When Your Spouse Isn't Perfect

Have you been married long enough to realize your spouse isn't perfect? Once the honeymoon is over, reality of day-to-day life sets in when everything isn't as perfect as we'd imagined. So how do we adjust?
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[@s1n4m1n]

So is it ever appropriate for a spouse to think about his or her own needs, wants, or desires?
It’s a pretty common problem whereby only one spouse puts in the effort. Most likely they are the ones watching your videos. The answer always seems to be “just live with it”.

[@blessedmarriage3591]

That's a difficult place to be in, for sure, when you don't feel your needs are considered. Our perspective is to help those who want to honor covenant marriage by remaining in the marriage. From this perspective, we don't look at leaving the marriage to find another spouse or going outside the marriage to have needs met. Since we can't change our spouse, what do we do when it isn't what we'd hoped? Often, a spouse withdraws from meeting needs because he/she feels the same way- that his/her needs aren't being met, so why try. For many couples, when one chooses to meet the other's needs and pour into the spouse, connectivity can possibly be revived. The thought is to repair the connection before asking for needs to be met, supplying the relationship needed for meeting needs.

[@s1n4m1n]

My experience of 28 years of marriage is you keep on pouring in with nothing in return. Or more truthfully, you pour it in with very little being returned. Wife actually says “I don’t have to do anything for you.” Of course then I’m told by the same people who say marriage is rewarding that having expectations and wanting needs met is selfish. Oh well.