1. Suddenly 2. Then 3. Very/really 4. Is/Was 5. Started 6. Just 7. Somewhat/slightly 8. Somehow 9. Seem 10. Definitely Thanks so much Abbie! Second draft is gonna have a lot of edits!
Guess I should omit the following sentence from my novel: “Very suddenly, I started to realize I was then just somewhat alive-somehow, it seemed, I had definitely survived death.”
This is just from a reader's perspective as I don't write, but you should. The sentence feels too wordy, as if it's trying to fit in as many words as possible.
I'm always wary of videos saying "never do this" because realistically you can't apply one rule to everything. But you not only explain how not to use it, but also how we CAN use it effectively. That is so much more useful to make sure we know what we're doing. I'm guilty of a lot of those and I feel like I can actually improve with this.
Can we have a moment of silence to appreciate how much research and time Abbie puts to make these videos for us and help us become the best writers possible 💛? Thank you, Abbie 😊.
I definitely agree. Abbie is a source of inspiration she is amazing and all the effort she put in her videos is what makes her special. She is unique and I loved her “100 days of sunlight” novel ✨💕
I love Abbie's videos and I can really relate to how she explains things. I have the book she always refers to, Story Genius, but to have it explained in a video and have realistic examples given helps tremendously. Now I've been spoilt. Now when I watch videos from other RUclipsrs on the craft of writing, the explanations seem vague and the instructions on how to create characters especially seem to be almost clinical in comparison. Thank you, Abbie with an "ie"!
@@SusanCartersBooks Yup. Abbie has helped me more than any other writing channel. I get what you mean when you say they're "vague". They can be sometimes. She does explain really well, and it makes it so much easier and funner for me along the way 😊.
I have to say that I like the description "she was small and curvy" way more than "the dress hugged her curvy figure". I'm not sure why, but I'll try to explain. With the first description, an image immediately springs up in my mind. The second one is weirdly focused on her dress for some reason. Maybe if the narrator is super into dresses and clothes, it's good, but I am more interested in the character itself. If that makes sense.
Yea cuz the second one has the dress as the main focus and if you want her figure to be the main focus that isn't really the goal. So, if you want to focus on the dress, second one works best, and if you want to focus on her figure, first one works best.
Because the first one is an actual description that tells you what you need to know in a concise, clear, straightforward way, that everyone will understand right away and that can't be misinterpreted. To me, the second one just sounds like someone trying too hard to write like a "proper" writer. I honestly hated books that used such descriptions everywhere. I always have to stop and do a double take, before I untangle the message, and then I'm just like "why did you say this in such a roundabout way?". And it could be interesting if there was an actual answer - that second description makes me feel like the dress has agency and personality, that perhaps there's a meaning behind that, maybe this is to highlight the character feeling a specific way, maybe this is foreshadowing for something else. But a lot of the time it seems like the only answer is "that's just how writing is done". Especially if those are everywhere within a particular text - then I feel like *everything* demands focus, attention and deeper analysis, which quickly becomes exhausting to me. I get easily distracted and if there is too much of *that* in a row, I forget the actual story. It doesn't create a more vivid or lively image for me, which I imagine would be the point of writing like that, it just creates a mess of an abstract painting. I don't mind flowery language and personification and whatnot, but I wish writers saved it for the important moments.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@@turnbased608 These videos should always be taken with a big grain of salt. I would personally suggest to go and scrutinise books of authors you enjoy to read. I've seen many videos giving different types of 'forbidden' or 'undesirable' words. Or filter words as some call them. And then I go read a book from someone like Brandon Sanderson and see them using these words all the time. And not like 'when it makes sense' but willi-nilli as if they genuinely don't give a damn. And you know what? It's enjoyable to read. Those words don't ruin anything.
Lots of writers have this hangup about “Passive Voice” and I’m not sure why. I guess it’s when they are overused or misused. I love passive words... when I am describing passive things. Active words pack too much punch. Adverbs can change how the reader perceives your character and/or their actions. At least in how I read and how I write. For instance, this is how I would read her examples: So in her first example “sympathetically” it sounds soft and forgiving and, well, ‘passive’, so the “...we forgive you...” sounds genuine. However, using “sympathetic” sounds, to use her expression, “in your face” so ‘the forgiveness’ comes across, to me at least, as sarcastic or insincere. Same for the mom; “bitterly” is mild, so it sounds the mom is being passive aggressive. As opposed to her snapping, which sounds more like unbridled anger. You get an entirely different mental picture depending on the words used. But maybe that's just me and I am weird. IMO Think about the scene in your head and use what’s best. I write for fun, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's an art not a science. The rules are fine but fiction is about creating a feeling - bringing something emotional out of the reader, helping them imagine your world. Doing that well doesn't follow simple logical rules
No, i felt that too. Change of word can change the meaning entirely. I think the unnecessary word was when that one exact word got erased and the sentence felt the same as before.
Yeah, I actually noticed that change in feeling from a lot of the sentences. Like... there's a lot of internal voice that goes into "unnecessary" words. Like, "I definitely don't want to" just... sounds different than "I don't want to." A little more pleading, which fits with describing yourself as almost a "basketcase."
I agree. A lot of it depends on what kind of mood you want to set. Take a look at _The Night Circus_, for example. The passive voice is part of what gives it that dreamy, slightly removed from reality vibe. On the other hand, if you're writing an action thriller, passive voice will detract from the tension and momentum of the work.
"Definitely" has its uses, especially when it is conveying 'voice.' Your character might use 'definitely' to emphasize how committed she is to not crying. The impact later, if she does cry, is quite a bit different than if she merely says, "I don't want to cry." Writing in first person legitimizes pretty much all of the things you discuss because we are basically hearing self-talk, so anything that flies in conversation has a shot at being acceptable.
Thanks, I was looking for this comment! I also found this example not fitting, as it is basically also "dialogue" because it is an inner monologue and can contain such idioms or even slang without distraction. You should definitely avoid it in a neutral description ;)
me that has used every single word she said in my stories: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine
I'm super guilty of writing in passive voice, using adverbs, and was/is. I feel like I need to rewire my brain to get out of passive headspace! Thanks for this great video, Abbie! Definitely going to save it to help me get through my editing.
