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Episode 42: Why Shame Holds Us Back
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Shame is the result of carrying our wounding, alone. Shame keeps us repeating the same cycles, patterns, and behaviors. And, it has us believe that we aren’t worthy of connection. We all carry shame. In this episode, we talk about why it holds us back and how to release it.
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I don't listen to the podcast every week, but when I do listen, it is always spot on with what I am needing to hear. I woke up this morning with a deep sadness, crying because I feel lonely and rejected. Listening to this, I realize that I do carry a lot of shame, and I do hide a lot of myself from people. I fear rejection, so I keep people at a distance, basically rejecting them before they can reject me. Thank you for being real with your followers, and authentic. I get angry and feel shame in my reactions when I am upset, too, so thank you for being vulnerable and sharing those truths!!
This comment put a lump in my throat, Autumn. (This is Jenna). It takes so much awareness and so much boldness and courage to look and be able to articulate what you've shared here. We both see so much of ourselves in your words and are so grateful for your being here and your sharing. We are all humans discovering the fullness of this experience and it's a beautiful thing to know and to see we're all doing it together. Thank you for holding space and for the work you yourself are doing. So grateful you are here
I’m so terrified of sharing who I am with people. Today I struggled with deciding to make a post on Facebook because I thought it could be perceived as weird.
Ooof, Audrey we felt this one. We celebrate you and your authentic voice. Just the other day I deleted something I wrote (this is Jenna) because I went through my own moments of fear and panic of its perception. Your light deserves to shine and shine brightly it will. Thank you for being raw and vulnerable here! You're leading by example.
I was raised in the evangelical church my whole life and 'I am not worthy' is the mantra that is subscribe to. I am working at unwinding that thought process on the daily. thank you for this honest heartfelt discussion. I appreciate you all so so much!
I deal with the same thing as a Christian - I can’t seem to accept the idea of saying we’re not worthy of love etc
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Heather and Dianne. I can imagine how much consistent practice is required to unravel that belief and replace it with what's true for you. It's inspiring to witness you both doing so, and finding your own truth and your own voice, being able to witness the ones that were learned and not chosen. Lots of love for you both. We are celebrating you!
Oh Nicole, I feel you SO much in this episode. This feels like the most vulnerable you’ve been in any content I’ve ever seen of yours. 💗 I relate deeply and you are inspiring me to check my own “teacher” mode that I feel so protected in. It’s hilarious to me when I realize that it’s actually often protecting me from the very thing I desire most. That vulnerable and relatable connection. Our teacher modes are beautiful but so are our raw true full selves. I love the contrast you both frequently bring to the table where Jenna seems to flow comfortably in the emotional and personal sharing while Nicole comes in with the tactical and studious energy. Seeing more sides of you both is wonderful. I am grateful to spend my Sundays with you. 💗-Steph
SO MUCH CELEBRATION FOR THIS! Continuing to celebrate Nicole's vulnerability and realness in this episode. Thank you for sharing you experience and observations here with us, Steph. We are both so grateful for you sharing your time and presence with us all.
CONGRATULATINS jenna for taking care of little J and not running to nicole. WOW, that is a BIG deal. and nicole, MY GOSH, KUDOS KUDOS for listening and looking inward in the mirror. NOT easy to do. i'm proud of you both and SO grateful you are sharing with me.
Thank you!!
Thank you both! I will be honest: it felt so painful to me, I was hurting in my stomach as if I got kicked, to see you Nicole, that I so admire, showing your 'weak' side. I struggle to say to you (and to myself) that this vulnerability could be an admirable and courageous thing and I cannot say it authentically. So obviously you shockingly pulled me in a powerful way to realize how shameful I am with myself. I mean realize it in the deepest corner - not just comprehend it as I obviously was doing until today
Powerful reflection, Fani. Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us here. You discovered it for yourself, rather than learned it for another. Celebrating you!
