@lexa_power You took action. Action is the key. And you don't have to wait until you are angry in order to act. For instance, you could have used your NEED for peace and security as motivation to leave as soon as you realized were never going to get that need met where you were. It's like leaving the desert because you need water, rather than getting angry that there's no water in the desert. ❤
@@natashadickson4819 meh, i have less peace and security now in many ways due to finances so the grass isn’t always greener. Sometimes being alone sucks too. It’s a trade off. In this bad economy if you’re a single adult and you can’t find a job it’s really hard to stay out of homelessness so if i was back in my abusive relationship today I’d honestly just have stayed because being alone isn’t a cake walk either since I’m on the verge of homelessness.
Yes! And may I add that there is nothing worse than bottled up anger. This emotion not being able to be expressed can become dangerous not only to that person but to the people around them.
TRUTH! I have to check myself because of the anger I feel towards a relative. This person steals, etc. And just a few days ago she threw HER GARBAGE in the middle of the LR floor, refusing to pick it up! HOW do u think I feel?! She won't clean up. Won't even clean out the tub or sink out after herself! I cleaned the sink out recently. It would be stopped up with grease from burgers she made if I had not! She is Narcissistic and feels entitled! And No, it's neither her, nor my house, but we are allowed to live here- me because I took care of our Mother B4 she died. The crazy things she does is not born of an unsound mind. She's doing everything she can to make me leave calculatingly, so she will have this house to herself! One thing she Will Not do is jump on me. My daughter was here when she was about to First do that, and nipped it in the Bud!! I Always say, you NEVER KNOW, what goes on in a house behind closed doors! NO ONE can imagine what aIl I have gone through because of her selfishness. Just looking at her, you would not know the debt of her cruelty and inhumaness. You say leave? On a Social Security check, at 72, where would I go, what could I afford- but living in a scary crime ridden neighborhood! ONLY the Blood of Jesus, His Salvation, Mercy and Grace has, and still, keeps me. ♥️🙏
Some people also have an issue when you’re “too calm”… All emotions are valid, and should be respected…it’s the actions we should address. Being angry is valid. Hurting innocent people isn’t.
Absolutely. Honestly, Black women can't win either way, sadly. 🌻 Also, being angry doesn't automatically mean that you're hurting anyone at all. Sometimes you're angry because someone is hurting someone. That anger would call us to respond to the harm. Sometimes you're just feeling and expressing an emotion in a healthy way. Anger can also be calm. It doesn't have to always be explosive. 😊You know? Also Hiiiiiii! Thank you so much for watching!
00:05:30 Sermon! Girl! In all areas, they harness our energy! When we use it for ourselves, we're the threat! You're so eloquent. I feel seen in my existence 🎉
as a scorpio woman i have never been against my anger but everyone else in my life always has and this video just made me realize that it’s because i was being mistreated and calling people out on it. And how you say it’s a learned behavior?? ABSOLUTELY. my own mother calls me “mean” or says “she has an attitude” or “you’re acting ugly” when in reality i’m hurt. i’m hurt and the only way people see our feelings as black women is when it’s encoded in anger. so be it ❤️🔥
This! I can remember the first time a family member said something hurtful, I was 9 and I cried and I expressed that her words were hurtful. But I was gaslit into being told it was the truth and therefore wasn’t hurtful. This occurrence within the household made me someone who always questioned if I was as angry and argumentative as people in high-school told me I was. When I actually was just aware of the world and all the wrong things about it.
Wow I was just talking about anger with my therapist ❤ sheeesh emotions ! I was telling her I’m angry and yes anger wants to protect you or wants justice it’s saying “I didn’t deserve this “ !! Thank you 🙏🏾
Peace - Thank you for your platform, your perspective and the truth of our pain and what Black Women go through and that we deserve to be heard and healed. Blessings!
I thank you so much for making this video. I’ve grown up a very mild tempered person, always looking the other way and being the “bigger person” being the bigger person ALWAYS made me feel small. As of 3 years ago, for some reason, it all changed. My anger and rage has come to a level that I didn’t know existed. I literally thought I was losing it. Thank you for validating my anger. 🙏🏾
This!!!!! Pairing this experience with being Christian?? A way of life that promotes forgiving those who have wronged us. 😭😭😭 Im battling in my faith because of this. Because how am I to forgive those who have wronged me unprovoked? And after Ive verbally stated that I forgive them what do I do with all the pain and anger Im feeling?
