My Body is Not a Choice
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- As a fat person online a lot of people want to criticize my body or comment on my health, I have zero tolerance for that on my channel and in this video I decided to explain that boundary.
If you'd like to follow me:
Twitter: / bluestockinsara
Patreon: / costumecodex 
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For the record I'm ot saying it's okay to criticize the things about a person's body that are a choice, but that is a different and perhaps more nuanced conversation.
❤ I just wanted to comment that imho even if the body was a choice, harassment wouldn’t be okay and then I saw you already noted that. Thanks!
@@Pfoffie I realized I hadn’t said it in the video and I should have because it’s important.
There is literally nothing nuanced about it you eat more than you burn so you are fat. Literally basic science for the past 100 years. It's most definitely a choice you are not a victim you are not oppressed. You are fat. Stop trying to blame the world for being mean to fat people and take some responsibility. We are not normal and this problem should nkt be normalised in society. And this is coming from a fat person as well by the way. I noticed you turned of comments on your review of the whale and it made me laugh. Your arguments are so flawed both scientifically and socially that I probably wouldn't want to face literally anyone with a brain to point them out to me. So just turn of the comments. Easy option but cowardly in my opinion. Anyway being fat unless you have a very very rare genetic disease is a choice end of
@@aliciacieslicka2503 I'm sorry people have convinced you of that, I really am. That's not basic science, by the way, it's outdated disproven research. That happens with science, we accept the best conclusion until someone disproves it with better evidence. The research around calories in calories out was based on the assumption that the body was a closed system that burned energy the way fire burns fuel. Turns out that's not how the human body works. Of course, you won't listen to me saying this you've dismissed me as a brainless coward. Such a generous thing to say about a stranger on the internet.
Honestly, one of the things that encouraged me to subscribe to your channel was your openness and willingness to moderate your comments section and set firm boundaries. It's hard work, and it's important work, and I'm so glad you're willing to put that effort in.
It's a shame respecting each other isn't valued as much or more than opinion. It's far more valuable and meaningful.
Thanks for voicing all this. It's incredibly important for people to understand but still makes the speaker very vulnerable.
Sara, I have always admired that you state clear boundaries for comments in your channel, particularly the concept of "concern trolling." To me, you are a warrior.
I always appreciate your support Marg
Even though I have a thin body, what you are saying about the way people make assumptions and have no clue about 'choices' really struck a chord with me, as someone who had severe acne, then severe facial acne scars. From all kinds of recommendations regarding laser surgeries, topical treatments, facial cleansers, etc. it's a whole world of grifterdom feeding on despair and desperation...along with well-meaning friends and family who are happy to share articles/advice on 'miracle cures'. I don't think acne scarring is anywhere near as stigmatized as being fat, but even my microdose of that array of responses makes me feel this deeply. Just 9 months ago, I paid a lot of money to have a laser resurfacing procedure done which led to not only a very painful inflammation, but ultimately a c-diff infection and minimal scar improvement to show for it. After that- I just feel like: screw it, I kind of like my face well enough, if other people don't, too bad. Ultimately, we all need to get on with life and focus on the stuff that makes us happy. I wish our culture would just leave fat people the heck alone and let them do their own thing.
Oh that sounds frustrating, and C-dif on top of everything.
Yeah fat certainly isn’t the only thing that gets this kind of experience. I have heard terrible stories from disabled friends too. We can all support each other in encouraging a better world for people in marginalized bodies.
Sara, thank you so much for making and sharing this video. I can relate to so much of what you said, and you’ve even helped crystallize some of my own thoughts on this subject. I'd like to share some of my own experiences, which seem to line up with yours in some ways.
I grew up in the 90s and I was also put on diets by well-meaning parents starting at a young age. I never restricted myself as a kid, it was always something imposed on me from without. I also gained a lot of weight over the course of my life, and for me it was pretty exclusively due to binge eating (which I’m sure you know is a consequence of having been put on a restrictive eating plan). When I was 26 I made the decision to lose some weight and I did it as gently as possible. For the record, even after I lost what would be considered a significant amount of weight, I was still fat. I never got below a women's size 18 for reference. Even with continued restriction, unless I let myself feel starved, I couldn't lose any more.