I connected so deeply to Jenna speaking about the deep humiliation and embarrassment (as opposed to personal shame) of growing up in poverty and difficult circumstances that are out of our control as children but feel as though represent us so unfairly at the time… I’ve had so much trouble communicating and connecting about this to others (even though I have 3 sisters that all went through the same thing - we just don’t talk about it to normalise and protect ourselves from the feeling, I think) that do not have this experience and it took me writing a memoir piece of short fiction for a creative writing class I had about an event that happened in my childhood to go deeper into all these emotions I had as a child and teen, all this resentment and anger and just pure humiliation I felt whenever I stepped outside the house, so I just hid in a little shell and pretended that there wasn’t an issue there to others to protect myself from the deep shame of growing up without the (in this case material) things I needed. Thank you so much for talking about your experiences with this, Jenna - I often feel so isolated in this enormous (decades-long) experience and how it has continued to impact me to this day.
Eva, thank you so much for taking the time to share here. This is Jenna. Hearing your resonance and a piece of your own story is valuable, so healing and so empowering. You inspire me and I know in my soul that your sharing and your voice is helpful and healing to so many. I love that you brought out your own deeper emotions and exploration through your writing. You inspire me and I have no doubt you inspire so many, whether you're aware of it or not. I felt it in my gut when you mentioned not talking about it with your sisters, likely in an attempt to normalize and protect ourselves from the feeling- this is so powerful and something I've witnessed with my own siblings and myself. We normalized our environment so much to ourselves and in some ways still do. I'm continuing to remind myself (and my twin) that it doesn't dishonor ourselves, or our parents, when we speak the objective reality of how things really were-and how NOT okay things truly were. I will always, always continue to give a voice to this experience and I am so grateful for your presence doing the same. So much love and gratitude to you, Eva.
I resonate with this so much Eva (and Jenna!). My experience wasn’t poverty, but rather parental alcoholism. Everything you said struck a chord with me though. Thank you for sharing that, and thank you Jenna for acknowledging her sharing. What a great community this is!
Shame is so real, coming from a home where domestic violence had been going on before I was born, alcoholic and addicted parents, a traumatic loss of a parent at 8. I resonate with both of your emotions and stories every episode. Thank you.
nicole, your transparency and vulnerability in this episode is ADORABLE and sweet. YOU are VERY sweet and kind anc compassionate. just like we ALL are when we take down our defenses.
Big time celebrating Nicole for how she shows up in this episode!!
Connection has always been a struggle for me. For different reasons, I felt I wanted no part of connection to the world, and felt the world wanted no connection to me. I acted like I was better off keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. Afraid to connect and be authentic. "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." - Brene Brown
What an amazing episode! Thank you both for being so open and vulnerable. I would also like to say to Jenna: please do not feel like you need to talk less! Your story is helping me significantly in my own healing journey. I also grew up in a household with abuse and addiction - my dad has been an addict since I was born and still is today. He continues to fight his battle but unfortunately shame and his own trauma takes over. I've been playing the parent for most of my life and I struggle between wanting to help him to stay sober, and protecting myself from the hurt and disappointment. So thank you for sharing your story so openly! Also on the topic of shame and something that could be worth expanding on in future podcasts - how to be confident with being your authentic self as a queer person (or anyone from a minority group). I have trauma from being bullied as a child for being gay and still struggle with this today. I really hope for a future where we can all just be accepted for being who we are!
Mark, thank you so much for taking the time to share and connect with us all here. I'm so grateful to hear my sharing is impactful and supportive for you on your journey. I can relate so much to your experience with your father- you describe the cycle so well. At the end of the day, our parents are just as powerful (and responsible) for their own healing as we are now as adult children.
