And the thing is, being an introvert is completely fine. It’s not something you should try to change or work on, it just mean you gain energy from spending time inside your mind. The problem comes when you are hiding who you are or what you want to say because you feel insecure. Introvert ≠ socially anxious
@@johnsmith-vu3svAmerica is designed for Extraverts. It highly depends on where you’re at. Like in Japan they prize introverts over extraverts for example!
The best piece my dad (a pastor) told me when it comes to making conversation in a group setting is that you don't have to talk to fill air. Even a fool is considered wise when he is silent.
you are helping me so much, because I'm in the middle of my journey. How you describe your old self is how I'd describe mine and how you think now is how I want to think automatically one day
I really like the point you made about how we often base ourselves on what we consume online. There’s too much information bombarding us nowadays and need to take time to be alone with our own thoughts and introspect a little. Journaling is pretty good for this!
Thanks for making this video, Christina! I'm autistic, so the "getting certain parts of my personality from tv show characters," bit really resonated with me. For as long as I can remember, the really outgoing, over-the-top, and quirky characters were the ones that I strived to be in every conversation. But now, I don't always feel the want or need to be the center of attention and I'm okay with letting things play out and only jumping in when I want to.
True I get that like I feel like most of us know we can be as social/extroverted as xyz if we really tried like literally “acting” it but we’re too scared to be vulnerable or maybe just me
loved the point you made about inserting little points about ourselves into conversation for US, not for others. i think a lot of us seem to be hyper fixated on what other people think about us, which leads us down that spiral of wanting to "say the right things" to please other people. people need to realize that they need to start putting themselves first (not in a narcissistic way, though) rather than trying to gain the approval from everyone -- because gaining the approval of EVERY person is simply an impossible task. and little by little, we become more confident as a result of not mending to the wishes of other people. also a little side note, a lot of the points you covered in this video remind me of a book called "the courage to be disliked." i highly recommend it to anyone who wants to ditch the toxic mindset of trying to be liked by everyone!
I love the way you formulated this video and honestly, kid me would've benefited so much from this so i appreciate you putting this out for everyone who needs it. That's not to say i didn't benefit from it in my current form, i related to it with past experiences and honestly it helped me realize how long of a way I've come. I used to write myself topic points before going into conversations after all..but thankfully I'm no longer in that mindset at all.
you seem like such a fun person to be around, I would love to be friends with you :) thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable and speaking about your past experiences and how you’ve overcome your struggles :) that actually gives me so much hope that I can achieve that confidence and feel a lot better about myself too :) I really appreciate you, keep up the great work and love from Germany
2:50 I get that I was put in a group with the most confident/extroverted girls in my grade (imo) and I didn’t say anything at all. Maybe one thing if they asked me but really nothing and we were supposed to be having a debate. Honestly, I should’ve just said my opinion since I know they’re just humans and they’re not gonna ridicule me for speaking but I also didn’t know any of the topic
How do you deal with goodbyes? I feel like when I finally start getting closer to somebody, something usually comes up and they have to go elsewhere whether it’s for college, work, etc. I’m always happy for them because they get to achieve their goals in life but I also can’t help but to feel sad/lonely. I know you can always reach out to them online but it’s just not the same.
I'm in the process of discovering myself, and unlearning certain beliefs I had about me, your video is of great help, it made me feel better about myself, we don't need to be extroverted or the person who speaks the most but to be ourselves ❤
oh my gosh this was something i always struggled with, like i don’t want to hide my personality, but if i were to be myself what would i act like?? i thought i would never find the answer or someone who experienced the same thing!!you’re so underrated!! you deserve so many more subs
thank you so much for all your advice! it's helped me so incredibly much 🥹 a few months ago i started suddenly getting invited to lots of partys (from a party a year it went to a party a week) but i would always feel super akward and like nobody wanted to talk to me. Last week, tho, i watched a ton of your videos and implemented everything i could remember this saturday and let me say, it was the best party i ever went to. i talked to a whole ton of people and danced a lot more than i'm usually comfortable with even though i barely drank. x
Thank you very much for this video! Stressing about having nothing to say in a group of people is something I was struggling with for a long time but I didn’t realize it was just performing and not being stupid or interesting enough. Also the thing you’ve said about basing our personality on the media we consume was very much on point. I feel so much better with myself now
I never felt more understood thanks you so much you’re Videos are so relatable they help with my confusion thanks love ur content . And for everyone this all needs time too rebuild so don’t put pressure on yourself slowly slowly
this might help! ruclips.net/video/GlYQLY4idbo/видео.htmlsi=jsL-HPQLWY7P0nPw but i am indeed planning a video in July on 'how to start a conversation with anyone' stay tuned!
