Happened to me. 1. Love bombed 2. Attacked with a large boning knife in my home. Managed to get away. 3. Stalked for months before sentencing. 4. He went to prison. 5. Took me years to do normal stuff like going to the supermarket. 6. Court psychiatrist told me I will always need to keep something on my person to protect myself as I will always remain his target. Don't underestimate how far this behavior will go.
What an awful experience, I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I hope he stays in prison. So proud of you for taking action and taking your power back 💪🏼 You got this!
English is not my first language and I'm not kidding when I tell you that I was today years old when I found out that it's "love bombing" and not "love balming" 😂
Love balming would be the opposite. It would be healing someone who has been hurt by previous relationships with slow, gentle, consistent love. Love that doesn't judge or hurt, that accepts all the scars & thinks they make you beautiful. Love that supports in whatever way you need the most at the time. Love that notices details, signs, hesitations, love that asks questions with genuine interest & accepts boundaries without needing explanation. Love blaming would be telling your partner 'it's your fault I'm in love with you. You're just too damn awesome.' The last one is bc my phone kept insisting that's the word I meant to type. Also, English is weird.
I’d never considered “love _balming”_ before, but now that you type it, I can see how you could get there. Now I’m questioning myself. It’s bath bomb, right? Not bath balm…. right?!? 😅 Isn’t it funny how you can know the meaning of something, the name of something, but still get it a little wrong? Like, I spent waaaaaaay too long just walking around, living my life, thinking it was “ease dropping” and not _”eaves_dropping.” From the moment I actually saw the word written down, eavesdropping made immediate sense, but I think my own assumptions made sense too. I still had the same definition, I had just imagined a different origin story behind its meaning. 🫣 *Edit to add: and English _is_ my first language, so…. 😬
@@YellaBellaReno Yeah, lol. It just made complete sense to me, why it would be called love balming, I never even thought about it 😆. You hear something all the time and it kind of becomes the "France is bacon" situation. You just accept the way your brain processes it and then you find out years later that your brain was completely wrong 😂
That's because it's an American term and American pronunciation isn't proper English Most of the time it's impossible to differentiate between 'can; and 'can't' in Muricanese! 😘
When someone whos unhinged like these people go off with, 'Youll never find someone like me again!' I cant help but laugh cause im like, I hope youre right cause you are nuts 🤣
Lmaoo my ex yelled that at me while packing his shit and I said "thank God" and he turned red. He REALLY thought he'd laid out a zinger there and I was like nah man that's the POINT
Gotta love the "you'll never find another like me " line. My ex literally used this one on me when he was drunk after he pulled a gun on me and tried to kick me out of the house that I was paying rent at
At this point I consider calling yourself an "empath" a massive red flag. Yes, some folks are more empathic with people than others, but to a T every single person I've seen call themselves "an empath" seems way more like a narcissist.
Yes. They're not actually empathic, they are calling themselves that to make themselves sound special and different. A real empath won't announce it that way or behave like that.
As a deeply empathic person who picks up vibes really well I never introduce myself as an empath or say that I'm an empath. Like, ever. People will either be able to tell those traits from my behavior or not know unless we strike up a conversation about it much later. It's fishy whenever someone starts with that and I usually watch those kind of people jump to crazy incorrect assumptions and be rather selfish. Definitely not the flex they think it is.
I was lovebombed by an ex girlfriend and it was honestly worse than the neglect I got from the following ex. She overdid it with EVERYTHING, from saying we’re soulmates to “I love you” on the first night. She’d leave messages around for me to find like painting her fingernails with letters to texts when I was working or asleep. Then she’d get mad when I wouldn’t respond immediately to them, becoming dry and/or guilt tripping. If I didn’t have my ringer on to respond at all times or if I didn’t give her undivided attention (even around friends and family) she’d drag me out of the place we were and start crying crocodile tears to make me feel bad. The next ex was worse on the opposite scale, neglecting every need I had or would flat out ignore me because of his ADHD. I have a very loving boyfriend now who also has ADHD and I know plenty of people with it. There’s a difference between hyperfixation and intentionally ignoring someone.
You remind me of my first and second husbands. The first was abusive. I swore I would never get involved with a man like him again. I met his polar opposite. I thought, this is the one! He was awesome...til the day after we said our vows. He became someone else. A mean, angry, controlling guy who had me walking on eggshells. The marriage didn't last a year. I dared to get married once again...and got lucky. We were so happy. We raised a family and made it a priority to treat each other with respect and affection. We set an example for our children, of what a loving couple looks like. After 23 years I was alone again...after being loved so, it would be a miracle to find another good man. I know they're out there. But my instincts are not reliable. I've been celibate for years now, and I may well be for the rest of my days, not because of men, but because there's too many infections going around and I don't want to take a chance with my health.
I have ASD and can easily get distracted. I always make sure that if people I care about feel sad, I'm there for them. I don't understand people who are mean to their partners if they're supposed to love them. I'm glad you found your person!
I am so sick and tired of these emotionally bent and broken people, hijacking the terminology of being an empath. A true empath damn well knows boundaries, as we spend most of our life, with people trying to use and abuse ours. This makes us super aware of everyone's boundaries, all of the time.
As a fellow empath I couldn’t have said this better. As my therapist once told me “the only people that won’t respect your boundaries are those that benefited from you not having them.” As much as I’m aware of other people’s boundaries, I have a hard time making others accept mine.
I totally agree with you. Can I add that empathy is also when you put yourself in the other person's shoes? For example, and adding of what you mentioned, on the 1st case: an empath will respect the class time. 2nd one... so many things going on that is hard to choose one as an example (all the conversation is not empathic whatsoever)... in that one I'm 100% with the guy (blue text) and with Dustin. What is shown there was a person trying to control the other, manipulative and possessive, even delusional.
As another fellow empath, I agree 100%! Not only do we know boundaries, it's like we are hyper-aware of them. I also tend to get anxious if I think I've even barely crossed someone's because mine are crossed so often and I would never want to do that to someone else.
Right off the bat, I really appreciate you starting the video literally describing the tangible signs of BOTH green flag and red flag experiences. So many content creators use these effed up abusive type scenarios for the views without acknowledging the realities. As someone who grew up abused, it was really hard for me to learn what healthy or green flag relationships look like. There was so much information about what I was doing wrong and who I should be avoiding, but not so much about how to do it right or the signs someone is a safe person. You keep proving to me that you are a person I want to support with my viewership. Thanks for keeping it real, in the most genuine sense.
I had a blind date early in my dating life years ago that told me on our first date that I was going to marry him and I had no say about it. Yeah right that wasn't going to happen, and I told him so. I guess he didn't believe me for a long time because he kept calling me for over a year to talk to me and I would sometimes pretend who he was. I had to pretend I was still engaged to this one guy I had dated after him even though we had broken up in order to get him to finally leave me alone. 10 years later I met the man I would finally marry. We've been married for 33 years.
Sooo.... #2 is seeing a therapist? Hm. Well. Maybe they need to focus on therapy and get off the dating apps for a bit, because this sister is more unstable than kittens learning how to walk on a pond of Jell-O.
I think she shoehorned therapy into the convo for when he inevitably said “you’re crazy!” Then she could say, “Wow! You really hate people with mental illness huh?” Psychopaths 🤦🏼♀️
I hear you loud and clear on that! My ex, would get angry at me when I would want time to myself. Even if I wore makeup and dressed nicer than normal, he would get mad.
@@crystalizeddreamer6272 as a guy my biggest fear is hurting someone i love. i never want to turn into these people that i see on these videos id rather die.
oh wow that thing about the good morning text really rings a bell lol. it was over a longer period of time, but I had a “friend” (who secretly had feelings for me) who would get upset with me if I didn’t text him as soon as I woke up. he once DMed me angry I was “ignoring” him when I was actively in a discord call with him and a mutual friend. that all ended when said friend asked me out and he lost it, lying to the friend that he and I were already in a relationship while simultaneously lying to me that he didn’t have feelings for me. in the end, after I told him I needed to step back from our friendship to focus on my last few months of college, he blamed me for his “death” (he was fine) and told me I’D lovebombed HIM. those small things really ramp up.
My ex always used to threaten to kill himself if I left or did this or that. It just got to the point where I couldn't deal anymore... I left. I didn't answer the phone. He really did it... Could have been both of us I think. Love bombing can be fatal.
I feel that conversing over the internet or text has stunted people's ability to even start a regular conversation, nevermind a relationship. If we were talking to people in person mote often, half of these people would not be able to say most of this stuff to our face.
i think it's more dating apps in particular and the short lived conversations on there... you only have a few messages before someone will lose interest so you have to dial the manipulation up to 11
IDK, I had a couple of guys do this in person. first was on a first date and freaked me out so bad I made up a reason to leave then blocked him (have long since started to give out google numbers attached to a new google account instead of a real phone number to protect myself). The second one I was not even on a date, I was looking at an apartment to rent. the LAND LORD started with this @#$ and I just kind of went well.. I need to think about it.. very scary situation!
Love bombing can be (should I say is?) a lot more subtle than this. It can look normal and something that make us feel good about ourselves, particularly if we've been deprived from attention and affection. The problem is that it's nothing but a tactic, a mean to an end. Once the goal is met, the lovebombing stops. That's why many women only find out how bad things can be after the mariage, sometimes in their wedding night.
@lachlanmclennan2188 it's not. However, in my language, gender is determined by the number of the majority. In this case, women. I refer to cats as "he", though the English language goes with "she" or "it".
Yup. If someone feels too good to be true, they usually are. If they start planning for the future on the first few dates (not talking about, but planning), run. "We should travel to this place together!" "I think we'll be married some day." "Our kids will look so cute." etc.
It took me 10 years to admit to my partner that I felt like he was my soulmate, even though I felt it to the day we met. When I told him 10 years later he let out this massive sigh of relief, and said the exact same thing back to me. Sometimes you just know, but saying so too early can ruin everything.
@Anonymous-qe5mp yeah thanks problematic, I'm just saying that soulmates do sometimes happen ( which is honestly something I was incredibly sceptical about before it happened to me, lol)
@@LazyLampshade ok so please bare in mind this is just my experience but essentially, when I met my partner, literally when we met, it was like we'd known eachother for YEARS. We were both overcome with this feeling like a missing jigsaw piece in ourselves had just been filled, we could talk to eachother so naturally, there were no games, I wasn't just attracted to him it was like we were magnets for eachother. It helps that we come from a very small country, he's 3 years older than me so despite going to school together we never met back then. I didn't know if you're into personality typing but he's ISFJ and I'm ISTP. I appreciate that he does practically everything I say, he appreciates that I give clear instructions and never expect him to infer what I mean because I just tell him exactly what I mean. There was a big realisation about 4 and a half years in that part of why we mesh so well is because we both have autism and ADHD (diagnosed), neither of us are particularly emotional either as we've developed pretty solution-oriented personalities through our upbringing. Honestly the best way to describe it is when we both met, it felt like re-meeting ourselves, in the best way. Some other details that make life with your soulmate even more pleasurable; 1. We don't have kids, nothing stresses people out like having kids, neither of us want them and both of us were clear about that from the get go. 2. We don't go to bed angry, any conflicts are resolved before bedtime. 3. We never expect each other to guess (look up guess culture vs ask culture) 4. We tell each other how much we love each other every couple of hours just because it's so fun 🥰😋 5. Neither of us are on social media, we can't be bothered with it and honestly can't even see the appeal. 6. We don't judge each other, we are not bothered by corn usage 7. We spend most of our time sitting together either watching TV or gaming 8. We don't beat each other or ourselves up for our mistakes I can give you more information if you want to know anything specific but honestly I can't explain it better than "soulmates" because I don't think there's another term for that feeling of finally finding something you didn't even know you were missing 🤷🏻♀️
@@LazyLampshade ok so please bare in mind this is just my experience but essentially, when I met my partner, literally when we met, it was like we'd known eachother for YEARS. We were both overcome with this feeling like a missing jigsaw piece in ourselves had just been filled, we could talk to eachother so naturally, there were no games, I wasn't just attracted to him it was like we were magnets for eachother. It helps that we come from a very small country, he's 3 years older than me so despite going to school together we never met back then. I didn't know if you're into personality typing but he's ISFJ and I'm ISTP. I appreciate that he does practically everything I say, he appreciates that I give clear instructions and never expect him to infer what I mean because I just tell him exactly what I mean. There was a big realisation about 4 and a half years in that part of why we mesh so well is because we both have autism and ADHD (diagnosed), neither of us are particularly emotional either as we've developed pretty solution-oriented personalities through our upbringing. Honestly the best way to describe it is when we both met, it felt like re-meeting ourselves, in the best way. Some other details that make life with your soulmate even more pleasurable; 1. We don't have kids, nothing stresses people out like having kids, neither of us want them and both of us were clear about that from the get go. 2. We don't go to bed angry, any conflicts are resolved before bedtime. 3. We never expect each other to guess (look up guess culture vs ask culture) 4. We tell each other how much we love each other every couple of hours just because it's so fun 🥰😋 5. Neither of us are on social media, we can't be bothered with it and honestly can't even see the appeal. 6. We don't judge each other, we are not bothered by corn usage 7. We spend most of our time sitting together either watching TV or gaming 8. We don't beat each other or ourselves up for our mistakes I can give you more information if you want to know anything specific but honestly I can't explain it better than "soulmates" because I don't think there's another term for that feeling of finally finding something you didn't even know you were missing 🤷🏻♀️
It just shows immediately that they're not in reality. I briefly dated a lovebombing avoidant who said stuff like this. Didn't take too long before he started distancing himself, treating me like trash, and eventually ghosting me. They try to force their way into your heart, and then when they have what they want (or get scared by it), they torch the place.
bs, " i have a special feeling about you" not manipulative at all, yall crazy, what a sad world we live in, cant give compliments without it being bad, no wonder guys are moving over seas for love.