Thank you for your request/suggestion for an expansion on that topic. Grateful for your vulnerability and your voice. We hope for the same future and together, we are creating it right here in the now! Stay tuned :)
This is the first time I’ve listened to you actually speak as I usually only read your posts on IG.I’m so glad to hear Nicole speaking honestly about her own difficulties with showing who she is as opposed to what she said was putting on a ‘performance’ in her work.This will not only help you build your own awareness with yourself,creating space and safety to just ‘be’ but it will help others who also struggle.This is getting real so well done to you
YES! Celebrating this (and Nicole's vulnerability!!), Michelle! Thank you for sharing your words and experience here.
thirty five min mark. nicole, i think the reason why OTHER wants you to be more clinical and a teacher and jenna to talk less (lol that was funny.) is BC, NICOLE, for better or worse, you have a VERY unique and wonderful way of explaining/describing WHY we do the things that we do. we understand that we need to reframe and/or go inward and/or look in the mirror and/or become awake to OUR own behavioral patterns, we know the theories, that you both talk about beutifully BUT nicole, you DO have a way of explaining WHY we do this and that is CRUCIAL to ALOT of us.
So well put, Alexis!
Thank you both so much for being so honest and open and vulnerable. Especially by being NOT „the clinical psychologist who’s got it all figured out“ and being real - your content deeply resonates with average, not publicly known people like myself. I can understand my story so much more and better with your help and your sharing of real life experiences and reflections! Thank you so much for your work! I hope we can all continue doing the work and become better humans infinitely ☺️💓
Emilia, thank you so much for taking the time to connect and share here. We are so grateful for your presence and so glad these conversations are impactful and supportive for you! We're here for the lifelong journey :)
I can’t thank you both enough for your service to our community. Thank you 🙏
What a powerful conversation, born out of vulnerability. I can’t say enough about how necessary a convo this is for people to hear: two people in relationship acknowledging one another’s pain yet their personal need for a boundary to love themselves. Go Lil J!
Reminds me of a Brene Brown definition of “boundary” as the place I can love you and myself simultaneously.
After I was gifted the book on How to do the Work, I started doing the work. I have been on this journey for around 2 years now, and have learned a lot about myself so far. I was raised to not draw attention to myself, always be on your best behavior, life is not about you, but everyone else, and whatever happens at home stays at home. I got pregnant at 18 and was kicked out. Over 25+ years I was repeatedly reminded of that shameful time. Over 2 years ago one of my sons scolded me about my behavior and I no longer received phone calls from him or his family. I have lived my whole life feeling shameful of one thing or another that I had done. I keep people at bay to ensure I never offended anyone or bring shame upon myself and am a struggling recovering people pleaser. I hope one day to live my life in a manner where I don't feel shame for trying to exist the way I want. Thank you for providing the guidance as I continue doing the work.
We are celebrating your awareness, willingness and vulnerability, Jeanie!! Thank you so much for the work you are doing and for taking the time to share here with us all. We're right here alongside you!
Nicole, when you speak here I feel your pain as mine, b/c you are speaking my life and my heart. Thank you for being voulnerable and open to share.
I felt a new level of vulnerability being shared here. Thank you both so much for using such personal experiences to help others. High relatability and deep gratitude. Love from London x
This was so amazing. Thank you Dr. Nicole and Jenna, for always making it relatable by courageously sharing your stories. I truly appreciate the openness and it makes me know I am not alone in dealing with shame relating to my childhood wounds. I now see how shame has been holding me back from being my authentic self and walking in my truth.
I love your vocabularies. So soothing and reassuring. You guys remind me the very first counselors I encountered years ago in Michigan. I had never heard anyone speak so positively and softly. I fell in love with the profession at that moment. I was in a runaway shelter in Royal Oak.
Wow, beautiful episode. I appreciate the vulnerability and authenticity. And also your clear explanation of death not being a separation of connection with a loved one, but rather a gain, because we can choose to connect with them at a different level now. And regarding shame; still learning so much about that one. It is just a feeling, and we need only be aware of it, not judge it, and allow it's energy to pass through us. Rather than obsess with it, build it a palace, and allow no one to enter. Thank you, I have learned so much from you both. Keep up the realness and the love. We are all here to walk each other home.