I personally see my weight loss as an overall positive experience, but I think that’s due to a number of lucky/atypical factors. I was in really good therapy and going through enormous emotional healing at the same time that I was losing weight, for one (I started the weight loss after about 9 months in therapy). Also, I was with a partner (in a committed way for the first time ever) who loved my fat body, so there was no feeling of “I have to do this so I can be worthy of love.” The combination of these factors meant that I wasn’t just beating my body into submission but learning about portion sizes and getting more in touch with my natural hunger/fullness signals.
I am NOT, however, “all better.” I am much more comfortable in my body now, but I am still “morbidly ob*se.” I have kept most of the weight off, but recently I have gained some back because I did let go of being obsessive about maintaining for the sake of my mental health. Also, when life stress happens (like moving across the country for grad school), I tend to fall into old habits. Also also, I have a TERRIBLE relationship with exercise which is causing me literal pain and I really want to get over it but I haven’t yet.
I’ve come to the same conclusion it sounds like you did: in order to be smaller (or, as small as i “should be”), I have to let food take up a huuuuge portion of my brain. I still want a healthier body and I believe that I can have that, but I can’t go about it like that while maintaining my happiness/sanity. I can't have the goal "be smaller." My intention is to heal the trauma that got me here so I can work on getting my body healthier in a natural and loving way. And that means being kind to myself.
I get so frustrated by the discourse around this subject. So many people DO NOT GET IT. Because they haven’t lived in a fat body, they can only imagine getting into one by doing a bunch of stuff that wouldn’t feel natural to them. They don’t see the trauma and the bio-physiology of it all so they think being fat is a “choice.” No, fuck that. Nobody would choose this given all the shit we deal with. And plenty of fat people are taken in by this attitude, which is essentially a form of gaslighting. We are all made to feel like we are just not trying hard enough, when the reality is that it's impossible to do it the way we are being told to.
Sorry for writing a literal novel in your comments, but I just got so excited to encounter someone (however virtually) who’s on the same page about this and also approaches it with nuance. Thanks again, so much, for sharing your well-considered perspective.
Signed, a fellow Sara(h)
I appreciate your “novel”. We’re each on our own road with this stuff, just trying to find a way to live that makes us as happy as we can be. I just hope that future fat people don’t have to go through the gauntlet we did to get there.
Your patience talking about such painful personal topics like this is thicker than my thunderthighs I cried about growing up. Incredible. "It will literally take everything, and you won't get smaller" exactly......... I'm so angry my cognitive process that would've been directed to making music and studying was directed to a nightmarish loop of starving and binging. Looking back it seems so fking cruel.
Thank you for another insightful and nuanced video. I thought I'd add to the discussion by sharing my story and how body comments made me feel.
When I was about 20 I started to loose lots of weight very quickly (15-20% of my previous body weight gone in a year) and I just didn't notice. For that first year I was mentally blocking out all evidence of change - comments from others wouldn't register, I avoided mirrors but when I did see myself, instead of seeing how I really looked, I saw my memory of my chubby teenage body in the mirror. I didn't mind being my previous size and I didn't actively wish to change. Going home for Christmas and seeing the shock of my friends and family who hadn't been blinded my the gradual continuous change is what snapped my self perception abruptly back to reality. It was a quite traumatic experience and I still don't fully trust my ability to see my self and the world clearly. I had lost almost all my excess body fat and a lot of mussel mass. I couldn't cycle anymore or lift heavy objects. I knew if I keep on that trajectory it wouldn't be long before my body started to eat my organs. After that it was a matter of survival for me. My life revolved around food, I planned every day around lunch. I had no appetite and eating more than a few mouthfuls when very unpleasant even when I was painfully hungry. Still with discipline and support I managed not to loose any more weight and after a few years I can now enjoy eating normally again. I still don't know what caused it, but based on scaring it was likely trigged by damage to my thyroid during a cold. During this and for many years afterwards I got many ostensibly positive comments - congratulating me, telling me how great I look, expressing envy, asking about my weight loss secret. This was distressing for me to hear how I'd 'improved' as I didn't choose for this to happen, for me this was a health crisis that left me physically and emotionally weak.
I hope our social norms change so that unsolicited body comments are understood to be rude.
Edited to improve spelling and grammar.