I used to be called "too much". I used to be an alcoholic to compensate for my lack of social skills. Either too much or not enough. Never knowing the right thing too say. I got diagnosed with autism and since then I err on the side of not talking as much, not going out. I figure the people who called me annoying and "too much" were probably right. It's really hard to feel like I'm not overwhelming or bothering people, I have a lot of things to say actually but I worry about saying the wrong things and accidentally annoying people.
I really felt understood here but l also understand myself better now as well. I love the journaling idea, would be quiet nice if you share more prompts and ideas on that aspect ✨ love your videos,keep shining ✨✨✨
i love your channel so much. I've been trying to work on this but I didn't really know where to even start. You've really given me a guideline to finally be myself again
this video is so well done and comes across genuinely. i’ve comforted myself with/ thought about many of the ideas you talk about and hearing someone else say them eloquently was really affirming and encouraging. thank you!
I do this but more with code switching at work- can’t lie there are certain parts of my personality that would act’ be long to explain in white spaces .
I really like the way you talking. And the themes what you're talking about. Your videos helps me to understand myself better and improve the language. And also I really like the editing! Looking forward to your new videos! Hi from Russia!
Being autistic is so hard. I have no idea if I will be hated becuase I said something. It's like walking on tight rope. Maybe I will fall or maybe I won't. I have no idea what will trigger people so I just keep everything to myself and year after year I say less because someone didn't like a thing I said.
Yes, like what if everyone thinks that I am not interesting because I think I am not interesting and I cannot stop thinking that I am not interesting because my energy just instantly goes away when I try to start talking because I am so scared that I get triggered and the down spiral begins and the voice in my head makes me feel like the biggest insecure failure and that hurts but when I don't do anything I will die without friends and I actually love people
@@aycalislotteblack9523 no fr this scares me so much like I want to try and see what would happen if I acted how I would normally on myself but I'm like so scared that people jus wont like that so I act so over the top and over share to try and like cover up the fact that maybe I am jus like a dry person maybe and that scares me so much
Then that’s a them Problem, people sense it if you don’t like yourself, so When your think your are awkward then you are gonna act like that an people think you are akward, your thoughts are self fulfilling prophecy’s. The key is to be your own Cheerleader, like other people don’t have the right tonjudge since they don’t know your whole story. It’s a process and I know you are going to slay that. I love you :)
not everyone is gonna like you. some people will even if it's very few. think about it. if you act like someone else and you attract people, do you even like the people you are attracting?
I've just moved to a new country 2 months back,and for some reason i just cant make frnds. Ye sure ppl have small 1min chats with me but that's it and i really do hope i make a good friend
hey christina you are beautiful your content is amazing u need to add KeyPoint's through the captions and bit color grade video is bit off and add minimalist background music and few transitions its more appealing and reach more audience just an observation If you require video editor, I'm happy to edit your first video without charge.
12:13 do you have any advice for those who feel like they've been picked on for the sexuality by other males. My whole life ive been so afraid to talk or even interact with guys in fear of seeming less masculine than them.
It just kinda seems like on the few times when I have been passionate about something and didn't care about what people thought it kills the conversation after I give my thoughts
Though I for sure need to let go of my insecurities and stop holding back the things I want to say. After I do that then I can assess again if I really am boring.
@@bufo2161 It's not bad to "kill" the conversation though if you actually did that. That just means you are very interested in something and they have nothing to say to it.