Need to hear this exactly today. Resonating with a lot. Thank you for doing this
So glad for this Paula. Thank you for sharing here and for being here. Sending lots of love to you.
Thank you dear Nicole for NOT being clinical and functional. Thank you two for such a realness and authenticity. This episode just came to me at its most needed time. 🙏🏻💖
Thank you so much for engaging here and putting this episode on your path, Sepideh! Grateful for your presence here.
Another great episod thank you both! Nicole, when i heard you so vulnerable i was thinking "why on earth her saying that would make me dislike or reject her". and I really couldn't figure it out!! It then helped me to see further my wounded ego and apply this thought to myself.
it is so comforting to "normalize" how non-linear healing is and as helpful as "clinical content". Thank you again
I resonated SO much with Nicole as we have the same childhood bground. TQ for sharing your pain and giving our pain words, which I have been struggling with all my life ❣
I've always struggled with making connections. For different reasons I always felt I was different than most and not able to relate with others on a lot of things. Constantly tried to keep to myself and try to stay out of trouble. Not wanting to connect with the world and feeling that the world didn't want to connect with me right back, and that is just how it was supposed to be. This took me further away from my authentic self. " Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." - Brene Brown
Thank you SO much for your sharing, Jon! You are certainly not alone and your sharing allows so much relatability to others experiencing the same. So grateful you are here
Nicole, you've literally captured EXACTLY how I feel in such a clear way. The first 15 minutes felt like a gentle suckerpunch. Thank you both for this discussion. It's so eye-opening 🙏🏾
You are so welcome, Pony! Thank you for listening with eye's wide open and for leaning in. We're so grateful you're here.
Again , an absolutely essential and profoud raw discussion. 🙏 The healing that happens in " real time" for everyone in these conversations is just extraordinary. Shame is a big one; and linked to so many other " branches", feelings, and trauma. Shame is very cunning and in some ways, seductive. Like pain and " victim consciousness ". So closely connected with guilt, fear the building blocks of suppression of oneself and the foundations for constant negative self-talk and self- sabotage. It's like a " poison" disguised as a treatment in some ways. Jenna, it's so beautiful that you yourself recognise that Jakeb is speaking through you; his experience is being transferred through your voice. The quote is very profoundly true and his light is shining on us all. And Nicole your bravery to acknowledge in front of us all, I honour your courage and bravery. We are exactly " walking each other home". Thank you again for another deeply moving episode of real life ❤️ 🙏
I love these podcasts. extra thank you for doing both video & audio, I really prefer my podcasts this way.
so glad you're loving the videos, Katlyn! Thank you for being here and sharing your feedback :)
So much vulnerability & authenticity wow..i admire you both for your courage , i am constantly learning from you and i am GRATEFUL that you both + your team EXIST . Just the way that you do❤️sending lots of love from Romania
Thanks for doing this. I love listening to your voices. It's calming and soothing.
Beautiful, honest, raw, real humans ❤️
Amen to that. Thank you so much, Spis. So grateful you are here
Thank you for doing the work, being real and showing us the way to do it too!
