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I don’t think anyone thinks they’re bad. But her mom in particular does act visibly annoyed by Coraline. She’s overwhelmed, she’s got things to do, it makes sense. But that can be pretty hurtful to the child.
This is why Beldam failed at making Coraline get attached to her. She did spy her. But failed to realize that Coraline was in healthy family. Beldam thought Coraline was so miserable that Coraline would choose her as her new mom and let her sew the buttons on her eyes. But in fact, those made up perfect things in Beldam's world were just fun things for Coraline, not her most desirable things. Coraline was just a bored little child, while Beldam's intention was to find a child who got constantly abused or neglected. That's why Beldam failed to get Coraline's approval.
Coraline’s father DID do this, he gave her things to do like listing everything thats blue, explore, which he knows Coraline enjoys ^•^ He provided a task for her to do that she will enjoy doing ::
In the book, her dad gives her the same list of time wasting activities, and her mom gives her some paper and tells her to draw something. Coraline tries to draw the mist outside. The dad’s list leads her to discover the bricked up door between their flat and the empty one next door. She then asks mom what’s behind it, and she gets the key to it. Both tasks end up coming full circle by the end of the book. This is also taking place over a summer break and they’re moving across the country. The parents still have to work during this transition, so they can’t really spend the time with her that they would all prefer during this week before she starts a new school. They’re good parents, they’re just busy trying to feed and house her, so she gets up to some nonsense during the down time, like most children do when bored. I actually like that they don’t treat her boredom as a crisis. It’s just part of life that she’s going to have to figure out how to cope with because everyone gets bored sometimes.
@@nharber9837 I try to draw mist when I'm quite seriously depressed. Yes, boredom is something kids have to learn to accept. But her parents are too busy to realize that she is not only bored. She needs her parents who are too busy to spare the time she needs. Maybe it's just a little bit of time of not sending her away. But they don't have it. They don't talk to her, they give her paper to make her go away. It all works out in the end. But how many times it does not? When does boredom become the feeling of abandonment, become depression, when does depression become chronic? When do parents finally have the time to really look and to realize that their job consumed them so much that they lost their child? To an other mother. To a computer screen, to the wrong friends, to whatever. How many parents blame the screens, the friends, whoever when something happens? It happens too often. But those are the stories nobody wants to read. Too depressing. Too close to reality.
I think that’s sad, because she really just told her kid, “There is no way you can add to this family. The very best you can do is not make things any harder.” People don’t really think about the little messages they’re teaching their kids. You don’t have to be an awful parents to accidentally teach your child something pretty hurtful.
I read that the original novel nearly didn't get published, as they thought that it would be too scary for young children. Neil Gaiman's publisher read it to their daughter, who lied about it not being scary, because she wanted to find out the ending.
And they also didn’t say to us “well, it’s important to feel boredom, embrace it, maybe you’ll go inside your brain and develop some new healthy hobbies”
The Other Mother was a parasite. She ate the lives of her previous captives. I think she literally needed Coraline in order to live. She was her food. And yes, by all means do a video on Wybie. I’m always interested in Coraline analysis. I found it particularly sweet when she was singing her Dad’s cheesy song for comfort, btw. I’m glad you mentioned that.
You say you’re interested in Coraline analysis? I really recommend the Theorizer’s video(s) on Coraline, it’s honestly amazing and helps to fill a TON of plot holes ^•^
I went to see Coraline in the cinema today and I noticed a detail I think you will appreciate! Coralines real parents care about her NUTRITION. The food they serve her looks gross, true, but it's usually plant-based (chard, bananas ect). And her real mother instructs her to take a multivitamin too. Other Mother cares more about how the food will taste and appear to Coraline than what it will do for her nutritionally. Her real parents care for Coralines overall health and wellbeing even when it means making her do/eat things that will make her mad at them, but the Other Mother only cares about keeping her attention.
This video made me understand why I was so terrified by this book when I read it as a child. I recognized my mother's abusive behaviour in the Beldam, but I knew that I had no "real" mother to escape to. It took me years to read the book again and to see the movie. I love them both now, so much that I forgot why it scared me so much the first time
Same! When I watched it as a preteen, I thought I was “stuck” with my Other Mother and I felt sad thinking that I didn’t have another option outside of my abusive mom.
I like the idea that the previous 3 kids who's souls were eaten(every 50 years like IT), agreed because their parents and situation were so vastly different to Coriline's. Enough that the Other Mother's world was a saving grace. Wybie's Grandma essentially starving The Beldam(not letting children in the house), made her desperate for Coraline's soul. Not taking into account Coraline actually is at worst, temporarily being ignored by busy parents.
THANK YOU for defending Mel and Charlie!! I _always_ thought that her parents were _normally_ much better with her, because she's 12, and in the film, she _expects_ them to pay attention to her. If they _always_ neglected her, she would have given up on their affection by now . This movie showcases a pretty healthy family dynamic, that's just currently under some stress. Notice that in the Other World, her parents apparently just, _don't work,_ 😂 and are as unstressed as children! That's _not realistic._ Coraline is just discontent with it because she's having to occupy herself. And I think that's another reason I love this movie. I'm 24, and I think I was one of the very last kids to be raised without smartphones, TikTok, and video games. My weekends WERE filled with me just finding something to do because I was bored. And that kind of boredom is SO IMPORTANT for a child's development. It's sad to see little kids these days have _no idea_ how to occupy themselves, because they're NEVER bored. They always have screens. Your video helped me realize exactly why this is my #1 comfort movie! It's _because_ the focal point of the story is a normal but _securely-attached_ family dynamic, with normal, flawed people. It's got magic and fantasy, yes, but the main focal point of the story is normalcy and childhood boredom. THAT'S why I enjoy putting it on in the background so much, in a way that I really never do with other films! The first half of this movie -- and especially its music -- has the cozy, nostalgic, quiet feel of any one of a thousand "normal, boring" Saturdays in my childhood. There aren't many films about healthy, _whole,_ 2-parent families with securely-attached kids. I had that, so I relate to this film!
Something I always found interesting is that the other mother made this world supposedly to lure Coraline in perfectly. She made other wybie and the other father. Yet, other wybie and other father sacrificed themselves to help Coraline get out. If they’re apart of her, it makes me wonder if there was a piece of the beldame that did love Coraline and unintentionally changed that love or care into these other beings…leaving just the hungry and possessive parts of her self within.
Highly doubt it. I always interpreted it as her creations growing apart from her. Kind of like children are not copies of their parents, but go on to develop their own world-views.
I really like your interpretation! However, in a more canon-based look that would be because the Beldam used part of the souls os the previous victims to give life into the Others, victims that wanted Coraline to have a different fate then them, and thats why the Beldam was so desperate when Coraline was escaping her, because she had no more “soul parts” to keep herself alive. Essentialy she invested everything she had left, you can know more about it reading the novel😊
The beldam created Wybie and the Other Father to be easily controlled imitations of their real-life counter parts; pretty much, because both of these characters actually/genuinely care about Coraline, that’s the one thing the Other Mother can’t control (that “thing” being legitimate care for another being)
I remember the phrase that 'the worst thing for a child to always get what they want or never get what they want'. I think Coraline shows this dichotomy pretty well, the real world has Coraline board and unhappy with her situation so she goes to find the validation somewhere else but that somewhere else is not healthy for her. Being driven between two extremes never turned out well for anyone and the happy ending of this film is finding that balance between the two. I would like to apply an Absurdist philosophy to it all (I am a devotee of Camus); our heroine is living a bleak world that doesn't care but lives on in spite of that meaninglessness because she makes things that give her meaning like her relationship with her parents and neighbors and all her other interests. But to keep from going down the Coraline Theorist rabbit hole (which I found there is a lot more than I thought) keeping it simple seems the best; an interesting, if pragmatic, moral to a children's story: real life will suck sometimes, but it will get better so don't be mislead by someone offering sweets. It's very Aesop's Tales when you get down to brass tacks.
