7 More Gun-Free Tactics To Defend Your Home
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- Опубликовано: 30 май 2024
- When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion. If that ever happens to you, use one of these foolproof gun-free methods of defending yourself.
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See the original 7 tactics here: • 7 Gun-Free Tactics To ...
#comedy #babylonbee #satire #defense 
Приколы
A flower? Without first making sure the alleged "burgler" isn't allergic? How cruel and insensitive. You'd probably be held responsible for medical treatment and assessed penalities for lost work. You can't just flagrantly wave flowers around. They're dangerous.
#BanAssaultFlowers
😂😂😂😂😂😂
That flower was a protected species. 5 year minimum for picking it (on YOUR property).
People don't think anymore..
I would suggest a plastic flower, but that might create a scene about the climate crisis
“Keep voting for Democrats” (puts up a picture of Mitt Romney) 😂😂
I totally missed that! Nice catch.
@@danielwessel9884 I, also.
I literally lol’d at that part.
But where's the lie?
🤣
I'm offended that you assumed the burglar was a bad guy. Might be good, might be a gal. How dare ye.
Let's not forget about the possible misgendering of said burglar.
Yes, they them messed up big time when they assumed the burglar's gender.
@@anthonyhansel9175 only white men can be portrayed as bad, remember?
Or a unicorn
Yeah, schlee is only stealing from you because they want your stuff. How rude of you to stop them. Be more generous.
Also throwing a handful of glitter can temporarily blind the burglar allowing you time to call a social worker. ☝️
Interpretive dance can also bedazzle and entertain the burglar into recognizing the common humanity between the two of you. They may even monetarily tip you for your efforts!
😂😂
Oh please stop 😂😂 I just can't..🤣🤣🤣😭
@@KH-rt3efSo, so funny! This group of commentators are so unbelievably clever and scathing I'm going to be laughing into next week. Thank you 😅
EXCELLENT! Ha Ha Ha
The left doesn't hate guns. They hate YOU having guns.
Yeah because you all are so annoying with them. Like babies with pacifiers. And always with the ammosexual agendas too. Nonstop. You make guns almost uncool the way you act
Because they know who the threat is to their fascist takeover of America.
Remember guns kill people, people don't kill people.
Getagunbud. Chootem libmfcs
This video is so good, I wanna Like it ten times.
Same as Democrats voted ten times for Joe.
Let’s not forget how safe Detroit is. Especially at night. Just heaven.
Obviously the BB hates the Lions, Pistons & Tigers.
Ad a lifetime 😢 resident of Michigan I approve of this message
reminds of this one image of Santa saying “Damn, I gotta go to Detroit.” while putting on a ballistic vest
To stay safe in Detroit, I go no farther East than Lansing.
Your next residence will shortly BE heaven if you go to Detroit at night.
"My name is Travis
And I'm here to say
That robbing homes
Is super.....not good"
interesting rhyme scheme!
Gay🎉
Synonyms?😂
@@jeskahaley9616could have been not okay too lol
@@jeskahaley9616that is automatically where my mind went! Yet we can't damage someone that emotionally by... rhyming 😆
He could have just said "is not okay." That's actually what I thought he was going to say.
Just tell them that you don't consent to being shot.
I just have a “gun free zone” sign outside my house. It makes it to where if they do enter my home, they are unable to do it with their firearm. This significantly decreases any danger 1000 fold, as they will be unarmed at that point.
Here in Canada, we’re not allowed to defend ourselves against home invaders. So, in order to not get injured by the perpetrators, we’ll make them a snack and carry the goods out of the house for them while they eat and relax. And then we hope they don’t sue us for something offensive we might have said. Oh, did I mention that we have a left wing liberal government here?
Trudeau is like a younger version of Sleepy Joe. I bet he's glad there's no pesky 2nd Amendment.
Eh?
Too bad eh sneak down to the USA no wall there
What Canada has is WEF minion government... Trudolf is a WEF "young global leader" and half the parliament is also WEF minions. WEF works to enslave 99,9% of the world population and is hell bent on making the entire world into a paradise for the 0,1% hyper rich.
@@robertsims3759Justin TURDeau*
I was sure Portland would be on that list of "safe" cities.
In this socialist utopia, there are just too many safe cities to list.
New Orleans also
Portland is still in the top 10.
I'm not even American (Aussie here) and I was wondering what about Seattle, WA?
Unfortunately, Portland has been under martial law for 3 years and no one actually knows how unsafe it is... no one has made it out alive!
I just have a doormat that says "The Neighbors Don't Like Guns."
I don’t have to run faster than the bear I just have to run faster than the neighbors 😂.