That sounds really distressing, I'm glad you're in a better place now. This is one of the dangers of treating weight loss as a universal good, it can cause people to miss more serious health issues
I appreciate your level of moderation. I am a fat woman who has moved from small fat to mid fat as I've aged into an adult, and I find the topic of fatness and anti fat bias extremely emotionally charged. It's something I'm liable to skip over when I see conversations, because confronting my own feelings about myself, my own anti fat bias and how it was shaped by my fat mom hurts. Its a topic I think it is important I don't avoid forever though, and this is one of the few spaces that feel truly safe to dip my toes in and try and think about these things
It's a journey for all of us and it's okay to take it at your own pace
Boundaries keep us safe and other people do not get to police what those boundaries are and what we should tolerate. You do not owe anyone your time, your energy, and certainly not the ability to talk about your body.
I subbed after watching your amazing response video to Abigail Thorn/PhilosophyTube, and part of that was because you made me feel like it wasn’t a bad thing to be fat, and that I wasn’t less of a person for it, and that I had the right to tell people that they did not have my consent to talk about my body. The things you discuss matter. Take care of yourself ❤
I hope you know that you make me and a lot of other people feel better and feel understood ❤ when I was younger I dealt with an eating disorder myself for a variety of reasons, and that was one of the most painful times of my life. I hope the world grows to be more accepting as time goes on, but in the meantime, at least there are people like you online who provide safe spaces for these conversations and commiserations ❤ it means a lot and I hope you’re doing well :)
(PS, I 100% agree with you on the compliments thing! For people with body issues, compliments should always be directed at our choices and abilities and never what we look like. So many people have trouble understanding that in my real life)
So much of the Internet would be a much better place if people just kept unsolicited advice and opinions about others to themselves.
I appreciate your insight on this topic, I also struggle with my body and I have a tricky relationship with food. I am still unpacking fatphobia when it comes to my own body and it’s definitely not a choice to be a bigger person there are many things-outside factors which can influence and limit people when it comes to weight gain also I struggle with the idea of having to be miserable in order to lose weight because it’s just not a good experience I don’t understand the point in it. Food is one of the things in my life that brings me happiness especially coming from a background where I did not have any growing up and was often hungry for days lately I’ve been fighting trying to understand if I sincerely want to lose weight for myself or to be more accepted into society. I love your videos thank you for all that you do❤
I agree with you on the absurdity of society expecting people to be totally and constantly unbothered by opposing views.
When your life or dignity is on the line, when the life or dignity of people is on the line, getting emotional is not necessarily wrong, it's not a "gotcha" moment for opponents - it's just what human beings do.
I had to stop partway through, but what you said was so true for so many parts of my life as well, and it's part of why I also just stopped the unending cycle. Thanks for posting.
Good for you for prioritizing your needs.
i really appriciate the honesty. i love the idea that you dont have to be 100% on your feelings around your body to speak about it. i also compeletly understand your choice or at least what i understand to be a choice to stay at your size cause otherwise you will loose yourself chasing a lower number. i heard of you from forigen man im glad ive finaly found someone that can expalin fatfobia to me. i would like to think i suport you
It’s more like I’m choosing not to worry about size. I try to move to feel good not burn calories and eat to be nourished. Trying to live better in the body I have is an achievable goal
YES as a chronically ill person (whose physique is also affected by that chronic illness and I'm bigger up top and can't do much exercise etc) thank you for this video. I wish I could mold my body to be a certain way, but it's so much harder and even more dangerous for some people. And like, ultimately it shouldn't matter, people shouldn't be fatphobic or whatever, but for them to create some character flaw about it when we've tried (in ways that ultimately hurt us!) just makes it EXTRA frustrating. The assumptions are so frustrating.
There is SO MUCH toxic positivity in that comment too! Very "well if you actually wanted it, you would be" and I can't stand that stuff.
Looking forward to your videos on Taylor Swift and the Whale!
I don’t comment on non-choices one way or another. I’ll compliment someone’s hairstyle, but not their hair. Their makeup but not their complexion. Their outfit but not their figure.
Compliments on non-choices can be dispiriting because it makes you feel that people’s approval and affection are dependent on factors outside your control.
Criticizing non-choices is worse - ignorant, dehumanizing, and cruel.
And it’s not just looks. When my niece makes a good grade, I tell her I’m proud of her hard work rather than her intelligence.
Edit: just got to the point in the video where you say this exact thing 🤝
Thank you. I’m loving your videos ✌️🙏
Great video! Honestly been through the same challenges. I feel that we as a species are beginning to understand and I blame our Protestant ethics for trying to separate how our actions and choices are made individually when it really isn’t.
Another RUclipsr once explained that people tended to remark on the appearance of female creators much more than on their male counterparts. I now remember this every time I watch a video on this platform.
