move.) Especially if you have a lifestyle that’s eccentric and outré and then you move to the middle of nowhere which might as well be another country if you’re from NYC.
Back then I feel like the gap between your NY life and new Florida life was much bigger. Back then the area was really cut off from the rest of the world and it really felt like a whole other country. Plus there was no internet back then so there was nothing to connect you to the rest of the world. I remember when the cops randomly started going into video stores that had that back room where they had all the dirty movies behind a curtain (do you remember those?). Every independent video store had them but in Florida, they started criminalizing porn and arrested regular people that worked in the video stores.
Goth/Alt/Weirdo NYer who moved to FL in middle school here! I HATED it. Lol
But in high school I started making friends that were a lot like me and we went to anime conventions and stuff together!
I embrace both the goth and cybergoth subcultures as one in my life. When I am not listening to goth music or electronic music, I would listen to metal, post-grunge, classical, hard rock, and celtic folk music. I also don't beleive that people in the alternative subcultures should disassociate themselves from each other because we are still undeniably misunderstood by the non-alternative majority.
I practice industrial dancing for a few years now. I used to frequent an alternative/goth club where I would use my industrial dance moves to some songs and I was always looking forward to the weekend because even though I barely speak to anyone there, I had a sense of belonging. I haven't been there in years but it was mostly due to my body and mind burnout from so many problemsin my personal life. I have been wanting to return to the club for months already but i had recently took a second job to pay off my debts and I even applied for a position as a scare actor in a haunted house attraction to get involved for the Halloween season.
My ultimate goal is to travel to Mexico City because it is home to perhaps the biggest goth scene in the world.
I relate to what you said, Darkwave was also my gateway genre alongside Coldwave. I remember when I first listened to Floodland (Dominion specifically) and Only Theatre of Pain my brain gave me a false negative and somehow I assumed I didn't like them, I guess I wasn't ready. When listened them a second time it was a completely different story and I was like "I guess I enjoyed them far more than I thought". Now I keep thinking of the suggestions that I would've given to my younger self.
It was the same for me when for the first time I heard goth music I hated it but now I love it
Isn't it weird how it grows on you but in the biggest way?
The way you describe everything sounds like a dream. I've still yet to experience going to my first goth club but honestly, something like the the voodoo lounge would have been really helpful in easing me into the subculture, sounds like a good time. Also utensils as accessories? Let's bring it back 🖤😁
P.S: Love the dress it's so you 🖤 Always a great day when you upload.🦇
I wish we had more like those places today. The sad thing is that people can't actually get to any kind of goth event until they're 21. That really puts a damper on things because 21 is when the real life responsibilities kick in. The years leading up to that point is where you start developing the memories and growth that lead you to who you are. I'm in agreement with you. Bring back the utensil days!
@@angelabenedictYou are doing your best in your music appreciation. Being Goth means having cultural appreciation.
So The Shop had all the alternative subcultures were under one roof, which is excellent. All the punks, goths, rivetheads, indie kids and alternative teens on the dance floor at the bar. So you had a DJs doing an industrial set, then you had another doing a goth and death rock one, followed by a Brit pop and Madchester set by another DJ. Hot On The Heels of Love by Throbbing Gristle then you’re all singing along to the chorus of Pulp’s Common People at the end of the night. Sounds like a fun night, I wish I was there.
Quite a few of the bands you mentioned were from south east London. Boy George is from Eltham, Blur started at Goldsmiths college in New Cross, as did Test Department. There was a council estate Lewisham council offloaded onto Goldsmiths as students accommodation, which ended up being the biggest squat in Western Europe.
Its always a pleasure listening to your tales ❤
Glad you like them!
A Gargoyle lined hallway? sounds cool.
It was. I aspire to have one someday.
When you said you’d say random things that were normal to you and people would say why are you like this. I literally just recently had this said to me. And I couldn’t understand what it was that was so different. I’m almost 18 and started my first job and it’s been so hard to talk to my fellow coworkers
I had a lot of homies growing up that wore ropes as belts. I'm guilty of it myself. We would steal it from Home Depot and wear it when skating instead of shoelaces because it would last longer. That or a chain which doubled for a weapon in case of trouble. We knew one trad goth girl and her favorite thing to do in the summer was wear black halter tops with what looked like a black wedding favor around her arm with safefy pins. The lace often matched her tights. Absolutely stunning!
I'm in love with this whole look, from the make-up to your outfit and necklace. You look stunning
Thank you so much!!