Thank you sooo much!!! See you in Amsterdam 😊 i hope Jenna wil be joining you Nicole ❤
This episode is so powerful!! Thank you so much for sharing so authentically and vulnerably. Seeing you Nicole, so much more vulnerable and authentic, made me love you even more, relate even more with you and your experience. I saw the agitation rising in Nicole, and when she spoke it to words, I thought "this is so beautiful"... she has such a connection and awareness of the physical sensations and inner world and so much courage to speak it out loud in the world. I resonated so much with this fear of being seen exactly as I am. For instance, I'm currently working as a babysitter, and I notice myself being authentic with the kids and in front of them, and the moment the parents get home, feeling like I have to put a filter on and behave as I imagine they would want me to. So, witnessing both of you reclaiming your authentic self and standing in your true power, inspires me immensely to do the same. It's, also, so beautiful to witness you Jenna so empowered!! I resonated so much with the space needed in order to stop abandoning yourself and little you, and start honouring your soul's needs first. Past me would always give, give, give to the world, be there for everyone else, without giving to and being there for myself first. When I started working on that, I felt, and still do, the need to set a lot of boundaries, to create so much space so that I can start to see myself and honour my needs. And sometimes I would feel like suddenly I want to give nothing to other people, and felt ashamed about it, only to realise later that this is exactly what is currently needed. Only with creating so much space I could start learning to give to myself first, and to create choice, so that in the future I can make an empowered choice to be there authentically for someone else and not as my past wounding. Thank both of you again so much for being so authentically and beautifully you!❤🌺
Thank you so much for this episode. Jenna you had me in tears when you were talking to the parents. I've struggled so much with how absent I've been to my kids because I was discociated and on autopilot for so much of my adult life. Shame is something I often struggle with. You allowed me to give myself some grace, and recognize that through the work I'm doing on myself I'm showing up more and more authentically for them and modeling healthy behaviors for them now.
This is so powerful, Jessica. Thank you for sharing with us. The more you lean into the work, the more examples they'll witness of your TRUE authentic Self. And the more examples you'll give yourself and Little Jessica, too. I call it being your own proof :) So much love to you Jessica and so much gratitude to you for sharing your experience here.
Now that you, Nicole, verbalize the feeling, I can see it on myself!
Thank you so much for sharing, and being your truth self in front of the camera, not easy to be exposed.
CELEBRATING YOU, KIMBERLY! Thank you so much.
I love your podcast and all 3 of you💓💓💓
Thank you for helping the world heal🙏❤️🙏
Thank you ladies ✨☮
You are so welcome, Iris. Thank you so much for engaging and being here!
Beautiful and raw and authentic and real and more. Thank you both
I usually listen to the podcast instead of watching the video, but I wanted to comment to say that this is my favourite episode yet! It feels even more raw and vulnerable than usual. It is inspiring and makes me feel less alone. Nicole, I love how you give a voice to those who didn't experience the more overt traumas, like myself. That's so validating and so helpful. Our understanding of trauma is rapidly increasing. You help speak to that new understanding of trauma that we have. It's not an event. And it's not just something really bad that happens to someone. It can be a response to a lack of something that was needed in childhood. The way you articulated how shame can manifest as not sharing or expressing yourself with others really resonates with me. It's fascinating how unconscious and pre-verbal a lot of this stuff is. And I'm just watching the end of this now and really appreciating Jenna talking about her experiences with her brother and the lessons she's gleaned from it about shame and essence/self. You radiate, Jenna. Sending my love to you and yours.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your reflections with us here, Smileyface. We appreciate your words and presence here so much. Sending love to you and yours as well.
One of my favorites to date. Hit home & heart on many levels. Thank you both.
Thank you so much for putting this on your path, Am Chamberlin! Grateful for your feedback and presence here.
Love you both 😍 I am so GRATEFUL you both exist to share your knowledge and experiences with us! Thank you 😊
3 minutes past the beggining of the episode and I felted something was different.. I had to pause cause I felt emotional, I felt a knot in my throat. When Jenna asked us to pause, and put us first before our children, I cryed.. this episode hit me like no other, not just because of the content offered, but the way that it was delivered to me. I felt it very real. You can't imagine how inspiring it is to me to feel that this path os also difficult to you Nicole, I feel sheltered by your vulnerability. Thank you. It must have been hard, I can't imagine.. thank you all for touching my heart, and allow me to evolve
WOOOOOWWWW THANK YOU FOR SPELLING IT ALL OUT AND CLEAR - I relate to Jenna's experience of humiliation in my childhood and your position in your current relationship. And Nicole's sense of shame - all of it. I thank you so much for expressing, articulating so clearly so courageously - in fact i am experiencing a demystification of the shame right now and in turn it gives me the courage to be more authentic with myself. Thank you beautiful souls.