@@AleciaReneceYes!!! I love it! So so happy for you that you have them to share love and peace with in your space. I share my home with a few plant babies as well, including these beauties here, and idk what I’d do without them. (I talk to them allll the time 🤭😂) about to go for a walk and enjoy nature, a blessed day indeed. I wish you a wonderful day as well. Thank you 🌳🌺🌸🌻🍀☀️💜
Sometimes anger is an expression of love and care. Black women are among the best of the human race. I really appreciate this information and the analysis of combating negativity about anger. So much to think about. Thought provoking video. Thanks for sharing.😊😊😊
Whew what a word! We don't honor our ancestors & civil rights leaders & women revolutionaries. Truth serum right here. This is literally a master class/therapy session. Thanks for validating us Sis. We need this type of messaging and collective everywhere ❤❤❤
Phew! I loved how you brought in examples of people using religion (in my case Christianity) as a way to pacify people who are in pain or angry. Because my belief shouldn’t negate the fact that what has happened to me is real and is heavy. Ive found it hard to build real Christian community because people often want me to say the popular things. The ‘right’ thing. Instead of being real about how prayer, fasting, reading of the word doesn’t magically erase your pain.
Great video ❤️🔥 we need to have this conversation. As a black woman in the deep south, I so appreciate this conversation .Rage is a spiritual gift the ability to honor yourself. I definitely relate to this message ,and my anger had been my motivation to never give up on me and my mission. Well spoken and worthy of sharing 👏🏾 thank u sis
Ahhhh!!! 😲🤎🤎🤎 Before I get to writing my notes ✍️🏽 THANK YOU so much (first of all, this picture is EVERYTHING 🙌🏽) I'm so glad you liked your button and beyond grateful we got to meet up 🎉🫂🙏🏽 Ok, back to the lessons 🤎
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!! I'm so glad you enjoy the pictuuuuure!!! I LOVE my button. 🥹🥰🫂🌺🌸 It was so sweet and thoughtful of you! 😭 I love you! Thank you so much for hearing ans seeing me. Sending you ALL the love and joy today. 🌺🌺🌺🥰🫂💃🏾
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Yeeeeeeeeeees! Audre Lorde has changed me in such beautiful ways. She's helped me love myself better. And thank you SO much!!!! I really hope this video is helpful and encouraging. I hope you're having a beautiful day 💛☺️🫂🌸🌺
Someone once said to me that, The angry black woman is a thing, as if black women are angry in general. As a black woman that really upset me because I’m sensitive, I value authenticity. Anyway , he stated that other races know how to suppress their feelings…
It's sad that black women in this country live under these circumstances and feel that it is the status quo for how black women are treated the world over, however, that is not the case. This is not the reality for black women living in Zimbabwe, or Ghana, or Kenya. When I traveled to Africa, I didn't have to police my blackness when I went to an upscale restaurant, or an expensive boutique. I didn't have to be self-conscious about my edges not being laid. I didn't have to worry about feeling uncomfortable and having eyes on me. I didn't feel like I was making a statement with my natural hair every time I walked out the door. I was the norm. . . the standard. There is another way for black women to be in the world when they live in countries where being black is the rule and not the exception. They don't have to go to the workplace and deal with the white privilege that their co-workers benefit from, or being labeled as the angry black woman every time they speak up about something regardless of how diplomatically they express it. Do you know how psychologically freeing that is There are so many black women who will never know that type of freedom. I am tired of living in this place and accepting all these labels and forms of discrimination as the norm when they don't have to be. It's gotten to the point where this system has even turned our own black men against us and they echo the same sentiments about us - we're too angry, too difficult, too independent, too masculine etc, etc. They can have that mess! I'm tired of living in this psychotic, schizophrenic, gaslighting, racist society. Life is too short to spend it constantly fighting against this BS. It is impossible for a black woman to live in this society without having RAGE. Some of us walk around looking expensive and put together with every strand of hair in place and we smile, hand out compliments and speak in our happy girl tone to make ourselves seem non-threatening wile deep down inside, rage is stewing. Unfortunately, all too often, that rage gets directed toward the wrong people, like our children and our spouses.
I have been that girl and then into a woman that hated or had anger towards injustices from human, to environmental, economical, racial to animal rights. Ive been told I was too sensitive and cared too much. Black Women are not allowed to be angry and / or ask for assistance or space to express it.
