Stuff like this is why I've followed you for years. It's not just content. It's personal. It's exciting, it's gutteral, it's emotional, it's REAL. One can see your life's path through the videos. And it's a story I have always deeply connected to.
This video really captures the beauty of not just a game's story, but the suffering and overcoming of human experience. I've cried listening to this video.
Thr fact that Cal has psychometry, and thus an incredibly strong connection to memories of not only himself but others, AND on Bracca he was constantly scrapping Clone Wars era equipment, I imagine he was having trauma filled flashbacks every day
Honestly that's probably what led to his insensitivity to the force by the time the game starts; survival. In conjunction with consciously suppressing his abilities, they were also subconsciously suppressed as well. consistently having force-induced trauma flashes would, reasonably, cause a severing in his ability, albeit small, to allow him to survive.
I bet that's why in the beginning of Fallen Order he's listening to music. Like most who has trauma tend to listen to music to forget. I do the same especially with my depression.
@@xrickardoxgamer3282same! Must have music, must have sound. Can’t let the brain get too board at, say, work and thought-stumble into trauma and have to explain to my coworkers why I’m suddenly sobbing.
I love the color grading of the game footage. The crushing of the blacks and whites while simple somehow makes it seem more beautiful. It also, seemingly thematically, breaks up and contrasts the parts of the image. The characters themselves are broken and divided, which means the darkness shows through. But, that means the light is more powerful when it shines through as well. Fallen Order has been and always will be one of my favorite games. Thank you for making this analysis, its exactly what i needed right now
Austin we love u. Please don't ever stop. I know it can be hard. Battling with depression and anxiety is hard. I just hope messages like this help you feel better. Maybe even put a smile on your face. When u left game theory I was so pissed because I felt like u were always the most real. Thank you for shoddy cast. Thank you for being you. I know you probably won't read this but you got this.
Hey, we happened to orbit in some of the same social circles in Chicago for a few years, and we never had the pleasure of meeting, but the way peoples' eyes lit up when they talked about you spoke volumes. You are really valued and loved and make an impact, and I'm really excited to see you continuing to create.
In a way, I believe every single person on this planet want/wish/hope for that kind of "legacy" I wish that you all could hear them, see them light up, their joy and love resonating through their memories and experiences with you, their whole being wanting to share *you* with someone else.
Fallen Order is special to me. The gameplay might not be the best, but the story hits a specific part of my psyche. I played Fallen Order shortly after I almost lost my life to a car accident. I was in the same place Cal was. Broken, hurt, pretending that I could go back to how I was before it happened. Cal's journey was my journey. It helped me accept what happened and move forward. Helped me find peace with myself.
1:57 - I've often said that it is the flaws that make the man. Being perfect is boring, it is the flaws that give character, that make someone stand out from the sea of bland faces and give them their own unique identity. Conquering your flaws is hard, sometimes it takes your entire life to do, and sometimes you never manage to do it, and that's *ok*. After all, your flaws are just as much a part of you as everything else, and that makes you YOU. Don't ever stop being yourself, Austin. We all love you.
I fully agree. Some of my dearest friends are deely flawed individuals, and a few of my favourite channels are from very afflicted people as well (like AsukkaTV). Accepting qnd working on that is very important
Wow, I turned on the reminder for this video and am subscribed with notifications, yet still RUclips only showed me this video 30 minutes after it was released, and only in the recommendations. RUclips really has done you a great injustice today
Yeah no notification but at least it was on my splash page. Be nice if youtube would show the channels you watch frequently first before showing recommendations.
I never thought there could be so much thought and story put into a Star Wars game from 2019, of all things. I haven't played J:FO, but the relatability and strange sense of kinship Austin found in just a lightsaber is kind of infectious. This is definitely one of Austin's better videos (yes, the lion animation error looks natural), and it was worth getting up earlier to watch the premiere. Austin seems to be finding his own road to mental redemption by analyzing and rethinking video games, and I'm here for every second of it. Hope to see more videos soon, but remember to have fun making them ;)
I am 2 mins into this video and have decided to put this on the backlog before spoilers kick in. You've rekindled my desire to play Fallen Order and I will return to happily absorb this video with the knowledge of the game in me. See you soon!
@@MultiverseMediaSpace I played for 5 hours, got tired of it and deleted it. So uh, now that i'm starting over I think I might take like 30 hours to get back to this vid. But okay, I guess I can.
This may be your most beautiful video and immediately hits me as one of the most impressively impactful and authentic works in not only this niche but on RUclips. Thank you for opening yourself up to make this.
This, this is why I follow you my friend. Your rants are amazing but your humanity, empathy and the darkness you have overcome.. and acknowledge is why I love your content. Amazing job
Thank you. Sincerely. This isn’t an easy topic, but it’s a meaningful one so thank you for giving it the care and attention it deserved, and putting into words a lot of things that needed to be said.
My husband and I on our separate accounts will continue to be subscribed and watch your videos as you release them. As people with our own mental health illnesses, we will wait you out as long as you need. I am sure many of us will. We may not be sick the same way, but we understand on some level. Keep going forward at your pace, we will continue to cheer you on. Thank you for not giving up even when you really want to. Thank you so much.
I truly don't know that ANY other content creator puts MORE effort into their videos than you and I think that's a big part of why I get SO excited whenever I see you upload anything at all. Feel your feelings as long as at the end of the day you know that you're exceptional and worth the time your viewers collectively give to your videos.
Thank you for giving me what I feel to be the most important parasocial relationship I have. It's videos like these that make me feel connected and understood, even if we've never spoken a word to each other's face. I am an extremely traumatised person, myself, and I gave up long ago trying to find a "normal" or a way for things to "go back to the way they were". My life has been forever changed by trauma, and as someone who's ability to choose flight has been completely destroyed, I think the perceived "power" of living IN trauma is the fact that when scared, angry, and manic, you ARE capable of doing pretty amazing things... but it's not sustainable to stay hypervigilant 24/7 for the rest of your life. It's taxing both emotionally and mentally. I appreciate when creators are open with their audience about their struggles, especially as I live almost a hermit-like life. I've cut off my family (extremely toxic, we'll leave it at that for now), and have very few friends. I don't share my living space with others (except my rescued roosters), I don't go to social events like movies, bars, etc., and I spend very, very little time with the few friends I have. Considering this, it's very easy for me to fall into a world of, "everything that's not associated with me is perfect, functional, and everyone's happy". It's nice to hear that sometimes, the world beyond myself struggles just as much as I do. It's nice to hear people becoming more comfortable as talking about struggles becomes more normalised. In the end, I like to think that I'm witnessing a world not just become more connected, but more compassionate as well. Thanks for the hope, Austin, and you're absolutely right in that it's okay to seek a new normal when shit hits the fan, and it's okay to be a broken person. My roosters remind me multiple times a day that they don't care how "broken" I am, they just love me for existing. Buddy has even come to my door several times while writing this just to ask for me to reach out to him and give him some scritches (which I've obliged), and it makes me smile to think that in his eyes, he not only loves and trusts me, but WANTS contact with me. He gets hugs every day, and any other boys I own get hugs, scritches, and cuddles depending on their individual comfort levels.