I therefore always understood your policy of deleting comments on your appearance. We have become too accepting of the freedom/anonymity the Internet grants us. No one should have to put up with this.
#BlockEarlyBlockOften for your protection and the communities 🌱
Just wanted to say I think you are a beautiful human being! I really appreciate the videos you make, maybe one "critique" I would have, is to try out a different microphone. This one is not the best, but I can understand if you don't have another one. I really like hearing you speak your mind, but sometimes the microphone is a distraction.
Seriously, random people insult you on the street? I’m so sorry to hear that. That is unacceptable and I wish you wouldn’t have to deal with it. You are a wonderful creator. Keep on shining. I deeply admire creators on this platform who expose themselves as honestly as you do.Tale care of yourself.
I get it less here than many fat people just because Canada tends to passive aggressive, in Scotland the person on the bus thing happened a few times. Here I still get strangers offering me diet advice and that sort of trolling. Also because I’m ethically ambiguous strangers feel free to comment on that too and have since I was a child. I’m used to stranger’s entitlement but I don’t have to accept it.
Connecting your comment section to your living room and stating that you have the right to moderate who is in your living room and therefore, who is in your comment section makes perfect sense. I consider myself a free speech absolutist but people obviously have the right to curate who is around them.
"There is that lovely thing called not watching the video" ❤❤❤❤❤
I love your videos, especially your humor.
By the way, if only confident people would speak, the world would be a very dumb place. Intelligent people are often more critical towards themselves and their ideas. Doubt makes a good scientist: here is an idea, poke holes in it 😊. That's how scientific theories are cut out of evidence.
Everyone's circumstances are different. I have diabetes and I managed to lose weight but it wasn't sustainable, I started eating badly over lockdown and it came back. For me it's more complicated but I worry that my daughter doesn't eat enough. However fat shaming is NEVER ok and I hate that having diabetes seems to prove people right although one guy on the virtual seminar in how to eat said 'I do that anyway' and the lady said 'well if you haven't you'd have just got diabetes younger' so there's that.
It’s a tricky disease to manage in the best of circumstances, I hope you find a way that works for you
As a fellow fat person (cis gay male) I'm so happy Jessie directed me to your channel. I agree with everything you've said
Thanks for talking about this
"Have you tried NOT being [x]?"
That kind of rhetoric is always an attempt to avoid the actual critique at hand.
I came across your video by accident and I was very impressed with your openness and honesty. As someone who is overweight I could really resonate with what you were saying. I have tried dieting and exercise. I would lose weight and then gain it all back! It was so damn frustrating! And to be honest I don't like exercise nor dieting. I find exercising a chore and when I am dieting I am always hungry. And it bugs the hell out me to see videos where the person was fat and then went on this exercise program and now have the body of a Greek God and are keeping the weight off. I have never been able to achieve that and yes I find it frustrating and am filled with envy. But I have come to the conclusion that I will always be this way. This beer gut is a part of me. I will never be svelte. Mind you I will try to stay healthy but I am not going to hate myself anymore for not having a nice bod. (I'm sure I am twice your age.) I think that happiness is a choice and I decided I am going to be happy. Thank you!
I’m glad the video spoke to you, and I’d encourage you to seek out other fat activists and fat community. It helps to know we’re not alone and we can live happy lives as fat people. For the record I’m 42, so if you’re twice my age you’re doing great.
Thanks for this! I'm sorry that no matter what you do, you get comments on how you look. And, I'm glad that, here at least, you have the power to block and delete!
That screenshotted comment is fallacious and nonsensical, it equates the act of making creative choices with the mere fact of existing in the world in a fat body. Also, it wrongly assumes that fat people calling out fatphobia is exclusively about "hurt feelings", as if medical fatphobia weren't causing physical harm (lethal harm, even) to fat people, as if fat people weren't suffering discrimination at work etc. etc. etc. I made the mistake of engaging on twitter about the Swift video with a formerly fat "influencer" (she was pushing her insta & tiktok, you know the type) who went on and on about how she lost weight through diet & discipline, and how being fat was a choice, and I fruitlessly tried to reason with her and counter her ravings with facts. I looked at her content and she is STARVING herself, it was like "eating disorder 101". It was intensely disheartening.
Oh it’s totally nonsense, but it’s common nonsense so I thought it was worth engaging with. Not for that person’s benefit, they won’t listen, but as an example for those who might.
