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I’m disappointed you have these guys as a sponsor. They are their own type of red flag. I got in a small fender bender that was technically my fault. Everyone walked and drove away in their cars. The male passenger of the other car even laid on the ground to inspect the underside of his car. Months later he started suing me through my insurance via Morgan and Morgan. He claimed something like $300,000 in lost wages, surgery, etc for supposedly having to have a back surgery due to the accident. Long story short, my insurance settled with M&M for my max personal injury and then promptly dropped me from the insurance. It is the only car accident I’ve been in, in my entire life. The guy certainly didn’t show any major pain or whatnot. I see M&M as just “ambulance chaser” types who really push. I do not believe that guy needed back surgery from this small fender bender but my insurance company also didn’t want to fight it.
@@carrieb7313so...many feel injuries from accidents DAYS later...not right away...when adrenaline is high and so is stress from the situation altogether. John Morgan isnt actually shady...and wont even bother with cases that he knows wont win, so...have to assume youre exaggerating somewhere in there, like...probably worse than you claim. Also, yes.. even small fender benders can cause bodily damage, especially to backs. My own family still suffers from back problems from an accident 30 yrs old...doing 15 mph...on a soft dirt road. And i literally had family who worked for him who made it very clear he doesnt just take any case, but cases he knows stands a good chance. Thats WHY his record is so good.
And to be out of breathe and throw up, i could never have guessed😂 I feel so bad for her though, sometimes i wish men couls get pregnant so they have a little respect
"my wife is 6 months pregnant, she's been a couch potato recently" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? maybe he thinks babies come from storks and being pregnant is just waiting for your baby to come lol
That dude needs to get divorced and pay through the nose forever on the childsupport. Because he would only fck up that child and has already done his darndest to do that to his wife also
“My wife is six months pregnant, and she’s gained some weight for some reason recently” I’m surprised this man even knew how to get her pregnant, because he doesn’t seem to know what pregnancy even is
If I had a "friend" who apologized to me for their wife's behaviour for getting sick on a hike, I'd probably loose my shit.... If said wife was pregnant, I'd probably consider taking the husband on another hike deep in the mountains...... to talk.....
I hear the section of Yellowstone National Park specifically in Idaho is an ideal place for talks like that. Beautiful scenery, the perfect setting overall. It'd be a crime not to go there. 😉
@@bonkers1917 I also thought Yosemite. But when I went to double check before posting I saw it said Yellowstone on several sites. This is just one of them. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_of_Death_(Yellowstone)
"She let herself go" "She embarrassed me in front of my friends" "My friends slowed down for her so I had to slow down too" "She's at least partially to blame" I hope she reads this post and divorces him
He has absolutely zero regard for her or their impending kid. All he's worried about is how her looks and behavior reflect on him. He is the Main Character; he's the Center of the Known Universe. His wife and gestating child are simply accessories in his Tough-Guy Wardrobe. If his wife wants a life in which she's valued as a genuine human, she needs to sprint to the nearest divorce attorney.
If she doesn't divorce him, I hope the comments roast him so bad he changes. Probably won't change but I hope he does for her sake. Or she leaves him and he is never left unattended with their kid
@@Casey21.no, he is not redeemable at this point. His behavior may change but it won’t last long. She needs to GTFO before the baby is born. Can you imagine what a POS of a father he will be??
Went on reddit and found out that the first guy deleted his account, he was SO far up his ass that when people werent siding with him, he couldnt handle it. I hope his post reaches his wife.
@@lieslmichelle4136if she really talked to him the way the guy described her to do so then i believe she has the sense to not allow him to further distress her and the baby out. I do hope she left him but thats hardly likely considering shes just having his baby
@@minisnakali They were all telling him he was an asshole, and that she should lose HIS weight (as divorcing him), basically they were giving him the biggest reality check ever. And when I mean NO ONE was siding with him, I really mean NO ONE
My first pregnancy (when I didn't know any better) I went on a short hike with some friends. Pre-pregnancy I used to run this trail. I remember during this particular hike I got light-headed and had to stop several times. My friends were so gracious and waited on me to catch my breath. At one point I felt dizzy and had to sit down. I'm now pregnant with my third and let me tell you...pregnancy changes everything in your body! It is no small matter.
When I was 23 weeks preggo, I asked my husband to go to a small hike with me, he said absolutely not and forbid me to go, we did a 1 mile flat walk at the beach instead and I felt like my intestine was coming down from below. It hurts soooo badly and my husband was like “hiking huh” and asked if I need to Uber back lol. I don’t think the guy in the first story understands how painful it is to carry a watermelon around and pull your skin and body down. I’m so grateful my husband understands it and he’s the type that work out at 5:30 am everyday.
Not only that but your body starts secreting a hormone that loosens all your joints so your muscles work differently so everything that you used to be able to do feels more strenuous. You can literally collapse, for example when I was four or five months pregnant I walked a quarter mile down the store, when I normally wore walked 5 to 10 mi without issue And I had to call to be picked up because I literally could not even stand. My hip gave out of the joint and even with it back in the muscle would not bear weight. But also your blood increases by 1.5, so that increased circulations also a strain on your body when it comes to exercise. That is aside from when your uterus starts to get heavy!!
No one is pointing out the fact the black woman was invited by the mother not the bride. I hold the mother 1000000% accountable for that entire situation. Theres a possibility the bride didnt even know till the woman showed up
Mothers go insane around weddings for some reason. For me, it was my own grandma. She barely talks to me and is very disappointed that Im not what she envisioned for me. Yet as soon as I let people know I was getting married, well, it basically became her party. So much so I gave up. Let my Grandpa pay for the church ceremony and the party for her and her friends and then my husband and I payed for a separate one. My actual wedding was a gorgeous, laid back beach party with my friends.
AND OP asked all the right questions before she even came! The mom said "dress to impress"! What did that horrid mom expect?!! Shame on every last one of those horrible racist people! I feel awful for OP. She must've felt like the butt of a bad joke
We normal germans do not claim those people they were so rude towards her she did nothing wrong I would love to have her at my wedding those are just jealous people we don’t act like this super inappropriate
My husband and I used to love going on hikes all the time! I have PoTS, so he's always been very careful about what hikes we choose. As soon as we found out that I'm pregnant, he encouraged me to take walks around the neighborhood (exercise is great during pregnancy... as long as you feel up to it), but he doesn't want me to go on any hikes because he's worried about my pregnancy and PoTS. He's the best :)
"I apologized for my wife's behavior." This reminds me of the time my grandfather died and my mother broke down. We were at the neighbor's house in a 'pool party' kinda. My step father apologized to our neighbor for my mother's crying. I'll never forgive him for that. There’s no having empathy and then there's things like these.
What an absolutely awful thing to do. My abusive ex did these kind of things to me many times. I am epileptic with severe PTSD (PTSD that he made 10x worse) and have a lot of other medical issues and disabilities. One day we were at the mall and I experienced sensory overload load and low blood sugar and almost fainted. He got angry and told me I was “causing a scene” and embarrassing him. It was one of the only times ever, but I snapped at him “I can’t fucking help that I’m unwell right now”. (I want to add that I was in no way causing a “scene”. I wasn’t making any noises, I wasn’t shouting or loudly talking. I was whispering and sat down at a table and just covered my ears. I’m very insecure in public so I know for a fact I wasn’t being distracting) Some people just lack empathy and aren’t necessarily bad people, but this kind of behavior? Yeah that makes you a bad person. Your mom deserves better.
@Susgoose33 oh for sure. We just don't have the means to leave yet, but it's coming. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just monstrous without even they realizing it.
This is an absolute genuine question. What ARE you supposed to do in that situation? Just leave and say nothing? Phrase an apology appropriately for making other guests uncomfortable without laying blame at other people? Such a thing is so far away from any possible frame of reference I could have that I just legitimately have no idea how one would handle something like that.
@@denofpigs2575 If I was the husband (step-dad of OP), I'd offer her a way to have a moment alone. People crying usually don't want to be in the middle of a big group of people. So maybe give her a hug, excuse ourselves, and bring her to another room if possible, a more secluded area. Then ask what she'd like to do (go home or stay at the party longer). If anyone asked about her crying, I'd say something like "She had a loss in the family recently, she needs a moment".
I’m currently pregnant. The Red Flag in the first post needs to take a birthing class that focuses on the physiological aspects of pregnancy _and_ birth. Being pregnant is not for the weak.
Nah, that dude barely acknowledged the fact his wife was pregnant. Why would he make any effort? He clearly doesn't have any respect for his wife. He can take the birthing class after he rewires his entire way of thinking.
Wait till he finds out about the 6 week or more abstinence once the baby is born. And she won't be as cuddly after having the baby hanging on her all day
Omfg… I hope she divorces him. She threw up because she had low blood sugar. In the army, we’d get nauseous at the end of physical training when our blood sugar was near depleted and I’m pretty sure that the body prioritizes the baby with respect to blood sugar, just as the baby will take calcium from Mom’s bones and iron from her blood. I just realized she’s SIX MONTHS pregnant!!! The baby is pressing on her lungs, her bladder, and she’s likely dehydrated as well!! I just can’t… What a POS.
Yeah dress to impress is definitely not how you want to phrase the dresscode for a wedding invitation😅🙈 and nobody does that where I am (Switzerland). If anything, the best man and maid of honor will write in the info mail that is usually sent out beforehand that people should come in suits and ball gowns if you want them to dress their best, and maybe also that you don't want certain colors like light cream or bright red (white should be a given but should still be mentioned because you can be sure that you have one person on your guest list who will not get it if not told up front😂). But not "dress to impress". That could go wrong in so many different ways. Similarly, if you tell people nothing and say you don't care, you can be sure that there will be at least a couple of people who will come in their worst worn-out t-shirts with holes in them😂 Be specific if you want people to look a certain way. Otherwise, don't be offended if they don't.
I was unsure before seeing the picture who was at fault here because I didn't know if the dress was actually wildly inappropriate somehow, but it's really beautiful and doesn't look like a wedding dress. I think it's a little too flashy for a wedding with a "cocktail attire" or "dressy casual" but this was a "dress to impress theme." And she was looking impressive!
girl: **asks about dress code** mom: **gets vague instructions** girl: **follows vague instructions, with little knowledge about the wedding culture, but she's trying to learn** mom: How dare you
@@lyssgoddess there's a picture on her profile of the dress and it was amazing! Honestly, if someone wore that to my wedding I wouldn't mind??? Like, yeah, it's gorgeous but it's not like upstaging the bride to a large degree, it's a beautiful cultural dress that would look amazing at any event tbh
I know, right? The baby is literally pushing her organs up towards her lungs and pressing on them - making it harder to breathe - while hormones are wrecking her mind and pregnancy physically tires her out. But she's an asshole for "being a couch-potato" and getting sick during an activity that would put a strain on her body. Pregnancy make ladies short of breath from just talking, or walking to the bathroom. No wonder she got sick and pale on a "steep hike". Man needs a pregnancy book.
My dad did the same thing to my mom when she was pregnant with me. He was always bugging her to push herself physically, he didn’t believe pregnancy should slow her down. She was on a hike when she went into labor 3 months early. I was born at 2lbs 6oz and the doctor told my mom I only had a 10% chance of survival (this was in 1985)
The baby literally pushing her guts up to press on her lungs, along with the physical drain of being pregnant, and the hormones... I've seen ladies short of breath from talking and going to the bathroom. Dude needs a pregnancy book.
I would have personally felt honored if someone wore their traditional cultural attire to my wedding. I see it as a sign of respect and how important they view the event.
I totally agree with you. I would feel honored that the woman felt comfortable enough to share their heritage with me. I’m the bride. Nothing anyone wears will outshine my moments.
I once went to an Indian wedding with my aunt and uncle. We were the only non-Indians there and they had us wear their traditional clothes so we could share in their culture. They even insisted on us keeping the clothes as a memory of the event. I still have the outfit almost 25 years later. It was beautiful and a really cool experience, especially for a kid who was raised in the middle of farm country. I don't understand hating people that want to share their culture with others.
The woman posted the photo that inspired the dress she wore to her profile on Reddit. It's dark green with gold spots, nothing particularly "cultural" about it. The mother of the bride was just being r4c1st.
Well, I'm African Arab. And calling our weddings a fashion show is the understatement of the century. It's considered bad manners if you come dressed in anything less.
I'm French and attended a wedding in Algeria. I wore a dress with beading in jewel tones that would probably be too much for a French wedding, and I felt underdressed. Everyone looked gorgeous!
This is really so cool! I know I was really curious what the OP of the story was wearing to the wedding since every wedding I've been were the typical wedding you'd see on TV, formal event attire.
Africans really know how to dress for the occasion. The color and the style is UNPARALLELED. I would have LOVED if someone dressed like that at my wedding. It wasn’t white so who cares?! It’s not her fault she’s hotter than the bride 😂
@@abcdmefgh2843Yeah but OP asked before hand. "Dress to impress" has different connotations for different people from different cultures. The family should have been more clear.
@@audhumbla6927 if i ever had a man like that, i wouldnt only loose my shit, all hell would break loose bc aint no fcking way i would let that slide. Probably send him back to 6th grade too
First story: dude, your wife is not letting herself go, she's growing a baby. It takes herculean effort to carry on with the day to day, forget hiking excursions. If you have energy to burn, I have some suggestions. Clean the house, prepare her favorite meals, give her a foot massage, and maybe do the grocery shopping. Red flags for you, but you get a chance to redeem yourself when the baby comes. Don't blow it.
bold of you to assume he would even show up. he would insist he had to "work," stay home watching the game with his buddies, and god help her if she needs a c-section because he sure won't...
My father would be like this. He threw tantrums, I was told, when my sister and I were infants, because my mother should feed him first, as he was the one working and we weren't doing anything but sleep. I hope this guy changes once the child is born but chances are she's going to divorce him and fight for alimony until the child is 18yo.
Do not be weird to people with psychopathy please. People who do wrong things deliberately are your enemy, not people with alternative brain structures and/or mental illnesses.
There's far too many like that, a young couple I know had the opposite where he kept feeding her more snacks because he wanted to be certain she and baby would fine. "Oh don't worry about some extra weight, it's good for you both" And that thread is all the faith I have left for modern relationships.
