What is Stopping You From Marriage? Live Q and A

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024

Комментарии • 39

  • @THMStudycards
    @THMStudycards 9 дней назад +4

    Assalamualaikum brother Gabriel the content you are providing is top quality insha'Allah the shadow ban goes away as this is genuinely helpful

  • @abdourahmanjobarteh512
    @abdourahmanjobarteh512 10 дней назад +3

    Mine is Financial

  • @aksoA67
    @aksoA67 День назад

    18:55 Mohammed PBUH if I’m not mistaken never actually got divorced, that shouldn’t take away the stigma! Allah made it halal and have it a whole chapter in the Quran but I just wanted to clarify that. I could be mistaken. Allah knows best.

  • @phoenixknight8837
    @phoenixknight8837 9 дней назад

    جَزَاكَ ٱللَّٰهُ خَيْرًا

  • @lightningxx2213
    @lightningxx2213 10 дней назад +5

    What puts me off is fear of ending up with someone whos negligent, cruel, unkind/harsh with speech or manner and/or a hypocrite. It becomes a partnership of enmity rather than love, and it scares me to put myself in that for life potentially

    • @Rayanelmouridi
      @Rayanelmouridi 9 дней назад +5

      Pray for a rightous partner and follow a good vetting process. If you still have fear its from the shaytaan and you need to ignore that and increase your tawakkul

    • @lightningxx2213
      @lightningxx2213 9 дней назад

      @@Rayanelmouridijazak allah khair. Ur right brother

    • @Rayanelmouridi
      @Rayanelmouridi 9 дней назад +1

      @@lightningxx2213Wa iyyak

    • @Lasagna-z8w
      @Lasagna-z8w 2 дня назад

      Yes please becarful don't be a victim of what happened to me I am revert sister. Vent him

  • @TowardsTruth191
    @TowardsTruth191 9 дней назад +1

    I’m not getting married because I am not an attractive person, my personality is a bit on the weird side, and I fear ending up with a total unhinged man.
    I don’t know the basic skills that mother and family never decided to teach me.
    I’ve graduated from school, but failing in college as I’ve found myself to be a non-functional / non-productive kind of maiden.
    Additionally, I have a gaming addiction, with online Muslim sisters who I talk to every now and then, but I find relativity in non-Muslims more than the muslim sisters.
    I am depressed and I feel lonely, because all that seems to be something I excel in is having a kind personality, and a care for the religion of god, but I have no aid and support to help me be strong.
    I hear a lot about “not to marry because of sins” and “not to marry if you’ll (change) and become committed to the religion after marriage”
    So what’s the point?
    I’m not too feminine either, I lack in it, but I try to avoid being masculine. And I’m poor in many categories. And worst is that I’ve been this way since I was a teenager, since middle school, and high school.
    Every girl took care of herself but I didn’t know how to make myself shine, besides, they’re only doing it because it’s sexually appealing. Why should I take those girls who aren’t being purposeful in their beauty as subjects to competition?
    Well, either way, men want a woman who knows how to be a shepherd in her house, and one who cares forherself and knows how to look good and beautiful and appealing.
    I won’t fulfill a man in that part.
    Not even piety. Not heritage, not money.
    I’m reaching mid-twenties, and I feel far too hopeless as everyone is studying and learning all kinds of things. But, I don’t feel like learning is necessary but I want to learn though hate the process as it takes a lot of time, and that time should’ve been in my school years instead of my mid twenties.
    No body cared, still no body does.
    My hairline’s receding from excess hair-fall from stress, and my mental health and body is down.
    Why I can’t marry? Here’s my first three reasons.
    I’m greatly sinful, I’m a failure, and I’m ugly!
    I’ve grown a resentment towards all the sexual sisters who do zina by face, voice, and body(movement and touch) cause they never aid the sisters in need of them by confining the competitive atmosphere to marriage vetting only, they don’t care how men need help with desires too, and I resent any woman who shows beautifications in garment and body. And, I find no hope in finding a man who hates zina, and hates makeup, and admires naturality. It’s only those pious men who can become that, and I am not pious enough to marry a righteous man.
    No one deserves someone like me.
    I’m not ready, not prepared, and I hate it so much, and I fear getting married at the end of my femininity, 30’s-40’s. When I have no beauty at all.
    Can you men and women stop saying we age like milk? It hurts me. It hurts me so much. Stop it. It’s ill mannered.
    Atleast what I’ve learned, is that people treat you differently when you’re unattractive, and show more kindness to beautiful and open and happy and talkative women. Men would give them benefits because of that too, so at least, my unattractiveness is a filter to all the chaos I’ve avoided by his majesty’s will, what Allah سبحانه و تعالى has protected me from.
    It disturbs me when people judge me purely basing their opinion on sexual prowess. I don’t receive any compliments on looks, just hardly anyway, and I’m not an object to satisfy desires. And only a few deserve it. Family, and a righteous husband.