I completely agree with your take on Coraline - like, the character. I think all of that is part of what makes her interesting. She is just a typical, healthy person going through a rough time. And that's part of what makes it so familiar. It's got that really easy accessibility because it could happen to anyone. She's not a chosen one, there's no fantastically whimsical origin, she's just a kid. And I really like your take on the Beldam. Never thought about her in the context of Anxious Attachment before. It's such an interesting lens to look at her actions through. And it fits quite a bit of the deeper stuff in the book - the Beldam talks about her own mother, when making the promise to let Coraline go. She mentions how she put her mother in her grave and when she found her mother crawling out, put her back. Fits that whole vibe of cyclical rejection. And of course, the "I love you" bit. Coraline mentions how she thoroughly believes the other mother loves her, but that her love was like a dragon loving gold. She's a possession to the other mother, like you say. That whole spider-in-the-web aesthetic to her was great for that. So, yeah. Really love this analysis. Good shit, dude.
I think the car accident could also be a reason the other mother has sensed Coraline/ been able to target her so successfully, so much in her life is in flux with the move, already. But then her mother is injured - forcing her to face the fact of her parents' mortality on some level (consciously or otherwise). It's another important step in the process of growing up/independence, but no wonder she's struggling with all the upheaval they're going through! Also, its always helpful to me (UK based) to be reminded that they're based in the USA, so that accident will have had steep financial implications for the parents - car damage, insurance premiums, and potentially crippling healthcare costs! - no wonder they are so wrung out and worried about their deadlines. It all feels very real and plausible. Of course, she's frustrated and wanting more attention, but equally, of course they're more concerned with the wider practicalities.
I think the fact that Coraline has a secure attachment style is apparent because she didn't agree to sewing the buttons in her eyes. If she had a more anxious attachment style she would've relied more heavily on the Beldam's mother's attention and maybe gone through with it.
at 11 mins 45 seconds, you get a really good look at the seed packets she places in the window. In many cultures, including the west, plants have symbolic meanings and semantics (please see "Floriography" for those who are interested). So in the order she has placed them: Pepper: a guardian plant, believed to shield from "negative energy" and offer protection from the unseen Bleeding Heart: Connected to love (unsurprisingly) but also to sorrow and empathy. Pumpkin: a symbol of abundance, prosperity and good fortune, but also dreams. Squash: Connected to seasonal changes, abundance, but also "magic" My point here is that there seems to be a connection between the symbolic meanings and semantics of the plants she "picks" to display in the window and the plot of the movie. I thought that was a cool tiny detail :) Edit: I forgot to include Tulips since they are mentioned at the end of the movie: Tulips: Symbolic of familial love and rebirth, the fact that they all plant Tulips together at the end I think relates to this.
Oh disorganized attachment t, how well I know you… I’m actually quite interested in seeing this since I’ve learned about attachment types and complex trauma, so this is perfect timing! Love the very thoughtful and compassionate analysis, thanks for posting.
I can relate really heavily to her finding parents who seem interested in her and latching onto that. My parents are so disinterested in me (& my mother abusive, father was absent to my teens and barely interested after that) that I learned nobody was going to be there for me at all. I’ve said for years that I might as well be an orphan, they add so little to my life. It left me with a lot of sadness and I imagine I’d have a similar reaction if I suddenly had an “other mother” and “other father” who showed love and care towards me.
This movie has always been so special to me. I found so much comfort in Coraline's journey, and that she used escapism just like I did. Would love to see the Wybie video! He always seemed so endearingly awkward, but also desperate to make a friend. Yes, he was eccentric, but I always thought he just struggled socially and always gave off the vibe he didn't want to miss the chance of befriending Coraline. This could've just been me projecting, but I always imagined he was likely bullied in school and so he wanted to showcase who he really was before Coraline's opinion got skewed.
I watched in in 3D just lat week too! It wasn’t perfect but when it worked it worked really well. The whole scene when she sees the other garden was positively gorgeous.
17:31 The town they moved to, Ashland, OR, is in the same valley I live in. I used to work in Ashland, and my husband went to uni there. Somewhat renowned for the Shakespeare Festival there, hence the tiny Billy Shakes brusking in the street.
I didn’t realize that so many people thought Coraline’s parents were bad parents. Even when I was a kid I was just like, “Yeah man. They’re busy. The family needs money to live. And moving to a new place takes some adjustment. It’s fine.”
Thank you! I learned so much about myself, those around me, ex-partners and my own parents throughout this video. Please do a third, I am definitely here for it!
I agree with your analysis of the overarching elements of coraline. What I walk away with for coraline’s parents is that they’re good parents, but not perfect ones, which no one can really be. I found moments, though, where I could envision her parents handling things differently and reaching a better outcome.
Coraline is such a classic! I hope theres something big to celebrate it's 20 year anniversary, which is coming up in 2029. I love Coraline as a main character. She's so fun and determined. I definitely tried to be like her when i was little I remember watching this movie, and the theme went over my head. "Nor everyone who gives you everything you want, doesn't always want what's best for you". The grooming metaphor went over my head as a kid and a teen.
Like this video perfectly explains why I don't don't like the theory that Coraline never escaped because that kind of breaks the message of the movie I do like those theories but like I also don't I'm very conflicting when it comes to that
you have such a calming voice, big contrast to the existential horror of this beautiful film. Yes, please do more Coraline videos, I was a weird teenager who binged watched the Coraline theories, yours are based in reality and have psychological evidence. oh yeah, I think when the Other Mother is screaming, "I'll die without you!" she's being real, looks like she feeds on children and their 'time energy' so she's being real. My own personal theory is that the Pink Palace neighbours are the trapped older souls of the ghost children. and just like the Psycho house, I think there could be a Freudian analysis about the ID, Ego, Superego
YES! PLEASE! More videos on attachment theory! I have an exam comming up and I just can't for the life of me differentiate the insecure types! They all intermingal and situational to the point where there are barely any difference at all!
A very simplified summary is that anxious attachment is somebody saying "I need you in order to survive, don't put me out of your mind!" Avoidant is saying "I can survive just fine on my own, thanks. I don't need anyone." And disorganised is saying "I can't figure out what I need. Sometimes it's all of you, sometimes it's none of you."
I don't know why but this video actually made me cry sm, this movie has been such a comfort movie and I really relate to Coraline at the beginning of the movie I swear 😭
Beautifully said ❤ it had me sobbing on the floor thinking about why this movie always gave me such an aching pit in my stomach of loneliness. I have an anxious attachment style that I’ve been working on but I’ve also been groomed and unfortunately assaulted too many times and in all of those cases, I was offered love or friendship or connection or safety and it was taken away. So what I feel watching this movie is a bit of a reflection of what I felt during my lowest points. The need for a savior to take me away from having to save myself from the nightmare if that makes sense. It all connects and is a very powerful film no matter how it’s interpreted. I’d be down to see more videos on it from you!
although as a child i was never allowed to watch the film, (did try to with my sister but only got to the pumpkin scene with the other dads death) I always felt a strong connection to it. Though my Mum didnt/doesn't work, she always did volenteer work for my school, the community or the church, which would make her quite busy a lot of the time, and though my dad does funerals and can work from home, he also goes out to meetings a lot. also having an older sister (who specifically at the time i was coralines age) "hated me", i would feel bored and isolated most of the time. I took solace in imagining worlds of joy, playing with my dolls and making happy little rooms for them. I would never say my parents are neglectful (they are most certainly not), they always supported every choice's , would inform me of potential consequences and didn't alow me to do certain things of course. But to an 11 year old kid (who was just diagnosed with autism and anxiety with potential of ADHD) during the pandemic, i felt alone and would reject emotional encouragement for isolation into my fake families i created for my dolls. I connect to deep childhood films about kids views on menacing and life changing situations as i can relate to them a lot.
Next video idea: Character analysis of the movie “The Craft” I feel like the main villain played by Fairuza Balk has so much depth, complexity, and nuance. I think you would give a great analysis of her mental state and the reasoning for her actions. Also it’s just an amazing movie!
I love the last part possession. Because i had never looked at it from that angle. From the other mother's pov. The reason she captured, groomed, manipulated, and controled everyone around her was because of her fears and anxieties. Perhaps she was a victim that turned into a predetor because of the environment she grew up in. As a wise man said before: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. Thank you so much for the presice psychological analysis of Caroline. I needed it. And i loved it.