When I was pregnant as I passed the 6 month mark, I got winded more easily because I was carrying more weight, my uterine growth put pressure on my diaphragm, making it harder to breathe, and the baby’s position. Did this person even look at any material concerning pregnancy? What a callous, arrogant jerk.
Yeah I remember the last month or two of my pregnancy that I would get out of breath just talking on the phone! I really hope that first story was fake.
I'm european, from South Italy. Here the policy for women is not white cause it's for the bride, and not black modest dress cause it's not a funeral; then, it's really a fashion show 😂 so I guess the problem are the coworkers
Second Swede here. Depending on the wedding, and how close you are, you can come in very casual clothing. When my dress didn't fit me anymore before my sisters wedding, she was such a gem and told me to come in a tshirt and sweats (aka my normal everyday clothing). She wouldn't even have cared if I wore white. I could have come in full camo if I wanted. Which is actually what my friend from Norway told me I could do for her wedding (it never happened due to the... virus). Italy I can see it being more leaning towards a fashion show. Not trying to be mean or anything, it's just that Italy and France are like the "fashion capitals" of Europe. Oh! I just remembered! Some of the guests at my sisters wedding actually had like, biker wests. For context on that, many of the guests were their friends and fellow DACA members (drivers against child ab*se). They still looked formal in a way. One of them had this really cute little pocket handkercheif in his west and it was adorable to see this big dude with tats and his beard braided so nicely.
@@lina9535 oh, your sister seems quite nice, and her wedding amazing! And don't worry, don't offende taken cause it's quite true lol(I'm joking) it's also a cultural things from some older generation, at least speaking of my side of country: weddings are considered very important social gaterings in which family celebration mixes with other kind of local folklore about prosperity and stuff, so it's kind of desrespectful don't show in your most lavish/beautiful attire
As a woman who loves hiking, being that pregnant and hiking would be awful. It's not just being a bit out of shape, your entire body is working hard all the time to keep you and your baby alive. Even just walking on the treadmill at a brisk pace was enough to make me vomit. I feel so bad for the wife, my husband has always encouraged me to exercise but he knows I couldn't do much.
I know haha I was saying that before pregnancy I hiked a mountain and ran a half marathon (on a wounded knee, not recommended lol) The first trimester had me all winded after a mile walk. Girl was 6 months oh gosh:(
I don't think that's enough. The dude apologized for his wife throwing up and said she embarrassed him. She needs to make an exit plan. Dude has some kind of narcissism going on.
I feel bad for the lady from Africa. She really didn't do anything wrong. Maybe it was a faux pas, but she doesn't deserve to be treated badly. Her German colleges need to learn some grace in my opinion, and be more specific about the dress code if it matters that much to them.
Yeah same! Like if she had worn a white wedding dress like gown, I could see someone I guess kind of caring (be it that she didn't know the culture). But like everyone at a wedding is their for the couple, I don't really believe in outshining.
9:35 She literally told her dress to impress. How could that have been interpreted in any other way than wear your nicest clothes? Sounds like Mom of the bride and bride herself aren't very gracious, or competent at that.
@@VforVendettas Yeah, we no longer have a book of etiquette everyone follows. Yet we got all these people who assume you have the same code they do and hold you accountable for things you didn't know. So I hate it when people just say "manners" and don't specify. Like, some people teach their kids to call all adults "ma'am" and "sir" and others don't, and then the kids get scolded for not doing it. Why assume everything is deliberate?
I checked out that reddit post and she actually shared a picture of herself on her profile because so many people were curious about it. I've seen some stunning wedding attire from various countries all over that continent and I could see how some styles can be more attention grabbing and elaborate than others (although I think even if she had the most over the top everything she still wouldn't have been in the wrong) Her dress was stunning. It is elegant and beautifully designed. At least here in the states this would have 100% been appropriate wedding attire. I hate the cliche of saying this but it genuinely sounds like they were being mean because they were jealous (and also racist) If you click on the link in the video description and click on the authors name she's got it posted still and it's beyond gorgeous but in my mind she did absolutely nothing wrong
I am a black woman with a diverse group of friends. My wedding had a similar vague dress code and I absolutely loved the time and effort that people went to, to bring their best in culturally traditional clothes. It made my wedding absolutely beautiful in pictures. And it was a show of respect to me and my family. I think if something like that actually ruined your day, you’re just miserable people.
The fact that they said dress to impress and then got angry about traditional African garb is just straight up racist. I'm UK based, I've seen so many beautiful African families in their traditional clothing over the years and it always makes me so happy. The bride and mother in this story are awful people 😡
They very much do sound like miserable people. The whole thing comes off as a nasty borderline setup tbh. People who are at all bothered with 'outshining' and being all gossipy and intriguing about it, are being petulant and mean little girls. It never ceases to amaze me how certain people just peak around year 8 in public school and never move on from that social MO.
I am from Germany,and usually there's only one unspoken rule when it comes to wedding clothes: Don't wear white like the bride,if nothing special is announced through the invitation. I am shocked listening to this story,because mostly Germans aren't racist persons.I mean,she did nothing wrong,wore green - not white,the bride's colour- and I am very sure,her outfit was absolutely beautiful and appropriate.It is a shame,that this happened to her,the bride's mother had been more precisely about what to wear at a wedding,so OP could better understand german weddings.So she got a very bad impression of german people,I am very sure,a different bride with a different mother would have handle this with better manners.
agreed. I would never put down someone for embracing their culture and looking beautiful at a celebration. I would feel honored to have such beautiful guests tbh. I enjoy beautiful things in life so i guess there’s that. 😊
I'm Indian & our wedding tradition is very similar to yours. Weddings are about shamelessly flaunting your sartorial sense & style, & it's visually extravagant. In fact the families get offended if guests don't turn up well decked. Also, it's impossible to outshine an Indian bride.
1st story bothers me so much. I went hiking with my husband 6 months pregnant 3 miles hike (my stubborn idea). Well I barely made it a mile and started crying and my husband carried me and the rest of the family carried our bags. I can't imagine what that lady went through
Hey guy, when my mom was 3-5 months pregnant with my brother when I was THREE I made her put her feet up and get her water every single time after we got home from a one-block walk or the park and would entertain myself while she took a breather, you are just about the worst husband on the planet because as a toddler who didn't even understand completely what was happening to my mom, I understood that she was dealing with a lot physically
That’s so sweet! ❤ My daughter tried taking care of me like that when I was pregnant with my son / her brother. My husband did a damn good job of taking care of me though.
OK, but you saying that you "MADE her put her feet up" is honestly hilarious. The mental picture of a three year old being like "Nope, don't you DARE move, I am gonna get everything for you, STAY RIGHT THERE AND RELAX!" is so funny and cute.
I can't imagine what the guy from the first story is going to be like as a Dad. How does he not have any empathy for his wife and actually doesn't think he did anything wrong.
I know exactly how he’ll be because my dad forced my mom on a hike which is why I was born 3 months early at 2lbs 6oz. Let’s just say I don’t like my dad.
He definitely didn't take her to the doctor after the hike either which is a bad idea considering the state she was in. I hope they divorce because it would be better for them.
I always say that! "When you cheat on a partner, you cheat on your whole family!". So I never understood when couples stay together for their kids. They are only the scapegoat.
„Ahhh yes my wife is six month pregnant and her having a big belly is surely because she doesn’t move and not because she has a child inside her“ I’m sure that that was exactly what the man in the first story thought
Reminds me of my ex-husband when I was pregnant. He said being pregnant is no excuse to gain weight. A baby only weighs about six pounds and I could easily offset that by loosing 6 pounds.
@@brendamoon2660 I suppose his car weighs less than 300 pounds too. No need for things like seats, carpeting, safety equipment, doors, windshield, etc.
Story 1 "My wife is 6 months pregnant, and has gained a bit of weight and is often moody." Does... Does he *not* know how pregnancy works?? Story 2 Red flag... but with good ending, I guess. Story 3 NTRF. Cultural dress-codes are not universal knowledge. (Also, faves to the mini-red flag!)
I was literally going to say this, like, WHAT???? It's almost the same as getting sick from a virus. She got sick from overexertion. If she caught the flu or covid and was weak and feverish and coughing and throwing up, would you also call those things behaviors??? what world does this idiot live in?
Yeah that pissed me off so much. Sounds like some parents I know who can't tell the difference between kids having issues and misbehaving - punishing them for wetting the bed or having food allergies
@@RavenSutcliffe unless the poor woman shoved her fingers down her throat to trigger vomiting, she threw up from stress and strain. throwing up because of illness is not a behavior.
Last story the mom probably saw how her co-worker dressed for work and assumed “a girl from Africa can’t possibly have anything expensive or fancy. She’ll just wear a business dress and I get to show off my black friend”. So gross! And I’ve seen it played out before
At 6 months I couldn’t walk down one aisle at the grocery store. I had developed a heart murmur. I hope his wife lets her doctor know what happened. Dude is a HUGE red flag.
With my oldest I had to wear a harness as I could barely walk at 4 months pregnant as she sat so low. My husband helped me into baths with Epsom salt and got me an amazing body pillow to help me be comfortable. This first dude doesn't deserve to have a wife or child. He only cares about what affects him and what he wants to do.
At 6 months pregnant my kids put so much pressure on my lungs I literally had to crawl up the two flights of stairs to get to our apartment. At 7 months they broke my ribs. I'm not saying that happens to every pregnant woman. But MAN! Pregnancy is hard physical work for your body! 😮
You see, some people see pregnancy and say "oh wow women are so fragile and weak". But no dude, pregnancy shows how tough women are. The most impressive and demanding task a human body can do.
Story 1: That dude has a divorce heading his way. YTA. Story 2: YTA. OP destoryed his family and his relationship with his daughter. But when the daughter tries to reach out, he blanks her. OP deserved to be alone. Story 3: NTA. All the co worker said was "dress to impress"... at a wedding. To a person who is not familar with western style weddings.
To me, even as an American, "dress to impress" implies a higher level of dress code than one would usually assume for a wedding. It would make me think that I had to get my hair, nails, and makeup done and spend way more than I'd be comfortable with on a new dress at a fancier store. Seems like a poor choice of words on the coworker's part.
My thought for story 3 back when I first read it was "why not just google, or ask for extra clarification". Then again, I tend to worry a lot about things 😅
Yeah, the hike could have just been a dumb mistake. His reaction to it was almost cartoonishly evil. Apologizing for her?!? They should have been discussing whether to go to the hospital!
Also I realize it's kind of apples to oranges but to me a woman in traditional African dress with or without the head scarf/wrap is like seeing a Scottish man wearing a full Highland kilted suit just a wonderful sight to behold and a wonderful way for people of other cultures to learn about other traditional clothing from other countries. That being said she did nothing wrong they said dress to impress which she did so they can't have it both ways. As an American I know not to dress in a way to "outshine" the bride but tbh if it was me I'd probably be fan girling wanting to know EVERYTHING about her cultures clothing.
You don't want to dress like, way more formal if there's a dress code, or something like that, but something about trying not to outshine the bride feels so condescending to me as a concept. Like yeah sorry, I won't accidentally look too pretty because I know that's not a risk for her. Idk. Not blaming you in any way, it's just such a weird concept. Like, I wouldn't want guests at my wedding trying to look worse at my wedding so I didn't feel threatened.
I feel this is a situation in which everyone was wrong. As an Afro-Caribbean woman, the first thing I am going to do is search online what weddings there are like. I am not wearing anything extravagant. The mother was wrong for telling her that, the colleagues were wrong, but I don't find her right either.
@@YurinanAcquiline I see your point, but I think what she wore was objectively not wrong in the situation. The formal dress of one culture is ALWAYS appropriate to an event of similar formality in a different culture, and to treat it otherwise is just xenophobia. If she's a little overdressed, that shouldn't be a big deal. If they're mad she's pretty, no shit. You can't be mad at a WOC for being prettier than you.
@@YurinanAcquiline I see your point, but I don't agree. I think the formal dress of any culture is appropriate to any other, if they're not xenophobes. Maybe she was a little overdressed, but that in itself should be a very minor faux pas. And you just can't be mad at WOC for being prettier than you.
The first one really proves that one of our core problems as a species is lack of empathy. It may not have always been this way, but something about the way we've developed has made it really obvious that most people simply *do not* consider the lives of others. There's no possible way you can consciously understand what a pregnancy is and have the kind of attitude that guy had. Either that's a great rage bait fake-out, or just another sign that we are *done* within the next hundred or so years.
Thank you. You're the first person aside from myself that I've heard say you don't just cheat on your spouse, but your whole family. It's hard to get that acknowledgement and it feels good even as an adult.
My dad said he was only hurting my mom and his kids with his infidelity (as if that wasn’t bad enough for him to stop). When they divorced, he broke up the grandparents from being able to mingle, mutual friends, aunts and uncles who became close friends on both sides. It destroys an ecosystem, essentially. It’s incredibly selfish.
The undertone right from the start was "You Africans probably wear gray drapes to weddings because you're so poor and uncivilised. Dress to impress and you might be on par with the other guests". I'm always shocked by how people experiencing racism don't just spontaneously combust from rage, just reading it is so infuriating.
Ya’ll are reading a lot into it. She said she was ‘African’, and they were ‘white’. She’s from a continent, they’re a skin color. They didn’t make it racial, she did. Why not a European wedding? A German wedding? Nope, a white wedding. Then says something is racially coded, which is a subjective opinion. No self awareness at all on her part, it’s just those evil racist whites.
"We have manners here." I heard this kind of thing in the UK all the time and I'm white with an English dad. I had a "culture issue." I'm from NYC. I cannot even imagine the things that are said to POC immigrants there and in Europe, though my flatmates, all WOC, told me some. You can't talk to my French family about anything. My uncle wants to ban all head scarves in pubic and had never even heard of people with kinky hair covering it or the concept of a protective style. I'm sure people are that racist every day in the US, but they are not comfortable copping to it, my god. You know the racism is bold when The whitest person alive (visually) is catching strays.
the real problem is that the mother of the bride invited her, not the bride herself. It is not the place of the brides mother to invite people to her daugthers wedding. the bride was angry because from her perspective the african woman was an univited guest, she probably told her mother off and she took her anger out on the african lady who did not know that in europe a brides mother has no right to invite people to her childs wedding...
