These are all tricky and I’m glad you covered caveats, especially for “looks.” At one point my writing was bloating, but when I read a book that just straight up said “looks” all the time, I realized how refreshing it can be to be direct. Everything in moderation.
Because used to be a weak word I used years ago, but after doing a word search in my current manuscript, "There was" is my new weak word. 🥴welp lemme get to work on editing this. Thanks Abbie!
"There was" is definitely my guilty pleasure. I usually write stories with deeper themes (for example free will in the context of God's sovereignty) and subconsciously find myself using it as a crutch in more moody scenes. I'm still working on my first draft but will 100% be keeping an eye out for these words during my editing phase.
I'm happy to be here! You have no idea how helpful your videos have been! I wrote 37 newspaper articles during my 2019 Appalachian Trail Thru-Hike (1,100 words each), winning 2nd place at the NCPRESS Awards in 2020. I'm struggling with imposter syndrome & trying to shake it off to get the book started. I'm binge watching your helpful videos now. Research, right? Lol
I would like to add a note : This video does not mean these words are useless and should be avoided at all costs. It just means that these should be used in moderation.
Be careful! These words can be useful in certain contexts! But for the most part, if the sentence doesn't lose value when removing them, then remove it, but sometime for poetic flow, or even simple, concrete language, these words won't ruin your novel. Here's an example with the word 'think' from one of my projects: "This room is nice, I think. Sweet of her to give it to me, generous even. What a thoughtful person to think of such a need, about a girl who lives on her own... and coming to my rescue when I needed it the most. Nice of her, I think." Hope this helps! 😄
this is exactly what I was thinking! I use "weak" words like these specifically for the fact that they're weaker and less harsh than others, to showcase that the character is thinking softly/fondly about something, or that they're disconnected from reality, etc. because really, sometimes, the scene isn't active and the character is lost inside their thoughts and mind. or maybe, the actual purpose of what these types of words are usually used for, they're actually unsure about themselves. (by the way, I know she discusses all the possibilities that I mention, but normally when I watch these kinds of videos I read the comments to see if the video actually gives good advice so I read this before watching the video to that extent.)
Thanks so much Abbie!! Both of your videos about weak words have helped me so much in forcing me to show not tell, which is something I really struggle with ;) I really appreciate it.
This is super helpful, Abbie! I appreciate the clear examples for both the instances of cutting out weak works and for the instances in which they’re useful.
Hi Abby! I’ve read your book the best Christmas ever (I’m from Poland 🇵🇱) and I love it so much it is a dream to have a relationship like that and specially with Weston🤭 thank you so much for this books and videos I wish you luck! Love u and ur books🫶
I recommend reading The Otherworld, if you have not already. I loved it, Adam was my favourite character in the entire book. I always imagined him looking like Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 4 as I was reading it
i'd known about all the rest, but the mentions of 'didn't' and 'because' gave me a lot of food for thought. i had never considered the fact that they might weaken writing by using more words than are actually needed. thanks for the vid!
I'm writing fan fiction for an online group. My 20-year-old college student narrator has an informal yet grammatically correct voice. I used your first list of 10 weak words, and I plan to use the second list that you've presented in this video. (Confession: I've used other such lists, too.) Eliminating these words has helped me reconstruct my main character's sentences in a much better way. However, as you are saying in the introduction to this video, not every weak word needs to be cut, especially in dialogue. My point is, first-person writing is all dialogue in the sense that it is the story "spoken" to the reader. I can delete 90% of weak words, but to take them all out requires the narrator to change his voice according to how he speaks in the original books (wherein he is a teenager). Just wanted to express this. Thanks for all your guiding help.
Thank you, Abby! These videos are so useful for a beginner like me. You should do more videos regarding writing skills and prose, as I always battle with it and I try not to fall into the terrible pretty prose lol
Had to go back and check, because I couldn't believe NONE of these were in the first video. The examples are so effective! Gonna have to watch out for these words in the future! 👀
Thanks so much for another excellent broadcast, and the Weak Words guide. It is really helping me today as I write, I am suddenly much more mindful of how I'm saying what I say and making it more active. Great techniqes.
This was so helpful! I'm guilty of because and looks and I know it's weak but sometimes I just use until I can think of a accurate way to say it lol. Thank you!
Way to call me out! Haha... I'm a new writer, and I struggle with most of these, especially " There was/is." I feel like I've learned some great information here. I'm off to watch more of your videos now!
As a aspiring writer (who's struggling with the writing part) I feel like I have to write my book in past-tense format. Like it won't be a good book without.