@@richierich831🤣
😂😂 Nice!
I have a "no guns" sticker on my front window. The sticker immediately below it has a cage, cuffs, and ball gag surrounded by a green circle. It cost a few bucks to have printed, but I think helping people consider their life choices is worth it.
jok bad
I am watching the world burn from the mountains of Wyoming.
There is a handgun on my nightstand, and a rifle in my closet.
I am strangely at peace.
Same.
You wouldn't happen to be a Christian and single would you😅? Because that is kind of 🔥 😊
But how many rounds of ammo do you have? I can't sleep at night without anything less than 5,000 rounds for every caliber firearm I own, and 1,000 rounds for every chambering I don't yet own but will soon collect them all.
@@umaikakudo ,thank goodness for the sponsor of this video!
Do you need any Laborers on that plot of yours? As a single mother ( I was married and not single by choice) of two beautiful and still sane, Republican, based teenagers I would give up my job as a 911 operator in Milwaukee Wisconsin (which is no better than our neighbors in Chicago, just smaller) to get them away from this dangerous, toxic place, even if that meant hard physical labor and shoveling horse manure! Just saying...
My alarm is Kamala Harris laughing. Works every time.
That is just . . . awful
Indeed, subjecting someone who has come to rob or kill you to a Kamala Kackle could result in your losing everything in a lawsuit. @@handbananaistherapist642
The thief may be evil... but you're a monster!
Well, that sleep-preventive method would get you up really early in the morning.
To harsh, that is just to harsh....
Also, if you hang a no gun zone sign in your front yard, nobody will try to kill or rob you......All criminals, follow all rules, all the time....
Just think about it for a moment... How poor is your life, the life in your country if the only thing that is stopping criminals from killing or robbing you is the firearms you might have...
Does your government even do something to protect you, and to make the wellness of your fellow Americans good enough, so they won't need to rob their neighbours?..
Pathetic place you are living in.
@@familytvbox5218blah blah blah blah blah
😂😂 They won't know what hit em when they see that sign!
They missed posting a "Safe space, no guns allowed" sign on your door. The burglar will have to return to his car to put they/them gun into a secure lockbox
I love that pic of Mitt in there with the Dems. Nice jab Bee!
The ammo ad at the end triggered me! I need a safe space & a hug.
I'll give you a hug in exchange for ammo
Triggered. I see what you did there.
Here, take my social media account. It has 30 second shorts for you
@@technofrenzy777 A truly unintended pun. I was just triggered. OKAY?
@@jonathanlong6987
Like KPOW KPOW KPOW triggered?
You forgot to mention putting up several Gun Free Zone signs.
They work so well in the New York subways that the city is bringing in the State guard to infringe on all citizens 4th amendment rights and 2nd amendment rights.
That was in the first video, this is even more ideas
Yes that will stop him dead in his tracks
But that only works if the robber is armed with a gun. Totally ineffective if they have any other sort of weapon.
Put up a sign that says Jehova's Witnesses, lives here. Knock and we will let you in.
@@toldyouso5588😂
“Most of the time this trick works, every time”
🤣🤣🤣
Remember to ask the alleged "burgler" what they identify as if the respond "The homeowner" make sure to affirm their identify and give them free access to all there new possessions.
I tried these, but the bad guy drove off in his Lincoln Riley with all my stuff.
That's ILLEGAL. I hope you told the pigs, so it's not UNDOCUMENTED
That's really not funny, you're not making a joke at his expense you're making it at hers
Assumption of “Guy” as a pronoun!? 😮
FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS youre just a lying republican!
@@larrydotson2625it's a little funny in a 'ooooh ouch' kinda way. Dark, dark humor is used not to be 'ha-ha' funny, it's meant to be so ironically true you can't help but to either laugh or cry and it literally says the quiet part out loud, the absolute insanity of an insane situation. The fact the commentator used 'Lincoln' instead of 'Laken' proves he knew he was intending to 'go there' and I say good on the poster. Words aren't violence and what he wrote puts it in such a glaring spotlight you are forced to confront the ridiculous atrocity of a situation. I am a 911 operator in Milwaukee WI or as we like to call it 'Little Chicago' and many of us use this type of 'humor' to get through. The poster using the Laken tragedy shows Laken has actually been at the forefront of his mind because it disturbed him (or her?) so much.
We can't censor speech no matter how uncomfortable.. that's how we got in this position in the first place
Peace ✌️
Right when I think I'm not going to learn anything new today, Babylon Bee teaches me something new.