There’s a lot of Easter eggs in this movie about the whole Coraline universe, the foreshadowing and buildup is incredible. If you haven’t read the book yet, I highly recommend it
I would love to see your videobidea about Wybie. The fact that you've successfully connected and explained attachment theory within Coraline is awesome (how has no one else done this yet?)
A thing you mentioned about the mice spelling her name, a lot of people in the real world call her Caroline. As a base of control, a kid wants to control their name and how they’re known to the world. Especially with a unique name
I live for these iconic films that I can watch and then watch this. It's harder with series I haven't watched or don't want spoilers for. I have (not on this one) actually gone and watched the film you talked about just to see your point of view, which is fascinating. Thanks for these!!!
I know you from the Good Will Hunting series, as you've said it's the reason you started this channel and your most known series of videos, it helped me to understand myself a lot better, and how to try and hear/help people I care about better as well, you always try to be objective with what you teach us, and I really appreciate that because I prioritize being objective when interacting with people and their experiences, being completely honest RUclips didn't remind me of your channel so I haven't kept in touch with your content (which means I have a lot of your videos waiting for me, yay! It helps me to learn and not get bored while I work!) This is the first video I've watched after a really long time and I must say I usually hate sponsors in the middle of videos, but man, I'm really happy to see that you're getting sponsors for your content knowing you wanted to live doing youtube, I couldn't help but smile when I realized that you were transitioning into a sponsor I have now turned on the bell so I won't miss your vids, I hope that sub count gets higher, you deserve it =]
Ahh that's really kind of you to say! RUclips has been a long old journey that's genuinely changed my life. I just hope it can keep on going because it seems like I still haven't run out of things I want to discuss
16:25 😮 this just made me shiver.... uhmmm why do i feel this is aimed to compare growing up with social media and growing up without social media, this is insane but awesome❤
THANK YOU!!! I’ve been saying this about Coralines parents for years! They weren’t necessarily bad parents overall even if they weren’t doing the best in the timeframe of this movie. Even at the end of the movie her PJs are all stitched up. As a 15 year long coraline lover this whole vid was a great take on the movie
Anytime I told my parents I was bored, they'd tell me to clean something around the house. I quickly learned not to tell them when I was bored. Also, when the camera pans over the Coraline garden, I faintly see Sid the sloth.
I agree with the observation of the other mother as the projection of Coroline. I had a friend I had to cut out who is diagnosed with NPD and APD; Coroline as a child along with the other mother being a strange reflection of what happens when those behaviors don’t get healed remind me a lot of my old friend. The other mother is like if Coroline instead only formed the false beliefs as her narrative of herself. My old friend reacted and tried controlling me just like the other mother, and she even admitted to the fact that we are all but things to be used by her when she wants and exactly how she expects us to, like a microwave or toaster; yet when she felt any microscopic change that I could be pulling away and not falling for the fake fantasy world she was creating, she’d become volatile and say she didn’t know what she would be capable of if I left… Just a lot of similarities I notified and curious if those two personality disorders/tendencies could be at play with at least the other mother towards Coroline
Although the parents aren’t terrible I think we can all at least agree that they’re a little neglectful. The crazy dreams and the fact that she almost “fell down a well” and the reply being “uh huh” from the parent is wild. I’m not saying her parents are terrible, but they could’ve been less neglectful. Maybe found better ways to communicate.
Oh definitely. If their behaviour was like that all the time, or even more frequent than just the couple of day stress we see here, it could be very damaging. Luckily Coraline was previously formed a very secure attachment, this period is brief, and they seek to repair atterwards
@@mylittlethoughttree This is true, I think your video is opening me up to realizing what healthy love looks like. Parents who really love their children don't just give them whatever they want, in fact there may be many instances where they cannot do that. But love is never condemning those you love for not being happy with you. Coraline's parents knew that they couldn't always satisfy Coraline, but didn't condemn her completely for it. Love is allowing those you love to feel disappointment towards you. That is a healthy sentiment that I am not used to based on my personal background.
if i told my mom i was bored when i was little shed chase me around witith a towel whipping me and taunting me "still bored? Still bored?!" *scores a hit* "what about now?". Her husband found this hilarious unless i cried. Then the violence started. Id have fallen prey to the other mother very easily lol
I like your video. I think it’s a very adult perspective to say it’s cute that Caroline’s ideal life is what she already has just no work for the parents. I wonder if any kid would imagine the same thing until they are told that they could dream whatever they want. I don’t have anything to back this up but I think there is a limit to a child’s imagination is often their personal experiences. Alternatively who said this is Caroline’s ideal life? If it wasn’t Caroline herself then how do you know it wasn’t just the other mother’s manipulation of the tricks she used on other kids? The other mother giving children what they already have but better is blending fantasy and reality. After all, isn’t a lie easier to accept when is presented as natural and familiar? What do you think?
I love Coraline and just saw it in 3D, and read the book as a kid. BUt I didnt realize how much I relate to her until watching this video. I have similar world like Coraline and being an only child too.
I find it interesting that we are so trained to excuse everything. The behaviour of the parents obviously harms their child, puts it in danger in this case, but we find excuses not only why they neglect their kid but why they actually are good, do a lot that shows they actually love her. And they do, she realizes that in the end. It could be so much worse. Does anyone else think, that this is deflecting the shame we feel for not seeing our kids? Deflecting the blame that is too harmful for us, then excusing our behaviour, but never blaming the way we live. We excuse our sins with the way the world is, has to be, never blaming that, too afraid to change that. The way we live, the stress we have, makes us neglect our children, makes them feel lonely, not loved, making them look for an unhealthy attachment. I wonder what happens to a generation that becomes attached to screens from increasingly early age because the parents have become so attached to screens to mitigate their stress that they park their children in front of screens, too. To lessen the stress the children mean to them, keeping them from lessen stress by playing with the phone. Giving them an other mother. Blame the children. Blame the parents. Blame the devices. Never blame the way we live. The culture that stresses us is the pinnacle of humanity. We pay every price for that. Not happily, but somehow reflexively. Interesting.
I think you raise a good question, because there certainly is a lot of situations where parents like coraline's could be very harmful and never fix it and just blame it on stress. In a different situation, Coraline may not be securely attached. Screens can also often play a role with the way a parent may just become absorbed by a phone and shut everything else out. At the same time, all children are going to experience times of being left and feeling like the parenting they receive is inadequate. This is also a very important stage of development. Realising your parents can let you down, can disappoint, that things can go very wrong BUT that they can also be managed and repaired and people can come together stronger afterwards. There is a period of this film where her parents aren't good enough but thankfully a) it doesn't mean they don't love her b) it is only for a period and c) they actively work to repair some of the feelings it left Coraline with. I suppose this would make them what psychoanalytics often call "good enough parents" Generally though, I entirely agree about stress. It is so damn damaging and our culture is so obsessed with piling more on, working longer hours, worse conditions, everything moves faster etc. Sometimes I feel like society sees people are stressed or unhappy or lonely and just decides "well therapy is the answer to that." Obviously therapy can be great, I am a therapist I know that...but if someone's stressed out of their brain because of poverty or work conditions, then that needs help to. Sometimes our culture acts like therapy, and even charities, are a band aid to cover over all the things government are supposed to tackle, only we've culturally shifted away from that expectation a little
@@mylittlethoughttree I think so, too. People stopped looking to the government because they gave up. If nothing happens long enough people stop waiting. I am actually looking for a therapy. After 59 years at least somebody acknowledged that I have a posttraumatic stress disorder. For nearly 10 years nobody would like to do that. Maybe that's because it means stress to deal with that? Maybe it means stress to tell a patient that this is a little bit too much for the money and send him to a specialist ... maybe it was easier to dabble a little bit with the everyday stuff they were willing to listen to, cashing in money for a job that had nothing to do with what was needed. Who could blame them? I? I am not qualified to even ask questions. For whatever reason this happened, I helped myself since then. Helping myself is second nature, I had to learn that way too early. I think Germany is one of the worst countries for that. Looking to a government that is waiting for miracles or watching the stars or whatever they are doing nowadays. Dreaming they are the leading force in digital education in Europe, their new toy. Not realizing that they are the best joke in the digital world. Getting standing ovations for the best comedy show. Taking this for real, thinking they are doing something. They do nothing. They confuse wires with education. Embarrassing. Waiting for therapy in a crisis for months if not a year is not helpful. Finding no affordable place to live because you can't work is not helpful. Working in a job under another narcissist who happily triggers you every day for a year so that you break and stumble into another violent trauma response is not helpful. This society is not helpful. It just wants our money. Why do we need it? Is there any system that works as it is supposed to? I can't find one. They are all broken. And they break people. But we all happily go on and on, waiting for a miracle to happen. Looking for a miracle app that does the wonders the real people can't provide. Paying for things that are advertised to help people with their problems. As if things could help people ... Coraline is upside down. The wonderland of the other mother is the fairytale this culture promises but will never provide. Dollar signs for eyes. Things become more and more, people count less and less. Maybe we should start to accept that reality is not what they make us believe.