Dear Abbie Emmons, Hey, I’m Jennifer Beckwith, and first off, I gotta say-you are incredible. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever read stories that hit me quite like yours do. I mean, I tore through 100 Days of Sunlight in just a few hours. It was late, I was tired, but did that stop me? No way. I was up till 2:00 in the morning because I just had to know what happened with Tessa and Weston. And let me tell ya-I totally fell in love with both of them. Which brings me to this. I’ve been writing for about eight years now-pretty wild, right? I’ll be 15 in February, and I’ve been following your channel for a couple of years. And when I say this, I mean it-you are the reason I finished my novel. Like, no joke. I haven’t published it just yet, but I’m so close. I’m using KDP, and I literally just ordered two proof copies off Amazon-one for me, one for my dad. And honestly, none of this would have happened without you. The book’s called "Dupree to Be: Love’s a Mess. Family’s Messier". It’s a romantic dramedy, and writing it was an absolute blast. Once it’s out-which should be in the next month or two-I’d love for you to check it out! Oh, and I put you in the acknowledgments, because, well, obviously. But seriously-oh my goodness-I can’t believe I’m actually gonna hold my own book. And I couldn’t have done it without you. Here’s a little excerpt-I’d love to hear what you think! Chapter 1: Derek Daley Central Park was practically glowing, the afternoon light slicing through the amber leaves and bathing everything in cinematic brilliance. If my life were a rom-com-and let’s face it, it’s been more “rom” than “com” lately-this would be the part where the protagonist finally gets his act together. Except, of course, I’m not the protagonist. I’m the ex. Teri Burnes walks beside me, effortlessly radiant. She’s not just beautiful-she’s the kind of gorgeous that should come with a warning label. Like, “Caution: May cause spontaneous poetry or the inability to form coherent sentences.” Today, her blonde hair, which she usually ties up like some kind of corporate goddess, is loose, cascading down her back in soft waves that shimmer in the October sun. Her olive-green sweater hugs her perfectly, paired with jeans that look like they’ve been through a thousand wash cycles and still manage to outshine anything in my closet. And then there’s the ring. Silver. Dainty. Just flashy enough to scream, “Taken.” It’s on that finger, and every time it catches the light, it feels like it’s mocking me. I can almost hear it whisper, Not yours, Derek. Not yours. I was strolling through this very same park the day I met her about a year ago, except I had my Labrador, Waffles, with me that day. He was at my side, sniffing the wet leaves and yanking me off the trail multiple times. But he is loyal and loves me to the point it gets annoying when he demands me to pet him when I’m barely awake and still sipping coffee strong enough to jumpstart a tractor. I had the custom-made leather leash in my hand, and my dark hair was tousled by the chilly breeze before I caught sight of Teri just off the side of the trail, a canvas set up on a tripod. On that canvas was a beautiful painting of the cherry tree in front of her, the vibrant colors contrasting the present winter grey that had turned everything dull-and as any single thirty-year-old guy would think, could you ask for a better ice-breaker? I remember everything from that fateful day in December. My stomach was in knots, but I knew if I went home without talking to this angel of a woman, it would be on my list of Major Life Regrets. “Wow. I’ve never seen something more incredibly beautiful,” was my first sentence to her as I struggled to keep Waffles from barreling towards her and laying her flat. And when she looked up at me, her long eyelashes fluttered, and I could tell her stomach jumped into her mouth when she saw me. I never thought I was much to look at, but she liked me anyway. She turned towards me slightly, eyes darting between me and the painting. “Yeah, thanks. I’ve worked pretty hard on it,” she breathed before dipping the brush in the blue paint. She swiped the brush across the top of the canvas a few times-and it appeared like magic. Sky. I grinned, yanking Waffles back towards me, but my eyes never left her beautiful face. Oh no. I’m staring, I thought. “I was talking about you, I mean,” I told her, finally gesturing to her beautiful face. What followed was three months of something close to magic. We clicked instantly-her dry wit balancing out my tendency to overthink everything. She worked as a waitress at Manhatta, a fancy restaurant with skyline views, and I started showing up every day at 4 p.m., pretending I wasn’t there just to see her. She’d argue when I tipped her $100, her eyes narrowing in that cute, indignant way of hers. “Derek, this is ridiculous.” And I’d shrug. “What? I’m trying to make sure you don’t starve.” Things were good. Until they weren’t. By month three, I could feel her pulling away. The texts got shorter, the phone calls less frequent. Then one night, over what was supposed to be a romantic dinner, she told me she loved me. But not the way I loved her. “I just don’t think it’s fair to either of us,” she’d said, her voice breaking. “You deserve someone who... loves you the way you love them.” “So,” Teri says, snapping me out of my thoughts, her eyes glinting with mischief, “how are the birds today?” She’s teasing, of course. She thinks my recent hobby of bird watching is adorable-a word no man in his thirties ever wants to hear. I glance down at my shoes, watching the leaves crunch beneath them. “Oh, you know. They’re... out there. Doing bird things.” Just then the unmistakable, sorrowful call of a mourning dove echoes through the trees. I quickly lift my binoculars to my eyes and look toward the treetops, sweeping back and forth before finding the dove that sits alone on the branch of a red oak. It bobs its head a few times before making the call again. “That’s a mourning dove.” She lifts her chin, eyes squinting at the trees. “Where?” I step behind her and for a moment, picture myself wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. Instead I reach around and hold the binoculars in front of her face. “Here, grab these. Look up to that red oak right there. It’s sitting on the branch second from the highest.” I know she tenses slightly when I step behind her. There is no mistake-she knows a part of me will never let her go. She loosely wraps her hands around the binoculars, holding them tighter to her eyes as I stand behind her, hands lightly lingering on her wrists. I lift them up just a little to the branch. Her smile is ear to ear. “I see it-the grey pigeon?” “Yeah. Mourning doves. They’re my favorite bird.” She lowers the binoculars, looking over her shoulder at me with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean? They’re grey,” she laughs. “Why not, like, cardinals or blue birds?” I don’t know how to answer that, so I just say, “I don’t know.” The truth is, they are my favorite because they are like me. She brings the binoculars back to her eyes and watches the dove. “Are they called morning doves because they hoot in the morning?” I suck in a deep breath of the crisp air. “Nope. It’s mourning. Grieving. I like to think they’re grieving a lost true love. A Lonesome Dove.” She slowly lowers the binoculars before turning towards me-something deeper in her eyes. “They’re-beautiful.” I nod, taking the binoculars back. “I thought you said they were ugly.” “I never said that. I just said they were grey.” I smile. “Grey’s pretty boring, huh?” That sweet smile spreads on her face again, her eyes lighting up but before she can say anything, I ask, “What’s your favorite bird?” She thinks about it for a second and then shakes her head. “I don’t know. I guess a cardinal. They say every time you see one, it means a lost loved one is watching you.” I nod before pursing my lips and calling a cardinal. She smiles as I do it, probably thinking I am ridiculous. But sure enough, a fat red cardinal lands on the wrought-iron bench to our left, repeating the call back to me. “Look,” I say, turning and pointing at it. “A loved one is visiting you.” She looks at it for a moment. “So you know how to call birds too? Are you The Bird Whisperer?” I chuckle softly, gesturing to the cardinal. “I’ll let the birds answer that one.” Teri shakes her head, laughing again. It’s moments like this that make it hard to remember we’re not together anymore. 10 months ago, we’d have been holding hands right now. Ten months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated to kiss her under the autumn leaves. But ten months ago, there was no Dupree.