As a victim of childhood abuse I can say that your message here is one that each of us struggling with, well a lot of things, needs to here. As always shody you make me think and reassess the worlds around me. Thank you
Austin, this video hit me more in the feels then I was expecting it to. You are awesome at these analysis videos. Keep up my Man. You are not alone in this journey
Wow, thank you for making this. You hit the nail on the head, this is precisely what made Fallen Order stand out and special. Glad to see it getting the attention it deserves.
Worth the wait, sad for Austin’s that he’s dealing with the scars but happy for him that he can adopt the analogy of the sabre being broken but fixable. I feel for him, I’ve been watching for a long time and I really relate sometimes with him when he talks about his struggle.
I never played the game, never experienced what you have, always felt minorly broken, always functional. This video is probably the best I have seen in years. Thank you.
Man this episode was the therapy I needed at the moment. We may break at points but it is how you put yourself back together that matters and most importantly that we keep trying!!
Hey Austin, I'm someone who's currently facing their own brokenness, and I just wanted to thank you for making this video. Fallen Order is one of my favourite games, and its' story always resonated a lot with me, but I never really understood why, until now. You beautifully exposed what my mind hadn't been able to put into words for so long, and made me realise what was behind my crippling self-doubt, fear of failure, and my desperate clinging to my old self. I still am not sure what exactly broke me, but thanks to you I now know that acceptance and adaptation is the path forward. Once again, thank you
I love you, Austin. Just knowing that you're well and still here, it means so much to me. I love You. I will always be excited to hear your voice and views. I still go back thru the Old vids, just to hear You when I feel like I need an anchor. Keep safe.
Thank you for always being open with your own personal experiences. I hope that for you, it is also a way to address what has happened and come to terms with it in a way that benefits you for the better.
I've done a fairly good job of leaning into my shitty coping mechanism of emotionally shutting off that i learned at a young age for trauma, believing that was the answer, that feeling no emotions was strength. Eventually I realized that I was hamstringing myself, that by refusing to learn how to cope with emotions... I was making myself weaker, because we're humans. Humans feel things... No matter how hard I clamped down, how I shut off and shut down, eventually they would always break through. At some point, though, I had been doing it for so long, it had become automatic. I couldn't stop doing it. It wasn't stopping the most severe emotions, but it stopped me from feeling anything less than that. My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer, and, with 1 remaining semester, my parents told me I had to drop out of school, and support them. I went to my university, and found out I didn't have to leave with nothing. I couldn't get my Honours degree, but I could get a General/Ba degree. Obviously, there were a lot of things going on around this time, but the day I realized I was in real trouble was the day my degree came in the mail. I opened it, and for a few moments, elation, and seconds later, nothing. I could not even enjoy good emotions anymore, not for longer than a few seconds before I would just shut off and feel nothing. I had been in and out of therapy for years at this point, but for other things. It never occurred to me that this coping mechanism of mine, one I kept using, would eventually... Turn off good emotions as well. I mean... I never really used it for that, so why would it? Since then, I have worked on it, but when things are really tough and it's the only tool in my kit left, I end up using it again. Like these last couple months, every December to April, I get really bad Seasonal Affective Disorder... This year, I went back to shutting off... And this video burst through that and made me feel something. Grief? I'm not sure. Maybe some day soon, I'll have to rewatch it and maybe I'll get my answer then, but for now... Great video, thanks for sharing, Austin.
Thank you for this my friend. As someone with autism, adhd, anxiety and depression, leaving me unable to work, I’ve been through some difficult experiences, and currently live in a country where my government is slowly taking my rights away. Every day I check the news to see another ban, another hate crime, and even on occasion another death. For the last few days I’ve been spiralling downward in the face of this adversity. I subscribed to you years ago on an old account, and have watched many shoddy cast videos. I remember booting up fallout 4 while I was literally homeless, couch surfing, and having the science on in the background while I played. You gave me hope then, just as you have given me hope now. Thank you Austin. I look forward to your next video.
The four years was worth it Austin. This is a really heartfelt message that is good for people experiencing or recovering from trauma. I expected to learn about lightsabers but I learned to love myself.
Thank you for finishing this video. Grief, loss, and starting over is hard to talk about and even harder to go through. You are not alone in these experiences, Austin, and countless people out here are rooting for you as we all rebuild our lightsabers. For context: I’m a survivor of an emotionally abusive marriage who’s actively putting my life back together as I write this. Your videos have been a source of inspiration and joy in that process. Thank you.
Everything you said about your family life in the opening minutes hit really close to home. I have been isolating a lot trying to deal with my own struggles, and the final segment directed towards Trilla was something I really needed to hear from someone today.. Synchronicity at its finest. Thank you for all you do for us Austin. Stay strong.
Thank you for eventually releasing this video. It is actually really good. I’m happy it didn’t get killed. The importance to you really showed in the deeper background and production. And that, I think, makes it such a profound video. Thank you. Thank you for the vulnerability presented.
Your sharing during the intro is very relatable for me. My life was also very rough, thanks to my parents; this channel oddly is one thing that not only distracts me but gives me a bit of hope
This is exactly what I needed to hear. You're right. I can't go back and fix what's broken. I am not who I was. I can not be who I was again. It's time I moved on and became something new. Broken yet whole. Thank you, Austin.
I hope I’m not the only one who pulled up this video and felt every word shared about brokenness. The surprise message that many of us needed to hear and embrace ❤
You're videos always make me feel like I need to deal with my trauma and I think I need these reminders from any source. I don't hear them every time and it helps when comes from unexpected places. Thanks.
I'm so glad you finally got this video out. It's a masterpiece. Totally worth the heart and soul and pain you put into it. This is why we all love you and your work Austin. Keep being beautiful. I'm gonna go cry now.