@@Mufasa7777Ik I feel like I’m going crazy reading these comments. People think in black and white so much these days that they think anyone who hurts them is a manipulative abuser that was planning to hurt them from the beginning and has orchestrated a whole attack for months just to get to them.
A true empath is a deeply traumatized person with acute hypervigilance. I wish people online would stop acting like it is an super power. It’s just a sign of trauma and codependency.
I had one singular partner in college. I told him at the start of the relationship that I might need a day to myself every once in a while (to chill (for mental health) or schoolwork or whatever). I would text him in the morning so he would know and wouldn't need to he concerned or anything if I didn't respond. I might respond if he texts, but probably wouldn't until that night or the following day. The first time it happened, he texted me over ten times more in that day than he ever did before, making it clear he expected me to respond. He was *surprised* when I broke up with him before the day was over. Like, dude. It was a single day. Good god.
Have you heard of avoidant attachment style? Just saying because ten texts wouldn’t bother me. Now if I had specifically made it clear I did not want the person to text me at all, any texts would bother me. You basically said you just might not respond. But also not sure about the content of the messages, because it sounds like they were controlling if they “made it clear” he expected you to text back… although that sounds subjective since you did not share a direct quote. Attempts to control would also merit de-escalation of the relationship for me. Just bringing all this to your attention from objective observation, because it might be a good idea to set clearer boundaries for your mental health days in the future with partners if their behavior towards you on those days has the potential to make you uncomfortable enough to end things. Them being surprised at your decision says that they may not have fully understood the unspoken rules or agreements you thought you had with them for these days. Obviously ten texts was too much (for some people it’s not enough). And the anxious attachment style was not compatible with you. It is a red flag and a possible insecurity on their part to continue texting without responses, but I’m misunderstanding why breaking up was the calmest conflict resolution path? Again tho, without the messages in front of me it’s all just a bunch of presumption and speculation. But your attachment style sounds like it could be avoidant, so it just feels important to point that out, based on the information you shared about your reaction to relatively mild stimuli (from my perspective). Without a follow up conversation to double check your previous communication, it is hard to know whether or not they even understood what you expected of them. Putting myself in those bewildered shoes, I would’ve felt blindsided by a breakup as well. Very valid to be surprised at the sudden change, without clear, previously communicated relationship agreements being broken. This gets easier when you find someone who just gets it, so you need to communicate less. Fingers crossed you find someone like that. 🤞
@@tommyverstraete5678 While I do appreciate all the information and your well thought out reply, I can assure you based on the way he spoke in texts he was well aware of what he was doing. I even spoke with someone else at the time to confirm I wasn't being dramatic or over reacting. Also, just for clarity, his surprise over the break up wasn't that it came out of nowhere. He was surprised because, when I had reminded him that I needed the day off, he kept insisting it was fine and I just needed to answer his questions (which to be completely honest, were inane and not at all urgent). This is all an oversimplified version of what happened over several hours, as there's more to the story. I just didn't really want to share more at the time. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
@@tommyverstraete5678 Op didn’t say ten texts, they said ten times as many texts as a regular day. And yes this sounds like a classic anxious-avoidant dynamic, but that doesn’t mean breaking up was a bad idea. It sounds like it was towards the beginning of the relationship, so no one was too committed (except maybe the anxious partner, but don’t worry, they’ll get extremely committed to the next person they hook up with within an hour of meeting them) and as far as boundaries go, op made their boundaries very clear initially, that they’re going to need a day to themselves every now and then. By clearly disregarding that and texting that entire day and expecting texts back and presumably getting pretty upset that they weren’t texting back, I think this partner showed a clear lack of respect for op’s boundaries. Seeing as this was a new relationship, and this seems like the first real test of it (not test as in I’m testing you, but test as in real life test, is this going to work or not), op’s partner failed miserably, and breaking up was absolutely the right call. No hate for the partner, hope they find someone that works for them, but that relationship was doomed from the start, and props to op for being smart enough to recognize that. Having an avoidant attachment style is not a big deal; you can have a perfectly healthy sense of self and have avoidant tendencies. So long as you are self aware enough to know what those are and communicate them, the way op did by saying ahead of time that they’ll need a day to themselves every now and then, and so long as your partner is emotionally mature enough to understand that and work with that, relationships can and do work out perfectly well. My advice to any avoidant attachment style people out there is to try to avoid (🙃) getting into a relationship with someone with an anxious attachment style, and look instead for other people with an avoidant attachment style, or with a healthy attachment style, if they exist. (PS: “people with an avoidant attachment style” is a mouthful, but I dislike calling people “anxious” or “avoidant”, as if what their attachment style is defines them. People are a lot more complex than that.)
I didn't know what it was at the time, but afew years ago, a guy I was talking to on a dating app did this, saying things like he felt a soul-deep connection with me, saying how he couldn't wait to hold and kiss me etc etc when we'd only talked on the phone a couple times and never even met in person. I generally have good instincts about people, so I immediately saw the red flags. I told him that made me uncomfortable, and he got sooo offended. I eventually had to just block him cuz he wouldn't stop texting and calling. Luckily, right after that I met my current boyfriend, who is wonderful!
The only exception is if there's a legit emergency. I get it that you want to run to someone that you feel a level of trust with if you suddenly find yourself watching a parent/sibling/child dying or almost so. You're not looking for a response really at that point. You are just screaming into the void. But I would hope that the person you send a wall of text to is a close friend or have been dating for a bit and not a new date.
Oh fuck, you just reminded me I got one yesterday while I was poll working. I just said "no time to even skim, just keep yourself safe" cause I know they've been on the edge before. I've also sent walls of text but only to peeps who tell me they don't mind. And since I use discord most, if it's vent heavy, I also spoiler it so they can choose to view it when in good headspace Anyway, gonna go look at that message and hope it's not as bad as I'm suddenly worried it could be (Said person has also mentioned they have a crush on me for the same generic reasons. And we met in group therapy. I offered to be friends cause thought they were chill but ohboy hope I don't get a repeat of "friendship" for the nth time....) Lol. And now this comment is a text wall. Anyway stay safe y'all
I would take it one step further; someone who you just spoke for the first time and proceeds to contact you while they know you are at work, is a huge red flag.
@@deltaflute03Yeah, no shit, Captain Obvious. It's so weird when people feel the need to go "yeah, but..." when anyone with half a brain already knows the obvious exceptions to whatever they are "yeah but"-ing. It's yapping simply to yap. Or, perhaps maybe you just assume that your takes are soooooo brilliant and unique and everyone is on tenterhooks waiting for the galaxy brained genius to explain everything to them? Next time, ask yourself... "Will anyone and everyone with comment sense already know what I'm about to tell them?" If the answer is yes, then hush. If the answer is no, you're wrong and still hush.
So.... Found out he didn't vote at all 🙃 Like, im sorry, but i see how his shit ex was able to manipulate him... Fun extra BS I've dealt with unrelated to this, but why i had "friendship" in quotes in my last comment Also relates to the vid way more cause, yeah. This person did those text walls of groveling for apologies and then anime villain speak in the next Last time I tried to be a friend that stuck around to try and be a decent influence... They went and stalked my friend and his streamer boss It's so hard when you try and see the good in people and their potential, but then they do this kinda shit....
"Empaths" yeah, I'm an empath too. I also have BPD. Her responses were so BPD coded it hurts, the hot and cold, the sudden split when he expresses that the feelings that she had for him weren't returned, etc.
It's the way people (guys in my experience) will suddenly profess their love and ask you to marry them that always freaked me out about online dating. It was even worse when they would declare that I'd have their baby when I've always put in profiles that I will not be having kids. It's so obvious they didn't read the profile. I don't date any more and honestly I'm so asocial I'm one step from being a hermit. 😅
usually in my experience teenagers do that .. its was not out of malice intent but umm naivety but its more of a misunderstanding of romance offness ,when you're 20 and up, there's no excuses anymore.
It goes the other direction too. I put on my profile that I do want kids and I keep getting messages from guys that say they don't have kids and never want kids; and these are guys in their 30's and 40's. There are some guys out there that figure it doesn't matter what's on the woman's profile because if anything conflicts with what the man wants then she'll just have to change it to suit him. Far more common are the ones that don't bother reading profiles at all because they just go down the list, click one after another, stay on there just long enough to send out the same cut-and-paste message before moving on to the next one, and then pursue whatever happens to bounce back.
lovebombing is such a bad term. it implies the victim is being showered with love. truth iss they're being abused from the very first moment by a mentally ill person.
It's more them presenting as the perfect person you're number one and shower you with affections. Then one day after your comfortable and they have you they flip the script and become monsters!!
The supposed arguing over "who's prettier" never happened. That was him fishing for compliments from her. Also, I'm betting that English isn't his 1st language & he's not from America/UK or any other English-speaking country.
dude english is my 4th language and i only started learning it when i was an adult... that's not an excuse for this incoherent bullshit... english is a super simple language to learn... not only because it's a very simplistic language but also because you get bombed with english everywhere and you have every resource in the world to practice it... my first language is mongolian... try finding someone to speak mongolian with
As someone diagnosed with BPD I found myself on both ends: giving & receiving love bombing, plus the lashing out. Interesting clip. Not sure how I feel about this. My therapist will hear of it 😅
I have two friends who were diagnosed with BOD too, and yep. They have done this, even with friendships, not just romantic relationships. It was difficult to be their friend sometimes, but I know they couldn't really help the way their brain was wired, so I stuck with them both. Still friends to this day, but have definitely had rough patches.
Yeah... as someone diagnosed with BPD myself, was both ashamed and amazed at seeing the "love bombing/lashing out" cycle in myself. I'm working on it, slowly but surely, and oh you betcha my therapist is hearing this one next sesh.
Hello my fellow BPD diagnosee! I would bring up with your therapist how to recognize and cope when those feelings come up. It's a hard pill to swallow to realize you're hurting people you genuinely love. Took about 2 years of solid therapy to work out the issues that brought on my BPD, and recognize when I was being abusive; then continuous ongoing work to not fall back into those habits. It's not easy friend, a lot self-hatred I had to work through when the realization came. BUT we are NOT lost causes, we love fiercely and our loyalty to our partners can be just as fierce. It's just working on "how to make [our] partners feel safe and loved, even when [we've] perceived some sort of abandonment or wrong-doing." I had to work really hard on how to differentiate when my partner was actually being insensitive (which he did have to work on as well), and when his "tone" just rubbed me the wrong way; in both cases I still needed go work not being so reactive lol. It's a long road, but it's not impossible, sending support and love! ❤
The difference between you and the people in this video is that you're actively working on yourself! You can't do anything about the hand you're given, which is why no one should be talked down upon just because they have BPD (or any other personality disorder really). However what you can control is how you play that hand. These people refuse to see that. Hope you have a wonderful life man
Yep, for sure sounds like untreated BPD for both posts. It's important to know while it's never your fault that you were born this way, it is your responsibility to limit your harm to other people. (Really this is true for all people)
Oh run. Run run run. This makes me feel ill. Im old and have dealt with too many people like this over the years. I used to worry about being polite and not hurting people and didn't put myself first.. now .. if i see this, no. Just no. Be gone. Blocked. Deleted. Denied.
I feel the same. One thing I've painfully learned over the years is that the people you are so worried about not hurting (to the point that you will even suppress your own boundaries), will have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM to hurt you if it becomes suitable to them. They will not reciprocate your worries about being polite and kind and not hurtful. So, don't step on yourself trying to be gentle to others at the cost of your own well-being and safety.