Thank you as always for sharing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I remember that tape trick especially when we were coming up in the scene 🤣
I wonder how we learned that trick. It was one of those things we just knew.
@@angelabenedict True we are very resourceful 🤣 a friend of my uncles who was a DJ said it when I was young maybe like 8 and I just remembered it a couple years later when I ran out of blank's
I think some of us noobs (myself especially) are a little iffy about back-watching because we occasionally let the RUclips algorithm think for us when selecting what to watch during busy periods of our lives, then we forget to go back and search through the back-catalogues of our favorite RUclipsrs later on.
You know how it goes: you're working your tech support gig, writing up help articles and answering chats and calls from clients, you'd like something on in the background that you can wrap your brain around (that isn't work-related) during your brief bouts of off-time, so you pick something from the "Suggested Viewing" pile off to the right of the video you're already watching rather than stopping and thinking about what you want to see or being more thoughtful about your viewing experience.
I love the way you tell stories
The queen has posted! 💚🕷️🔮
I don't really remember when I discovered goth music but I know I wasn't 'part of the scene' until after the mid-2000s, so watching your storytime vids about how you grew up, what the culture was like in the 80s and 90s from first hand accounts, and being introduced to new music and fashion [aka kitchen accessories, apparently] through your channel and similar is very fascinating and educational.
I listen to much of the same music you do, with that said we are witches. We don't dress that different from anyone. But now I want to. You are amazing and so well spoken. Don't know if would fit in well, but I would like to try
Do what feels natural to you. Never deny yourself the right to experiment and be you.
Great video Angela, I love your storytelling! Your stories remind me of myself when I was in the 90's and getting into Metal music and Gothic, I remember going to my first concert in 1997, I saw Korn at the Salem Armory here in Oregon. It was awesome and definitely a culture shock! I'm still into Metal and Gothic everything, and I love 80's music too! I've watched your video's since 2017, and have seen them all! Even though I'm not Goth, I love learning all about the subculture and even hearing the music too; I feel like us 'Alternative' people are one big family! 😊 I remember this story from your old video a few years ago, but feel free to remake some of your old video's with some added details, I think the newcomers would love hearing the stories!
I can't wait for Halloween coming soon haha! 👻
Thanks so much for this video. Music. Music is my obsession. Every single artist you mentioned has a place in me and my wife's music collection. Even that damn Peter Frampton album. I was a bit sheltered when I was a kid so until I was 15 I was basically into mom and dad's music. The Carpenter, ABBA and Johnny Cash. Still love that stuff btw. My mom's younger brother however was very into punk when it hit here in 77. So in addition to Barbra Streisand, Bela Lagosi and Release the Bats along with the Pistols etc were apart of my childhood musical background. As a result, my musical tastes are pretty extreme.
If I had to label myself, I guess I'd say The Beatles are my favorite music ever above all. But after that I'd put post punk as my 'go-to' music. 78 to 84 or so. I just love music and I love talking about music. And people talking to me about music. Thanks again.
It’s always so interesting to hear your stories back when you were a teenager! I’m so happy you were able to develop and flourish new friendships/relationships in the goth community over the years. Thank you for sharing this, always glad to hear your throwback stories! 😊😊
Great vid , I agree about all the alternative kids having a loose social fellowship as freaks , then a closer fellowship of your specific subculture , we would hang out at school in the late 80's or on the local parks, there were more metal people where I lived so I used to hang out with them sometimes
oh i love the velvet top!!!!🖤🖤🖤i so look forward to your posts!!!.... were i live there was a club called the Wendyhouse which was always a great night out. But those days are gone now i so miss them. the goth scene here has dried up, but still go to Whitby Goth weekend every year!!! until next time!!!! safe journeys and bright blessings :)
Thank you! That's really nice of you to say. Ah, you're in the UK! I noticed the goth nights there required some travel depending on where you were. If you don't mind me asking, where in England are you from?
Leeds West Yorkshire the home of the Sisters song Temple of love..
@@angelabenedict i'm from Leeds West Yorkshire the home of the Sister of Mercy song Temple of Love... :)
crap missed it haha with my Journey into goth music i started from Punk Metal & Industrial back in the 2000's then discovered it i grew up hearing Alternative music love the outfit 😎
That top 😮 what fabric is that, velvet? It looks so pretty. Do tell where you got it from if you remember. Love the story times as always. Hope you’re having a lovely Sunday lady!