    • @humptydumty4975
      @humptydumty4975 9 дней назад +4

      Sadly has human being we become Ower Owen worse enemy. I wish we'll and hope you get better from one who has metal health issues too. Say my daily pray have help me a lot

    • @taimurahmad
      @taimurahmad 9 дней назад +7

      then start becoming righteous now InshaAllah. start with learning correct aqeedah and you will go high InshaAllah. I have a playlist under playlist section called kitaab at tawheed, you cn start from there. May Allah make it easy for all muslims.

    • @amirhussain7748
      @amirhussain7748 9 дней назад +3

      its okay not to be or feel so feminine, being with a good man brings that side out of the female, femininity in the past was also taught and refined as a skill, so you don't have to be harsh on that side. besides men generally just like the feeling of the girl relying on him and asking him questions acting clueless. (or even to crack the girls shell).
      when you learn about Allah, you start loving Allah, and when you love Allah, you get a strong desire to beautify your 'character' more, just the small habits and hygiene. that's ultimately the best key👌🐢. start with Allah's sake

    • @mohamedmouallem9721
      @mohamedmouallem9721 6 дней назад +4

      May Allah make it easy for you sister.

    • @Whitefullmoon
      @Whitefullmoon 4 дня назад +2

      @towardstruth191 Asalamu alaykum, I can imagine that what you are going through doesn't feel easy to deal with. Please hear me out till the end when I say this: I felt sad reading your text, but it's not that I pity you or anything. Rather I felt sad, because it sounds like a big challenge. Because it sounded as if you didn't believe, that you would overcome your struggles. As if you were trapped in whatever weighs heavy on your chest right now. As if you had already failed. I hope I am not making assumptions, if so please forgive me for that. But in any case: Know, that you are definetly not alone with those struggles. And know that you don't stop having a purpose in this dunya, just because you find yourself confronted with these challenges. Your purpose hasn't ended no matter how you might feel about yourself or others. Allah knows. And regardless of what happened in the past we don't know our future. So why would we think that our struggles keep going on in the future? Why would we think that the ease is not coming? We have no proof to say that the difficulty will last. And Allah has power over all things. He only says : "Be" and it is. So if He wants to take all the grief away, He can do that immeadiately. He is the One, and the only One who can guide us and help us truly.
      And as an unmah we need to support each other. So if you would like to talk to a sister, please don't hesitate to comment again. May Allah relieve you of all the mental health struggles. May He give you better than what you ever imagined - the best in the dunya and in the Akhira. May Allah always help us to have good thoughts about Him and expect the best from Him and may He grant the entire ummah relief from suffering and provide us all with the best, ameen.

  • @malekragad8013
    @malekragad8013 2 дня назад +1

    Assalamu Alaykum, Tell me where and how to find a woman in Osnabrück Germany or a place in Europe so I can get married? There is no community, mosques do not help in this as it brings them more issues that they cannot solve as they say. Sometimes the Imams or the people responsible of the mosque feel offended when you ask them help and they get more jealous on the women praying in the mosque and they look down to your intention. As if it is haram. I somehow can understand that and relate, culturally, The best way to find a wife is to let the women do the arrangements. But unfortunately I got no women in my life to help me I am a A lonely Jordanian&Romanian man with no family and new to the city and have no family ties in Jordan.
    Make Duaa for me, all lonely men and women that we be guided, fixed and blessed with the good things in Dunya and Akhira.

  • @sabrhaishukr
    @sabrhaishukr 10 дней назад

    Financial expectations

  • @hefrazend8160
    @hefrazend8160 10 дней назад

    I have knowledges about marriage and mental fortitude but now i'm in my financial journey..

  • @sarahnovella4971
    @sarahnovella4971 10 дней назад +2

    for me, men being so obsessed with controlling/obeying them is the reason lol
    such a turn off
    especially if they're not that smart but somehow all the important decisions is up to them. and your life also gonna be dependent on that said decisions.
    imagine having to 'obey' someone like that 😂 nightmare lulz
    cherry on the cake when they're emotionally immature and have anger issues which gonna make them abusive/borderline abusive. andddddd being obsess with the 'obey me' trope..
    worstttt nightmare

    • @wintersn899
      @wintersn899 10 дней назад +1

      How do you know every man is like that ? Of course that’s what written in the Quran but at the end of the day a marriage is like a football team with two managers, you gotta agree the strategies together put your discord aside and communicate in order to make the team successful, Obey is a big word especially used in the West when talking about our women, and because you follow their way of portraying life in marriage you feel like this. Everyone obeys someone whether it’s your parents your partner, Allah, your boss, the law or someone else. Stop thinking freedom exists and if you want to make decisions in your marriage start by putting aside your ego of hatred towards men