10:16 if she's Nigerian then i perfectly understand, Nigerian weddings are very very over the top with traditional clothing so i understand her confusion
I do think that there was some genuine cultural clash/misunderstanding here, but she wasn't the red flag. And the Mother of the Bride WAAAY overreacted, and she's the one who needs to apologize. (Though for the sake of healing the relationship, it might be good for OP to go in with some photos and explain kindly what her experience of weddings is like, and how what she was told led her to think that the what she wore was in line with what was expected. People don't even realize the cultural expectations they subconsciously hold. And that she wasn't trying to 'outshine the bride.' And then we could hope that they reconcile. But of course it's the German co-worker who needs to be apologizing here. ).
Honestly, I’m white and because of my autism/adhd would have also interpreted “dress to impress” as “wear my best outfit”. I also would have just assumed I shouldn’t wear white. Everyone could stand give more instructions to guests if they’re not literally in the wedding party, regardless of where they’re from 😭
@@bumblebeerror9019EXACTLY, I also just love getting dressed up for anything and everything, so I definitely would have gone overboard with "dress to Impress"
omfg. as a woman, the line ' It caused her to gain a bit of weight and become moody, so i figured some exercise would be good for her and for me' pisses me off so much. First.. Thats a CHILD in there second, that weight is needed to supplement that child. third, wtf is wrong with them?
Next time someone asks you about the dress code, be specific! Don't tell me to 'dress to impress' than tell me I outshone the bride! There is no such thing as outshining a bride. Personally, I'd be THRILLED if someone chose to wear traditional garb, no matter the tradition, to my wedding.
@@denofpigs2575 In her defense, wanting to be the center of attention at your own wedding is reasonable. What isn't reasonable is being vague about the dress code and then being upset that someone wore an outfit you thought looked better than yours.
@@LostGirl04 Wanting to be the center of attention to the point of racist remarks against someone else might be a normal thing for most people but it's a pretty alien concept to me so idk Additionally, I said needing to be the center of attention. You said wanting. Completely different contexts. If you're going to defend, at least word your defense properly.
@@denofpigs2575 I wasn't looking at it any deeper than what I'd said; I'm pretty sure I even said in my original reply that it was taken way too far, but if I didn't, I am now. Being the center of attention at your own wedding is a reasonable thing to want (or even feel like you need), but again, in this case, it went WAY too far. And obviously I don't condone blatant racism. There's never an excuse for that.
They told her,wear something pretty, it's okay whatever u wonna to wear. ..she comes up with a traditional dress,and she looks stunning, but what u won't!?? Should she wear a Burka??? It is not her fault that the bride is feeling like she is ugly,it's not her fault that the bride sees everyone as a concurrent! She has nothing wrong!
Oh I guarantee they did. But that would make him look bad. So he came here for validation on his behavior so he just left that out cuz that was inconvenient for his narrative.
Seeing as his friends slowed down first before he did, I think the friends would probably think he is the uncaring jerk embarrassing himself by blaming his wife.
As someone who is 8.5 months pregnant, no even at 4 months i couldn’t do that first one. The baby pushes your diaphragm and lungs about, presses on arteries and all sorts. Gentle exercise is recommended as it cannot harm you or baby in the way more intense stuff such as a steep hike can
2:17 pregnancy literally makes you sick, my sister-in-law could hardly eat any foods because they’d all make her vomit. She’s gaining weight because the baby is developing. Whole it’s good to be a bit active (so she doesn’t develop clots) but she literally should not be working out much because it is bad for her. She’s doing everything that she should be. YTA, YTRF
I genuinely stop and ask myself how these dudes have wives. Especially when they have the gull to go to the internet and go, "Hey... I'm not the problem, right...?"
@@cctomcat321well, they have wives because they don't show their true colors before getting married, usually. The Internet post bit is generally just wanting their ego bloated and validated
And he will blame her for reacting in the "wrong" way every time he commits another transgression against her, for the rest of the relationship. He can never be wrong. And if she points out why she is upset, he will just double down and become even more abusive. Even if she was tolerating This type of neglect and abuse toward her before, she's going to have a new baby to take care of, and he's not only NOT going to be much help if any, he is going to be very resentful of the attention she gives to the baby. It's only going to escalate. I hope she gets out soon and that he is not given much parenting time unless it is supervised. He is too immature and selfish to take care of a baby without somebody else there to keep an eye on him. Unfortunately, that might be a reason she has to stay until the baby is in a full day of school. Or at least until the child is old enough to know how to dial 911. And I hope she knows about this social media post and saves copies of it to show to the judge and friend of the court in the divorce court, as evidence for why he shouldn't have any kind of parenting time other than supervised parenting time
What that pregnant woman’s husband did was vile!! Stop expecting women to not gain weight while CARRYING YOUR CHILD. F**k alllll the way off with that bs. 😒 I’m grateful my partner didn’t treat me that way while I was pregnant.
That first story 😳. I went on a hike with my nephew and his wife when she was about 6 months pregnant herself- it was less than two miles total and my nephew kept his wife’s pace, putting his hand on her back, holding her hand, checking in with her. I was proud of him then and now even more so!
8:15 I am from Europe, not Germany, but close, The Netherlands. I have never heard this "of outshining the bride". It is best not to wear the same color as the bride is wearing, but looking at the whole day, it is a big, huge party. After the ceremony there is most of the times, dancing and fun, so a big party, so it is a good place to be wearing your best! I would be honored to have a traditional dressed African lady on my wedding! It sounds like it is just an other reason to be disrespectful to this lady! And I also think it is just a misunderstanding of cultures. So why are these people this harsh on this lady? It's oke to be yourselve, it is a good moment to show your own culture...I think the red flag should be planted at this colleague's desk. Especially as she is not talking to her, but she is talking to everybody else about her??
In America they consider it really rude, you must dress your best but modest. No skin showing on the upper thighs, chest, or belly. Back showing is elegant though, but some might still fuss about that. And the clothes shouldn't be super tight like club wear it should be elegant but it can be your own style as long as it's still "modest". Then you have a few young people, probably about 30% of weddings here, they will want the brides maids to look sexy in a tight sparkly dress with elaborate hair decorations. It really depends on the person in some places. Some people have a specific image in their head, so it's best for them to put expectations on the invitation, sometimes they will even put a color preference for outfits if its a color themed wedding. Like "all peach" or "all pink" where men wear pink ties and pink socks for example. Personally if I had the money and could pick anything I want a fairy nature themed wedding but I will not have the money for that 😅 I would love pink green and brown to be the theme colors for guests, thats a pretty wide rage of clothing and they can wear what they like and it would still all match. Stuff like that sounds fun to me personally! I'd be the one to wear elaborate fairy wings on my wedding day if I could! I'd probably only be able to get them for me but if I could it would be fun if everyone wore them. I don't care if its silly its cute 😭💖 I'm 27 and I would love a nature/fairy theme wedding
I have 4 kids. I teach dance and continued to teach through most of my last pregnancy. I would NOT have been able to do a 6 mile hike on flat ground, let alone with hills! I am so worried about that man trying to take care of a baby.... She's making a human. That makes you tired.
Ok, I can speak on the first story because I've been pregnant with and birthed 5 children personally. I have hiked mild trails for 2-3 miles and with resting points no problem while pregnant. I enjoy family hikes even when I'm the size of a whale (unless my pelvic joints are popping like crazy, like they do in late pregnancy for me). Thing is, everyone goes at my pace, which is leisurely with maybe a touch of hustle, we take breaks when I need them, and if I say I can't do it anymore, then we're done and turning back. Often times, yes I am a bit of a couch potato because this belly and everything that goes with it is heavy and puts pressure on joints and depletes you like nothing else can (except maybe breastfeeding). Everyone in my life is understanding of this. If dude has a reasonable mom, maybe ask her to enlighten him since he was so eager to humiliate and shame her in front of friends, uno reverse with his mother.
Exactly, if you're regularly and recently doing whichever forms of exercise you're happy with and your pregnancy isn't high risk, you should be ok to continue, but always check with your medical professional first. But don't take up anything new and strenuous at that time, build up slowly.
But HE didn't want that. He wanted her to keep HIS pace from A to B, without stopping. In addition, pregnancy varies from person to person. You sound like you've been lucky, while she may be having a harder time. And with a man who forces/manipulates her to go on a hike, she is not fit for and in his tenpo, I hope she divorces him, because it will only be from here on out.
@@purplepixie274 for sure, every pregnancy is different, even for the same person. I was very active and energetic with number 4, couldn't gain hardly any weight and fainted with number 2, serious couch potato with number 5. Exercise is great, but you want to take it easy for sure.
@@irisravenhild9060 for the most part yes, my pregnancies have been fairly easy, except number 2, she was hard on my body 😂 still pretty easy compared to high risk folks though. Dude here was a douche, I really hope the women in his life straightened out his perception real quick. I didn't like jumping to divorce, maybe it's because hubby and I have toughed it out with one another for 14 years so I know that under normal circumstances it can be done. This sounds like it's their first and that he has absolutely 0 idea about pregnancy etc, it's easy for men to disassociate from it because they didn't directly experience it, even being a witness isn't enough. If they're exposed to it beforehand or with subsequent pregnancies they can gain empathy. His misunderstanding of her pregnancy isn't the only problem here clearly, the blatant disrespect is another issue and hopefully a discussion can fix that. I'd say if it continues though...
I've had too much experience with crappy men, well, my father anyway, to know how stupid and toxic they can be about medical conditions. My father called me "fat" (I wasn't even THAT fat) because I had a lil belly fat and expected me to lose weight even after my neurologist said the medications I'm taking for seizures MAKES ME RETAIN SOME WEIGHT. When my two dermatologists BOTH said my severe acne as a teenager was untreatable, my father kept nagging me to try Proactive until I did it to shut him up. Surprise, it didn't work. He was just that obsessed with his daughter not looking like the perfect doll child.
“She has let yourself go” boy she has your child. Six months pregnant and she has gained weight, wow what a shock. Like, oh she’s pale and violently throwing up, must be because she’s been resting from carrying YOUR child lately. Hope his wife gets better and realizes how much better she can do
1:55 my guy...no this guy doesn't understand what happens during pregnancy the baby leaches all your energy her sugar probably dropped and the over exertion made her sick i agree that he could have costed her and the babies life tbh it sounds like you want that the way you act
The way he said "I ate the same food as her, so it couldn't have been that..." Like, he's the only one who didn't realize the reason she was the only one who threw up is because she's the only one who was PREGNANT.
Sadly that kinda stuff is common in Germany.. Of course not everyone here is like that, but especially older generations are. As an example: There is a woman I talk to occasionally (because our dogs get along well) and a couple of weeks ago she was pointing to a building on the other street and said: "The apartment down there in that building.. some dark-skinned people moved in there." And then she pauses, as if she expected a reaction and I just stared her down blankly for several seconds, until she went: "Not that I have anything against dark-skinned people.. but they were drying their clothes on the bushes!" She then ranted a bit about how you can't do that and she wondered who else would move into the neighbourhood. I wish I had more courage to speak my mind.. I would've asked her what the colour of their skin had to do with their actions.. there are enough pasty white German natives that do stupid stuff and are a nuisance (not that I think drying some clothes on bushes is a nuisance.. maybe they didn't have a drying rack yet. Who cares?). The amount of times people mention skin colour/ethnicity to tell something that has nothing to do with it. Like: "The Asian people that live up there always listen to loud music." I always want to start saying stuff like "My white neighbour." or "The German people that live there." just to point out those people's casual racism. But I don't usually tell any stories.. just listen and react. Okay, I went on a tangent here.. I'm not trying to talk badly about Germans and especially younger generations are fairly open-minded. Of course, just like in every country, there are conservatives and closed-minded people in every generation.. but sadly casual racism is still ingrained in a lot of people and the mindset that everything has to be quiet and orderly. That said, if I were the bride in that scenario, I'd love to have the OP at my wedding. I love different cultures and I'd probably talk to her about hers and what weddings look like where she is from.
@@borealernadelwald Oh god that sounds like my Grandma (from New York). She's like on a line between ignorant and racist. She doesn't hate anyone (I think?), but she believes stereotypes like they're gospel. She told me about her doctor, saying she was "an Oriental girl". She believes Asians are genetically better at math/science but worse at empathy. She asked a guy named Jesus "Where are you from?" out of nowhere just because of his name. We finally got her to say "Asian" instead of "Oriental", but then we took her out to eat at Olive Garden and she looked around and said "There are so many Asian people here!" I was so embarrassed. But like, idk what's up with her. My dad was shocked at her statements, saying she didn't say things like that when he was younger. He claims she even cautioned him against racism or saying things about people based on the way they look. She's from NYC, not some tiny town with 99% white people. She saw and knew plenty of people of different ethnicities. But she's been a bit of a hermit for the past 15 years, so maybe that's it.
1:09 I would need all the strengh in the world to not attack him and I'm saying this as a stranger. There is no way that his friends agreed to watch her suffer and risk her baby's life. Horrible people. I hate everything about this man.
The second story, the daughter ended up visiting and staying for a week, at the end OP told her he had no interest in being a grandad and it was too late to rekindle their relationship. And then he left the country. Neither has reached out since.
@ from what I remember I think her mom had urged her to and she finally decided to let go of the past because she wanted her kid to have a grandfather.
At 6 months pregnant her lungs are probably getting pretty squished, and it can be really hard to breathe deeply. The inside of her body has to make room where there wasn't any, and so there's less room for lung expansion. Additionally, her body is using more oxygen to grow and sustain a second person and at baseline she would be breathing faster than when not pregnant, all which leads to being prone to shortness of breath. When pregnant it becomes much harder to perform physical tasks because you struggle to take in enough oxygen to support those activities. The overall effect can vary between people, but when I was 7/8 months pregnant walking my dog around the block could wind me. It has nothing to do with 'letting yourself go' or being lazy.
When i was pregnant, My hubby would go to the store in the middle of the night, to get me a cherry pepsi and a bag of funyuns. Or a vanilla coke and a bag of hot potato chips or pork skins. Whatever i wanted, he was all for. Never said a word about me gaining weight! I would cry about it and he would say "there's just more of you to love".