It is velvet, yes. Thank you! I got it used on poshmark but it was made by Dollskill.
Loved l7 and babes in toyland. And riot girl music even though my music background was metal.
Also: wow, do we have similar music tastes outside the Goth scene. o.O
(As for Smashing Pumpkins: one of my bosses at a religious TV station I worked at was a Smashing Pumpkins fanatic. That brings back so many fond memories...)
22:38 I'm sure his sources really appreciated staying hidden from more potential paying customers of their music. \m/
There was a lot of gatekeeping back then. It was interesting too because the level of gatekeeping back then was excluding and hiding the music from people who were genuinely interested in it. Now, you have people gatekeeping fashion.
@@angelabenedict This happened to me in high school in the late 80's. Some people were so protective about certain bands that they would refuse to share their music.
thank you sooo much for mentioning so many bands, I'm new to goth music and it's been great to have so many recommendations to listen through!! if anyone else has any favorite bands/songs they wanna talk about or share I'd love to hear 🖤🖤🖤
I'm going to revisit an old video to help with subgenres.
Fellow Gen-Xer here. I was born in the Ozarks of Southeast Missouri in 1979. In 1988 my family moved to Pennsylvania where I spent my adolescent years. In 1998 we moved back down to Southeast Missouri, and it was a bit of a culture shock to see the large number of pregnant teens. And much like Florida, Missouri has tons of evangelicals who rarely practice what they preach. I'm a Christian, but these evangelical church lurker types are full of hypocrisy and double standards!
Healthy, well adjusted adults don't need to believe in a sky daddy to be a good person......
@@Anonymous-wb3nz I'm a Christian and I'm very well adjusted. I despise all of society!
@@bigrockydennis4216well adjusted people don't believe in the bible.
@@thiscorrosion3843 I'm very well adjusted and I believe in the Bible. I forgive Goths for being mean to me. Last year I went on a Goth cruise, and they tried to throw me overboard and feed me to the alligators. Luckily there were some fellow Christian Goths who saved me.
@@thiscorrosion3843 I have some ideas of how we can revive the declining Goth scene in America. One thing we could do is be more inclusive to discriminated and marginalized minority groups such as necrophiliacs. As a necrophile myself, I've always felt a kinship to people such as serial killer Jeffery Dahmer. He was my childhood hero. Dahmer was a true necrophile in every sense of the word.
He used to have conversations with human remains because he was only able to feel a sense of connection to people who were deceased. Dahmer was reported to be seen masturbating under a bridge near his grandma's house in Milwaukee during the early 1980's. Dahmer also used to eat penises. He was a really cool dude!
Thank you for your testimony. It was really Interesting! 💜
I love listening to your life stories. ❤️
Thank you Angela for mentioning the imaginary town I would not like to belong called"Normiville', I prefer ' Gothville'.
I went out with my husband last night to a goth night in my town's art district, which I wasn't even sure he would be interested in experiencing, and we both had an amazing time. We've been married for almost 20 years, and when we met, I was dressing very differently from how I've started dressing again. But I never stopped missing my nights out at Sanctuary, a goth club in SLC. That was when I felt most true to myself. I don't know why I stopped and tried to be someone I'm not. Maybe the demands of my daily life as a new college student while caring for my home and family, maybe societal pressure, maybe I was experimenting, I don't know. I'm just happy to feel at home again, and I love being married to a man who not only accepts me but also wants to be a part of the subculture with me. I'm never going to be untrue to myself again.
Yes, first time at a alternative ore goth club teaches you a lot... and it teaches you: You are okay! Thats very important for "freaks". We had a very alternativ village disco with goth dancefloor till early twothousands. Than it closed. A big lost for many young and older countryside freaks about an hour around that disco. Years later, we had a lot remember partys.
Ronkonkoma. I remember that area as a child. My family had a card shop in a shopping mall. It was...not very well developed, then.
Pity that when you were in Florida, you weren't in the Ft. Lauderdale/Miami area. The scene was/is small, but steady, even though it took work and there were some...amusing situations between promoters and clubs.
Stoppp i literally was JUST wondering when you'd upload next, cause i'm caught up on all my gothy videos, and then this dropped, along w my jaw because of the crazy timing 😂🖤
Also, i love the look! That shirt goes soo well w your makeup!
Ha! That's awesome! Perfect timing, I hope you like it. Thanks for the kind words!
@@angelabenedictjust finished it, i loved it!! ty for yet another banger 😌🖤
Great video as always Angela, your openness to share is appreciated and genuine, and as always... your makeup is perfect!