Thanks so much for sharing this content with us. I am guilty of using all ten (😢😭😿). I will be more cognizant from now on. Thanks to you, my writing has taken a very positive trajectory. Genuinely appreciative of this🙏🌹🙏
Good list of words to cut. But LOOK could be cut from the second example like this... When dad saw the damage I’d done to his car, there was murder in his eyes. 😉
I figure it would be helpful to make this a habit when writing a first draft. But overall, do you think it's helpful to not stress too much about this on the first draft and more for the editing process? (Especially, if you are really good at "letting the perfect be the enemy of the good" when writing?)
Believe Tell me book, learned in the way All the wisdom you hold The words through your pages Through the ages Beacon of strength and mastery Tell me book, what lesson for today “I bear stories and accounts aplenty Of travels and treasure trove But on this day - look not for the pathway For my pages give in to no words today No quivering soul No foresight nor philosophy Behold the brittled find Today I bring thee token from a fairy A modest garden flower Fragile but not weakly Prized in my folds safely Long ago, awaiting light of day Press it now onto your heart securely Let yesterday live anew today”
Could you please do a series on how one might use Pip Decks. I bought them plus the character set and they seem nice. I’ve read their tutorials and I’m just lost. I don't know what to do with them. You make things makes sense.
Another peril of "because" is when it's paired with "not," which creates ambiguity. "She did not go to the party because of Frank." - Does this mean she went to the party for a reason other than Frank, or does it mean she stayed away from the party because of Frank?
If it's not clear by the context, it could be something like this: She went to the party, not because of Frank, but... Because of Frank, she did not go to the party.
I feel bad when I think I wrote something well and then see that I haven't. I started to wonder why I don't notice it when I'm doing it, because it seems so obvious when there is just somewhat of slightly put-forth effort to be better. I think it's almost definitely self-sabotaging, because the ups and downs of writing looks like it should be easy. I've literally spent hours and hours, just to somewhat understand why I don't get any better, and then it suddenly hits me... I totally suck!
I disagree that saying "climbed up" is an essential use of "up." .......how many directions can someone climb? I mean, MAYBE someone can climb down a tree, but that sounds odd. I feel like someone "skitters" down a tree or something like that. Not "climbs down." Maybe I'm wrong, though. But I see nothing wrong with saying someone climbs the tree or cliff or whatever, without the word "up"
'Because' and 'There Was' are my problem words! I usually catch them during editing but now i have questions to ask myself about them for clarification 😊
It feels odd. I don’t think I’m seeing the problem here. It didn’t occur to me at first, but now I wonder if there was almost a hint. I looked, but I didn’t see it. My thoughts are like an elevator. Going up and down.
I am intending to have my book published this year. I want it to be published in both French and English. Is this possible or not, regarding traditional publishing via a large publishing company.
One exception was well for think is when writing in third person, as it, or some eqivalent, is needed to indicate that the character is thinking anout it, since they're not narrating.
@daliam8715 i think the issue is that there is some bias, since Abbie is probably doing from perspective of someone who primarily writes in first person pov.
@unicorntomboy9736 it's not really a bias. She just doesn't think about third person because she doesn't write about it. This also means that she's not exactly qualified to talk about third person specific writing, which is why advice like that was very obviously pertaining specifically to third person.
@daliam8715 I do wonder why Abbie prefers first person pov as a stylistic choice Vs third person limited. I personally prefer that slight bit of detachment that the latter offers, with the author essentially being a cameraman and director following the protagonist around Vs being the protagonist
@unicorntomboy9736 in terms of general value of it, I think it's just that people can get closer to the character when it's told in first person compared to third person. It also just puts more personality into it and can help you understand a character more. Percy Jackson is a really good example of first person elevating a story. You understand him better by seeing his thoughts and looking at the world the way he does. Third person just doesn't do the same thing. Other very specific uses of third person could be for unreliable narration, or for very stylistic writing like diary entries (Dracula is my favourite example of this). In Abbie's case specifically, besides everything I've already mentioned, it's just the genre. YA is predominantly first-person these days, and as an author who publishes, she needs to keep her audience in mind whenever she writes. For me personally, I don't think any style of narration is better than any other, but rather that different stories and characters benefit from different narration styles.
@daliam8715 My current WiP novel is YA, but it's a grimdark fantasy book, which is in third person limited, which is my preferred style. I find that third person limited lends itself to fantasy and science fiction far more, and is the most common pov for that genre, with some exceptions. It's far easier to communicate things like exposition and worldbuilding lore.
Hey Abbie and other writers! thanks for making great videos! Ive been struggling for a while now with wondering if its even worth it to write my story. I've spent years planning out a series, but debate on whether to write it or not because I'm worried no one will like it. Thoughts? thanks!
I don't know if im gonna get a reply, Um working on a novel ans im right writing a climax, but its quite exhausting and i can't write the scenes, Im a freestyle author, so i can't go with plan, what should I do to feel excited again, cuz i always finish my novel i hush but i want to work on this habit, Im actually a fanfiction writer. Help me please 😢
Is it ok to still use these words when writing in first person since it's like you're reading the characters thoughts, and no one really thinks in perfect grammar either?
