How Fast Should Men Go Sexually?

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  • Опубликовано: 6 авг 2024
  • Men look for sex and find love. If we can agree on that, why is it so surprising to some women when men try to kiss (and more) on the first date? In this episode, I’m going to give you the lowdown on what men are really thinking and the definitive sexual pace you should move at if you want to keep your spark and get a boyfriend.
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    Please watch: "How Men And Women Pursue Sex Differently"
    • How Men And Women Purs...
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Комментарии • 65

  • @bryanbiserta9192
    @bryanbiserta9192 7 лет назад +15

    i'm a man and i don't want to have sex with every woman.....i have to like her too

  • @FreeSpirit47
    @FreeSpirit47 5 лет назад +28

    I won't give husband privilege to someone who isn't even a boyfriend. Also, won't give husband privilege to a boyfriend. I have a good life, financially secure, emotionally/spiritually/psychologically secure. So, am not looking for marriage, yet, will only have sexual relations within marriage.

    • @SimonKnight1023
      @SimonKnight1023 Год назад

      How’s that been going?

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 Год назад +3

      @@SimonKnight1023 It's doubtful that this is a serious question. Life is good for me & getting better all the time.
      How are things going for you? (a serious question)

    • @SimonKnight1023
      @SimonKnight1023 Год назад

      @@FreeSpirit47 It’s a serious question. I was wondering if denying men sex and food made you more appealing as a potential wife.
      I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 Год назад +2

      @@SimonKnight1023 That's just it, I decided to be single & celibate in 2012. I don't date, I take care of my own personal needs. It may not work for everyone; it works very well for me.
      As I stated in my initial comment, I have no plans to date, marry nor have a sexual relationship with anyone. So, the matter of being a potential wife or not is moot.
      Happy for you that you are doing fine. Much love to you!

    • @SimonKnight1023
      @SimonKnight1023 Год назад

      @@FreeSpirit47 oh ok

  • @kathysutton2631
    @kathysutton2631 3 года назад +10

    Why don’t you just take the time to build a friendship!!!! See if there’s comparability. More than sex. So many guys want sex and no lasting rel.

    • @SimonKnight1023
      @SimonKnight1023 Год назад

      Most men don’t want to be friends with women

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 3 года назад +5

    Those sickies who ejaculated on a woman or offered to pay for sex didn't make me smile or laugh. They grossed me out! Kinda scary for me as a woman. I've never been raped, thank God, probably because I'm careful about getting to know a man before making love with him. Yeah, I'm old school. I still call it making love and I gotta be friends and trust him before sleeping w/him. I don't care if I'm an anachronism, either. I gotta be authentic.

  • @karenKristal
    @karenKristal Год назад +4

    why should women like and get together with men when its common knowledge that men dont even need to care who a person is to try to just try to sleep with them? its so unfair. Im not saying all men should be in love, but the fact that they dont even give the smallest crap??

  • @chocolateaka5502
    @chocolateaka5502 8 лет назад +4

    I needed to hear this a couple of weeks ago.
    Good points.

  • @kathysutton2631
    @kathysutton2631 3 года назад +8

    A lot of women have been terribly hurt. It would b nice if you could be more compassionate!

  • @xxxxxxxx8903
    @xxxxxxxx8903 2 года назад +3

    Thank you for your perspective! I think it is a good exercise for all of us to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and then trying to find where interests overlap. I think all successful relationships are founded on win-win situations between people who at times have different wants and perspectives.
    I personally had the rule while dating that any guy who attempted sex before third date was not a good fit for me - I'm conservative and I assume what a guy does to me, he did to the other women as well. If he passed that "test" (seeing if our values about sex were compatible), from there on I did my best to communicate how far I was comfortable going at any given time. I utilised John Grey's advice of communicating to the man that I find him desirable but I just need to go slow. It worked well for me, but I've only had the chance to use it on one man so I have limited evidence. Found a man whose values match with mine and now were 1.5 years into a relationships, heading for marriage :)

  • @journaj9992
    @journaj9992 8 лет назад +8

    I've been a fan and reader/listener of yours for 3-4 years now and am just getting back into dating after my father passed away last year and I needed a good year-plus to even want to date again. So far, your advice is working SO WELL. I've absorbed a lot of the info over the years and also made a conscious decision not to go after the men I used to be attracted to (generally, selfish alpha males whom I felt sexual chemistry with but not much of a connection otherwise). The struggle now is that I am dating a new person and he definitely wants to have sex but respects my boundaries (I have kissed and "fooled around" with him but we have been dating less than a month and I don't feel comfortable having sex yet). I know I will get better at this, but communicating to a man that you don't have sex without commitment can be really difficult. Bringing up relationship status early on is awkward and can scare the man away. Yet, I'm holding fast to there being an understanding of monogamy before we have sex. All I will say is, I'm finding dating to be still frustrating at times, but so much less confusing since reading your books, blog, watching videos etc. I don't know how things will turn out with this guy, but feel confident I'm not going to have the continual cycle of drama that once was my love life. Thank you Evan!

  • @natalid9199
    @natalid9199 21 день назад

    I love how frank you are!!!

  • @missair222
    @missair222 4 года назад

    love the logic!

  • @GoddessHabits
    @GoddessHabits 3 года назад +4

    It seems like this contradicts with a lot of your other advice?

  • @conniememmolo
    @conniememmolo 4 года назад +3

    Huge fan. Love how you break things down and tell it like it is. I found this topic interesting and it seems logical. My male friends would all agree and yet this has never been my experience. I find that if there is a great connection and things are moving forward (without including 3rd base), men will stick around.