What do u mean ur a extrovertted now? So ur not introverted anymore?😅 How to find ur friendshio group if there are no people around? Only toxic people and people who are already in friendship groups aren't interested And how do u not copy the things u like about others 😮💨😮💨 what if there's nothing left if u don't perform like I don't know what to say and don't know what to think!?
Girl, I really like your videos, you’re super outstanding🤩, but this sound in the very beginning and sometimes in the video (I hope you know what I mean), it’s super triggering, so If you could somehow get rid of that or change it to something else would be a game changer in your videos 🥳 Definitely not hate!!! I love your videos so much, just noticed that I can’t focus on the video when I hear it repeatedly 😅 If I’m not the only one, please like this comment))) there’s this sound 0:23, 0:50
Hey, I understand where you are coming from but it's a little bit unkind to just assume she can 'just buy a mic' we never truly know someone financial situation. But maybe you should check your speakers because the audio in my ears was incredible, I could hear her really clearly. I understand you were coming from a place of love, but maybe just try to consider her situation might not be as expansive. No hard feelings btw, I assume your a kind person ❤
@RickyDubose-lc2bq Hi you right , I'm sorry i don't try to be mean , she's so good at making videos and with more quality she could progress even more.. i just want to let her know if she can't buy a mic she can enhance audio with ai for free like adobe podcast thank you and I'm sorry again , next time i try to choose my words kindly ❤️
@@Ghazaalina Its alright!! Dw, I could tell you were obviously a sweet person and I totally get the frustration of when a video's audio sucks. I sometimes make the same mistake too. You're all good, don't stress too much about. ❤
this video came out a perfect time bc i was just at a party where i wasn’t really familiar with anyone there + no one was talking about anything i was particularly interested in + i really wasn’t being asked any questions either, but I felt like i wasn’t talking enough. but this validated me that: i spoke about as much as i wanted to, and i was being as authentic as i wanted to be in that moment, even if i wasn’t as “bubbly” as i am when i’m super comfortable and engaged 🤷🏾♀️🩷
i love your videos 💓 this video was absolutely amazing in so many ways. you hit so many points and described them perfectly! middle school- high school me would have loved this video and clicked on it immediately 🩷
I love your videos so much!!! I’m so thankful I really appreciate stumbling into your channel because I’ve been looking for answers for all these things for years and here you are telling me everything 🩷 thank you
And the thing is, being an introvert is completely fine. It’s not something you should try to change or work on, it just mean you gain energy from spending time inside your mind. The problem comes when you are hiding who you are or what you want to say because you feel insecure. Introvert ≠ socially anxious
You make no sense 😂🤣
Nah being an introvert sucks cuz the world is designed for extroverts
@@johnsmith-vu3svAmerica is designed for Extraverts. It highly depends on where you’re at. Like in Japan they prize introverts over extraverts for example!
@@johnsmith-vu3sv I mean kinda, but still, it’s a personality trait not something you have to fix
this x1000
The best piece my dad (a pastor) told me when it comes to making conversation in a group setting is that you don't have to talk to fill air. Even a fool is considered wise when he is silent.
haha this is good... and made me laugh 🤣
Sometimes it’s better not to say nothing than say something stupid
real😭😭
stop that’s so real 💀😭
fr 🤣
Being comfortable with pauses of silence is a game changer,dont feel obliged to say something to be valued.
I love the slow and steady way. I feel like we're pressured nowdays to change life overnight because people expect us to do so.
ikr it's exhausting
This
you are helping me so much, because I'm in the middle of my journey. How you describe your old self is how I'd describe mine and how you think now is how I want to think automatically one day
I'm with you! I hope we can both get there one day
Same here
Same!!
if i can do it so can u 🥹
I really like the point you made about how we often base ourselves on what we consume online. There’s too much information bombarding us nowadays and need to take time to be alone with our own thoughts and introspect a little. Journaling is pretty good for this!
yes! it can be suffocating at times, need a detox every now and then
Thanks for making this video, Christina! I'm autistic, so the "getting certain parts of my personality from tv show characters," bit really resonated with me. For as long as I can remember, the really outgoing, over-the-top, and quirky characters were the ones that I strived to be in every conversation. But now, I don't always feel the want or need to be the center of attention and I'm okay with letting things play out and only jumping in when I want to.
