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Six Intimacy Skills to Transform Your Marriage with Laura Doyle
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- Get the book, "First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life" from Laura Doyle at amzn.to/2qS190F.
Find more resources for your marriage. Laura Doyle-founder of Laura Doyle Connect, a coaching company that has helped over 150,000 women, and author of First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life-discusses the secret to having a passionate, peaceful marriage. Intimacy and fear, she says, are direct opposites; one is light and one is dark. They cannot coexist. If a wife wants to be in control, she must give up intimacy; but if she wants intimacy, she has to give up control. In fact, you cannot have a happy relationship without first making yourself happy.
Great interview! I have personally benefited from Laura's work and have worked with her for more than 15 years and can tell you first hand she is authentic and genuine. My marriage was on the brink of divorce but when I practiced her skills, not only did I save my marriage, but I now enjoy a more playful, peaceful and passionate marriage than I ever imaged possible.
Kathy Murray that’s amazing I love hearing women’s stories of how they saved their marriage.
Are you kidding me?!?! Did she tell you that she & another girl murdered their best friend out of jealousy???? They beat her, cut her hair & put a hundred pound rock on her HEAD to drown her. Did she mention that? Maybe find another coach.
@@ediedarleneedgmon5301 You have the wrong Laura Doyle my friend.
@@kathyleemurray is she no the missy killer?
@@phoenixbrown3954 Nope, this is a completely different Laura Doyle
Repentance and forgiveness of self and spouse is very helpful and necessary.
I love your book, " The Surrendered Wife. It is awesome. Changed our marriage for the good. I have been married 27 years.
I'm going to start this for a month, then see how things are. My marriage is very important and clearly i need help not causing issues
Do you have a year update ? How has this helped your marriage? Thanks
Marriage is hard work!! And sometimes being a hardcore femenist does much wrong than good. Because women these days are trying to dominate men and make them into weak beings. So this book teaches independant, nagging, selfish, and clueless wives how marriage life really works. You gotta pick your fights wisely and seek peace. This book is extremely helpful!
I totally agree about the marriage counselor thing! Counseling is built on trust and feeling connected to have that trust. So, if you don't feel they are having that connection and you don't feel they have dealt with the similar issues you are having... Then it won't work. And having similar things you would be able to use
I too tried counselling for me
She only heard my side
She didn't give me choice of staying together only said he can't change you won't be happy that negative talk made me think ill prove you wrong last week husband wanted to split up after 22 years I was shocked he's now seen my vulnerable side and I am now being kind and working on myself and respect to him I regret how I treated him
This book is amazing and I can relate completely
Wow...someone who woke up and who is being honest about past errors due to lack of life experiemce. Such beautiful and inspiring thinking now
have questions.
1) Does the Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy stop working of they know about it?
2) How do you focus on your own paper if your husband tells you what to do each day? If he’s essentially in charge of your paper?
3) what if your husband finds vulnerability off-putting?
4) any advice on keeping a spouse’s negative SFPs from effecting you?
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I feel like women have to make a choice between having self-respect, honesty, fairness, and equal rights OR having a good relationship.
I’m not even saying it’s not worth it. But it is a bitter pill to swallow to get what you want (and deserve).
Everyone has to make concessions in a relationship but it seems like women have to make a lot more.
Also, side note. SFP is just a specific use of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) and application of countless psych studies that show telling a kid they’re smart will make them automatically start performing better in school etc..
And it’s manipulation.
Sorry. I had to just rant for that sec. clearly the interviewer disagrees with a few things she says but he’s a top notch host and runs a great interview nonetheless. And I’m definitely still going to try manipulating - I mean neurolinguistic programming - - I mean SPFs on my SigO.
Why?
Because life’s not fair.
1.Don't tell him about it. 2. Focus on your own paper. "Whatever you think."
3. Self care.
4. Focus on your paper. "WYT." Self care. Apologize for disrespect.
Work on you and don't worry about what he'll think. Work on your side of the street.
Your questions and doubts above come from your spouse fulfilling prophecy towards him. Read that again. What you focus on increases. Give up your control on what you think he'll think or do before you even try it!
And your definition of spouse fulfilling Prophecy is a whole different than what's in the books.
Amazing interview, I'm going to implement and then watch again in a month and then six, to see how it goes. Thank you, I needed this today
How did it go. Any updates?
How’s your marriage going?
I so don't agree with the 'hinting around' when you want something (ie: the dress). I used to do that and rarely was even heard. My husband has specifically said he doesn't hear hints or generic statements. He prefers if I say outright what 'I want' and he wants a written lists of what to buy for gift occasions.
Agree. If you as a woman want something, either ask directly for it or just do it your fucking self. you want that dress? as long as it does not cost a ton, just go buy it and show your husband what he bought you...
Exactly! Woman are so unclear. So much pain could be avoided if you ladies just told us what it is that you want! Clear message, clear results.