@@Sara_TheFatCultureCritic ❤
The idea that you cannot speak on a subject until you come across as collected and distanced is one I find as extremely toxic and off-putting. This is straight and simple part of politics of politeness and trying to force people to not talk on the painful matters. (If I'm explaining this clearly enough).
I try to take care to use my voice when there is a subject that matters to me to the point of pain, because the subjects that are painful are more often than not the ones that need to be addressed yesterday.
But there is also a matter of me understanding how far I can stretch before I snap and I put a boundary at not speaking publicly if I don't feel I can take the tension of receiving critique from strangers in public space.
And yes, the matters of body image, body weight and other adjacent subjects can be a minefield of the greatest magnitude, but like with the real life minefields they need to be rid of ASAP but more importantly as safe as possible. That may be some food for thought for folks in general and those who don't get growing up and functioning in a society that puts your body in category of a very brutal othering: why is it more important to some to maintain the illusion of peace and how we ourselves can build healthier spaces to listen to people who need being listened to?
thank you for making this video. i know it required a lot of vulnerability. and it is recognized. and it is meaningful and valuable.
Thank you Sara 🥹🙏🏼
I've learned a lot from watching your videos. When I see fat joy I often think of your description of the joyful scene of the pool party (haven't seen the tv show yet, on my mind though).
I'm interested in your ideas around ableist language like r*tard, stupid, dumb, idiot, etc. There seemed to be a wave from the disability community a few years ago that had some traction to avoid using this language due to its dark origins and lack of the community reclaiming them as their own (like queer). But it feels like everyone's forgotten about it, or they never heard about it in the first place. This language (I think) still hurts people. What do you think? (Might be a good video idea). Be well.
PS. as for compliments, I've alays enjoyed when you put on makeup OR when you don't put on makeup!
Awesome video amazing job and well spoken‼️🔥
This is golden. So good 😊
Kudos to you. I want to start a communist RUclips channel to discuss current events and politics but I have zero desire to have my weight or teeth discussed by the internet. It's horrible but glad you're setting boundaries and blocking rude ppl.
Start your channel. Who cares if idiots comment about your looks. It says more about them then it ever could about you. Do what you want.
The idea that confidence means you can speak on things is an extremely troubling view to hold. The kind of thinking that elevates assholes like Andrew Tate.
I'm sorry you deal with comments like this. Beyond kind to still take the time and effort to explain your boundaries in this way 💜
Engagement for the engagement god! Also, thank you.
Thank you for the engagement
I've been fat my whole life too, and despite the fact that I know fatness is morally neutral, despite the fact that I know I'll never look how I want to and that pursuing it is making me miserable, I still can't stop trying to be smaller.
Wtf right? It's a compulsion
Offering hugs
@@Sara_TheFatCultureCritic same to you ♥️
Try doing self compassion meditation. It really can help.
I have the same issue with losing weight. If I take it to the extreme then yes I will lose weight very slowly. But living like that is impossible. I gain weight extremely fast if I don't stick with the plan 100%. And I've kept gaining and gaining, in fact i don't even go out anymore because I am so ashamed of myself. I don't know if there's some magical weight limit that once you pass it, you have to be on 1000kcal diet for life or you gain weight. I'm even on Ozempic and still just keep gaining.
I should mention I have a binge eating disorder and I've been skinny or fat all my life from one extreme to another. But for the past 5 years I've been obese (I don't want to say how big, but bigger than you). 6 years ago I was too skinny according to my doctor. I don't know if it's because I have chronic pain or cause I'm older but nothing I do helps. And definitely am not comfortable with myself. I haven't looked in the mirror for over a year and I hate my body. And I hate myself. But I guess that's binge eating disorder. If I even get one glimpse of myself in a reflection I have a mental breakdown immediately and stop eating for a few days. Then I try low carb, I try vegetarian, vegan etc... Keep it up for 4 months and realize I gained weight. I give up, start eating whatever I want cause why not and repeat...
I would like to know what happens when you eat less. Do you feel powerless then, do you get a terrible headache, do you have a bad sleep? Those would be the consequences of an average weight person eating less than needed. I just wonder if those consequences kick in earlier for you than for others and therefore you need more food to feel well. If I have a headache for example, eating a lot helps me getting rid of it. So I wonder what would happen if I had a headache much more often.
Zero energy, headaches, physical weakness, chills, the same stuff as everyone else. I don't actually eat more than most people, I eat less than many
When you post things on a public forum you forfeit your ability to not receive open and honest responses from people who may or may not agree with you.