THAT PART! I agree 100%! Please do not stop! You are beautiful inside and out my Sista! Thank you for being who GOD created you to be. I'm just now learning this myself!
Okayyy sis! It’s givingg aesthetic with these plants 😍 loving the longer videos! I was just thinking about this the other day, we are the only demographic that can’t be angry and emote fully 🙄 but I’m learning to feel my emotions and express them anyway! 🤍
Thank you for this! I am currently experiencing harm in the workplace and have tried to subdue my emotions out of respectability politics and the fear of being labeled as difficult. Recently I’ve accepted, I am angry. And rightfully so. And that anger has made me finally accept that it is time to go! lol. And I’m now moving forward to get out of that place of violence and manipulation. Anger, when used to our benefit, makes change happen. Bless you and all that you do
I have been needing this entire video because I feel a type of exhaustion brought on by unreleased anger and despair but from @ 29.21min i straight up said I love you. We have got to stop calling things what its not.
This is such a deep and powerful message, I've actually needed to hear this for so long now not knowing what to do with my rage of how society works and is going, besides subdue it quietly. Thank you so much for sharing your love with all of us. Please continue your videos, they are so very mentally and soulfully enriching.❤
I agree with everything said. I find myself all alone in the workplace. There are very few ADOS in healthcare and I don't find support or community with the few in that workplace. I have to take care of myself first.
I absolutely love this. Found this while I was looking for a healthy way to release anger as a black woman. A thing on fire also: I used to be a wildland firefighter. And we’d section off various forests and plots of land to burn down so that the area can grow anew and be better and more fertile than before. So fire can also be used in that sense too. I immediately thought of that hearing you refer to anger as fire.
Every time I’m at an empasse I end up seeing you talk about a place I’m in emotionally. Thank you for speaking up, your voice is helping us all heal 🤗❤️
Sometimes I think maybe I should have become a lawyer since I've been described as argumentative and combative.... especially by Black men and that hurts extra as I am a Black woman. I expect this from others, but not from our own...
Blk males are the biggest whyt supremacists outside of whyt people. So you should expect it from them. They have shown us through the media, entertainment, and business that they control that they value other women above blk women. Blk women are just being obtuse when it comes to blk males. Why can't we admit that they significantly make our lives miserable in this already depressing life. Black women, black males are your biggest OPPS!
Thank you for this video Alecia, I came to the realization that it is healthy to angry, but not to stay angry and that’s the issue, still needing to stay anger, because the issues present are constantly ignore or dismissed, thank you for this!👏🏽
Came here from your newsletter. Love how it uses our names - “your anger loves you, Lexa,” in the subject line, nearly brought me to tears. I know I’m technically not your target audience as I’m a white woman, and so I know I’ll never understand the trauma of being labeled as an “angry Black woman,” and i acknowledge that’s an injustice and an experience I just won’t be able to personally understand. However, I have had multiple self deletion attempts and have always struggled with mental health issues, and have had two abusive marriages. My last ex husband was a gaslighter. So whenever I would get angry I was always called “crazy” and told maybe I should go talk to a therapist or something - when the things I was getting angry about were normal things that anyone would get angry about! (Physical abuse towards me, him not contributing to the finances, him not pitching in with grocery shopping and eating all my food, him constantly withholding intimacy as a form of emotional coercion, etc). So this video and this concept is EXTREMELY validating for me to know that anger is okay and sometimes even necessary! After that abusive marriage and other abusive relationships, and having grown up with a physically abusive father with extreme anger management, I had become a doormat who was afraid to ever get angry for fear that I’d be sent to a mental hospital due to my past history. It’s a really scary place to be when you feel you have to hold all your emotions inside. I attended anger management classes in 2015 and it was LIFE CHANGING. It was just something my internship company offered at the time and I signed up to get out of real work for a few hours a week. LIFE CHANGING. I highly recommend it for any women- don’t let stigma stop you from doing something to better yourself emotionally! Thank you so much for this validating video ❤ I have so much more I’d like to add because this topic is so close to my heart and there’s very few women-centered spaces to discuss anger, but I know this comment is getting too long 😅 but would you ever consider maybe hosting a woman’s zoom meeting to discuss these topics, specifically anger? I think it would be really enlightening for all of us who follow your channel ❤👯♀️
I'm glad that you are managing your mental health issues and your trauma and your anger and that you got help but respectfully speaking, what has your comment have to do with the video, which is about "Black women's anger" even if you do relate to it ? It honestly is too common for non-Black women, especially White women, to see personal topics and spaces that are only for or about Black women and centre themselves in those topics and spaces that did not even involve them, instead of leaving it alone or just silently supporting and listening where it is appropriate to do such , which is something that has been demonstrated historically as well. This not only is disrespectful of Black women's boundaries but it also shows a sense of entitlement of having to be at the centre of everything or to be attached to it, especially where Black women are concerned. Not to mention the trauma dumping as well.
