I was struggling with an emotional scene in my story where the main character breaks down in tears after his friend wakes up from a coma. Changed it from "only now, he realized how much had depended on the boy surviving" to his inner thoughts "Stop crying you idiot. He made it. He's gonna be alright." Thank you :))
The telling version is actually a really good way to start if you just need to get the scene out of your head. It gives you a nice guide. Then you can go back and say “how can I show this?”
I usually think about how I'd get to know someone in real life. A person wouldn't tell me they have anxiety because of their critical parents but I might conclude this based on their body language, how they respond to social situations and authority, through their people pleasing methods, etc. And from there it's easy to imagine situations that challenge their fears and misbeliefs and help them grow, like finally standing up to someone who has taken advantage of them.
It depends on the character and the point of view of the story. Some people are extremely open and will tell you outright they have anxiety. Some you have to force it out of them. Others will avoid admitting it all all costs and every other variant in between. Also, it's extremely common for body language to not match thoughts. Body language is a pseudo science for a reason.
I think this "show not tell" guide of yours is the best one so far. All of the other ones I've read online, while they're all good, they're all almost the same, especially examples like this: Tell: She was cold. Show: She shivered, hugging her coat tightly around her, her breath visible in the frosty air. Every guide featured the exact same or extremely similar examples for show vs. tell, even if they are still excellent examples. Your examples on this topic differ from those in previous "show not tell" examples, I truly enjoyed reading them in this video. I really liked the way you explained why the tell excerpt was not as excellent as the show excerpt and why your show excerpt was superior. I now have more options thanks to this. These I will definitely write down in my notes. I really enjoyed your examples of show versus tell. I have learned a lot from occasionally binge-watching your videos because they are always so insightful.
A Ted-Ed video about writing vividly made me realize that these examples suggest the antidote for terse literalism is... more literalism. See "she was sad," and "she cried," are so closely related as to be virtually indistinguishable, so it has to be, "she wailed, tears streaming down her reddened face, from weary eyes, crusted and red." certainly nothing over the top about that either. When it could be something like "Her thoughts drifted back to the last Kauai bird, and its haunting call for a mate that would never come. Those were her dreams. A half remembered cry to a lost future. It went not unheard. Life surrounds, and not a single hope for the songbird." I'm not saying it's great or anything, but they give you no impression that you can even do this. It's all "she clinged" this and "her eyes" that.
@@arfenmalik1717 It's just an example, I deprived it of some context for brevity's sake. There was a certain type of endagnered songbird, around the 1980's someone managed to record the mating call of the last known survivor of the species - life moves on, but no one ever heard that call again. Since it's not from any real story the only conscious decision I made was to not make it about loneliness. It affects loneliness, because that how hopelessness feels, but the hypothetical character is pining for a lost future, of a personal nature, not an intimate partnership. Which is too easy, I think
Before I started watch Abbie, my writing was a mess. I didn’t know ANY story structures and I was a TOTAL PANSTER I thought I was wrapping up my very first story 🎉 until I realized my villain I had in my head wasn’t introduced yet. So… long story short, he ended up being introduced on page 100😅. But thanks to Abbie, I’m outlining my next story with the 3 act story structure. Now my characters have fears, misbeliefs, and desires. Now my story’s character driven not plot driven. THANK YOU SO MUCH ABBIE. You saved my writing career.
I know right? I was also so lost, and pantsing was the only thing I knew. Now, it's all organized and I will NEVER go back to pantsing, for I have become OBSESSED with plotting
There's nothing wrong with being a pantser. I can pants the first quarter or so of a book and it'll turn out usable but after that I'll need some kind of road map. People who think plotting is better than pantsing genuinely annoy the hell out of me, don't fall for that, so if you ever end up stuck in an outline, forget it, just write. No one cares how you get your words onto the page as long as those words form a good story.
There’s nothing wrong with being a pantser if you’re truly one, but don’t call yourself a pantser if you’re just disorganized or don’t know what you’re doing.
Guys, am I going crazy? I feel like both the "tell" example and "Show example" about Orca made me sink into the story already. I liked both approaches 😭 Also, my favourite way of showing and not telling is the use of fragmented sentences when the character is being hit hard with a "truth" or in a life-and-death situation, showcasing their confusion and difficulty in grasping whatever is happening! (Wait, is this even a thing?)
You're definitely not crazy 😁 I think that just goes to show even a telling paragraph can be effective if you have an interesting premise and strong prose! Rather than being downright bad, the point seems to be that the 'telling' style can make the character sound unnaturally self aware. It can also kill some of the reader's engagement, since you're not leaving them room to use their big brains for interpretation 🧠
i get what you mean. but the showing version is js info dumping. even if you get immersed, it isn't that realistic bc that's not how humans act. and like abbie said, why would orca know all of that anyways. when i read studd like that i js cringe bc they're telling us sm. u want to be as realistic as possible.
@@Lia_michelin143 I agree, so much telling in the introduction paragraph of a narrative with a limited narrator (Orca) doesn't make a lot of sense. But I think there are cases where leaning into a 'telling' style can work, because the narrator is omniscient (something like death narrating The Book Thief). In such a case, having an unrealistic 'voice' can make narrative sense and add an interesting style!
Like many techniques in writing, show don't tell isn't a universal principle. It is a method of focusing on certain parts of the story. It isn't appropriate in every situation. As a writer you would need to understand the pacing of your particular story to know when showing is appropriate and when telling is, and indeed sometimes both of them can work quite well.
I've always dreamed of publishing a novel and I've tried several times to write a story. I feel like I have very good ideas, but I'm never sure about to build them up. I discovered this channel by accident and I was watching this video. When she gets to the part where she says "if you made it this far, I know that you're serious about your writing", I almost cried because I realized that I'm deadly serious about writing. I want to create stories and allow people to dive into different worlds and situations through my writing. Thanks for creating these contents, it really inspired me to chase that dream.
Yes!! You can do it! It took even Tolkien 17 years to write Lord of the Rings, and the world wouldn’t be quite as magical without that work in it. I’m sure you have amazing ideas and great potential novels, maybe you’ll even be a best seller one day! Keep believing in yourself, and I wish you the best of luck on your writing journey! ❤🎉✍️📝📖📚
I once wrote down all four basic emotions (anger, fear, sadness and happiness) on a piece of paper each and wrote down body language for each of them, for both humans and wolves (as both are important to my story). Sometimes I look up synonyms for words to have some more variety in describing certain things.