Query: Is it acceptable and even remotely effective to utilize all-capitalized sentences every now and then? For example; to emphasize tense situations or things like "I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PEACEFULLY ASSLEEP IN MY CHAMBERS FOR THE NEXT BLISSFUL HOURS, NOT FALLING FROM tHE STRATOSPHERE" I find it rather distasteful but I'm not sure how we can showcase the tension and tone of voice in other ways. Any advice would be highly appreciated.
16:05 Darling.... In both cases some eye expression is used and THAT'S my biggest issue! It’s hard to figure out how to show emotion without some 'eye widened', 'eye dropped', 'something something flashed through her eyes' What to do about it?🙁
16:34 so for an autistic person how can we describe emotions when we go based off vibes in real life? If I’m missing cues all day it’s really challenging to write a character noticing cues that make no sense to me. Like empty eyes… what is empty eyes??
Hi, I'm autistic by myself, but I'm trying to explain it anyway. Having empty eyes is like the moment before falling asleep. You are quiet and stare at the wall just without a thought and without emotions. Everything is just calm in your head. And you don't move at all. Empty eyes look similar to tired eyes. While tired eyes are covered by half the eyelids at least, the empty eyes aren't covered. You can see this by people looking on a spot on a table for example. Not to a cup or something else on the table, they look on this spot on the table. If you then move a cup, they still look to this one spot on the table without moving. This spot can be one of the corners of this table. Another example: someone looks to the sky. Not to the clouds, planes, birds or something else, what moves, they only look to this spot in the sky without moving. It is like being tired and staring at the same boring point for more than five seconds without moving yourself.
I’m always catching myself writing weak words in my novel lol, these videos are definitely helpful! Thanks for showing the moments they are useful in writing though🤍
Hi Abby! I know I’m a bit late to comment on this video, but I have a question for you! I’ve developed good characters with backstories, a strong villain with reasonable motivation (her parents were killed and she had lots of other trauma), and I’ve done enough world building to create a solid, strong world with a magic system and reasonable laws. But I can’t seem to come up with a main plot that fits my characters and my world! Any tips? Thanks!🙂
Bad example: I look at the new Abbie video because I can’t sleep. I feel tired but my mind doesn’t. I think her relaxing voice could solve that though. I wonder if I could drift off to sleep now? Maybe it could also help improve my writing as I sleep, but I don’t know. TURNS INTO: Good example: Abbie’s face appears on screen and interrupts the darkness of my bedroom, illuminating the night-choked walls. My hands cradle the phone. I hope her soft voice will be enough to hush my busied brain. Eyes stinging with exhaustion, I nestle into my duvet, placing my phone on the night stand. Will she send me to sleep? And come dawn, will I be a better writer?
Pls help! This week, I bought Scrivener and the themes to import but for some reason the picture behind the main editor isn't sized right? (Not sure if that's the problem.)There's a "tile" effect at the top and on the side. How do I fix this?
AskAbbie Hi abbie im writing this book where my MC 's love dies and he has to move on and fall in love with the actual love interest. But the problem is my mc is VeERY depressed after her death and i don't know how to make him refall into love without doubting himself. Also im not sure how the other girl is going to fall in love with him bc she knows that he had massive feelings for the previous love interest. They're also are enemies to lovers so that makes everything a whole more complicated. Please someone help😢
❌️Find the 10 mistakes I feel I think I see all the mistakes in this paragraph. I wonder that I didn't write smooth prose. Julie almost cringed while reading the mess there was as she scrolled down because it looks like a really sloppy writing.
DOWNLOAD THE PDF GUIDE 👉20 WEAK WORDS TO CUT FROM YOUR NOVEL: abbieemmonsauthor.com/store/build-your-own-comfort-book-printable-brainstorm-guide-yb2xd
@@AbbieEmmons Thanks a lot ❤️, your videos helps me a lot ❤️
And now, I shall rewrite my entire novel. . .
All writing is re-writing. In my now-years of experience and counting, the revision process is where the true magic occurs.
Relatable 😂
😢
Story of my life 😅
May the Force be with you while you're doing that.
These are all tricky and I’m glad you covered caveats, especially for “looks.” At one point my writing was bloating, but when I read a book that just straight up said “looks” all the time, I realized how refreshing it can be to be direct. Everything in moderation.
So true! There is always a caveat, that's why editing is such a painstaking process 😅
This is the best RUclips channel ever! Thanks, Abbie. You’re always helping.
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you've been enjoying my videos 💗😌
I just recently realized that (Desire) + but (fear) + because (Missbelief) = internal conflict
🤯
omg I just realized everything I write is filled with these words (especially think and see)! 😭 Thanks Abbie!!
I'm glad this video was insightful for you! Thank you for watching and good luck with your edits! 😁
Because used to be a weak word I used years ago, but after doing a word search in my current manuscript, "There was" is my new weak word. 🥴welp lemme get to work on editing this. Thanks Abbie!
Abbie you’ve helped me make my writing so much better looking at og drafts to what I have now it sounds like a completely different author
That's such a compliment, thank you! I'm so happy my videos have been inspiring and helpful to you 💗
"There was" is definitely my guilty pleasure. I usually write stories with deeper themes (for example free will in the context of God's sovereignty) and subconsciously find myself using it as a crutch in more moody scenes. I'm still working on my first draft but will 100% be keeping an eye out for these words during my editing phase.
I'm happy to be here! You have no idea how helpful your videos have been! I wrote 37 newspaper articles during my 2019 Appalachian Trail Thru-Hike (1,100 words each), winning 2nd place at the NCPRESS Awards in 2020. I'm struggling with imposter syndrome & trying to shake it off to get the book started. I'm binge watching your helpful videos now. Research, right? Lol
I started writing my first ever novel from this year. Your videos help a lot. Thank you.
I would like to add a note : This video does not mean these words are useless and should be avoided at all costs. It just means that these should be used in moderation.