    • @evanmarckatz
      @evanmarckatz  4 года назад

      I appreciate that!

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 3 года назад +1

      It depends a lot on how he feels about you, if you've established an emotional connection. A guy who's really in love versus in lust WILL indeed wait! I know, I've lived it.

  • @oporter1452
    @oporter1452 7 лет назад +4

    "Take them to 3rd base". Lol. I like that!
    I avoided listening to this particular topic for weeks because I thought you would take me on some sanctimonious, guilt trip about how women should be coy and "lady-like" for three month before having sex. I can hang out at third base until a commitment. That's reasonable.

  • @brownstoneres9467
    @brownstoneres9467 7 лет назад +12

    Hello Evan, i am wondering at what stage it is safe for a woman to disclose sexual abuse (in childhood) and the dissociation that is a consequence of it? Thanks!! BR

    • @caroliner2029
      @caroliner2029 5 лет назад +3

      Very good question BR
      Peace and healing to you. You're a precious person.

  • @shalimar29
    @shalimar29 Год назад

    But how far is acceptable to go physically before the relationship?

  • @stellarhope6954
    @stellarhope6954 6 лет назад +1

    love all the stories

  • @Miko-yw5xt
    @Miko-yw5xt 5 лет назад +1

    I've had a recurring problem with men lunging from behind at me they dont lean in, I flinched everytime...x

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 3 года назад +1

      That's bizarre. That's why I take it slow and get to know a man as long as it takes for me to feel comfortable. I'm not attracted to many men and I'm modest, so I'm not like many other women nowadays. Don't need instant sexual gratification. I need a classy, kind man who respects me.

    • @Miko-yw5xt
      @Miko-yw5xt 3 года назад

      @@LisaGemini
      I wasn't with any of them. I did like one of them so I gave him the benefit of the doubt, I apologised and explained but he blew me off with interest and he's rubbed my nose in it ever since. amen to trust respect and finding a classy guy...x

  • @michellet822
    @michellet822 7 лет назад +5

    I've had the guy turn his cheek and say, "I like to take things slow." Was pretty disheartening :(

    • @Lisa_M_V
      @Lisa_M_V 6 лет назад +5

      Chellzapoppin T that’s great. Slow is great. Would be nice if more men did this but most rush

    • @Lisa_M_V
      @Lisa_M_V 6 лет назад +1

      Chellzapoppin T if he didn’t want to see you again he’d say so. Men are simple creatures.

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 3 года назад +3

      Wow, I've never had that happen but I'm not really an experienced dater. I think it's a good sign, actually. Too many people hop into bed with strangers. I refuse to do that and don't fit in with this hook-up culture, which is very selfish.

    • @louisinese
      @louisinese Год назад

      @@LisaGemini When courting if she is ready to go the month of meeting I won't take her too serious.

  • @yc5141
    @yc5141 Год назад +1

    But in your other videos you say you don’t have sex until your in a committed relationships?? You’re contradicting yourself.

  • @avalonmist254
    @avalonmist254 3 года назад +1

    Gosh I thought I had it bad

  • @ananaanana8458
    @ananaanana8458 3 года назад

    Guy must sense our wibes.

  • @ananaanana8458
    @ananaanana8458 3 года назад +1

    I thought I had bad dates......

  • @mariebeau-frere367
    @mariebeau-frere367 6 лет назад +4

    Hi, Evan, thanks for the video. Why doesn't a man communicate his feelings before taking the next step of holding hands, touching or kissing a woman?
    Thanks!

    • @margopeery1860
      @margopeery1860 5 лет назад +1

      Marie Beau-frere he IS communicating his feelings by holding hands Etc

    • @LisaGemini
      @LisaGemini 3 года назад

      They aren't encouraged to talk and share their feelings as much as we are. And those three actions you mention ARE how he conveys his feelings. He's attracted to you and is flirting with you if he does all that.

  • @ladyk2002
    @ladyk2002 3 года назад

    Well 2 mos later and No kissing on the first Thanks for treating me like a lady ..

  • @levanahbatlila859
    @levanahbatlila859 5 лет назад

    When and how to bring up STD and how to deal with STD.?

    • @evanmarckatz
      @evanmarckatz  5 лет назад

      www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/sex/if-i-have-herpes-how-can-i-tell-the-new-guy-im-dating

    • @jackpotwinner1260
      @jackpotwinner1260 5 лет назад +1

      I bring it up as soon as they bring sex up if they cant wait till that and lm ready they need to move on.

  • @genevaballard3081
    @genevaballard3081 7 лет назад

    I have an old boy that I have trouble with sex eiy

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 Год назад

    Ahhhb that happened to me! And I’m quite pretty, an RN & Pilates instructor as well- I’m fit. He did that to me!
    And I’ve been ruffied on a meet date too & yes I was date raped by the ruffs guy. Soooooo MEN ARE JUST AS PSYCHO AS THEY ACCUSE WOMEN OF BAD BEHAVIORS

  • @julielynch2778
    @julielynch2778 2 года назад

    After explaining to a guy that I liked someone else and that we were just friends...the guy attempted to kiss me while going to car. He ended up kissing my hand. He and I can laugh about it and I got a free drink. Sometimes it's ok to know that a guy is just "Testing the Waters" because he is a guy. I had a boundary...He tried to cross a bridge...and my hand went up. We are still friends and I REALLY still enjoy guys. I'm flattered, but he was going thru a bad breakup and we both needed someone to share a drink with.- Wanted to share this story. He took a risk and I respect that. He is a great Catch for the right girl.-Julie

  • @kittycorner789
    @kittycorner789 5 лет назад +2

    Never date a guy that you wouldn't have sex with.