I like to continue the struggle of the character's even after they break their misconception. Pam was so happy to have met Jim and Eve. She knew that other souls had strong feelings about her ideas. She came back home and started scribbling notes about her next story. She remembered when her mother came to her room during college days. "What are you writing?" Pam,"Just a story..." Mom"Well, you know that having a writers life is not why we are paying for your college ?" Pam."I don't want to make a career in writing. My teachers told me I should improve my English." She was holding her pen tightly and angered that her inspiration was lost again with a past memory. She tried focusing on Jim and Eve. How they were reminding themselves of past books they enjoyed . "Jim, do you remember that author ...."
Pam parts ways with Jim and Eve. Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. The sun's warm, bright rays kisses her skin, the wind stirs her hair, and the world, with all its greens and blues and reds and violets has never appeared so bright. It was as if, at this moment, the colours she had only seen through her eyes finally connected with her heart. She even wants to scream and laugh. But Pam will bottle it all up, every single flutter in her chest, and release it through her pen. With lightened steps, Pam rushes home, rushing up the rickety wooden steps with wild abandon, swinging open the familiar shape of her door. She abandons her bag in a heap at her feet, quickly scooping out her trusty worn notebook and pencil and leans over her desk, barely paying mind to sit down. Scritch, scritch, scritch. The pen moves across the notebook frantically, and the owner, transfixed, does not notice the beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. Her heart, that has never calmed down once, orders her hand to continue moving, faster and faster, for it will never be quick enough to write all she wishes to create. SNAP! A black smudge appears over the half-written word. Pam is forced to come to a stop as the pencil gives way, its lead piece rolling off the table. She reaches over to grab it and dispose it into the garbage before grabbing her pencil sharpener so she can continue writing. However, it is this pause in writing that let thoughts have the chance to slip through the cracks and gaps. As the fragments of pencil chips sprinkle down from the pencil sharpener into the waiting maws of the garbage can below her, Pam suddenly recalls an old memory. ("What are you writing?") It was her mother's voice. How had Pam replied then? Oh yes. ("Just a story.") She had curled protectively over her writing then, covering it up from her mother's eyes. At that time, it was during her early college days, when Pam's mother entered the room to see what Pam was doing. ("Well, you should know that we're not paying your tuition so you can be a writer?") A scowl. That was all it took before trepidation had overtaken Pam's heart. A single dip in the eyebrows, and the down-turning of the lips from her mother. She feared her parent's disproval the most. So Pam had replied, ("I'm not thinking of becoming a writer...just that my professors suggested having an improved writing skill would be beneficial in any career.") It was a lie. A lie that took root in her heart and snuffed out all the hope that her parents would understand, and a denial of her dreams. After that, Pam learned to hide her writing, hide her passion, and bury her writer's soul under a lonely banner. She strove instead to be the perfect daughter, and to pursue the career her parents wanted her to do. Just like now. Pam finishes sharpening her pencil, but as the tip touches the notebook's page, it stills, and Pam is unable to make her imprint. She grips her pencil tightly, as if trying to snap it in half, before loosening her hold, and letting the pencil drop onto the notebook. There, she snaps the notebook shut and pushes it to the corner of her desk. There, she stares at it, her earlier exuberant mood bubbling to nothingness. The table, the flower wallpaper, the notebook, and the pen all return to their former colours. Pam pulls out her laptop, ready to finish her class assignments. Writing would have to wait.
Some of us know our internal struggles, but not what to do about it: "I know I"m this way, but how can I change?" Any suggestions, from oneself or others never seem like they'll work. They can't imagine accomplishing the goal. the Misbelief: it'll never happen; I can't. It's too confusing, overwhelming, scary, whatever.
It’s not show, don’t tell. It’s show, tell, ignore. You showed Orca’s emotion, you told the reader she belongs on the ocean floor via dialogue, and you ignored a huge section of time where she aged. Good writing incorporates all three.
I cannot believe it has only been a month since this video's release. It has stuck in my mind like gum on the bottom of a shoe. Lol. I was so proud of getting 2023's NaNoWriMo completed. I had a great book. Then, I started getting all these videos on "Show, Don't Tell." Out of all the videos, only yours gave a concrete example. I still remember my first thought after you gave the second example, showing the difference. Sonofa...I just wrote what is essentially a 60k outline!!! What?! Guess what I've been doing the past couple of months. Expanding on my "outline." Thank you for giving an example so I could understand the difference. It has sure helped immensely!
Hi Abbie, hope you are well. Thank you for this video, very informative. Wish I could take your live training but living in a nursing home they take the money. My book is a fantasy novel and I am just wrapping up the outline then will be writing it out. Thanks again and cant wait for your next VOD.
I think the key is in the observation that showing is allowing the reader to be emotionally involved in the scene. Show don't tell is not a universal, one size fits all technique. It is, like most other things with writing, an artistic choice. Sometimes you should tell instead of showing. For instance, if Bob is going to bed after a long day, you would probably just write that Bob was tired and went to bed. Unless Bob being tired and going to bed is significant, showing is inappropriate, as it puts emphasis and emotion into something that should be a quick footnote.
channels like this are super helpful for me rn; i'm trying to plan out a manga based on some story i started thinking about when i was like 11 (so you know how that started) so ive been looking at all these videos to make it into an actual story, since i feel like i haven't got a good grasp on how to write and if i don't by the time i make it the critics might find it and tear it apart for flaws i never knew existed
That's awesome that you're motivated again! As helpful as I find these videos I seem to get caught up in "it has to be perfect and has to have blah blah blah in it cause Abbie said so" my point being don't watch to many writing videos at one time cause you could get caught up in the technical and forget that your doing this for fun as well What's the plot for the manga?
@@OneLuckyLizard plot is all over the place right now; the character goes through so many different setting changes and tone changes that i'd be here forever trying to explain it lol though with what i'm trying to do with the character is to show how she changes to react to her current situation, at one point actually becoming a worse person than she was before due to the circumstances so i think that might be an interesting thing to work with
Thank you. Those two examples really clarified the difference between show and tell. Your 2nd example showed us what the other world was like from 2 different perspectives and told us about the characters of the girl and her dad and revealed the conflict between them and got the reader wondering "what is going to happen here?". The first example actually revealed less while, ironically, dumping all the information on the reader at once.
Can you make a video about difference between description in short story and in novels. I am struggling with keeping description short and still effective for short story.
honestly, action, for me, is the best way to show what a character is feeling. its like in movies. you never hear a narrator say "X is tired" you can tell they are tired from their actions.
Yes show not tell is true. Bad example might be a characters says he is cold. Show his body is turning to white frost and he's shivering, rubbing his hands together.
I think the advice mostly about letting the audience use their imagination by deducing anything at all. So if you say something like "He knew he should have worn more layers. Like seventeen of them." Then the audience will understand that the guy is cold, and he doesn't have to turn ghost white, covered in icicles every time, like a cartoon character.