For that last story, if anyone had actually COMMUNICATED to OP then OP could've left and either gotten an outfit that matched the wedding more or just left the wedding entirely It was not up to OP to magically know what was wrong and clearly OP wasn't against dressing in a certain way to suit the wedding style, the coworker just chose to gossip behind OP's back instead
The first story: I was sick for 10 months….. I barely ate because of it….still threw up….. around the clock… started at 160 and delivered at 90lbs ….. he is lucky to be in his wife’s presence….. she tolerates a lot……. Some men are insufferable…… LOVE YOUR VIDEOS DUSTIN!
As a white german woman: Bride in story 4 should've specified the dress code or live up to "dress to impress" as well. But I gotta say in germany normally the guests on weddings really favour elegance over extravagance, so I think probably the african lady really stood out a lot which made the bride uncomfortable for sure. Yet the bad treatment is definetly undeserved!
Then maybe she shouldve said that instead of saying "dress to impress" to a person of a different race. Every race has different ways to dress especially in weddings and not specifying what to wear and then getting mad and talking shit instead of talking to the person about it makes her look like a rtard and racist for her petty comment.
Yeah, the problem here is that they assumed that she could read their minds and had no interest in showing any understanding for her viewpoint. They sound very self-absorbed.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with standing out. The bride being "uncomfortable" with that is her own personal problem. Selbst Schuld, kein Mitleid.
The dress was stunning and I would have loved to take pictures with her! It is also reasonable for someone not familiar with the people or the culture to keep to themselves.
I’d have been proud to have a friend there who could shine some light on another country’s customs and dress. I would’ve been very specific if there was a theme in mind, knowing that my friend “isn’t from around here.”
The first story- buddys friends slowed down to accomodate pregnant wife before he did. His friends are less toxic to the actual mother of his child. Hope he enjoys paying child support
"It's a wedding. Everyone dresses nice." My mom remarried earlier this year, it was very small and only close family. My stepdad insisted everyone can just dress casually, as he was going to get married in shorts. Now, he did it very neatly, it didn't look sloppy or anything, he still looked smart. My new stepuncle took him waayy too seriously and arrived at the venue... in sweatpants and flipflops.
Nothing wrong with that, and is still dressing nice IMO, but if the dress code is "dress to impress," then it's reasonable to assume that's nice for a dressy wedding. I'd have dressed up too. Be more clear.
Pregnant wife needs to leave that guy. Theres no point. Shell be better off alone with her baby. Unfortunately her guy turned out to be an idiot. The guy put her and her baby at very high risk. He’s the type of guy who’ll expect her to make fancy dinners and entertain him etc two days after giving birth and wont understand why she needs recovery and rest! Grief.
the first one… when we’re pregnant, we throw up if you look at us funny. it’s literally involuntary and there’s nothing worse than trying to convince yourself not to puke. your mouth is watering, nose is running, stomach is killing you, knowing it’s inevitable. horrible.
2:48 😂😂😂 exactly this guy doesn’t listen to anything she says. I know best blah blah blah. He probably thinks any down time when his wife isn’t working makes her a couch potato. She needs to drop him before he does this bs with their kid.
Oof that first one 🫣 I went from running 18 miles one weekend to not being able to complete 5 miles a couple of weeks later. I also ended up in the hospital because I was sweating and shaking in pain. Pregnancy can be completely wild.
What I appreciate about the second story is he didn’t just stick the story up and then argue with the verdict, he actually did something about it. I can appreciate accountability after living with people who do not know how to take it.
@@GiordanDiodato I think that’s a bit pessimistic. Whilst I agree, it is strange, there are many reasons for taking so long to reconnect, especially with family and I don’t think it does anyone any good to automatically assume that trying to reconnect is a bad thing. It just feeds into the bias that reconnecting is inherently negative and will have a bad outcome. Being sceptical is fair, but we know so little it’s hard to pass a judgement.
I appreciate your take. It's hard not to judge people forever based on one thing, since it can be how we keep ourselves safe from abusers or violent people. But I think accountability and change should be valued more than it is. We should always be striving to be better people than we were. To me, what matters is not so much what happened in the past, but how someone took responsibility for it, and whether the person they are now would do the same thing.
I personally thank him not wanting to reconnect with his daughter at first wasn't so much a bad thing considering he hadn't seen her in 17 years which is a long time and I feel like it's only natural to lose feelings like that after such a long time especially when you know the person you had those feelings for hate your guts. With that being said I feel like he could have handled it differently. But I don't think using the complete wrong. Like yeah he shouldn't have had an affair. But also I feel like the mother is mostly to blaming my opinion. Like if her mother wouldn't have made her hate her father the way she did and then this could have been avoided. Of course this is coming from my personal experience. My mother had cheated on my dad several times when they were married. And then whenever they do forced she accused him of abuse which was not true in order to get custody of me. Then she spent the majority of my life cuz they divorced when I was five trying to get me to hate him and telling me lies and also would not let me go over there to see him because of her hatred towards him for how their marriage ended even though it was her fault. Granted I didn't find out about the fact that she had affairs until I was almost fully grown. And because of how she raised me it gave me daddy issues without me needing to have issues with my father when he was an amazing parent. And my father was devastated when I got taken away from him. And after a certain amount of time he too had a stop biting for me cuz there was literally nothing he could do and the more he tried to see me the more lie she's told about him and it completely ruined his reputation and almost ruined his life completely because of it. So for my personal experience It doesn't matter how your relationship with your spouse ends If they are not a abusive awful parent then you should not not push your hate for them onto your child like that doesn't benefit your child at all. Why would you want to deprive your child of their parent just because you ended things with them on a bad term. Which is my biggest issue with the story. Like once I moved out of my mother's house it took me a long time to forgive her for making me hate my father. And even now my relationship with my dad will never be the same because of her. Like I struggle to feel anything for him because I never got the chance to love him growing up and I think that messed me up more than anything because I want to love him he deserves my love but because of my mother I just can't love him the way I used to and to me no parent should ever do that to their child. So I kind of blame her mother in this situation granted he shouldn't have cheated but you have to think about what is best for your child you have a child. With all that being said I do think the dad could have been a little nicer about telling her that he didn't want to reconnect with her maybe explained it more
1:04 when my ex wife was pregnant with out daughter, she did hikes through the first two trimesters. Third trimester though, it was time for zen-like trances.
First story- someone needs to educate him that as the baby grows, ALL the mother’s internal organs are SQUISHED and are PUSHED OUT OF PLACE. Her center of gravity has changed. She can’t SEE her feet, which makes walking, much less hiking, a more dangerous activity. Mothers cannot gain weight only in their stomachs- it goes all over the body, and extra fat is needed to maintain the mother and the baby. She also has to increase her blood volume. She’s also growing a placenta that is the same size as the baby. I could go on 🤦♀️
The placenta is about the size of a dinner plate at full term. The baby is much bigger. I saw mine a few times. It usually weighs about 1lb which is 1/6 of what a small baby weighs.
I can't imagine how anyone could be so ignorant and obtuse about pregnancy! This guy deserves a red flag shoved into his you know what, and be forced to go with this flag all those 8 miles his wife had to endure. I'm sorry, I just can't 🤦♀️
1:44 She is almost ready to deliver in three months!!! Are you freaking kidding me you need to exercise while pregnant but not to much no more then 30 mins for a walk, and your soooooooo exhausted and need a lot of sleep while pregnant as well she should have been drink a lot of water and I am currently pregnant and my husband and I went on a walk not a hike and I got really wiped out and was sweating a lot and my pelvic hurt a bit after and I’m in my second trimester what the F you need to read a book
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
If you’re ever injured in an accident, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. You can start your claim in just a click without having to leave your couch. To start your claim, visit: www.forthepeople.com/dustin
Love how you gave your sponsor a red flag 😂 I'm guessing you didn't realise how that may look.
I would like to also hear a couple of comments from Redditors who respond to your stories
I’m disappointed you have these guys as a sponsor. They are their own type of red flag. I got in a small fender bender that was technically my fault. Everyone walked and drove away in their cars. The male passenger of the other car even laid on the ground to inspect the underside of his car. Months later he started suing me through my insurance via Morgan and Morgan. He claimed something like $300,000 in lost wages, surgery, etc for supposedly having to have a back surgery due to the accident. Long story short, my insurance settled with M&M for my max personal injury and then promptly dropped me from the insurance. It is the only car accident I’ve been in, in my entire life. The guy certainly didn’t show any major pain or whatnot. I see M&M as just “ambulance chaser” types who really push. I do not believe that guy needed back surgery from this small fender bender but my insurance company also didn’t want to fight it.
Morgan & Morgan...FOR THE PEOPLE!
😂😂😂 i grew up listening to that everyday. John Morgan is a nice guy and good lawyer.
@@carrieb7313so...many feel injuries from accidents DAYS later...not right away...when adrenaline is high and so is stress from the situation altogether. John Morgan isnt actually shady...and wont even bother with cases that he knows wont win, so...have to assume youre exaggerating somewhere in there, like...probably worse than you claim.
Also, yes.. even small fender benders can cause bodily damage, especially to backs. My own family still suffers from back problems from an accident 30 yrs old...doing 15 mph...on a soft dirt road.
And i literally had family who worked for him who made it very clear he doesnt just take any case, but cases he knows stands a good chance. Thats WHY his record is so good.
Being pregnant caused her to gain weight?!?! Unheard of.
As we all know, babies inside you, eating and shitting, make you much lighter - that's how woman's body work 😇
😂😂
Right? I can't imagine why that would happen. 🤔🤷
I guess she's supposed to be exercising for two now?? 😂
And to be out of breathe and throw up, i could never have guessed😂
I feel so bad for her though, sometimes i wish men couls get pregnant so they have a little respect
"my wife is 6 months pregnant, she's been a couch potato recently" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF?
maybe he thinks babies come from storks and being pregnant is just waiting for your baby to come lol
Idiot and a grade A asshole is exactly what she said, and was exactly spot on lol.
Right!? Like be so fucking for real writing this and posting it like he felt justified. Wow
That dude needs to get divorced and pay through the nose forever on the childsupport. Because he would only fck up that child and has already done his darndest to do that to his wife also
"she gained weight and became moody" my guy. She's PREGNANT. They're like, stereotypical signs of pregnancy!
@@kmariep2425 Exactly that’s such a normal thing to happen during pregnancy
Story #1 makes me wish I could divorce someone else’s husband
🙌
🎯 Great comment 🤣
She should head for the hills!
Omg same!!
Yes. Omg yes.
“My wife is six months pregnant, and she’s gained some weight for some reason recently” I’m surprised this man even knew how to get her pregnant, because he doesn’t seem to know what pregnancy even is
👍🏻
First story .... wow. God help her.... thankfully children are said to get intelligence from the mother.... total most clueless male ever... 😂
If I had a "friend" who apologized to me for their wife's behaviour for getting sick on a hike, I'd probably loose my shit.... If said wife was pregnant, I'd probably consider taking the husband on another hike deep in the mountains...... to talk.....
I hear the section of Yellowstone National Park specifically in Idaho is an ideal place for talks like that.
Beautiful scenery, the perfect setting overall. It'd be a crime not to go there. 😉
You are my favorite kind of man. Nothing beats a strong critical mind with the heart and metal to back it up. 👏🏻
@@kristinekochanski4136yosemite as well.
When are you going and do I need to bring a shovel? 😂
@@bonkers1917 I also thought Yosemite. But when I went to double check before posting I saw it said Yellowstone on several sites. This is just one of them. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_of_Death_(Yellowstone)
"She let herself go"
"She embarrassed me in front of my friends"
"My friends slowed down for her so I had to slow down too"
"She's at least partially to blame"
I hope she reads this post and divorces him
I hope she severes parental rights, too. Imagine what kind of dad he’s going to be.
He has absolutely zero regard for her or their impending kid. All he's worried about is how her looks and behavior reflect on him. He is the Main Character; he's the Center of the Known Universe. His wife and gestating child are simply accessories in his Tough-Guy Wardrobe. If his wife wants a life in which she's valued as a genuine human, she needs to sprint to the nearest divorce attorney.
I was going to comment: SHE'S 6 MONTHS PREGNANT ASSHAT...
If she doesn't divorce him, I hope the comments roast him so bad he changes. Probably won't change but I hope he does for her sake. Or she leaves him and he is never left unattended with their kid
@@Casey21.no, he is not redeemable at this point. His behavior may change but it won’t last long. She needs to GTFO before the baby is born. Can you imagine what a POS of a father he will be??
Went on reddit and found out that the first guy deleted his account, he was SO far up his ass that when people werent siding with him, he couldnt handle it. I hope his post reaches his wife.
Do you know what the comments were like? I'm really curious
Do we know if she is ok? I mean, divorced? I mean both?
@@lieslmichelle4136if she really talked to him the way the guy described her to do so then i believe she has the sense to not allow him to further distress her and the baby out. I do hope she left him but thats hardly likely considering shes just having his baby
@@minisnakali They were all telling him he was an asshole, and that she should lose HIS weight (as divorcing him), basically they were giving him the biggest reality check ever. And when I mean NO ONE was siding with him, I really mean NO ONE
@@lieslmichelle4136 No not really, Im hoping that we get an update on her. I really wish her the best
My first pregnancy (when I didn't know any better) I went on a short hike with some friends. Pre-pregnancy I used to run this trail. I remember during this particular hike I got light-headed and had to stop several times. My friends were so gracious and waited on me to catch my breath. At one point I felt dizzy and had to sit down. I'm now pregnant with my third and let me tell you...pregnancy changes everything in your body! It is no small matter.
When I was 23 weeks preggo, I asked my husband to go to a small hike with me, he said absolutely not and forbid me to go, we did a 1 mile flat walk at the beach instead and I felt like my intestine was coming down from below. It hurts soooo badly and my husband was like “hiking huh” and asked if I need to Uber back lol. I don’t think the guy in the first story understands how painful it is to carry a watermelon around and pull your skin and body down. I’m so grateful my husband understands it and he’s the type that work out at 5:30 am everyday.
Your husband sounds lovely, we need more men like him. That first guy should take notes
Not only that but your body starts secreting a hormone that loosens all your joints so your muscles work differently so everything that you used to be able to do feels more strenuous. You can literally collapse, for example when I was four or five months pregnant I walked a quarter mile down the store, when I normally wore walked 5 to 10 mi without issue And I had to call to be picked up because I literally could not even stand. My hip gave out of the joint and even with it back in the muscle would not bear weight. But also your blood increases by 1.5, so that increased circulations also a strain on your body when it comes to exercise. That is aside from when your uterus starts to get heavy!!
