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Being harmonious conflicts with being authentic. As young INFJ Padawans we are primarily focused on compassion, humility, and altruism, as we mature we add another layer of awareness/perception, warrior, justice. The catalyst for this change are the Cluster B personality disorders. It's not a secret that INFJs often pick the narcissists (and vice-versa) as our dance partners. It took a dark triad ex-girlfriend to inadvertently integrate my shadow into my whole self. I then switched primary on being authentic while integrating my harmonious self into one character. I personally don't connect putting on a false mask with being harmonious, false masks are associated with our dance partners (the dark side of humanity) and they purposely do that to deceive. INFJ's working moral compass detests deceptions. The chameleon effect, from this INFJ's perceptive, is used in the wild as a defensive measure to blend in with our surroundings to avoid predators. And the chameleon (crazy looking) eyes is us being highly aware of our surroundings and constantly looking around for the narcissists (the predators) which doesn't require much mental energy as it's natural for the chameleons, as we slowly cruise thru social settings, though once we mature, we are just one heart-beat away from turning suddenly into a paladin (the added layer of maturing into a Jedi) if a predator thinks they can targets us.
I love this analogy. How does one mature into a jedi? I feel like I am mid phase after coming out of a narcissist relationship. Thank you for sharing your insights, they really resonate and give hope
I am a hider, always have been. I accept myself, others don't. Why would I put myself in the line of fire!? I am myself when I deem you unsafe, I can feel your aggression. I am myself when I deem you safe and let you in. I won't "change" myself to please you, I will just dismiss you and walk away. To say that INFJ's want to be be like others is ridiculous.
All this is true, but the fact is, too many people don't want to listen. I am a mature INFJ. A retired private investigator. And when you try to help people or tell them the truth (as an investigator) people are in denial and do not want to hear it.. Much of the time when I tell people the truth, they think that I'm cynical because? People that live with denial do not want to face the facts, don't want to hear the truth, or even if/ what would help them.
It’s interesting that you’ve been a private investigator. I remember many years ago how I took this big aptitude test in 9th grade. It was no surprise to me that I scored the highest in being creative and artistic, but the 2nd thing after that? It stated something about that I would be a good detective! I am very sensitive and I can’t stand it sometimes, but I know sometimes I do pick up on things that other people seem to miss or not understand that this is happening. I think sometimes I will sort of just know that this person here just said something to me that isn’t quite right or that probably is a lie. And other people don’t see it and if I bring it up they will say are you accusing so and so of lying??? I will say I’m not accusing anyone of anything, but what they just said really isn’t an actual fact there. And then I will probably just feel like I’m just dropping this. I’m not out to be a lawyer to prove something, but yes, a lot of the time I feel very misunderstood.
I've been labeled cynical, cold, intense, etc. for telling people the truth or pointing out certain realities. My analysis as to why people don't want or can't hear the truth... it's because that knowledge requires responsibility or action, and most people don't want to be responsible or take any action. A lot of people don't have the imagination to see that if we work collectively toward solutions our problems are not insurmountable.
Exactly. Its not that were closed off its just that we know we, or what we are truly thinking, isnt of importance to the other and instead of saying something and getting a weird look and a deadening silence id rather talk about something else.
You know, I’m really tired of all these theories about the INFJ personality. Yes, I am one. Are we really so rare? We know damn well that many people can be judgemental!!! Everyone tries to get us to open up and express our feelings, a lot of times when we do, we regret it. Because we are very insightful and sensitive and usually try to be considerate, a lot of times we are the underdogs and all these extroverted people WILL pick on us because we are the ones who will be truth tellers and not let some bully mess with someone who’s frightened. Of course we often feel like us against the world.
Thank you.! .Because Whether you are or you are not...an INFJ...Whatever type you are...tIf you watch this video inspires you to be you! A better you too!
You do not need to be an infj you just need to be human - we are all infjs no more categories to make us feel Special - your here - your alive beating billions of other sperms and your here for good or for bad - so be you faults and victories . There is only one of you that will ever be so how will You be ?
👉 Get your FREE Personality Test here: rebrand.ly/5hjxde9
Relationship Guidance:
👉 Learn the psychology of men to make him worship you: rebrand.ly/yhwg6k8
👉 Discover the psychology to attract a loving, loyal girlfriend: rebrand.ly/9qw1iyf
PS. Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE with a friend!
Thank you for all your support 🙏
Being harmonious conflicts with being authentic. As young INFJ Padawans we are primarily focused on compassion, humility, and altruism, as we mature we add another layer of awareness/perception, warrior, justice. The catalyst for this change are the Cluster B personality disorders. It's not a secret that INFJs often pick the narcissists (and vice-versa) as our dance partners. It took a dark triad ex-girlfriend to inadvertently integrate my shadow into my whole self. I then switched primary on being authentic while integrating my harmonious self into one character.