absolutely! sometimes it feels like we aren't cool enough so have to adopt habits from others but i'm excited for you to embrace you more 🥹
True I get that like I feel like most of us know we can be as social/extroverted as xyz if we really tried like literally “acting” it but we’re too scared to be vulnerable
or maybe just me
Definitely not just you, it takes time,
loved the point you made about inserting little points about ourselves into conversation for US, not for others. i think a lot of us seem to be hyper fixated on what other people think about us, which leads us down that spiral of wanting to "say the right things" to please other people. people need to realize that they need to start putting themselves first (not in a narcissistic way, though) rather than trying to gain the approval from everyone -- because gaining the approval of EVERY person is simply an impossible task. and little by little, we become more confident as a result of not mending to the wishes of other people.
also a little side note, a lot of the points you covered in this video remind me of a book called "the courage to be disliked." i highly recommend it to anyone who wants to ditch the toxic mindset of trying to be liked by everyone!
I love the way you formulated this video and honestly, kid me would've benefited so much from this so i appreciate you putting this out for everyone who needs it. That's not to say i didn't benefit from it in my current form, i related to it with past experiences and honestly it helped me realize how long of a way I've come. I used to write myself topic points before going into conversations after all..but thankfully I'm no longer in that mindset at all.
i'm so glad this resonated !
you seem like such a fun person to be around, I would love to be friends with you :) thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable and speaking about your past experiences and how you’ve overcome your struggles :) that actually gives me so much hope that I can achieve that confidence and feel a lot better about myself too :) I really appreciate you, keep up the great work and love from Germany
2:50 I get that I was put in a group with the most confident/extroverted girls in my grade (imo) and I didn’t say anything at all. Maybe one thing if they asked me but really nothing and we were supposed to be having a debate.
Honestly, I should’ve just said my opinion since I know they’re just humans and they’re not gonna ridicule me for speaking but I also didn’t know any of the topic
Felt this 😔. I need to be more social, kinda getting tired of not talking at all
How do you deal with goodbyes? I feel like when I finally start getting closer to somebody, something usually comes up and they have to go elsewhere whether it’s for college, work, etc.
I’m always happy for them because they get to achieve their goals in life but I also can’t help but to feel sad/lonely. I know you can always reach out to them online but it’s just not the same.
I'm in the process of discovering myself, and unlearning certain beliefs I had about me, your video is of great help, it made me feel better about myself, we don't need to be extroverted or the person who speaks the most but to be ourselves ❤
0:22 your most comfortable persona
A lot of places especially work make you feel like you are a problem if your not a social butterfly 100% of the time
oh my gosh this was something i always struggled with, like i don’t want to hide my personality, but if i were to be myself what would i act like?? i thought i would never find the answer or someone who experienced the same thing!!you’re so underrated!! you deserve so many more subs
Great topic, love that she goes deeper with the underlying issues and not just the kbt approach of fake it til you make it. ❤
thank you so much for all your advice! it's helped me so incredibly much 🥹 a few months ago i started suddenly getting invited to lots of partys (from a party a year it went to a party a week) but i would always feel super akward and like nobody wanted to talk to me. Last week, tho, i watched a ton of your videos and implemented everything i could remember this saturday and let me say, it was the best party i ever went to. i talked to a whole ton of people and danced a lot more than i'm usually comfortable with even though i barely drank. x
Thank you very much for this video! Stressing about having nothing to say in a group of people is something I was struggling with for a long time but I didn’t realize it was just performing and not being stupid or interesting enough. Also the thing you’ve said about basing our personality on the media we consume was very much on point. I feel so much better with myself now
Just found your channel 20 minutes ago and I feel like it was made for me
we were made for each other
I never felt more understood thanks you so much you’re Videos are so relatable they help with my confusion thanks love ur content . And for everyone this all needs time too rebuild so don’t put pressure on yourself slowly slowly
My problem is I don’t know how to start conversations😭😭 and I’m stand-offish in rooms of over 10 people
I believe she has a video on this!
this might help! ruclips.net/video/GlYQLY4idbo/видео.htmlsi=jsL-HPQLWY7P0nPw
but i am indeed planning a video in July on 'how to start a conversation with anyone' stay tuned!