    • @wintersn899
      @wintersn899 10 дней назад

      What liberal feminism presented as emancipation has proven to be a tremendous opportunity for capitalism. By massively integrating women into the labor market, the economic system has been able to double the available labor force, compress wages, and maximize profits. However, this dynamic has occurred to the detriment of the maternal role, which is now nothing more than a burden incompatible with the demands of professional success. This double alienation-working like a man and giving birth like a mother-leads many women to give up motherhood or to postpone it beyond the optimal biological window. And don’t think that this problem does not affect the Muslim community…
      There is also the problem of the anxiety-provoking weight of boundless freedom.
      The suppression of collective norms in the name of individual freedom plunges individuals into an ocean of choices, but without a compass. In a world where any commitment becomes a rational calculation, starting a family no longer appears as a cultural obviousness but as one option among others. This proliferation of choices, far from liberating, paralyzes: each decision is postponed indefinitely, and parenthood is often sacrificed on the altar of a career or an individualistic ideal.
      This anthropological crisis is also characterized by a visceral hostility towards structures deemed “oppressive”: religion, community, nation, family. These institutions provided individuals with symbolic frameworks and a transcendental meaning. By destroying them, liberalism has left the individual alone to face the absurd, devoid of reference points. Parenthood, stripped of its place in a cultural or historical continuity, turns into a simple functional task, emptied of its sacred dimension.
      By turning its back on any responsibility towards future generations, liberal society signs its own death warrant. The problem does not lie in an instinctive rejection of parenthood, but in the systematic destruction of the cultural, material and psychological conditions necessary to calmly consider welcoming offspring. A civilization that is unable to project itself into the future is a civilization that abdicates its own reason for being.

    • @fahimarasheed4699
      @fahimarasheed4699 День назад

      ​@@wintersn899 Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to assess a narcissistic man for marriage especially if she is young and a virgin. A few years into the marriage she will get the shock of realization of whom she married. By the time she realizes his true personality she already has children and will try to make the marriage work , under his controlling, emotionally abusive and immature ways. It happens.

    • @wintersn899
      @wintersn899 День назад

      @fatimarasheed4699 you know, women nowadays, create narcissistic man I’m talking on personal experience, because when you’re a guy that’s young and has the means to get married and you start looking and trying to talk to people and being kind and being all of this open honest communicative and optimistic for life and you want to give love and support to that person but every time you seek someone you find that you’re just being played with, I don’t know how many times did I find someone she said she is ready and she wants to get married but when you start talking to her and spend a few weeks, trying to get to know her or even a few days they reject you blatantly or they play with your feelings. You say this like narcissistic men are born like this.

  • @humptydumty4975
    @humptydumty4975 9 дней назад

    Well we're should we start 1.shopping list too long. 2 no realistic on the real world thinking Muslim visions of Bill Gates will marry then. 3 thy not interested in a man that work in a minimum wages must have car Owen his owns house no renting. 4.can not cook lol. Lol the irony that my list😂

  • @Foralluhaterz
    @Foralluhaterz 10 дней назад +4

    As a young single man in the west, I dont see any benefits of marrying.
    Rather I will work on myself and stay in the worship of Allah.
    Remaining single away from stress snd headache is the best thing to be honest. Marriage is sunnah but the state of the ummah today, there's priority of marriage. What is wrong with being single and celibate?

    • @tatooinenative860
      @tatooinenative860 10 дней назад +10

      It goes against your fitrah and hurts you physically and psychologically. At the very least try to find a good wife and don’t give up.

    • @Foralluhaterz
      @Foralluhaterz 10 дней назад +1

      @tatooinenative860 found many women but no wife's and Ive accepted its okay not to. Seeing many dudes unhappy and stressed who've aged alot in marriage too puts me off.
      Honestly, being single is the best brother.
      Also if a young man like myself can remain pure then why can't a woman, but majority aren't and ot is definitely another reason not to marry

    • @tatooinenative860
      @tatooinenative860 10 дней назад +6

      @@Foralluhaterz there are many men who are happy in their marriages, but people usually explain their situations online/irl when they have an issue and they seldom talk about their lives when they are having a good time. just because you dont hear about happy marriages as much as you hear about negative ones doesnt mean the good ones dont exist.
      being single isnt the best with our fitrah and with all the fitnah going around. protect yourself and take care of yourself and get married if you can insha Allah. dont give up on that. you lose nothing by trying to benefit yourself.

    • @zakariyahmohammadzakiruddi8568
      @zakariyahmohammadzakiruddi8568 10 дней назад +6

      I agree, but being all alone all your life is a misery. You naturally wud desire a life partner, it's how we have been created. I had the same opinion as you, but then everyone around me were married off and I had no friends eventually. U are strong sided in being single, but in the future u may meet the one, and later down in life u will regret not marrying earlier

    • @marcscherzer
      @marcscherzer 10 дней назад +3

      It was narrated from Aishah that:
      the Messenger of Allah said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.”
      حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الأَزْهَرِ، حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ "‏ النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي وَتَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
      Sunan Ibn Majah 1846
      sunnah.com/ibnmajah:1846