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Sexually Frustrated In A Sexless Marriage | Paul Friedman
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- Опубликовано: 9 янв 2020
- Feeling sexually frustrated in marriage, or living in a sexless marriage is a huge challenge. But the problem is not the lack of sex, and the solution is not more sex. There's a better way to get the fulfillment you are seeking in your marriage. Solve the lack of fulfillment problem and the issues of sex will solve themselves.
Let's be very clear, this is not a simple topic and there are layers. I don't think I'm going to get into all of the layers, but I want to give you enough of an explanation so that you
have a starting point with which to literally change your life.
We're going to start with the problem.
The problem is not a lack of sexuality. The problem is not the sexless marriage.
The problem is that we are educated to see sex as an ultimate experience and if you think about that it's actually kind of weird because biologically, which is what sex is, it's a tool for procreation. But what happens, because we're souls and we're in an animal body, rather than realizing ourselves as souls, or love, what we end up doing is using the love as a permission slip to have recreational sex.
Think about that. In other words, people say, "Well, I don't want to have sex unless
I'm with my spouse or the person I'm going to marry."
These are moral people who do that, but what they're really saying is I'm not going to have sex unless...
What they're not saying is I want to use sex to express my unconditional love and loyalty to the one person whom I choose to be with the rest of my life.
Think about the difference here. It's really a night and day difference. There's no overlap here.
Recreational sex is a disconnect from who you are as a soul.
Look -- you are a soul, and if you didn't have a human body you'd be formless. It's spirit, it's love.
You, a soul are love but we're here in this dimension you might say, and we're still souls and we're frustrated. We want to express this love. We want to experience unconditional love which is the innate quality of the soul.
I'm going to digress here, but it's really important.
You got married pretty much to be happier than you thought you would have been. That's why we get married, we want happiness.
Then the next question is, what brings happiness? What is it about marriage that
brings happiness?
I explored all of this when I began healing marriages after being a divorce mediator for a long
period of time. I want to know why aren't these people completing their marriages.
Why aren't they experiencing marriage? I looked into it and I said, "Well, why do
people get married at all?" And the answer is always to be happier and so then you
have to ask, well what is universally going to bring happiness to an individual?
It isn't money. It isn't family. It isn't kids. It's not cars. It's not anything material.
It's love.
Now we're starting to get close to sex because again, people equate sex and love
which if you think about it is preposterous.
Now we're getting to the answer of how to change everything. You should recognize that sex
can become a medium or a vehicle for you to achieve love.
So instead of seeing sex as a tool for self gratification, or mutual gratification for that matter, see sex as a tool for spiritually opening up your heart.
This is very different. We're not taught this. You should use sex in order to convey your heart's love to your partner. That's what's so deep about this and that's what's so frustrating for people. Because when people end up getting married and they live together, they expect sex and connection. And what does that connection mean?
They just expect a connection between each other at the level of the soul
or heart.
How do you get there from here?
The problem is your marriage is sexless and you're not feeling gratified, you're not
experiencing what you believe you should experience.
I'm going to tell you how you do it.
Watch the video for more.
#frustrated #marriageproblems #marriagecounseling
#marriageexpectation #frustratedwoman #unconditionallove
Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
As a healthy, completely functioning male; I have always found sex in a union, to be a powerful motivator.
I started a new life with a new wife and sex died, now I feel as if I am too. Four of more sexless years later, I have become like a cut cat, fat and feeling useless, I have lost so much joy and there is nothing to replace the lost love hormones, I tend to be moody and though I love life, it becomes filled with internal strife.
I want my life back but it has become a taboo subject to mention these things to my "housemate".
I love the femininity of woman as a man, there are no other options, not even self gratification. I do not know what to do.
I suggest you take an objective look at your situation, as nobody but you can do so. See if you are the cause of her disinterest and if so make changes. If there is nothing you can do to help move toward physical intimacy be objective about your options such as will be influenced If you were caught off-guard by deceit (as in pre-meditated) for instance.
If there is nothing you can do for whatever reasons and the relationship will remain then you can always gain control over your mind to become happy in other ways. Despondency should never be an option for a person. You CAN do something to be happy.
You are good man to accept her debilitation without looking for the exit. One client was in a similar situation but worse because he discovered that his wife was clinically mentally ill only after 2 years of marriage. She hid it from him. He chose to use the course for men, particularly the first section that deals with the mind, to use his challenges as a spur to grow. The results of his determination were incredible. I never saw anyone grow as much or as fast as he did.
The course for men is truly ideal themarriagefoundation.org/system/
Thank you 🙏🏼