It's really difficult to advise because a) it depends on where you live and b) there's a billion different routes depending on what's around you. I studied psychodynamic counselling and psychotherapy at university which was an MA that resulted in me becoming qualified, and I had a placement in my final year that wanted to keep me on paid after I graduated, and that was how it started for me. Counselling is a simpler first step but there's so many different trainings and not all of them very good, that it's really difficult to know what to advise. I'd start by googling all the different counselling and therapy approaches, seeing which appeals to you most, then looking for trainings that teach it, especially trainings that are accredited or work with whatever governing body there is for where you live. In Britain there are a few such as the BACP. My training required us to register with the BACP and I think that was one marker of it being a good training
My mom is the majesty, the baby. Not responding to my emotions as important to shape, but to Elsa them until I'm eaten away at. As I always been unsure since 3, she more, easily doing the betraying things to me than talking to me so to have a safe ground to understand. But all the more easy safe grasp, to only go towards my dad, naturally loving.
I don’t think you understand the movie or psychology which is concerning given your job title. Unpredictability to children and uncertainty to children/ abusive interactions (which kills brain cells) like Coraline getting dragged to be left in a room- yeah- that kills children’s brain cells. Like kids grow up in homes that are like the real life of Coraline and the movie can be triggering even when the mother goes “Caroline.. Caroline is that you?” Because the children get treated like shit, manipulated into accepting chronic bad behavior and into a cycle. children who deal with that are beyond attachment issues. They connect the sound of a vacuum cleaner with violence. When your stuck living in a world like this your only friend is your imagination because it’s not someone who’s going to lie, betray, manipulate or minimize. Such as the other worlds dad. This sucked.
Well I think you make some truthful points that I'd agree with and have discussed at length in other videos, however I don't think they necessarily apply to what this film is about. If we took it incredibly literally, then Coraline most certainly is traumatized by her experiences with the other mother and it's awful, and none of this is a positive experience, but this also operates in that world of children's fiction where that's half beside the point in regards to the meaning the film intends to express. Obviously we can do a very literal interpretation of the movie and that's very valid, but so are other interpretations, without it being a reflection of my approach (or anyone's) to children's as a whole. If you meant her real mother's treatment then yeah, it's not good in this film, and the fact they seem affectionate later on does not dismiss or outweigh coraline's earlier negative experiences. So much abuse is excused under the banner of "we're just stressed, we're much better normally" however I personally believe her parents are genuinely ok parents ordinarily, and we see attachment in Coraline's behaviour that suggests a) their treatment is genuinely much better than we see this film b) they seek to repair and c) that Coraline does reach a genuine happy ending. Realistically I don't think it'd be a happy ending but that also somewhat detracts from the meaning
It's a big odd to me that the book Coraline, was turned into a children's movie. The book is ABOUT a child, but it's not a children's book. I would say the reading level is appropriate for some kids around middle school, but it's not for kids. It's an adult novella.
It's a good book to read to a child though, I've read it to my daughter twice now and she's 8. Of course she's too young to follow along with everything completely but we get to touch on and talk about those themes of fear and courage, and love.
Purely constructive criticism, as a viewer/listener, I would love to hear a bit more emotion behind your voice. What i thought was great writing was dragged down a little bit by a monotonous tone that made it seem a bit boring? Great video, but i would love to hear more enthusiasm for what you're speaking about
I think that's quite a leap of assumption based on my interpretation of a single movie, a movie where we're clearly meant to feel warmly for the family at the end. Her parents fail in a lot of areas but this isn't the norm for them and Coraline is a healthy child. I think you do make a great point because there are so many examples where it is abusive, and where parents will just blame stress as though that absolves them. Unfortunately that can enable a lot abuse, however this isn't one of those examples and therefore has to be treated differently
@@davidcrawford9026 well I don't want to argue about it, because I've learned enough to know that there have been so many awful therapists out there, particularly in the past and particularly outside of the uk, so I imagine you're basing that opinion off experiences where you'd be correct. My girlfriend had similar awful experiences as a child, but it isn't the case for all, and I'd say 90% of my work has zero involvement from the parents at all. Sometimes I never even meet them, which has advantages and disadvantages. Not all therapy work involves charging parents extortionate money to keep their kids visiting you, either. I charge the families nothing and, actually, if they stop coming, that generally brings in more funding, than if it keeps on going...which is also a structure that can be very flawed. I'd just be careful to tar everyone with the same brush
sounds like you have some black and white thinking going on. it is evident in the film that caroline's parents are having a *moment* of issues, it isn't set up to be something the characters have a reoccurring pattern of character trait issues. to expect parents, or any human, to be perfect is a set up of disappointment and dehumanizing
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So glad I'm not the only one who doesn't see Coraline's parents as 'bad parents.' They're literally working to keep their family and home afloat.
IKR. It makes sense that Coraline thinks that they're bad though, because of her age.
I don’t think anyone thinks they’re bad.
But her mom in particular does act visibly annoyed by Coraline.
She’s overwhelmed, she’s got things to do, it makes sense.
But that can be pretty hurtful to the child.
We don't know how they were before. And by Coraline's lines, she's usually neglected
This is why Beldam failed at making Coraline get attached to her. She did spy her. But failed to realize that Coraline was in healthy family. Beldam thought Coraline was so miserable that Coraline would choose her as her new mom and let her sew the buttons on her eyes. But in fact, those made up perfect things in Beldam's world were just fun things for Coraline, not her most desirable things. Coraline was just a bored little child, while Beldam's intention was to find a child who got constantly abused or neglected. That's why Beldam failed to get Coraline's approval.
"Dad cooks, I clean, and you stay out of the way" had me thinking "No wonder she's bored for the love of blob give this kid a real task!"
Coralie is an explorer
Coraline’s father DID do this, he gave her things to do like listing everything thats blue, explore, which he knows Coraline enjoys ^•^
He provided a task for her to do that she will enjoy doing ::
In the book, her dad gives her the same list of time wasting activities, and her mom gives her some paper and tells her to draw something. Coraline tries to draw the mist outside. The dad’s list leads her to discover the bricked up door between their flat and the empty one next door. She then asks mom what’s behind it, and she gets the key to it. Both tasks end up coming full circle by the end of the book.
This is also taking place over a summer break and they’re moving across the country. The parents still have to work during this transition, so they can’t really spend the time with her that they would all prefer during this week before she starts a new school.
They’re good parents, they’re just busy trying to feed and house her, so she gets up to some nonsense during the down time, like most children do when bored. I actually like that they don’t treat her boredom as a crisis. It’s just part of life that she’s going to have to figure out how to cope with because everyone gets bored sometimes.
@@nharber9837 I try to draw mist when I'm quite seriously depressed.
Yes, boredom is something kids have to learn to accept. But her parents are too busy to realize that she is not only bored. She needs her parents who are too busy to spare the time she needs. Maybe it's just a little bit of time of not sending her away. But they don't have it. They don't talk to her, they give her paper to make her go away.