So in future, do be mindful of this when you encounter online personal spaces and discussions that are about and for Black women only and discuss your matters in more appropriate forums.
Please add The Laws of Power to your reading list. Your insight is great and this book will give you perspective on "they" have been taught to act and move.
Beyond race, I feel that people try to suppress the so-called negative aspects of themselves, and only embrace the positive. People will Suppressed anger, jealousy, fear, etc. but one of the hardest things that people can do is love themselves, which means accept their humanity. You’re gonna be days when you’re angry, they’re gonna be days when you’re happy, they’re gonna be days when you’re lazy, there’s gonna be days when you’re motivated and productive. People have to learn to accept and love all the aspects of themselves, the good and the bad.
I remember that I went to a Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Hall worship place the Jehovah's Witnesses black people is men and women they're very happy and peaceful people they look like they don't get angry alot or not at all they get along with each other and they don't get into any drama at all with each other at all
I LOVE YOU. Is that weird to say? Ahhh! 🫢 I’ve never seen someone on the internet I resonate so deeply with and I’m beyond grateful for you. You’re so precious. Thank you girl.
"I see nothing wrong with a black woman being angry if it means saving lives, including her own." THAT PART. THIS WOMAN JUST SPEAK BARS SO CASUALLY.
Every single word. Our anger is a call out against YOUR injustice, YOUR lack of compassion. Why are YOU doing that? I'm allowed to be upset!
Ignoring the dozens of videos showing up in the "What's next" that disrespect black women and our anger.
@@yes_anotherone3260honestly I think that’s the game I’ve been sensing lately. Who can make the black woman angry.
Anger is at the top of the emotional scale. It moves thimgs. Depressed is lower
"it moves things" I love this so much. 🌸🌺☺️
That’s so true! Depression caused me to stay in my abusive and unhealthy relationships, while anger gave me the motivation to make changes. ❤
@lexa_power You took action. Action is the key. And you don't have to wait until you are angry in order to act. For instance, you could have used your NEED for peace and security as motivation to leave as soon as you realized were never going to get that need met where you were. It's like leaving the desert because you need water, rather than getting angry that there's no water in the desert. ❤
@@natashadickson4819 meh, i have less peace and security now in many ways due to finances so the grass isn’t always greener. Sometimes being alone sucks too. It’s a trade off. In this bad economy if you’re a single adult and you can’t find a job it’s really hard to stay out of homelessness so if i was back in my abusive relationship today I’d honestly just have stayed because being alone isn’t a cake walk either since I’m on the verge of homelessness.
Why is it always the responsibility of the harmed person to remain respectful?
THIS! 😤😮💨
Balancing the realisation that I don’t have to be kind and respectful to the people who have harmed me and being a Christian is reaaallly hard rn.
Yes! And may I add that there is nothing worse than bottled up anger. This emotion not being able to be expressed can become dangerous not only to that person but to the people around them.
Thiiiiiiiiis! This is SO important 🙏🏾🌸🌺🌱 thank you so much for sharing this with us. We need this.
TRUTH! I have to check myself because of the anger I feel towards a relative. This person steals, etc. And just a few days ago she threw HER GARBAGE in the middle of the LR floor, refusing to pick it up! HOW do u think I feel?! She won't clean up. Won't even clean out the tub or sink out after herself! I cleaned the sink out recently. It would be stopped up with grease from burgers she made if I had not! She is Narcissistic and feels entitled! And No, it's neither her, nor my house, but we are allowed to live here- me because I took care of our Mother B4 she died. The crazy things she does is not born of an unsound mind. She's doing everything she can to make me leave calculatingly, so she will have this house to herself! One thing she Will Not do is jump on me. My daughter was here when she was about to First do that, and nipped it in the Bud!! I Always say, you NEVER KNOW, what goes on in a house behind closed doors! NO ONE can imagine what aIl I have gone through because of her selfishness. Just looking at her, you would not know the debt of her cruelty and inhumaness. You say leave? On a Social Security check, at 72, where would I go, what could I afford- but living in a scary crime ridden neighborhood! ONLY the Blood of Jesus, His Salvation, Mercy and Grace has, and still, keeps me. ♥️🙏
As a 26 year old black woman who's dismissed by everyone including black women I thank you this video was made for me!❤❤❤
Some people also have an issue when you’re “too calm”…
All emotions are valid, and should be respected…it’s the actions we should address. Being angry is valid. Hurting innocent people isn’t.