That's really kind of you to say. Thank you so much!
There were no goth music when i was in my early teens. Instead i shifted out Beatles/ABBA/Beach Boys for Sex Pistols/Kate Bush/Pink Floyd. My first real "goth experience" was a concert in 1982 with Sioxsie and the Banshees, first times music made my skin tingle. "But not them" with Sioxsie and Budgie was a revelation. None the less it took another 13 years before I discovered the goth subculture on internet, and it was a direct fit! My first goth club was Slimelight in London. I was very nervous, since you had to approach someone in the queue to get inside as their "guest". Then you could buy you own member card inside after a few hours. In my experience almost all goth clubs I have visited (maybe 25 in ten countries) have had a friendly atmosphere and been very happy for a new friendly face, even a 50 year old male. I have even brought mainstream colleagues to goth clubs (wear something black!) and they have been amazed by the relaxed and friendly atmosphere. I usually come early right after the door opens, so I can chat with the people and tell them all the things I like about their place. More than one time I have got a couple of free drink in return
I love your makeup. Red eyeshadow.and blood red lips
I went from classic nerd, like straight out of a teen movie, to a metalhead. I listened to metal most of my life, because I got adopted young, and my adoptive family was into early metal and hard rock. But I got into heavier stuff when I was like 10 or 11. However I was in a Fl catholic school. So I didn’t know anyone into metal around my age. I didn’t know anyone my age, really, because nobody wants to be friends with the kid who wears grandma glasses and headgear braces, with frizzy hair. We moved a lot, too. But in 10th grade we were in a whole other state and I started at the public school. I got adopted by the metalheads/headbangers my first day. I can’t say I was ever ‘normal.’ I was so released that I didn’t have to be pretty to have friends, even if I didn’t look as bad as I had.
But it didn’t matter that I had pretty much given up on having a ‘good’ style, in the eyes of subculture or mainstream culture. It didn’t matter that my body and face were meh, at best. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t allowed to dress how I wanted and just settled for baggy things that were the opposite of ‘sexy.’ I even got a bf within a month of school. We lasted all of 2 months but stayed friends, because… we were 15. I had friends who were not in the AP/honors program who appreciated me for being in it, and didn’t just make me do their homework. They appreciated my art and didn’t judge me for my childhood. They may have given me shit for liking music that wasn’t metal but it was just joking and not serious. We all had music we didn’t like that a friend liked, and joked about it. Normies seemed to all like or claim to like the same things, and if they went against that, you got a ton of shit. That looked really boring.
But it was night and day, being accepted by outsiders vs living underneath the normie hierarchy. I also noticed a huge need to metalhead pipeline. Even in some subgenres, the lyrics are super nerdy! I felt so much better about my weird interests and thoughts. I’m glad I walked into that school, drew the Lateralus eye on a notebook, and walked out if that school with a social life.
I thought i was the only one held back in the first grade 😅 it was a stupid situation for me too
It's a strange grade to be held back in but also not uncommon I'm coming to find. Do you always get the same response? 'First grade, what's the problem? Couldn't color inside the lines?' I get that one a lot.
You are always interesting angela love you're videos love you're oufits i would never you are and were a freak you are unique as you are love your videos
That's very nice of you to say, thank you!
This one snuck by..catching up
27:44 This makes me want to ask people about their 10 most favorite albums - not in a gatekeepy way, but I think it's a really interesting way to get a feel for someone's music tastes and by extension some of their personally. However, I don't think I would want to tell anyone my 10 favorite albums since my list would contain some mildly embarrassing very un-goth music hahaha. Kind of ironic since I would never judge anyone else for that, but when it comes to myself I don't want anyone to think I'm a poser lmao. Anyway, I want people to tell me about their 10 mostj favorite albums.
Asking about music isn't "gatekeeping", so let's stop lumping those two words together. It's getting old.
I love your videos.
At the time freak was a derogatory term, right? But you guys claimed it back by saying "We're freaks."
Yes, it was shouted at us from passing cars and normie kids at school so coming from the mouth of a non-alternative it was offensive and immediately put us on guard. Coming from other alt kids, it was strangely reaffirming.
We sure loved a mini-backpack and glitter back then lol. Something freaks and normals agreed on lol. Remember the “soft spiked” packs being more cool factor in the clubs.