I disappointed a guy on a meet up (won't call it a date), and the FIRST THING he went with was "I lowered my standards to meet with you....." I literally laughed out loud, recognizing that as a manipulation tactic. THEN he said I would regret it, and sent me a bunch of pictures of his supposed 'hot' muscle cars. THEN tried to make me jealous by saying he had a date the next day. I was driving at the time, and he was going on and on. Uff da! "Thanks for reinforcing my belief that I made the right decision, dude. "
Funny thing about love bombing: people always talk about it in the context of romance, but it happens in other situations as well. My mother complimented me for the first time when I was _42,_ after realizing I made more than my brothers. Ever since, any conversation lasting more than two lines gets a compliment. They're always illogical; for example I do something kind and she tells me "you're so pretty". I've also seen managers do that with a team-member after suddenly realized that person was damn good at their job.
The last woman is just straight crazy. I see myself as pretty empathic and even if I feel very strongly very fast I would never expect anyone to feel the same, because, you know, I am empathic. An Empath should sense how other people feel, thats the essence of beeing empathic!
Talking about stars, past lives, and things not tangible (Angel numbers, signs, soulmates, etc) is a huge red flag. It takes away a sense of consent from the person being pursued as if the pursuer has given themselves permission without regard to the target of attention. "I can do this whether you like it or not because I have feelings justified by something that can neither be proven or disproven, therefore if you disagree/ don't believe you are disrespectful."
I had someone do this to me. He would send me videos that "matched" what was going on with us. Eventually, it ended up with me threatening him with a restraining order. You are spot on.
Those aren't necessarily red flags. If the two meet at some kind of star alignment convention or something then it's appropriate because they both share the same interests. But when they meet a good old boy from Texas when they met at a barbecue joint then yeah. I would consider that a red flag. You got to know someone pretty well before you start divulging the weird side of your personality. 😆
@shawnycoffman ummmm... Nooooooo... I love astrology. Using interests as an aspect of manipulation beyond one's own will and volition, regardless of where they met, is toxic.
@@52cardsFacedown Okay so while you're correct I think there's a miscommunication here. shawny is saying that immediately talking about an INTEREST in things like astrology, signs, angel numbers etc isn't necessarily a red flag, and I agree with that, but using them as you said (as a way to justify removing consent and agency from someone due to an invisible fatalist force that cant be disproven) is always 1000% wrong. TAKING AN INTEREST in things like astrology for yourself and using them for your own agency is fine, and as you said USING THEM AS AN ASPECT OF MANIPULATION is horrible and NEVER fine.
@@shawnycoffman I didn't go into too much detail, but I assure you, this guy used this type of similar interest for control. He took something fun like astrology and turned it on me. I agree it can be something nice to talk about. It just wasn't in my case. I got love bombed, manipulated, etc., by a narcissist. I really did have to contact an agency for assistance because he would not leave me alone after I kept blocking him.
Had this happen to me, by 2 weeks I was convinced we were supposed to be together. Until my friends stepped in and said WTF girl, wake up the guys a nutter! He targeted vulnerable women and would try to convince them to pay for his life style and dragged his kids into it. So freaking scary.
This guy flash forwarded thru an entire relationship in his mind: first meeting -- infatuation -- love -- fights -- relationship breakdown -- end. With almost ZERO input from the other person. I have met this guy -- there are lots of this guy out there -- and they are terrifying. There's no right response if they are fixated on you.
I was dating a guy for a bit and we'd already met each others' kids. I began to notice that every time I talked about my life, he created some kind of topic changing distraction. At first, I thought coincidence, but eventually painfully obvious. so I started pulling back, and eventually tried to have the talk. He said he wasn't interested in my work, my house, or my kids. But he loved me so much......I laughed and said 'what is it that you love?! You're not interested in any part of my life!" He asked if we could meet 'halfway', whatever that meant. I said it was too late for that, and that was that.
Wow! I think the woman in the second scenario is someone I used to work with! She once had a half hour conversation with a man in a parking lot at a Renaissance Faire and decided it was love and they were going to be moving in together immediately based on both liking Ren Faire and each owning a cat. Another time she matched up with a guy on a dating app and after a brief exchange, she was "in love" and she'd marked him in her mind as "hers". She stalked him on the app and became enraged when she saw him still on the app after they'd said "Good night" and agreed to talk the next day. She immediately began to chastise him! And let's just say by noon of the next day she was in tears because "it was over". No amount of trying to explain that there wasn't anything to be over because nothing had ever started got through to her. So sad, because she could be fun and was very loyal to people she liked. She just didn't give those people much breathing space.
It hurts knowing that a lot of these people are just people who have BPD and usually don't know it. I don't know how it is from the male perspective, but I personally have it and I just know that the girl was feeling everything at 100 with the guy. She 100% believed he might be her soulmate. Absolutely she was devastated that following morning. I hope her therapy works and she's able to continue growing past the pain and find coping and communication skills that work for her. It is an intense roller-coaster for everyone involved, even moreso when the person with BPD is unaware or unwilling to make the necessary effort.
@DustinPoynterVideos I love your content so much! It's funny, sweet and not egotistical. My friend and I now grumble-scream tiptoe through the tulips at each other and I'm forever grateful. Get honey roasted, guy!
That lady, 'You prioritise your boss over me', getting the shits because they didn't message first thing, ABSOLUTELY DANGEROUS, she is LoOneY TuNeS I can't stress this enough; if you meet someone like this, Run run run as fast as you can the other way. Seriously emotionally abusive and probably physically too ,as this type justify everything because of how they 'feel'. I can believe she made it to the age to be able to date without a warning sign tattooed onto her forehead. Dangerous Do Not Approach!
For real, expecting someone to prioritize you over their JOB is insane. Especially over a good morning text to someone you BARELY KNOW! Absolutely loony.
The use of "You're my kryptonite" is so funny. Pretty sure Superman doesn't feel love when he's exposed to Kryptonite. He feels radiation poisoning and near death. Saying "you're my kryptonite" should be a sign that the relationship is DEEPLY toxic lol
THANK YOU so much for making this video. I was locked in a room for 14 years and abused/tortured by my mother (not allowed to eat or drink water, sleep, go to school, talk to anyone, or interact with the outside world in any way other than the numerous hospital visits from the abuse). Because of this I never understood that this stuff were red flags, so I ended up spending YEARS dealing with people exactly like this and I never understood why I kept meeting people who would only abuse me further. I’m still trying to learn what is normal socially/how to human basically lol but I really appreciate you putting this content out because it is already so helpful; and could protect a lot of others from ending up in abusive/controlling (or even potentially dangerous relationships). ❤
@Texaslife98 I am so very sorry for the horrific trauma and abuse you suffered by your mother. You are much stronger than you realize. Sending prayers and blessings to you on your journey to healing from your past 🙏🙌 ❤️
Was listening to some heavy metal the other night and my ex (stuck in the lease) actually said, "so it's okay for them to yell and scream at you, but when I do it it's a problem?" I told him that attitude is why his dad left him and now I'm a b**ch😂😂😂
That's like comparing apples to oranges, completely ingnoring all the other differences and focusing on one or two similarities and saying its the same thing which is a logical fallacy.
@PizzaAnnihilator apples and oranges can be compared. Also, no it's not. He's abusive and entitled, which quips at his inability to sustain proper relationships. Also, comparing similarities is a necessity when discussing the outcome. Example: Apples and oranges are different, but are both fruit, thus can be classified under the same category. Inquiring why someone won't let you abuse them, but getting upset that they're identifying a personality flaw in you that degrades all important relationships is unhinged. The comparison is valid. Nice try though.
I broke up with my boyfriend today. I'm in college while he just stays home playing roblox all day. We havent seen eachother in almost 2+ years and barely talked. I changed in that time while he remained the same as his highschool self He legit spent the whole break up saying "I can change", "Give me another chance", etc etc No matter what I said those were his answers It started geting ridiculous at some point and I was just repeating myself I'm completly fine rn, I actually feel like a weight as been lifted off my shoulders EDIT: Thanks for the support. To respond to some people, I dont think he had any mental illnesses or traumas. He's had a PC since kindergarten and has admited multiple times that he would stay on the PC all day everyday since then. Even as a kid, he would go super late to bed (like at 23:00 or even midnight) and do things like not brushing his teeth dayly, and I had to tell him to brush them. He also didnt finish highschool. He failed the last year and never went back to finish it. Yes, he still lives with his parentes, but they do nothing about it. Also, I have nothing against people that play videogames, I'm a casual gamer myself and play online with friends or alone everynow and then when I have free time. But of course, I think it's safe to say that my now ex is taking it to the extreme.
According to many M, we W are the ones who are after their ressources and "cant live without them". But so many M proge otherwise. They wont change their narative though. Who are playing professiobal victims here. M or W.
If you reach that point of feeling like you're just repeating yourself, I would disengage from the conversation and tell him to stop contacting you from this point forward. If he continues, that's harassment and I would ignore him unless he really doesn't stop. If he doesn't stop, I'd file a report with the police because odds are, they've done this with other people.
If someone says to you they can change ONLY when you are breaking up with them, i consider it highly disrespectful. Like, what you had the ability to do better all these years but you just never wanted to? That tells me everything I need to know about how they view me.
That second one is veeery BPD coded and could use some therapy yesterday. I was exactly like that before I got the right therapy.. not quite as extreme, but on bad days pretty close. 😅
My goodness. I was long distance with my partner for a few months in the beginning because of the pandemic. We would sometimes go a day without texting. Life happens. My mum was sick, she ended up passing away, he understood. We now live together and have a child. It's about healthy communication and boundaries.
I told my wife I loved her after two months lol I knew it had to be a bad idea but I couldn’t help it. She didn’t say it back for a while, I was her first long term relationship so I understood and didn’t let it get to me. I asked if she wanted me to stop saying it (I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or forced into reciprocating) but she said she liked it and didn’t want me to stop if that’s how I really felt. Eventually when she did say it organically and not just because I would say it, it was literally one of the most beautiful moments of my life. We’ve been together for over a decade now. I wouldn’t recommend others in expressing these feelings so early though haha I just got lucky I didn’t scare the love of my life off because I couldn’t contain what I felt.
honestly love bombing would never work on me because even reading the description of what it is i freaked out! ,if someone all of a sudden started showering me with affection and attention ,i'd get immediatly suspicious and taken aback and certainly not comfortable by any means, EW! *smh*
Unfortunately a lot of lovebombing comes from deep inner insecurity and fear of abandonment. I hope these people find help and heal their inner wounds instead of causing conflict with other people 💔 a lot of the time people speak of narcissists as evil people with no empathy and It’s easy to forget that they are also humans with very insidious trauma; Trauma that also keeps them from admitting that they need help :( My heart goes out to the people with cluster B personality disorders. I hope they can find the strength to take the step and stop the chain of hurt.
"Vulnerability = an opportunity for control" THIS!! Some people will also show a fake vulnerability as a bait to make you show your own vulnerabilities so they can use them. Ignore their own boundaries so they can shove it into your face when you set your own boundaries. Be wary!
First guy will hard-core be a stalker when the crazy, weird, controlling relationship ends. RUN!😱 FAST😱 I love that you are informing people about the differences between a healthy relationship and a dysfunctional one. These kind of things should be taught in school because there is way too much violence going down between couples. Much love to anyone who is trying to escape this kind of situation.😘💕
got lovebombed like three days ago after matching with someone and the warning bells started SCREAMING the moment he started mentioning “auras” and that i was “her for him”.. like bros this will never be normal 😭
I had a guy i was dating tell me off because i went quiet after he was rude/hateful to me. He blew up saying horrible things. If you're a calm person and someone is trying to change that.. RUN ❤
12:55 i HATE the whole empath thing Ive been told by others I am one However saying "Im a empath" Or "i have mental illness " Neither of these things are excuses to then be an asshole, manipulative, or controlling with bad behavior
Thank you for explaining this kind of manipulation. I am extremely lucky to have found love before social media became a thing. I am genuinely worried for my next generation and your videos give me lots to think about. And congrats on the 1 million mark!!