The thing that has helped me show and not tell is by listening to music that accurately summarizes the scene being written. This practice has helped me to actually BECOME the character by feeling the music and conveying those emotions and actions in a way that is engaging and psychologically charged.
Everything I’ve been struggling with in my writing for quite a while now, you easily summed up in two sentences. Your videos are a massive help and inspiration to me. Big ❤ from 🇦🇺
I feel this so much, as a reader! I've recently started to distance myself from a particular author. I've been pretty hooked on her works because her early stuff was SO GOOD. But recently she has had some health issues, and it's showing with the way her characters and story is developing. I think it comes down to the characters being a little flat, surface level. It's like the conflict is barely there, and it never really goes deep. There is some quick fix of the misbelief, cue: HEA. Thank you for pointing out what it is!
Teacher Abbie I have a question 🙋♀️. My character is under pressure because she’s doing surgery as a test and her father who is a monitor (one of the best medical professionalist) is monitoring her can I write this? - My father’s watching from the observation deck, his presence a constant reminder of the high standards I’m expected to meet. I catch a glimpse of his stern expression through the glass. He nods slightly, his approval a small but significant gesture. I can’t help but feel the weight of his expectations pressing down on me.
Ive always been overwhelmed with the concept of 'science' behind stoeytelling and it makes me feel that my story dosent have a science behind it because i write what i want, almost freely and it scares me to venture out into the science-y world of writing. But after watching your vid, with very helpful examples, it makes me more confident. You're such a great author and friend, Abbie
I always knew the importance of show don’t tell, I’ve struggled to wrap my head around it until now. This’ll be helpful for editing my own books. Keep up the good work!
Every time I watch one of your vids I get inspiration for my debate novel. i was halfway through my debut novel's zero draft when I was forced to take a months break from writing. I've gone back to the beginning now and tried to convert it to my 1st draft. I was definitely telling way too much. So excited about my story though.
Hello from germany. I just watched a lot of your videos and found them great help for me. I don't write a book, but I currently develop a RPG game with a lot of charakters and dialogues and your videos helped me out quite a bit 🙂.
I really enjoy your videos. I like your intros and the way you explain things. The way you use storytelling is really cool. Since I found you earlier this year, I've regnited my passion for writing! ♥♥
i watched your how to write a gripping opening hook and I knew how to include internal conflict. I thought about what it should be for a long time and I found something truly worth a read. But I couldn't show the conflict, this video helped me amazingly!! Thanks abbie!! Rock on!!!
I just finished the first chapter of my horror/fantasy/crime novel (yeah I know) and I tried my best to not go overboard on the exposition. When I'm writing I mostly rely on description a lot of the time which can be good or bad depending on your point of view. Plus that thing of being afraid of being criticised and shamed by reviewers and the Internet is so true. I go through that every day😅 Thanks for your advice, Abbie. I would join the Discord but I don't have Patreon, sorry.
@unicorntomboy9736 I've barely started it. I could go that route but I try to keep it grounded and more like a thriller with a supernatural element. That's all I'm gonna say, don't want to give too much away.
Hey Abbie! Just wanted to say thank you so much. I've been trying to write my version of Kung Fu Panda 4 for months, and now because of you and Tyler Mowery, I finally have a scene by scene outline ready for NaNoWriMo. I'll be putting you both in the acknowledgements. Rock on!
Question: When my main character reaches their AHA moment and realizes that their fears and misbelief have been holding them back and clouding their judgment about what will bring them true happiness, how can they convey their internal struggle to the side characters without sounding preachy or telling to the audience aka reader? Great video by the way. It was exactly what I need to hear.😁
This was so incredibly helpful Abbie! I've been struggling for years to balance emotionally intelligent characters who are honest with themselves without telling too much and irritating my readers. I'll be keeping your tips here in mind from now on, thank you so much!
Just when I thought I really understood the concept of show don't tell...Huge thanks, Abbie. Four years in, I may not be able to save the whole book, but Act III for sure.
I typically tell and THEN show. "He was mad - like, really mad. His face was red, boiling over with fury and his fists were clenched, knuckles white like hot fire.
Thanks Abbie, you’re videos help me become a better writer! I’m trying to write a character who isn’t a main villain of the story but she causes the events of the story. Could you do a video on how to write a character like that?
I really enjoy watching your videos - they are very helpful. However, there is one aspect that I've noticed many people don't discuss, even though it's something I still struggle with as a beginner writer. The writing process can still be challenging for me at times. Nonetheless, great work on the video content.
I’ve watched maybe some of your videos, or at least part of them, and I guess I’ve kind of let some of my writing zeal fall to the wayside, maybe even dangerously so. I’ve released one book, but it’s kind of on my end of things to really promote it, and being in college and, having a lot going on, it can be hard to do that, especially when I’m relying on someone else running the Facebook account. But watching this video kind of sparked or reignited my desire. I may even take another look at the sequel of my first book again, perhaps even including the parts I really really don’t like. It can be very dialogue heavy, but I think I can take away some of the narrative exposition. What you seem to be teaching is, the right way to apply direct and indirect characterization. But that kind of makes me wonder how someone who has an omniscient third person narrator would do this. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what I’m doing, but I thought I’d ask the question as a bit of intellectual pushback.blessings from Jesus and Messiah.
I actually think that it would be helpful to both show and tell. I am not interested so much in prose but in telling a matter of fact story. Sometimes a writer wants to tell the reader what to tink. Say that a villain is evil and then show the evil act. Say a character feels sadness and then show how he or she is dealing with it. I believe there is room for both.
hi abbie! im such a fan of your yt channel!!! 🤩🫶🏻maybe u talked abt it in a previous video before , i don't know...but i often wonder, where did you gain so much knowledge and confidence abt all of this writing and psychology subject? did you just self study or did you go for a traditional bachelor's in creative writing or something similar? just wondering what kind of education does one need to become so brilliant and confident!!❤❤
See this is difficult for me to wrap my head around because I am very aware of my own flaws and am very good at calling myself out for destructive behavior because I went on a healing journey where I journaled everyday when life was very dark for me and I eventually got a therapist who told me I could be my own therapist (I still have that therapist). So I find it implausible that others can’t do the same and that we shouldn’t have self-aware characters on the same journey, which my characters are. Being self-aware doesn’t mean your flaws don’t hold you back anymore. Being aware of trauma doesn’t lessen the degree in which trauma affects you, it helps you learn how to react better. I think being self-aware can help your characters grow that much more if they’re willing to do that work. I’m not quite understanding how a character being self-aware falls under telling and not showing. The reader interpreting things about a character is awesome when it happens, but if your character design is someone actively trying to become better and more healed that doesn’t necessarily mean that isn’t being shown to reader va being told. Can anyone elaborate more so I can grasp a better understanding? ✨
I am trying to write a book and I’m practicing to write stuff in third person since that’s how the story is going. But I want to improve on writing because I want to make great stories. Showing is a flaw that I have so I want to make sure the story o work on is the best that I can make
First, Otherworld landed on my doorstep a couple days ago and I finished it fast. Abbie did a great job. I found myself wanting to keep reading Otherworld more than even Phantom of the Opera which I read just before it, and that's saying a lot. Something about the cozy vibes made the story enjoyable to be wrapped in, like a blanket. Have to admit I just pictured Orca as Abbie the whole way through, can't be the only one. Put in the replies if you did the same thing. When writing multiple POV i have used one character POV to make assumptions or statements about another character, then in the next or a later chapter use character B's POV to prove the assumption is false with some actions or dialogue. This can expose some false beliefs and inner conflicts in character A without having to "tell". It also saves you from slowing down the story progression a bit.