"Hiking, huh?" I laughed so hard because I could hear it in my head
im really happy for you that you have someone so kind and understanding! i hope i will meet someone like that aswell 😭
I...I don't ever want to be pregnant 😥
No one is pointing out the fact the black woman was invited by the mother not the bride. I hold the mother 1000000% accountable for that entire situation. Theres a possibility the bride didnt even know till the woman showed up
It feels very targeted, like the mother was trying to prove or say something.
Mothers go insane around weddings for some reason. For me, it was my own grandma. She barely talks to me and is very disappointed that Im not what she envisioned for me. Yet as soon as I let people know I was getting married, well, it basically became her party. So much so I gave up. Let my Grandpa pay for the church ceremony and the party for her and her friends and then my husband and I payed for a separate one. My actual wedding was a gorgeous, laid back beach party with my friends.
AND OP asked all the right questions before she even came! The mom said "dress to impress"! What did that horrid mom expect?!! Shame on every last one of those horrible racist people! I feel awful for OP. She must've felt like the butt of a bad joke
We normal germans do not claim those people they were so rude towards her she did nothing wrong I would love to have her at my wedding those are just jealous people we don’t act like this super inappropriate
@@sparkle_dream Genau.
The fact that your friends had to slow down to accommodate her before you did speaks volumes.
My husband and I used to love going on hikes all the time! I have PoTS, so he's always been very careful about what hikes we choose. As soon as we found out that I'm pregnant, he encouraged me to take walks around the neighborhood (exercise is great during pregnancy... as long as you feel up to it), but he doesn't want me to go on any hikes because he's worried about my pregnancy and PoTS. He's the best :)
This is a perfect example of a great husband!! Congratulations to you both on your new baby!!❤
"I apologized for my wife's behavior."
This reminds me of the time my grandfather died and my mother broke down. We were at the neighbor's house in a 'pool party' kinda.
My step father apologized to our neighbor for my mother's crying.
I'll never forgive him for that. There’s no having empathy and then there's things like these.
What an absolutely awful thing to do.
My abusive ex did these kind of things to me many times.
I am epileptic with severe PTSD (PTSD that he made 10x worse)
and have a lot of other medical issues and disabilities. One day we were at the mall and I experienced sensory overload load and low blood sugar and almost fainted. He got angry and told me I was “causing a scene” and embarrassing him. It was one of the only times ever, but I snapped at him “I can’t fucking help that I’m unwell right now”. (I want to add that I was in no way causing a “scene”. I wasn’t making any noises, I wasn’t shouting or loudly talking. I was whispering and sat down at a table and just covered my ears. I’m very insecure in public so I know for a fact I wasn’t being distracting)
Some people just lack empathy and aren’t necessarily bad people, but this kind of behavior? Yeah that makes you a bad person.
Your mom deserves better.
Ugh yeah he says his wife is "embarrassing" him. No dude, you're the one embarrassing her.
@Susgoose33 oh for sure. We just don't have the means to leave yet, but it's coming.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just monstrous without even they realizing it.
This is an absolute genuine question.
What ARE you supposed to do in that situation? Just leave and say nothing?
Phrase an apology appropriately for making other guests uncomfortable without laying blame at other people?
Such a thing is so far away from any possible frame of reference I could have that I just legitimately have no idea how one would handle something like that.
@@denofpigs2575 If I was the husband (step-dad of OP), I'd offer her a way to have a moment alone. People crying usually don't want to be in the middle of a big group of people. So maybe give her a hug, excuse ourselves, and bring her to another room if possible, a more secluded area. Then ask what she'd like to do (go home or stay at the party longer). If anyone asked about her crying, I'd say something like "She had a loss in the family recently, she needs a moment".
I’m currently pregnant. The Red Flag in the first post needs to take a birthing class that focuses on the physiological aspects of pregnancy _and_ birth. Being pregnant is not for the weak.
Same. I'm huffing chasing after my other kid while pregnant, and I don't consider that strenuous normally.
@@samanthac.349 as if he’d care enough to take a birthing class.
It might also help him to realize that morning sickness is a real thing.
Nah, that dude barely acknowledged the fact his wife was pregnant. Why would he make any effort? He clearly doesn't have any respect for his wife. He can take the birthing class after he rewires his entire way of thinking.
Stay strong pregnancy sound HARD
1:24 LET HERSELF GO? YOU MEAN CARRYING A BABY?!?
That sucks that now she’s stuck with this person for the rest of her life because of this child.
@@IttyBittyFitnessI don’t think it’s the child’s fault :()
Wait till he finds out about the 6 week or more abstinence once the baby is born. And she won't be as cuddly after having the baby hanging on her all day
He sounds like a gym bro
My eyes are twitching!
Omfg… I hope she divorces him. She threw up because she had low blood sugar. In the army, we’d get nauseous at the end of physical training when our blood sugar was near depleted and I’m pretty sure that the body prioritizes the baby with respect to blood sugar, just as the baby will take calcium from Mom’s bones and iron from her blood.
I just realized she’s SIX MONTHS pregnant!!! The baby is pressing on her lungs, her bladder, and she’s likely dehydrated as well!! I just can’t…
What a POS.
As a hypoglycemic person, I wouldn’t last long with that guy as my husband.
"dress to impress"
*dresses to impress
"hOw DaRe YoU"
Came looking for this comment bc she literally did exactly as asked and still got shit on for it. What a terrible work environment
Yeah dress to impress is definitely not how you want to phrase the dresscode for a wedding invitation😅🙈 and nobody does that where I am (Switzerland).
If anything, the best man and maid of honor will write in the info mail that is usually sent out beforehand that people should come in suits and ball gowns if you want them to dress their best, and maybe also that you don't want certain colors like light cream or bright red (white should be a given but should still be mentioned because you can be sure that you have one person on your guest list who will not get it if not told up front😂). But not "dress to impress". That could go wrong in so many different ways.
Similarly, if you tell people nothing and say you don't care, you can be sure that there will be at least a couple of people who will come in their worst worn-out t-shirts with holes in them😂
Be specific if you want people to look a certain way. Otherwise, don't be offended if they don't.
She’s probably too beautiful for the people who were upset with her. That’s probably her “crime”.
@@Tastiest-of-Cakes There's a picture up with the dress, it really fit her.
I was unsure before seeing the picture who was at fault here because I didn't know if the dress was actually wildly inappropriate somehow, but it's really beautiful and doesn't look like a wedding dress. I think it's a little too flashy for a wedding with a "cocktail attire" or "dressy casual" but this was a "dress to impress theme." And she was looking impressive!
girl: **asks about dress code**
mom: **gets vague instructions**
girl: **follows vague instructions, with little knowledge about the wedding culture, but she's trying to learn**
mom: How dare you
No Fr tho
I bet she looked gorgeous! lol 😂
@@lyssgoddess there's a picture on her profile of the dress and it was amazing! Honestly, if someone wore that to my wedding I wouldn't mind??? Like, yeah, it's gorgeous but it's not like upstaging the bride to a large degree, it's a beautiful cultural dress that would look amazing at any event tbh
I mean you tell an African dress to impress, she is going to dress to impress 😅
@@mauramcgovern1871 ❤️oh I bet she was so pretty!! Im gonna have to go back and look how cute. What a cranky bride 😉😂
The first story is already killing me…. I don’t think this guy knows what being ‘pregnant’ means? 🫤😑🤨
What do you want to bet he’s one of those guys that thinks women can decide when to have their period?
He absolutely does not!!!!!! He's a complete freakin moron 😡
I know, right?
The baby is literally pushing her organs up towards her lungs and pressing on them - making it harder to breathe - while hormones are wrecking her mind and pregnancy physically tires her out.
But she's an asshole for "being a couch-potato" and getting sick during an activity that would put a strain on her body.
Pregnancy make ladies short of breath from just talking, or walking to the bathroom. No wonder she got sick and pale on a "steep hike".
Man needs a pregnancy book.
My dad did the same thing to my mom when she was pregnant with me. He was always bugging her to push herself physically, he didn’t believe pregnancy should slow her down. She was on a hike when she went into labor 3 months early. I was born at 2lbs 6oz and the doctor told my mom I only had a 10% chance of survival (this was in 1985)
The baby literally pushing her guts up to press on her lungs, along with the physical drain of being pregnant, and the hormones... I've seen ladies short of breath from talking and going to the bathroom.
Dude needs a pregnancy book.
1:30 😮 🤦 I just i mean...the unmitigated gall!! 😮 Im so genuinely taken aback at the audacity already.
HONESTLY
I would have personally felt honored if someone wore their traditional cultural attire to my wedding. I see it as a sign of respect and how important they view the event.
I totally agree with you. I would feel honored that the woman felt comfortable enough to share their heritage with me. I’m the bride. Nothing anyone wears will outshine my moments.
I once went to an Indian wedding with my aunt and uncle. We were the only non-Indians there and they had us wear their traditional clothes so we could share in their culture. They even insisted on us keeping the clothes as a memory of the event. I still have the outfit almost 25 years later. It was beautiful and a really cool experience, especially for a kid who was raised in the middle of farm country. I don't understand hating people that want to share their culture with others.
Ditto! This whole wedding party, except the OP, are AHs
The woman posted the photo that inspired the dress she wore to her profile on Reddit. It's dark green with gold spots, nothing particularly "cultural" about it. The mother of the bride was just being r4c1st.
I a german am offended for the poor woman she didn’t deserve to be treated like that from everyone
Well, I'm African Arab.
And calling our weddings a fashion show is the understatement of the century. It's considered bad manners if you come dressed in anything less.
I'm French and attended a wedding in Algeria. I wore a dress with beading in jewel tones that would probably be too much for a French wedding, and I felt underdressed. Everyone looked gorgeous!
This is really so cool! I know I was really curious what the OP of the story was wearing to the wedding since every wedding I've been were the typical wedding you'd see on TV, formal event attire.
Yeah, but it wasn't an African wedding. It was German one.
Africans really know how to dress for the occasion. The color and the style is UNPARALLELED. I would have LOVED if someone dressed like that at my wedding. It wasn’t white so who cares?! It’s not her fault she’s hotter than the bride 😂
@@abcdmefgh2843Yeah but OP asked before hand. "Dress to impress" has different connotations for different people from different cultures. The family should have been more clear.
1:32 this guy really isnt educated on what happens to a womans body... you retain water, lose half of your breathing capacity, etc...
Dude ended up suspended on reddit
@@Celestiana06GOOD what a dickhead he was! Like NO SHIT she's winded and tired she has a HUMAN GROWING Inside her!
terrifying tp imagine being his woman
@@audhumbla6927 if i ever had a man like that, i wouldnt only loose my shit, all hell would break loose bc aint no fcking way i would let that slide. Probably send him back to 6th grade too
@@Celestiana06thank god tbh
First story: dude, your wife is not letting herself go, she's growing a baby. It takes herculean effort to carry on with the day to day, forget hiking excursions. If you have energy to burn, I have some suggestions. Clean the house, prepare her favorite meals, give her a foot massage, and maybe do the grocery shopping. Red flags for you, but you get a chance to redeem yourself when the baby comes. Don't blow it.
The first guy would definitely complain about the chair being too uncomfortable while his wife is delivering his baby.
bold of you to assume he would even show up. he would insist he had to "work," stay home watching the game with his buddies, and god help her if she needs a c-section because he sure won't...
He'd definitely get the call while on a hike or the golf course and ask her to wait.
And he'd complain it took too long.
@@dietotakuno he would go then get on to her for screaming because it's embarrassing him and it's not that bad.
He'd apologize to the nurse for "the scene she caused".
First one is a psychopath, and needs to take a hike deep into the woods, during a winter storm, with no supplies. Disgusting.
Yes, a nice hike. I'll even throw in a bottle of vodka for free.
My father would be like this. He threw tantrums, I was told, when my sister and I were infants, because my mother should feed him first, as he was the one working and we weren't doing anything but sleep.
I hope this guy changes once the child is born but chances are she's going to divorce him and fight for alimony until the child is 18yo.
Do not be weird to people with psychopathy please. People who do wrong things deliberately are your enemy, not people with alternative brain structures and/or mental illnesses.
@@dundeecake in my experience, both co-exist in the same person.
I’d be content to learn that she divorced him and was living her best life far away from him. That would be enough for me.
Imagine for a moment, a grown man who thinks a six months pregnant woman gaining a few pounds is abnormal.
"But she isn't skinny anymore... :("
- that guy (probably)
"grown" and "man" don't go together. They're all still children in their 90s
@@lexyshannon9428 100% after the birth he sends her to the gym so she can be skinny again or he'll leave her
There's far too many like that, a young couple I know had the opposite where he kept feeding her more snacks because he wanted to be certain she and baby would fine.
"Oh don't worry about some extra weight, it's good for you both"
And that thread is all the faith I have left for modern relationships.
I married one of those....and divorced him within the next 9 months.
When I was pregnant as I passed the 6 month mark, I got winded more easily because I was carrying more weight, my uterine growth put pressure on my diaphragm, making it harder to breathe, and the baby’s position. Did this person even look at any material concerning pregnancy? What a callous, arrogant jerk.
Yeah I remember the last month or two of my pregnancy that I would get out of breath just talking on the phone! I really hope that first story was fake.
I'm european, from South Italy. Here the policy for women is not white cause it's for the bride, and not black modest dress cause it's not a funeral; then, it's really a fashion show 😂 so I guess the problem are the coworkers
My guess is she looked *foreign*
@@nebulan That absolutely is it.
Swedish here and I'd say something similar.
Just not white, thats it.
Second Swede here. Depending on the wedding, and how close you are, you can come in very casual clothing.
When my dress didn't fit me anymore before my sisters wedding, she was such a gem and told me to come in a tshirt and sweats (aka my normal everyday clothing).
She wouldn't even have cared if I wore white. I could have come in full camo if I wanted.
Which is actually what my friend from Norway told me I could do for her wedding (it never happened due to the... virus).
Italy I can see it being more leaning towards a fashion show. Not trying to be mean or anything, it's just that Italy and France are like the "fashion capitals" of Europe.
Oh! I just remembered! Some of the guests at my sisters wedding actually had like, biker wests.