Sabrina Hill-Davis honestly, I’ve read several traditionally published authors books where they use passive voice where they could’ve written the sentence differently and didn’t. I see so much passive voice in traditionally published books.
My perspective may be skewed as English is not my native language, despite it being the one to which I'm the most exposed and I use the most, but personally I find the good old is/was clear and effective, so long as they are not abused (e.g. a list of descriptors in which something/someone was A, was B, was C). More creative active sentences are nice and work well when they are trying to deliver a specific tone or feeling or focus the reader's attention on a specific element. In other instances, I find they sound overly flowery and slightly pretentious, as well as making the sentence harder to follow (I feel the same when reading a text in my native language).
Suddenly, there was a notification in my inbox. Abbie uploaded a new video and I just had to click right away! She really gives very good advice. Abbie is a genius and that video was so helpful; I started watching it while I drank my morning coffee. I just think the information provided was somewhat helpful, even more than slightly. Somehow, I think I'll replay it again in the future and use it when I edit my manuscript. After all, it seemed really well thought out - the examples were so useful. I definitely love Wednesdays, because that's when Abbie graces us with new videos!
I definitely use definitely way too offen. I definitely have a problem with definitely needing to make it definite that my characters are definitely taking definitive action.
I couldn't agree more 😊👍🏻. I get so excited when I realize that a new video is coming up the next day and is actually one of the first things I do in the morning.
Here are my own top 10 weak words / phrases: 1) Jeans. 2) Jean jacket. 3) Perm. 4) Synthesiser keyboard. 5) Rollerskates. 6) Synthesiser keyboard solo. 7) Cruise ship. 8) Dysentery 9) The ship listed and groaned. 10) I rose and struck him.
When Abbie said "make your story matter" I started laughing because it sounded like she said, "make your story madder", which made sense to me because we are cutting words -- precious words from our stories! I love Abbie.
~ 06:12 As someone who tends to overuse "actually", I am always alert to that particular word. And in your sentence "It's actually adorable -- soft beach waves that touch my shoulders," removing "actually" would strengthen your sentence. (I almost automatically said "would actually strengthen", but it's unnecessary there, as well.) Also, I would personally make one further change: "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping my shoulders," or possibly "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping at my shoulders."
I feel like many people use "just" to soften their speech and become more relatable/likable. When I first started college, the girls would make fun of me for always using "big words" (and it was a private college), so I looked for ways to fit in better and cut the formality. But you're absolutely correct. We should not be less than we are to please others. Wow! You mentioned that you use "just" for the same reason, that it just sounds nice, lol! Thanks for this (and for the humor)!
I had no idea just how many times I used "then" in my novel. Over 250 times in 178 pages. I deleted or reworded them down to 84 (some of them used with a different meaning). Thank you! Part two Edit: I finished editing all the "just" words in my novel. Over 500 of them in 277 pages, down to 84. Holy hell! *EDIT: "was" - 1699 of them. I think I get why publishers have rejected my novel. The worst part is that I got my BA in English (Creative Writing) specifically to get a job as a proofreader/editor at a publishing company. I actually feel ashamed.
I feel your pain on “just”. I did a read through of the novel I’m working on with the sole goal of removing as many “just’s” as possible. I think I got rid of 90% :)
I tried to get rid of "that" (an often useless word) in one of my manuscripts, but then, one of my other books was published and I went over it one last time... I could have cried. "That" was everywhere. *sigh*
Just, then, is/was, very/really, started I didn't know is/was were weak, and I didn't know adverbs were weak either. The other words I knew were weak but it was sorta a habit. The thing is, is I write how I talk, and I don't talk in good grammar at all. So that always means I got to edit a lot
Sure, but... when you are writing in the first person, you are often conveying thoughts through words coming from a specific person. It's also important that you ask yourself who is 'speaking' and toss in words, phrases, and mannerisms specific to that person. This is doubly so if chapters or sections are told from alternating people. You modern teen is likely to use many of those words in their speech, so if a chapter is told from their view, then it's fine to use some of those words. Likewise, if you a section is told from the perspective of someone from a different time period, country, language, educational levels, etc. they might specifically use words and phrases specific to them.
19:24 With all due respect, I think the original was better than the corrected version. When you say "She was small and curvy," the first image I have in my mind is of her FACE. Whereas when you say, "A lacy dress hugged her body," the first thing I imagine is the dress around the silhouette.
Hehe. Woops. Turns out I use a lot of weak words. Especially "then," "is/was," "started," "somewhat/slightly," and "seem" Saving this video for when I finish the first draft of my current story and begin the proofreading stage.
My first reaction to this video loading up was, "WOW, her hair looks AMAZING." 😂 "See how marginally better that is?" That's literally me whenever I edit my writing 😂
She gives us the tip of deleting weak words, and unlike every other channel she makes a whole other 20 minute video about what those words are. Abbie, you are amazing.
Then! "And then they" is my writing block blocker...my filler phrase so I don't get stuck. It's satisfying to search the phrase and fill in the scene after writing the story! Thanks for great videos. You're inspiring and so helpful!
You might want to check out Ernest Hemingway's or Shirley Jackson's short stories and some of their novels if you want examples of how to show your stories. Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House and Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea are short novels because these two limit their narrators' voices and allow the characters to do the describing. Another good example of showing would be Hemingway's short story A Clean, Well Lighted Place.
I will offer another case where "then" is useful: in the standalone phrase "and then" as a quick stop for contrasting pace after a fast or tense series of descriptions. So you've got a paragraph where one thing after another is happening, either in quick succession, or otherwise building lots of tension, over and over, no way out, eating away at your character left and right and all around -- and then... nothing. And then -- silence. And then, it stops. I think that use of "and then" can be extremely effective at both transitioning your pace *and* contrasting the pace itself with the chaos going on in the scene otherwise.