ME every time I see a new video uploaded by Abbie *rushes to the video just to say : What's up my friend Abby here and welcome back to WRITERSLIFE WEDNESDAYS where we come together to help you/me make my story matter and make my author dreams come true'' it became a pledge/tradition for me to say. Abby you are amazing in and out you and your sister deserve Oscars fr Love♥ from a 15yr old girl in south Africa
Hello! Thank you very much for this video. As much as I totaly agree, I have to say it's extremely difficult for me not to tell and explain. So here's my question: is it ok, to explain what a character feels and struggles with closer to the end of a book. I've got a heroine who has some fears and doubts and misbelieves, and I made her articulate them in chapter 22 /29 as she acctually comes to revelation of what her real values and goals are. But I still feel as if she was a self-psychologist and not an 18 yr old girl.
In general I agree with, "Show don't tell" but I think it really depends on what you're trying to accomplish. Some times telling is better if you want to convey things quickly that aren't central to the story or if the telling accomplishes something beyond the plot point. The Telling version could have worked if the idea was to get into the character's head and establish the character's voice. Imagine that opening but concluding with, "But Papa doesn't know me. Doesn't know what I've done." That becomes a hook for the reader because it takes a semi-typical teen angst "My Dad thinks I'm still a kid" and quickly gives it an ominous twist. Now you can dive into the plot because the reader is primed for something to happen. (I'm being contrarian because sometimes I see writers writing out every last thing instead occasionally summarizing/telling, which derails the pacing.)
The clue to understanding show don't tell is you're always telling a story. The show part is about inference, intrigue, about not being obvious. That's all. "But Papa doesn't know me. Doesn't know what I've done." is very literally not telling because you've underlined a critical piece of information that you have intentionally kept to yourself. It's the opposite of telling, even with all that other stuff tacked on. Because now that line has an elevated signficance, all that other stuff recedes into the background.
How do you write intimacy scenes? Do you let them kiss and then 'fade to black'? Do they walk into the bedroom and close the door and the next paragraph about them is the next day? Do they strip and jump on the bed so-to-speak? Do you treat it like a daytime soap opera?
She doesn’t. At least not in “100 Days of Sunlight”, and with regard to the ages of the characters in her other two books, I wouldn’t expect any intimacy scenes in there either. It doesn’t really seem to fit the target audience she is going for.
do you have any tips for writing internal conflict in 1st person, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to get it across for the main character but what about the others?
Hey Abbie, I thanks a lot for all your vids. Those are so helpful. I know it's not the topic but I have a huge problem. I do wanna write multiple stories but once I start one I got bored at some point and I just jump on another one at a point where I've started maybe 10 stories with all the development that goes with it but none is ever finished. Please I desperately need your help. If you should guide to one previous video or if anyone here can give me advice. Thanks ❤
"The character is editorializing, not the author"... When I tell you the lightbulb that came on in my brain when you said that 😂😂😂 omg
sameee
I was struggling with an emotional scene in my story where the main character breaks down in tears after his friend wakes up from a coma. Changed it from "only now, he realized how much had depended on the boy surviving" to his inner thoughts "Stop crying you idiot. He made it. He's gonna be alright."
Thank you :))
The telling version is actually a really good way to start if you just need to get the scene out of your head. It gives you a nice guide. Then you can go back and say “how can I show this?”
I like this
@@pwetty4r4me too!!!
I usually think about how I'd get to know someone in real life. A person wouldn't tell me they have anxiety because of their critical parents but I might conclude this based on their body language, how they respond to social situations and authority, through their people pleasing methods, etc. And from there it's easy to imagine situations that challenge their fears and misbeliefs and help them grow, like finally standing up to someone who has taken advantage of them.
It depends on the character and the point of view of the story. Some people are extremely open and will tell you outright they have anxiety. Some you have to force it out of them. Others will avoid admitting it all all costs and every other variant in between. Also, it's extremely common for body language to not match thoughts. Body language is a pseudo science for a reason.
I think this "show not tell" guide of yours is the best one so far. All of the other ones I've read online, while they're all good, they're all almost the same, especially examples like this:
Tell: She was cold.
Show: She shivered, hugging her coat tightly around her, her breath visible in the frosty air.
Every guide featured the exact same or extremely similar examples for show vs. tell, even if they are still excellent examples. Your examples on this topic differ from those in previous "show not tell" examples, I truly enjoyed reading them in this video. I really liked the way you explained why the tell excerpt was not as excellent as the show excerpt and why your show excerpt was superior. I now have more options thanks to this.
These I will definitely write down in my notes. I really enjoyed your examples of show versus tell. I have learned a lot from occasionally binge-watching your videos because they are always so insightful.
A Ted-Ed video about writing vividly made me realize that these examples suggest the antidote for terse literalism is... more literalism.
See "she was sad," and "she cried," are so closely related as to be virtually indistinguishable, so it has to be, "she wailed, tears streaming down her reddened face, from weary eyes, crusted and red." certainly nothing over the top about that either. When it could be something like "Her thoughts drifted back to the last Kauai bird, and its haunting call for a mate that would never come. Those were her dreams. A half remembered cry to a lost future. It went not unheard. Life surrounds, and not a single hope for the songbird."
I'm not saying it's great or anything, but they give you no impression that you can even do this. It's all "she clinged" this and "her eyes" that.