For context on that, many of the guests were their friends and fellow DACA members (drivers against child ab*se).
They still looked formal in a way. One of them had this really cute little pocket handkercheif in his west and it was adorable to see this big dude with tats and his beard braided so nicely.
@@lina9535 oh, your sister seems quite nice, and her wedding amazing! And don't worry, don't offende taken cause it's quite true lol(I'm joking) it's also a cultural things from some older generation, at least speaking of my side of country: weddings are considered very important social gaterings in which family celebration mixes with other kind of local folklore about prosperity and stuff, so it's kind of desrespectful don't show in your most lavish/beautiful attire
As a woman who loves hiking, being that pregnant and hiking would be awful.
It's not just being a bit out of shape, your entire body is working hard all the time to keep you and your baby alive.
Even just walking on the treadmill at a brisk pace was enough to make me vomit.
I feel so bad for the wife, my husband has always encouraged me to exercise but he knows I couldn't do much.
Also holy shit at 6 months half your damn rib cage is full of organs and baby! Breathing is a challenge!
I know haha I was saying that before pregnancy I hiked a mountain and ran a half marathon (on a wounded knee, not recommended lol)
The first trimester had me all winded after a mile walk.
Girl was 6 months oh gosh:(
I tried it (hiking while pregnant) and it was a really bad idea
For the love of God, someone buy the first guy SEVERAL books on pregnancy!
and throw them at him
that might be too complicated for him maybe just make a short tiktok on pregnancy he might just be able to grasp that
@@oreolaw9911 and speak like you're talking to a 5 year old 🤦
I don't think that's enough. The dude apologized for his wife throwing up and said she embarrassed him. She needs to make an exit plan. Dude has some kind of narcissism going on.
@@BeeWhistler I agree, I feel just awful for her.
The first story should have only one conclusion, D.I.V.O.R.C.E! I feel so sorry for the child who's going to be raised in that environment.
I feel bad for the lady from Africa. She really didn't do anything wrong. Maybe it was a faux pas, but she doesn't deserve to be treated badly. Her German colleges need to learn some grace in my opinion, and be more specific about the dress code if it matters that much to them.
Yeah same! Like if she had worn a white wedding dress like gown, I could see someone I guess kind of caring (be it that she didn't know the culture). But like everyone at a wedding is their for the couple, I don't really believe in outshining.
Exactly, I'm German and whenever I was at a wedding or whenever I see a wedding party the guests are dressed to the nines.
I love how she's like "we have manners here" but her actions and attitude prove her wrong. 😂😂
Germans will never unlearn racism, they go against slavic immigrants too. It's another level of a problem.
@@modernkhajiit that is a bold statement considering it's wrong. Impressive
“She’s pregnant so she’s gained some weight”
Yeah, I’d be more concerned if she didn’t??? There’s a whole frickin HUMAN in her stomach bro
“She should’ve kept up her normal exercise routine”
My brother in Christ she is building a human
@NearsightedNarhwal Exactly!!! The fact that she's exhausted from growing a human, what doesn't this guy understand???
9:35 She literally told her dress to impress. How could that have been interpreted in any other way than wear your nicest clothes? Sounds like Mom of the bride and bride herself aren't very gracious, or competent at that.
No, people also dress nicely on European weddings. Those people in the wedding story were just mean and racist.
"People have manners here" makes ME want to run through a park with a giant red flag and I ALREADY have back problems.
@@VforVendettas Yeah, we no longer have a book of etiquette everyone follows. Yet we got all these people who assume you have the same code they do and hold you accountable for things you didn't know. So I hate it when people just say "manners" and don't specify. Like, some people teach their kids to call all adults "ma'am" and "sir" and others don't, and then the kids get scolded for not doing it. Why assume everything is deliberate?
I agree! She didn't wear white so, wth? The people were just racist and mad she looked so good
I checked out that reddit post and she actually shared a picture of herself on her profile because so many people were curious about it. I've seen some stunning wedding attire from various countries all over that continent and I could see how some styles can be more attention grabbing and elaborate than others (although I think even if she had the most over the top everything she still wouldn't have been in the wrong)
Her dress was stunning. It is elegant and beautifully designed. At least here in the states this would have 100% been appropriate wedding attire. I hate the cliche of saying this but it genuinely sounds like they were being mean because they were jealous (and also racist)
If you click on the link in the video description and click on the authors name she's got it posted still and it's beyond gorgeous but in my mind she did absolutely nothing wrong
AND they said, "dress to impress". She aced the assignment!
I am a black woman with a diverse group of friends. My wedding had a similar vague dress code and I absolutely loved the time and effort that people went to, to bring their best in culturally traditional clothes. It made my wedding absolutely beautiful in pictures. And it was a show of respect to me and my family. I think if something like that actually ruined your day, you’re just miserable people.
The fact that they said dress to impress and then got angry about traditional African garb is just straight up racist. I'm UK based, I've seen so many beautiful African families in their traditional clothing over the years and it always makes me so happy. The bride and mother in this story are awful people 😡
They very much do sound like miserable people. The whole thing comes off as a nasty borderline setup tbh. People who are at all bothered with 'outshining' and being all gossipy and intriguing about it, are being petulant and mean little girls. It never ceases to amaze me how certain people just peak around year 8 in public school and never move on from that social MO.
I am from Germany,and usually there's only one unspoken rule when it comes to wedding clothes: Don't wear white like the bride,if nothing special is announced through the invitation.
I am shocked listening to this story,because mostly Germans aren't racist persons.I mean,she did nothing wrong,wore green - not white,the bride's colour- and I am very sure,her outfit was absolutely beautiful and appropriate.It is a shame,that this happened to her,the bride's mother had been more precisely about what to wear at a wedding,so OP could better understand german weddings.So she got a very bad impression of german people,I am very sure,a different bride with a different mother would have handle this with better manners.
agreed. I would never put down someone for embracing their culture and looking beautiful at a celebration. I would feel honored to have such beautiful guests tbh. I enjoy beautiful things in life so i guess there’s that. 😊
I'm Indian & our wedding tradition is very similar to yours. Weddings are about shamelessly flaunting your sartorial sense & style, & it's visually extravagant. In fact the families get offended if guests don't turn up well decked. Also, it's impossible to outshine an Indian bride.
1st story bothers me so much. I went hiking with my husband 6 months pregnant 3 miles hike (my stubborn idea). Well I barely made it a mile and started crying and my husband carried me and the rest of the family carried our bags. I can't imagine what that lady went through
This is how that story should have gone.
@@Efflorescentey or a better one, that hike should have not happened
“Come tip toe through the tulips with me!!” 😂😂 Love when you sing the Tiny Tim song so aggressively!
Hey guy, when my mom was 3-5 months pregnant with my brother when I was THREE I made her put her feet up and get her water every single time after we got home from a one-block walk or the park and would entertain myself while she took a breather, you are just about the worst husband on the planet because as a toddler who didn't even understand completely what was happening to my mom, I understood that she was dealing with a lot physically
You were a very sweet child
That’s so sweet! ❤
My daughter tried taking care of me like that when I was pregnant with my son / her brother.
My husband did a damn good job of taking care of me though.
OK, but you saying that you "MADE her put her feet up" is honestly hilarious. The mental picture of a three year old being like "Nope, don't you DARE move, I am gonna get everything for you, STAY RIGHT THERE AND RELAX!" is so funny and cute.
@@catbatrat1760 oh that's absolutely what happened lol, i was stubborn as hell
Crazy a LITERAL child has more empathy than the guy in the beginning…..
I can't imagine what the guy from the first story is going to be like as a Dad. How does he not have any empathy for his wife and actually doesn't think he did anything wrong.
Wanting her to "take responsibility" for ANY of this is actually insane 😅
I know exactly how he’ll be because my dad forced my mom on a hike which is why I was born 3 months early at 2lbs 6oz. Let’s just say I don’t like my dad.
He'll be the guy who doesn't understand why she can't "keep the house up" when she's just sitting alone with a sleeping baby.
I think someone needs to sit him down and over-explain gestation physiology to him.
@@heatherduke7703 I'm glad you're still with us ❤
The first story guy doesn't mention the baby at all. Unhinged
I noticed that too. Imagine what kind of a father he’s going to be!! She needs to GTFO ASAP.
That guy is going to be the "walk it off," kind of dad when their kid has a broken bone.
@@catandrobbyfloresand when it heals wrong bcuz the kid didn't make a fuss, dad's gonna say, "you should have said something!"
@@permafrost0979 exactly! 💯
He definitely didn't take her to the doctor after the hike either which is a bad idea considering the state she was in. I hope they divorce because it would be better for them.
I always say that! "When you cheat on a partner, you cheat on your whole family!". So I never understood when couples stay together for their kids. They are only the scapegoat.
„Ahhh yes my wife is six month pregnant and her having a big belly is surely because she doesn’t move and not because she has a child inside her“ I’m sure that that was exactly what the man in the first story thought
Reminds me of my ex-husband when I was pregnant. He said being pregnant is no excuse to gain weight. A baby only weighs about six pounds and I could easily offset that by loosing 6 pounds.
@@brendamoon2660 I suppose his car weighs less than 300 pounds too. No need for things like seats, carpeting, safety equipment, doors, windshield, etc.
@@brendamoon2660I’m glad that he’s your Ex. Well done and best wishes!
@@brendamoon2660they really shouldn't have separated the boys and the girls in sex ed
Story 1
"My wife is 6 months pregnant, and has gained a bit of weight and is often moody."
Does... Does he *not* know how pregnancy works??
Story 2
Red flag... but with good ending, I guess.
Story 3
NTRF. Cultural dress-codes are not universal knowledge.
(Also, faves to the mini-red flag!)
NTRF? Not... The Referee Football???
@@xeldrine66 Not the red flag!
@@tessabakker662 Ahh... thar makes more sense.
story 2 isn't really a red flag. he doesn't have to reconnect with his daughter if he doesn't want to. plus it was 17 years of NC. Why contact now?
@@GiordanDiodatoyeah of course, the CHEATER and HOMEWRECKER doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, poor widdle baby!
Your wife’s BEHAVIOR!?!!?🤬😡 because throwing up from physical stress is a BEHAVIOR!?!
I was literally going to say this, like, WHAT???? It's almost the same as getting sick from a virus. She got sick from overexertion. If she caught the flu or covid and was weak and feverish and coughing and throwing up, would you also call those things behaviors??? what world does this idiot live in?
Yeah that pissed me off so much. Sounds like some parents I know who can't tell the difference between kids having issues and misbehaving - punishing them for wetting the bed or having food allergies
He literally said that she did it on purpose 🤦🏻♀️
@@RavenSutcliffe unless the poor woman shoved her fingers down her throat to trigger vomiting, she threw up from stress and strain. throwing up because of illness is not a behavior.
@@Star_Rattler the facepalm emoji was in disbelief. I was most definitely not agreeing, just further explaining what that POS was saying
Wonder if dude is going to blame his newborn for slowing down his pace after being lazy the last 8 months?
Last story the mom probably saw how her co-worker dressed for work and assumed “a girl from Africa can’t possibly have anything expensive or fancy. She’ll just wear a business dress and I get to show off my black friend”. So gross! And I’ve seen it played out before
I thought the same thing.
As long as you’re not wearing white or wearing an actual bridal gown, everything else is fair game
At 6 months I couldn’t walk down one aisle at the grocery store. I had developed a heart murmur. I hope his wife lets her doctor know what happened. Dude is a HUGE red flag.
Possibly the first time that doctor would refer a patient to a divorce lawyer instead of another doctor...
With my oldest I had to wear a harness as I could barely walk at 4 months pregnant as she sat so low. My husband helped me into baths with Epsom salt and got me an amazing body pillow to help me be comfortable. This first dude doesn't deserve to have a wife or child. He only cares about what affects him and what he wants to do.
At 6 months pregnant my kids put so much pressure on my lungs I literally had to crawl up the two flights of stairs to get to our apartment. At 7 months they broke my ribs. I'm not saying that happens to every pregnant woman. But MAN! Pregnancy is hard physical work for your body! 😮
holy cow, that sounds painful! Twins?
@@operationada Yap, twins. Was painful back then and still sometimes is today. Still it was worth it. I couldn't imagine life without kids. 😊
I didn't break any ribs, but my baby did compress my lungs a lot. Plus, I had that round ligament pain.
@@pcbassoon3892 Things noone tells you when you say you're pregnant. Everyone's just like "Yeah, congratulations!" 😁
You see, some people see pregnancy and say "oh wow women are so fragile and weak". But no dude, pregnancy shows how tough women are. The most impressive and demanding task a human body can do.
0:44 is bud stupid????💀
Yes.
Yes...yes he is.....
Story 1: That dude has a divorce heading his way. YTA.
Story 2: YTA. OP destoryed his family and his relationship with his daughter. But when the daughter tries to reach out, he blanks her. OP deserved to be alone.
Story 3: NTA. All the co worker said was "dress to impress"... at a wedding. To a person who is not familar with western style weddings.
To me, even as an American, "dress to impress" implies a higher level of dress code than one would usually assume for a wedding. It would make me think that I had to get my hair, nails, and makeup done and spend way more than I'd be comfortable with on a new dress at a fancier store. Seems like a poor choice of words on the coworker's part.
My thought for story 3 back when I first read it was "why not just google, or ask for extra clarification".
Then again, I tend to worry a lot about things 😅
Story 2: And you're the moron. She decided to go NC with him and is reaching out now after 17 years? Nah fam.
Bingo. That IS what that means. @@MogamiKyoko13
@@lina9535 But she did. It says she asked about the dress code and about what would be appropriate. She did everything right.
That woman needs to divorce that jerk! (first story)
Yeah, the hike could have just been a dumb mistake. His reaction to it was almost cartoonishly evil. Apologizing for her?!? They should have been discussing whether to go to the hospital!
@@BeeWhistlerexactly. He's vile. I hope she and the kid are safely free of him.
Also I realize it's kind of apples to oranges but to me a woman in traditional African dress with or without the head scarf/wrap is like seeing a Scottish man wearing a full Highland kilted suit just a wonderful sight to behold and a wonderful way for people of other cultures to learn about other traditional clothing from other countries. That being said she did nothing wrong they said dress to impress which she did so they can't have it both ways. As an American I know not to dress in a way to "outshine" the bride but tbh if it was me I'd probably be fan girling wanting to know EVERYTHING about her cultures clothing.
