FNAF: SB REWRITTEN - CH 9 (AO3 WRITTEN VERSION AVAILABLE!)

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  • Опубликовано: 12 янв 2023
  • Link to written version: archiveofourown.org/works/454...

Комментарии • 62

  • @kiwiqueen138
    @kiwiqueen138  Год назад +35

    All right, here we go, this is the point where the rewrite gets crazy. Did I do well with Monty? :D
    Link to next episode: ruclips.net/video/dSitwgwVROg/видео.html
    Link to previous episode: ruclips.net/video/NbRh6P-oCRY/видео.html
    Link to full playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLKMzqZUiHWUjzZj0jfJym1CTORp4rdEDD
    LINK TO WRITTEN VERSION: archiveofourown.org/works/45445291?view_full_work=true

    • @Da1X_Builds
      @Da1X_Builds Год назад +3

      You did amazing, this has been incredible so far!

    • @Thebluemamott
      @Thebluemamott Год назад +1

      In a word, *WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

    • @Thebluemamott
      @Thebluemamott Год назад +1

      I'm not a big monty fan but holy crap, I may have a new favorite character

    • @Da1X_Builds
      @Da1X_Builds Год назад +2

      @@Thebluemamott my head cannon is now Monty talks like android 13 from the DBZ Abridged Movie.

    • @icyferaligatr9908
      @icyferaligatr9908 Год назад +1

      Oh boy this chapter was insane. I could practically feel Gregory's dread as Monty just hid in the pool until he finished the race. But Monty being a nice guy was super unexpected. But i'm glad his character is getting beefed up more. Finally, that ending with all three in a standoff against Monty and Gregory makes me super excited to see where this goes in the next part. And finally, Jeromy replacing his father and being overly cruel is a good setup to everything happening. God damn this part was amazing. -Icy

  • @Jadinite-2006
    @Jadinite-2006 Год назад +43

    I loved how Monty has a bit of a Redemption Arc going on.

  • @lavendertoastmoth
    @lavendertoastmoth 11 месяцев назад +12

    “This place for kids is not safe for kids!”
    Best line in the whole series so far

  • @lumisherbert5682
    @lumisherbert5682 Год назад +50

    The thumbnail with Chica and Roxy missing their beak and eyes respectively jumpscared me.
    (Spoilers Below)
    Edit: splashing in a silent and completely still environment is probably one of the most terrifying sounds possible, especially if it's the kind of splash that implies that something big is actively moving closer.
    Edit 2: Having Thalassophobia makes this episode so much scarier
    Edit 3: Holy crap I love Monty so much. I wanna be his friend ^w^
    EDIT 4: "this place for kids is not a safe place for kids"

  • @movedtoanotherchannel
    @movedtoanotherchannel Год назад +11

    "Monty's Raceway"
    hey wait a minute somethings not right here-

  • @lpsfairy5038
    @lpsfairy5038 Год назад +26

    Can we just take a minute to appreciate how much time and effort went into this series it’s amazing!💜

  • @enderniffler628
    @enderniffler628 Год назад +18

    EVERYONE GET YOUR POPCORN AND EARLY TICKETS HERE! ITS MONTY TIME 🍿✨
    Edit 1: ACK THESE CLIFFHANGERS! Absolutely amazing work Kiwi! Can’t wait for the next chapter
    Edit 2: as a southern person that accent was pretty good 👌

  • @GallexyCat
    @GallexyCat Год назад +15

    Ahh, this was awesome!! I never thought I'd love Monty so much, but here we are. You wrote him to be so likeable, in a stubborn kind of way, plus the southern accent is adorable and weirdly perfect for him. I'm so glad Gregory has someone else on his side, and I can't wait to listen to more! This episode was phenomenal, Freddy being a dad was adorable, and the splashes in the otherwise dead quiet was awesome and terrifying. Love the series!

  • @cyanide_crow7970
    @cyanide_crow7970 Год назад +14

    Sometimes a family is two giant animatronic animals and their adopted gremlin son.
    What do you mean that didn't happen

    • @Wee_Mewon
      @Wee_Mewon Год назад +6

      It hasn’t happened...
      *yet*

    • @freedomroses
      @freedomroses Год назад +1

      There is no way to describe how much I love this pair of comments

  • @kratosdad1760
    @kratosdad1760 Год назад +7

    Omg monty being a good guy? Thats sick

  • @Da1X_Builds
    @Da1X_Builds Год назад +10

    Only a minute in and geebus does Chica look mortifying without her beak!
    Edit: Hell Yes! Southern Monty!