Be careful! These words can be useful in certain contexts! But for the most part, if the sentence doesn't lose value when removing them, then remove it, but sometime for poetic flow, or even simple, concrete language, these words won't ruin your novel. Here's an example with the word 'think' from one of my projects:
"This room is nice, I think. Sweet of her to give it to me, generous even. What a thoughtful person to think of such a need, about a girl who lives on her own... and coming to my rescue when I needed it the most.
Nice of her, I think."
Hope this helps! 😄
this is exactly what I was thinking! I use "weak" words like these specifically for the fact that they're weaker and less harsh than others, to showcase that the character is thinking softly/fondly about something, or that they're disconnected from reality, etc. because really, sometimes, the scene isn't active and the character is lost inside their thoughts and mind. or maybe, the actual purpose of what these types of words are usually used for, they're actually unsure about themselves.
(by the way, I know she discusses all the possibilities that I mention, but normally when I watch these kinds of videos I read the comments to see if the video actually gives good advice so I read this before watching the video to that extent.)
Thanks so much Abbie!! Both of your videos about weak words have helped me so much in forcing me to show not tell, which is something I really struggle with ;) I really appreciate it.
This is super helpful, Abbie! I appreciate the clear examples for both the instances of cutting out weak works and for the instances in which they’re useful.
You're glowing Abbie!!
Hi Abby! I’ve read your book the best Christmas ever (I’m from Poland 🇵🇱) and I love it so much it is a dream to have a relationship like that and specially with Weston🤭 thank you so much for this books and videos I wish you luck! Love u and ur books🫶
I recommend reading The Otherworld, if you have not already. I loved it, Adam was my favourite character in the entire book. I always imagined him looking like Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 4 as I was reading it
Just got your weak words PDF and looking forward to leveling up my manuscript. You're the best, Abbie!
Thanks Abbie, I just started researching for my second novel, so I am happy to hear this before I start!
And now, I have to cut some words from my project, thank you Abbie for all you do.
i'd known about all the rest, but the mentions of 'didn't' and 'because' gave me a lot of food for thought. i had never considered the fact that they might weaken writing by using more words than are actually needed. thanks for the vid!
Thanks for this! Your videos are high quality and your research is always a huge help.
I'm writing fan fiction for an online group. My 20-year-old college student narrator has an informal yet grammatically correct voice. I used your first list of 10 weak words, and I plan to use the second list that you've presented in this video. (Confession: I've used other such lists, too.) Eliminating these words has helped me reconstruct my main character's sentences in a much better way. However, as you are saying in the introduction to this video, not every weak word needs to be cut, especially in dialogue. My point is, first-person writing is all dialogue in the sense that it is the story "spoken" to the reader. I can delete 90% of weak words, but to take them all out requires the narrator to change his voice according to how he speaks in the original books (wherein he is a teenager). Just wanted to express this. Thanks for all your guiding help.
Thank you, Abby! These videos are so useful for a beginner like me. You should do more videos regarding writing skills and prose, as I always battle with it and I try not to fall into the terrible pretty prose lol
Had to go back and check, because I couldn't believe NONE of these were in the first video. The examples are so effective! Gonna have to watch out for these words in the future! 👀
Thanks so much for another excellent broadcast, and the Weak Words guide. It is really helping me today as I write, I am suddenly much more mindful of how I'm saying what I say and making it more active. Great techniqes.
This has been extremely helpful. Thank you wholeheartedly!
I definitely use there was ... and LOT. This is so helpful! Thanks Abbie!
Great advice, Abbie! Thanks for this video. I bet a lot of writers are going to be going on the hunt for these words now. Ctrl+F all the way!
This was so helpful! I'm guilty of because and looks and I know it's weak but sometimes I just use until I can think of a accurate way to say it lol. Thank you!
Way to call me out! Haha... I'm a new writer, and I struggle with most of these, especially
" There was/is." I feel like I've learned some great information here. I'm off to watch more of your videos now!
Pretty in pink, I love your eyelashes.
I'm not first, Abbie but I've been a huge fan and thank you for guiding me you give me motivation to write ❤
As a aspiring writer (who's struggling with the writing part) I feel like I have to write my book in past-tense format. Like it won't be a good book without.
But Abbie could take all these words and make a phenomenal scene! 🩷👍
Just checked the book I'm working on -- happy that I won't need to rewrite to avoid these terms.
Sublime work as usual, thank you for the information.
Phenomenal, Abbie! Thank you. ❤
Thanks for the video Abbie! ❤
Very helpful! Thank you Abbie!
Heyyy I've a request could you please make a video on how to write characters smarter than you specially the protagonist!!
Dear Abbie Emmons,
Hey, I’m Jennifer Beckwith, and first off, I gotta say-you are incredible. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever read stories that hit me quite like yours do. I mean, I tore through 100 Days of Sunlight in just a few hours. It was late, I was tired, but did that stop me? No way. I was up till 2:00 in the morning because I just had to know what happened with Tessa and Weston. And let me tell ya-I totally fell in love with both of them.
Which brings me to this. I’ve been writing for about eight years now-pretty wild, right? I’ll be 15 in February, and I’ve been following your channel for a couple of years. And when I say this, I mean it-you are the reason I finished my novel. Like, no joke. I haven’t published it just yet, but I’m so close. I’m using KDP, and I literally just ordered two proof copies off Amazon-one for me, one for my dad. And honestly, none of this would have happened without you.
The book’s called "Dupree to Be: Love’s a Mess. Family’s Messier". It’s a romantic dramedy, and writing it was an absolute blast. Once it’s out-which should be in the next month or two-I’d love for you to check it out! Oh, and I put you in the acknowledgments, because, well, obviously.
But seriously-oh my goodness-I can’t believe I’m actually gonna hold my own book. And I couldn’t have done it without you. Here’s a little excerpt-I’d love to hear what you think!