Nearly half a decade to make... but I think I needed to hear this now. Thank you, Austin, for sharing this with us, mispronunciations and all. We're all flawed... broken... to some extent. But there's a way back, no... a way forward, with help from others. Thanks for reaching out.
I suffer from depression and anxiety, I have for years, and while I never sharpened my negative emotions into a weapon or thought of them as strength I realize that I am like Cal; broken and wanting to return to the way things were, but unable to do so. For so long I’ve been languishing, but this video has definitely helped me onto the next stage of my path: remaking myself into something new and better. I’m extremely thankful for that Austin, and I hope that one day, like Cal and you, be able to adapt and move on. I think the major issue I’m facing right now is that I’ve tried to be open and true with my heart, but a few years ago, while putting my trust and love into my brother and sister, they couldn’t accept that I was broken, and while living temporarily with them it felt like a very hostile environment. They had a major issue with what they saw as me staying home and enjoying myself all day instead of working. They thought I wasn’t trying to get better (and maybe I wasn’t, but until now I really had no idea how). The whole thing felt like a stab in the heart and while I’m now slowly reconnecting with them it scares me to try to be open again, to love and feel and try to be myself again, because if my own brother and sister don’t accept me, who will? All of this I write because I guess I hope someone has the answer. Maybe it’s the same thing: adapt, make something new and better, but as I tried to do that last time and got stabbed in the back by those close to me I’m definitely lacking a bit in faith. Still, I would love to hear ideas if anyone has them. Maybe just this comment is a start, expressing my pain to random strangers. I don’t know.
I will agree, good sir this hits home in a way I could not express my self. The way you have summed Cal's lightsaber is beyond beautiful. I fail to have the vocabulary to express but it's flawless. You have no idea how many life's and hearts this will affect. Thank you for sharing not only your pain, fears but kindness and wisdom. You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you for the good work
As a resident psychiatrist, amen to this whole video. Connection takes courage. The way to overcome trauma is transformation. This is the best video you’ve ever made and I’ve been watching since 2017. Great job.
"Failure is not the end, it is a necessary part of the path." This quote from the game has sat with me long after I have played it. I feel this quote perfectly summarizes the story and the gameplay since it is heavily influenced by dark souls.
Broken, Remade, Strengthened. It is amazing how often we yearn for the things of the past, when after a healing process, there is better ahead, not behind. Its a lesson that is so hard to learn sometimes. Austin, I am proud of you for sticking this one out. It sounds like you needed reminded of the lesson as well. I know we don't know each other. But you've been there to make me laugh and think and grow. Its why I will be a proud scientist and Shoddy Cast fan to the end. I hope this has helped you find what you need.
So, I haven’t finished the video yet. But I wanted to tell you how close that intro hit to home. I too grew up in an abusive household, and struggle with my own mental health as a result. It has been a long road of rebuilding myself into someone that I could have looked to for help. And it had never truly gotten easier.. until I realized, I’m not alone anymore. There are so many people who genuinely care about, and love me. That’s something I never thought I’d have.
This video was WELL worth the wait. Normally, I have difficulty gleaming meaning from what people talk about, but I could clearly see what you were driving at. Thank you for making this. I hope you continue to make deep videos like this. Your thoughts are wonderful.
Austin from 2021 had a point, and I can see why this script didn't let you go. And... it was more important to me than I could've possibly envisioned before I started watching it. Thanks, Austin. For making this, and making a point that needed to be made and verbalised, so that people like me who need to hear this, can maybe look inside themselves too and maybe finally get started on moving past the past.
Austin I have followed your channel for years and I have never commented on a video. But I felt the need to comment on this one. Thank you. Thank you for all of the education and entertainment over the years. Videos like this one speak to a deeper thing inside of many of us. So many of us can relate to trauma and pain, and so many of us fall into thinking that it breaks us when really what it should do is make us stronger. Thank you for articulating this idea in a way that is relatable. I know this video you’re going to help some people Deal with their self perception around their trauma.
I collapsed when i left home the first time for college 2 and a half years ago, I got worse for a long time, and did things to myself that my body will never forget, I eventually started on in dbt (dialectical behavioral therapy) and everything my therapist taught me centered around this idea of radical acceptance. Where you simply acknowledge how completely powerless you are, in whatever situation you may be applying this to, and accept all the things outside your control. I have moved so far from who i was before that it is safe to say i have become everything I used to hate, but I have grown. I'm still not *better* don't know if that's even possible, but I'm better than I've ever been. Acceptance probably is the only way out of rock bottom Thanks for the video, it was amazing, i may have to check out jedi survivors now
this video hit close to home for me. i played fallen order after every trauma in my life should have faded, and i remember that feeling of connection with all of these characters. i couldn't figure out why, but after watching this video... it's because i fell to my own dark side. i had been externalizing my pain for years and didn't even understand that i was still broken inside. i haven't healed, the wounds haven't closed, and the exertion of my anger will only rip them open again. i think i have a long journey of self-discovery ahead of me. thank you, austin.
The way I rationalized human psyche is as a mismatched puzzle that, once it is broken, cannot be put back the way it was. So you take the pieces you can and build a new you, to the best of your capacity. But there will always be pieces left, unable to fit in, staring back at you in your darker moments. Reminding you that you will always be broken. Making peace with them is but the first step in a journey, and it's a step you'll need to do again and again. But, at least for me, it keeps me striving forward, and appreciating the little victories along the way. Been a long time I hadn't thought about this. Thank you.
This was an amazing introspection of how games can really give feeling for the player. Letting us get to know a character on another level than a 2 hour movie. Thanks for this good sir.
I am crying right now, Austin. I'm really happy you ended up fully producing and releasing this script because it... it really gets at why this game means so much to me and hits me somewhere super deep and personal. Thanks
Hey man, here for you too. Ive been through abuse, and just wanted to offer support. Iften times men feel alone because others never share their stories. Thank you for being venerable.
Not me crying over this game again. Nope, just my eyes being sweaty. Austin, this has been a wonderful video and I couldn't be prouder of you putting this together in such a well thought out piece. May we all find the peace we need as we fight our own traumas and battles in life.
Austin, I needed this video. I am very grateful that you stuck by it, as I really needed to hear the messages you had to tell in this video. I am someone who has also dealt with a lot of trauma and emotional abuse. I have dealt with narcissistic parents, I still live with one, and I still feel like I'm trying to put the broken shattered pieces of my life together. I just want you to know that I really needed this video.
Probably one of my favorite videos you've made. Thank you for making this not only for yourself but for me, and everyone else. Never heard of this game but now I want to play it.