The Babylon Bee is the Gift that keeps on giving🥰
I love the Babylon Bee.. they put woke Saturday night live to shame 😂😆🤣😆
Tell the robber you have rights and you’d like to speak to his supervisor to file a complaint.
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, and sure enough, she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
She gets so angry and opens her purse to take out the gun. But then, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "Don't do it honey".
The blonde yells back, "Shut up, you are next."
😂😅
Interesting story. It's not often you see a Biden voter with a firearm.
Screenshot!!!
Going to send this one to my ex!
👍✌️🥰😎
As a blond (now a grey), I approve of this message ..
Even my blonde wife thought that was hilarious!
"Snatching yo people up" 😂
"lock up to wife an kids!" Brings back memories man.
Hide yer kids, hide yer wives!
@@jenniferoakley9950And hide yourself because they're raping everything out here.. Or something like that 😂
And hide yer husband ‘cause they r*pin’ everybody out here.
Glad I’m not the only one who caught that reference. Lol 😂
You for got one. Just sing the following "No, no, dont touch me there. This is my no-no square"
I find that if you keep a diffuser, filled with the least popular essential oils near your door, you can deploy it at a moments notice if you hear an intruder! It’s sustainable & environmentally friendly!
Hummm. I think the flower trick played some part in the 60s.
Kent think why you said that.
@@geobloxmodels1186Ha! Well played.
That is a true state-ment.
"My name is Travis and I'm here to say that robbing homes is super... not good."😂
I thought he was going in a very different direction there lol..
That KILLED me! 🤣😂
That got me good
I felt that.
Kinda gay tbh
2:01 you know exactly what he was gonna say to rhyme with say 😂
You forgot the give them a book.
"Less guns, more books" 😂
I'm Joe Biden and I approve this...ah... you know the thing man.
You...you dog faced pony soldier! 😂
is it MINNESOTA?
I leave my doors wide open with a sign that says "Go ahead, make my day".
Brilliant!
😂😅
If Conker's Bad Fur Day taught me anything its who needs a gun when you have a Frying Pan? (They work particularly well on uppity Gargoyles.) That or you could get an opera obsessed piece of literal shit who's diet consists of sweet corn to guard your house. that also works.
Oooh wasn't there that case of someone trying to rob a GUN SHOP with a gun? Lmao that phase gives the same vibe.
Since emergency response is long distance I must dial a 1 before 911. I guess that is 1911. Much faster response.
I was talking to my brother in law who immigrated to Australia where he mentioned he wants to get a baseball bat for self defense.
I asked him if he should consider getting a gun or any other things. Long story short after I found out their laws, I am so grateful here in America specially in Texas, they give us the freedom and choices to protect ourselves from criminals
Yeah. Australia confiscated all guns a few years ago.
@@tahliasgoddaddy Yet they still shoot cats? What a backwards country.
No mere mortal can ever give you the right to self defense....that comes from Divine Authority.
@@lissainlenoir What are you yapping about?
@@lissainlenoir so if a criminal wants to do harm against me and my family I should just let them right?
Im a religious man myself but God did not teach us to be a pushover.
I loved the "swiper no swiping" part. I laughed out loud.😂
Same lol
@@akosreke8963Dora the explorer
You forgot BALTIMORE! 😂
Boom!
And Memphis, and Detroit, and St. Louis, and Austin
I'm from Bodymore, Murderland!
Heaven on earth right there
If only we all could. .🤮
I plan to put up “ Danger: Radiation Past This Point” signs as well around said property.
So you're inviting radiation to pass that point? Or did you mean "radiation _past_ this point"?
@@RockandrollNegro thx for the typo catch
I named my rifle mayor McCheese because when he comes out it’s hamburger time.
Seeing this as a person from the UK our armed criminals tend to turn up with knives or a base ball bat (yes the crims think that a baseball bat is some sort of GTA weapon). To protect ourselves you find anything to throw or hit them in self defence, but it must not kill them as the innocent homeowner is then classed as a murderer. Yet our government still allow people to arrive into the UK who come from countries where theft is a daily job.
You forgot to suggest calling the cops. It works great! (if they decide to show up before you get shot, and don't shoot you by accident)
"Call 911, and we'll get back to you in 5-7 business days-"
@@Mooskellunge "We're sorry the number you have dialed is no longer in service"
@@MooskellungeAnd they will want to send a survey to you to "see how we did".
Make sure all acorns are secured first!!!
@@user-mf4ni9ei3l Good one!
You're forgetting the best most surefire method of defending your home without a gun. Play a Nickelback album(Warning, be sure to have earplugs ready when using this method). No burglar will want to enter a house that's Blasting Nickelback music.
