I figured it out take the porridge blend it. pour blend into spoon shape freeze the oat spoon. Grind traditional spoon into iron dust. Sprinkle your shiny iron sprinkles into new oats, eat before the frozen ice spoon melts. There we go solution to a task no one asked for LOL 😅 😂😂😂😂😂 (PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT)
If I remember correctly then the cow milking games idea originates from a bunch of 2chan shitposts and it was specifically made for the purpose of entering a bad/cursed game competition in Japan. The translations of the game were all made with google translate and according to a friend of mine that works as a interpreter even the japanese original is purposefully written in a weird and janky way as well as full of gramatical errors. So I wouldn't necessarrily call it a bad game, as it fully succeeds at what it was meant to do.
I mean, it does succeed at being a bad on purpose game, but it doesn’t feel like it’s a so bad it’s good game, it’s kinda like big rigs but wacky in its own way
Was just checking the comments to see if anyone else had pointed that out, I did a double take when I saw him pivot around the model after getting out of the car.
maybe thats the point of the game especially by looking at the title, almost seems like it was trying to be one of those meta games were you escape the mundane cleaning and find all this werid shit beyong the limits of the game
@33:38 so fun fact, the scratch off said you won the 6th prize. However, there was no prize to give for whatever reason, so you were given the message 'missing' right before the game crashed on you.
I'm going to guess that the weird bowl that moves around with you, is the physics actor that's used when carrying a bowl of milk. So basically it would move to where you are when carrying the bowl and teleport there or is called from there when used.
@@eupi9098 That's just my guess, as it moves with the character by tilting and it's in a bowl shape, so they probably got some asset for physics simulations and just kept it over there to be called upon when they pick up the bucket.
@@we_played_Hob_Gobbies_together I wish XD I am trying to make my own game, but I love seeing other Indie games while trying to explain weird things I've noticed within them.
@@we_played_Hob_Gobbies_togetherwe cannot confirm if they are an armchair expert. Thus far they have only displayed expertise with physics-based bowls.
That truck model at 12:45 are Russan GAZ-3302 GAZel, 2nd generation truck variant of a basic GAZ-2705 minivan and it was produced with this outlook in 2003-2010 until being replaced by a 3rd generation which was also rebraneded as "GAZel-Business".
I like to play "what's my favourite glitch?" with these videos, but there were so many this time that I coudn't keep track of them. I've decided to go for the way the game designer in the second game didn't bother to rename the assets, so we have Police_Boy_Slim_1_1, BlueSuitFree01 and Can36.
You should do an annual review of all the bad games you played and then find out which of them was the true worst game on steam, and then see if next year’s games can top it
Wiz, you take me back to the old days in early highschool when I would watch Jim Sterling experience early access hell every week. Thank you for bringing back the chill vibes of youth Edit: Also something about the physics for the milk/liquid didn't sit right with me for some reason...
Unfortunately for things like this, I don't think we can say they truly had passion. A Dev with passion tries to improve and learn. A Dev with passion wouldn't just shit out a game and try to sell it for $10.
You can tell where the asset flipping had to end for the milk game cause that truck looked like a child's drawing with a front windshield/hood like that, all while the other vehicle models actually looked _g o o d_
It's a real truck, they're made in Russia (and are very common here; there are minibuses, selfloader trucks, open beds, fridge vans.. anything exists on this chassis). it's called GAZelle.
@@dgq1940 Okay that's fair, and kinda cool actually I still think they had to make that truck's model and textures from scratch though - second door where it should've been an open space, no depth on like any facet of the main car or trailer, just generally crummy texture quality...
Idk how many years ago I saw it on CMK, but it's crazy how quickly I recognised this game It's art If your car gets stuck you can whack it around with your giant floating phone
As much as I liked goat simulator, it inspired an inconceivable change in game development. So many people just make a crappy game and go "heh, all the broken mechanics are the gameplay"
“Hay you know what the sun looks like I haven’t seen that thing in ages” “Uh yeah I’m pretty sure it’s just a big yellow circle” “Ah gotcha big yellow circle”
Im super excited for your channel! Its blowing up! Keep the good vids. 30 min are perfect. This kind of game is perfect. This was a perfect storm bud damn! Keep up the good work i look forward the the future!
Lovely farmer clothes you got there with your collared button up office shirt, khaki dress pants and dress shoes. Perfect outfit for interacting with large livestock and tromping around in cow pies.