Whatever brought you to unearth this relic of a video, whatever posessed you to share it with the world, I can tell you it works. This is the Austin I love ❤
I've 'gotten through' a lot of my mental health problems. I think I liked to believe that it was behind me, that because I wasn't actively suicidal, or actively in and out of hospitals that everything was fine now and I was back to normal. I don't know that I ever will be, but I'm getting better at accepting that me, now, isn't the same as me before. It sucks, but its reality, and I can work with that. Just means I might have to tackle things from a different angle than I used to, and with some help. I really appreciate you putting into works why this story hit so hard. I didn't really understand it at the time, I just knew that I really really liked it, and I really identified with the characters.
The intro resonates with more people than you realize, my good man. I share many of these personal struggled and it hurts to hear another going through what can at times feel insurmountable. You'll always be in my algorithm. You've always been one of my favorite science/math flavored content creators. Days get better. You are not defined by how you feel today. As always, patiently awaiting the next half-screamy science breakdown.
I needed this video. I lost my Mother to cancer a few months ago, and I've been having a really hard time with it. I've felt broken, like Austin describes. Not just unfixable, but like there's no point in trying to fix myself, because even if I excelled in every aspect of my life going forward... She's not going to be here to see it. I couldn't have done any more against her cancer than young Cal could have done against the troopers who killed his Master, but like him I carry a lot of irrational guilt and self-blame regardless. Like with Cal's first encounter with the ghost of his Master, I'm plagued by self-defeating negativity and the unshakable feeling that this somehow might not have happened if I'd been a better son. Hopefully I can learn Cal's lesson and adapt to this new life without her in it, find a way to rebuild it into something potentially better... But it's going to be a long, hard road.
I had a spine injury, for a year I could barely walk, and even then, only with tremendous pain. The nature of my trauma was physical rather than emotional or mental but devastating for me all the same. The lesson discussed in this video is one I had to learn and take to heart. A song by The Stupendium, Fragments, really helped me through and espouses a similar sentiment.
*Salute* It took a little while but i think it was worth it. Maybe shoddycast by name, not shoddy in even the slightest. Thank you, Austin - your words make so much god damn sense.
tl:dr: my life has been deeply touched by, quite literally, all of the abuses and other ways that people can be hurt. I won't elaborate on my own litany of personal traumas-just for the sake of brevity-but, I will say that I was a counseling psychologist before I became disabled. So, I want you to take this as a professional endorsement: you absolutely crushed it; no notes. I'll be sending this to several former colleagues. Below are just my musings on why I think it's so damn good. -- I really appreciate how you were able to avoid or dismiss the useless platitudes. Too many people find themselves repeating the cycle of abuse, or end up starting a new one, because they believe that things will just eventually just get better. And, that's making the big assumption that they even acknowledge that anything is wrong. But, as you pointed out, that's not your people and healing work. Instead, you used a beautiful allegory to make the statement that you're never going to be the same person after trauma. And, that maladaptively clinging to the person you once were is only going to impede finding a constructive path forward. I won't rehash your own words to you. But, I wanted to highlight 2 things-besides the thesis of your piece-that really stuck out to me, and that I think will strongly resonate with your audience: The first is how you highlighted that penultimate moment of hopelessness so well. Cal, finally given the wisdom that the past can't be changed-and, that he must choose to move on-is only made more powerful by his response; his desperate and pleading "how?" is met with an answer, but it isn't one that he truly understands until he confronts and accepts the new person that he is. That, by itself, is going to hit your audience like a semi full of flint and gasoline, in the best possible way. And, I feel like you elevated the source material by building a fantastic web of context around that scene. The second is in the way you took so much care in explaining how, at the moment of his deepest low, Cal chose to find a way to make something that seemed broken beyond repair, work better for himself than it was ever intended. That was the exact moment he internalized the the answer to his prior question. And, again, the way you framed it was masterful. It made me hear an imaginary orchestra swell into existence as he realized the his lightsaber wasn't truly broken, he just didn't understand the strengths of it's new form yet. Anyway, like I said, I think a lot of my former colleagues can get a fair amount of mileage out of this. I'm an elder millennial, and many of my peers struggled to find reference media that could help them connect with younger clients. This is definitely in the ballpark of exactly what many of them needed when I was asked for help on this years ago. So, thank you for making it. I promise you that this is going to tangibly help people better connect and work through their own therapy journeys.
![EVERY SINGLE Lightsaber Crystal Explained [Canon + Legends]](/img/1.gif)
Give this video a like if you're too scared to play the "Austin Mispronounces Malicos" drinking game.
Malicosh
jokes aside thanks for this episode, you put your soul out to help others. It helps me. Thank you, lets all be better.
It's not fear, it's understanding.
Im terified
Can I play the game anyways and still give it a thumbs up? Great video as always Austin. Thank you for everything.
Stuff like this is why I've followed you for years. It's not just content. It's personal. It's exciting, it's gutteral, it's emotional, it's REAL. One can see your life's path through the videos. And it's a story I have always deeply connected to.
Couldn't have said it better myself - thank you for your comment :)
came to say this❤
I also came here to say this. Thank you, Austin. ❤
This video really captures the beauty of not just a game's story, but the suffering and overcoming of human experience. I've cried listening to this video.
Thr fact that Cal has psychometry, and thus an incredibly strong connection to memories of not only himself but others, AND on Bracca he was constantly scrapping Clone Wars era equipment, I imagine he was having trauma filled flashbacks every day
Honestly that's probably what led to his insensitivity to the force by the time the game starts; survival.
In conjunction with consciously suppressing his abilities, they were also subconsciously suppressed as well.
consistently having force-induced trauma flashes would, reasonably, cause a severing in his ability, albeit small, to allow him to survive.
Nooo, this hurt my heart. Poor Cal
I bet that's why in the beginning of Fallen Order he's listening to music. Like most who has trauma tend to listen to music to forget. I do the same especially with my depression.
@@xrickardoxgamer3282same! Must have music, must have sound. Can’t let the brain get too board at, say, work and thought-stumble into trauma and have to explain to my coworkers why I’m suddenly sobbing.
I love the color grading of the game footage. The crushing of the blacks and whites while simple somehow makes it seem more beautiful. It also, seemingly thematically, breaks up and contrasts the parts of the image. The characters themselves are broken and divided, which means the darkness shows through. But, that means the light is more powerful when it shines through as well. Fallen Order has been and always will be one of my favorite games. Thank you for making this analysis, its exactly what i needed right now
Not gonna lie. This hit a lot closer to home for me than I realized. Thank you Sir. We appreciate your contribution and honesty.