I agree. I don't think that's a gender thing. There's a lot of people who just don't get subtle hints! And lots of us who can pick up on things easily. I think lots of couples communicate differently and if we don't recognise and address it then it can be a disaster!
16:30 Respect is Trusting her man's competent over trusting her own Anxiety.
Women know they are more emotional than men.
Women cannot look up all gooey-eyed (attracted) at a man she doesn't Respect. (Trust in his Competence)
Woman have unquechable anxiety and a need to control future outcomes. Sometimes these are legitimate concerns, but other times it's her trying to figure out her feelings by venting. And it can be difficult for a men to disguish if she has a legitimate concern or she is venting out her feelings, trying to figure out what she is to believe (You here women talking about "Her Turth" alot. Which is an amalgamation of her own past experiences).
The problem is if a man validates her emotional ventings, by confusing those venting with a legitiimate concern, as she's going to think her anxiety is actually correct and warranted.
So if he repeatively submits to her Anxiety by validating her venting she's going to lose Trust in his competenece.
Men might do this because they don't want to see their wife full of anxiety/stress thinking he's doing the right thing by submitting to her anxiety pleas, but really he's making matters worse. Reducing her attraction to him, and increasing the chances a split is going to happen.
She loses respect , she loses Trust, and she cannot be attracted to a man she doesn't believe is competence.
Men can help themselves by not validating her anxiety; AND women can help themselves remain attracted to their man by simply not giving her man more tests to fail: by reducing the number of her anxiety tests she directs at her man.
i.e. Choose your faith in him, not your fear.
For men: to help identify the difference between her legitimate concerns and her venting her emotions, you can use the assertive communication tools as described in the book "When I say no, I feel guilty", by Manuel J. Smith
I feel like my husband is just not your average guy. He is very high strung and easily stressed out.
Can you give me some videos that I can watch as a husband of a controlling wife?
Very encouraging
Love her!!! The Empowered Wife is amazing!!!
Laura's book is incredible!
Does everyone forget about Laura killing her friend years ago by drowning her lol
@@MS-nl5ghit is not the same Laura Doyle. This Laura did not kill anybody
A great friend of mine shared this with me and I'm looking forward to trying these skills. Actually,.I have started some of them and it's super early to say it's transformed anything but I can say it has helped me be a better person in regards to communication period! Thank you Linda and I'm super excited for this journey!
I love this lol, so much I have to learn!
There are plenty of videos and books for women to work on ourselves, understand how husbands think, etc.. it is good but is there the same thing for men ?
Hmmm not sure what I think about this
Respect for both is important surely ?
Ofcourse. Her book teaches that you cant change other people only clear up your own side of the road. If you give, respect he will want to do the same
@23:00 so powerful
@24:00 Gosh this lady is speaking to me
This is great.
I love this
@21:23-23:25 hit hard!!
IF MY PEOPLE , WHO ARE CALLED BY MY NAME , WILL HUMBLE THEMSELVES AND PRAY, AND SEEK MY FACE , AND TURN FROM THIER WICKED WAY'S ; THEN I WILL HEAR FROM HEAVEN , AND FORGIVE THIER SINS , AND HEAL THIER LAND ...AMEN !!
PLEASE , PASS THIS ON !!
Great interview
I love that she says with no shame that she will just lie to man about something she made him feel like crap about. I really do, I hate that just being truthful to ourselves and our spouse at all times but we face politeness and as if we care about strangers and coworkers all day. Maybe be a little kinder and do things together that you once did. And if you can remember why you married them, you can still fix it! I’m not advocating this but anything that fits your style, maybe a specific type of counsel not just marriage and family.
I agree with the post under the video about control and intimacy. However this is not a good interview with all the movement and blinking like she is trying to hide something.
sorry, that is wrong and off base
wow.
Husband are Big kids..you have to encourage them when they do tiny stuff at home; they Will do more!!
No, Husbands are not kids, they are the ones who have stressful lives at work so you can live off of what he earns while belittling him and comparing him to a child. YOU are the child who is dependent on him. And regarding him doing little things at home, well, he is busy doing BIG things at work. It is nice if he helps you do little things at home, but make no mistake, those little things are your job BECAUSE you are not willing or not able to do the big things he does.
Seriously, fuck you for demeaning your husband and comparing him to a child just because he does not help with YOUR job as much as you would like. Let me ask you, how much of his job at work do you help him with? Do you help him with his quarterly reports? do you help him hire or fire people? do you help him keep up with payroll?
If not, I think you can pick up the GI Joe toy with out asking your husband to help you.
Many women are whiners and princesses and yet they call their husbands big kids
@@forrestputman7617 I'M GOING ON 70 THE " KID " FACTOR HAS A LOT TO DO WITH THIER " MOMMY"!!