Had a guy like that who got mad cos i never answered his constant call and texting one afternoon, so i pretending i was hoovering upstairs and my fone was on charge 😊😮
I have BPD and used to (and to some extents still) do lovebombing behavior. Going back to my old messages from 3+ years ago before my therapy started, most of my conversations were love bombing. I remember this very specific mindset I would get into, because I would genuinely be enamored with someone, feel inconceivable amounts of happiness whenever they spoke to me, and I wanted that to continue. I would almost feel like I needed the love back despite there being absolutely NO reason for that person to do that, and the slightest amount of rejection meant everything I said was absolute garbage to the person I was talking to, even though I meant every part of it, and so that made it garbage to me to? It's weird looking back at that time period of my life and trying to understand where I was coming from, but sometimes these videos help unpack it more. Sorry if this doesnt make much sense, im high and its late. I want to say i do not promote behavior like that or excuse it, I have a feeling someone might comment "oh so someone being hurt makes it okay to do this" No it doesnt, it is just how some people are led to this behavior, its the only way they learned and can replicate love. I also just wanted to post this so people do remember that the individuals behaving this way ARE also people, they have internal worlds, and can change. It might be a personal anecadote but over my few years in therapy and having semi-consistent partner(s) (short answer: Im poly) that can handle my outbursts, I have gotten better and can communicate when I feel upset without doing the whole "nothing even matters anymore, never talk to me again you backstabbing" yk the cringe shit. Even with that in mind however, rule number 1 is keep YOURSELF safe and sometimes that means being an ass and telling an abusive, toxic idiot to fuck off. (i am saying this as someone who has been the abusive toxic idiot, because it doesnt help us either to have someone feed into our shit) Best thing to do with a lot of people is disengage Tldr; i guess an inside view on one way someone love bombs and the internal world they experience while doing it. some people do this with genuine intention to hurt, some don't (still never makes the behavior okay) And keep yourself safe because the only person you owe anything to is YOURSELF, and dont feed into freaks like these Edit: spelling
I think it's helpful to point out the red flags because it can aid in self-awareness. Listening to the second text I instantly recognized the BPD symptoms of that person because my child has BPD. I don't like seeing people in the comments demonizing or calling them monsters. Those people do not understand BPD or how it impacts the individual. My son has started to call or text me when he has the urge to send these kinds of messages. He will read what he wants to send and ask me how I interpret the text. If I say, Do not send that message it sends this kind of (insert negative) vibe... he puts on the brakes. I rarely have to this for him. He has worked so hard to create self-awareness. I wish you all the best!
12:51 As an empath(or at the very least that's what I've been called before)...wtf man. This is disgusting. If you really were an empath you would've already known he was getting uncomfortable.
There is no evidence to support the idea of "empaths" as a specific type of human or personality. Almost everyone, with exceptions to those with mental disorders like sociopathy and psychopathy, all feel the same range of emotion. Some people are more sensitive, sure, but that comes with adhd and autism, not some weird woo nonsense.
@@vultureculture7707 Yes. The complete absence of empathy is included in the definition of a psychopath. We as humans expect each other to be able to have some level of empathy towards each other, and that if it is not there then something is seriously wrong. Granted, some people are better than others at being in tune with the feelings of those around them, but claiming to part of this unique group of people that have some kind of ability to read other people's emotions the same way that psychics claim to be able to read people's auras is taking it a little to far.
I came from two love-bombers. I used to act like this as a pre-teen/teenager. But, you know what? I grew up and realized my mistakes. People who refuse to grow up are the problem…
The textbook nice guy/girl behaviour in the second story is astounding, it’s like she followed a step by step tutorial… can’t believe how reasonable the guy was throughout all of that.
I was involved in text book love bombing once. It was wild & afterward I felt a sense of surrealness. It only lasted 2 weeks from first meeting online to coming up with a plan to get away from him because I was legitimately scared for my safety. The last day we hung out it's like he knew I was over it because he bought me a ring (like a promise ring) and left his car behind to ride with me so that he would have more time to convince me to stay. Luckily I already knew what love bombing was so I noticed the signs after the 1st week and a half.
The ones where you only been texting for mins and they are all of the sudden in love. They are scammers. I dealt with them online to where i block them as soon as they call me babe, beautiful, etc. Watch the spelling or if it sounds AI generated. Mostly when you look at their profile and it's new. That's a sign. Or if it looks like they share alot from an other page. Keep your eyes open and hearts guarded.
As someone who's love language is gift giving and I can "hyperfixate" on a person when I like them, coming off as lovebombing is one of my worst fears for a new relationship. Because you consume my whole thoughts and everything I see reminds me of you and so Ill want to get you so much. AND as a hopeless romantic using things like soulmate and talking abt starting a family is totally something I would do 😔 {Not asking for sympathy just felt like sharing as it felt appropriate lolsies} Edit: So many of you guys are so so sweet and I wish you all great relationships and well wishes
You shouldn’t blast someone with so many compliments and feelings when you’ve just met them. A few are nice but more can be overwhelming to the recipient. Plus, you barely know each-other to really know if someone is your “soulmate.” Some people have a lot of negative hidden qualities that don’t show up until later in the relationship.
You seem to be aware of how it came come off, which I think is the half the battle; Awareness. Catching feelings quickly is fine (in theory), as long as you aren't immediately confessing that to the person and then blowing up at them if they don't reciprocate, like the people in this video. I'd say check in with your person and make sure they are comfortable with your level of engagement and just be aware that they may be moving much slower or wanting the relationship to move much slower than you. If that doesn't work and either of you are miserable with the pacing, then you're just not compatible and it's probably best to move on.
There’s nothing wrong with experiencing strong affection for someone, but like it’s been stated heavily in the video, it’s about boundaries. Some people DO like intense affection, but other people are more conservative with their feelings and don’t appreciate that much intensity. It’s about reading the room and taking it easy. And also, just talking to the person. Rather than jumping them out of the blue with your feelings or with presents, just ask first. Hey, I saw this thing at the store that reminded me of you, can I send it/give it to you? Hey, I woke up thinking about you, hope you have a great day, etc. Start off small and prod a bit to test out the waters, just don’t be so intense.
As someone who latches on quickly in a relationship I check in CONSTANTLY if I see myself having signals of love bombing me and my boyfriend have talked about it as I’m demi once I’m in a relationship a switch flips and I’m a lovesick fool. I’ll shower with words of affirmation gifts and be constantly texting…. But when I realized this was “love bombing” (and part of the reason 4 out of 6 of my relationships ended in disaster!) I immediately brought it up to my partner. He calmed me down and told me that he enjoys how affectionate I am he doesn’t see it as overwhelming or love bombing… he told me the difference is boundaries. There are good people who are VERY affectionate at the start of a relationship! who pamper and love on and adore their partner. The difference is making sure the person is ok with it or reciprocating. When me and my boyfriend started dating it was like a FOREST-FIRE! he was SUPER affectionate to me and took everything I gave him and gave it back in equal measure if one of us ramped up the other did too if one of us slowed down so did the other. The affection was in pace with us and how we felt. And when I was really fond of something we did and he started to tire of it he told me. And when i wasn’t a fan of playing the games he liked i told him. It was *CLEAR OPEN RECIPROCAL NONFORCED COMUNICATION*
And in relationships that have people who are like wildfires you need to dig the dirt ditches to manage the burn. You need to maintain and communicate and match the energy of your partner not outmatch… unless it’s a game (we had a “I love you more game” eventually I lost and we talked about it) clear open honest communication is the only way to have that kind of whirlwind relationship that “love bombing” projects. If you’re worried about coming off strong talk about it. If you’re worried you will be seen as a red flag, talk about it. Talk about what is and isn’t appropriate for the start of the relationship let them set clear boundaries, let them tell you how much affection they would appreciate and how much is too much and what topics are off the table until you two are out of the honeymoon stage of a relationship. If you aren’t love bombing you won’t overstep, you won’t talk about banned topics, and you have clearly expressed your affection in a way that can properly be reciprocated.
My Hera!! Trying to read his texts is hurting my brain! No punctuation, misspelled words, and the weird laughing ....it's all too much! It's TOO MUCH😵💫 Both of these weirdos need a padded room, for life!!
I worry a lot about if I do love bombing or text too much. I’m an insecure person and also love talking to the folks I like so I’m scared that I come off like person 1 But also I would never send even a fraction of what he did, quantity and content. Soothing my own anxiety at other’s expense lmaoooo
If you're doing it genuinely and just because you sincerely cherish someone that's okay, just be mindful of their boundaries, needs, comfort, and your own intentions and actions. - someone who was in your place.
I'm actually really glad you posted what love bombing is. I've been worried in the past that I do that, because I feel very deeply and sometimes I rush in and I want to spend all my time with a new shiny relationship and I'll tell the person I've been seeing how happy I am to be with them, etc... but I don't do ANY of the stuff that's considered love bombing. And the declarations of happiness are like a week or two after we're exclusive, and I typically start small to gauge their responses xD I feel way better about being an all-in kinda gal knowing that love-bombing is actually kind of a misnomer.
Happened to me.
1. Love bombed
2. Attacked with a large boning knife in my home. Managed to get away.
3. Stalked for months before sentencing.
4. He went to prison.
5. Took me years to do normal stuff like going to the supermarket.
6. Court psychiatrist told me I will always need to keep something on my person to protect myself as I will always remain his target.
Don't underestimate how far this behavior will go.
That’s terrifying, stay safe
@fungi5350 thankyou fungi, I do 🫂
I'm so sorry you went through all that. I hope you are doing well now.
@@Kellendras1 thankyou 🙏 yep I am,
What an awful experience, I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I hope he stays in prison. So proud of you for taking action and taking your power back 💪🏼 You got this!
English is not my first language and I'm not kidding when I tell you that I was today years old when I found out that it's "love bombing" and not "love balming" 😂
Love balming would be the opposite. It would be healing someone who has been hurt by previous relationships with slow, gentle, consistent love. Love that doesn't judge or hurt, that accepts all the scars & thinks they make you beautiful. Love that supports in whatever way you need the most at the time. Love that notices details, signs, hesitations, love that asks questions with genuine interest & accepts boundaries without needing explanation.
Love blaming would be telling your partner 'it's your fault I'm in love with you. You're just too damn awesome.'
The last one is bc my phone kept insisting that's the word I meant to type.
Also, English is weird.
@@lapetitemorte6307 this is beautiful ❤
I’d never considered “love _balming”_ before, but now that you type it, I can see how you could get there. Now I’m questioning myself. It’s bath bomb, right? Not bath balm…. right?!? 😅
Isn’t it funny how you can know the meaning of something, the name of something, but still get it a little wrong? Like, I spent waaaaaaay too long just walking around, living my life, thinking it was “ease dropping” and not _”eaves_dropping.” From the moment I actually saw the word written down, eavesdropping made immediate sense, but I think my own assumptions made sense too. I still had the same definition, I had just imagined a different origin story behind its meaning. 🫣
*Edit to add: and English _is_ my first language, so…. 😬
@@YellaBellaReno Yeah, lol. It just made complete sense to me, why it would be called love balming, I never even thought about it 😆. You hear something all the time and it kind of becomes the "France is bacon" situation. You just accept the way your brain processes it and then you find out years later that your brain was completely wrong 😂
That's because it's an American term and American pronunciation isn't proper English
Most of the time it's impossible to differentiate between 'can; and 'can't' in Muricanese!
😘
When someone whos unhinged like these people go off with, 'Youll never find someone like me again!' I cant help but laugh cause im like, I hope youre right cause you are nuts 🤣
😂😂😂😂👌
Lmaoo my ex yelled that at me while packing his shit and I said "thank God" and he turned red.
He REALLY thought he'd laid out a zinger there and I was like nah man that's the POINT
I would just yell back, "THAT'S THE POINT!!" 😅😂
@@ajjamsen694 you are 1,000% correct 🤣🤣🤣 that is, quite literally, the plan
Me too. I always yell "THANK F++K!"
Gotta love the "you'll never find another like me " line. My ex literally used this one on me when he was drunk after he pulled a gun on me and tried to kick me out of the house that I was paying rent at
I've had one of those too. I sure as hell hoped I'd never find another pos like him. I hope you are doing better now.
@@maevependragon Much better, thank you. I hope you are, too 🙂
@@JordanaVang I'm glad to hear this! I am as well!
well fingers crossed you never find someone like him again
Holy shit, glad you’re doing better now
"You'll never meet someone like me again!" Lady, I've never even met YOU. That's the point 😂
“I hope not.”
Thank God!
I’d say “thank goodness” 😂
The level of unhinged in these conversations is through the roof.
It honestly sounds like someone texting in a manic episode
At this point I consider calling yourself an "empath" a massive red flag.
Yes, some folks are more empathic with people than others, but to a T every single person I've seen call themselves "an empath" seems way more like a narcissist.
Yes. They're not actually empathic, they are calling themselves that to make themselves sound special and different.
A real empath won't announce it that way or behave like that.
Yeeeaaaah the difference between some one saying "I'm pretty empathetic" and "I'm an empath" is huge.