Criiiinge...I remember writing; "*Insert character name* looked intrigued" FACE PALM DX I am guilty of using weak words...I try not to..I'm usually aware I'm using a weak word or doing too much telling, but I suffer from writer's block at times and I word rather write crummy smut than nothing at all. Once I stared down at an empty page for probably 10 minutes because I was so afraid of writing something lame and amateur. Well...I plan to worry about the rubbish in my stories when I edit them. Thank you for this!
I can't stop watching her video after I found this channel. Thank you so much, you are so inspiring me. Finally, after a long time, i can do writing, and enjoy the process. Warm greetings from Indonesia 😊
On top of all of the "when to keep and when to cut" rules, I'd add that, IMO, these rules can be bent or outright broken when it serves the tone (even beyond the dialogue). But, how to do that is contextual both to the over all work and the scene, so I get why it wouldn't be mentioned here.
I think the most annoying adverb ever, that me myself fall into the trap of overusing generallly in life and not just in writing is "LITERALLY". Like, you can't say it all the time, it's LITERALLY impossible, PLUS, what is the psychosis with literacy and objectivity when 90% of our languages are LITERALLY metaphors, metonymies, idioms..., in a few words, FIGURATIVE, thus subjective. (Our linguistics courses in metaphors and metonymies have just rounded up, so yeah, I'm LITERALLY affected!!)
A good tip for suddenly is to use sudden instead, it’s a lot less glaring. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. There was a sudden knock on the door.
This is good because suddenly describes perception which is redundant because we're already perceiving it. Sudden describes the actual action. The knock is sudden- that's a characteristic of the knock, maybe it's fast and sharp, maybe the knocks were really close together so it ended as soon as it started and felt jarring, but yeah this is an excellent tip
Thank you so much for this Abbie! I never realized how pointless these words can be. I went through one of my stories today and cut out a lot of these words when I saw them serving no purpose in my stories.
I was _somewhat_ struggling with my writing, _then suddenly_ this video popped up and _then I started_ to listen, and it was _just_ as if things _somewhat started to_ make sense. Thank you _very_ much Abbie, _definitely_ gonna try this _really_ soon.
~ 06:43 NO! NO! NO! "Is/was" is not, CANNOT be, by itself, passive voice. I've learned a lot from you, but you are mistaken here. Neither "is" nor "was" (nor any other form of "to be") can make passive voice, which requires that the subject be acted upon BY someone or something. "Mary is happy," is not passive voice; no one did anything to her. "Is" links the predicate adjective "happy" back to "Mary". "John was walking down the street with his Dalmatian when I last saw him," is not passive voice; no one did anything to him; "was walking" is merely past progressive tense. "Spot is walked by John every day except Thursday," IS passive voice; the subject "Spot" is being acted upon, rather than doing the action himself. "Three people were struck by lightning on Thursday," IS passive voice, but may be preferable to "Lightning struck three people on Thursday," depending on context.
This WAS JUST a great video. I SOMEHOW knew this would help me when it STARTED, and THEN the video ended and I WAS DEFINITELY correct. You SEEM like a REALLY great writer. I SUDDENLY had an irresistible urge to write this comment saying thank you. I hope it reads well, I think it IS SLIGHTLY great. Seriously, thanks.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I've added this video to my Writing Secrets and Tips Playlist, yet I wonder if writing is losing its way. The push for stronger writing seems, to me, to produce a kind of autistic, robotic and unrelaxed narrative. There seems to be a sense of urgency in it that slowly overwhelms me, like watching documentaries all day instead of rom/coms; constantly strong writing fatigues my my mind and depresses my spirit. I'm not saying that your writing does this to me, or that this advice you gave is not valuable, it is good advice and the reason I added it to my playlist. I am an autistic person, and my thoughts and way of thinking are often curt, brutally honest, and direct. I like narration that is chill, yet warm, like sitting at a campfire, during a starry night, as some old camp worker tells us a ghost story. Can writing styles be too immediate in temper? I want that softer temper and some distance. Am I even using the word temper correctly in this case? Maybe we can invent a word or classification that deals with this, or does one already exist?
I just have to say, I started looking out for "was" especially in my current novel and I USE IT SO MUCH. And the sentences are so much stronger and more poetic every time I restructure them. So thank you for that. The sad thing is I was taught this a FEW times and I still let the habit creep back in. Thanks for your great content.
I was looking through the words using find and replace on chapter one in my books and thought. “wow I’m not using too much of any of these. Until I got to “was”… the computer said I used it 74 times. Time to edit!
I have a character who thinks and speaks in passive-voice because that's part of their communication culture, but I try to limit it to those instances only!~
Thank you for all your help. Too many successful writers out there only offer advice that would improve our writing if we're willing to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars first. Learning from you feels like I'm in a writing group with the best and kindest teacher I've every had
I’m so glad I found your channel! Like many other commenters here, I am an aspiring writer but I have difficulty with writers block and I suspect it is because I’m unhappy with how my sentences look on paper. This helped me so much! I’m excited to try writing again! Also I couldn’t help noticing that all of your examples are in present tense rather than a past tense like most books and stories. For instance, your example of “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snaps, turning away from us both.”” Usually you would see it as “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snapped, turning away from us both.” Why is that? Thanks 😊😊
i'm writing a short horror fanfiction, which is going to be my first ever story that I ever post publicly, and this video has helped me so much with editing. thank you so much abbie! ❤
Calling out Disney for their atrocious handling of Star Wars! My husband used to bash the prequels so bad... then Disney (who are usually very good with their storytelling) make up all their own rules that actually BREAK the Star Wars universe and now my husband has accepted the previously estranged Episodes because of the horrendous atrocity that is Rae and hyperspace ship destroying!!!! Sorry Disney, you messed this up really bad.
this is such good advice. I love your channel a lot because you not only say "cut it/delete it/do something else", but you explain the reason behind it and also say it's fine to use something for a special purpose. Most people just say "delete suddenly", but then you ask yourself why the word even exists if it should be banned all the time? So yes, thanks, great advice from you, I learned so, so much.