I am not talking about people disagreeing with my opinion, I am talking about people who call me a whale and gleefully predict my death. That’s not opinion, it’s abuse.
♥️❤🧡💙🖤💛💚💜♥️❤🧡💙🖤💛💚💜
We are definitely clusters, occasionally cluster f**ks 😸 (meaning no disrespect to anyone or the subject matter)
I am really sorry how much you’ve been through with your weight. Many people can identify even if their thing is not weight. The beautiful french actress Anouk Aimee was asked what she regretted most in her life when she was old. She said “that I never wore a bikini”. She went on to say how ugly she felt for so much if her life and hid herself. Goes to show how humans are united in their suffering.
👍✌️🙏✨❤️💜
Your body, your business. Imagine being so precious as to police another person's existence. I'm sorry people are being garbage.
Hi,
I just wanted to comment and ask a question on the thing you said about Descartes. Where have you heard that it is from around that time that people started separating their bodies and minds? Because I think I've heard somewhere (excellent reference to source, I know, I heard something somewhere...) that it seems to be peoples natural instinct to do so. If you think about it, people dividing their inner self from their outer self is part of most major religions.
Thank you for the video and the channel and best wishes.
I have studied philosophy and queer theory which includes a lot of philosophy of the mind. This is pretty basic history of philosophy.
It may seem natural to us to separate but it actually does trace to Descartes. In the Middle Ages Christians believed in bodily resurrection on Judgment Day. If you look at art from the period that’s what you’ll find.
As to cultures having notions about one’s spirit or soul, that’s a different thing than the idea of the mind body split. It’s Descartes and those who followed him who shaped how you were taught to think of yourself.
It’s hard to hear the truth. You delete those comments you don’t like because you actually agree with them. You are ashamed of yourself. You hide behind vocabulary. You are on RUclips!
Apparently so hard you can’t hear a word I am saying. All RUclipsrs delete comments, there’s a bunch of tools to do it.
i dont wanna sound rude, but when i subscribed to this channel i thought it would talk about costumes. but it just feels like you are too focused on responding to random people on the internet. and that is very much unhealthy. you analysis videos are amazing, you are a vey smart and interesting person and it breaks my heart that so many of your latest videos are about the same topic and it feels like you are somewhat responding to something, wich granted i wouldnt know, but it's how it feels to me. i hope you the best, and that you realise you dont have to pay attention to what people say on a whim.
anyway, bye.
I'm sorry the free content on my channel didn't fit your niche expectations of me, maybe you should look elsewhere.
@@Sara_TheFatCultureCritic bruh... get help, for real. it's so pathetic how usaians act when they encounter any minor inconvenience
Damn, I like you :)
it's sad that you go through life with so much hatred. Hope you can find some joy in life someday.
I am not hate filled and my life has plenty of joy, other people hating me is on them.
As far as songs about body issues go, I prefer Jax's song Victoria's Secret-- especially because there's a video of Jax singing it live with a cellist and Lizzie Howell dancing to it. And the flash mob video of the song also has Lizzy Howell dancing in it!
It’s a good song, but it’s about someone celebrating that they aren’t fat. I get why it’s liberating to average sized people, but it’s not a song for someone like me.
@@Sara_TheFatCultureCritic I wouldn't call Lizzy Howell average sized--she'd be mid-sized at least.
@@Sara_TheFatCultureCritic She wrote it for a girl who was only 13 or so--a time when most girls haven't had time to get particularly big, and probably wouldn't go on to, if not for the diet culture.
If being fat isn’t a choice then explain Brently G
We’re you confused by the word “my” there? I didn’t claim my story was universal, there is no universal story of fatness, but it is common. The best evidence we have says that over 95% of diets fail. There is a tiny minority of people who are able to lose large amounts of weight and keep it off. Most people reset to their previous weight and some reset at a higher weight. Why this happens is complex and involves factors like hormone profile, genetics, epigenetics, environmental determinants, and other health conditions. Most of those are not within our control.
So yeah, you can point to one guy who is able to lose weight. That’s not nothing, but it’s equivalent to pointing to Micheal Phelps and asking everyone at the Y why they don’t swim as fast as him. Some bodies do things others can’t.
"Are you? Have you met someone who is?" Exactly!
Humans are way too judgmental, especially with a keyboard to hide behind. This is nothing new, but it still sucks. If you can't say something nice ya shouldn't type it on the internet either.