I can already see big things for you in the future. Everytime I get recommended a channel I end up seeing them blow up to millions of followers over the next year. Can’t wait to see how it goes
I think I know the reason why the price of milk increases. I believe its because the farmers keep spilling the milk everywhere. Also the live action menu is kinda creepy feels like it should be part of a horror arg RUclips series.
This doesn't even really sound like text to speech. It's obviously the developer just putting a million filters over his voice. Instead of using a female Japanese tts voice, he just chose to pitch his voice up a million times lmao
The second game is kinda like a Japanese House Flipper Simulator. Hikkikomori (shut ins) are becoming more and more common in Japan and live in that sort of squalor as a regular thing. There is big money in cleanup services. Some Japanese people even volunteer to do it for free.
No one talks about it, but why are we feeding hay to the cows... in summer... after herding them back from the pasture? What does the dev think cows do at the pasture?
If you remove any context, this game actually whips ass. Just a bunch of dope stuff smashed all together. Car stunts, good dog, fresh milk. All awesome stuff
I'm surprised this guy put this games on the market at those price, and revealed his face in the game, considering this is Japan, the country were "clamping your car" means having a yellow tag on your side mirror, and out of pure shame, people pay it rather than drive around with it.
That TV at top volume reminded me of a Nextbot that plays the Selene Delgado Lopez missing person news report whenever the thing is close to catching you and it legit gave me chills.
🤣 I haven't laughed this hard in years, literally in tears right now not even joking, seriously this one damn near killed me. I have so many questions, like why in hell would anyone in their right mind create broken, creepy, FUBAR games like this? how could anyone charge actual money for this? was that guy telepathically connected to that vehicle via umbilical cord? why in the ever loving fuck was there a punch and even a stab maneuver in your moves list if all you do is milk cows!? i could go on but i jest, seeing both of these batshit crazy games in action has left me with a feeling of both confusion and dread.
6:15 I would shockingly consider her TTS better since I could at least understand what she said. I couldn't even tell if the other guys were speaking in a recognizable language.
A Hoarders game could have potential: meet eccentric and troubled characters, negotiate with them on what to dispose of and what to keep - this might involve delving into their backgrounds and examining certain items alongside the scrub and sort mini games.
I have to share what just happen to me. Just after the character drink directly from the cow for a second time, I got an add for olympic organic yogurt talking about happy cows. Just perfect.
the phone being an actual huge object in the world was.. so unexpected I now want it in other games. Imagine GTA like that and you could crash cars on the highway with your phone
![Twenty One Pilots - The Line (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XCz7WUotXs8/mqdefault.jpg)
Smash like for directly drink milk from cow
Hi
Dangit Wiz, you aren't supposed to close the door by flipping the car over!
smashing like rn
i need the milk
Homelander would smash that like.
The player model is LITERALLY from those level 1 crook mobile game ads
That's how mafia works
@@scrubmyfweednever thought I’d see that phrase again 🤣🤣🤣
@@scrubmyfweed I deadass saw the guy and googled this exact phrase just to make sure I was not tripping
The models remind me of something I’d see in those bunker mobile game ads
Except without the zombies
Conspiracy man had a point... Why can't we eat spoons with porridge?
I figured it out take the porridge blend it. pour blend into spoon shape freeze the oat spoon. Grind traditional spoon into iron dust. Sprinkle your shiny iron sprinkles into new oats, eat before the frozen ice spoon melts. There we go solution to a task no one asked for LOL
😅 😂😂😂😂😂
(PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT)
because you're supposed to use a fork
I'll need my Alu-hat for this
Love how the developer probably just gave up on how to make it work and went "eh, you can only milk the cows from one side, force of habit"
The protagonist's OCD forces him to do it from one specific side.
Okay anime guy
@@bwiebertramOK brick wall with door that looks like part of castle
That’s a thing in real life tho
@@terry2295 the lore is thickening
“Hold on just let me grab my money”
Pulls out comically large dollar bill
If I remember correctly then the cow milking games idea originates from a bunch of 2chan shitposts and it was specifically made for the purpose of entering a bad/cursed game competition in Japan. The translations of the game were all made with google translate and according to a friend of mine that works as a interpreter even the japanese original is purposefully written in a weird and janky way as well as full of gramatical errors. So I wouldn't necessarrily call it a bad game, as it fully succeeds at what it was meant to do.
cheers for the context, thought it had the chaotic vibe of a jap shitpost
Correct
I had a feeling this was a bad on purpose game
I mean, it does succeed at being a bad on purpose game, but it doesn’t feel like it’s a so bad it’s good game, it’s kinda like big rigs but wacky in its own way
Oh, I see the kusoge is alive and well.