Abbie, I feel so roasted watching this! Whew! 😂 Got me checking myself here with my own book I'm writing. Thanks so much! So glad I came across your channel 💕
Thanks for using examples and for giving a follow up with a general rule as to where and where not to use these words. This video is a keeper, because the topic is so well presented! 😊🙌🏾
Abby Emmons! Removing the word "was" had some serious magical power with my writing. I couldn't get past the "dullness" of my writing. Having to work around using "was" has pressed my into further creativity and even if there are less words!! My paragraphs are so much more interesting now. Shorter but richer--keep up the good work!!
I suddenly started to realise that i was using a lot of these words while watching this video. I just definitely use then too much. It really seems like somehow i need to cut that out slightly
What I'm most guilty of is using way too many commas and repeating words. I also make things too obvious instead of trusting the readers to understand what I mean.
@@tiny754 Oh man! Yeah, me too. Like, hyper descriptive? But in a way that's more confusing than illuminating!!! This should be the second bonus answer...
@@MissRuthina Well not so much descriptions but like I over explain things in the dialogue. Also I switch back and forth between tenses and that's another big issue I have. The comma thing isn't actually that bad.
I really appreciate that you give consideration for when to not cut these words. Exceptions exist in every rule of writing, I think. It's art after all.
I love Abby's description of somehow bc it made me realize where I use it to much, but it also gave me the correct reasoning to use it! It made me realize that i can use somehow to make the reader question the reasoning behind it. Like if a character has magic but "somehow" can't use it or is "somehow" able to do something but doesn't know they have magic, that can give the reader questions that keep them interested and even help with dramatic irony. That may seem like basic knowledge or whatever but it clicked in my mind bc of this!
I struggle with both passive voice and "show don't tell" and honestly this is the best explanation of what I am doing wrong that I have ever found. Thank you.
A few of your weak words actually worked for me. I liked them and thought they should be kept. Yet we get the point. Thanks so much. My general rule is to make every word on the page bright, clear, colorful, and engaging. Use every trick possible to make your reader not 'ready to put the book down just yet,' even though the dishes have been sitting in the sink for over three hours now and are starting to make the dog barf.
You know what's ridiculous about these kinds of conventions? Clearly, the human brain likes thinking this way. It understands the purpose of these words in the stories perfectly well, which is why they come so easily to writing. Weasel words should mostly be avoided, and overuse of most any word is bad, but sometimes they are the right word for the situation.
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1. Suddenly
2. Then
3. Very/really
4. Is/Was
5. Started
6. Just
7. Somewhat/slightly
8. Somehow
9. Seem
10. Definitely
Thanks so much Abbie! Second draft is gonna have a lot of edits!
Wow I use suddenly a lot
@@leannemcelroy8482 same xD
2:43 suddenly
4:17 then
5:38 very/really
6:41 is/was
8:21 started
9:37 just
10:53 somewhat/slightly
12:27 somehow
13:59 seem
15:18 definitely
16:35 adverbs
@@oliverhellwig thanxxxx
I use suddenly so much-
"Using the word 'somehow' is a mark of lazy writing"
*"Somehow, Palpatine returned"*
Somehiw i scroll the comments section only to find Palpatine and i wasn't disappointed.
I swear all of our minds collectively went to that as soon as she said "somehow."
It's dialog, though, which was the exception.
*Next up:* "Somehow, Robert Downey Jr. returned."
Literally just came down here to comment this!
Guess I should omit the following sentence from my novel: “Very suddenly, I started to realize I was then just somewhat alive-somehow, it seemed, I had definitely survived death.”
It does fit well for a zombie comedy.
This is just from a reader's perspective as I don't write, but you should. The sentence feels too wordy, as if it's trying to fit in as many words as possible.
@@leewardly I think its a joke 💀
@@filo4854 yeh
This is what pay by word used to create,
I'm always wary of videos saying "never do this" because realistically you can't apply one rule to everything. But you not only explain how not to use it, but also how we CAN use it effectively. That is so much more useful to make sure we know what we're doing. I'm guilty of a lot of those and I feel like I can actually improve with this.
Same, this video is a banger
Can we have a moment of silence to appreciate how much research and time Abbie puts to make these videos for us and help us become the best writers possible 💛? Thank you, Abbie 😊.
I definitely agree. Abbie is a source of inspiration she is amazing and all the effort she put in her videos is what makes her special. She is unique and I loved her “100 days of sunlight” novel ✨💕
@@myownstory4030 She incredibly inspires me, too, and I wouldn't be where I am in my novel, to be honest, without her guidance to pull me through.
Blue_Moon_Wolf_07
I can definitely relate
I love Abbie's videos and I can really relate to how she explains things. I have the book she always refers to, Story Genius, but to have it explained in a video and have realistic examples given helps tremendously. Now I've been spoilt. Now when I watch videos from other RUclipsrs on the craft of writing, the explanations seem vague and the instructions on how to create characters especially seem to be almost clinical in comparison. Thank you, Abbie with an "ie"!
@@SusanCartersBooks Yup. Abbie has helped me more than any other writing channel. I get what you mean when you say they're "vague". They can be sometimes. She does explain really well, and it makes it so much easier and funner for me along the way 😊.
I'm glad you specified that dialogue often uses "weak words"
Like "Somehow... Palpatine returned." Definitely not lazy writing!
Weak people do that all their lifespans long! 🤣
I have to say that I like the description "she was small and curvy" way more than "the dress hugged her curvy figure". I'm not sure why, but I'll try to explain. With the first description, an image immediately springs up in my mind. The second one is weirdly focused on her dress for some reason. Maybe if the narrator is super into dresses and clothes, it's good, but I am more interested in the character itself. If that makes sense.
Yea cuz the second one has the dress as the main focus and if you want her figure to be the main focus that isn't really the goal. So, if you want to focus on the dress, second one works best, and if you want to focus on her figure, first one works best.