Your Family, Moving out of Florida, was a great thing for real, because Florida is a very very very Beautiful Place for real, but Florida does get a lot of Hurricanes 🌀 And Floods to the Point that it can take your House Down very very very Fast 💨 for real.
"Level Bjork"? Bwahahahaha! I'm the sort tgat would spin "Human Behaviour" at a dance night if I was djing.
Haven’t finished the video yet! But I wasn’t alternative until around 15, always was wierd and loved darker things, but discovered goth music around 15. I am
Now 19 and have been obsessed with goth music since, im not 21 yet so I have been sad about the inability to go to goth events for a few years. However I’ve now been to many goth nights due to sneaking in a few times and also my current friend opened an all ages venue which has monthly goth events which I’m trying to dj!
Well said🌑🖤🤘
Metal horns for a Goth video? No. Just no.
This is very interesting. You go into more details than your other videos, so I never would have guessed about you.
18:20 when I was in the subculture we dressed for the mood, for the theme even and goths would change their styles based on how they felt. If you take these "goth" categories for style (trad, cyber, romatic, post-punk etc) people didnt just dress in 1 style at the time we dressed in all of them. the goth fastionwas more fluid.
26:04 I had the exact same hair as you. shaved Asymmetrical bob.
I am curious as to what part of Florida do you consider South Florida.
Fort Myers is where I was.
Why did the title of your video make me think that you hung out with the Club Kids, from Limelight lol.
You're not far off! It was the same era so the style was the same.
Do you remember those backpacks in the 90s and early 2000s with PVC spikes on them?. I’ve looked everywhere for one, but I can’t find them anymore. It’s almost as if they have just been discontinued.
Ah, yes. I recorded many songs off the radio. When I recorded over audio and video cassettes, I covered the holes with Scotch tape. 🎵🎶🎵🎶
So, when was this lunchbox trend? reminded me of what I've seen ...online, of The Spooky Kids.
That was between 1992-1994
I have a metal lunchbox decorated with Goth band stickers. I keep my art supplies in it.
23:30 - same!
Ah yes, Babes in Toyland...what a band! I listened to them before I became immersed in the goth/industrial scene. I had their album Fontanelle. If I ever felt annoyed or irritated I could just play that CD. Their music was so intense, edgy, expressive, shouty, and angry to my ears; it was just so cathartic for me to allow that music to be a proxy for my own thougths and bring my emotions back down. That was I time when I was really starting to truly enjoy music, and was searching around various forms of "alternative" and "modern rock" to find what really suited me most.
What a great insightful video You just got a new subscriber ☠️ 🦇
Do you have spotify my love? Id love to hear your favourite music
Very pleased that your mum wanted to go back to New York City. It is not easy for many adults to acclimatise to a backward community in another part of the country.
love your videos have a lovely day
You are so kind!
haha. Those forks and spoons look gggrrreeeaaatttt on you.
Where's your blouse from? ❤❤❤
I had the volume turned to the max and I could barely hear your video. I don't know if it's my computer... Sorry if it sounds rude but could you find a way to make the volume in your videos a little louder?
You're not the first to tell me, I'm so sorry. I've been having very strange audio issues. They sound fine on my end but when they get posted they're very quiet.
@@angelabenedict Don't worry, thanks for letting me know. 🥰
I think normal is a relative term to me being who you are is normal to others its probally something like falling into some basic category they have set for you in there own mind. Who wants to be or do that who wants to be normal the shit is boring lol.
Did you reupload this video? I saw this yesterday. Or the day before.
Yes, there were errors. They're fixed now!
what red lipstick do you use! it looks exactly like red velvet 🖤
Black Moon Cosmetics make it and it's the color 'Deranged'
But I LOVE that. Watching a "Church Virgin" grow and blossom into their own. It's one of the things that our world really encourages, at least in it's original state. It's beautiful, when it happens.
What’s Dawn like now? Is she still alternative?
Yup, she still is! She's a mom now but still listens to the same music and still wearing what she wants. She dresses more rockabilly these days.
eightieeeees! :)
You have other goth friends. I would love to here stories about other people "going goth" especially around your age. like your husband's story or your other friends who have been in videos. Even if you read their stories because they don't want to. I think it would be great to hear a lot of diffrent experiences.
it is funny because I visited/stayed with my Is cousin in Florida, and because I was away from my parents I was able to go fully goth fashion wise, and that is how I came back from summer vacation completely transformed.😂
Even if you had some of your older viewers write in these stories and you read them to share different perspectives that would be amazing, because even though I know mine, besides yours I don't really know many peoples "Origin" stories.