Absolutely. Honestly, Black women can't win either way, sadly. 🌻 Also, being angry doesn't automatically mean that you're hurting anyone at all. Sometimes you're angry because someone is hurting someone. That anger would call us to respond to the harm. Sometimes you're just feeling and expressing an emotion in a healthy way. Anger can also be calm. It doesn't have to always be explosive. 😊You know? Also Hiiiiiii! Thank you so much for watching!
Sister, you make us so proud. Keep shining your light and truth. Sending you love.
00:05:30 Sermon! Girl!
In all areas, they harness our energy! When we use it for ourselves, we're the threat!
You're so eloquent. I feel seen in my existence 🎉
Yeeeeeeeeeees! In ALL areas!!! 🫂🥹🌸🌺☺️💛🌱 I'm so grateful for you and your passion. It is INSPIRING. I'm sending you so much loooooove!!!
as a scorpio woman i have never been against my anger but everyone else in my life always has and this video just made me realize that it’s because i was being mistreated and calling people out on it. And how you say it’s a learned behavior?? ABSOLUTELY. my own mother calls me “mean” or says “she has an attitude” or “you’re acting ugly” when in reality i’m hurt. i’m hurt and the only way people see our feelings as black women is when it’s encoded in anger. so be it ❤️🔥
This! I can remember the first time a family member said something hurtful, I was 9 and I cried and I expressed that her words were hurtful. But I was gaslit into being told it was the truth and therefore wasn’t hurtful. This occurrence within the household made me someone who always questioned if I was as angry and argumentative as people in high-school told me I was. When I actually was just aware of the world and all the wrong things about it.
I'm a Scorpio
Wow I was just talking about anger with my therapist ❤ sheeesh emotions ! I was telling her I’m angry and yes anger wants to protect you or wants justice it’s saying “I didn’t deserve this “ !! Thank you 🙏🏾
Peace - Thank you for your platform, your perspective and the truth of our pain and what Black Women go through and that we deserve to be heard and healed. Blessings!
This is deep, thank you for this message.
Thank you so much for hearing my heart! 🥹🫂💛🌸 It really means a lot to me!
I thank you so much for making this video. I’ve grown up a very mild tempered person, always looking the other way and being the “bigger person” being the bigger person ALWAYS made me feel small. As of 3 years ago, for some reason, it all changed. My anger and rage has come to a level that I didn’t know existed. I literally thought I was losing it. Thank you for validating my anger. 🙏🏾
Asé
This!!!!! Pairing this experience with being Christian?? A way of life that promotes forgiving those who have wronged us. 😭😭😭 Im battling in my faith because of this. Because how am I to forgive those who have wronged me unprovoked? And after Ive verbally stated that I forgive them what do I do with all the pain and anger Im feeling?
Yay!! Money trees and snake plants!🌱 🪴 💜
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! Thank you so much for celebrating them. 🥹🥰💛🌱 I'm so proud of my plant babies 😻 I hope you're having a beautiful day!!!
@@AleciaReneceYes!!! I love it! So so happy for you that you have them to share love and peace with in your space. I share my home with a few plant babies as well, including these beauties here, and idk what I’d do without them. (I talk to them allll the time 🤭😂) about to go for a walk and enjoy nature, a blessed day indeed. I wish you a wonderful day as well. Thank you 🌳🌺🌸🌻🍀☀️💜
Sometimes anger is an expression of love and care. Black women are among the best of the human race. I really appreciate this information and the analysis of combating negativity about anger. So much to think about. Thought provoking video. Thanks for sharing.😊😊😊
Whew what a word! We don't honor our ancestors & civil rights leaders & women revolutionaries. Truth serum right here. This is literally a master class/therapy session. Thanks for validating us Sis. We need this type of messaging and collective everywhere ❤❤❤
What a beautiful message! Blessings, Love & Light to you… 💫
I'm SO glad you enjoyed this! 🥹🥰💛🫂🌸 I thank you for the blessing, and send blessings your way as well! Much love and joy to you!!!