Right? I’d have so many questions. And as an introvert, I’d be glad to find someone who could do the major part of the talking.
You don't want to dress like, way more formal if there's a dress code, or something like that, but something about trying not to outshine the bride feels so condescending to me as a concept. Like yeah sorry, I won't accidentally look too pretty because I know that's not a risk for her. Idk. Not blaming you in any way, it's just such a weird concept. Like, I wouldn't want guests at my wedding trying to look worse at my wedding so I didn't feel threatened.
I feel this is a situation in which everyone was wrong. As an Afro-Caribbean woman, the first thing I am going to do is search online what weddings there are like. I am not wearing anything extravagant. The mother was wrong for telling her that, the colleagues were wrong, but I don't find her right either.
@@YurinanAcquiline I see your point, but I think what she wore was objectively not wrong in the situation. The formal dress of one culture is ALWAYS appropriate to an event of similar formality in a different culture, and to treat it otherwise is just xenophobia. If she's a little overdressed, that shouldn't be a big deal. If they're mad she's pretty, no shit. You can't be mad at a WOC for being prettier than you.
@@YurinanAcquiline I see your point, but I don't agree. I think the formal dress of any culture is appropriate to any other, if they're not xenophobes. Maybe she was a little overdressed, but that in itself should be a very minor faux pas. And you just can't be mad at WOC for being prettier than you.
The first one really proves that one of our core problems as a species is lack of empathy. It may not have always been this way, but something about the way we've developed has made it really obvious that most people simply *do not* consider the lives of others. There's no possible way you can consciously understand what a pregnancy is and have the kind of attitude that guy had. Either that's a great rage bait fake-out, or just another sign that we are *done* within the next hundred or so years.
Even animals have empathy
Thank you. You're the first person aside from myself that I've heard say you don't just cheat on your spouse, but your whole family. It's hard to get that acknowledgement and it feels good even as an adult.
My dad said he was only hurting my mom and his kids with his infidelity (as if that wasn’t bad enough for him to stop). When they divorced, he broke up the grandparents from being able to mingle, mutual friends, aunts and uncles who became close friends on both sides. It destroys an ecosystem, essentially. It’s incredibly selfish.
but at the same time, why reinitiate contact after 17 years?
3rd story-the guest FREAKING ASKED!!! And; yes-that is racially coded af!!!
The undertone right from the start was "You Africans probably wear gray drapes to weddings because you're so poor and uncivilised. Dress to impress and you might be on par with the other guests". I'm always shocked by how people experiencing racism don't just spontaneously combust from rage, just reading it is so infuriating.
Ya’ll are reading a lot into it. She said she was ‘African’, and they were ‘white’. She’s from a continent, they’re a skin color. They didn’t make it racial, she did. Why not a European wedding? A German wedding? Nope, a white wedding. Then says something is racially coded, which is a subjective opinion. No self awareness at all on her part, it’s just those evil racist whites.
"We have manners here." I heard this kind of thing in the UK all the time and I'm white with an English dad. I had a "culture issue." I'm from NYC. I cannot even imagine the things that are said to POC immigrants there and in Europe, though my flatmates, all WOC, told me some. You can't talk to my French family about anything. My uncle wants to ban all head scarves in pubic and had never even heard of people with kinky hair covering it or the concept of a protective style. I'm sure people are that racist every day in the US, but they are not comfortable copping to it, my god. You know the racism is bold when The whitest person alive (visually) is catching strays.
the real problem is that the mother of the bride invited her, not the bride herself. It is not the place of the brides mother to invite people to her daugthers wedding. the bride was angry because from her perspective the african woman was an univited guest, she probably told her mother off and she took her anger out on the african lady who did not know that in europe a brides mother has no right to invite people to her childs wedding...
@; again-why would you put another person in such a sticky and unpleasant situation for no reason at all?!
10:16 if she's Nigerian then i perfectly understand, Nigerian weddings are very very over the top with traditional clothing so i understand her confusion
I do think that there was some genuine cultural clash/misunderstanding here, but she wasn't the red flag. And the Mother of the Bride WAAAY overreacted, and she's the one who needs to apologize. (Though for the sake of healing the relationship, it might be good for OP to go in with some photos and explain kindly what her experience of weddings is like, and how what she was told led her to think that the what she wore was in line with what was expected. People don't even realize the cultural expectations they subconsciously hold. And that she wasn't trying to 'outshine the bride.' And then we could hope that they reconcile. But of course it's the German co-worker who needs to be apologizing here. ).
Honestly? I bet OP is *stunning*, and that's the problem. If you'd "outshine the bride" in a flour sack, people tend to get real mad.
Honestly, I’m white and because of my autism/adhd would have also interpreted “dress to impress” as “wear my best outfit”. I also would have just assumed I shouldn’t wear white. Everyone could stand give more instructions to guests if they’re not literally in the wedding party, regardless of where they’re from 😭
@@bumblebeerror9019EXACTLY, I also just love getting dressed up for anything and everything, so I definitely would have gone overboard with "dress to Impress"
@@bumblebeerror9019Anyone would have interpreted it that way. Got nothing to do with autism or ADHD.
omfg.
as a woman, the line ' It caused her to gain a bit of weight and become moody, so i figured some exercise would be good for her and for me' pisses me off so much.
First.. Thats a CHILD in there
second, that weight is needed to supplement that child.
third, wtf is wrong with them?
Next time someone asks you about the dress code, be specific! Don't tell me to 'dress to impress' than tell me I outshone the bride! There is no such thing as outshining a bride. Personally, I'd be THRILLED if someone chose to wear traditional garb, no matter the tradition, to my wedding.
You sound like a good person.
The bride in this story just sounds like a narcissist who needs to be the center of attention.
@@denofpigs2575
In her defense, wanting to be the center of attention at your own wedding is reasonable.
What isn't reasonable is being vague about the dress code and then being upset that someone wore an outfit you thought looked better than yours.
@@LostGirl04 Wanting to be the center of attention to the point of racist remarks against someone else might be a normal thing for most people but it's a pretty alien concept to me so idk
Additionally, I said needing to be the center of attention.
You said wanting.
Completely different contexts.
If you're going to defend, at least word your defense properly.
@@denofpigs2575
I wasn't looking at it any deeper than what I'd said; I'm pretty sure I even said in my original reply that it was taken way too far, but if I didn't, I am now. Being the center of attention at your own wedding is a reasonable thing to want (or even feel like you need), but again, in this case, it went WAY too far.
And obviously I don't condone blatant racism. There's never an excuse for that.
They told her,wear something pretty, it's okay whatever u wonna to wear. ..she comes up with a traditional dress,and she looks stunning, but what u won't!?? Should she wear a Burka??? It is not her fault that the bride is feeling like she is ugly,it's not her fault that the bride sees everyone as a concurrent! She has nothing wrong!
Story 1: Did the friends have an issue with it? Because I think there is another layer to the issue here.
Oh I guarantee they did. But that would make him look bad. So he came here for validation on his behavior so he just left that out cuz that was inconvenient for his narrative.
I wouldn't be surprised if that guy had friends who are as ignorant as he is
Seeing as his friends slowed down first before he did, I think the friends would probably think he is the uncaring jerk embarrassing himself by blaming his wife.
I mean if any of the friends had an issue they should get bent along with OP.
@@Nessy-of-the-Lynn cool. I missed that part of the story (This is what I get for listening to youtube at work)
As someone who is 8.5 months pregnant, no even at 4 months i couldn’t do that first one. The baby pushes your diaphragm and lungs about, presses on arteries and all sorts. Gentle exercise is recommended as it cannot harm you or baby in the way more intense stuff such as a steep hike can
2:17 pregnancy literally makes you sick, my sister-in-law could hardly eat any foods because they’d all make her vomit. She’s gaining weight because the baby is developing. Whole it’s good to be a bit active (so she doesn’t develop clots) but she literally should not be working out much because it is bad for her. She’s doing everything that she should be. YTA, YTRF
I genuinely stop and ask myself how these dudes have wives. Especially when they have the gull to go to the internet and go, "Hey... I'm not the problem, right...?"
@@cctomcat321well, they have wives because they don't show their true colors before getting married, usually. The Internet post bit is generally just wanting their ego bloated and validated
"I don't know how to get her to stop." Notice he had no interest in understanding WHY she is behaving that way.
I immediately noticed that as well!
And he will blame her for reacting in the "wrong" way every time he commits another transgression against her, for the rest of the relationship. He can never be wrong. And if she points out why she is upset, he will just double down and become even more abusive.
Even if she was tolerating This type of neglect and abuse toward her before, she's going to have a new baby to take care of, and he's not only NOT going to be much help if any, he is going to be very resentful of the attention she gives to the baby.
It's only going to escalate. I hope she gets out soon and that he is not given much parenting time unless it is supervised. He is too immature and selfish to take care of a baby without somebody else there to keep an eye on him.
Unfortunately, that might be a reason she has to stay until the baby is in a full day of school. Or at least until the child is old enough to know how to dial 911.
And I hope she knows about this social media post and saves copies of it to show to the judge and friend of the court in the divorce court, as evidence for why he shouldn't have any kind of parenting time other than supervised parenting time
@@TakenTookfacts! I hope she gets out of that toxic environment
What that pregnant woman’s husband did was vile!! Stop expecting women to not gain weight while CARRYING YOUR CHILD. F**k alllll the way off with that bs. 😒 I’m grateful my partner didn’t treat me that way while I was pregnant.
That first story 😳. I went on a hike with my nephew and his wife when she was about 6 months pregnant herself- it was less than two miles total and my nephew kept his wife’s pace, putting his hand on her back, holding her hand, checking in with her. I was proud of him then and now even more so!
8:15 I am from Europe, not Germany, but close, The Netherlands. I have never heard this "of outshining the bride". It is best not to wear the same color as the bride is wearing, but looking at the whole day, it is a big, huge party. After the ceremony there is most of the times, dancing and fun, so a big party, so it is a good place to be wearing your best! I would be honored to have a traditional dressed African lady on my wedding! It sounds like it is just an other reason to be disrespectful to this lady! And I also think it is just a misunderstanding of cultures. So why are these people this harsh on this lady? It's oke to be yourselve, it is a good moment to show your own culture...I think the red flag should be planted at this colleague's desk. Especially as she is not talking to her, but she is talking to everybody else about her??
In America they consider it really rude, you must dress your best but modest. No skin showing on the upper thighs, chest, or belly. Back showing is elegant though, but some might still fuss about that. And the clothes shouldn't be super tight like club wear it should be elegant but it can be your own style as long as it's still "modest". Then you have a few young people, probably about 30% of weddings here, they will want the brides maids to look sexy in a tight sparkly dress with elaborate hair decorations. It really depends on the person in some places. Some people have a specific image in their head, so it's best for them to put expectations on the invitation, sometimes they will even put a color preference for outfits if its a color themed wedding. Like "all peach" or "all pink" where men wear pink ties and pink socks for example. Personally if I had the money and could pick anything I want a fairy nature themed wedding but I will not have the money for that 😅 I would love pink green and brown to be the theme colors for guests, thats a pretty wide rage of clothing and they can wear what they like and it would still all match. Stuff like that sounds fun to me personally! I'd be the one to wear elaborate fairy wings on my wedding day if I could! I'd probably only be able to get them for me but if I could it would be fun if everyone wore them. I don't care if its silly its cute 😭💖 I'm 27 and I would love a nature/fairy theme wedding
I have 4 kids. I teach dance and continued to teach through most of my last pregnancy. I would NOT have been able to do a 6 mile hike on flat ground, let alone with hills! I am so worried about that man trying to take care of a baby....
She's making a human. That makes you tired.
It's also just the space that human needs in the body. All the organs shift, the lungs get compressed.
Ok, I can speak on the first story because I've been pregnant with and birthed 5 children personally. I have hiked mild trails for 2-3 miles and with resting points no problem while pregnant. I enjoy family hikes even when I'm the size of a whale (unless my pelvic joints are popping like crazy, like they do in late pregnancy for me). Thing is, everyone goes at my pace, which is leisurely with maybe a touch of hustle, we take breaks when I need them, and if I say I can't do it anymore, then we're done and turning back. Often times, yes I am a bit of a couch potato because this belly and everything that goes with it is heavy and puts pressure on joints and depletes you like nothing else can (except maybe breastfeeding). Everyone in my life is understanding of this. If dude has a reasonable mom, maybe ask her to enlighten him since he was so eager to humiliate and shame her in front of friends, uno reverse with his mother.
Exactly, if you're regularly and recently doing whichever forms of exercise you're happy with and your pregnancy isn't high risk, you should be ok to continue, but always check with your medical professional first. But don't take up anything new and strenuous at that time, build up slowly.
The wife even tried - and kept trying - to do the hike, to the point that she was vomiting over the exertion! But he thinks *she* embarrassed *him* .
But HE didn't want that.
He wanted her to keep HIS pace from A to B, without stopping.
In addition, pregnancy varies from person to person.
You sound like you've been lucky, while she may be having a harder time.
And with a man who forces/manipulates her to go on a hike, she is not fit for and in his tenpo, I hope she divorces him, because it will only be from here on out.
@@purplepixie274 for sure, every pregnancy is different, even for the same person. I was very active and energetic with number 4, couldn't gain hardly any weight and fainted with number 2, serious couch potato with number 5. Exercise is great, but you want to take it easy for sure.
@@irisravenhild9060 for the most part yes, my pregnancies have been fairly easy, except number 2, she was hard on my body 😂 still pretty easy compared to high risk folks though. Dude here was a douche, I really hope the women in his life straightened out his perception real quick. I didn't like jumping to divorce, maybe it's because hubby and I have toughed it out with one another for 14 years so I know that under normal circumstances it can be done. This sounds like it's their first and that he has absolutely 0 idea about pregnancy etc, it's easy for men to disassociate from it because they didn't directly experience it, even being a witness isn't enough. If they're exposed to it beforehand or with subsequent pregnancies they can gain empathy. His misunderstanding of her pregnancy isn't the only problem here clearly, the blatant disrespect is another issue and hopefully a discussion can fix that. I'd say if it continues though...
The first one literally made my jaw drop. That has to be rage bait, bc if not...hooo boy.