It didn't just hit close to home, it made a direct hit
@@jaykemerling7553 I stand corrected
@@jaykemerling7553A direct critical hit IMO.
Austin we love u. Please don't ever stop. I know it can be hard. Battling with depression and anxiety is hard. I just hope messages like this help you feel better. Maybe even put a smile on your face. When u left game theory I was so pissed because I felt like u were always the most real. Thank you for shoddy cast. Thank you for being you. I know you probably won't read this but you got this.
Somebody did.
Hey, we happened to orbit in some of the same social circles in Chicago for a few years, and we never had the pleasure of meeting, but the way peoples' eyes lit up when they talked about you spoke volumes. You are really valued and loved and make an impact, and I'm really excited to see you continuing to create.
In a way, I believe every single person on this planet want/wish/hope for that kind of "legacy" I wish that you all could hear them, see them light up, their joy and love resonating through their memories and experiences with you, their whole being wanting to share *you* with someone else.
That is one of the nicest things you could say about a person, and it's something a lot of people with depression and anxiety REALLY need to hear
Fallen Order is special to me.
The gameplay might not be the best, but the story hits a specific part of my psyche.
I played Fallen Order shortly after I almost lost my life to a car accident. I was in the same place Cal was. Broken, hurt, pretending that I could go back to how I was before it happened.
Cal's journey was my journey. It helped me accept what happened and move forward. Helped me find peace with myself.
I nearly cried reading your comment, thank you for sharing. I'm glad to hear this game helped you through it!
1:57 - I've often said that it is the flaws that make the man. Being perfect is boring, it is the flaws that give character, that make someone stand out from the sea of bland faces and give them their own unique identity. Conquering your flaws is hard, sometimes it takes your entire life to do, and sometimes you never manage to do it, and that's *ok*. After all, your flaws are just as much a part of you as everything else, and that makes you YOU.
Don't ever stop being yourself, Austin. We all love you.
I fully agree. Some of my dearest friends are deely flawed individuals, and a few of my favourite channels are from very afflicted people as well (like AsukkaTV). Accepting qnd working on that is very important
Hi! It's me! Someone that's really excited to watch this video!
This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of us.
There is 3 of us!!!!
GOD F*** D***** Now there's at least 4.
I count 4... oh no.
Make that 5
Wow, I turned on the reminder for this video and am subscribed with notifications, yet still RUclips only showed me this video 30 minutes after it was released, and only in the recommendations. RUclips really has done you a great injustice today
Yeah no notification but at least it was on my splash page. Be nice if youtube would show the channels you watch frequently first before showing recommendations.
Use your subscription box...?
@karlhnedkovsky5214 for me thats always full of videos I've already seen in the past week.
@@enzovulkoor Yeah, but the moment a video comes out, it's there! There's nothing for it, for you to just check, right?
@@enzovulkoor I watch my subscriptions almost exclusively through it!
I never thought there could be so much thought and story put into a Star Wars game from 2019, of all things. I haven't played J:FO, but the relatability and strange sense of kinship Austin found in just a lightsaber is kind of infectious.
This is definitely one of Austin's better videos (yes, the lion animation error looks natural), and it was worth getting up earlier to watch the premiere. Austin seems to be finding his own road to mental redemption by analyzing and rethinking video games, and I'm here for every second of it. Hope to see more videos soon, but remember to have fun making them ;)
i know this was hard to make, but thank you for making it. it means so much.
This is gonna hit hard, I can already tell... Thanks Austin. You give me hope that some day... I'll be able to conquer my issues...
I am 2 mins into this video and have decided to put this on the backlog before spoilers kick in. You've rekindled my desire to play Fallen Order and I will return to happily absorb this video with the knowledge of the game in me. See you soon!
Let me know how it hits when its fresh, please.
@@MultiverseMediaSpace I played for 5 hours, got tired of it and deleted it. So uh, now that i'm starting over I think I might take like 30 hours to get back to this vid. But okay, I guess I can.
This may be your most beautiful video and immediately hits me as one of the most impressively impactful and authentic works in not only this niche but on RUclips. Thank you for opening yourself up to make this.
This, this is why I follow you my friend. Your rants are amazing but your humanity, empathy and the darkness you have overcome.. and acknowledge is why I love your content. Amazing job
Thank you. Sincerely. This isn’t an easy topic, but it’s a meaningful one so thank you for giving it the care and attention it deserved, and putting into words a lot of things that needed to be said.
with all my heart, i hope everyone who needs to see this, does
amazing work austin, thank you for sharing this with us
I feel this is some of your best work Austin. Thank you.
This is such a good video! It made me cry (in a good way) while reflecting on my own trauma.
My husband and I on our separate accounts will continue to be subscribed and watch your videos as you release them. As people with our own mental health illnesses, we will wait you out as long as you need. I am sure many of us will. We may not be sick the same way, but we understand on some level. Keep going forward at your pace, we will continue to cheer you on.
Thank you for not giving up even when you really want to. Thank you so much.
I truly don't know that ANY other content creator puts MORE effort into their videos than you and I think that's a big part of why I get SO excited whenever I see you upload anything at all.
Feel your feelings as long as at the end of the day you know that you're exceptional and worth the time your viewers collectively give to your videos.
Thank you for giving me what I feel to be the most important parasocial relationship I have. It's videos like these that make me feel connected and understood, even if we've never spoken a word to each other's face. I am an extremely traumatised person, myself, and I gave up long ago trying to find a "normal" or a way for things to "go back to the way they were". My life has been forever changed by trauma, and as someone who's ability to choose flight has been completely destroyed, I think the perceived "power" of living IN trauma is the fact that when scared, angry, and manic, you ARE capable of doing pretty amazing things... but it's not sustainable to stay hypervigilant 24/7 for the rest of your life. It's taxing both emotionally and mentally.
I appreciate when creators are open with their audience about their struggles, especially as I live almost a hermit-like life. I've cut off my family (extremely toxic, we'll leave it at that for now), and have very few friends. I don't share my living space with others (except my rescued roosters), I don't go to social events like movies, bars, etc., and I spend very, very little time with the few friends I have. Considering this, it's very easy for me to fall into a world of, "everything that's not associated with me is perfect, functional, and everyone's happy". It's nice to hear that sometimes, the world beyond myself struggles just as much as I do. It's nice to hear people becoming more comfortable as talking about struggles becomes more normalised. In the end, I like to think that I'm witnessing a world not just become more connected, but more compassionate as well.