As a deeply empathic person who picks up vibes really well I never introduce myself as an empath or say that I'm an empath. Like, ever. People will either be able to tell those traits from my behavior or not know unless we strike up a conversation about it much later. It's fishy whenever someone starts with that and I usually watch those kind of people jump to crazy incorrect assumptions and be rather selfish. Definitely not the flex they think it is.
The perpetuum victim.
When they say empath i think Narcie bye. 😂😂😂
Empaths don't go touting that like a banner.
the "I never loved you" really gonna hit hard after only knowing her for 24 hours 😔😔😔😔
💔
How will he ever live without her? Tragic 😭
🤣
and not ever meeting in person 😅
😂
I was lovebombed by an ex girlfriend and it was honestly worse than the neglect I got from the following ex. She overdid it with EVERYTHING, from saying we’re soulmates to “I love you” on the first night. She’d leave messages around for me to find like painting her fingernails with letters to texts when I was working or asleep. Then she’d get mad when I wouldn’t respond immediately to them, becoming dry and/or guilt tripping. If I didn’t have my ringer on to respond at all times or if I didn’t give her undivided attention (even around friends and family) she’d drag me out of the place we were and start crying crocodile tears to make me feel bad. The next ex was worse on the opposite scale, neglecting every need I had or would flat out ignore me because of his ADHD. I have a very loving boyfriend now who also has ADHD and I know plenty of people with it. There’s a difference between hyperfixation and intentionally ignoring someone.
You remind me of my first and second husbands. The first was abusive. I swore I would never get involved with a man like him again.
I met his polar opposite. I thought, this is the one! He was awesome...til the day after we said our vows. He became someone else. A mean, angry, controlling guy who had me walking on eggshells. The marriage didn't last a year. I dared to get married once again...and got lucky. We were so happy. We raised a family and made it a priority to treat each other with respect and affection. We set an example for our children, of what a loving couple looks like. After 23 years I was alone again...after being loved so, it would be a miracle to find another good man. I know they're out there. But my instincts are not reliable. I've been celibate for years now, and I may well be for the rest of my days, not because of men, but because there's too many infections going around and I don't want to take a chance with my health.
Damn. Glad you found your person.
@@miapdx503
I’m single of men but not women. I’ll take my chances. XD
I have ASD and can easily get distracted. I always make sure that if people I care about feel sad, I'm there for them. I don't understand people who are mean to their partners if they're supposed to love them. I'm glad you found your person!
Exactly! I have ADHD and so do my girlfriends, I love that they’re super into their interests and they’re super into me
I am so sick and tired of these emotionally bent and broken people, hijacking the terminology of being an empath. A true empath damn well knows boundaries, as we spend most of our life, with people trying to use and abuse ours. This makes us super aware of everyone's boundaries, all of the time.
As a fellow empath I couldn’t have said this better.
As my therapist once told me “the only people that won’t respect your boundaries are those that benefited from you not having them.” As much as I’m aware of other people’s boundaries, I have a hard time making others accept mine.
I totally agree with you. Can I add that empathy is also when you put yourself in the other person's shoes? For example, and adding of what you mentioned, on the 1st case: an empath will respect the class time. 2nd one... so many things going on that is hard to choose one as an example (all the conversation is not empathic whatsoever)... in that one I'm 100% with the guy (blue text) and with Dustin. What is shown there was a person trying to control the other, manipulative and possessive, even delusional.
As another fellow empath, I agree 100%! Not only do we know boundaries, it's like we are hyper-aware of them. I also tend to get anxious if I think I've even barely crossed someone's because mine are crossed so often and I would never want to do that to someone else.
Empaths also aren’t happy about being empaths, shits exhausting
Well said 👏🏻
Right off the bat, I really appreciate you starting the video literally describing the tangible signs of BOTH green flag and red flag experiences. So many content creators use these effed up abusive type scenarios for the views without acknowledging the realities. As someone who grew up abused, it was really hard for me to learn what healthy or green flag relationships look like. There was so much information about what I was doing wrong and who I should be avoiding, but not so much about how to do it right or the signs someone is a safe person. You keep proving to me that you are a person I want to support with my viewership. Thanks for keeping it real, in the most genuine sense.
I had a blind date early in my dating life years ago that told me on our first date that I was going to marry him and I had no say about it. Yeah right that wasn't going to happen, and I told him so. I guess he didn't believe me for a long time because he kept calling me for over a year to talk to me and I would sometimes pretend who he was. I had to pretend I was still engaged to this one guy I had dated after him even though we had broken up in order to get him to finally leave me alone. 10 years later I met the man I would finally marry. We've been married for 33 years.
6:10 “If someone ever says ‘have a nice life’ they will 100% be going to contact you within 30 minutes” 😂
Sooo.... #2 is seeing a therapist? Hm. Well. Maybe they need to focus on therapy and get off the dating apps for a bit, because this sister is more unstable than kittens learning how to walk on a pond of Jell-O.
😅😅why is this funny
@@katewamuyu2465because now you're picturing kittens walking on jello 😂
Which is hilarious
bitch this is so fkn funny I literally hollered omg😂😂🤣 stealing this!
I think she shoehorned therapy into the convo for when he inevitably said “you’re crazy!” Then she could say, “Wow! You really hate people with mental illness huh?” Psychopaths 🤦🏼♀️
Oh man. That guy reminds me of one of my ex's that was extremely controlling and wouldn't give me space even when I asked nicely.
I hear you loud and clear on that! My ex, would get angry at me when I would want time to myself. Even if I wore makeup and dressed nicer than normal, he would get mad.
@crystalizeddreamer6272 Jeez, what is it with guys and boundaries? I tell you, good guys still exist, they're just hard to come by
@@aziraphaleangel-22 Totally agreed! There are good men, and they deserve the world! 💖🫂
@@crystalizeddreamer6272 as a guy my biggest fear is hurting someone i love. i never want to turn into these people that i see on these videos id rather die.
Yup. In fact my inbox looked like this AFTER I asked for space.
oh wow that thing about the good morning text really rings a bell lol. it was over a longer period of time, but I had a “friend” (who secretly had feelings for me) who would get upset with me if I didn’t text him as soon as I woke up. he once DMed me angry I was “ignoring” him when I was actively in a discord call with him and a mutual friend.
that all ended when said friend asked me out and he lost it, lying to the friend that he and I were already in a relationship while simultaneously lying to me that he didn’t have feelings for me. in the end, after I told him I needed to step back from our friendship to focus on my last few months of college, he blamed me for his “death” (he was fine) and told me I’D lovebombed HIM.
those small things really ramp up.
Ohhh threatening suicide when you don't reciprocate their interest... totally normal and healthy behavior
A "Good morning" text? Nah, can never have a "good" morning when these kind of people wake up on the wrong side of the bed every dang day
@@LoFiAxolotl...It has Cluster B Personality Disorder written all over it😬.
@@malwads1836 This some Baader-Meinhof type shit because I’m seeing Cluster B everywhere today
My ex always used to threaten to kill himself if I left or did this or that. It just got to the point where I couldn't deal anymore... I left. I didn't answer the phone. He really did it... Could have been both of us I think. Love bombing can be fatal.
I feel that conversing over the internet or text has stunted people's ability to even start a regular conversation, nevermind a relationship. If we were talking to people in person mote often, half of these people would not be able to say most of this stuff to our face.
i think it's more dating apps in particular and the short lived conversations on there... you only have a few messages before someone will lose interest so you have to dial the manipulation up to 11
IDK, I had a couple of guys do this in person. first was on a first date and freaked me out so bad I made up a reason to leave then blocked him (have long since started to give out google numbers attached to a new google account instead of a real phone number to protect myself). The second one I was not even on a date, I was looking at an apartment to rent. the LAND LORD started with this @#$ and I just kind of went well.. I need to think about it.. very scary situation!
Yes. True. I really do feel this way.
Love bombing can be (should I say is?) a lot more subtle than this. It can look normal and something that make us feel good about ourselves, particularly if we've been deprived from attention and affection. The problem is that it's nothing but a tactic, a mean to an end. Once the goal is met, the lovebombing stops. That's why many women only find out how bad things can be after the mariage, sometimes in their wedding night.
Not gender specific pal
@lachlanmclennan2188 it's not. However, in my language, gender is determined by the number of the majority. In this case, women. I refer to cats as "he", though the English language goes with "she" or "it".
Yup. If someone feels too good to be true, they usually are. If they start planning for the future on the first few dates (not talking about, but planning), run. "We should travel to this place together!" "I think we'll be married some day." "Our kids will look so cute." etc.
Which is why divorce should be legal everywhere
It took me 10 years to admit to my partner that I felt like he was my soulmate, even though I felt it to the day we met. When I told him 10 years later he let out this massive sigh of relief, and said the exact same thing back to me. Sometimes you just know, but saying so too early can ruin everything.
Here's the thing tho. They didnt meet. They were just texting for a couple of hours...
@Anonymous-qe5mp yeah thanks problematic, I'm just saying that soulmates do sometimes happen ( which is honestly something I was incredibly sceptical about before it happened to me, lol)
Honestly, I don’t even know what that word means or what it’s meant to imply, maybe you could give me your interpretation?
@@LazyLampshade ok so please bare in mind this is just my experience but essentially, when I met my partner, literally when we met, it was like we'd known eachother for YEARS. We were both overcome with this feeling like a missing jigsaw piece in ourselves had just been filled, we could talk to eachother so naturally, there were no games, I wasn't just attracted to him it was like we were magnets for eachother. It helps that we come from a very small country, he's 3 years older than me so despite going to school together we never met back then. I didn't know if you're into personality typing but he's ISFJ and I'm ISTP. I appreciate that he does practically everything I say, he appreciates that I give clear instructions and never expect him to infer what I mean because I just tell him exactly what I mean. There was a big realisation about 4 and a half years in that part of why we mesh so well is because we both have autism and ADHD (diagnosed), neither of us are particularly emotional either as we've developed pretty solution-oriented personalities through our upbringing.
Honestly the best way to describe it is when we both met, it felt like re-meeting ourselves, in the best way.
Some other details that make life with your soulmate even more pleasurable;
1. We don't have kids, nothing stresses people out like having kids, neither of us want them and both of us were clear about that from the get go.
2. We don't go to bed angry, any conflicts are resolved before bedtime.
3. We never expect each other to guess (look up guess culture vs ask culture)
4. We tell each other how much we love each other every couple of hours just because it's so fun 🥰😋
5. Neither of us are on social media, we can't be bothered with it and honestly can't even see the appeal.
6. We don't judge each other, we are not bothered by corn usage
7. We spend most of our time sitting together either watching TV or gaming
8. We don't beat each other or ourselves up for our mistakes
I can give you more information if you want to know anything specific but honestly I can't explain it better than "soulmates" because I don't think there's another term for that feeling of finally finding something you didn't even know you were missing 🤷🏻♀️
@@LazyLampshade ok so please bare in mind this is just my experience but essentially, when I met my partner, literally when we met, it was like we'd known eachother for YEARS. We were both overcome with this feeling like a missing jigsaw piece in ourselves had just been filled, we could talk to eachother so naturally, there were no games, I wasn't just attracted to him it was like we were magnets for eachother. It helps that we come from a very small country, he's 3 years older than me so despite going to school together we never met back then. I didn't know if you're into personality typing but he's ISFJ and I'm ISTP. I appreciate that he does practically everything I say, he appreciates that I give clear instructions and never expect him to infer what I mean because I just tell him exactly what I mean. There was a big realisation about 4 and a half years in that part of why we mesh so well is because we both have autism and ADHD (diagnosed), neither of us are particularly emotional either as we've developed pretty solution-oriented personalities through our upbringing. Honestly the best way to describe it is when we both met, it felt like re-meeting ourselves, in the best way. Some other details that make life with your soulmate even more pleasurable; 1. We don't have kids, nothing stresses people out like having kids, neither of us want them and both of us were clear about that from the get go. 2. We don't go to bed angry, any conflicts are resolved before bedtime. 3. We never expect each other to guess (look up guess culture vs ask culture) 4. We tell each other how much we love each other every couple of hours just because it's so fun 🥰😋 5. Neither of us are on social media, we can't be bothered with it and honestly can't even see the appeal. 6. We don't judge each other, we are not bothered by corn usage 7. We spend most of our time sitting together either watching TV or gaming 8. We don't beat each other or ourselves up for our mistakes I can give you more information if you want to know anything specific but honestly I can't explain it better than "soulmates" because I don't think there's another term for that feeling of finally finding something you didn't even know you were missing 🤷🏻♀️
What's really sad is there are a lot of inboxes that look like this.
You are not wrong
A "special feeling" about you is so crazy manipulative. If you just let them talk, they can often tell on themselves.