Despite not being horror games these might be the scariest entries into this series so far.
Also the player character in the cow game is totally the "That's how Mafia works" model
Ever since the mafia kicked him out he has been falling down a rabbit hole for the rest of his life…
@@Redshirtgaming96 truly that's how mafia works
the job at the barn will surely turn him into a lvl. 15 hitman before he eventually climbs higher up the ladder
Was just checking the comments to see if anyone else had pointed that out, I did a double take when I saw him pivot around the model after getting out of the car.
The game is all but forgotten, but the meme shows back up once in a while.
that's how mafia works
Your boss was satisfied with you just feeding 1 cow but you made sure you fed them all. Excellent work ethic, good sir
“Nice body. I’m a breeding farmer, ito.”
I DIDNT KNOW THIS WAS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE GAMES SIR🥵🥵
NAHHH😭
I'm stealing that one
"Milk physics."
Two words that definitely exist together in a sentence. At least, they do now.
Jiggle physics
Pig physics
@@goofyahhgoober4905 What the fuck its got pig physics. It's freakin me out, i told myself when they added pig physics id stop playin games.
I mean, if I saw a Skyrim mod called 'Milk Physics' I'd assume it was for something else...
Why does that remind me of NSFW sfm animated cum physics?😂
Escape from Garbage House would be a great premise for a creepypasta. Really has a cursed feeling to it. Specially when seeing the bloody crib
Honestly thought the baby was like a ghost stuck in the attic after seeing that crib.
maybe thats the point of the game especially by looking at the title, almost seems like it was trying to be one of those meta games were you escape the mundane cleaning and find all this werid shit beyong the limits of the game
@33:38 so fun fact, the scratch off said you won the 6th prize. However, there was no prize to give for whatever reason, so you were given the message 'missing' right before the game crashed on you.
"I gave him my milk..." i dont like where this is going
"So he gave me his sausage..." STOP, STOP!
"Are we still doing phrasing?"
"Nice body. I'm a breeding farmer Ito."
This dev got maximum value out of their Fisher Price tape recorder.
Turns out the mafia didn't work so well after all to become a farmhand
Sometimes I regret using the internet...I Could have gone my whole life without knowing this game existed, happily.
I couldn’t, I needed this.
Without the internet I would not have met my best friend… you.
@@michaeldonoghue9015bro?😢
@@someguy1865 you are my best friend now. 🥹
@@michaeldonoghue9015, bro... wholesome...
I'm going to guess that the weird bowl that moves around with you, is the physics actor that's used when carrying a bowl of milk. So basically it would move to where you are when carrying the bowl and teleport there or is called from there when used.
Was wondering if that was what it was. Kind of weird that it wasn't out of the map.
we got a game dev armchair expert over here!!
@@eupi9098 That's just my guess, as it moves with the character by tilting and it's in a bowl shape, so they probably got some asset for physics simulations and just kept it over there to be called upon when they pick up the bucket.
@@we_played_Hob_Gobbies_together I wish XD I am trying to make my own game, but I love seeing other Indie games while trying to explain weird things I've noticed within them.
@@we_played_Hob_Gobbies_togetherwe cannot confirm if they are an armchair expert. Thus far they have only displayed expertise with physics-based bowls.
Truly sad to see the lvl 60 mafia boss is now drinking milk straight from cows working in a farm 😞
"And here I am....I'm a man...on a farm...and I can't move."
There is an epic tale to be told from that intro.
**car explodes**
I was very drunk when I found this, and it left me feeling that I am not the most drunk.
Yeah, calling an "out-of-body experience" "going into third-person" is genius.
7:33 This error window... "Directly Drink Milk from Cow.exe is not responding". Just wonderful...
Yooooo it's the lvl 100 boss from those gangsta adverts! He finally retired and became a cow... Drinker...
That truck model at 12:45 are Russan GAZ-3302 GAZel, 2nd generation truck variant of a basic GAZ-2705 minivan and it was produced with this outlook in 2003-2010 until being replaced by a 3rd generation which was also rebraneded as "GAZel-Business".
For how bad these games are... these devs, ... these devs have enviable bravery
The first one was intentionally bad actually.