It all works out in the end. But how many times it does not? When does boredom become the feeling of abandonment, become depression, when does depression become chronic? When do parents finally have the time to really look and to realize that their job consumed them so much that they lost their child? To an other mother. To a computer screen, to the wrong friends, to whatever. How many parents blame the screens, the friends, whoever when something happens?
It happens too often. But those are the stories nobody wants to read. Too depressing. Too close to reality.
I think that’s sad, because she really just told her kid,
“There is no way you can add to this family. The very best you can do is not make things any harder.”
People don’t really think about the little messages they’re teaching their kids.
You don’t have to be an awful parents to accidentally teach your child something pretty hurtful.
I read that the original novel nearly didn't get published, as they thought that it would be too scary for young children. Neil Gaiman's publisher read it to their daughter, who lied about it not being scary, because she wanted to find out the ending.
I see you everywhere
They were right (I watched the film in theaters when it came out at 6 years old and then refused to watch it again until I was 18)
@@HexagonSun990i have an inside joke with myself where i exclaim “TRINA Q SIGHTING!”. we must have really similar interests aha!
We didn't dare tell our parents we were bored. They would give us a list of chores to be done.
That's one area where I was lucky with my dad 😂 my mum, not so much, but definitely my dad
That was always such a weird response like, why would you give me a list of the most boring things I could possibly do when I just told you I’m bored
@@Futurebound_jpg Exactly, lol
And they also didn’t say to us “well, it’s important to feel boredom, embrace it, maybe you’ll go inside your brain and develop some new healthy hobbies”
Bored will force you to take a deeper dive
The Other Mother was a parasite. She ate the lives of her previous captives. I think she literally needed Coraline in order to live. She was her food.
And yes, by all means do a video on Wybie. I’m always interested in Coraline analysis. I found it particularly sweet when she was singing her Dad’s cheesy song for comfort, btw. I’m glad you mentioned that.
You say you’re interested in Coraline analysis? I really recommend the Theorizer’s video(s) on Coraline, it’s honestly amazing and helps to fill a TON of plot holes ^•^
I went to see Coraline in the cinema today and I noticed a detail I think you will appreciate! Coralines real parents care about her NUTRITION. The food they serve her looks gross, true, but it's usually plant-based (chard, bananas ect). And her real mother instructs her to take a multivitamin too. Other Mother cares more about how the food will taste and appear to Coraline than what it will do for her nutritionally. Her real parents care for Coralines overall health and wellbeing even when it means making her do/eat things that will make her mad at them, but the Other Mother only cares about keeping her attention.
That is good, thanks for adding it!
This video made me understand why I was so terrified by this book when I read it as a child. I recognized my mother's abusive behaviour in the Beldam, but I knew that I had no "real" mother to escape to. It took me years to read the book again and to see the movie. I love them both now, so much that I forgot why it scared me so much the first time
Same! When I watched it as a preteen, I thought I was “stuck” with my Other Mother and I felt sad thinking that I didn’t have another option outside of my abusive mom.
I like the idea that the previous 3 kids who's souls were eaten(every 50 years like IT), agreed because their parents and situation were so vastly different to Coriline's. Enough that the Other Mother's world was a saving grace.
Wybie's Grandma essentially starving The Beldam(not letting children in the house), made her desperate for Coraline's soul.
Not taking into account Coraline actually is at worst, temporarily being ignored by busy parents.
THANK YOU for defending Mel and Charlie!! I _always_ thought that her parents were _normally_ much better with her, because she's 12, and in the film, she _expects_ them to pay attention to her. If they _always_ neglected her, she would have given up on their affection by now . This movie showcases a pretty healthy family dynamic, that's just currently under some stress. Notice that in the Other World, her parents apparently just, _don't work,_ 😂 and are as unstressed as children! That's _not realistic._ Coraline is just discontent with it because she's having to occupy herself. And I think that's another reason I love this movie. I'm 24, and I think I was one of the very last kids to be raised without smartphones, TikTok, and video games. My weekends WERE filled with me just finding something to do because I was bored. And that kind of boredom is SO IMPORTANT for a child's development. It's sad to see little kids these days have _no idea_ how to occupy themselves, because they're NEVER bored. They always have screens.
Your video helped me realize exactly why this is my #1 comfort movie! It's _because_ the focal point of the story is a normal but _securely-attached_ family dynamic, with normal, flawed people. It's got magic and fantasy, yes, but the main focal point of the story is normalcy and childhood boredom. THAT'S why I enjoy putting it on in the background so much, in a way that I really never do with other films! The first half of this movie -- and especially its music -- has the cozy, nostalgic, quiet feel of any one of a thousand "normal, boring" Saturdays in my childhood.
There aren't many films about healthy, _whole,_ 2-parent families with securely-attached kids. I had that, so I relate to this film!
Something I always found interesting is that the other mother made this world supposedly to lure Coraline in perfectly. She made other wybie and the other father. Yet, other wybie and other father sacrificed themselves to help Coraline get out. If they’re apart of her, it makes me wonder if there was a piece of the beldame that did love Coraline and unintentionally changed that love or care into these other beings…leaving just the hungry and possessive parts of her self within.
Highly doubt it.
I always interpreted it as her creations growing apart from her.
Kind of like children are not copies of their parents, but go on to develop their own world-views.
I really like your interpretation! However, in a more canon-based look that would be because the Beldam used part of the souls os the previous victims to give life into the Others, victims that wanted Coraline to have a different fate then them, and thats why the Beldam was so desperate when Coraline was escaping her, because she had no more “soul parts” to keep herself alive. Essentialy she invested everything she had left, you can know more about it reading the novel😊
The beldam created Wybie and the Other Father to be easily controlled imitations of their real-life counter parts; pretty much, because both of these characters actually/genuinely care about Coraline, that’s the one thing the Other Mother can’t control (that “thing” being legitimate care for another being)
I remember the phrase that 'the worst thing for a child to always get what they want or never get what they want'. I think Coraline shows this dichotomy pretty well, the real world has Coraline board and unhappy with her situation so she goes to find the validation somewhere else but that somewhere else is not healthy for her. Being driven between two extremes never turned out well for anyone and the happy ending of this film is finding that balance between the two.
I would like to apply an Absurdist philosophy to it all (I am a devotee of Camus); our heroine is living a bleak world that doesn't care but lives on in spite of that meaninglessness because she makes things that give her meaning like her relationship with her parents and neighbors and all her other interests. But to keep from going down the Coraline Theorist rabbit hole (which I found there is a lot more than I thought) keeping it simple seems the best; an interesting, if pragmatic, moral to a children's story: real life will suck sometimes, but it will get better so don't be mislead by someone offering sweets. It's very Aesop's Tales when you get down to brass tacks.
The middle pillar. 😅
I completely agree with your take on Coraline - like, the character. I think all of that is part of what makes her interesting. She is just a typical, healthy person going through a rough time. And that's part of what makes it so familiar. It's got that really easy accessibility because it could happen to anyone. She's not a chosen one, there's no fantastically whimsical origin, she's just a kid.
And I really like your take on the Beldam. Never thought about her in the context of Anxious Attachment before. It's such an interesting lens to look at her actions through. And it fits quite a bit of the deeper stuff in the book - the Beldam talks about her own mother, when making the promise to let Coraline go. She mentions how she put her mother in her grave and when she found her mother crawling out, put her back. Fits that whole vibe of cyclical rejection.
And of course, the "I love you" bit. Coraline mentions how she thoroughly believes the other mother loves her, but that her love was like a dragon loving gold. She's a possession to the other mother, like you say. That whole spider-in-the-web aesthetic to her was great for that.
So, yeah. Really love this analysis. Good shit, dude.
I think the car accident could also be a reason the other mother has sensed Coraline/ been able to target her so successfully, so much in her life is in flux with the move, already. But then her mother is injured - forcing her to face the fact of her parents' mortality on some level (consciously or otherwise). It's another important step in the process of growing up/independence, but no wonder she's struggling with all the upheaval they're going through!
Also, its always helpful to me (UK based) to be reminded that they're based in the USA, so that accident will have had steep financial implications for the parents - car damage, insurance premiums, and potentially crippling healthcare costs! - no wonder they are so wrung out and worried about their deadlines.
