The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is Autistic
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
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it's so interesting how movies like scott pilgrim and 500 days of summer do a fantastic job of showing how the male characters unfairly place expectations on these women by way of deeming them "dream girls" and yet audiences still LOVE to slam these characters (and often also women in real life) for "trying too hard to be different/quirky". like how dare they be their unique selves ! it must be for attention ! the point you made on masking was super real. i see that so much with Summer especially
Unmasking has resulted in the dissolution of almost every relationship in my life, but I find that the masking was generating 98% of my stress and beginning to really affect my health. I’m sad to see them leave but I can’t argue with the physical benefits of unmasking. Thank you for your videos they help me maintain my resolve to stay authentic.
Also your 🐈⬛ is so beautiful, what an elegant creature
Thanks so much. Losing relationships is hard, but I understand the desire to do what is best for your mental health over everything. Hopefully, we can all begin to find our communities where we dont have to mask.
Turn to face the sun and your shadows will fall behind you.
THIS!!! to preface i don’t have autism, but i am neurodivergent & some of my traits are closely related to those with autism. in so many dating scenarios i’ve been seen as someone who will bring healing to the other, or i’ve been seen as a concept where ive literally been told to my face that i remind them of a fairy or or that i’m mysterious when in actuality they’ve only taken me at face value & ended the effort there. it’s so frustrating because as soon as they see the not so “fun” traits i would get ghosted or ignored one way or another. it wasn’t until a little over a year after the last time i dated anyone to recognize this trope & how it’s affected the way i’m treated when it comes to not only relationships but friendships as well. it’s an incredibly dehumanizing realization.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this as well. However, now that we can recognize it, we can start to build meaningful relationships and end ones that won't serve us in the long run. I hope things look up for you in your future relationships🤗
The. Way. You. Said. This. I love it, thank you. You actually put so much in place for me
This is an interesting idea. I'm autistic and I've always identified with the MPDG. I've watched a video about them in the past that said they can't possibly exist. I was like wow I'm even more weird because this person thinks people can't be MPDG yet I'm like that. I appreciate your video and it helped me see that the original video might have been posted by a neuro-typical person.
21:02 I lucked out on that one. Married my high school sweetheart, and 15 years later we find out we’re both high-masking autistic. Probably explains at least some of why our communication is so good. We’re both pretty blunt, and neither of us assume the other is going to pick up on ‘subtle hints’. So like, we just use our words
Amazing video !! I was often called "quirky" or a "free spirit" before I transitioned; I was very feminine so my neurodivergent traits were passed off as me being young (infantilism) or cutesy even if I did things that were considered "rude". I genuinely identified with the "MPDG" stereotype. After I transitioned in college, those same traits are seen as weird, nonsensical, even creepy (literally just the manic part of the MPDG...) because I present as more masculine. Unmasking has been a difficult process but I feel more like myself despite that.
I'm so glad you get to live your truth. I definitely think gender plays a large role in how MPDG traits are perceived by others, so thank you for adding your perspective😊
12:55 it’s a certain kind of fun when people make this assumption, and ask me for my perspective… and then they get hit by ‘free will doesn’t exist, and there is no meaning to life beyond what we choose to give it’. They’re so disappointed.
And can we talk about how the Manic Pixie Dream Girl has to be stereotypically pretty (I even think of a specific ethnic group) for her to be appealing to the male gaze
i read the title and agreed immediately!! such a good video and very interesting idea - im so happy to have found your channel :)) ALSO I HAVE A BLACK CAT THAT LOOKS LIKE YOURS AND I WAS LIKE OMG COULD THIS VIDEO GET ANY BETTER HEHE
Im a autistic woman that received diagnosis as an adult, and when I was younger I identified so much with Summer from “500 days of summer” and I always understood first her side instead of Tom’s side, because that was what happened in many relationships of mine.
The boys met me, were amazed that my interests aligned more with male interests.
They thought I was the woman of his dreams, but then they discovered that I had difficulty with intimacy and couldn't reciprocate that feeling the way they imagined a girl should feel.
So I ended up having to break up and they get mad at me for being heartless or a horrible person.
yesssss 15:11 my delayed processing can honestly take anywhere from 1-4 years when it comes to relationships, mainly because of my alexithymia and disassociation but once I realized this I've been working a lot on this and im in a better place now
I don't think aspiring to be like a manic pixie dream girl is always a bad thing. Maybe I'm biased, but I, as somebody who doesn't know if they're autistic but has several autistic friends who at least believe I'm not neurotypical, always wished growing up that I could be as unapologetically myself as these characters and actually be liked by the people around me. That eventually shifted to simply prioritizing doing what makes me happy and choosing to have faith that people who like who I really am will come on their own, but it is still partly because of MPDG type characters that I decided this was important to me.
I won't argue that treating somebody as if they only exist to help you along your own journey the way people do with manic pixie dream girls is deeply dehumanizing and just generally not okay, because that's just a fact. It isn't okay to do that to anybody. I guess I just don't think writing off this character archetype completely is a good thing, because there are legitimately people who are like them and/or see parts of themselves in them. It's the treatment of them, both irl and in the media they appear in, that's really the issue here, and not necessarily the characters themselves.
(Side note: I'd also argue that a MPDG character can be an example of what unmasking can do for autistic women. The process itself isn't easy, and the problems of life don't magically disappear, but I think a lot of these characters do show the kind of freedom and ability to advocate for yourself that comes with unmasking, which is a really good thing.)
I totally agree. I think this topic is super nuanced, so one video definitely doesn't really cover all the ways the MPDG can be harmful and helpful. I think most tropes in movies and tv can be done with more care for the way they can perpetuate certain stereotypes by giving them depth and new perspectives to consider. Thanks for pointing this out. It gives me more to think about if i make more content regarding the subject.
There is also an eating disorder shortened ARFID that is very common in autistic people, and is about having strong more or less fear-based inner reluctance towards some foods. It's not about being childish. Many foods are just too much for many autistics to handle, like for me. Also, we might have strong traumatic past with being forced to eat things we don't want to, which does not help. - For me, there are foods which I can eat, and foods which I cannot. I just throw up immediately if I have to eat something like that. I can force myself to get them down obviously, but that is basically torture.
Yes, I've heard of ARFID. I'm glad you mentioned it. It definitely needs more attention because it gets infantilized, like you said.
omg kitty in the background at 19:00 is so cute :3
Thank you. His name is Patch🥰
I was thinking on that trope in a context of disorder but I thought whether it could be a bipolar in manic phase?
I definitely think that could be the case for some characters. I think a lot of *neurodivergent traits overlap to the point that they can manifest similarly. Obviously, in media, we don't have the full context to know what the character may be dealing with long term. Like fast talking may be because an autistic person is talking about a special interest. On the other hand, those with bipolar disorder might also talk quickly during a manic episode.
*I know there are no specific traits exclusive to neurodivergency just that many overlap*
We all become characters of ourselves