Chapter 1: Derek Daley
Central Park was practically glowing, the afternoon light slicing through the amber leaves and bathing everything in cinematic brilliance. If my life were a rom-com-and let’s face it, it’s been more “rom” than “com” lately-this would be the part where the protagonist finally gets his act together.
Except, of course, I’m not the protagonist. I’m the ex.
Teri Burnes walks beside me, effortlessly radiant. She’s not just beautiful-she’s the kind of gorgeous that should come with a warning label. Like, “Caution: May cause spontaneous poetry or the inability to form coherent sentences.” Today, her blonde hair, which she usually ties up like some kind of corporate goddess, is loose, cascading down her back in soft waves that shimmer in the October sun. Her olive-green sweater hugs her perfectly, paired with jeans that look like they’ve been through a thousand wash cycles and still manage to outshine anything in my closet.
And then there’s the ring.
Silver. Dainty. Just flashy enough to scream, “Taken.”
It’s on that finger, and every time it catches the light, it feels like it’s mocking me. I can almost hear it whisper, Not yours, Derek. Not yours.
I was strolling through this very same park the day I met her about a year ago, except I had my Labrador, Waffles, with me that day. He was at my side, sniffing the wet leaves and yanking me off the trail multiple times. But he is loyal and loves me to the point it gets annoying when he demands me to pet him when I’m barely awake and still sipping coffee strong enough to jumpstart a tractor. I had the custom-made leather leash in my hand, and my dark hair was tousled by the chilly breeze before I caught sight of Teri just off the side of the trail, a canvas set up on a tripod. On that canvas was a beautiful painting of the cherry tree in front of her, the vibrant colors contrasting the present winter grey that had turned everything dull-and as any single thirty-year-old guy would think, could you ask for a better ice-breaker?
I remember everything from that fateful day in December. My stomach was in knots, but I knew if I went home without talking to this angel of a woman, it would be on my list of Major Life Regrets.
“Wow. I’ve never seen something more incredibly beautiful,” was my first sentence to her as I struggled to keep Waffles from barreling towards her and laying her flat.
And when she looked up at me, her long eyelashes fluttered, and I could tell her stomach jumped into her mouth when she saw me. I never thought I was much to look at, but she liked me anyway. She turned towards me slightly, eyes darting between me and the painting.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ve worked pretty hard on it,” she breathed before dipping the brush in the blue paint. She swiped the brush across the top of the canvas a few times-and it appeared like magic. Sky.
I grinned, yanking Waffles back towards me, but my eyes never left her beautiful face.
Oh no. I’m staring, I thought.
“I was talking about you, I mean,” I told her, finally gesturing to her beautiful face.
What followed was three months of something close to magic. We clicked instantly-her dry wit balancing out my tendency to overthink everything. She worked as a waitress at Manhatta, a fancy restaurant with skyline views, and I started showing up every day at 4 p.m., pretending I wasn’t there just to see her.
She’d argue when I tipped her $100, her eyes narrowing in that cute, indignant way of hers. “Derek, this is ridiculous.”
And I’d shrug. “What? I’m trying to make sure you don’t starve.”
Things were good. Until they weren’t.
By month three, I could feel her pulling away. The texts got shorter, the phone calls less frequent. Then one night, over what was supposed to be a romantic dinner, she told me she loved me. But not the way I loved her.
“I just don’t think it’s fair to either of us,” she’d said, her voice breaking. “You deserve someone who... loves you the way you love them.”
“So,” Teri says, snapping me out of my thoughts, her eyes glinting with mischief, “how are the birds today?”
She’s teasing, of course. She thinks my recent hobby of bird watching is adorable-a word no man in his thirties ever wants to hear. I glance down at my shoes, watching the leaves crunch beneath them. “Oh, you know. They’re... out there. Doing bird things.”
Just then the unmistakable, sorrowful call of a mourning dove echoes through the trees. I quickly lift my binoculars to my eyes and look toward the treetops, sweeping back and forth before finding the dove that sits alone on the branch of a red oak. It bobs its head a few times before making the call again.
“That’s a mourning dove.”
She lifts her chin, eyes squinting at the trees. “Where?”
I step behind her and for a moment, picture myself wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. Instead I reach around and hold the binoculars in front of her face. “Here, grab these. Look up to that red oak right there. It’s sitting on the branch second from the highest.”
I know she tenses slightly when I step behind her. There is no mistake-she knows a part of me will never let her go. She loosely wraps her hands around the binoculars, holding them tighter to her eyes as I stand behind her, hands lightly lingering on her wrists. I lift them up just a little to the branch.
Her smile is ear to ear. “I see it-the grey pigeon?”
“Yeah. Mourning doves. They’re my favorite bird.”
She lowers the binoculars, looking over her shoulder at me with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean? They’re grey,” she laughs. “Why not, like, cardinals or blue birds?”
I don’t know how to answer that, so I just say, “I don’t know.” The truth is, they are my favorite because they are like me.
She brings the binoculars back to her eyes and watches the dove. “Are they called morning doves because they hoot in the morning?”
I suck in a deep breath of the crisp air. “Nope. It’s mourning. Grieving. I like to think they’re grieving a lost true love. A Lonesome Dove.”
She slowly lowers the binoculars before turning towards me-something deeper in her eyes. “They’re-beautiful.”
I nod, taking the binoculars back. “I thought you said they were ugly.”
“I never said that. I just said they were grey.”
I smile. “Grey’s pretty boring, huh?”
That sweet smile spreads on her face again, her eyes lighting up but before she can say anything, I ask, “What’s your favorite bird?”
She thinks about it for a second and then shakes her head. “I don’t know. I guess a cardinal. They say every time you see one, it means a lost loved one is watching you.”
I nod before pursing my lips and calling a cardinal. She smiles as I do it, probably thinking I am ridiculous. But sure enough, a fat red cardinal lands on the wrought-iron bench to our left, repeating the call back to me.