SO PROUD OF YOU FARIDA! For being willing to listen, watch and embody the work for yourself. The demystification in real time. This is so powerful and your sharing here is so appreciated. Lots of love to you.
I love you so much Nicole and Jenna ❤️ your authenticity shared to all of us is healing and deeply touching 💞
We love you, too, Alessandra! Thank you so much for being here.
Just discovered this channel though I’ve been a not very active member of your self healer circle for years and this reminds me to get back into it! Greatly appreciate and love your work, and thank you for sharing this beautiful talk - so relevant, so much wisdom, and so much love.
Thanks for putting us back on your path, GFD! And thank you for being a member of the SelfHealers Circle! We're there for you whenever you choose to pop back in :) . Appreciate your sharing and connection here.
This was incredibly transformational! I'm going to listen again and takes notes. Listening for me brought up heavy feelings of me, my mom, my dad who passed last August..alot. Thank you for showing me where to focus❤
So much love for you and to you, Maggie. Thank you for sharing here and allowing yourself to feel your own feelings. It's inspiring. We're grateful for your presence.
Hi Ladies! I see, hear & love you both! Thank you for every effort that's put into this group. You're speaking my language! Request: Can you make a sharable GIF ot the like of Jacob's quote onto your platforms with his full name, please? It's a great one. Always looking forward to your posts. Keep going!! In gratitude, Lisa xoxo
I love listening to you every week❤️ shame has been taken too much space in my mind. Thank you for explain that to me, it is from my childhood.
Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to share with us all here, Hulda! Grateful for your reflections and resonance. Sending much love to you.
Hi both. Thanks for your work. I don't know if either of you watch Contrapoints' RUclips videos, but she recently released one called The Hunger, which deals with shame, emptiness and addiction. I thought I would share it because it reminded me of this podcast, and in particular of some of the things that Jenna has spoken about. It helped me to understand some of the things that you have been speaking about (e.g. it has good dramatisations of defensiveness). Also, Jenna is great - I don't see any need for her to speak less.
Thank you so much for sharing with us, Barbara! Much appreciated. I will definitely check out that RUclips. Grateful for your presence and engagement here
😮💨 Thank you to my core for this real life podcast 🫶🏻 resonates to a T Nicole + Jenna. I feel you in this current moment Nicole 😮💨 it’s as if you take the words I can’t quite grasp when I’m not in control.. so helpful for me currently as I’m experiencing out of body outrage towards my husband.. I will never stop the work 😮💨 so much gratitude for your work and honesty. All my love 🌈💟
SO PROUD OF YOU, KAT! Thank you for being real, honest, and courageous and vulnerable in sharing with us here. Sending so much love to you.
Yaaaas this podcast makes my sundays so happy 🥰🥰🥰
Love this!! So grateful to spend it with you!
appreciate you ladies!! thank you
Very raw episode…wow. So powerful.
Jennifer, thank you so much (always) for the love, support and engagement. So grateful this was supportive and resonant for you!
Thank you so much for this episode and your honesty, it is beautiful! ❤
Thank you so much, Ceyda! Grateful you are here.
Thanks :)
You are so welcome. Thank you for being in this conversation!
I was so waiting on this!!!! I have been watching A LOT of Dr. Brené brown videos on shame. And really wanted to know your guys’ take. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You definitely played part in transpiring this on your path!! Thank you so much for being here Leila
@@SelfHealersSoundboard 🤩🤩🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 your authenticity gives me permission to do the same. Honestly this community has been bringing me closer to my highest self every day🙏🏽💝
Beautiful, thank you.
Thank you for watching and connecting here, Theresa!
Carrying lots of sham
Good video thank you!
Wow! Amazing episode
Thank you so much Mimi!! Grateful for your presence and support.