IF MOMMY NEVER TAUGHT THEM TO BE RESPOUNCIBLE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A UNDERSTANDING OF WORK , RESPOUNCIBLITY,
CARE FOR OTHER'S , AND RESPECT FOR WOMEN , THEN YOU GET A" BIG OVER GROWN BABY ", THAT EXPECT TO BE WAITED ON ...LIKE AN INDULGENT ..MOMMY , AND SELFISH , SELF CENTERED , LAZY , IRRESPOUNSIBLE , " CHILD !! USUALLY COMES ALONG WITH ANGER ISSUES , DUE TO LACK OF SELF CONTROL !!! COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR OTHERS FEELINGS OR
NEEDS !!! AN INABILITY TO EMPATHIZE WITH OTHERS !!
TOOK ME A LOOONG TIME TO FIGURE THESE KINDS OUT !!!
Host looks like Jonah Hill
ok, to be fair, I am watching this 6yrs after the episode release. but.. 'women are responsible for revitalizing relationship', 'divorce is shameful', 'let's be careful and make sure men don't feel criticized'.. I mean, way to perpetuate gender stereotypes..
And maybe women tend to not focus on themselves and their needs not because they prefer to control their husbands instead, but because they are socially conditioned to focus on/accommodate others..?
I wonder how many men read the book/attend similar trainings. I wonder how many men feel that it's necessary for them to change ways in which they navigate relationships. I wonder about same sex couples and who'd be "holding the key" in their relationship dynamic..
This woman has never been married to an intimacy anorexic or an addict
Women don't need respect ? if a you disrespect a woman they will not speak to you again.
Im guessing you haven't read the book...
Why is she even out here living a carefree life? While poor Missy that she brutally murdered is STILL rotting in her grave as dead as the day Laura murdered her! Wtf? This is the face of evil & a cold blooded heartless animal and predator! Why society lets killers just continue to live their lives in peace and happiness while their victims and the victims families suffer & are never the same and have to live with their loss for the rest of their lives while their killers go on to prosper in joy & happiness. SMDH it makes me sick!
She want to kill counselors lol. And, is obviously is still obsessed with possessioning her man
That is a completely different person. They just happened to have the same name.
I am sure she is fine, but she is completely ignorant of therapy, old technologies of Jung and Freud. And dear God she is passive aggressive.
Give me a break !! You need to pull yourself out of the early 20 the century !!
Those idiots have been proven crazy , weirdos, YEARS ago !!! How old are you !!? Haven't educated yourself in a long time , have you !!!? hahahaha hahahaha 😂😆 !!!
You want to. " talk about GOD "!!? You all should " "study " ..what GOD teaches MEN about how HE should treat his wife ...and the rest of the INSTRUCTIONS on marriage !! There's a lot to learn !! Most stupid people don't care , or want to know
What proper lessons on marriage !! They only know a little few words of wives submit themselves to husband's ...but they know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about how the husband is supposed to behave !!
Of course not !!! They wouldn't like what GOD says about that !!!
Marriage counseling is 75% ineffective. Her book is amazingly helpful. 22 years married and love and respect my husband now more than ever. People who assess books which they haven't actually read? Hmm...
is she the Laura who killed missy?
No. Same name.
I am a marriage counsellor our work is informed by neuroscience and recent trauma/ attachment research. This lady’s statements re Jung and Freud are grossly incorrect as are other opinions that followed.anyone who purports to give advice about human relationships under a title that suggests that you kill what you do not understand is a person who makes war not peace. Not a good model for relationship advice.
She is full of absolutely crap
Lmao pretty sure she’s literally a killer, look up Missy Avila.
This women will ruin empaths Andy make them suffer more , if ur familiar with Myer Briggs that should help u more cuz every individual needs different things there’s no one way magic and it will help you understand your spouse . She’s probably more like a estj or something similar and it could be her advice works great for sj types or the more domineering ones .
No, I'm an ENTP and this works! I had no idea my H2B was feeling completely disrespected by being so controlling. All I have done is apologize for being disrespectful and controlling, give tons of gratitude, and give clear non-manipulating desires. We have a different connected relationship. It's nice to tap into what we BOTH needed.
My fiance is a complete empath. He always sad I was so angry...I was and didn't even know it or understand myself. I'm so thankful. He lives my new ways.
@@user-uv3ji1xx9n so ur not the empath? i think empaths shouldnt read this book, entp can also be domineering, i was not saying only estj are prone to being like this. but she has very black n white thinking not deep. and theres much more to relationships, i was coached by someone using her method and it made me suffer so much more, because i was already being too soft and was told to be even more. its a very shallow method. myers briggs and enneagram is much more personalized to each individual and life changing when studied in depth through personality hacker. the founder herself is a entp. btw mature entps are so cool;)
She's an ENTP.
Is this the same criminal who killed her best teenage young soul Missi?? With the other criminal Karen?
Nope, this is a different Laura Doyle
Didn’t she kill someone…
Different Laura Doyle
Is this the same Laura Doyle that brutally killed her best friend?
Nope this is a different Laura Doyle
Noooo ... Completely different person