It just shows immediately that they're not in reality. I briefly dated a lovebombing avoidant who said stuff like this. Didn't take too long before he started distancing himself, treating me like trash, and eventually ghosting me. They try to force their way into your heart, and then when they have what they want (or get scared by it), they torch the place.
bs, " i have a special feeling about you" not manipulative at all, yall crazy, what a sad world we live in, cant give compliments without it being bad, no wonder guys are moving over seas for love.
Not sure how that is manipulation
@@Mufasa7777 depends on when that sentence starts to appear imo
@@Mufasa7777Ik I feel like I’m going crazy reading these comments. People think in black and white so much these days that they think anyone who hurts them is a manipulative abuser that was planning to hurt them from the beginning and has orchestrated a whole attack for months just to get to them.
A true empath is a deeply traumatized person with acute hypervigilance. I wish people online would stop acting like it is an super power. It’s just a sign of trauma and codependency.
Not always codependent. I hypervigilant and hyper independent due to childhood trauma.
Especially for women, yes
💯
I had one singular partner in college. I told him at the start of the relationship that I might need a day to myself every once in a while (to chill (for mental health) or schoolwork or whatever). I would text him in the morning so he would know and wouldn't need to he concerned or anything if I didn't respond. I might respond if he texts, but probably wouldn't until that night or the following day.
The first time it happened, he texted me over ten times more in that day than he ever did before, making it clear he expected me to respond. He was *surprised* when I broke up with him before the day was over.
Like, dude. It was a single day. Good god.
😭
Have you heard of avoidant attachment style? Just saying because ten texts wouldn’t bother me. Now if I had specifically made it clear I did not want the person to text me at all, any texts would bother me. You basically said you just might not respond.
But also not sure about the content of the messages, because it sounds like they were controlling if they “made it clear” he expected you to text back… although that sounds subjective since you did not share a direct quote. Attempts to control would also merit de-escalation of the relationship for me.
Just bringing all this to your attention from objective observation, because it might be a good idea to set clearer boundaries for your mental health days in the future with partners if their behavior towards you on those days has the potential to make you uncomfortable enough to end things.
Them being surprised at your decision says that they may not have fully understood the unspoken rules or agreements you thought you had with them for these days. Obviously ten texts was too much (for some people it’s not enough). And the anxious attachment style was not compatible with you. It is a red flag and a possible insecurity on their part to continue texting without responses, but I’m misunderstanding why breaking up was the calmest conflict resolution path?
Again tho, without the messages in front of me it’s all just a bunch of presumption and speculation. But your attachment style sounds like it could be avoidant, so it just feels important to point that out, based on the information you shared about your reaction to relatively mild stimuli (from my perspective).
Without a follow up conversation to double check your previous communication, it is hard to know whether or not they even understood what you expected of them. Putting myself in those bewildered shoes, I would’ve felt blindsided by a breakup as well. Very valid to be surprised at the sudden change, without clear, previously communicated relationship agreements being broken.
This gets easier when you find someone who just gets it, so you need to communicate less. Fingers crossed you find someone like that. 🤞
@@tommyverstraete5678
While I do appreciate all the information and your well thought out reply, I can assure you based on the way he spoke in texts he was well aware of what he was doing. I even spoke with someone else at the time to confirm I wasn't being dramatic or over reacting.
Also, just for clarity, his surprise over the break up wasn't that it came out of nowhere. He was surprised because, when I had reminded him that I needed the day off, he kept insisting it was fine and I just needed to answer his questions (which to be completely honest, were inane and not at all urgent).
This is all an oversimplified version of what happened over several hours, as there's more to the story. I just didn't really want to share more at the time. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
@@tommyverstraete5678 Op didn’t say ten texts, they said ten times as many texts as a regular day. And yes this sounds like a classic anxious-avoidant dynamic, but that doesn’t mean breaking up was a bad idea. It sounds like it was towards the beginning of the relationship, so no one was too committed (except maybe the anxious partner, but don’t worry, they’ll get extremely committed to the next person they hook up with within an hour of meeting them) and as far as boundaries go, op made their boundaries very clear initially, that they’re going to need a day to themselves every now and then. By clearly disregarding that and texting that entire day and expecting texts back and presumably getting pretty upset that they weren’t texting back, I think this partner showed a clear lack of respect for op’s boundaries. Seeing as this was a new relationship, and this seems like the first real test of it (not test as in I’m testing you, but test as in real life test, is this going to work or not), op’s partner failed miserably, and breaking up was absolutely the right call. No hate for the partner, hope they find someone that works for them, but that relationship was doomed from the start, and props to op for being smart enough to recognize that.
Having an avoidant attachment style is not a big deal; you can have a perfectly healthy sense of self and have avoidant tendencies. So long as you are self aware enough to know what those are and communicate them, the way op did by saying ahead of time that they’ll need a day to themselves every now and then, and so long as your partner is emotionally mature enough to understand that and work with that, relationships can and do work out perfectly well.
My advice to any avoidant attachment style people out there is to try to avoid (🙃) getting into a relationship with someone with an anxious attachment style, and look instead for other people with an avoidant attachment style, or with a healthy attachment style, if they exist.
(PS: “people with an avoidant attachment style” is a mouthful, but I dislike calling people “anxious” or “avoidant”, as if what their attachment style is defines them. People are a lot more complex than that.)
I didn't know what it was at the time, but afew years ago, a guy I was talking to on a dating app did this, saying things like he felt a soul-deep connection with me, saying how he couldn't wait to hold and kiss me etc etc when we'd only talked on the phone a couple times and never even met in person. I generally have good instincts about people, so I immediately saw the red flags. I
told him that made me uncomfortable, and he got sooo offended. I eventually had to just block him cuz he wouldn't stop texting and calling.
Luckily, right after that I met my current boyfriend, who is wonderful!
Any time you tell someone you’re working and what follows is a wall of text, RUN. It never ends well.
The only exception is if there's a legit emergency. I get it that you want to run to someone that you feel a level of trust with if you suddenly find yourself watching a parent/sibling/child dying or almost so. You're not looking for a response really at that point. You are just screaming into the void. But I would hope that the person you send a wall of text to is a close friend or have been dating for a bit and not a new date.
Oh fuck, you just reminded me I got one yesterday while I was poll working.
I just said "no time to even skim, just keep yourself safe" cause I know they've been on the edge before.
I've also sent walls of text but only to peeps who tell me they don't mind. And since I use discord most, if it's vent heavy, I also spoiler it so they can choose to view it when in good headspace
Anyway, gonna go look at that message and hope it's not as bad as I'm suddenly worried it could be
(Said person has also mentioned they have a crush on me for the same generic reasons. And we met in group therapy. I offered to be friends cause thought they were chill but ohboy hope I don't get a repeat of "friendship" for the nth time....)
Lol. And now this comment is a text wall.
Anyway stay safe y'all
I would take it one step further; someone who you just spoke for the first time and proceeds to contact you while they know you are at work, is a huge red flag.
@@deltaflute03Yeah, no shit, Captain Obvious. It's so weird when people feel the need to go "yeah, but..." when anyone with half a brain already knows the obvious exceptions to whatever they are "yeah but"-ing. It's yapping simply to yap. Or, perhaps maybe you just assume that your takes are soooooo brilliant and unique and everyone is on tenterhooks waiting for the galaxy brained genius to explain everything to them? Next time, ask yourself... "Will anyone and everyone with comment sense already know what I'm about to tell them?" If the answer is yes, then hush. If the answer is no, you're wrong and still hush.
So.... Found out he didn't vote at all 🙃
Like, im sorry, but i see how his shit ex was able to manipulate him...
Fun extra BS I've dealt with unrelated to this, but why i had "friendship" in quotes in my last comment
Also relates to the vid way more cause, yeah. This person did those text walls of groveling for apologies and then anime villain speak in the next
Last time I tried to be a friend that stuck around to try and be a decent influence... They went and stalked my friend and his streamer boss
It's so hard when you try and see the good in people and their potential, but then they do this kinda shit....
"Empaths" yeah, I'm an empath too. I also have BPD. Her responses were so BPD coded it hurts, the hot and cold, the sudden split when he expresses that the feelings that she had for him weren't returned, etc.
Yeah I saw that too.
Yep I feel called out lol
It's the way people (guys in my experience) will suddenly profess their love and ask you to marry them that always freaked me out about online dating. It was even worse when they would declare that I'd have their baby when I've always put in profiles that I will not be having kids. It's so obvious they didn't read the profile. I don't date any more and honestly I'm so asocial I'm one step from being a hermit. 😅
usually in my experience teenagers do that .. its was not out of malice intent but umm naivety but its more of a misunderstanding of romance offness ,when you're 20 and up, there's no excuses anymore.
@zannis5441 Oh no, I was talking to people in their mid 20s.
@@amandah2866 i know .. :D
It goes the other direction too. I put on my profile that I do want kids and I keep getting messages from guys that say they don't have kids and never want kids; and these are guys in their 30's and 40's. There are some guys out there that figure it doesn't matter what's on the woman's profile because if anything conflicts with what the man wants then she'll just have to change it to suit him. Far more common are the ones that don't bother reading profiles at all because they just go down the list, click one after another, stay on there just long enough to send out the same cut-and-paste message before moving on to the next one, and then pursue whatever happens to bounce back.
Approaching someone you don’t know well/at all with “I want to get you pregnant” is absolutely unhinged
lovebombing is such a bad term. it implies the victim is being showered with love. truth iss they're being abused from the very first moment by a mentally ill person.
That's why I was so confused when I first heard the term.
Same. I have heard lovebombing but I always thought that it was a positive thing@@KishiKaisei-yp5oj
Affection bombing? Idk what would you call it?
Yep
It's more them presenting as the perfect person you're number one and shower you with affections. Then one day after your comfortable and they have you they flip the script and become monsters!!
The supposed arguing over "who's prettier" never happened. That was him fishing for compliments from her. Also, I'm betting that English isn't his 1st language & he's not from America/UK or any other English-speaking country.
That’s exactly what I thought too. I’ve seen drunk guys act cutesy with each other but he made that up
dude english is my 4th language and i only started learning it when i was an adult... that's not an excuse for this incoherent bullshit... english is a super simple language to learn... not only because it's a very simplistic language but also because you get bombed with english everywhere and you have every resource in the world to practice it... my first language is mongolian... try finding someone to speak mongolian with
@@LoFiAxolotl well dude in the post is an alcoholic obviously his brain isn’t exactly all there
@@LoFiAxolotltry speaking it on the internet with your relatives or try to find people to practice with online
@@qkcum i'm fluent in mongolian... but for people who want to learn the language there's not many resources
ONE MILLION SUBS! congrats Dustin! Thanks for the entertainment and great advice!
As someone diagnosed with BPD I found myself on both ends: giving & receiving love bombing, plus the lashing out. Interesting clip. Not sure how I feel about this. My therapist will hear of it 😅
I have two friends who were diagnosed with BOD too, and yep. They have done this, even with friendships, not just romantic relationships. It was difficult to be their friend sometimes, but I know they couldn't really help the way their brain was wired, so I stuck with them both. Still friends to this day, but have definitely had rough patches.
Yeah... as someone diagnosed with BPD myself, was both ashamed and amazed at seeing the "love bombing/lashing out" cycle in myself. I'm working on it, slowly but surely, and oh you betcha my therapist is hearing this one next sesh.
Hello my fellow BPD diagnosee! I would bring up with your therapist how to recognize and cope when those feelings come up. It's a hard pill to swallow to realize you're hurting people you genuinely love.
Took about 2 years of solid therapy to work out the issues that brought on my BPD, and recognize when I was being abusive; then continuous ongoing work to not fall back into those habits. It's not easy friend, a lot self-hatred I had to work through when the realization came.
BUT we are NOT lost causes, we love fiercely and our loyalty to our partners can be just as fierce. It's just working on "how to make [our] partners feel safe and loved, even when [we've] perceived some sort of abandonment or wrong-doing."
I had to work really hard on how to differentiate when my partner was actually being insensitive (which he did have to work on as well), and when his "tone" just rubbed me the wrong way; in both cases I still needed go work not being so reactive lol. It's a long road, but it's not impossible, sending support and love! ❤
The difference between you and the people in this video is that you're actively working on yourself! You can't do anything about the hand you're given, which is why no one should be talked down upon just because they have BPD (or any other personality disorder really). However what you can control is how you play that hand. These people refuse to see that.
Hope you have a wonderful life man
Yep, for sure sounds like untreated BPD for both posts. It's important to know while it's never your fault that you were born this way, it is your responsibility to limit your harm to other people. (Really this is true for all people)
Oh run. Run run run. This makes me feel ill. Im old and have dealt with too many people like this over the years. I used to worry about being polite and not hurting people and didn't put myself first.. now .. if i see this, no. Just no. Be gone. Blocked. Deleted. Denied.