Thanks for the hope, Austin, and you're absolutely right in that it's okay to seek a new normal when shit hits the fan, and it's okay to be a broken person. My roosters remind me multiple times a day that they don't care how "broken" I am, they just love me for existing. Buddy has even come to my door several times while writing this just to ask for me to reach out to him and give him some scritches (which I've obliged), and it makes me smile to think that in his eyes, he not only loves and trusts me, but WANTS contact with me. He gets hugs every day, and any other boys I own get hugs, scritches, and cuddles depending on their individual comfort levels.
As a victim of childhood abuse I can say that your message here is one that each of us struggling with, well a lot of things, needs to here. As always shody you make me think and reassess the worlds around me. Thank you
Austin, this video hit me more in the feels then I was expecting it to. You are awesome at these analysis videos. Keep up my Man. You are not alone in this journey
Wow, thank you for making this. You hit the nail on the head, this is precisely what made Fallen Order stand out and special. Glad to see it getting the attention it deserves.
Looking forward to your take on one of my favorite pieces of star wars media since the first two KOTOR games!
Fully agreed, those games were something special--and so is J:FO
I don’t even like Star Wars, but the way you commentated in this video had me HOOKED
This is at 3 am for me so I’ll miss the live but will be eagerly awaiting the chance to watch it after
Well how was it
Worth the wait, sad for Austin’s that he’s dealing with the scars but happy for him that he can adopt the analogy of the sabre being broken but fixable.
I feel for him, I’ve been watching for a long time and I really relate sometimes with him when he talks about his struggle.
This video is awesome, makes me appreciate Fallen Order's story even more than i already did.
This was a ride
And I am glad I have been here for it
Thank you Austin
All i have to say is thank you
I never played the game, never experienced what you have, always felt minorly broken, always functional. This video is probably the best I have seen in years. Thank you.
Man this episode was the therapy I needed at the moment. We may break at points but it is how you put yourself back together that matters and most importantly that we keep trying!!
aw man, I think part of be broke while watching this video. I was straight up moved to tears because I recognized myself in Cal... what a great vid
Hey Austin, I'm someone who's currently facing their own brokenness, and I just wanted to thank you for making this video. Fallen Order is one of my favourite games, and its' story always resonated a lot with me, but I never really understood why, until now. You beautifully exposed what my mind hadn't been able to put into words for so long, and made me realise what was behind my crippling self-doubt, fear of failure, and my desperate clinging to my old self. I still am not sure what exactly broke me, but thanks to you I now know that acceptance and adaptation is the path forward. Once again, thank you
I love you, Austin.
Just knowing that you're well and still here, it means so much to me.
I love You. I will always be excited to hear your voice and views.
I still go back thru the Old vids, just to hear You when I feel like I need an anchor.
Keep safe.
Thank you for always being open with your own personal experiences.
I hope that for you, it is also a way to address what has happened and come to terms with it in a way that benefits you for the better.
Very good video, thank you for this.
I've done a fairly good job of leaning into my shitty coping mechanism of emotionally shutting off that i learned at a young age for trauma, believing that was the answer, that feeling no emotions was strength. Eventually I realized that I was hamstringing myself, that by refusing to learn how to cope with emotions... I was making myself weaker, because we're humans. Humans feel things... No matter how hard I clamped down, how I shut off and shut down, eventually they would always break through. At some point, though, I had been doing it for so long, it had become automatic. I couldn't stop doing it. It wasn't stopping the most severe emotions, but it stopped me from feeling anything less than that.
My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer, and, with 1 remaining semester, my parents told me I had to drop out of school, and support them. I went to my university, and found out I didn't have to leave with nothing. I couldn't get my Honours degree, but I could get a General/Ba degree. Obviously, there were a lot of things going on around this time, but the day I realized I was in real trouble was the day my degree came in the mail. I opened it, and for a few moments, elation, and seconds later, nothing. I could not even enjoy good emotions anymore, not for longer than a few seconds before I would just shut off and feel nothing.
I had been in and out of therapy for years at this point, but for other things. It never occurred to me that this coping mechanism of mine, one I kept using, would eventually... Turn off good emotions as well. I mean... I never really used it for that, so why would it?
Since then, I have worked on it, but when things are really tough and it's the only tool in my kit left, I end up using it again. Like these last couple months, every December to April, I get really bad Seasonal Affective Disorder... This year, I went back to shutting off...
And this video burst through that and made me feel something. Grief? I'm not sure. Maybe some day soon, I'll have to rewatch it and maybe I'll get my answer then, but for now... Great video, thanks for sharing, Austin.
happy to see another new post power to you man
I'm glad you're back! Watching the start of your video, a powerful message. I hope you do well.
Thank you for this my friend. As someone with autism, adhd, anxiety and depression, leaving me unable to work, I’ve been through some difficult experiences, and currently live in a country where my government is slowly taking my rights away. Every day I check the news to see another ban, another hate crime, and even on occasion another death. For the last few days I’ve been spiralling downward in the face of this adversity. I subscribed to you years ago on an old account, and have watched many shoddy cast videos. I remember booting up fallout 4 while I was literally homeless, couch surfing, and having the science on in the background while I played. You gave me hope then, just as you have given me hope now. Thank you Austin. I look forward to your next video.
Nice to hear feom you!
The four years was worth it Austin. This is a really heartfelt message that is good for people experiencing or recovering from trauma. I expected to learn about lightsabers but I learned to love myself.
Thank you for finishing this video. Grief, loss, and starting over is hard to talk about and even harder to go through. You are not alone in these experiences, Austin, and countless people out here are rooting for you as we all rebuild our lightsabers.
For context: I’m a survivor of an emotionally abusive marriage who’s actively putting my life back together as I write this. Your videos have been a source of inspiration and joy in that process. Thank you.
Everything you said about your family life in the opening minutes hit really close to home. I have been isolating a lot trying to deal with my own struggles, and the final segment directed towards Trilla was something I really needed to hear from someone today.. Synchronicity at its finest. Thank you for all you do for us Austin. Stay strong.
Thank you for eventually releasing this video.
It is actually really good. I’m happy it didn’t get killed.
The importance to you really showed in the deeper background and production.
And that, I think, makes it such a profound video.
Thank you.
Thank you for the vulnerability presented.
Really loved this video, thank you for sharing that!