Because the first one is an actual description that tells you what you need to know in a concise, clear, straightforward way, that everyone will understand right away and that can't be misinterpreted.
To me, the second one just sounds like someone trying too hard to write like a "proper" writer. I honestly hated books that used such descriptions everywhere. I always have to stop and do a double take, before I untangle the message, and then I'm just like "why did you say this in such a roundabout way?". And it could be interesting if there was an actual answer - that second description makes me feel like the dress has agency and personality, that perhaps there's a meaning behind that, maybe this is to highlight the character feeling a specific way, maybe this is foreshadowing for something else. But a lot of the time it seems like the only answer is "that's just how writing is done".
Especially if those are everywhere within a particular text - then I feel like *everything* demands focus, attention and deeper analysis, which quickly becomes exhausting to me. I get easily distracted and if there is too much of *that* in a row, I forget the actual story. It doesn't create a more vivid or lively image for me, which I imagine would be the point of writing like that, it just creates a mess of an abstract painting.
I don't mind flowery language and personification and whatnot, but I wish writers saved it for the important moments.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@@turnbased608 These videos should always be taken with a big grain of salt. I would personally suggest to go and scrutinise books of authors you enjoy to read. I've seen many videos giving different types of 'forbidden' or 'undesirable' words. Or filter words as some call them. And then I go read a book from someone like Brandon Sanderson and see them using these words all the time. And not like 'when it makes sense' but willi-nilli as if they genuinely don't give a damn.
And you know what? It's enjoyable to read. Those words don't ruin anything.
The verdict.....: He stares at me somehow blinking at me like im somewhat of ghost. Then he Suddenly seems to definitely pull off his headphones.
I'm guilty of EVERY SINGLE one of these
Glad I know now :3
dont worry i use all them all the time 😅
They're pretty normal words, you can use them just the matter is when.
Me too😅
*cough* Yeah, and you sure are the only person in this universe. NO, you are not! 😉
Lots of writers have this hangup about “Passive Voice” and I’m not sure why. I guess it’s when they are overused or misused. I love passive words... when I am describing passive things. Active words pack too much punch. Adverbs can change how the reader perceives your character and/or their actions. At least in how I read and how I write.
For instance, this is how I would read her examples:
So in her first example “sympathetically” it sounds soft and forgiving and, well, ‘passive’, so the “...we forgive you...” sounds genuine. However, using “sympathetic” sounds, to use her expression, “in your face” so ‘the forgiveness’ comes across, to me at least, as sarcastic or insincere. Same for the mom; “bitterly” is mild, so it sounds the mom is being passive aggressive. As opposed to her snapping, which sounds more like unbridled anger. You get an entirely different mental picture depending on the words used.
But maybe that's just me and I am weird. IMO Think about the scene in your head and use what’s best. I write for fun, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's an art not a science. The rules are fine but fiction is about creating a feeling - bringing something emotional out of the reader, helping them imagine your world. Doing that well doesn't follow simple logical rules
I agree with you. This "rules" are more like "it depends" at the end of the day.
No, i felt that too. Change of word can change the meaning entirely. I think the unnecessary word was when that one exact word got erased and the sentence felt the same as before.
Yeah, I actually noticed that change in feeling from a lot of the sentences. Like... there's a lot of internal voice that goes into "unnecessary" words. Like, "I definitely don't want to" just... sounds different than "I don't want to." A little more pleading, which fits with describing yourself as almost a "basketcase."
I agree. A lot of it depends on what kind of mood you want to set. Take a look at _The Night Circus_, for example. The passive voice is part of what gives it that dreamy, slightly removed from reality vibe. On the other hand, if you're writing an action thriller, passive voice will detract from the tension and momentum of the work.
I think "very/really" may be my weak word dependency.
"Crutch" words
Search up synonyms for the words you partner with those,
You'll be surprised with the results
"Definitely" has its uses, especially when it is conveying 'voice.' Your character might use 'definitely' to emphasize how committed she is to not crying. The impact later, if she does cry, is quite a bit different than if she merely says, "I don't want to cry." Writing in first person legitimizes pretty much all of the things you discuss because we are basically hearing self-talk, so anything that flies in conversation has a shot at being acceptable.
Thanks, I was looking for this comment! I also found this example not fitting, as it is basically also "dialogue" because it is an inner monologue and can contain such idioms or even slang without distraction. You should definitely avoid it in a neutral description ;)
me that has used every single word she said in my stories: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine
"Somehow... Palpatine returned." Lol
I'm super guilty of writing in passive voice, using adverbs, and was/is. I feel like I need to rewire my brain to get out of passive headspace! Thanks for this great video, Abbie! Definitely going to save it to help me get through my editing.
Sabrina Hill-Davis honestly, I’ve read several traditionally published authors books where they use passive voice where they could’ve written the sentence differently and didn’t. I see so much passive voice in traditionally published books.
Same. Prowriting aid has been helping me with this.
Why is using adverbs considered a bad thing?
(I thought that was what the comment was saying, sorry if I misunderstood)
My perspective may be skewed as English is not my native language, despite it being the one to which I'm the most exposed and I use the most, but personally I find the good old is/was clear and effective, so long as they are not abused (e.g. a list of descriptors in which something/someone was A, was B, was C).
More creative active sentences are nice and work well when they are trying to deliver a specific tone or feeling or focus the reader's attention on a specific element. In other instances, I find they sound overly flowery and slightly pretentious, as well as making the sentence harder to follow (I feel the same when reading a text in my native language).
"Mary had her back to him, stirring cream into her coffee at the counter. But she slightly heard his footsteps on the stairs, even over the noise."
Suddenly, there was a notification in my inbox. Abbie uploaded a new video and I just had to click right away! She really gives very good advice. Abbie is a genius and that video was so helpful; I started watching it while I drank my morning coffee. I just think the information provided was somewhat helpful, even more than slightly. Somehow, I think I'll replay it again in the future and use it when I edit my manuscript. After all, it seemed really well thought out - the examples were so useful. I definitely love Wednesdays, because that's when Abbie graces us with new videos!