Thank you! 💕💕
You are so welcome -- thank you for being here and for taking the time to send love, Radhika!
Gracias 💚
You are so welcome. Thank you for being here and connecting, Sol Azul!
I was working on shame when I saw the video in my feed. There was a piece of the puzzle that I couldn't see, until I watched your video. Thank you both🙏
See you back home 🌌
I was not allowed to be my own person when I was growing up. If my parents didn’t like a feeling we had or something we were doing we were shamed. Also, if we tried to give my mother any feedback, she would lock herself in the bathroom.
A great episode and I'm only 7 minutes in
i just don't know YET that i agree with the definitions of shame and humiliation that jenna spoke of. currently i don't think that it's that black and white as she describes. i think they can be interchangeable. i appreciate and LOVE both POVs in general. i connect more with nicole, my nervous system does. i'm grateful to both. this is in the first fourteen minutes. i just feel like nicole talks WITH me. i hope i'm not hated for this comment.
Thank you for sharing your reflections and thoughts, Alexis! That's one of my favorite aspects of this podcast: diversity of thought and resonance. (This is Jenna). Definitely not hated for this comment (there is not hate here), instead, we celebrate this comment and your engagement! Grateful for you.
I’m aware just today is how I have counseled lots of teens and adults but now I’m seeing the timidity needing to go patiently as I observe the shaming emotional thought forms dissolving
Uncanny coincidence
The universe at its finest :) Thank you for taking the time to be and share with us, Brian!
❤
❤❤❤❤
So much love to you Kristen! Thank you for the love and support.
I have to say something about shame. Shame is normal reaction when we do something that is embarrassing. All mammals have it. There is difference between toxic shame and healthy shame. Healthy shame is necessary. Toxic shame comes from parents response to mistake when they send message that we made a mistake because something is wrong with us. It starts very early and organically in the body. It is not in mind, it shifts posture and look in the ground. Toxic shame is the core of no selfeasteam. It first comes in the body, and then becomes that voice in our head that is shaming everything. It is internalized anger. Problem with toxic shame is cellular memory not cognitive. The place when in started we didn't have thought. I had fear and anxiety on the surface, and I didn't realize for a while that it is toxic shame doing its job. And a gateway emotion for realising is disgust which is normal primal emotion. Shame is state of being. It is not much about thinking as to feel it in the body. And every time after disgust comes anger which would be normal response when we were small. So it is also a blockage for natural aggression as the energy of holding our boundaries. Anger is huge when it comes in healing toxic shame. Healthy shame is normal state. It comes down to have healthy shame, not toxic. My dog shows up shame when I raise a voice to discipline him. He shows it in postural reaction. So much more of body work and emotional work can stop that voice in the head. Thinking is only trying to think out state of body. I believe that Dr Peter Levine is the first one that came up to treating and understanding the difference between two types of shame. And I'm sorry about many many people who suffer because their upbringing was so toxic that it destroyed many lives and still will untill we collectively heal. Our society is so presenting on every step shaming authenticity. And thank you girls for trying to shift collective unconscious.
Thank you for sharing and engaging with us here as we do just that: shift our collective unconscious. Sending you lots of love, Bebaaskaful.
Is there a time at to get the transcript of this episode? I'd like to share some parts with people close to me without having them listen to the entire content, baby steps to help other understand what is going on inside me. Thank you
I’ve been trying to see/watch the podcast multiple times now and I can never really get past the 5-10 min mark. Not sure what it is exactly, but I’m feeling it’s a lack of accessibility because of length and video structure. :/
Hi En Joey. Thank you for letting us know your experience. Could you help us understand more what you mean by lack of accessibility and video structure? What would it look like for this to be more accessible to you?
Lots of love to you Miruna! Thank you for being and engaging here.
What a gift to receive this in my inbox on my birthday 🤍
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLEE!!!!!!! An honor and a gift to spend it with you. Sending you lots of love.