This was beautiful. Thank you❤
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for even watching. 🥹🌸🌺💛 I really appreciate you. Much love and joy to you!
Phew! I loved how you brought in examples of people using religion (in my case Christianity) as a way to pacify people who are in pain or angry. Because my belief shouldn’t negate the fact that what has happened to me is real and is heavy. Ive found it hard to build real Christian community because people often want me to say the popular things. The ‘right’ thing. Instead of being real about how prayer, fasting, reading of the word doesn’t magically erase your pain.
I yearn for the day… Amen!
Yeeeeeeeeeees! 🥹🫂💛🌸🌺
Thank you for this message. I needed this .❤
Thank you so much for hearing my heart ☺️💛🌺🌸🫂 Much love and joy to you! 🥰
Great video ❤️🔥 we need to have this conversation. As a black woman in the deep south, I so appreciate this conversation .Rage is a spiritual gift the ability to honor yourself. I definitely relate to this message ,and my anger had been my motivation to never give up on me and my mission. Well spoken and worthy of sharing 👏🏾 thank u sis
Channels like yours is the reason I love the internet‼️ 🫶🏾🫶🏾
Oh wow! 🥹 I am HUMBLED! I am so glad you enjoy this space. Thank you so much for being here! Much love and joy to you!
Ahhhh!!! 😲🤎🤎🤎 Before I get to writing my notes ✍️🏽 THANK YOU so much (first of all, this picture is EVERYTHING 🙌🏽) I'm so glad you liked your button and beyond grateful we got to meet up 🎉🫂🙏🏽 Ok, back to the lessons 🤎
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!! I'm so glad you enjoy the pictuuuuure!!! I LOVE my button. 🥹🥰🫂🌺🌸 It was so sweet and thoughtful of you! 😭 I love you! Thank you so much for hearing ans seeing me. Sending you ALL the love and joy today. 🌺🌺🌺🥰🫂💃🏾
@AleciaRenece Ok GOOD!! ☺️🤎 I love you too! So grateful for this divine sisterhood 🙌🏽✨️ OF COURSE and LIKEWISE. Sending you the same right back 🤎🫂
Good morning have a blessed day
Good morniiiiiing!!!! Thank you so much!!! And yeeees! I sincerely hope you have an absolutely beautiful day! Much love and joy to you always! 🫂🌸🥰🌺💛☺️
Just started watching. Love the work of Audrey Lorde! This whole topic and video are so needed. Thank you.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Yeeeeeeeeeees! Audre Lorde has changed me in such beautiful ways. She's helped me love myself better. And thank you SO much!!!! I really hope this video is helpful and encouraging. I hope you're having a beautiful day 💛☺️🫂🌸🌺
Someone once said to me that, The angry black woman is a thing, as if black women are angry in general. As a black woman that really upset me because I’m sensitive, I value authenticity. Anyway , he stated that other races know how to suppress their feelings…
It's sad that black women in this country live under these circumstances and feel that it is the status quo for how black women are treated the world over, however, that is not the case.
This is not the reality for black women living in Zimbabwe, or Ghana, or Kenya. When I traveled to Africa, I didn't have to police my blackness when I went to an upscale restaurant, or an expensive boutique. I didn't have to be self-conscious about my edges not being laid. I didn't have to worry about feeling uncomfortable and having eyes on me. I didn't feel like I was making a statement with my natural hair every time I walked out the door. I was the norm. . . the standard. There is another way for black women to be in the world when they live in countries where being black is the rule and not the exception. They don't have to go to the workplace and deal with the white privilege that their co-workers benefit from, or being labeled as the angry black woman every time they speak up about something regardless of how diplomatically they express it. Do you know how psychologically freeing that is There are so many black women who will never know that type of freedom.
I am tired of living in this place and accepting all these labels and forms of discrimination as the norm when they don't have to be. It's gotten to the point where this system has even turned our own black men against us and they echo the same sentiments about us - we're too angry, too difficult, too independent, too masculine etc, etc. They can have that mess! I'm tired of living in this psychotic, schizophrenic, gaslighting, racist society. Life is too short to spend it constantly fighting against this BS. It is impossible for a black woman to live in this society without having RAGE. Some of us walk around looking expensive and put together with every strand of hair in place and we smile, hand out compliments and speak in our happy girl tone to make ourselves seem non-threatening wile deep down inside, rage is stewing. Unfortunately, all too often, that rage gets directed toward the wrong people, like our children and our spouses.