I feel the same. One thing I've painfully learned over the years is that the people you are so worried about not hurting (to the point that you will even suppress your own boundaries), will have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM to hurt you if it becomes suitable to them. They will not reciprocate your worries about being polite and kind and not hurtful. So, don't step on yourself trying to be gentle to others at the cost of your own well-being and safety.
That "what?.." at 4:17 😂
that was code for "I am a freak, run away while you can"
I disappointed a guy on a meet up (won't call it a date), and the FIRST THING he went with was "I lowered my standards to meet with you....." I literally laughed out loud, recognizing that as a manipulation tactic.
THEN he said I would regret it, and sent me a bunch of pictures of his supposed 'hot' muscle cars. THEN tried to make me jealous by saying he had a date the next day. I was driving at the time, and he was going on and on. Uff da! "Thanks for reinforcing my belief that I made the right decision, dude. "
My god, that second guy handled it like a king!! Can't believe he stayed so respectful towards her.. She lost a gem right there! Crazy ass people 😂
Funny thing about love bombing: people always talk about it in the context of romance, but it happens in other situations as well. My mother complimented me for the first time when I was _42,_ after realizing I made more than my brothers. Ever since, any conversation lasting more than two lines gets a compliment. They're always illogical; for example I do something kind and she tells me "you're so pretty". I've also seen managers do that with a team-member after suddenly realized that person was damn good at their job.
The last woman is just straight crazy. I see myself as pretty empathic and even if I feel very strongly very fast I would never expect anyone to feel the same, because, you know, I am empathic. An Empath should sense how other people feel, thats the essence of beeing empathic!
6:36 I AM EFFERVESCENT
Im snorting bc it’s 5:04 am and everyone is asleep!!!!
2:17 I actually know a lot of people who think Stop signs are suggestions. Those people got pulled over more than once.
Talking about stars, past lives, and things not tangible (Angel numbers, signs, soulmates, etc) is a huge red flag.
It takes away a sense of consent from the person being pursued as if the pursuer has given themselves permission without regard to the target of attention.
"I can do this whether you like it or not because I have feelings justified by something that can neither be proven or disproven, therefore if you disagree/ don't believe you are disrespectful."
I had someone do this to me. He would send me videos that "matched" what was going on with us. Eventually, it ended up with me threatening him with a restraining order. You are spot on.
Those aren't necessarily red flags. If the two meet at some kind of star alignment convention or something then it's appropriate because they both share the same interests. But when they meet a good old boy from Texas when they met at a barbecue joint then yeah. I would consider that a red flag. You got to know someone pretty well before you start divulging the weird side of your personality. 😆
@shawnycoffman ummmm... Nooooooo...
I love astrology. Using interests as an aspect of manipulation beyond one's own will and volition, regardless of where they met, is toxic.
@@52cardsFacedown Okay so while you're correct I think there's a miscommunication here. shawny is saying that immediately talking about an INTEREST in things like astrology, signs, angel numbers etc isn't necessarily a red flag, and I agree with that, but using them as you said (as a way to justify removing consent and agency from someone due to an invisible fatalist force that cant be disproven) is always 1000% wrong. TAKING AN INTEREST in things like astrology for yourself and using them for your own agency is fine, and as you said USING THEM AS AN ASPECT OF MANIPULATION is horrible and NEVER fine.
@@shawnycoffman I didn't go into too much detail, but I assure you, this guy used this type of similar interest for control. He took something fun like astrology and turned it on me. I agree it can be something nice to talk about. It just wasn't in my case. I got love bombed, manipulated, etc., by a narcissist. I really did have to contact an agency for assistance because he would not leave me alone after I kept blocking him.
I think this goes beyond love bombing… this is straight up psycho bombing.
Had this happen to me, by 2 weeks I was convinced we were supposed to be together. Until my friends stepped in and said WTF girl, wake up the guys a nutter! He targeted vulnerable women and would try to convince them to pay for his life style and dragged his kids into it. So freaking scary.
This guy flash forwarded thru an entire relationship in his mind: first meeting -- infatuation -- love -- fights -- relationship breakdown -- end. With almost ZERO input from the other person. I have met this guy -- there are lots of this guy out there -- and they are terrifying. There's no right response if they are fixated on you.
I was dating a guy for a bit and we'd already met each others' kids. I began to notice that every time I talked about my life, he created some kind of topic changing distraction. At first, I thought coincidence, but eventually painfully obvious.
so I started pulling back, and eventually tried to have the talk. He said he wasn't interested in my work, my house, or my kids. But he loved me so much......I laughed and said 'what is it that you love?! You're not interested in any part of my life!" He asked if we could meet 'halfway', whatever that meant. I said it was too late for that, and that was that.
Wow! I think the woman in the second scenario is someone I used to work with! She once had a half hour conversation with a man in a parking lot at a Renaissance Faire and decided it was love and they were going to be moving in together immediately based on both liking Ren Faire and each owning a cat. Another time she matched up with a guy on a dating app and after a brief exchange, she was "in love" and she'd marked him in her mind as "hers". She stalked him on the app and became enraged when she saw him still on the app after they'd said "Good night" and agreed to talk the next day. She immediately began to chastise him! And let's just say by noon of the next day she was in tears because "it was over". No amount of trying to explain that there wasn't anything to be over because nothing had ever started got through to her. So sad, because she could be fun and was very loyal to people she liked. She just didn't give those people much breathing space.
"You will never find someone like me again!"
...that's tha point? 😂 🔴
ONE MILLION ! ! ! Awesome, you so deserve it.
@7:01 “Get off my digital lawn!” 😂
Omg.. that sent me!!😂❤
I went from love bombed to mental breakdown. Those were some very bad years for me. Recovery finally started when I got my PTSD diagnosis.
It hurts knowing that a lot of these people are just people who have BPD and usually don't know it. I don't know how it is from the male perspective, but I personally have it and I just know that the girl was feeling everything at 100 with the guy. She 100% believed he might be her soulmate. Absolutely she was devastated that following morning. I hope her therapy works and she's able to continue growing past the pain and find coping and communication skills that work for her. It is an intense roller-coaster for everyone involved, even moreso when the person with BPD is unaware or unwilling to make the necessary effort.
@DustinPoynterVideos I love your content so much! It's funny, sweet and not egotistical. My friend and I now grumble-scream tiptoe through the tulips at each other and I'm forever grateful. Get honey roasted, guy!
5:01 That is just absolutely creepy and I would have blocked him waaaay before she tells him off
That lady, 'You prioritise your boss over me', getting the shits because they didn't message first thing, ABSOLUTELY DANGEROUS, she is LoOneY TuNeS I can't stress this enough; if you meet someone like this, Run run run as fast as you can the other way. Seriously emotionally abusive and probably physically too ,as this type justify everything because of how they 'feel'. I can believe she made it to the age to be able to date without a warning sign tattooed onto her forehead. Dangerous Do Not Approach!
For real, expecting someone to prioritize you over their JOB is insane. Especially over a good morning text to someone you BARELY KNOW! Absolutely loony.
The use of "You're my kryptonite" is so funny. Pretty sure Superman doesn't feel love when he's exposed to Kryptonite. He feels radiation poisoning and near death. Saying "you're my kryptonite" should be a sign that the relationship is DEEPLY toxic lol
7:52 IS THAT A MINI MICHAEL MYERS FIGURINE?! I love it.
i didnt notice it till you pointed it out, thank you !!
@@MothsGrave absolutely! I am a huge fan, even have a tattoo hahaha
@kyriechandler384 haha nice !! for me its gotta bee ghostface, ive got 2 tattoos for him LOL
i like your list of compatibility traits
THANK YOU so much for making this video. I was locked in a room for 14 years and abused/tortured by my mother (not allowed to eat or drink water, sleep, go to school, talk to anyone, or interact with the outside world in any way other than the numerous hospital visits from the abuse). Because of this I never understood that this stuff were red flags, so I ended up spending YEARS dealing with people exactly like this and I never understood why I kept meeting people who would only abuse me further. I’m still trying to learn what is normal socially/how to human basically lol but I really appreciate you putting this content out because it is already so helpful; and could protect a lot of others from ending up in abusive/controlling (or even potentially dangerous relationships). ❤
@Texaslife98 I am so very sorry for the horrific trauma and abuse you suffered by your mother. You are much stronger than you realize. Sending prayers and blessings to you on your journey to healing from your past 🙏🙌 ❤️
“Nuh uhhh…I’m effervescent!” Lol
Was listening to some heavy metal the other night and my ex (stuck in the lease) actually said, "so it's okay for them to yell and scream at you, but when I do it it's a problem?"
I told him that attitude is why his dad left him and now I'm a b**ch😂😂😂
I wanna say I love you without sounding like a love bomber😂
I probably would have said "Yeah, they don't suck at it."
Ugh I'm so sorry. I've been there. I hope you get out of that soon!
@maevependragon thanks! I actually got a new job that he knows nothing about. I'll be leaving sooner than later!
That's like comparing apples to oranges, completely ingnoring all the other differences and focusing on one or two similarities and saying its the same thing which is a logical fallacy.
@PizzaAnnihilator apples and oranges can be compared.
Also, no it's not. He's abusive and entitled, which quips at his inability to sustain proper relationships.
Also, comparing similarities is a necessity when discussing the outcome. Example: Apples and oranges are different, but are both fruit, thus can be classified under the same category.
Inquiring why someone won't let you abuse them, but getting upset that they're identifying a personality flaw in you that degrades all important relationships is unhinged. The comparison is valid.
Nice try though.
I broke up with my boyfriend today.
I'm in college while he just stays home playing roblox all day. We havent seen eachother in almost 2+ years and barely talked. I changed in that time while he remained the same as his highschool self
He legit spent the whole break up saying "I can change", "Give me another chance", etc etc
No matter what I said those were his answers
It started geting ridiculous at some point and I was just repeating myself
I'm completly fine rn, I actually feel like a weight as been lifted off my shoulders
EDIT: Thanks for the support. To respond to some people, I dont think he had any mental illnesses or traumas. He's had a PC since kindergarten and has admited multiple times that he would stay on the PC all day everyday since then. Even as a kid, he would go super late to bed (like at 23:00 or even midnight) and do things like not brushing his teeth dayly, and I had to tell him to brush them. He also didnt finish highschool. He failed the last year and never went back to finish it. Yes, he still lives with his parentes, but they do nothing about it. Also, I have nothing against people that play videogames, I'm a casual gamer myself and play online with friends or alone everynow and then when I have free time. But of course, I think it's safe to say that my now ex is taking it to the extreme.
Congratulations on your newfound freedom! Staying home playing Roblox all day sounds like child behavior, not high school graduate behavior.
According to many M, we W are the ones who are after their ressources and "cant live without them".
But so many M proge otherwise.
They wont change their narative though.
Who are playing professiobal victims here.
M or W.
Congratulations!! That's not a boyfriend, that's toddler you had to take emotional care of. Thank you, I needed some good news today.
If you reach that point of feeling like you're just repeating yourself, I would disengage from the conversation and tell him to stop contacting you from this point forward. If he continues, that's harassment and I would ignore him unless he really doesn't stop. If he doesn't stop, I'd file a report with the police because odds are, they've done this with other people.
If someone says to you they can change ONLY when you are breaking up with them, i consider it highly disrespectful. Like, what you had the ability to do better all these years but you just never wanted to? That tells me everything I need to know about how they view me.
That second one is veeery BPD coded and could use some therapy yesterday. I was exactly like that before I got the right therapy.. not quite as extreme, but on bad days pretty close. 😅
These kind of people feel that they are entitled to a relationship. That behavior is terrifying. They inevitably get angry and violent.
Dude the first guy is incoherent. I’ve worked with toddlers and I understood them so much more clearly
My goodness. I was long distance with my partner for a few months in the beginning because of the pandemic. We would sometimes go a day without texting. Life happens. My mum was sick, she ended up passing away, he understood. We now live together and have a child. It's about healthy communication and boundaries.
I told my wife I loved her after two months lol I knew it had to be a bad idea but I couldn’t help it. She didn’t say it back for a while, I was her first long term relationship so I understood and didn’t let it get to me. I asked if she wanted me to stop saying it (I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or forced into reciprocating) but she said she liked it and didn’t want me to stop if that’s how I really felt. Eventually when she did say it organically and not just because I would say it, it was literally one of the most beautiful moments of my life. We’ve been together for over a decade now. I wouldn’t recommend others in expressing these feelings so early though haha I just got lucky I didn’t scare the love of my life off because I couldn’t contain what I felt.