It all feels very real and plausible. Of course, she's frustrated and wanting more attention, but equally, of course they're more concerned with the wider practicalities.
Interesting angle. I love stories like Coraline because they are multifaceted and you can always look just a bit deeper.
This film is a masterpiece and the book is also. I wish we had more films like this again. Learning to conquer fear is important for kids.
I think the fact that Coraline has a secure attachment style is apparent because she didn't agree to sewing the buttons in her eyes. If she had a more anxious attachment style she would've relied more heavily on the Beldam's mother's attention and maybe gone through with it.
at 11 mins 45 seconds, you get a really good look at the seed packets she places in the window. In many cultures, including the west, plants have symbolic meanings and semantics (please see "Floriography" for those who are interested). So in the order she has placed them:
Pepper: a guardian plant, believed to shield from "negative energy" and offer protection from the unseen
Bleeding Heart: Connected to love (unsurprisingly) but also to sorrow and empathy.
Pumpkin: a symbol of abundance, prosperity and good fortune, but also dreams.
Squash: Connected to seasonal changes, abundance, but also "magic"
My point here is that there seems to be a connection between the symbolic meanings and semantics of the plants she "picks" to display in the window and the plot of the movie. I thought that was a cool tiny detail :)
Edit: I forgot to include Tulips since they are mentioned at the end of the movie:
Tulips: Symbolic of familial love and rebirth, the fact that they all plant Tulips together at the end I think relates to this.
Oh this is so cool, i had no idea about this... a whole new perspective ❤️
Im a Dad now, my son's bout to start 2nd grade. I hope these videos help me be a better Dad.
Wishing you luck lol
Wish you the best luck 🔥
Oh disorganized attachment t, how well I know you… I’m actually quite interested in seeing this since I’ve learned about attachment types and complex trauma, so this is perfect timing! Love the very thoughtful and compassionate analysis, thanks for posting.
I can relate really heavily to her finding parents who seem interested in her and latching onto that. My parents are so disinterested in me (& my mother abusive, father was absent to my teens and barely interested after that) that I learned nobody was going to be there for me at all. I’ve said for years that I might as well be an orphan, they add so little to my life. It left me with a lot of sadness and I imagine I’d have a similar reaction if I suddenly had an “other mother” and “other father” who showed love and care towards me.
This movie has always been so special to me. I found so much comfort in Coraline's journey, and that she used escapism just like I did. Would love to see the Wybie video! He always seemed so endearingly awkward, but also desperate to make a friend. Yes, he was eccentric, but I always thought he just struggled socially and always gave off the vibe he didn't want to miss the chance of befriending Coraline. This could've just been me projecting, but I always imagined he was likely bullied in school and so he wanted to showcase who he really was before Coraline's opinion got skewed.
I watched in in 3D just lat week too! It wasn’t perfect but when it worked it worked really well. The whole scene when she sees the other garden was positively gorgeous.
17:31 The town they moved to, Ashland, OR, is in the same valley I live in. I used to work in Ashland, and my husband went to uni there. Somewhat renowned for the Shakespeare Festival there, hence the tiny Billy Shakes brusking in the street.
This video gave so many unique perspectives. Made me check if my local library had any copies available so I can finally read it for myself
15 year movie anniversary too. Great timing
I didn’t realize that so many people thought Coraline’s parents were bad parents.
Even when I was a kid I was just like, “Yeah man. They’re busy. The family needs money to live. And moving to a new place takes some adjustment. It’s fine.”
Thank you! I learned so much about myself, those around me, ex-partners and my own parents throughout this video. Please do a third, I am definitely here for it!
I agree with your analysis of the overarching elements of coraline. What I walk away with for coraline’s parents is that they’re good parents, but not perfect ones, which no one can really be. I found moments, though, where I could envision her parents handling things differently and reaching a better outcome.
Coraline is such a classic! I hope theres something big to celebrate it's 20 year anniversary, which is coming up in 2029. I love Coraline as a main character. She's so fun and determined. I definitely tried to be like her when i was little
I remember watching this movie, and the theme went over my head. "Nor everyone who gives you everything you want, doesn't always want what's best for you". The grooming metaphor went over my head as a kid and a teen.
Like this video perfectly explains why I don't don't like the theory that Coraline never escaped because that kind of breaks the message of the movie I do like those theories but like I also don't I'm very conflicting when it comes to that
you have such a calming voice, big contrast to the existential horror of this beautiful film. Yes, please do more Coraline videos, I was a weird teenager who binged watched the Coraline theories, yours are based in reality and have psychological evidence.
oh yeah, I think when the Other Mother is screaming, "I'll die without you!" she's being real, looks like she feeds on children and their 'time energy' so she's being real.
My own personal theory is that the Pink Palace neighbours are the trapped older souls of the ghost children. and just like the Psycho house, I think there could be a Freudian analysis about the ID, Ego, Superego
My favorite thing about the movie is that Mel is disabled, technically, with the neckbrace.
'Making a ---VIDEO--- about Coraline' made me laugh out loud, what a start lol
YES! PLEASE! More videos on attachment theory! I have an exam comming up and I just can't for the life of me differentiate the insecure types! They all intermingal and situational to the point where there are barely any difference at all!
A very simplified summary is that anxious attachment is somebody saying "I need you in order to survive, don't put me out of your mind!" Avoidant is saying "I can survive just fine on my own, thanks. I don't need anyone." And disorganised is saying "I can't figure out what I need. Sometimes it's all of you, sometimes it's none of you."
I don't know why but this video actually made me cry sm, this movie has been such a comfort movie and I really relate to Coraline at the beginning of the movie I swear 😭
Beautifully said ❤ it had me sobbing on the floor thinking about why this movie always gave me such an aching pit in my stomach of loneliness.
I have an anxious attachment style that I’ve been working on but I’ve also been groomed and unfortunately assaulted too many times and in all of those cases, I was offered love or friendship or connection or safety and it was taken away. So what I feel watching this movie is a bit of a reflection of what I felt during my lowest points. The need for a savior to take me away from having to save myself from the nightmare if that makes sense. It all connects and is a very powerful film no matter how it’s interpreted. I’d be down to see more videos on it from you!
although as a child i was never allowed to watch the film, (did try to with my sister but only got to the pumpkin scene with the other dads death) I always felt a strong connection to it. Though my Mum didnt/doesn't work, she always did volenteer work for my school, the community or the church, which would make her quite busy a lot of the time, and though my dad does funerals and can work from home, he also goes out to meetings a lot. also having an older sister (who specifically at the time i was coralines age) "hated me", i would feel bored and isolated most of the time. I took solace in imagining worlds of joy, playing with my dolls and making happy little rooms for them. I would never say my parents are neglectful (they are most certainly not), they always supported every choice's , would inform me of potential consequences and didn't alow me to do certain things of course. But to an 11 year old kid (who was just diagnosed with autism and anxiety with potential of ADHD) during the pandemic, i felt alone and would reject emotional encouragement for isolation into my fake families i created for my dolls. I connect to deep childhood films about kids views on menacing and life changing situations as i can relate to them a lot.
arguably the best analysis of Coraline ive seen
Oh, thanks!
my god this video changed the way I perceive Coraline now, this video is amazing
Next video idea:
Character analysis of the movie “The Craft”
I feel like the main villain played by Fairuza Balk has so much depth, complexity, and nuance. I think you would give a great analysis of her mental state and the reasoning for her actions. Also it’s just an amazing movie!
I love the last part possession. Because i had never looked at it from that angle. From the other mother's pov. The reason she captured, groomed, manipulated, and controled everyone around her was because of her fears and anxieties. Perhaps she was a victim that turned into a predetor because of the environment she grew up in. As a wise man said before: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
Thank you so much for the presice psychological analysis of Caroline. I needed it. And i loved it.
Thank you for this! What a wonderful analysis. You’ve shared a perspective I hadn’t considered and now I can’t unsee it
Love your spirited away intro
This really changed the way I think about the relationships in that movie. Great video!