Bravo
well done
Me too.
Nice usage of the aforementioned weak words. ;)
Haha!
I definitely use definitely way too offen. I definitely have a problem with definitely needing to make it definite that my characters are definitely taking definitive action.
It's definitely showing
@@jtpikachu1012 LOL
@@jtpikachu1012 Definitely agree with you.
you are definitely overusing the word "definitely"
@@AlpineSunshine_ They definitely are. It definitely shows how much they need to cut it off from their vocabulary. It is definitely ruining it.
Just woke up totally not ready for school, first thing I see is Abby’s notification you know what that means...
Ima be late for school
Oh, well. These videos are a priority 😂.
Haha, I was having dinner, I'm about to go to bed now lol.
"Somehow, Palpatine returned.", came to mind very quickly.
The best part of every Wednesday :)
I couldn't agree more 😊👍🏻. I get so excited when I realize that a new video is coming up the next day and is actually one of the first things I do in the morning.
I'm in Australia so it's more like a Thursday for me 😅
Here are my own top 10 weak words / phrases:
1) Jeans.
2) Jean jacket.
3) Perm.
4) Synthesiser keyboard.
5) Rollerskates.
6) Synthesiser keyboard solo.
7) Cruise ship.
8) Dysentery
9) The ship listed and groaned.
10) I rose and struck him.
When Abbie said "make your story matter" I started laughing because it sounded like she said, "make your story madder", which made sense to me because we are cutting words -- precious words from our stories! I love Abbie.
Madder? My story is crazy enough as it is
I'm from Spain (so I write in spanish) and I can tell this advice is good for every language. Thanks Abbie!
I write in French and I'd say the same 😊
As always, love your content. One of these days, Abbie, I am going to finish my book. And it will be largely because of your videos.
~ 06:12 As someone who tends to overuse "actually", I am always alert to that particular word. And in your sentence "It's actually adorable -- soft beach waves that touch my shoulders," removing "actually" would strengthen your sentence. (I almost automatically said "would actually strengthen", but it's unnecessary there, as well.) Also, I would personally make one further change: "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping my shoulders," or possibly "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping at my shoulders."
'Just' is one of my major filler words.
Thank you Abby for that app recommendation! Can't wait to check it out.
I feel like many people use "just" to soften their speech and become more relatable/likable. When I first started college, the girls would make fun of me for always using "big words" (and it was a private college), so I looked for ways to fit in better and cut the formality. But you're absolutely correct. We should not be less than we are to please others.
Wow! You mentioned that you use "just" for the same reason, that it just sounds nice, lol! Thanks for this (and for the humor)!
I'm guilty of using 'slightly' and 'seemed' way too much. Man, oh man, I have a lot of editing to do. Thanks, Abbie! Your videos are fantastic!! :)
I totally agree that in dialog, weak words are often a fantastic option.... I'm also a fan of realistic dialog.
I had no idea just how many times I used "then" in my novel. Over 250 times in 178 pages. I deleted or reworded them down to 84 (some of them used with a different meaning). Thank you!
Part two Edit: I finished editing all the "just" words in my novel. Over 500 of them in 277 pages, down to 84. Holy hell! *EDIT: "was" - 1699 of them. I think I get why publishers have rejected my novel. The worst part is that I got my BA in English (Creative Writing) specifically to get a job as a proofreader/editor at a publishing company. I actually feel ashamed.
Well done! I'm about to go and check mine!
I'm incredibly guilty of 'just'
Lol, "just". I just culled 47 instances of this word from my short story. Down to 8, and mostly in dialogue that it fits.
I feel your pain on “just”. I did a read through of the novel I’m working on with the sole goal of removing as many “just’s” as possible. I think I got rid of 90% :)
I tried to get rid of "that" (an often useless word) in one of my
manuscripts, but then, one of my other books was published and I went
over it one last time... I could have cried. "That" was everywhere.
*sigh*
Just, then, is/was, very/really, started
I didn't know is/was were weak, and I didn't know adverbs were weak either. The other words I knew were weak but it was sorta a habit. The thing is, is I write how I talk, and I don't talk in good grammar at all. So that always means I got to edit a lot
I once found 9 'just' and 15 'then' in a 1500 word chapter.
Sure, but... when you are writing in the first person, you are often conveying thoughts through words coming from a specific person. It's also important that you ask yourself who is 'speaking' and toss in words, phrases, and mannerisms specific to that person. This is doubly so if chapters or sections are told from alternating people. You modern teen is likely to use many of those words in their speech, so if a chapter is told from their view, then it's fine to use some of those words. Likewise, if you a section is told from the perspective of someone from a different time period, country, language, educational levels, etc. they might specifically use words and phrases specific to them.
Think I'm most guilty of "Definitely" and "Seem". Most of these I'm (thankfully) already *painfully* aware of when I try to write anything 🙈
19:24 With all due respect, I think the original was better than the corrected version. When you say "She was small and curvy," the first image I have in my mind is of her FACE. Whereas when you say, "A lacy dress hugged her body," the first thing I imagine is the dress around the silhouette.
I like this girl she gets to the point quicker than anyone else!
Hehe. Woops.
Turns out I use a lot of weak words. Especially "then," "is/was," "started," "somewhat/slightly," and "seem"
Saving this video for when I finish the first draft of my current story and begin the proofreading stage.
My first reaction to this video loading up was, "WOW, her hair looks AMAZING." 😂
"See how marginally better that is?" That's literally me whenever I edit my writing 😂
She gives us the tip of deleting weak words, and unlike every other channel she makes a whole other 20 minute video about what those words are.
Abbie, you are amazing.
me: looks at my writing for the word “was”
also me: 👁👄👁 there’s so many
Me too actually 😅
I hear you. After I watched this video, I realized how many times I used the word "Just".
Ikr😂
As a past tense righter, this would be hell 😅
I use "seem" a lot TT I'll cut when I finish my final manuscript
Abbie, you just ripped me of my most cherished vocabularies. All my favourite words 😫
Then! "And then they" is my writing block blocker...my filler phrase so I don't get stuck. It's satisfying to search the phrase and fill in the scene after writing the story!