@@ChristinaAaliyah Thank you sm for the link, I wish the best for your channel! Helping out so many young girls!
I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL SM
I used to be called "too much". I used to be an alcoholic to compensate for my lack of social skills. Either too much or not enough. Never knowing the right thing too say. I got diagnosed with autism and since then I err on the side of not talking as much, not going out. I figure the people who called me annoying and "too much" were probably right. It's really hard to feel like I'm not overwhelming or bothering people, I have a lot of things to say actually but I worry about saying the wrong things and accidentally annoying people.
i love when you make me feel more myself more proud more brave and a love you for that lovely girl
you're so welcome 😌
I really felt understood here but l also understand myself better now as well. I love the journaling idea, would be quiet nice if you share more prompts and ideas on that aspect ✨ love your videos,keep shining ✨✨✨
OMG,Only a few minute ago I was watching your videos thinking that you should make a video on this topic.Thank you so much queen😊❤
i love your channel so much. I've been trying to work on this but I didn't really know where to even start. You've really given me a guideline to finally be myself again
this video is so well done and comes across genuinely. i’ve comforted myself with/ thought about many of the ideas you talk about and hearing someone else say them eloquently was really affirming and encouraging. thank you!
I really needed to hear this, thank you.
this video is such a perfect timing, thank you so much
Idk why this video pop but is the best advice I’ve heard thanks
I do this but more with code switching at work- can’t lie there are certain parts of my personality that would act’ be long to explain in white spaces .
This channel might have just changed my life ❤ ty for being you
I really like the way you talking. And the themes what you're talking about. Your videos helps me to understand myself better and improve the language. And also I really like the editing! Looking forward to your new videos! Hi from Russia!
hey mary!! i'm so glad this helped
I appreciate you talking about such an important topic and getting real!!
Great videos thx for sharing and helping many other people who understand! Keep it up!
Girl you just made my social life much simpler❤
Being autistic is so hard. I have no idea if I will be hated becuase I said something. It's like walking on tight rope. Maybe I will fall or maybe I won't. I have no idea what will trigger people so I just keep everything to myself and year after year I say less because someone didn't like a thing I said.
so good! so helpful, thanks girl❤!
thank uu!
Girl, you're a life saver❤
Love your vídeos, there’s so much value in them! 💗 THANK YOU
thank uuu!
Everything you said was so relatable!
Love the vibe of ur channel🙌🏾
damn I got a long commute to work, idk if i can handle the traffic without a podcast LOL
I really feel ur words. thx for the video
I love your approach I subscribed
thanks :)
what if you are yourself but people dont like that
Yes, like what if everyone thinks that I am not interesting because I think I am not interesting and I cannot stop thinking that I am not interesting because my energy just instantly goes away when I try to start talking because I am so scared that I get triggered and the down spiral begins and the voice in my head makes me feel like the biggest insecure failure and that hurts but when I don't do anything I will die without friends and I actually love people
@@aycalislotteblack9523 no fr this scares me so much like I want to try and see what would happen if I acted how I would normally on myself but I'm like so scared that people jus wont like that so I act so over the top and over share to try and like cover up the fact that maybe I am jus like a dry person maybe and that scares me so much
Then that’s a them Problem, people sense it if you don’t like yourself, so When your think your are awkward then you are gonna act like that an people think you are akward, your thoughts are self fulfilling prophecy’s. The key is to be your own Cheerleader, like other people don’t have the right tonjudge since they don’t know your whole story. It’s a process and I know you are going to slay that. I love you :)
@@W4ke. thanks beautiful
not everyone is gonna like you. some people will even if it's very few. think about it. if you act like someone else and you attract people, do you even like the people you are attracting?