There’s a lot of Easter eggs in this movie about the whole Coraline universe, the foreshadowing and buildup is incredible. If you haven’t read the book yet, I highly recommend it
I would love to see your videobidea about Wybie. The fact that you've successfully connected and explained attachment theory within Coraline is awesome (how has no one else done this yet?)
A thing you mentioned about the mice spelling her name, a lot of people in the real world call her Caroline. As a base of control, a kid wants to control their name and how they’re known to the world. Especially with a unique name
That intro made me chuckle way harder than it shoukd have 😂😂
I was looking for someone else who talked about this 😂
I live for these iconic films that I can watch and then watch this. It's harder with series I haven't watched or don't want spoilers for. I have (not on this one) actually gone and watched the film you talked about just to see your point of view, which is fascinating. Thanks for these!!!
thank you for the deeper dive of my one of favourite movies! Coraline is so special!
I know you from the Good Will Hunting series, as you've said it's the reason you started this channel and your most known series of videos, it helped me to understand myself a lot better, and how to try and hear/help people I care about better as well, you always try to be objective with what you teach us, and I really appreciate that because I prioritize being objective when interacting with people and their experiences, being completely honest RUclips didn't remind me of your channel so I haven't kept in touch with your content (which means I have a lot of your videos waiting for me, yay! It helps me to learn and not get bored while I work!) This is the first video I've watched after a really long time and I must say I usually hate sponsors in the middle of videos, but man, I'm really happy to see that you're getting sponsors for your content knowing you wanted to live doing youtube, I couldn't help but smile when I realized that you were transitioning into a sponsor
I have now turned on the bell so I won't miss your vids, I hope that sub count gets higher, you deserve it =]
Ahh that's really kind of you to say! RUclips has been a long old journey that's genuinely changed my life. I just hope it can keep on going because it seems like I still haven't run out of things I want to discuss
16:25 😮 this just made me shiver.... uhmmm why do i feel this is aimed to compare growing up with social media and growing up without social media, this is insane but awesome❤
THANK YOU!!! I’ve been saying this about Coralines parents for years! They weren’t necessarily bad parents overall even if they weren’t doing the best in the timeframe of this movie. Even at the end of the movie her PJs are all stitched up. As a 15 year long coraline lover this whole vid was a great take on the movie
I would LOVE a Wybie version!!
Anytime I told my parents I was bored, they'd tell me to clean something around the house. I quickly learned not to tell them when I was bored.
Also, when the camera pans over the Coraline garden, I faintly see Sid the sloth.
brooo loving this, arcane parent relathionship next???
I'd have to watch it first but I plan to this year!
CLICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ALWAYS LEFT UNSETTLED AFTER REWATCHING🧚🏻♂️ a spook that lingersss
Great video, interesting points about the Beldam. I would love a full video on Wybie!
I agree with the observation of the other mother as the projection of Coroline. I had a friend I had to cut out who is diagnosed with NPD and APD; Coroline as a child along with the other mother being a strange reflection of what happens when those behaviors don’t get healed remind me a lot of my old friend. The other mother is like if Coroline instead only formed the false beliefs as her narrative of herself.
My old friend reacted and tried controlling me just like the other mother, and she even admitted to the fact that we are all but things to be used by her when she wants and exactly how she expects us to, like a microwave or toaster; yet when she felt any microscopic change that I could be pulling away and not falling for the fake fantasy world she was creating, she’d become volatile and say she didn’t know what she would be capable of if I left…
Just a lot of similarities I notified and curious if those two personality disorders/tendencies could be at play with at least the other mother towards Coroline
Although the parents aren’t terrible I think we can all at least agree that they’re a little neglectful. The crazy dreams and the fact that she almost “fell down a well” and the reply being “uh huh” from the parent is wild. I’m not saying her parents are terrible, but they could’ve been less neglectful. Maybe found better ways to communicate.
Oh definitely. If their behaviour was like that all the time, or even more frequent than just the couple of day stress we see here, it could be very damaging. Luckily Coraline was previously formed a very secure attachment, this period is brief, and they seek to repair atterwards
@@mylittlethoughttree This is true, I think your video is opening me up to realizing what healthy love looks like. Parents who really love their children don't just give them whatever they want, in fact there may be many instances where they cannot do that. But love is never condemning those you love for not being happy with you. Coraline's parents knew that they couldn't always satisfy Coraline, but didn't condemn her completely for it. Love is allowing those you love to feel disappointment towards you. That is a healthy sentiment that I am not used to based on my personal background.
if i told my mom i was bored when i was little shed chase me around witith a towel whipping me and taunting me "still bored? Still bored?!" *scores a hit* "what about now?". Her husband found this hilarious unless i cried. Then the violence started. Id have fallen prey to the other mother very easily lol
Yes please to the third video
I would like a third coraline video
I like your video. I think it’s a very adult perspective to say it’s cute that Caroline’s ideal life is what she already has just no work for the parents. I wonder if any kid would imagine the same thing until they are told that they could dream whatever they want. I don’t have anything to back this up but I think there is a limit to a child’s imagination is often their personal experiences. Alternatively who said this is Caroline’s ideal life? If it wasn’t Caroline herself then how do you know it wasn’t just the other mother’s manipulation of the tricks she used on other kids? The other mother giving children what they already have but better is blending fantasy and reality. After all, isn’t a lie easier to accept when is presented as natural and familiar? What do you think?
I love Coraline and just saw it in 3D, and read the book as a kid. BUt I didnt realize how much I relate to her until watching this video. I have similar world like Coraline and being an only child too.
Can you make a theory about Fran bow?
This whole movie would’ve never happened if Coraline’s parents gave her an iPad
Yes please, do a video on wybee (might be spelt that wrong)
Pretty close, though. I think it was Wybie. But it’s a nickname so it’s flexible.
I would definitely like a video on Wybie.
How interesting, the moment i finished the movie you uploaded this video
One of my favorite movies...
I find it interesting that we are so trained to excuse everything. The behaviour of the parents obviously harms their child, puts it in danger in this case, but we find excuses not only why they neglect their kid but why they actually are good, do a lot that shows they actually love her. And they do, she realizes that in the end. It could be so much worse.
Does anyone else think, that this is deflecting the shame we feel for not seeing our kids? Deflecting the blame that is too harmful for us, then excusing our behaviour, but never blaming the way we live. We excuse our sins with the way the world is, has to be, never blaming that, too afraid to change that. The way we live, the stress we have, makes us neglect our children, makes them feel lonely, not loved, making them look for an unhealthy attachment.
I wonder what happens to a generation that becomes attached to screens from increasingly early age because the parents have become so attached to screens to mitigate their stress that they park their children in front of screens, too. To lessen the stress the children mean to them, keeping them from lessen stress by playing with the phone. Giving them an other mother.
Blame the children. Blame the parents. Blame the devices. Never blame the way we live. The culture that stresses us is the pinnacle of humanity. We pay every price for that. Not happily, but somehow reflexively. Interesting.
I think you raise a good question, because there certainly is a lot of situations where parents like coraline's could be very harmful and never fix it and just blame it on stress. In a different situation, Coraline may not be securely attached. Screens can also often play a role with the way a parent may just become absorbed by a phone and shut everything else out.
At the same time, all children are going to experience times of being left and feeling like the parenting they receive is inadequate. This is also a very important stage of development. Realising your parents can let you down, can disappoint, that things can go very wrong BUT that they can also be managed and repaired and people can come together stronger afterwards. There is a period of this film where her parents aren't good enough but thankfully a) it doesn't mean they don't love her b) it is only for a period and c) they actively work to repair some of the feelings it left Coraline with. I suppose this would make them what psychoanalytics often call "good enough parents"
Generally though, I entirely agree about stress. It is so damn damaging and our culture is so obsessed with piling more on, working longer hours, worse conditions, everything moves faster etc. Sometimes I feel like society sees people are stressed or unhappy or lonely and just decides "well therapy is the answer to that." Obviously therapy can be great, I am a therapist I know that...but if someone's stressed out of their brain because of poverty or work conditions, then that needs help to. Sometimes our culture acts like therapy, and even charities, are a band aid to cover over all the things government are supposed to tackle, only we've culturally shifted away from that expectation a little
@@mylittlethoughttree I think so, too. People stopped looking to the government because they gave up. If nothing happens long enough people stop waiting.