Thanks for great videos. You're inspiring and so helpful!
Then, suddenly he started to lean back somewhat, just seeming very exhausted somehow. Yes, he was definitely really tired.
As a novice writer, I can't thank you enough for this video. Still doing my best to show and not tell, and this video really helps with that.
You might want to check out Ernest Hemingway's or Shirley Jackson's short stories and some of their novels if you want examples of how to show your stories. Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House and Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea are short novels because these two limit their narrators' voices and allow the characters to do the describing. Another good example of showing would be Hemingway's short story A Clean, Well Lighted Place.
I will offer another case where "then" is useful: in the standalone phrase "and then" as a quick stop for contrasting pace after a fast or tense series of descriptions. So you've got a paragraph where one thing after another is happening, either in quick succession, or otherwise building lots of tension, over and over, no way out, eating away at your character left and right and all around -- and then... nothing. And then -- silence. And then, it stops.
I think that use of "and then" can be extremely effective at both transitioning your pace *and* contrasting the pace itself with the chaos going on in the scene otherwise.
Criiiinge...I remember writing; "*Insert character name* looked intrigued" FACE PALM DX
I am guilty of using weak words...I try not to..I'm usually aware I'm using a weak word or doing too much telling, but I suffer from writer's block at times and I word rather write crummy smut than nothing at all. Once I stared down at an empty page for probably 10 minutes because I was so afraid of writing something lame and amateur.
Well...I plan to worry about the rubbish in my stories when I edit them.
Thank you for this!
Then suddenly I really just learned something.. That helped a lot!
Somehow Palpatine returned
Thanks, I may even have used such words on occasion. I got a better feel for nuance from this also.
I can't stop watching her video after I found this channel. Thank you so much, you are so inspiring me.
Finally, after a long time, i can do writing, and enjoy the process.
Warm greetings from Indonesia 😊
I'm so guilty of "then." Thank you for this video, it helped me clean up my writing!
On top of all of the "when to keep and when to cut" rules, I'd add that, IMO, these rules can be bent or outright broken when it serves the tone (even beyond the dialogue). But, how to do that is contextual both to the over all work and the scene, so I get why it wouldn't be mentioned here.
I think the most annoying adverb ever, that me myself fall into the trap of overusing generallly in life and not just in writing is "LITERALLY". Like, you can't say it all the time, it's LITERALLY impossible, PLUS, what is the psychosis with literacy and objectivity when 90% of our languages are LITERALLY metaphors, metonymies, idioms..., in a few words, FIGURATIVE, thus subjective. (Our linguistics courses in metaphors and metonymies have just rounded up, so yeah, I'm LITERALLY affected!!)
A good tip for suddenly is to use sudden instead, it’s a lot less glaring.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
There was a sudden knock on the door.
Hey, that's a great tip!
This is good because suddenly describes perception which is redundant because we're already perceiving it. Sudden describes the actual action. The knock is sudden- that's a characteristic of the knock, maybe it's fast and sharp, maybe the knocks were really close together so it ended as soon as it started and felt jarring, but yeah this is an excellent tip
Thank you so much for this Abbie! I never realized how pointless these words can be. I went through one of my stories today and cut out a lot of these words when I saw them serving no purpose in my stories.
I was _somewhat_ struggling with my writing, _then suddenly_ this video popped up and _then I started_ to listen, and it was _just_ as if things _somewhat started to_ make sense. Thank you _very_ much Abbie, _definitely_ gonna try this _really_ soon.
Lol😅
~ 06:43 NO! NO! NO! "Is/was" is not, CANNOT be, by itself, passive voice. I've learned a lot from you, but you are mistaken here. Neither "is" nor "was" (nor any other form of "to be") can make passive voice, which requires that the subject be acted upon BY someone or something. "Mary is happy," is not passive voice; no one did anything to her. "Is" links the predicate adjective "happy" back to "Mary". "John was walking down the street with his Dalmatian when I last saw him," is not passive voice; no one did anything to him; "was walking" is merely past progressive tense. "Spot is walked by John every day except Thursday," IS passive voice; the subject "Spot" is being acted upon, rather than doing the action himself. "Three people were struck by lightning on Thursday," IS passive voice, but may be preferable to "Lightning struck three people on Thursday," depending on context.
This WAS JUST a great video. I SOMEHOW knew this would help me when it STARTED, and THEN the video ended and I WAS DEFINITELY correct. You SEEM like a REALLY great writer. I SUDDENLY had an irresistible urge to write this comment saying thank you. I hope it reads well, I think it IS SLIGHTLY great.
Seriously, thanks.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I've added this video to my Writing Secrets and Tips Playlist, yet I wonder if writing is losing its way. The push for stronger writing seems, to me, to produce a kind of autistic, robotic and unrelaxed narrative. There seems to be a sense of urgency in it that slowly overwhelms me, like watching documentaries all day instead of rom/coms; constantly strong writing fatigues my my mind and depresses my spirit. I'm not saying that your writing does this to me, or that this advice you gave is not valuable, it is good advice and the reason I added it to my playlist. I am an autistic person, and my thoughts and way of thinking are often curt, brutally honest, and direct. I like narration that is chill, yet warm, like sitting at a campfire, during a starry night, as some old camp worker tells us a ghost story. Can writing styles be too immediate in temper? I want that softer temper and some distance. Am I even using the word temper correctly in this case? Maybe we can invent a word or classification that deals with this, or does one already exist?
In the sentence: After that, she curls my hair for me. Shouldn't the "for me" be dropped too ?
Yes
ya
That would actually sound better
Maybe, but I feel like it implies that she wants it done. It could be "for her" when the other person wants it done and not her.
It depends
It is not necessarily bad, in fact that works if done right
I just have to say, I started looking out for "was" especially in my current novel and I USE IT SO MUCH. And the sentences are so much stronger and more poetic every time I restructure them. So thank you for that. The sad thing is I was taught this a FEW times and I still let the habit creep back in. Thanks for your great content.