Your wonderful wholesomeness is so necessary today...thank you.
“You’ll never meet anyone else like me” girl he didn’t even meet you
"Fick you!" That one got me. 😂
honestly love bombing would never work on me because even reading the description of what it is i freaked out! ,if someone all of a sudden started showering me with affection and attention ,i'd get immediatly suspicious and taken aback and certainly not comfortable by any means, EW! *smh*
Unfortunately a lot of lovebombing comes from deep inner insecurity and fear of abandonment. I hope these people find help and heal their inner wounds instead of causing conflict with other people 💔 a lot of the time people speak of narcissists as evil people with no empathy and It’s easy to forget that they are also humans with very insidious trauma; Trauma that also keeps them from admitting that they need help :(
My heart goes out to the people with cluster B personality disorders. I hope they can find the strength to take the step and stop the chain of hurt.
"Vulnerability = an opportunity for control" THIS!! Some people will also show a fake vulnerability as a bait to make you show your own vulnerabilities so they can use them. Ignore their own boundaries so they can shove it into your face when you set your own boundaries. Be wary!
Im always amazed how long these texts back and forth continue. I would shut it down and block them by message 5!
First guy will hard-core be a stalker when the crazy, weird, controlling relationship ends. RUN!😱 FAST😱 I love that you are informing people about the differences between a healthy relationship and a dysfunctional one. These kind of things should be taught in school because there is way too much violence going down between couples. Much love to anyone who is trying to escape this kind of situation.😘💕
got lovebombed like three days ago after matching with someone and the warning bells started SCREAMING the moment he started mentioning “auras” and that i was “her for him”.. like bros this will never be normal 😭
Yeess, thank you!! I needed it!! Also, you're the best!!
It's so great how quickly your channel has grown. You're doing great kid! Have a big ol mom hug, and keep being you.
I had a guy i was dating tell me off because i went quiet after he was rude/hateful to me. He blew up saying horrible things. If you're a calm person and someone is trying to change that.. RUN ❤
12:55 i HATE the whole empath thing
Ive been told by others I am one
However saying
"Im a empath"
Or "i have mental illness "
Neither of these things are excuses to then be an asshole, manipulative, or controlling with bad behavior
Also if they were actually a "empath" they could feel out the bad vibes in the room
How are you nor embarrassed?
Thank you for explaining this kind of manipulation. I am extremely lucky to have found love before social media became a thing. I am genuinely worried for my next generation and your videos give me lots to think about.
And congrats on the 1 million mark!!
Adding “troll-mate” to my vocab 🤣🤣😂
"I can't be your kryptonite, cuz you ain't my Superman"
Had a guy like that who got mad cos i never answered his constant call and texting one afternoon, so i pretending i was hoovering upstairs and my fone was on charge 😊😮
And, you dumped him soon after, right?
@SilverAuntie I gotta know 😭
I have BPD and used to (and to some extents still) do lovebombing behavior. Going back to my old messages from 3+ years ago before my therapy started, most of my conversations were love bombing. I remember this very specific mindset I would get into, because I would genuinely be enamored with someone, feel inconceivable amounts of happiness whenever they spoke to me, and I wanted that to continue. I would almost feel like I needed the love back despite there being absolutely NO reason for that person to do that, and the slightest amount of rejection meant everything I said was absolute garbage to the person I was talking to, even though I meant every part of it, and so that made it garbage to me to? It's weird looking back at that time period of my life and trying to understand where I was coming from, but sometimes these videos help unpack it more.
Sorry if this doesnt make much sense, im high and its late. I want to say i do not promote behavior like that or excuse it, I have a feeling someone might comment "oh so someone being hurt makes it okay to do this" No it doesnt, it is just how some people are led to this behavior, its the only way they learned and can replicate love. I also just wanted to post this so people do remember that the individuals behaving this way ARE also people, they have internal worlds, and can change. It might be a personal anecadote but over my few years in therapy and having semi-consistent partner(s) (short answer: Im poly) that can handle my outbursts, I have gotten better and can communicate when I feel upset without doing the whole "nothing even matters anymore, never talk to me again you backstabbing" yk the cringe shit. Even with that in mind however, rule number 1 is keep YOURSELF safe and sometimes that means being an ass and telling an abusive, toxic idiot to fuck off. (i am saying this as someone who has been the abusive toxic idiot, because it doesnt help us either to have someone feed into our shit) Best thing to do with a lot of people is disengage
Tldr; i guess an inside view on one way someone love bombs and the internal world they experience while doing it. some people do this with genuine intention to hurt, some don't (still never makes the behavior okay) And keep yourself safe because the only person you owe anything to is YOURSELF, and dont feed into freaks like these
Edit: spelling
I think it's helpful to point out the red flags because it can aid in self-awareness. Listening to the second text I instantly recognized the BPD symptoms of that person because my child has BPD. I don't like seeing people in the comments demonizing or calling them monsters. Those people do not understand BPD or how it impacts the individual. My son has started to call or text me when he has the urge to send these kinds of messages. He will read what he wants to send and ask me how I interpret the text. If I say, Do not send that message it sends this kind of (insert negative) vibe... he puts on the brakes. I rarely have to this for him. He has worked so hard to create self-awareness. I wish you all the best!
Ya know what, Dustin? You are effervescent. 😊
12:51 As an empath(or at the very least that's what I've been called before)...wtf man. This is disgusting. If you really were an empath you would've already known he was getting uncomfortable.
There is no evidence to support the idea of "empaths" as a specific type of human or personality. Almost everyone, with exceptions to those with mental disorders like sociopathy and psychopathy, all feel the same range of emotion. Some people are more sensitive, sure, but that comes with adhd and autism, not some weird woo nonsense.
@@vultureculture7707 Yes. The complete absence of empathy is included in the definition of a psychopath. We as humans expect each other to be able to have some level of empathy towards each other, and that if it is not there then something is seriously wrong. Granted, some people are better than others at being in tune with the feelings of those around them, but claiming to part of this unique group of people that have some kind of ability to read other people's emotions the same way that psychics claim to be able to read people's auras is taking it a little to far.
@@snowangelnc You just lost 1000 aura for denying auras
/s
I came from two love-bombers. I used to act like this as a pre-teen/teenager. But, you know what? I grew up and realized my mistakes. People who refuse to grow up are the problem…
Good on those people for realizing right away the 🚩 🚩 🚩
Real shi I've been loved bombed by someone when I was a teenager I grew up and realized to stop talking to people as soon as a red flag shows
13:45 My Bluetooth headset gave me a message about a low battery and it almost looked like YOU were saying it.
Thank you for this video Dustin much needed today
The textbook nice guy/girl behaviour in the second story is astounding, it’s like she followed a step by step tutorial… can’t believe how reasonable the guy was throughout all of that.
I was involved in text book love bombing once. It was wild & afterward I felt a sense of surrealness. It only lasted 2 weeks from first meeting online to coming up with a plan to get away from him because I was legitimately scared for my safety. The last day we hung out it's like he knew I was over it because he bought me a ring (like a promise ring) and left his car behind to ride with me so that he would have more time to convince me to stay. Luckily I already knew what love bombing was so I noticed the signs after the 1st week and a half.
The ones where you only been texting for mins and they are all of the sudden in love. They are scammers. I dealt with them online to where i block them as soon as they call me babe, beautiful, etc. Watch the spelling or if it sounds AI generated. Mostly when you look at their profile and it's new. That's a sign. Or if it looks like they share alot from an other page. Keep your eyes open and hearts guarded.
I have had this happen so many times. I was very naive, and I am ashamed to say that I fell for it a few times. They really are so scary
That woman is not an empath. She’s straight up scary 😧
She's a path, all right...psychopath.
As someone who's love language is gift giving and I can "hyperfixate" on a person when I like them, coming off as lovebombing is one of my worst fears for a new relationship. Because you consume my whole thoughts and everything I see reminds me of you and so Ill want to get you so much. AND as a hopeless romantic using things like soulmate and talking abt starting a family is totally something I would do 😔
{Not asking for sympathy just felt like sharing as it felt appropriate lolsies}
Edit: So many of you guys are so so sweet and I wish you all great relationships and well wishes
You shouldn’t blast someone with so many compliments and feelings when you’ve just met them. A few are nice but more can be overwhelming to the recipient. Plus, you barely know each-other to really know if someone is your “soulmate.” Some people have a lot of negative hidden qualities that don’t show up until later in the relationship.
You seem to be aware of how it came come off, which I think is the half the battle; Awareness. Catching feelings quickly is fine (in theory), as long as you aren't immediately confessing that to the person and then blowing up at them if they don't reciprocate, like the people in this video.
I'd say check in with your person and make sure they are comfortable with your level of engagement and just be aware that they may be moving much slower or wanting the relationship to move much slower than you. If that doesn't work and either of you are miserable with the pacing, then you're just not compatible and it's probably best to move on.
There’s nothing wrong with experiencing strong affection for someone, but like it’s been stated heavily in the video, it’s about boundaries. Some people DO like intense affection, but other people are more conservative with their feelings and don’t appreciate that much intensity. It’s about reading the room and taking it easy. And also, just talking to the person. Rather than jumping them out of the blue with your feelings or with presents, just ask first. Hey, I saw this thing at the store that reminded me of you, can I send it/give it to you? Hey, I woke up thinking about you, hope you have a great day, etc. Start off small and prod a bit to test out the waters, just don’t be so intense.
As someone who latches on quickly in a relationship I check in CONSTANTLY if I see myself having signals of love bombing me and my boyfriend have talked about it as I’m demi once I’m in a relationship a switch flips and I’m a lovesick fool. I’ll shower with words of affirmation gifts and be constantly texting…. But when I realized this was “love bombing” (and part of the reason 4 out of 6 of my relationships ended in disaster!) I immediately brought it up to my partner. He calmed me down and told me that he enjoys how affectionate I am he doesn’t see it as overwhelming or love bombing… he told me the difference is boundaries. There are good people who are VERY affectionate at the start of a relationship! who pamper and love on and adore their partner. The difference is making sure the person is ok with it or reciprocating.
When me and my boyfriend started dating it was like a FOREST-FIRE! he was SUPER affectionate to me and took everything I gave him and gave it back in equal measure if one of us ramped up the other did too if one of us slowed down so did the other. The affection was in pace with us and how we felt. And when I was really fond of something we did and he started to tire of it he told me. And when i wasn’t a fan of playing the games he liked i told him. It was *CLEAR OPEN RECIPROCAL NONFORCED COMUNICATION*
And in relationships that have people who are like wildfires you need to dig the dirt ditches to manage the burn. You need to maintain and communicate and match the energy of your partner not outmatch… unless it’s a game (we had a “I love you more game” eventually I lost and we talked about it) clear open honest communication is the only way to have that kind of whirlwind relationship that “love bombing” projects.
If you’re worried about coming off strong talk about it. If you’re worried you will be seen as a red flag, talk about it. Talk about what is and isn’t appropriate for the start of the relationship let them set clear boundaries, let them tell you how much affection they would appreciate and how much is too much and what topics are off the table until you two are out of the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
If you aren’t love bombing you won’t overstep, you won’t talk about banned topics, and you have clearly expressed your affection in a way that can properly be reciprocated.
I will never understand how people react this way when they have never even met the other person.
Excellent as always. Terrifying 😂 but informative and genuinely awesome. ❤
My Hera!! Trying to read his texts is hurting my brain! No punctuation, misspelled words, and the weird laughing ....it's all too much! It's TOO MUCH😵💫
Both of these weirdos need a padded room, for life!!
I worry a lot about if I do love bombing or text too much. I’m an insecure person and also love talking to the folks I like so I’m scared that I come off like person 1
But also I would never send even a fraction of what he did, quantity and content. Soothing my own anxiety at other’s expense lmaoooo
If you're doing it genuinely and just because you sincerely cherish someone that's okay, just be mindful of their boundaries, needs, comfort, and your own intentions and actions.
- someone who was in your place.
@ thank you so much
I'm actually really glad you posted what love bombing is. I've been worried in the past that I do that, because I feel very deeply and sometimes I rush in and I want to spend all my time with a new shiny relationship and I'll tell the person I've been seeing how happy I am to be with them, etc... but I don't do ANY of the stuff that's considered love bombing. And the declarations of happiness are like a week or two after we're exclusive, and I typically start small to gauge their responses xD I feel way better about being an all-in kinda gal knowing that love-bombing is actually kind of a misnomer.
Yay! More long-form video! I've been waiting for this lol. Also! Congrats on one million subs! How awesome! You deserve it!
Always easy to listen to these stories from your smooth, soft, coherent voice. Thanks Flag Guy. We love you.