I personally don't connect putting on a false mask with being harmonious, false masks are associated with our dance partners (the dark side of humanity) and they purposely do that to deceive. INFJ's working moral compass detests deceptions. The chameleon effect, from this INFJ's perceptive, is used in the wild as a defensive measure to blend in with our surroundings to avoid predators. And the chameleon (crazy looking) eyes is us being highly aware of our surroundings and constantly looking around for the narcissists (the predators) which doesn't require much mental energy as it's natural for the chameleons, as we slowly cruise thru social settings, though once we mature, we are just one heart-beat away from turning suddenly into a paladin (the added layer of maturing into a Jedi) if a predator thinks they can targets us.
I love this analogy. How does one mature into a jedi? I feel like I am mid phase after coming out of a narcissist relationship. Thank you for sharing your insights, they really resonate and give hope
@@lamain9243 my replies are being deleted by RUclips. So, I'll say this, you need to find an INFJ Mentor, mine was Dr. Paul Dobransky (Google name).
@@lamain9243 I am not ignoring you, my replies are being deleted.
Are you in the states?
It’s being “TOO MUCH” always no matter who, where and when you’re sharing with, so you just get used to keep it all inside.
Raised by narcs
Truth will set you free. Dont be prey. Be the (authentic) Light. Best you can. God knows.
We show ourselves all the time. People just dont listen or dont understand. If its not about then they could care less
I am a hider, always have been. I accept myself, others don't. Why would I put myself in the line of fire!? I am myself when I deem you unsafe, I can feel your aggression. I am myself when I deem you safe and let you in. I won't "change" myself to please you, I will just dismiss you and walk away. To say that INFJ's want to be be like others is ridiculous.
All this is true, but the fact is, too many people don't want to listen.
I am a mature INFJ.
A retired private investigator.
And when you try to help people or tell them the truth (as an investigator) people are in denial and do not want to hear it..
Much of the time when I tell people the truth, they think that I'm cynical because? People that live with denial do not want to face the facts, don't want to hear the truth, or even if/ what would help them.
One has to be ready to hear and face the truth if they really want help or to change! Thanks for your insight!
It’s interesting that you’ve been a private investigator. I remember many years ago how I took this big aptitude test in 9th grade. It was no surprise to me that I scored the highest in being creative and artistic, but the 2nd thing after that? It stated something about that I would be a good detective! I am very sensitive and I can’t stand it sometimes, but I know sometimes I do pick up on things that other people seem to miss or not understand that this is happening. I think sometimes I will sort of just know that this person here just said something to me that isn’t quite right or that probably is a lie. And other people don’t see it and if I bring it up they will say are you accusing so and so of lying??? I will say I’m not accusing anyone of anything, but what they just said really isn’t an actual fact there. And then I will probably just feel like I’m just dropping this. I’m not out to be a lawyer to prove something, but yes, a lot of the time I feel very misunderstood.
I've been labeled cynical, cold, intense, etc. for telling people the truth or pointing out certain realities. My analysis as to why people don't want or can't hear the truth... it's because that knowledge requires responsibility or action, and most people don't want to be responsible or take any action. A lot of people don't have the imagination to see that if we work collectively toward solutions our problems are not insurmountable.
Exactly. Its not that were closed off its just that we know we, or what we are truly thinking, isnt of importance to the other and instead of saying something and getting a weird look and a deadening silence id rather talk about something else.
You know, I’m really tired of all these theories about the INFJ personality. Yes, I am one. Are we really so rare? We know damn well that many people can be judgemental!!! Everyone tries to get us to open up and express our feelings, a lot of times when we do, we regret it. Because we are very insightful and sensitive and usually try to be considerate, a lot of times we are the underdogs and all these extroverted people WILL pick on us because we are the ones who will be truth tellers and not let some bully mess with someone who’s frightened. Of course we often feel like us against the world.
❤
And then some…the entire universe ❤
The world is a huge theater and no one want someone calling them liers or stop pretending to look what they are not.
Soul speak. This is like everything, starting from my points of departure, can still be doable.
I will do this.
So glad it speaks to you!
Thank you.! .Because Whether you are or you are not...an INFJ...Whatever type you are...tIf you watch this video inspires you to be you!
A better you too!
You do not need to be an infj you just need to be human - we are all infjs no more categories to make us feel
Special - your here - your alive beating billions of other sperms and your here for good or for bad - so be you faults and victories . There is only one of you that will ever be so how will
You be ?
When one knows something extra etc, it naturaly comes w a feeling of alienation. get over it