Your sharing during the intro is very relatable for me. My life was also very rough, thanks to my parents; this channel oddly is one thing that not only distracts me but gives me a bit of hope
This is exactly what I needed to hear. You're right. I can't go back and fix what's broken. I am not who I was. I can not be who I was again. It's time I moved on and became something new. Broken yet whole. Thank you, Austin.
I hope I’m not the only one who pulled up this video and felt every word shared about brokenness. The surprise message that many of us needed to hear and embrace ❤
You're videos always make me feel like I need to deal with my trauma and I think I need these reminders from any source. I don't hear them every time and it helps when comes from unexpected places. Thanks.
This was... a really well written video, goddamn.
I'm so glad you finally got this video out. It's a masterpiece. Totally worth the heart and soul and pain you put into it. This is why we all love you and your work Austin. Keep being beautiful. I'm gonna go cry now.
Nearly half a decade to make... but I think I needed to hear this now. Thank you, Austin, for sharing this with us, mispronunciations and all. We're all flawed... broken... to some extent. But there's a way back, no... a way forward, with help from others. Thanks for reaching out.
Damn this hit hard. I can see why this lived rent free in your head for so long, beautiful video
I suffer from depression and anxiety, I have for years, and while I never sharpened my negative emotions into a weapon or thought of them as strength I realize that I am like Cal; broken and wanting to return to the way things were, but unable to do so. For so long I’ve been languishing, but this video has definitely helped me onto the next stage of my path: remaking myself into something new and better. I’m extremely thankful for that Austin, and I hope that one day, like Cal and you, be able to adapt and move on.
I think the major issue I’m facing right now is that I’ve tried to be open and true with my heart, but a few years ago, while putting my trust and love into my brother and sister, they couldn’t accept that I was broken, and while living temporarily with them it felt like a very hostile environment. They had a major issue with what they saw as me staying home and enjoying myself all day instead of working. They thought I wasn’t trying to get better (and maybe I wasn’t, but until now I really had no idea how). The whole thing felt like a stab in the heart and while I’m now slowly reconnecting with them it scares me to try to be open again, to love and feel and try to be myself again, because if my own brother and sister don’t accept me, who will? All of this I write because I guess I hope someone has the answer. Maybe it’s the same thing: adapt, make something new and better, but as I tried to do that last time and got stabbed in the back by those close to me I’m definitely lacking a bit in faith. Still, I would love to hear ideas if anyone has them. Maybe just this comment is a start, expressing my pain to random strangers. I don’t know.
Really well wrighten Austin , thanks.
Man, I don’t usually comment on videos but this one… this hits. Thanks for this. Great video. Keep it up.
Awesome. You put a journey that took me 23 years to come to understand into a 23 minute video that explains it better than I ever could.
Very excited for this on so many levels
Damn it, Austin, nobody on RUclips can bring me so close to tears as you. Thank you for finally sharing this special video.
Woah. This game sounds awesome as far as storytelling goes!
I will agree, good sir this hits home in a way I could not express my self. The way you have summed Cal's lightsaber is beyond beautiful. I fail to have the vocabulary to express but it's flawless. You have no idea how many life's and hearts this will affect. Thank you for sharing not only your pain, fears but kindness and wisdom. You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you for the good work
Your openness about why this film was so late resonates with myself. Part of the reason i subscribed years ago.
Howdy, super excited to see this one
As a resident psychiatrist, amen to this whole video. Connection takes courage. The way to overcome trauma is transformation. This is the best video you’ve ever made and I’ve been watching since 2017. Great job.
"Failure is not the end, it is a necessary part of the path." This quote from the game has sat with me long after I have played it. I feel this quote perfectly summarizes the story and the gameplay since it is heavily influenced by dark souls.
Broken, Remade, Strengthened. It is amazing how often we yearn for the things of the past, when after a healing process, there is better ahead, not behind. Its a lesson that is so hard to learn sometimes. Austin, I am proud of you for sticking this one out. It sounds like you needed reminded of the lesson as well. I know we don't know each other. But you've been there to make me laugh and think and grow. Its why I will be a proud scientist and Shoddy Cast fan to the end. I hope this has helped you find what you need.
So, I haven’t finished the video yet. But I wanted to tell you how close that intro hit to home. I too grew up in an abusive household, and struggle with my own mental health as a result. It has been a long road of rebuilding myself into someone that I could have looked to for help. And it had never truly gotten easier.. until I realized, I’m not alone anymore. There are so many people who genuinely care about, and love me. That’s something I never thought I’d have.
This video was WELL worth the wait. Normally, I have difficulty gleaming meaning from what people talk about, but I could clearly see what you were driving at. Thank you for making this. I hope you continue to make deep videos like this. Your thoughts are wonderful.
Austin from 2021 had a point, and I can see why this script didn't let you go. And... it was more important to me than I could've possibly envisioned before I started watching it. Thanks, Austin. For making this, and making a point that needed to be made and verbalised, so that people like me who need to hear this, can maybe look inside themselves too and maybe finally get started on moving past the past.
Let’s go!
Austin I have followed your channel for years and I have never commented on a video. But I felt the need to comment on this one. Thank you. Thank you for all of the education and entertainment over the years. Videos like this one speak to a deeper thing inside of many of us. So many of us can relate to trauma and pain, and so many of us fall into thinking that it breaks us when really what it should do is make us stronger. Thank you for articulating this idea in a way that is relatable. I know this video you’re going to help some people Deal with their self perception around their trauma.
I legitimately cried at the end of this video.
I collapsed when i left home the first time for college 2 and a half years ago, I got worse for a long time, and did things to myself that my body will never forget, I eventually started on in dbt (dialectical behavioral therapy) and everything my therapist taught me centered around this idea of radical acceptance. Where you simply acknowledge how completely powerless you are, in whatever situation you may be applying this to, and accept all the things outside your control. I have moved so far from who i was before that it is safe to say i have become everything I used to hate, but I have grown. I'm still not *better* don't know if that's even possible, but I'm better than I've ever been. Acceptance probably is the only way out of rock bottom
Thanks for the video, it was amazing, i may have to check out jedi survivors now
this video hit close to home for me.
i played fallen order after every trauma in my life should have faded, and i remember that feeling of connection with all of these characters. i couldn't figure out why, but after watching this video... it's because i fell to my own dark side. i had been externalizing my pain for years and didn't even understand that i was still broken inside. i haven't healed, the wounds haven't closed, and the exertion of my anger will only rip them open again.
i think i have a long journey of self-discovery ahead of me.
thank you, austin.