  • @piggymation4217
    @piggymation4217 Год назад +6

    I litterly binged the whole series in a day, im about to watch this and im super nervous-

  • @TVBug_
    @TVBug_ Год назад +3

    Moon, please don't kill Gregory

  • @mythicaldrawer7072
    @mythicaldrawer7072 Год назад +10

    I think I figured out why there are 44 chapters. It so they can get the others to unchip and team up against Vanessa, which I'm still questioning her motive! Is she doing this to get the remnant, but how would she know of it in the first place? If there is no Glitchtrap, that would me that William won't be coming back (right?)

  • @Sageknot
    @Sageknot Год назад +9

    YEEEEAAAAH
    Oml I love Monty so much, I wonder how he's gonna react to seeing Chica and Roxy obliterated (though he probably didn't like them that much in the first place so he'd likely side with Gregory i feel)

  • @mythicaldrawer7072
    @mythicaldrawer7072 Год назад +3

    I never thought I needed a southern accent Monty till I heard it.

  • @sensitivetomato2440
    @sensitivetomato2440 Год назад +17

    I love the slight southern drawl that Monty has! Is there a reason why you gave Monty Roxy's attraction and her laser tag?

    • @kiwiqueen138
      @kiwiqueen138  Год назад +19

      Roxy’s has a laser tag arena because
      1: X-ray vision would actually help her be better during Laser tag matches by being able to track down people that are hiding behind the walls (I don’t know why the game thought that having x-ray vision would help her in a race track lol)
      2: the association of her eyes being burned by the blaster
      Monty has the raceway because
      1: there be an actual reason for him to have a water-based a job, by being an obstacle for the kids, kind of like one of those ‘Big black chompy monsters on chains’ in Mario kart lol
      2: The golfing atmosphere had nothing going for it and it wasn’t very intimidating or complicated, I just prefer the idea of a race track more than golfing
      So basically, I switched around their games because it made the story a lot tidier :)

    • @sensitivetomato2440
      @sensitivetomato2440 Год назад +3

      @@kiwiqueen138 Thank you very much! That actually makes a lot of sense now that I think about it

    • @awe_brey_n_hd1266
      @awe_brey_n_hd1266 10 месяцев назад +1

      How the heck did I not see that X-ray vision would be better for laser tag lol

  • @spiritofchaos58
    @spiritofchaos58 9 месяцев назад +3

    Oh wow. wow wow WOW. What a chapter, where to start?
    I LOVE how you did the raceway! We really played with our expectations. with how Moon, Chica, and Roxy went, alongside Freddy's warning, everyone, Gregory included, was ready for Monty to be just as aggressive. The dread of waiting for him to attack was absolutely terrifying, and it just made him dragging Gregory into the water scarier.
    I adore the idea of Gregory having to pull the chip out of Monty. I'm just thinking of that being an actual minigame in the game, and it'd be sooo cool. I love how the takedown (or a non takedown here) of each animatronic feels so unique.
    And MONTY!!!! I LOVE HIM??? It's amazing how lovable he is. The accent, how childishly defensive he got about having disobeyed Venessia, and then how childishly smug he'd been about having been proved right. He's so funny, I love him. We got very little of an actual personality for him in-game, and yet this fits him perfectly. This is definitely a guy who'd say "You can hide, but you can't hide!" I'm gushing, he's just such a fun change of pace from all the attempted murder. I was smiling the whole time he was talking. His accent is so cute! He's a little cowboy!!!
    And GREGORY! We finally figured out why he's there, and we finally got a bit of backstory for him! I really enjoy how you're writing him; he really feels like a very smart, very terrified child in a way I don't think the game quite captured. I love how he's becoming braver as things go on; not only being more willing to fight back against his attackers, but also realizing that he has to save his brother.
    Gregory and Monty’s interactions are killing me in the best way possible. Gregory TEASING Monty over being afraid of Freddy is so funny, and only funnier given how afraid Gregory was of Freddy a few chapters ago. They’re so funny. I am SO excited to see Monty’s interactions with the others at play. ESPECIALLY Freddy and Chica, who seem like the nicest. It’ll be interesting to see how they justifying disliking him, when as far as we can tell, his only crime is having been Bonnie’s replacement.
    And the notes at the end!! Gosh, Music Man! That is HORRIFYING, absolutely nightmarish what they did to him. Wow. It makes sense how it happened under new management; I know there's no way Vic would've done that. Jeremy must've taken control soon after Bonnie's botched repair and later breakdown; there's NO WAY Vic would've had Bonnie decommissioned like that.
    Just…SUCH a good chapter. I love this so much. Golly. I want to kiss Monty on the forehead. I want someone to beat Jeremy Miller, cause he deserves it. Gosh.

  • @cycloneabsol9405
    @cycloneabsol9405 Год назад +3

    Holy shit I'm 30 seconds in and already terrified just by the art hot DAMN kiwi!!