I am actually looking for a therapy. After 59 years at least somebody acknowledged that I have a posttraumatic stress disorder. For nearly 10 years nobody would like to do that. Maybe that's because it means stress to deal with that? Maybe it means stress to tell a patient that this is a little bit too much for the money and send him to a specialist ... maybe it was easier to dabble a little bit with the everyday stuff they were willing to listen to, cashing in money for a job that had nothing to do with what was needed. Who could blame them? I? I am not qualified to even ask questions.
For whatever reason this happened, I helped myself since then. Helping myself is second nature, I had to learn that way too early. I think Germany is one of the worst countries for that. Looking to a government that is waiting for miracles or watching the stars or whatever they are doing nowadays. Dreaming they are the leading force in digital education in Europe, their new toy. Not realizing that they are the best joke in the digital world. Getting standing ovations for the best comedy show. Taking this for real, thinking they are doing something. They do nothing. They confuse wires with education. Embarrassing.
Waiting for therapy in a crisis for months if not a year is not helpful. Finding no affordable place to live because you can't work is not helpful. Working in a job under another narcissist who happily triggers you every day for a year so that you break and stumble into another violent trauma response is not helpful.
This society is not helpful. It just wants our money. Why do we need it? Is there any system that works as it is supposed to? I can't find one. They are all broken. And they break people.
But we all happily go on and on, waiting for a miracle to happen. Looking for a miracle app that does the wonders the real people can't provide. Paying for things that are advertised to help people with their problems. As if things could help people ...
Coraline is upside down. The wonderland of the other mother is the fairytale this culture promises but will never provide. Dollar signs for eyes. Things become more and more, people count less and less. Maybe we should start to accept that reality is not what they make us believe.
0:07 Aaayyy!!!!! Glad i guessed it right lol
Dang I could relate to coraline even now. But I also understand her parents as well. Before this video, I thought coraline was a bit annoying.
I WATCHED IT IN 3D TOO
How did you become a children’s therapist in regards to education and work experience? I’d love to also become as children’s therapist.
It's really difficult to advise because a) it depends on where you live and b) there's a billion different routes depending on what's around you. I studied psychodynamic counselling and psychotherapy at university which was an MA that resulted in me becoming qualified, and I had a placement in my final year that wanted to keep me on paid after I graduated, and that was how it started for me. Counselling is a simpler first step but there's so many different trainings and not all of them very good, that it's really difficult to know what to advise. I'd start by googling all the different counselling and therapy approaches, seeing which appeals to you most, then looking for trainings that teach it, especially trainings that are accredited or work with whatever governing body there is for where you live. In Britain there are a few such as the BACP. My training required us to register with the BACP and I think that was one marker of it being a good training
Keep that train intro please
Yes, any and all Coraline. Whatever you feel like talking about.
good video
You're awesome 😎
I fucking loved this film, and I think its bc I was being emotionally abused and had attachment anxiety with my mum (who wasn't abusive) 💀
My mom is the majesty, the baby. Not responding to my emotions as important to shape, but to Elsa them until I'm eaten away at. As I always been unsure since 3, she more, easily doing the betraying things to me than talking to me so to have a safe ground to understand. But all the more easy safe grasp, to only go towards my dad, naturally loving.
this movie is most definitely about grooming
What’s the point of seeking engagement nowadays when it’s literally at our fingertips
It's a good question, I'll say that much 😆
It's amusing that you laugh at your own jokes and quips.
Very generous to even call them quips 😆
@mylittlethoughttree Compared to others, it's accurate 😀.... You even laugh at the way you trip into the segways to your sponsors! Good stuff!
what about the good breast and the bad breast mother of Kleinian theory?
That would also fit very well for this story. In fact, I may even make that video, thanks for the suggestion!
Disorganized attachment is what I went through with my blood relative ( Aunt )
And I get to 18:45 and feel awful
You just explained why Waifu culture is terrible for humans.
Don't hurt animals that bad example
I don’t think you understand the movie or psychology which is concerning given your job title. Unpredictability to children and uncertainty to children/ abusive interactions (which kills brain cells) like Coraline getting dragged to be left in a room- yeah- that kills children’s brain cells. Like kids grow up in homes that are like the real life of Coraline and the movie can be triggering even when the mother goes “Caroline.. Caroline is that you?” Because the children get treated like shit, manipulated into accepting chronic bad behavior and into a cycle. children who deal with that are beyond attachment issues. They connect the sound of a vacuum cleaner with violence. When your stuck living in a world like this your only friend is your imagination because it’s not someone who’s going to lie, betray, manipulate or minimize. Such as the other worlds dad.
This sucked.
Well I think you make some truthful points that I'd agree with and have discussed at length in other videos, however I don't think they necessarily apply to what this film is about. If we took it incredibly literally, then Coraline most certainly is traumatized by her experiences with the other mother and it's awful, and none of this is a positive experience, but this also operates in that world of children's fiction where that's half beside the point in regards to the meaning the film intends to express. Obviously we can do a very literal interpretation of the movie and that's very valid, but so are other interpretations, without it being a reflection of my approach (or anyone's) to children's as a whole.
If you meant her real mother's treatment then yeah, it's not good in this film, and the fact they seem affectionate later on does not dismiss or outweigh coraline's earlier negative experiences. So much abuse is excused under the banner of "we're just stressed, we're much better normally" however I personally believe her parents are genuinely ok parents ordinarily, and we see attachment in Coraline's behaviour that suggests a) their treatment is genuinely much better than we see this film b) they seek to repair and c) that Coraline does reach a genuine happy ending. Realistically I don't think it'd be a happy ending but that also somewhat detracts from the meaning
It's a big odd to me that the book Coraline, was turned into a children's movie. The book is ABOUT a child, but it's not a children's book. I would say the reading level is appropriate for some kids around middle school, but it's not for kids. It's an adult novella.
It's a good book to read to a child though, I've read it to my daughter twice now and she's 8. Of course she's too young to follow along with everything completely but we get to touch on and talk about those themes of fear and courage, and love.
Purely constructive criticism, as a viewer/listener, I would love to hear a bit more emotion behind your voice. What i thought was great writing was dragged down a little bit by a monotonous tone that made it seem a bit boring? Great video, but i would love to hear more enthusiasm for what you're speaking about
What do you mean americans don't say maths?
In the UK, the academic field of mthematics is shortened it 'maths'. However over in the US, I've heard it shortened to 'math.'
So youre one of those people that helps parents cover up abuse and gaslight their kids
I think that's quite a leap of assumption based on my interpretation of a single movie, a movie where we're clearly meant to feel warmly for the family at the end. Her parents fail in a lot of areas but this isn't the norm for them and Coraline is a healthy child.
I think you do make a great point because there are so many examples where it is abusive, and where parents will just blame stress as though that absolves them. Unfortunately that can enable a lot abuse, however this isn't one of those examples and therefore has to be treated differently
@@mylittlethoughttree all therapists are always on the side of the parent. The abuse keeps you on business
@@davidcrawford9026 well I don't want to argue about it, because I've learned enough to know that there have been so many awful therapists out there, particularly in the past and particularly outside of the uk, so I imagine you're basing that opinion off experiences where you'd be correct. My girlfriend had similar awful experiences as a child, but it isn't the case for all, and I'd say 90% of my work has zero involvement from the parents at all. Sometimes I never even meet them, which has advantages and disadvantages. Not all therapy work involves charging parents extortionate money to keep their kids visiting you, either. I charge the families nothing and, actually, if they stop coming, that generally brings in more funding, than if it keeps on going...which is also a structure that can be very flawed. I'd just be careful to tar everyone with the same brush
sounds like you have some black and white thinking going on. it is evident in the film that caroline's parents are having a *moment* of issues, it isn't set up to be something the characters have a reoccurring pattern of character trait issues. to expect parents, or any human, to be perfect is a set up of disappointment and dehumanizing
Why are you being weird
I do. I’ve started to love this movie a lot more as I’ve gotten older, and my life has gotten more and more repetitive.