I like to play "what's my favourite glitch?" with these videos, but there were so many this time that I coudn't keep track of them. I've decided to go for the way the game designer in the second game didn't bother to rename the assets, so we have Police_Boy_Slim_1_1, BlueSuitFree01 and Can36.
I can tell you from experience it does not taste that good out of the utter
Yah, I remember my childhood. Too fatty.
I laughed when they sent you and your garbage to prison. That’s fucking hilarious
The Wizard is literally milking for content. Amazing.
You should do an annual review of all the bad games you played and then find out which of them was the true worst game on steam, and then see if next year’s games can top it
I like that idea
I love the Japanese speech
There is such subtle acting you get from the sub that the english dub doesn't have
As soon as I saw the sausage guy in the distance, my mind instantly went “bazinga”. I then proceeded to immediately lose 40,000 brain cells.
Wiz, you take me back to the old days in early highschool when I would watch Jim Sterling experience early access hell every week. Thank you for bringing back the chill vibes of youth
Edit: Also something about the physics for the milk/liquid didn't sit right with me for some reason...
These are getting better and better, this feels like a channel where the videos are getting the attention they deserve
I feel sorry for devs who simply had the passion but not the talent.
Unfortunately for things like this, I don't think we can say they truly had passion. A Dev with passion tries to improve and learn. A Dev with passion wouldn't just shit out a game and try to sell it for $10.
Yeah nah they must have no self awareness if that's the case, how do you honestly make such a broken mess and charge 10 dollars for it?
@@emstinkokay you beat me to the point lol should've read the comments before posting, 100% share the sentiments you have with this
@@sneakysnake7695nah your 100% right
@@sneakysnake7695nah your 100% right
"Nice skybox."
To be fair, as a Wisconsinite, towns situated in the middle of empty fields is pretty normal.
Truly one of the things made in Japan's history
You can tell where the asset flipping had to end for the milk game cause that truck looked like a child's drawing with a front windshield/hood like that, all while the other vehicle models actually looked _g o o d_
It's a real truck, they're made in Russia (and are very common here; there are minibuses, selfloader trucks, open beds, fridge vans.. anything exists on this chassis). it's called GAZelle.
@@dgq1940 Okay that's fair, and kinda cool actually
I still think they had to make that truck's model and textures from scratch though - second door where it should've been an open space, no depth on like any facet of the main car or trailer, just generally crummy texture quality...
The second game give me chills and its kinda uncanny
The jarring teleport to “jail” with mystery people’s pictures and a chair with blood did NOT help with the weird uncannyness
Could be the two bottles of wine, but this is hilarious.
Idk how many years ago I saw it on CMK, but it's crazy how quickly I recognised this game
It's art
If your car gets stuck you can whack it around with your giant floating phone
As much as I liked goat simulator, it inspired an inconceivable change in game development.
So many people just make a crappy game and go "heh, all the broken mechanics are the gameplay"
“Hay you know what the sun looks like I haven’t seen that thing in ages”
“Uh yeah I’m pretty sure it’s just a big yellow circle”
“Ah gotcha big yellow circle”
We don't speak about the right-side milk...
This is clearly one of the best games on steam. Look out elden ring, you got some competition!!
I was playing elden ring while reading this
Im super excited for your channel! Its blowing up! Keep the good vids. 30 min are perfect. This kind of game is perfect. This was a perfect storm bud damn! Keep up the good work i look forward the the future!
Its like a fever dream i had once. This video made me uncomfortable and entertained at the same time.
Lovely farmer clothes you got there with your collared button up office shirt, khaki dress pants and dress shoes. Perfect outfit for interacting with large livestock and tromping around in cow pies.
The way that the cow is doing paranormal activity😂
I can already see big things for you in the future. Everytime I get recommended a channel I end up seeing them blow up to millions of followers over the next year. Can’t wait to see how it goes
Would love to see some dev release the source to their game so another dev could go over it, where and why the jank exists.
i swear that character model is the one from those mafia city ads that were popular a couple years ago
Not the model, only face tho
I think I know the reason why the price of milk increases. I believe its because the farmers keep spilling the milk everywhere. Also the live action menu is kinda creepy feels like it should be part of a horror arg RUclips series.
18:11 the lighting and shadows have no business looking that good
I don't leave many comments but as an indie game dev I love this series. A lot. I hope I never make it into it lol
I like that they made the 'Mafia" guy from those mobile ads, have a more pacific life than crimes.