“Look,” I say, turning and pointing at it. “A loved one is visiting you.”
She looks at it for a moment. “So you know how to call birds too? Are you The Bird Whisperer?”
I chuckle softly, gesturing to the cardinal. “I’ll let the birds answer that one.”
Teri shakes her head, laughing again. It’s moments like this that make it hard to remember we’re not together anymore. 10 months ago, we’d have been holding hands right now. Ten months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated to kiss her under the autumn leaves.
But ten months ago, there was no Dupree.
I just think "just" is my worst habit.
Thanks so much for sharing this content with us. I am guilty of using all ten (😢😭😿). I will be more cognizant from now on. Thanks to you, my writing has taken a very positive trajectory. Genuinely appreciative of this🙏🌹🙏
Excellent advice - thank you!
Good list of words to cut. But LOOK could be cut from the second example like this...
When dad saw the damage I’d done to his car, there was murder in his eyes. 😉
7:27 I do say "I wonder" in my head a lot though...
I overuse all of these words. Thanks for these tips. I will try my best to cut out these words when I edit my current novel
Great video, the first one too. One more words to avoid in your narrative - actually.
Great Video!!!
Excellent content and presentation.
Thank You Abbie. “Rock On”!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
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Fantastic, thanks for sharing, hope you're doing great.
Thank you so much Abbie! I think my worst is "because" XD.
Yay! New video!!! ❤❤❤
abbieee!!!! You r awesome!
I figure it would be helpful to make this a habit when writing a first draft. But overall, do you think it's helpful to not stress too much about this on the first draft and more for the editing process? (Especially, if you are really good at "letting the perfect be the enemy of the good" when writing?)
Yayy Abbie video!!
This is one of those books you wish you'd found sooner The Censored Guide to Wealth on Bovolorus is amazing
Believe
Tell me book, learned in the way
All the wisdom you hold
The words through your pages
Through the ages
Beacon of strength and mastery
Tell me book, what lesson for today
“I bear stories and accounts aplenty
Of travels and treasure trove
But on this day - look not for the pathway
For my pages give in to no words today
No quivering soul
No foresight nor philosophy
Behold the brittled find
Today I bring thee token from a fairy
A modest garden flower
Fragile but not weakly
Prized in my folds safely
Long ago, awaiting light of day
Press it now onto your heart securely
Let yesterday live anew today”
Could you please do a series on how one might use Pip Decks. I bought them plus the character set and they seem nice. I’ve read their tutorials and I’m just lost. I don't know what to do with them. You make things makes sense.
Thanks, Abbie!
I just wrote these all on a sticky note and stuck it to my wall for future reference 👍
Another peril of "because" is when it's paired with "not," which creates ambiguity.
"She did not go to the party because of Frank." - Does this mean she went to the party for a reason other than Frank, or does it mean she stayed away from the party because of Frank?
If it's not clear by the context, it could be something like this:
She went to the party, not because of Frank, but...
Because of Frank, she did not go to the party.
@ Those are clear. We just have to be careful when those two words occupy the same sentence.
I feel bad when I think I wrote something well and then see that I haven't. I started to wonder why I don't notice it when I'm doing it, because it seems so obvious when there is just somewhat of slightly put-forth effort to be better. I think it's almost definitely self-sabotaging, because the ups and downs of writing looks like it should be easy. I've literally spent hours and hours, just to somewhat understand why I don't get any better, and then it suddenly hits me... I totally suck!
New book when? 😢 i need new books from you, queen your books are life changing😊
I disagree that saying "climbed up" is an essential use of "up." .......how many directions can someone climb? I mean, MAYBE someone can climb down a tree, but that sounds odd. I feel like someone "skitters" down a tree or something like that. Not "climbs down." Maybe I'm wrong, though. But I see nothing wrong with saying someone climbs the tree or cliff or whatever, without the word "up"
'Because' and 'There Was' are my problem words! I usually catch them during editing but now i have questions to ask myself about them for clarification 😊
Where does everyone ask Abbie a question and she answers it in those short videos? Thanks!
It feels odd. I don’t think I’m seeing the problem here. It didn’t occur to me at first, but now I wonder if there was almost a hint. I looked, but I didn’t see it. My thoughts are like an elevator. Going up and down.
I use 'thinks' way to much in the context of 'The shirt he is wearing today is really cool, Alice thinks'
I am intending to have my book published this year. I want it to be published in both French and English. Is this possible or not, regarding traditional publishing via a large publishing company.
One exception was well for think is when writing in third person, as it, or some eqivalent, is needed to indicate that the character is thinking anout it, since they're not narrating.
@daliam8715 i think the issue is that there is some bias, since Abbie is probably doing from perspective of someone who primarily writes in first person pov.
@unicorntomboy9736 it's not really a bias. She just doesn't think about third person because she doesn't write about it. This also means that she's not exactly qualified to talk about third person specific writing, which is why advice like that was very obviously pertaining specifically to third person.
@daliam8715 I do wonder why Abbie prefers first person pov as a stylistic choice Vs third person limited. I personally prefer that slight bit of detachment that the latter offers, with the author essentially being a cameraman and director following the protagonist around Vs being the protagonist
@unicorntomboy9736 in terms of general value of it, I think it's just that people can get closer to the character when it's told in first person compared to third person. It also just puts more personality into it and can help you understand a character more. Percy Jackson is a really good example of first person elevating a story. You understand him better by seeing his thoughts and looking at the world the way he does. Third person just doesn't do the same thing. Other very specific uses of third person could be for unreliable narration, or for very stylistic writing like diary entries (Dracula is my favourite example of this). In Abbie's case specifically, besides everything I've already mentioned, it's just the genre. YA is predominantly first-person these days, and as an author who publishes, she needs to keep her audience in mind whenever she writes.