  • @cycloneabsol9405
    @cycloneabsol9405 Год назад +3

    I love that you made Monty southern.

  • @TogenTheMamagen
    @TogenTheMamagen Год назад +3

    I litteraly was guessing what monty was gonna do, and i just knew it was about the chip, i knew it

  • @Dropsydrowsy
    @Dropsydrowsy Год назад +8

    Honestly I look forward to every Friday

  • @TheJAJPG
    @TheJAJPG Год назад +1

    Oh my gosh, this whole episode was amazing and I can’t wait to see the next one!

  • @icebirdj5935
    @icebirdj5935 Год назад +5

    Welp it's official, I'm legally a Monty fan

    • @JoshuaA1307
      @JoshuaA1307 2 месяца назад

      I have always been a Monty simp…. If no one loves him at his worst then they don’t deserve him at his best 😅

  • @malinok4889
    @malinok4889 Год назад +3

    I would love to play through this as a game

  • @PixelPower0615
    @PixelPower0615 Год назад +2

    24:03 That freaking gave me a heart attack!!!

    • @JoshuaA1307
      @JoshuaA1307 2 месяца назад +1

      Truly shows how well the performance was 😊

  • @squiddyflip3039
    @squiddyflip3039 Год назад +1

    24:04 Girl how did you make that sound effect that mwas CRAZY!

  • @cookieandme23
    @cookieandme23 Год назад +1

    I loves Monty’s voice

  • @greendevil8017
    @greendevil8017 Год назад +2

    **Me getting on RUclips**
    RUclips: Hey did you know that KiwiQueen posted
    Me: ART WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

  • @kratosdad1760
    @kratosdad1760 Год назад +2

    Oh yeah im so ready for this

  • @cycloneabsol9405
    @cycloneabsol9405 Год назад +2

    I can't listen to this yet, it's just too dam long, but holy crap am I hyped!

  • @cookieandme23
    @cookieandme23 Год назад +2

    Monty isn’t chipped?? He’s just extra I think there is to much time left 😬
    Edit: Owo that’s even cooler!!!

  • @Alphetawoofious
    @Alphetawoofious Год назад

    awe man, Victor M. gave em a good life down to his probable grave

  • @Alice_The_Person3707
    @Alice_The_Person3707 Год назад +1

    How did Gregory not put 2 and 2 together from the splashes and the carts disappearing and realize that the splashes were the carts falling in the water?

  • @wildwinter1971
    @wildwinter1971 Год назад +1

    Did you drop something in the bathtub for the splash sound effects

    • @kiwiqueen138
      @kiwiqueen138  Год назад +2

      Yep pretty much lol

    • @wildwinter1971
      @wildwinter1971 Год назад +3

      @@kiwiqueen138 cool really good episode I’m excited for the next one:D

  • @awe_brey_n_hd1266
    @awe_brey_n_hd1266 10 месяцев назад +1

    James?
    Okay where’s jessie

  • @jaidendoesrandomstuff-4619
    @jaidendoesrandomstuff-4619 Год назад +4

    My friend won’t talk to mEeEeEe so this is very great to see rn
    P.s. YIPPEE
    Edit: HOLY HELL 1 HOUR⁉️⁉️

  • @catalinadima7630
    @catalinadima7630 Год назад +2

    hi :)

  • @astrumcat64.mp4
    @astrumcat64.mp4 Год назад +1

    Hole shit. Holy shit AAAAA

  • @cookieandme23
    @cookieandme23 Год назад +1

    I love how the pitcher is edited with Roxie’s lost eyes and chickas meat up vibes lost beck

  • @lexxblep-groundzero1369
    @lexxblep-groundzero1369 9 месяцев назад

    several hundred pounts of mechanical gator sounds like a goor time to me 7w7 45:01

    • @lexxblep-groundzero1369
      @lexxblep-groundzero1369 9 месяцев назад

      OMG THIS IS SO COOL THE IDEA THAT GREGORY IS A RUN AWAY!!1
      YOU ARE A GENIOUS!!!
      THIS IS SO COOL!!

    • @lexxblep-groundzero1369
      @lexxblep-groundzero1369 6 месяцев назад

      I love the choice to make Monty's intentions really mysterious at first.
      Is he going to hurt or kill Gregory or is he trying to help him it's really really weird at first and then whenever you find out what he's truly doing is interesting.
      The choice to make Monty even more of an outlier than the others is amazing
      Go guys!!

  • @koopajuniorsavannah5170
    @koopajuniorsavannah5170 Год назад +1

    Did like it much

  • @Wee_Mewon
    @Wee_Mewon Год назад +1

    Monty is fren 😃

  • @Lizzy_Stories09
    @Lizzy_Stories09 Год назад

    Me wondering what happened to Freddy 😰😧