That second game is literally house flipper but worse
This doesn't even really sound like text to speech. It's obviously the developer just putting a million filters over his voice. Instead of using a female Japanese tts voice, he just chose to pitch his voice up a million times lmao
The second game is kinda like a Japanese House Flipper Simulator. Hikkikomori (shut ins) are becoming more and more common in Japan and live in that sort of squalor as a regular thing. There is big money in cleanup services. Some Japanese people even volunteer to do it for free.
I love how the player model is just the Mafia boss from those ads
No one talks about it, but why are we feeding hay to the cows... in summer... after herding them back from the pasture? What does the dev think cows do at the pasture?
If you remove any context, this game actually whips ass. Just a bunch of dope stuff smashed all together. Car stunts, good dog, fresh milk. All awesome stuff
i absolutely lost it at "bleeding resistance"
30:33 actual fear set in and the reality of basically doing an 8 hour shift job set in at this moment...
From 23:45 to 24:17 I kept laughing harder and harder at each subsequent event. It was like it kept going from bad to worse
I have to confess.. got very excited when I got notification for new video... this is a very very fun series to watch
I'm surprised this guy put this games on the market at those price, and revealed his face in the game, considering this is Japan, the country were "clamping your car" means having a yellow tag on your side mirror, and out of pure shame, people pay it rather than drive around with it.
That TV at top volume reminded me of a Nextbot that plays the Selene Delgado Lopez missing person news report whenever the thing is close to catching you and it legit gave me chills.
15:25 I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the sausage ha ha ha ha 😂
🤣 I haven't laughed this hard in years, literally in tears right now not even joking, seriously this one damn near killed me. I have so many questions, like why in hell would anyone in their right mind create broken, creepy, FUBAR games like this? how could anyone charge actual money for this? was that guy telepathically connected to that vehicle via umbilical cord? why in the ever loving fuck was there a punch and even a stab maneuver in your moves list if all you do is milk cows!? i could go on but i jest, seeing both of these batshit crazy games in action has left me with a feeling of both confusion and dread.
Shut up
clicked on this instantly because the title intrigued me so much
Comedically this game is definitely a 6/10 I’d call that a success.
Scratch card was the ultimate final boss also!
thank you for introducing me to milk physics
Finally got your plushie, great stuff! I'm glad you're still doing this btw! Hope all's well
For some reason, the default volume for every Japanese indie game is mind-bogglingly loud. Glad to see that even Steam trash is no exception.
You had a flashlight before you got arrested and threw all the junk on the ground there was a flashlight mixed in with the empty wrappers.
6:15 I would shockingly consider her TTS better since I could at least understand what she said. I couldn't even tell if the other guys were speaking in a recognizable language.
Oh fuck yeah, 2004-2006 Scion xB gang rise up -- always nice to see everyone's favorite toaster car make a cameo
When you drive so badly that not even YOU will get in while you're driving lol.
"these people have trouble cleaning their homes because of their mental health what would be in their rooms?"
"europallets"
"milk physics"...eat your heart out "Star Citizen". Pfft npc sheet wrinkle physics got nothing on this milk
I love how your character is the boss from the mafia city ads.
Go Back
(returns to the void)
1:15 I love how you were so afraid of being cancelled you couldn't finish that sentence lol.
And I thought cyriak's video is the most cursed thing about cows on RUclips.
A Hoarders game could have potential: meet eccentric and troubled characters, negotiate with them on what to dispose of and what to keep - this might involve delving into their backgrounds and examining certain items alongside the scrub and sort mini games.
Man, gotta love that Nokia level Arabic music going on with that phone.
I love how they used corgi texture for the dog and not some stock rottweiler because corgis actually used to be shepherd dogs
Only 30 seconds in and what the fuck is wrong with that fence
I have to share what just happen to me. Just after the character drink directly from the cow for a second time, I got an add for olympic organic yogurt talking about happy cows. Just perfect.
It sounds like not TTS but just the Japanese lines recorded on a 90s era PC microphone
It's amazing, the progress of science:
*MILK PHYSICS*
Are you playing as mafia boss from all this mafia games ads?
We had goat simulator, now we have Tom Green simulator.
Once again everything is twice as big as it should be. Love it.
I just love your channel bro, never fails to make me laugh. Just don't stab me...
At least it isn't called drink milk directly from bull
Where are the sausages coming from😂
the phone being an actual huge object in the world was.. so unexpected I now want it in other games. Imagine GTA like that and you could crash cars on the highway with your phone