So true❤
Thanks!
I feel seen =, love it
Alecia you have been encouraging, motivating, open, and all around the sista girl that speaks her truth
❤❤❤
💛🥰🫂🌺🌸☺️🌱
I have been that girl and then into a woman that hated or had anger towards injustices from human, to environmental, economical, racial to animal rights. Ive been told I was too sensitive and cared too much. Black Women are not allowed to be angry and / or ask for assistance or space to express it.
What if I cry Alecia !?! You are so beautiful for this. I just love you
THAT PART! I agree 100%! Please do not stop! You are beautiful inside and out my Sista! Thank you for being who GOD created you to be. I'm just now learning this myself!
You are on 🔥 today and your content is worth supporting and appreciation
Okayyy sis! It’s givingg aesthetic with these plants 😍 loving the longer videos! I was just thinking about this the other day, we are the only demographic that can’t be angry and emote fully 🙄 but I’m learning to feel my emotions and express them anyway! 🤍
This has been one of best sermons I've heard in years!❤❤❤
Thank you for this! I am currently experiencing harm in the workplace and have tried to subdue my emotions out of respectability politics and the fear of being labeled as difficult. Recently I’ve accepted, I am angry. And rightfully so. And that anger has made me finally accept that it is time to go! lol. And I’m now moving forward to get out of that place of violence and manipulation. Anger, when used to our benefit, makes change happen. Bless you and all that you do
I have been needing this entire video because I feel a type of exhaustion brought on by unreleased anger and despair but from @ 29.21min i straight up said I love you. We have got to stop calling things what its not.
This is such a deep and powerful message, I've actually needed to hear this for so long now not knowing what to do with my rage of how society works and is going, besides subdue it quietly. Thank you so much for sharing your love with all of us. Please continue your videos, they are so very mentally and soulfully enriching.❤
Bless you for this wealth of content. I just found your channel yesterday and I’m already so grateful.
Your words inspire me. Yes...the need to "befriend" our anger. Thank you!❤
Gratitude💗
I agree with everything said. I find myself all alone in the workplace. There are very few ADOS in healthcare and I don't find support or community with the few in that workplace. I have to take care of myself first.
All Facts❤💯
Literally, I have been watching your videos since last night.
Finally words are meeting feelings, throw everything that we have ever known away!!!
Thank you, thankyou, thankyou. You are so on point. This video means so much to me.
❤ anger can be used for good!!!
I absolutely love this. Found this while I was looking for a healthy way to release anger as a black woman. A thing on fire also: I used to be a wildland firefighter. And we’d section off various forests and plots of land to burn down so that the area can grow anew and be better and more fertile than before. So fire can also be used in that sense too. I immediately thought of that hearing you refer to anger as fire.
I immediately feel SO validated. Thank you for this. 🙏🏽
Every time I’m at an empasse I end up seeing you talk about a place I’m in emotionally. Thank you for speaking up, your voice is helping us all heal 🤗❤️
I agree with every single thing you said. I love that you posted this. Thank you.
Alecia!! You are such a refreshing reflection of God’s love for us. I pray your territory continues to enlarge
Miss Alicia Renece.....you are so underrated. Your content always iterates issues and topics i could never express so well
You are greatly appreciated
Sometimes I think maybe I should have become a lawyer since I've been described as argumentative and combative.... especially by Black men and that hurts extra as I am a Black woman. I expect this from others, but not from our own...
Me too to… it’s okay. Own it and use it for good. 😊
Blk males are the biggest whyt supremacists outside of whyt people. So you should expect it from them. They have shown us through the media, entertainment, and business that they control that they value other women above blk women. Blk women are just being obtuse when it comes to blk males. Why can't we admit that they significantly make our lives miserable in this already depressing life. Black women, black males are your biggest OPPS!
😂 *Enters the chat*
🤣😂🥰🫂💛🌸 I'm SO happy you're here. Your passion is actually really encouraging. Much love and joy to you!!!