I've just moved to a new country 2 months back,and for some reason i just cant make frnds. Ye sure ppl have small 1min chats with me but that's it and i really do hope i make a good friend
basically me every single point was accurate thats crazy, love ur vids
hey twin
hey christina you are beautiful your content is amazing u need to add KeyPoint's through the captions and bit color grade video is bit off and add minimalist background music and few transitions its more appealing and reach more audience just an observation If you require video editor, I'm happy to edit your first video without charge.
21:00 Never happened to me tbh :/ my self image is so broken...
Unnie you are Awesome 🤍🤍
Perfect!
thank you
What if your genuine personality is plain annoying?
12:13 do you have any advice for those who feel like they've been picked on for the sexuality by other males. My whole life ive been so afraid to talk or even interact with guys in fear of seeming less masculine than them.
FOURTH?!? This is so true
I mean what if i've been told im boring multiple times by multiple people?
Well I guess I've always been guarded and never really myself so they are judging a very fake version of myself.
It just kinda seems like on the few times when I have been passionate about something and didn't care about what people thought it kills the conversation after I give my thoughts
Though I for sure need to let go of my insecurities and stop holding back the things I want to say. After I do that then I can assess again if I really am boring.
Free yap for anyone who sees this :p
@@bufo2161 It's not bad to "kill" the conversation though if you actually did that. That just means you are very interested in something and they have nothing to say to it.
What do u mean ur a extrovertted now? So ur not introverted anymore?😅
How to find ur friendshio group if there are no people around? Only toxic people and people who are already in friendship groups aren't interested
And how do u not copy the things u like about others 😮💨😮💨 what if there's nothing left if u don't perform like I don't know what to say and don't know what to think!?
Girl, I really like your videos, you’re super outstanding🤩, but this sound in the very beginning and sometimes in the video (I hope you know what I mean), it’s super triggering, so If you could somehow get rid of that or change it to something else would be a game changer in your videos 🥳 Definitely not hate!!! I love your videos so much, just noticed that I can’t focus on the video when I hear it repeatedly 😅 If I’m not the only one, please like this comment))) there’s this sound 0:23, 0:50
hey, thanks for the feedback! it's called a riser i can cut back on using these :)
SECONDDD HIIIII
second the best 😏
FIRSTTT OMGGGGG
beat me to it 🤣
❤❤❤❤
girl, I really love your videos, but the audio of the video is bad, please buy a mic to make it better or use ai to enhance your audio with love ❤
Hey, I understand where you are coming from but it's a little bit unkind to just assume she can 'just buy a mic' we never truly know someone financial situation. But maybe you should check your speakers because the audio in my ears was incredible, I could hear her really clearly. I understand you were coming from a place of love, but maybe just try to consider her situation might not be as expansive. No hard feelings btw, I assume your a kind person ❤
@RickyDubose-lc2bq Hi you right , I'm sorry i don't try to be mean , she's so good at making videos and with more quality she could progress even more..
i just want to let her know
if she can't buy a mic
she can enhance audio with ai for free like adobe podcast
thank you and I'm sorry again , next time i try to choose my words kindly ❤️
@@Ghazaalina Its alright!! Dw, I could tell you were obviously a sweet person and I totally get the frustration of when a video's audio sucks. I sometimes make the same mistake too. You're all good, don't stress too much about. ❤
this video came out a perfect time bc i was just at a party where i wasn’t really familiar with anyone there + no one was talking about anything i was particularly interested in + i really wasn’t being asked any questions either, but I felt like i wasn’t talking enough.
but this validated me that: i spoke about as much as i wanted to, and i was being as authentic as i wanted to be in that moment, even if i wasn’t as “bubbly” as i am when i’m super comfortable and engaged 🤷🏾♀️🩷
yes!! this >>>
i love your videos 💓 this video was absolutely amazing in so many ways. you hit so many points and described them perfectly!
middle school- high school me would have loved this video and clicked on it immediately 🩷
I love your videos so much!!! I’m so thankful I really appreciate stumbling into your channel because I’ve been looking for answers for all these things for years and here you are telling me everything 🩷 thank you
you're most welcome kittie kat 🩷