Goths didn't share those when I was younger probably out of fear of being a "poser"
They manybe helpful to baby bats and make them feel like "I am not doing it wrong" as well as bringing a sense of nostalgia to other older goths. Because even where your story doesn't match with mine, it still does that for me, and I think back to my past as a baby bat.
Did anyone ever tell you that you have that Wednesday Adams look?
Fashion phases
Emo/scene- I like Grunge fashion, and still listen to bands. (Obsessed with my black boots).
Gothic- I like red black element, Romantic like.
Cybergoth- Realized I can't industrial dance 🤣 But I love the look so much. Maybe with a mix of my element. I wish I could industrial dance 😢 its so fun 🎉
Trad Goth- Found out I find all black boring. But I like the nest hair and bat aesthetic, Like a cure song, the forest. I also like flare sleeves.
Lolita gothic/fairy- Not in this heat 🤣 but i f'ing love it so much. Even in convention i'd die from heat.
Fairy kei- I find it so appealing, but clothes are expensive, and I realized I dont like full pastel.
Decora kei- Too flashy for my eyes. But I enjoyed listening to some what you call hyperpop? Idk.
Kawaii- Casual anime inspired look. I enjoyed, Got my knee highs that I protect at all cost lol. Though lately I've been feeling alittle insecure, I feel like the ugly face filter meme.
Last thing I've tried is
I watched a few ancient cdramas (fantasy ones) And loved the long hair look.
My hair is long when straightened, Got some hair sticks (casual and formal ones) and diyed 🤣. Felt pretty for a while, but realized This is not me, I still feel inside me That I have yet to express my fashion look.
In the end, I listened to my voice and realized I was into eccentric fashion lol but with my own twist.
Sigh* I miss messing with fashion, but I'm in my 20s now lazy lol. That piece of me hasnt died though, I still go through my wardrobe XD changing like 3 times LOL
🖤🦇🖤
You take it more seriously. Less of a phase. Would you say that it has changed you for the better or worse?
I'd say for the better because it's exposed me to people who are like me. It's introduced me to music that I connect to and I don't find myself pretending to be something I'm not anymore. Trying to live among the land of the societal norms aka friends or family outside of alternative, they viewed me and everything I did as 'weird' and treated me as if there was something wrong with me when I expressed a simple thought or behaved in ways that were natural to me. I believed them. The first time I walked into that club night, after years suppressing who I am and thinking that there was something wrong with me, I was suddenly in a warehouse full of people tho thought and behaved just like me.
Late 30's here. It's no phase.
Considering that the majority of Goths in the clubs are over the age of 30, it's safe to say that music is no phase....
Based on some of the things you said, especially about feeling abnormal and mirroring others' behaviour, have you ever considered pursuing an autism diagnosis or looked into it for yourself as I know getting a formal diagnosis is inaccessabile for most people especially as AFAB presentations of autism can be so different from what most people (including most medical practioners) associate with ASD
Wow, just how low is your IQ?
Grow up.
@@Anonymous-wb3nz grùd up
As a young teen, I mistakenly thought Evanescence and Nightwish were Goth bands until I met actual Goths who showed me the real Goth music. Being called out was literally the best thing that could have happened to me, otherwise I would have never discovered Switchblade Symphony, Sisters of Mercy, Project Pitchfork, and all the other bands I still love to this day. Being called a poser was the kick in the pants I needed, because I absolutely was one. Lol
Miss A.B if I may call u that I really like and Respect u I don't have any friends I use to live in Claremont California where our ppl use to be on of that where a lot of supernatural beings and others use to hangout we r abnormal because how we r treated I more than understand but I don't care how those kind think act or say besides u have friends I never have still don't but I wish I could have real friends like u in person the other fact to is that u r a lady so most listen to u like looking at u ur stories r real life I know from personal experiences but always alone
Gothic is Not how u act it's not in what u wear it's all part in and of ur personality who u r Not a label it's u r or not anyway I like and fully Respect all but the real ones even more
Goth is a music based subculture. Goth is a group of people united in a subculture bound by the music. As far as alternative, that I feel is more of a mindset because the people that felt comfortable enough to step outside the norm were also comfortable enough to not be afraid to be themselves and let those non-dangerous intrusive thoughts win sometimes. The normie folk were too scared are unimaginative to stray from being 'proper', ya know?
Goth is music, period.
Goth is not a "state of mind". It's a music preference.