The way I rationalized human psyche is as a mismatched puzzle that, once it is broken, cannot be put back the way it was. So you take the pieces you can and build a new you, to the best of your capacity. But there will always be pieces left, unable to fit in, staring back at you in your darker moments. Reminding you that you will always be broken.
Making peace with them is but the first step in a journey, and it's a step you'll need to do again and again. But, at least for me, it keeps me striving forward, and appreciating the little victories along the way.
Been a long time I hadn't thought about this. Thank you.
This was beautifully written. I love it so much. Thank you for sharing this!
This was an amazing introspection of how games can really give feeling for the player. Letting us get to know a character on another level than a 2 hour movie. Thanks for this good sir.
Dude, I can't believe how this video smashed me in so many ways. Thank you, and I wish the best for you in your journeys. Please hang in there.
Dude! You're making videos! Thank you 🎉
I respect you my friend. Seeking help and dealing with your demons is something I could never do.
I am crying right now, Austin. I'm really happy you ended up fully producing and releasing this script because it... it really gets at why this game means so much to me and hits me somewhere super deep and personal. Thanks
Hey man, here for you too. Ive been through abuse, and just wanted to offer support. Iften times men feel alone because others never share their stories. Thank you for being venerable.
Not me crying over this game again. Nope, just my eyes being sweaty. Austin, this has been a wonderful video and I couldn't be prouder of you putting this together in such a well thought out piece. May we all find the peace we need as we fight our own traumas and battles in life.
Austin, I needed this video. I am very grateful that you stuck by it, as I really needed to hear the messages you had to tell in this video. I am someone who has also dealt with a lot of trauma and emotional abuse. I have dealt with narcissistic parents, I still live with one, and I still feel like I'm trying to put the broken shattered pieces of my life together. I just want you to know that I really needed this video.
We love you, man! Thank you for giving us a part of yourself all these years to deliver all the content you have!
I'm really, really grateful you released this. The world needed it to exist.
Probably one of my favorite videos you've made. Thank you for making this not only for yourself but for me, and everyone else. Never heard of this game but now I want to play it.
Whatever brought you to unearth this relic of a video, whatever posessed you to share it with the world, I can tell you it works. This is the Austin I love ❤
I've 'gotten through' a lot of my mental health problems. I think I liked to believe that it was behind me, that because I wasn't actively suicidal, or actively in and out of hospitals that everything was fine now and I was back to normal. I don't know that I ever will be, but I'm getting better at accepting that me, now, isn't the same as me before. It sucks, but its reality, and I can work with that. Just means I might have to tackle things from a different angle than I used to, and with some help.
I really appreciate you putting into works why this story hit so hard. I didn't really understand it at the time, I just knew that I really really liked it, and I really identified with the characters.
The intro resonates with more people than you realize, my good man. I share many of these personal struggled and it hurts to hear another going through what can at times feel insurmountable. You'll always be in my algorithm. You've always been one of my favorite science/math flavored content creators.
Days get better. You are not defined by how you feel today.
As always, patiently awaiting the next half-screamy science breakdown.
I needed this video. I lost my Mother to cancer a few months ago, and I've been having a really hard time with it. I've felt broken, like Austin describes. Not just unfixable, but like there's no point in trying to fix myself, because even if I excelled in every aspect of my life going forward... She's not going to be here to see it.
I couldn't have done any more against her cancer than young Cal could have done against the troopers who killed his Master, but like him I carry a lot of irrational guilt and self-blame regardless. Like with Cal's first encounter with the ghost of his Master, I'm plagued by self-defeating negativity and the unshakable feeling that this somehow might not have happened if I'd been a better son.
Hopefully I can learn Cal's lesson and adapt to this new life without her in it, find a way to rebuild it into something potentially better... But it's going to be a long, hard road.
I had a spine injury, for a year I could barely walk, and even then, only with tremendous pain.
The nature of my trauma was physical rather than emotional or mental but devastating for me all the same.
The lesson discussed in this video is one I had to learn and take to heart. A song by The Stupendium, Fragments, really helped me through and espouses a similar sentiment.
*Salute* It took a little while but i think it was worth it. Maybe shoddycast by name, not shoddy in even the slightest. Thank you, Austin - your words make so much god damn sense.
tl:dr: my life has been deeply touched by, quite literally, all of the abuses and other ways that people can be hurt. I won't elaborate on my own litany of personal traumas-just for the sake of brevity-but, I will say that I was a counseling psychologist before I became disabled. So, I want you to take this as a professional endorsement: you absolutely crushed it; no notes. I'll be sending this to several former colleagues.
Below are just my musings on why I think it's so damn good.
--
I really appreciate how you were able to avoid or dismiss the useless platitudes. Too many people find themselves repeating the cycle of abuse, or end up starting a new one, because they believe that things will just eventually just get better. And, that's making the big assumption that they even acknowledge that anything is wrong. But, as you pointed out, that's not your people and healing work.
Instead, you used a beautiful allegory to make the statement that you're never going to be the same person after trauma. And, that maladaptively clinging to the person you once were is only going to impede finding a constructive path forward.
I won't rehash your own words to you. But, I wanted to highlight 2 things-besides the thesis of your piece-that really stuck out to me, and that I think will strongly resonate with your audience:
The first is how you highlighted that penultimate moment of hopelessness so well. Cal, finally given the wisdom that the past can't be changed-and, that he must choose to move on-is only made more powerful by his response; his desperate and pleading "how?" is met with an answer, but it isn't one that he truly understands until he confronts and accepts the new person that he is. That, by itself, is going to hit your audience like a semi full of flint and gasoline, in the best possible way. And, I feel like you elevated the source material by building a fantastic web of context around that scene.
The second is in the way you took so much care in explaining how, at the moment of his deepest low, Cal chose to find a way to make something that seemed broken beyond repair, work better for himself than it was ever intended. That was the exact moment he internalized the the answer to his prior question. And, again, the way you framed it was masterful. It made me hear an imaginary orchestra swell into existence as he realized the his lightsaber wasn't truly broken, he just didn't understand the strengths of it's new form yet.
Anyway, like I said, I think a lot of my former colleagues can get a fair amount of mileage out of this. I'm an elder millennial, and many of my peers struggled to find reference media that could help them connect with younger clients. This is definitely in the ballpark of exactly what many of them needed when I was asked for help on this years ago. So, thank you for making it. I promise you that this is going to tangibly help people better connect and work through their own therapy journeys.
Deep reflection like this is why I keep coming back. Thank you Austin.