@@futurestoryteller
Awsome explanation
Let me ask what does it mean.... show us how the point of view character sees it
@@arfenmalik1717 It's just an example, I deprived it of some context for brevity's sake. There was a certain type of endagnered songbird, around the 1980's someone managed to record the mating call of the last known survivor of the species - life moves on, but no one ever heard that call again. Since it's not from any real story the only conscious decision I made was to not make it about loneliness. It affects loneliness, because that how hopelessness feels, but the hypothetical character is pining for a lost future, of a personal nature, not an intimate partnership. Which is too easy, I think
@futurestoryteller
I got that part about the bird
I'm asking what does it mean 👉 point of view of a character
@@arfenmalik1717
👉 It's an example
Before I started watch Abbie, my writing was a mess. I didn’t know ANY story structures and I was a TOTAL PANSTER I thought I was wrapping up my very first story 🎉 until I realized my villain I had in my head wasn’t introduced yet. So… long story short, he ended up being introduced on page 100😅. But thanks to Abbie, I’m outlining my next story with the 3 act story structure. Now my characters have fears, misbeliefs, and desires. Now my story’s character driven not plot driven. THANK YOU SO MUCH ABBIE. You saved my writing career.
I know right? I was also so lost, and pantsing was the only thing I knew. Now, it's all organized and I will NEVER go back to pantsing, for I have become OBSESSED with plotting
There's nothing wrong with being a pantser. I can pants the first quarter or so of a book and it'll turn out usable but after that I'll need some kind of road map. People who think plotting is better than pantsing genuinely annoy the hell out of me, don't fall for that, so if you ever end up stuck in an outline, forget it, just write. No one cares how you get your words onto the page as long as those words form a good story.
There’s nothing wrong with being a pantser if you’re truly one, but don’t call yourself a pantser if you’re just disorganized or don’t know what you’re doing.
Just a heads up it's 'Pantser' :P I'm not sure if pancer is a word in English. Pantser comes from the phrase 'by the seat of one's pants'
@@LDillon Thanks, I just corrected it
Guys, am I going crazy? I feel like both the "tell" example and "Show example" about Orca made me sink into the story already. I liked both approaches 😭
Also, my favourite way of showing and not telling is the use of fragmented sentences when the character is being hit hard with a "truth" or in a life-and-death situation, showcasing their confusion and difficulty in grasping whatever is happening! (Wait, is this even a thing?)
You're definitely not crazy 😁 I think that just goes to show even a telling paragraph can be effective if you have an interesting premise and strong prose!
Rather than being downright bad, the point seems to be that the 'telling' style can make the character sound unnaturally self aware. It can also kill some of the reader's engagement, since you're not leaving them room to use their big brains for interpretation 🧠
i get what you mean. but the showing version is js info dumping. even if you get immersed, it isn't that realistic bc that's not how humans act. and like abbie said, why would orca know all of that anyways. when i read studd like that i js cringe bc they're telling us sm. u want to be as realistic as possible.
@@Lia_michelin143 I agree, so much telling in the introduction paragraph of a narrative with a limited narrator (Orca) doesn't make a lot of sense. But I think there are cases where leaning into a 'telling' style can work, because the narrator is omniscient (something like death narrating The Book Thief). In such a case, having an unrealistic 'voice' can make narrative sense and add an interesting style!
Like many techniques in writing, show don't tell isn't a universal principle. It is a method of focusing on certain parts of the story. It isn't appropriate in every situation. As a writer you would need to understand the pacing of your particular story to know when showing is appropriate and when telling is, and indeed sometimes both of them can work quite well.
@@Lia_michelin143i info dump in real life all the time😅
I've always dreamed of publishing a novel and I've tried several times to write a story. I feel like I have very good ideas, but I'm never sure about to build them up. I discovered this channel by accident and I was watching this video. When she gets to the part where she says "if you made it this far, I know that you're serious about your writing", I almost cried because I realized that I'm deadly serious about writing. I want to create stories and allow people to dive into different worlds and situations through my writing. Thanks for creating these contents, it really inspired me to chase that dream.
Yes!! You can do it! It took even Tolkien 17 years to write Lord of the Rings, and the world wouldn’t be quite as magical without that work in it.
I’m sure you have amazing ideas and great potential novels, maybe you’ll even be a best seller one day!
Keep believing in yourself, and I wish you the best of luck on your writing journey! ❤🎉✍️📝📖📚
I once wrote down all four basic emotions (anger, fear, sadness and happiness) on a piece of paper each and wrote down body language for each of them, for both humans and wolves (as both are important to my story). Sometimes I look up synonyms for words to have some more variety in describing certain things.
I always follow two of my favorite authors. Haruki Murakami and Sobers Rodrigues. They are brilliant story tellers.
That's so cool!
I also follow my favorite authors : Hazel clarke and Stephanie Garber
I also follow my favorite author, MAKOTO SHINKAI
Read his books and watch his movies, they’ll inspire you very much.
I like to continue the struggle of the character's even after they break their misconception.
Pam was so happy to have met Jim and Eve. She knew that other souls had strong feelings about her ideas. She came back home and started scribbling notes about her next story.
She remembered when her mother came to her room during college days. "What are you writing?" Pam,"Just a story..." Mom"Well, you know that having a writers life is not why we are paying for your college ?" Pam."I don't want to make a career in writing. My teachers told me I should improve my English."
She was holding her pen tightly and angered that her inspiration was lost again with a past memory. She tried focusing on Jim and Eve. How they were reminding themselves of past books they enjoyed . "Jim, do you remember that author ...."
Pam parts ways with Jim and Eve.
Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.
The sun's warm, bright rays kisses her skin, the wind stirs her hair, and the world, with all its greens and blues and reds and violets has never appeared so bright. It was as if, at this moment, the colours she had only seen through her eyes finally connected with her heart. She even wants to scream and laugh.
But Pam will bottle it all up, every single flutter in her chest, and release it through her pen.
With lightened steps, Pam rushes home, rushing up the rickety wooden steps with wild abandon, swinging open the familiar shape of her door. She abandons her bag in a heap at her feet, quickly scooping out her trusty worn notebook and pencil and leans over her desk, barely paying mind to sit down.
Scritch, scritch, scritch.
The pen moves across the notebook frantically, and the owner, transfixed, does not notice the beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. Her heart, that has never calmed down once, orders her hand to continue moving, faster and faster, for it will never be quick enough to write all she wishes to create.
SNAP!
A black smudge appears over the half-written word.
Pam is forced to come to a stop as the pencil gives way, its lead piece rolling off the table. She reaches over to grab it and dispose it into the garbage before grabbing her pencil sharpener so she can continue writing.
However, it is this pause in writing that let thoughts have the chance to slip through the cracks and gaps. As the fragments of pencil chips sprinkle down from the pencil sharpener into the waiting maws of the garbage can below her, Pam suddenly recalls an old memory.
("What are you writing?")
It was her mother's voice.
How had Pam replied then? Oh yes.
("Just a story.")
She had curled protectively over her writing then, covering it up from her mother's eyes. At that time, it was during her early college days, when Pam's mother entered the room to see what Pam was doing.