I am SO glad I found your channel ❤
Thank you for this video Alecia, I came to the realization that it is healthy to angry, but not to stay angry and that’s the issue, still needing to stay anger, because the issues present are constantly ignore or dismissed, thank you for this!👏🏽
Came here from your newsletter. Love how it uses our names - “your anger loves you, Lexa,” in the subject line, nearly brought me to tears. I know I’m technically not your target audience as I’m a white woman, and so I know I’ll never understand the trauma of being labeled as an “angry Black woman,” and i acknowledge that’s an injustice and an experience I just won’t be able to personally understand. However, I have had multiple self deletion attempts and have always struggled with mental health issues, and have had two abusive marriages. My last ex husband was a gaslighter. So whenever I would get angry I was always called “crazy” and told maybe I should go talk to a therapist or something - when the things I was getting angry about were normal things that anyone would get angry about! (Physical abuse towards me, him not contributing to the finances, him not pitching in with grocery shopping and eating all my food, him constantly withholding intimacy as a form of emotional coercion, etc). So this video and this concept is EXTREMELY validating for me to know that anger is okay and sometimes even necessary! After that abusive marriage and other abusive relationships, and having grown up with a physically abusive father with extreme anger management, I had become a doormat who was afraid to ever get angry for fear that I’d be sent to a mental hospital due to my past history. It’s a really scary place to be when you feel you have to hold all your emotions inside.
I attended anger management classes in 2015 and it was LIFE CHANGING. It was just something my internship company offered at the time and I signed up to get out of real work for a few hours a week. LIFE CHANGING. I highly recommend it for any women- don’t let stigma stop you from doing something to better yourself emotionally!
Thank you so much for this validating video ❤ I have so much more I’d like to add because this topic is so close to my heart and there’s very few women-centered spaces to discuss anger, but I know this comment is getting too long 😅 but would you ever consider maybe hosting a woman’s zoom meeting to discuss these topics, specifically anger? I think it would be really enlightening for all of us who follow your channel ❤👯♀️
I'm glad that you are managing your mental health issues and your trauma and your anger and that you got help but respectfully speaking, what has your comment have to do with the video, which is about "Black women's anger" even if you do relate to it ?
It honestly is too common for non-Black women, especially White women, to see personal topics and spaces that are only for or about Black women and centre themselves in those topics and spaces that did not even involve them, instead of leaving it alone or just silently supporting and listening where it is appropriate to do such , which is something that has been demonstrated historically as well. This not only is disrespectful of Black women's boundaries but it also shows a sense of entitlement of having to be at the centre of everything or to be attached to it, especially where Black women are concerned. Not to mention the trauma dumping as well.
So in future, do be mindful of this when you encounter online personal spaces and discussions that are about and for Black women only and discuss your matters in more appropriate forums.
Thank you so much
Amazing video
Thank you
Love this
Please add The Laws of Power to your reading list. Your insight is great and this book will give you perspective on "they" have been taught to act and move.
...and..., when angry, pose questions - as many as necessary...
Thank you 💫💜
Beyond race, I feel that people try to suppress the so-called negative aspects of themselves, and only embrace the positive. People will Suppressed anger, jealousy, fear, etc. but one of the hardest things that people can do is love themselves, which means accept their humanity. You’re gonna be days when you’re angry, they’re gonna be days when you’re happy, they’re gonna be days when you’re lazy, there’s gonna be days when you’re motivated and productive. People have to learn to accept and love all the aspects of themselves, the good and the bad.
Speak a word !
🙏🏾
❤
Half of the world needs attest to have harmed humanity and they have answers to give to the creator of life and humanity himself, Jehovah.
👏👏👏 🎤
I remember that I went to a Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Hall worship place the Jehovah's Witnesses black people is men and women they're very happy and peaceful people they look like they don't get angry alot or not at all they get along with each other and they don't get into any drama at all with each other at all
promo sm 😪
Such a powerful message and the plants added a lovely touch! 🌿🫶🏾
"Righteous Indignation"
Alecia you always cover the topics I need discussed in community. My soul heals 💛💛in this space you have created. Thank you my sister
Wow. Taking this video very slow. 🪡
I’m so grateful to have found you and your content ❤🫂
OMG Thank you for tagging my channel 🎉😃🥰🦋💕💕👏🏾👏🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
I LOVE YOU. Is that weird to say? Ahhh! 🫢 I’ve never seen someone on the internet I resonate so deeply with and I’m beyond grateful for you. You’re so precious. Thank you girl.
Thanks!