For me personally, I don't think any style of narration is better than any other, but rather that different stories and characters benefit from different narration styles.
@daliam8715 My current WiP novel is YA, but it's a grimdark fantasy book, which is in third person limited, which is my preferred style. I find that third person limited lends itself to fantasy and science fiction far more, and is the most common pov for that genre, with some exceptions. It's far easier to communicate things like exposition and worldbuilding lore.
Excellent video lesson.
However, I wonder if it's because I think I feel you are the first woman I've seen who told me not to think and feel.
I think you don’t see when I feel down, because it almost looks like you wonder if there was a mouse in the cheese.
Just used it all in a sentence.
Hey Abbie and other writers! thanks for making great videos! Ive been struggling for a while now with wondering if its even worth it to write my story. I've spent years planning out a series, but debate on whether to write it or not because I'm worried no one will like it. Thoughts? thanks!
What about ‘still’ and ‘also’?
"There is a time and place for 'there was' and 'there is'."
I see what you did there ;)
I don't know if im gonna get a reply, Um working on a novel ans im right writing a climax, but its quite exhausting and i can't write the scenes, Im a freestyle author, so i can't go with plan, what should I do to feel excited again, cuz i always finish my novel i hush but i want to work on this habit, Im actually a fanfiction writer. Help me please 😢
Is it ok to still use these words when writing in first person since it's like you're reading the characters thoughts, and no one really thinks in perfect grammar either?
Good advice
😜
I think I don't do a lot of these!😂 seriously though, thanks as always 😊
Query: Is it acceptable and even remotely effective to utilize all-capitalized sentences every now and then? For example; to emphasize tense situations or things like "I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PEACEFULLY ASSLEEP IN MY CHAMBERS FOR THE NEXT BLISSFUL HOURS, NOT FALLING FROM tHE STRATOSPHERE" I find it rather distasteful but I'm not sure how we can showcase the tension and tone of voice in other ways. Any advice would be highly appreciated.
Ugh... Because is the worst to try and avoid. I use it way to much!
16:05 Darling.... In both cases some eye expression is used and THAT'S my biggest issue! It’s hard to figure out how to show emotion without some 'eye widened', 'eye dropped', 'something something flashed through her eyes'
What to do about it?🙁
i definitely use 'looks' and 'see' subconsciously.
16:34 so for an autistic person how can we describe emotions when we go based off vibes in real life? If I’m missing cues all day it’s really challenging to write a character noticing cues that make no sense to me. Like empty eyes… what is empty eyes??
Hi, I'm autistic by myself, but I'm trying to explain it anyway. Having empty eyes is like the moment before falling asleep. You are quiet and stare at the wall just without a thought and without emotions. Everything is just calm in your head. And you don't move at all. Empty eyes look similar to tired eyes. While tired eyes are covered by half the eyelids at least, the empty eyes aren't covered. You can see this by people looking on a spot on a table for example. Not to a cup or something else on the table, they look on this spot on the table. If you then move a cup, they still look to this one spot on the table without moving. This spot can be one of the corners of this table. Another example: someone looks to the sky. Not to the clouds, planes, birds or something else, what moves, they only look to this spot in the sky without moving. It is like being tired and staring at the same boring point for more than five seconds without moving yourself.
It's hilarious how many times the filler words got used to describe how and why the filler word is bad
finally a revamp!
Question, do you also speak on writing scripts or only novels?
I’m always catching myself writing weak words in my novel lol, these videos are definitely helpful! Thanks for showing the moments they are useful in writing though🤍
Hi Abby! I know I’m a bit late to comment on this video, but I have a question for you! I’ve developed good characters with backstories, a strong villain with reasonable motivation (her parents were killed and she had lots of other trauma), and I’ve done enough world building to create a solid, strong world with a magic system and reasonable laws. But I can’t seem to come up with a main plot that fits my characters and my world! Any tips? Thanks!🙂
Abbie - maybe I'm thinking of someone else but do you offer a self publishing course of some kind?
How bout in the third person pov?
Sometimes 'Looks' can be deceiving, though.
I'll let myself out.
Bad example:
I look at the new Abbie video because I can’t sleep. I feel tired but my mind doesn’t. I think her relaxing voice could solve that though. I wonder if I could drift off to sleep now? Maybe it could also help improve my writing as I sleep, but I don’t know.
TURNS INTO:
Good example:
Abbie’s face appears on screen and interrupts the darkness of my bedroom, illuminating the night-choked walls. My hands cradle the phone. I hope her soft voice will be enough to hush my busied brain. Eyes stinging with exhaustion, I nestle into my duvet, placing my phone on the night stand. Will she send me to sleep? And come dawn, will I be a better writer?
Hey Abbie, I was wondering if you could do a video on Western genres, or even on different genres you have dove into. #AbbieEmmons
Not sure who needs to hear this, but book titled Guarded Laws of Money Manifestation is the hidden gem you’ve been missing
Pls help! This week, I bought Scrivener and the themes to import but for some reason the picture behind the main editor isn't sized right? (Not sure if that's the problem.)There's a "tile" effect at the top and on the side. How do I fix this?
AskAbbie Hi abbie im writing this book where my MC 's love dies and he has to move on and fall in love with the actual love interest. But the problem is my mc is VeERY depressed after her death and i don't know how to make him refall into love without doubting himself. Also im not sure how the other girl is going to fall in love with him bc she knows that he had massive feelings for the previous love interest. They're also are enemies to lovers so that makes everything a whole more complicated. Please someone help😢
I need so much help with descriptions. That's my biggest problem.
❌️Find the 10 mistakes
I feel I think I see all the mistakes in this paragraph. I wonder that I didn't write smooth prose. Julie almost cringed while reading the mess there was as she scrolled down because it looks like a really sloppy writing.