("Well, you should know that we're not paying your tuition so you can be a writer?")
A scowl.
That was all it took before trepidation had overtaken Pam's heart. A single dip in the eyebrows, and the down-turning of the lips from her mother. She feared her parent's disproval the most. So Pam had replied,
("I'm not thinking of becoming a writer...just that my professors suggested having an improved writing skill would be beneficial in any career.")
It was a lie.
A lie that took root in her heart and snuffed out all the hope that her parents would understand, and a denial of her dreams. After that, Pam learned to hide her writing, hide her passion, and bury her writer's soul under a lonely banner. She strove instead to be the perfect daughter, and to pursue the career her parents wanted her to do.
Just like now.
Pam finishes sharpening her pencil, but as the tip touches the notebook's page, it stills, and Pam is unable to make her imprint. She grips her pencil tightly, as if trying to snap it in half, before loosening her hold, and letting the pencil drop onto the notebook. There, she snaps the notebook shut and pushes it to the corner of her desk.
There, she stares at it, her earlier exuberant mood bubbling to nothingness.
The table, the flower wallpaper, the notebook, and the pen all return to their former colours.
Pam pulls out her laptop, ready to finish her class assignments.
Writing would have to wait.
This is so much harder than most writers think. I always catch myself telling and it’s often happening in stories that I write and end up too short.
Some of us know our internal struggles, but not what to do about it: "I know I"m this way, but how can I change?" Any suggestions, from oneself or others never seem like they'll work. They can't imagine accomplishing the goal. the Misbelief: it'll never happen; I can't. It's too confusing, overwhelming, scary, whatever.
It’s not show, don’t tell. It’s show, tell, ignore. You showed Orca’s emotion, you told the reader she belongs on the ocean floor via dialogue, and you ignored a huge section of time where she aged. Good writing incorporates all three.
I cannot believe it has only been a month since this video's release. It has stuck in my mind like gum on the bottom of a shoe. Lol. I was so proud of getting 2023's NaNoWriMo completed. I had a great book. Then, I started getting all these videos on "Show, Don't Tell." Out of all the videos, only yours gave a concrete example. I still remember my first thought after you gave the second example, showing the difference. Sonofa...I just wrote what is essentially a 60k outline!!! What?! Guess what I've been doing the past couple of months. Expanding on my "outline." Thank you for giving an example so I could understand the difference. It has sure helped immensely!
Hi Abbie, hope you are well. Thank you for this video, very informative. Wish I could take your live training but living in a nursing home they take the money. My book is a fantasy novel and I am just wrapping up the outline then will be writing it out. Thanks again and cant wait for your next VOD.
Thank you so much! I’m starting to write and this is all new to me. Such wisdom and knowledge 🙏
I think the key is in the observation that showing is allowing the reader to be emotionally involved in the scene. Show don't tell is not a universal, one size fits all technique. It is, like most other things with writing, an artistic choice. Sometimes you should tell instead of showing. For instance, if Bob is going to bed after a long day, you would probably just write that Bob was tired and went to bed. Unless Bob being tired and going to bed is significant, showing is inappropriate, as it puts emphasis and emotion into something that should be a quick footnote.
channels like this are super helpful for me rn; i'm trying to plan out a manga based on some story i started thinking about when i was like 11 (so you know how that started) so ive been looking at all these videos to make it into an actual story, since i feel like i haven't got a good grasp on how to write and if i don't by the time i make it the critics might find it and tear it apart for flaws i never knew existed
That's awesome that you're motivated again! As helpful as I find these videos I seem to get caught up in "it has to be perfect and has to have blah blah blah in it cause Abbie said so" my point being don't watch to many writing videos at one time cause you could get caught up in the technical and forget that your doing this for fun as well
What's the plot for the manga?
@@OneLuckyLizard plot is all over the place right now; the character goes through so many different setting changes and tone changes that i'd be here forever trying to explain it lol
though with what i'm trying to do with the character is to show how she changes to react to her current situation, at one point actually becoming a worse person than she was before due to the circumstances so i think that might be an interesting thing to work with
@@TheWary0ne-vs3xt Ooo I've wanted to write a story like that for awhile! Let me know how it turns out! Lol
@@OneLuckyLizard lol aight; if i get the whole story out maybe i'll try to remember this comment
@@TheWary0ne-vs3xt lol
Amazingly engaging and lucid. Your writing advice has had a profoundly favorable impact on my writer's mindset. Thank You forever🙏🙏✍✍🙏🌹✍🙏
I like your comment because you used the word "lucid"
Thanks
Thank you. Those two examples really clarified the difference between show and tell. Your 2nd example showed us what the other world was like from 2 different perspectives and told us about the characters of the girl and her dad and revealed the conflict between them and got the reader wondering "what is going to happen here?". The first example actually revealed less while, ironically, dumping all the information on the reader at once.
Can you make a video about difference between description in short story and in novels. I am struggling with keeping description short and still effective for short story.
I struggle to write short stories. It is a distinctly different craft from writing a novel or novella
@@unicorntomboy9736 exactly. It is hard to keep it short. My short story just expands while I write😂
honestly, action, for me, is the best way to show what a character is feeling. its like in movies. you never hear a narrator say "X is tired" you can tell they are tired from their actions.
Yes show not tell is true. Bad example might be a characters says he is cold. Show his body is turning to white frost and he's shivering, rubbing his hands together.
I think the advice mostly about letting the audience use their imagination by deducing anything at all. So if you say something like "He knew he should have worn more layers. Like seventeen of them." Then the audience will understand that the guy is cold, and he doesn't have to turn ghost white, covered in icicles every time, like a cartoon character.
The thing that has helped me show and not tell is by listening to music that accurately summarizes the scene being written. This practice has helped me to actually BECOME the character by feeling the music and conveying those emotions and actions in a way that is engaging and psychologically charged.
Thank you dear Abbie
That video really helps!
Everything I’ve been struggling with in my writing for quite a while now, you easily summed up in two sentences. Your videos are a massive help and inspiration to me. Big ❤ from 🇦🇺
I feel this so much, as a reader! I've recently started to distance myself from a particular author. I've been pretty hooked on her works because her early stuff was SO GOOD. But recently she has had some health issues, and it's showing with the way her characters and story is developing. I think it comes down to the characters being a little flat, surface level. It's like the conflict is barely there, and it never really goes deep. There is some quick fix of the misbelief, cue: HEA. Thank you for pointing out what it is!
It was fun hearing you explain this using “The Otherworld” since I’ve already read it. Great story. Thanks again for your videos.