I've had too much experience with crappy men, well, my father anyway, to know how stupid and toxic they can be about medical conditions. My father called me "fat" (I wasn't even THAT fat) because I had a lil belly fat and expected me to lose weight even after my neurologist said the medications I'm taking for seizures MAKES ME RETAIN SOME WEIGHT. When my two dermatologists BOTH said my severe acne as a teenager was untreatable, my father kept nagging me to try Proactive until I did it to shut him up. Surprise, it didn't work. He was just that obsessed with his daughter not looking like the perfect doll child.
He “didn’t understand his coworker”. He used his coworker’s drama to rationalize his infidelity. That guy is a walking red flag.
“She has let yourself go” boy she has your child. Six months pregnant and she has gained weight, wow what a shock. Like, oh she’s pale and violently throwing up, must be because she’s been resting from carrying YOUR child lately. Hope his wife gets better and realizes how much better she can do
1:55 my guy...no this guy doesn't understand what happens during pregnancy the baby leaches all your energy her sugar probably dropped and the over exertion made her sick i agree that he could have costed her and the babies life tbh it sounds like you want that the way you act
Not to mention "morning" sickness.
@@jacqslabz exactly!! I had it throughout the day through my whole 40 weeks
The way he said "I ate the same food as her, so it couldn't have been that..." Like, he's the only one who didn't realize the reason she was the only one who threw up is because she's the only one who was PREGNANT.
Story 1 guy needs that pregnancy empathy suit, the labor pain simulator, and a harsh reality check. His poor wife deserves so much better.
2:52 this guy talks like hes just as delusional as the stalker guy who was 40s area and stalking the woman who was pregnant and working from home.
Sorry, what? I need to hear more about that.
Same
"People here have manners" oh, really? Where? Are you hiding yours?
Sadly that kinda stuff is common in Germany.. Of course not everyone here is like that, but especially older generations are.
As an example: There is a woman I talk to occasionally (because our dogs get along well) and a couple of weeks ago she was pointing to a building on the other street and said: "The apartment down there in that building.. some dark-skinned people moved in there." And then she pauses, as if she expected a reaction and I just stared her down blankly for several seconds, until she went: "Not that I have anything against dark-skinned people.. but they were drying their clothes on the bushes!" She then ranted a bit about how you can't do that and she wondered who else would move into the neighbourhood.
I wish I had more courage to speak my mind.. I would've asked her what the colour of their skin had to do with their actions.. there are enough pasty white German natives that do stupid stuff and are a nuisance (not that I think drying some clothes on bushes is a nuisance.. maybe they didn't have a drying rack yet. Who cares?). The amount of times people mention skin colour/ethnicity to tell something that has nothing to do with it. Like: "The Asian people that live up there always listen to loud music."
I always want to start saying stuff like "My white neighbour." or "The German people that live there." just to point out those people's casual racism. But I don't usually tell any stories.. just listen and react.
Okay, I went on a tangent here.. I'm not trying to talk badly about Germans and especially younger generations are fairly open-minded. Of course, just like in every country, there are conservatives and closed-minded people in every generation.. but sadly casual racism is still ingrained in a lot of people and the mindset that everything has to be quiet and orderly.
That said, if I were the bride in that scenario, I'd love to have the OP at my wedding. I love different cultures and I'd probably talk to her about hers and what weddings look like where she is from.
😂
@@borealernadelwald Oh god that sounds like my Grandma (from New York). She's like on a line between ignorant and racist. She doesn't hate anyone (I think?), but she believes stereotypes like they're gospel. She told me about her doctor, saying she was "an Oriental girl". She believes Asians are genetically better at math/science but worse at empathy. She asked a guy named Jesus "Where are you from?" out of nowhere just because of his name. We finally got her to say "Asian" instead of "Oriental", but then we took her out to eat at Olive Garden and she looked around and said "There are so many Asian people here!" I was so embarrassed.
But like, idk what's up with her. My dad was shocked at her statements, saying she didn't say things like that when he was younger. He claims she even cautioned him against racism or saying things about people based on the way they look. She's from NYC, not some tiny town with 99% white people. She saw and knew plenty of people of different ethnicities. But she's been a bit of a hermit for the past 15 years, so maybe that's it.
OMG!!! 🤣 10:48 “… that lets us know she has a white hood at home.” 👏👏👏 That’s what it all boiled down to in the end.
This!!!
It was in Germany so it might have been a red armband and a skull hat, bit yeah....
@@lukasspindeldreher7743 Reminds me of a story of a Krispy Kreme in Britain that used the initials K.K.K for an event (they later apologized 😅).
1:09 I would need all the strengh in the world to not attack him and I'm saying this as a stranger. There is no way that his friends agreed to watch her suffer and risk her baby's life. Horrible people. I hate everything about this man.
The second story, the daughter ended up visiting and staying for a week, at the end OP told her he had no interest in being a grandad and it was too late to rekindle their relationship. And then he left the country. Neither has reached out since.
What the fuck.. ughh
did he mention why the daughter reinitiated contact?
@ from what I remember I think her mom had urged her to and she finally decided to let go of the past because she wanted her kid to have a grandfather.
At 6 months pregnant her lungs are probably getting pretty squished, and it can be really hard to breathe deeply. The inside of her body has to make room where there wasn't any, and so there's less room for lung expansion. Additionally, her body is using more oxygen to grow and sustain a second person and at baseline she would be breathing faster than when not pregnant, all which leads to being prone to shortness of breath. When pregnant it becomes much harder to perform physical tasks because you struggle to take in enough oxygen to support those activities. The overall effect can vary between people, but when I was 7/8 months pregnant walking my dog around the block could wind me. It has nothing to do with 'letting yourself go' or being lazy.
When i was pregnant, My hubby would go to the store in the middle of the night, to get me a cherry pepsi and a bag of funyuns. Or a vanilla coke and a bag of hot potato chips or pork skins.
Whatever i wanted, he was all for.
Never said a word about me gaining weight! I would cry about it and he would say "there's just more of you to love".
Awww good on your hubby! So compassionate with you! Hope your family is doing well! 💕
I'm gonna use that line when I hopefully have a pregnant wife one day 🥰
That’s so precious ❤
You got a good one. You did all the work of pregnancy but he’s very cute
For that last story, if anyone had actually COMMUNICATED to OP then OP could've left and either gotten an outfit that matched the wedding more or just left the wedding entirely
It was not up to OP to magically know what was wrong and clearly OP wasn't against dressing in a certain way to suit the wedding style, the coworker just chose to gossip behind OP's back instead
The first story: I was sick for 10 months….. I barely ate because of it….still threw up….. around the clock… started at 160 and delivered at 90lbs ….. he is lucky to be in his wife’s presence….. she tolerates a lot……. Some men are insufferable…… LOVE YOUR VIDEOS DUSTIN!
As a white german woman:
Bride in story 4 should've specified the dress code or live up to "dress to impress" as well. But I gotta say in germany normally the guests on weddings really favour elegance over extravagance, so I think probably the african lady really stood out a lot which made the bride uncomfortable for sure. Yet the bad treatment is definetly undeserved!
Then maybe she shouldve said that instead of saying "dress to impress" to a person of a different race. Every race has different ways to dress especially in weddings and not specifying what to wear and then getting mad and talking shit instead of talking to the person about it makes her look like a rtard and racist for her petty comment.
Yeah, the problem here is that they assumed that she could read their minds and had no interest in showing any understanding for her viewpoint. They sound very self-absorbed.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with standing out. The bride being "uncomfortable" with that is her own personal problem. Selbst Schuld, kein Mitleid.
The dress was stunning and I would have loved to take pictures with her! It is also reasonable for someone not familiar with the people or the culture to keep to themselves.
I’d have been proud to have a friend there who could shine some light on another country’s customs and dress. I would’ve been very specific if there was a theme in mind, knowing that my friend “isn’t from around here.”
She is not holding a grudge, she is trying to figure out how to become a single mother without you abusing her
The first story- buddys friends slowed down to accomodate pregnant wife before he did. His friends are less toxic to the actual mother of his child. Hope he enjoys paying child support
"It's a wedding. Everyone dresses nice."
My mom remarried earlier this year, it was very small and only close family. My stepdad insisted everyone can just dress casually, as he was going to get married in shorts. Now, he did it very neatly, it didn't look sloppy or anything, he still looked smart.
My new stepuncle took him waayy too seriously and arrived at the venue... in sweatpants and flipflops.
Nothing wrong with that, and is still dressing nice IMO, but if the dress code is "dress to impress," then it's reasonable to assume that's nice for a dressy wedding. I'd have dressed up too. Be more clear.
0:52 “its caused her to gain a little weight and get more moody,” yeah no shit. Pregnancy does that
1st guy is a big beaming red flag, so red, it can be seen from space
Pregnant wife needs to leave that guy. Theres no point. Shell be better off alone with her baby. Unfortunately her guy turned out to be an idiot. The guy put her and her baby at very high risk. He’s the type of guy who’ll expect her to make fancy dinners and entertain him etc two days after giving birth and wont understand why she needs recovery and rest! Grief.
the first one… when we’re pregnant, we throw up if you look at us funny. it’s literally involuntary and there’s nothing worse than trying to convince yourself not to puke. your mouth is watering, nose is running, stomach is killing you, knowing it’s inevitable. horrible.
2:48 😂😂😂 exactly this guy doesn’t listen to anything she says. I know best blah blah blah. He probably thinks any down time when his wife isn’t working makes her a couch potato. She needs to drop him before he does this bs with their kid.
Oof that first one 🫣 I went from running 18 miles one weekend to not being able to complete 5 miles a couple of weeks later. I also ended up in the hospital because I was sweating and shaking in pain. Pregnancy can be completely wild.
What I appreciate about the second story is he didn’t just stick the story up and then argue with the verdict, he actually did something about it.
I can appreciate accountability after living with people who do not know how to take it.
It's dumb tbh. His daughter cut contact for 17 years and only now wants to reconnect? Nah there's gotta be a catch
@@GiordanDiodato I think that’s a bit pessimistic. Whilst I agree, it is strange, there are many reasons for taking so long to reconnect, especially with family and I don’t think it does anyone any good to automatically assume that trying to reconnect is a bad thing. It just feeds into the bias that reconnecting is inherently negative and will have a bad outcome. Being sceptical is fair, but we know so little it’s hard to pass a judgement.
I appreciate your take. It's hard not to judge people forever based on one thing, since it can be how we keep ourselves safe from abusers or violent people. But I think accountability and change should be valued more than it is. We should always be striving to be better people than we were. To me, what matters is not so much what happened in the past, but how someone took responsibility for it, and whether the person they are now would do the same thing.
I personally thank him not wanting to reconnect with his daughter at first wasn't so much a bad thing considering he hadn't seen her in 17 years which is a long time and I feel like it's only natural to lose feelings like that after such a long time especially when you know the person you had those feelings for hate your guts. With that being said I feel like he could have handled it differently. But I don't think using the complete wrong. Like yeah he shouldn't have had an affair. But also I feel like the mother is mostly to blaming my opinion. Like if her mother wouldn't have made her hate her father the way she did and then this could have been avoided. Of course this is coming from my personal experience. My mother had cheated on my dad several times when they were married. And then whenever they do forced she accused him of abuse which was not true in order to get custody of me. Then she spent the majority of my life cuz they divorced when I was five trying to get me to hate him and telling me lies and also would not let me go over there to see him because of her hatred towards him for how their marriage ended even though it was her fault. Granted I didn't find out about the fact that she had affairs until I was almost fully grown. And because of how she raised me it gave me daddy issues without me needing to have issues with my father when he was an amazing parent. And my father was devastated when I got taken away from him. And after a certain amount of time he too had a stop biting for me cuz there was literally nothing he could do and the more he tried to see me the more lie she's told about him and it completely ruined his reputation and almost ruined his life completely because of it. So for my personal experience It doesn't matter how your relationship with your spouse ends If they are not a abusive awful parent then you should not not push your hate for them onto your child like that doesn't benefit your child at all. Why would you want to deprive your child of their parent just because you ended things with them on a bad term. Which is my biggest issue with the story. Like once I moved out of my mother's house it took me a long time to forgive her for making me hate my father. And even now my relationship with my dad will never be the same because of her. Like I struggle to feel anything for him because I never got the chance to love him growing up and I think that messed me up more than anything because I want to love him he deserves my love but because of my mother I just can't love him the way I used to and to me no parent should ever do that to their child. So I kind of blame her mother in this situation granted he shouldn't have cheated but you have to think about what is best for your child you have a child. With all that being said I do think the dad could have been a little nicer about telling her that he didn't want to reconnect with her maybe explained it more
@@kaylamoerman8808 it's not pessimistic, it's pretty obvious.
1:04 when my ex wife was pregnant with out daughter, she did hikes through the first two trimesters. Third trimester though, it was time for zen-like trances.
aaand why did she become an "ex" i might ask, if it's not too personal?
First story- someone needs to educate him that as the baby grows, ALL the mother’s internal organs are SQUISHED and are PUSHED OUT OF PLACE. Her center of gravity has changed. She can’t SEE her feet, which makes walking, much less hiking, a more dangerous activity. Mothers cannot gain weight only in their stomachs- it goes all over the body, and extra fat is needed to maintain the mother and the baby. She also has to increase her blood volume. She’s also growing a placenta that is the same size as the baby.
I could go on 🤦♀️
The placenta is about the size of a dinner plate at full term. The baby is much bigger. I saw mine a few times. It usually weighs about 1lb which is 1/6 of what a small baby weighs.
@@allalala9916 Thank you for the info. 😊
I can't imagine how anyone could be so ignorant and obtuse about pregnancy! This guy deserves a red flag shoved into his you know what, and be forced to go with this flag all those 8 miles his wife had to endure. I'm sorry, I just can't 🤦♀️
1:44 She is almost ready to deliver in three months!!! Are you freaking kidding me you need to exercise while pregnant but not to much no more then 30 mins for a walk, and your soooooooo exhausted and need a lot of sleep while pregnant as well she should have been drink a lot of water and I am currently pregnant and my husband and I went on a walk not a hike and I got really wiped out and was sweating a lot and my pelvic hurt a bit after and I’m in my second trimester what the F you need to read a book
There’s no one like you Dustin! Keep up the good work! Bravo!