I use suddenly all the time, I never know how to smoothly go from one action to another 😂😬
I was looking through the words using find and replace on chapter one in my books and thought. “wow I’m not using too much of any of these. Until I got to “was”… the computer said I used it 74 times. Time to edit!
I have a character who thinks and speaks in passive-voice because that's part of their communication culture, but I try to limit it to those instances only!~
Word #11 - “literally”. A word that you use at least 4 times in this video, that has been so overused that it doesn’t mean anything anymore.
Thank you for all your help. Too many successful writers out there only offer advice that would improve our writing if we're willing to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars first. Learning from you feels like I'm in a writing group with the best and kindest teacher I've every had
I've had stories rolling around my brain for years I'm just beginning to write them down. I'm fairly new to writing thank you for your writing advice.
These videos are literally the best!! They help me so much with my writing! Everybody..have a great day!!☺✅
I’m so glad I found your channel! Like many other commenters here, I am an aspiring writer but I have difficulty with writers block and I suspect it is because I’m unhappy with how my sentences look on paper. This helped me so much! I’m excited to try writing again!
Also I couldn’t help noticing that all of your examples are in present tense rather than a past tense like most books and stories. For instance, your example of “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snaps, turning away from us both.”” Usually you would see it as “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snapped, turning away from us both.” Why is that? Thanks 😊😊
Me: *using the word THEN and other fillers for Nano a lot so my word count goes up faster*
i'm writing a short horror fanfiction, which is going to be my first ever story that I ever post publicly, and this video has helped me so much with editing. thank you so much abbie! ❤
Some of those words I never thought about from that perspective. Your videos are always so helpful!!! 🥰🥰
12:32
My first thought: "Somehow, Palpatine returned."
Abby calling out the Star Wars writers. XD
Calling out Disney for their atrocious handling of Star Wars!
My husband used to bash the prequels so bad... then Disney (who are usually very good with their storytelling) make up all their own rules that actually BREAK the Star Wars universe and now my husband has accepted the previously estranged Episodes because of the horrendous atrocity that is Rae and hyperspace ship destroying!!!!
Sorry Disney, you messed this up really bad.
this is such good advice. I love your channel a lot because you not only say "cut it/delete it/do something else", but you explain the reason behind it and also say it's fine to use something for a special purpose. Most people just say "delete suddenly", but then you ask yourself why the word even exists if it should be banned all the time? So yes, thanks, great advice from you, I learned so, so much.
Abbie, I feel so roasted watching this! Whew! 😂 Got me checking myself here with my own book I'm writing. Thanks so much! So glad I came across your channel 💕
Thanks for using examples and for giving a follow up with a general rule as to where and where not to use these words. This video is a keeper, because the topic is so well presented! 😊🙌🏾
This was amazingly in-depth and SUPER helpful! I’m soooo glad to have come across you page. You got yourself a new subscriber. Thank you again!
Abby Emmons! Removing the word "was" had some serious magical power with my writing. I couldn't get past the "dullness" of my writing. Having to work around using "was" has pressed my into further creativity and even if there are less words!! My paragraphs are so much more interesting now. Shorter but richer--keep up the good work!!
This was fantastic. Thanks for putting in all the work to make this!
here are some replacement for suddenly and then
Suddenly: Unexpectedly
Then: After this or that
I follow a bunch of AuthorTubers and Abbie is undoubtedly the most professional. I look forward to her insights every week.
I'd add these to the list: Literally and Actually.
I love when a character talks realistically 😂
'Apparently' and 'meanwhile' are my most over-used weak words.
Somehow Palpatine returned......
I suddenly started to realise that i was using a lot of these words while watching this video. I just definitely use then too much. It really seems like somehow i need to cut that out slightly
When you realize you're not guilty of Weak Words Syndrome, and you get a sudden confidence boost. 😎😅
🙀
What I'm most guilty of is using way too many commas and repeating words. I also make things too obvious instead of trusting the readers to understand what I mean.
@@tiny754 Oh man! Yeah, me too. Like, hyper descriptive? But in a way that's more confusing than illuminating!!! This should be the second bonus answer...
@@MissRuthina Well not so much descriptions but like I over explain things in the dialogue. Also I switch back and forth between tenses and that's another big issue I have. The comma thing isn't actually that bad.
Nicole Jackson
Same! I suffer from OCD so It makes my, already comma-packed novels, worse. 😂
I really appreciate that you give consideration for when to not cut these words. Exceptions exist in every rule of writing, I think. It's art after all.
I love Abby's description of somehow bc it made me realize where I use it to much, but it also gave me the correct reasoning to use it! It made me realize that i can use somehow to make the reader question the reasoning behind it.
Like if a character has magic but "somehow" can't use it or is "somehow" able to do something but doesn't know they have magic, that can give the reader questions that keep them interested and even help with dramatic irony.
That may seem like basic knowledge or whatever but it clicked in my mind bc of this!
I struggle with both passive voice and "show don't tell" and honestly this is the best explanation of what I am doing wrong that I have ever found. Thank you.
SOMEHOW palpatine returned
Multimillion dollar budget. They had a multimillion dollar budget and they wrote "Somehow, Palpatine returned"
A few of your weak words actually worked for me. I liked them and thought they should be kept. Yet we get the point. Thanks so much. My general rule is to make every word on the page bright, clear, colorful, and engaging. Use every trick possible to make your reader not 'ready to put the book down just yet,' even though the dishes have been sitting in the sink for over three hours now and are starting to make the dog barf.
7:48 100 days of sunlight reference
You know what's ridiculous about these kinds of conventions? Clearly, the human brain likes thinking this way. It understands the purpose of these words in the stories perfectly well, which is why they come so easily to writing.
Weasel words should mostly be avoided, and overuse of most any word is bad, but sometimes they are the right word for the situation.
Our teacher had a rule that said we weren’t allowed to use when. 😆
That's another word I'm guilty of. You know, *when* I write, I just can't keep it off my paper... Lol