Teacher Abbie I have a question 🙋♀️. My character is under pressure because she’s doing surgery as a test and her father who is a monitor (one of the best medical professionalist) is monitoring her can I write this? -
My father’s watching from the observation deck, his presence a constant reminder of the high standards I’m expected to meet.
I catch a glimpse of his stern expression through the glass. He nods slightly, his approval a small but significant gesture. I can’t help but feel the weight of his expectations pressing down on me.
Sounds interesting
Your videos are always exactly what I need while I'm writing and I'm trying to fix something I wrote wrong 😊❤
This video is SO good and helpful, especially because of the examples you show and talk about! Thank you!! 😊
I was just wondering how to do this! Perfect timing! Thank you Abbie! I'm so thankful for your videos.
you are such an excellent writer, a real master of the craft.
Thank you for this explanation
Ive always been overwhelmed with the concept of 'science' behind stoeytelling and it makes me feel that my story dosent have a science behind it because i write what i want, almost freely and it scares me to venture out into the science-y world of writing.
But after watching your vid, with very helpful examples, it makes me more confident. You're such a great author and friend, Abbie
THANK YOU! I've been wanting for figure this out for years!
I have never heard this topic explained so clearly. Abbie, you've once again made a fundamental writing concept, achievable. You're the best.
Thank you, Abbie!
This is very helpful!! I’m doing my first fiction thriller after only writing academic papers on theology. Far different kind of writing, for sure.
Good stuff. I've made a living as a writer since I was in my twentiesl You're right on.
Being an author is not even in the horizon for me. I only inted to use this approach for the copywriting skill I'm building. Thanks a whole lot.
I always knew the importance of show don’t tell, I’ve struggled to wrap my head around it until now. This’ll be helpful for editing my own books. Keep up the good work!
You'll probably continue to struggle, honestly. It's a really tough concept.
Every time I watch one of your vids I get inspiration for my debate novel. i was halfway through my debut novel's zero draft when I was forced to take a months break from writing. I've gone back to the beginning now and tried to convert it to my 1st draft. I was definitely telling way too much. So excited about my story though.
I've been watching your videos all day because I am writing my first book! You've helped me so much. Thank you xoxo
this video came in just as i was about to edit my first draft, perfect timing
WHOA I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS THE OTHER DAY! Literally a psychic abbie!
Hello from germany.
I just watched a lot of your videos and found them great help for me.
I don't write a book, but I currently develop a RPG game with a lot of charakters and dialogues and your videos helped me out quite a bit 🙂.
I needed to go watch this, I am a mess-up in writing emotional moments. Thanks to this video, I am improving somewhat
I really enjoy your videos. I like your intros and the way you explain things. The way you use storytelling is really cool. Since I found you earlier this year, I've regnited my passion for writing! ♥♥
i watched your how to write a gripping opening hook and I knew how to include internal conflict. I thought about what it should be for a long time and I found something truly worth a read. But I couldn't show the conflict, this video helped me amazingly!! Thanks abbie!!
Rock on!!!
I just finished the first chapter of my horror/fantasy/crime novel (yeah I know) and I tried my best to not go overboard on the exposition. When I'm writing I mostly rely on description a lot of the time which can be good or bad depending on your point of view.
Plus that thing of being afraid of being criticised and shamed by reviewers and the Internet is so true. I go through that every day😅
Thanks for your advice, Abbie. I would join the Discord but I don't have Patreon, sorry.
@@Benji568 is it like gothic fantasy or something
@unicorntomboy9736 I've barely started it. I could go that route but I try to keep it grounded and more like a thriller with a supernatural element. That's all I'm gonna say, don't want to give too much away.
@@Benji568 My current book is gothic fantasy, with some grimdark
@@unicorntomboy9736 Sounds exciting! Good luck with it.
Hey Abbie! Just wanted to say thank you so much.
I've been trying to write my version of Kung Fu Panda 4 for months, and now because of you and Tyler Mowery, I finally have a scene by scene outline ready for NaNoWriMo.
I'll be putting you both in the acknowledgements.
Rock on!
Thank you Abbie, I’m looking forward to trying this trick out! ✨🌷⛲️🌸
marvelous, just marvelous teaching … from a 70 yo guy who loves short story telling via the coast of Maine … so glad I found your utube channel.
Your book sounds majestic can’t wait ❤❤ to read it!
Your so helpful Abbie ❤ I used to have a hard time understanding how to show instead of telling but now I think I am getting the gist of it. 🎉
Question: When my main character reaches their AHA moment and realizes that their fears and misbelief have been holding them back and clouding their judgment about what will bring them true happiness, how can they convey their internal struggle to the side characters without sounding preachy or telling to the audience aka reader?
Great video by the way. It was exactly what I need to hear.😁
your videos always help me overcome my writers block, thank you for al your hard work☺
Hi you videos have been pretty helpful for me as I am writing my first ever book right now! Thank you for all the work you put into these videos!❤
I've binged so many of your videos! They're super insightful and have helped me so much thank you!
Abbie I love you so much ❤❤❤❤ you're my hero for this video
This was so incredibly helpful Abbie! I've been struggling for years to balance emotionally intelligent characters who are honest with themselves without telling too much and irritating my readers. I'll be keeping your tips here in mind from now on, thank you so much!
Just when I thought I really understood the concept of show don't tell...Huge thanks, Abbie. Four years in, I may not be able to save the whole book, but Act III for sure.
I typically tell and THEN show.
"He was mad - like, really mad. His face was red, boiling over with fury and his fists were clenched, knuckles white like hot fire.
I should try doing that! I'm writing my own fanfic novel and I'm not really that experienced so I might try this a few times
@@stix.ed1tz It's definitely my favorite way to write it. Good luck on the fanfic!
@@dawnstag7267 ty! Good luck on whatever your writing too!
I love your vids Abbie. I have integrated your advice into my own writing. Wish me luck on my first book!
4:40 ms abbie are you sure you not talkin about me ? 😂
Oh, this was very helpful, especially your examples.
Great video as always! Thank you, Abbie ❤
Thanks Abbie, you’re videos help me become a better writer! I’m trying to write a character who isn’t a main villain of the story but she causes the events of the story. Could you do a video on how to write a character like that?
THIS WAS SO HELPFUL THANK YOU ABBIE!!! ❤❤❤
I really enjoy watching your videos - they are very helpful. However, there is one aspect that I've noticed many people don't discuss, even though it's something I still struggle with as a beginner writer. The writing process can still be challenging for me at times. Nonetheless, great work on the video content.
Good stuff Abbie. Your videos have helped me during the third revision of my first book. So glad I stumbled across your channel.
OMG! thanks for this video! Just in the marathon I’m participating in, the theme is emotions!🤩
You give the best writing advice. Thank you.