That nonchallant "Snatch yo people up" had me rolling
Perfectly paired with an ammo ad.
😀❤️🐝... "Ask to see the Home Intruder's Vaccine Card; since he is a "BAD GUY" - he will not have a Vaccine Card & will be forced to leave the premises. "...
All I have to say about any kind of gun restrictions/ control is out of my dead cold hands.
I'm allowed to own a cannon if I so choose.
by the sounds of your comment, you are a cannon short. i got you fam
You don't even need a 4473 (registration) for one either!
@@xFR34KEEx
What exactly are you trying to say James?
All weapons and explosives are covered under the 2A
@@Communistsarentpeople
Yeah and so your point being?
Do you have to have certain classifications to obtain certain those ordinances as a civilian.
Were you aware of that fact?
Truly appreciate all of the work, intelligence and creativity you put into this. Should have many laughing and crying at the same time. *NAILED IT!*
1:35 "Most of the time, this trick works...... every time." XD
I am disappointed that you failed to use the method we required to use at the community college when I taught. We were required to announce to every class the first class meeting of every semester.
"Nobody is allowed to set foot on college property if they are in possession."
Ir really made us secure to know that the "bad guys" would never come on campus with a gun because they knew no one was allowed on campus with a gun.
Thing is, in a lot of places the no gun rule only applies to faculty, students and staff - has no effect on the other 99.5% of people in the state.
@@jaadow77if a school says no guns on campus it applies to everyone. However if it's not a law it just means you will be trespassed, while students and faculty face additional sanctions. Not sure if any states actually prohibit guns on campus, they definitely do from public schools.
@@justforever96Yes, some states do prohibit on post-secondary campuses by law. In my case, my university does not post any signage. But HR policies affect campus people, but not visitors, legally.
It is a fact that no bad guy has ever disobeyed a “weapon-free zone” sign (I’m being facetious).
Swiper no swiping had me dead.😂😂😂💀
In our house, you have a Mossberg with a candy cane loadout:
1. Birdshot
2. 04 buckshot
3. 00 buckshot
4. Slug
5. Incendiary buckshot
Luckily for my lawyer, after two break-ins, both burglers learned after round 1 not to stick around. Because I started with lowest level of force (for a shotgun) judge almost immediately dismissed the case.
This is an awesome load out.
1. Please leave
2. I said "Please leave"
3. Leave
4. Leave now
5. You and all your related generations, past, present and future, will leave
I call BS. First nobody uses birdshot for home defence. If you believe the threat is lethal you use lethal force if you don't then you didn't fear for your life. Lawyers will tear you apart.
Second, nobody uses #4 and switches to 00, again if you feel your life is on the line you use 00.
Third, a slug? Really? Yeah no chance to miss or over penetrate if you are that bad of a shot with buckshot.
Fourth, incendiary buckshot? Okay so someone played too much Red Dead Redemption. Show me where you can get this incendiary buckshot, not the recipie from RDR.
Fifth, you said "after two break-ins, both burglers learned after round 1 not to stick around." and " judge almost immediately dismissed the case." So was it one case or two? Post the link to the case.
I love how at the end of the rap the burglar starts to level his gun at Travis, "Nah I ain't dealing with this crap"
The funniest part is that the criminal is white.
I was thinking the same thing, are we still pretending that crime is linked to economic status instead of genetics? Guess we're just ahead of the curve for noticing the world-wide patterns of behavior.
Finally, something said that is truly racist!
@@joeblow229 I hope that's sarcasm, or irony. Because it is not race or genetics that cause crime. Nor is it economic status. It's the degradation of morals, bad parenting, fatherlessness, and a society that glorifies cowards.
Don't forget that BB is based in Stalinfornia; had the perp not been played by a white guy their bodies would be getting stacked in the camps as we speak.
But he identifies as black so all good.
Thanks Bee. Always need more ammo
I no longer own any firearms, as they now self-identify as long distance hole punchers.
'Swiper, no swiping!'
'Oh man!'
😂😂😂
My IQ decreased temporarly under 75 after this movie
This is why the waited until after Super Tuesday to post the video.
I had no idea of all these options I had.
Thank you Babylon Bee, I can now sell my firearms to the gov't in a "buy-back" program and my family will be SO much better off.
Shouldn't have them to start with, only terrible evil people who want to kill other people would own a gun to start with. But we may forgive you now that you have seen the light, as soon as you admit your white guilt and privilege and swear to devote your life to anti-racism (aka racism).
😂
_Swiper no swiping!_
Truth. Works every time.
Just put up a "No firearms" Sign. The robber can't legally bring a firearm into your home, then.