Abbie could teach a college writing class professionally if she wanted & I for one really appreciate her.
Appreciate the writing tips!
I’ve watched maybe some of your videos, or at least part of them, and I guess I’ve kind of let some of my writing zeal fall to the wayside, maybe even dangerously so. I’ve released one book, but it’s kind of on my end of things to really promote it, and being in college and, having a lot going on, it can be hard to do that, especially when I’m relying on someone else running the Facebook account. But watching this video kind of sparked or reignited my desire. I may even take another look at the sequel of my first book again, perhaps even including the parts I really really don’t like. It can be very dialogue heavy, but I think I can take away some of the narrative exposition. What you seem to be teaching is, the right way to apply direct and indirect characterization. But that kind of makes me wonder how someone who has an omniscient third person narrator would do this. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what I’m doing, but I thought I’d ask the question as a bit of intellectual pushback.blessings from Jesus and Messiah.
Just what I needed
Thank you soooo much this helps so much!!!!
I actually think that it would be helpful to both show and tell. I am not interested so much in prose but in telling a matter of fact story. Sometimes a writer wants to tell the reader what to tink. Say that a villain is evil and then show the evil act. Say a character feels sadness and then show how he or she is dealing with it. I believe there is room for both.
hi abbie! im such a fan of your yt channel!!! 🤩🫶🏻maybe u talked abt it in a previous video before , i don't know...but i often wonder, where did you gain so much knowledge and confidence abt all of this writing and psychology subject? did you just self study or did you go for a traditional bachelor's in creative writing or something similar? just wondering what kind of education does one need to become so brilliant and confident!!❤❤
See this is difficult for me to wrap my head around because I am very aware of my own flaws and am very good at calling myself out for destructive behavior because I went on a healing journey where I journaled everyday when life was very dark for me and I eventually got a therapist who told me I could be my own therapist (I still have that therapist). So I find it implausible that others can’t do the same and that we shouldn’t have self-aware characters on the same journey, which my characters are. Being self-aware doesn’t mean your flaws don’t hold you back anymore. Being aware of trauma doesn’t lessen the degree in which trauma affects you, it helps you learn how to react better. I think being self-aware can help your characters grow that much more if they’re willing to do that work. I’m not quite understanding how a character being self-aware falls under telling and not showing. The reader interpreting things about a character is awesome when it happens, but if your character design is someone actively trying to become better and more healed that doesn’t necessarily mean that isn’t being shown to reader va being told. Can anyone elaborate more so I can grasp a better understanding? ✨
Thank you so much, Abbie. Your videos are always incredibly helpful and inspiring ❤️😊
AMAZING video. best show don't tell explanation I've seen
I am trying to write a book and I’m practicing to write stuff in third person since that’s how the story is going. But I want to improve on writing because I want to make great stories. Showing is a flaw that I have so I want to make sure the story o work on is the best that I can make
First, Otherworld landed on my doorstep a couple days ago and I finished it fast. Abbie did a great job. I found myself wanting to keep reading Otherworld more than even Phantom of the Opera which I read just before it, and that's saying a lot. Something about the cozy vibes made the story enjoyable to be wrapped in, like a blanket. Have to admit I just pictured Orca as Abbie the whole way through, can't be the only one. Put in the replies if you did the same thing.
When writing multiple POV i have used one character POV to make assumptions or statements about another character, then in the next or a later chapter use character B's POV to prove the assumption is false with some actions or dialogue. This can expose some false beliefs and inner conflicts in character A without having to "tell". It also saves you from slowing down the story progression a bit.
ME every time I see a new video uploaded by Abbie *rushes to the video just to say : What's up my friend Abby here and welcome back to WRITERSLIFE WEDNESDAYS where we come together to help you/me make my story matter and make my author dreams come true'' it became a pledge/tradition for me to say. Abby you are amazing in and out you and your sister deserve Oscars fr
Love♥ from a 15yr old girl in south Africa
Hello!
Thank you very much for this video. As much as I totaly agree, I have to say it's extremely difficult for me not to tell and explain. So here's my question: is it ok, to explain what a character feels and struggles with closer to the end of a book. I've got a heroine who has some fears and doubts and misbelieves, and I made her articulate them in chapter 22 /29 as she acctually comes to revelation of what her real values and goals are. But I still feel as if she was a self-psychologist and not an 18 yr old girl.
In general I agree with, "Show don't tell" but I think it really depends on what you're trying to accomplish. Some times telling is better if you want to convey things quickly that aren't central to the story or if the telling accomplishes something beyond the plot point. The Telling version could have worked if the idea was to get into the character's head and establish the character's voice. Imagine that opening but concluding with, "But Papa doesn't know me. Doesn't know what I've done." That becomes a hook for the reader because it takes a semi-typical teen angst "My Dad thinks I'm still a kid" and quickly gives it an ominous twist. Now you can dive into the plot because the reader is primed for something to happen.
(I'm being contrarian because sometimes I see writers writing out every last thing instead occasionally summarizing/telling, which derails the pacing.)
True I sometimes use telling for less important sub-plots
The clue to understanding show don't tell is you're always telling a story. The show part is about inference, intrigue, about not being obvious. That's all. "But Papa doesn't know me. Doesn't know what I've done." is very literally not telling because you've underlined a critical piece of information that you have intentionally kept to yourself. It's the opposite of telling, even with all that other stuff tacked on. Because now that line has an elevated signficance, all that other stuff recedes into the background.
Thanks for the video Abbie. I didn't think that I would need this.
How do you write intimacy scenes? Do you let them kiss and then 'fade to black'? Do they walk into the bedroom and close the door and the next paragraph about them is the next day? Do they strip and jump on the bed so-to-speak? Do you treat it like a daytime soap opera?
She doesn’t. At least not in “100 Days of Sunlight”, and with regard to the ages of the characters in her other two books, I wouldn’t expect any intimacy scenes in there either. It doesn’t really seem to fit the target audience she is going for.
do you have any tips for writing internal conflict in 1st person, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to get it across for the main character but what about the others?
loved the excerpt comparison. subscribed to your channel to learn more about writing nuances. Thank you for creating this information post
Hey Abbie, I thanks a lot for all your vids. Those are so helpful. I know it's not the topic but I have a huge problem. I do wanna write multiple stories but once I start one I got bored at some point and I just jump on another one at a point where I've started maybe 10 stories with all the development that goes with it but none is ever finished. Please I desperately need your help. If you should guide to one previous video or if anyone here can give me advice.
Thanks ❤
Found you a few days ago, really great channel and best tips! Thankss ❤❤
I’d listen to literally any audiobook narrated by you.
I’ve been needing this tutorial for so long! Thank you!
2:38 the video starts from here
welcome!
thank you for the video