Love the smooth transition to an advertisement for an ammo company, who knew the advertisement would be the only helpful part of the video...
Get your freedom seeds today! 😆😆
“Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm; but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.”
― T.S. Eliot
The KIR AMMO ad at the end was the cherry on top. 😂
2:52 it's an older reference, but it checks out
don't forget to tell the intruder "my lord is that legalllllll?"-nute gun rey
> "If you need X rounds to hunt, you're a bad hunter!"
A. The 2nd Amendment wasn't written because of a potential deer uprising, they'd just finished shrugging off an oppressive government
B. If you need to disarm people to lead, you suck at leading.
You forgot one, leave the keys to your car outside. No need to cause the car thief to have a break and enter charge added to his rap sheet. This is actual police advice given in Toronto Canada.
“My name is Travis and I’m here to say, robbing homes is super not good.” 🤣🤣🤣
I have knitting needles 🙄
😱
You might take out an 👁 eye!
@@IsabellaM._ 😇
Those 8 inch hat pins are so tight.
@@mariadelamain2520 🙂🤣
hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands too cause they snatchin yo people up.
The Antoine Dobson reference “snatching yo’ people up” climbing through windows. Great work.
"Or in more British ways, grab a knife and-" 3 hours later *SLAMS TABLE* "28 STAB WOUNDS!"
I could swear this used to be a satire channel. 😂
thats what this is lol
the very nice man at the front door gave me a free supply of lead for recycling, right into my center mass, and even took unsustainable diamond jewelry from my great grandmother right from my closet! he was so nice and kind.
He also eliminated your carbon footprint for you. So considerate!
@@shaventalz3092 what a great man indeed!
This is hilarious. The sarcasm is perfect.
an ammo ad, at the end of my gun-free home defense tactics video? Outrageous!!!
We love you BB
You at least know that when you vote for Democrats, that you are getting the best politicians that money can buy!
A friend of mine was arrested in NJ after using his evil shotgun to hold home invader until the police arrived!
It took over a year and thousands in attorney fees by the time it was over!
I totally get that “Swiper, no Swiping” reference!😂
We do not need guns at our house. We have social workers.
😆
😂 (I hope that was supposed to be a snarky comment!)
No need for police send in the clipboards!
I think I'll stick with a firearm.....But I LMAO at this !! Good job !
2:52 ... Climbin thru yo windows .. Snatchin yo people up" ha ahhhhhh. Nice!
LOL the sarcasm runs deep in this! 😂
The Whitehouse today announced the redistribution of private firearms. "As presiment, Americans have too many, Israel and Ukraine have too little. We must share the wealth." said Jim Brandon.
TOO bad. I lost mine during a hot air balloon ride .... 🤷🏼♀️
*Insert USSR theme here*
Ukraine is a communist dictatorship and they said they want war
Ah come on. But the government already taken so much of our money to redistribute it, how will I afford more guns?
Good. Better than Deepstate Donald am I right
Call the national guard, that's what New York does
“They climbing through yo window and snatching yo people up” that made me look up that viral ass video
As a Gen Z growing up with Dora the Explorer, that was priceless 🤣🤣
I've never felt so safe
YOu had me at "Swiper, NO Swiping!,"
"AW, MAN!" 😂💀
This is great!! Thank you Governor Newson for making CA safe and great to live 😂😂😂
Remember! .5% of the time this works every time
😅
Another tactic. If it's a White criminal threaten to call him a racist if it's a Black criminal threaten to call him antisemitic. He'll be so intimidated he'll beg for mercy.
We all know it's not White guys doing these home-invasions, right?
no black people are the "real Jews" didn't you listen to kanye and all Jews are white racists come on man don't be so racist
@@joeblow229According to the recently released Google AI program the white folks are the ONLY ones commiting crimes! 😅
LMBO!🤣 Sing kumbaya with the burgler🤣 I'm laughing so hard!
LOL 1:05 “reparations… and how!” Oh man that’s off sides
Agreed, the Desert Eagle is also so common among criminals.
These are great tips but im sticking with the home alone strategies! 🤔
Setting up all those traps is a lot of work though, but like he said at the beginning of the video it IS OUR moral obligation to the burglar to find other ways.
What a beautiful love and peace video!...and the final ad to make thugs spend their money on useless weapons is great!!!
This is GENIUS!!! 😂😂😂😂 Keep it up! Thank you!!
I have been doing it all wrong, I have been buying a gun every time Biden said not to. 🤔
The secret is they really don't mind - they can use the tax money.
@@dougearnest7590 That is true they get 11% that is suppose to go to wildlife management.