Guess I should omit the following sentence from my novel: “Very suddenly, I started to realize I was then just somewhat alive-somehow, it seemed, I had definitely survived death.”
This is just from a reader's perspective as I don't write, but you should. The sentence feels too wordy, as if it's trying to fit in as many words as possible.
Then suddenly, he realized that he was really just getting started on a somewhat intimidating venture of somehow writing something that definitely seemed worthwhile.
1. Suddenly 2. Then 3. Very/really 4. Is/Was 5. Started 6. Just 7. Somewhat/slightly 8. Somehow 9. Seem 10. Definitely Thanks so much Abbie! Second draft is gonna have a lot of edits!
Can we have a moment of silence to appreciate how much research and time Abbie puts to make these videos for us and help us become the best writers possible 💛? Thank you, Abbie 😊.
I definitely agree. Abbie is a source of inspiration she is amazing and all the effort she put in her videos is what makes her special. She is unique and I loved her “100 days of sunlight” novel ✨💕
I love Abbie's videos and I can really relate to how she explains things. I have the book she always refers to, Story Genius, but to have it explained in a video and have realistic examples given helps tremendously. Now I've been spoilt. Now when I watch videos from other RUclipsrs on the craft of writing, the explanations seem vague and the instructions on how to create characters especially seem to be almost clinical in comparison. Thank you, Abbie with an "ie"!
@@SusanCartersBooks Yup. Abbie has helped me more than any other writing channel. I get what you mean when you say they're "vague". They can be sometimes. She does explain really well, and it makes it so much easier and funner for me along the way 😊.
I have to say that I like the description "she was small and curvy" way more than "the dress hugged her curvy figure". I'm not sure why, but I'll try to explain. With the first description, an image immediately springs up in my mind. The second one is weirdly focused on her dress for some reason. Maybe if the narrator is super into dresses and clothes, it's good, but I am more interested in the character itself. If that makes sense.
Yea cuz the second one has the dress as the main focus and if you want her figure to be the main focus that isn't really the goal. So, if you want to focus on the dress, second one works best, and if you want to focus on her figure, first one works best.
Because the first one is an actual description that tells you what you need to know in a concise, clear, straightforward way, that everyone will understand right away and that can't be misinterpreted. To me, the second one just sounds like someone trying too hard to write like a "proper" writer. I honestly hated books that used such descriptions everywhere. I always have to stop and do a double take, before I untangle the message, and then I'm just like "why did you say this in such a roundabout way?". And it could be interesting if there was an actual answer - that second description makes me feel like the dress has agency and personality, that perhaps there's a meaning behind that, maybe this is to highlight the character feeling a specific way, maybe this is foreshadowing for something else. But a lot of the time it seems like the only answer is "that's just how writing is done". Especially if those are everywhere within a particular text - then I feel like *everything* demands focus, attention and deeper analysis, which quickly becomes exhausting to me. I get easily distracted and if there is too much of *that* in a row, I forget the actual story. It doesn't create a more vivid or lively image for me, which I imagine would be the point of writing like that, it just creates a mess of an abstract painting. I don't mind flowery language and personification and whatnot, but I wish writers saved it for the important moments.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@@turnbased608 These videos should always be taken with a big grain of salt. I would personally suggest to go and scrutinise books of authors you enjoy to read. I've seen many videos giving different types of 'forbidden' or 'undesirable' words. Or filter words as some call them. And then I go read a book from someone like Brandon Sanderson and see them using these words all the time. And not like 'when it makes sense' but willi-nilli as if they genuinely don't give a damn. And you know what? It's enjoyable to read. Those words don't ruin anything.
I'm always wary of videos saying "never do this" because realistically you can't apply one rule to everything. But you not only explain how not to use it, but also how we CAN use it effectively. That is so much more useful to make sure we know what we're doing. I'm guilty of a lot of those and I feel like I can actually improve with this.
Lots of writers have this hangup about “Passive Voice” and I’m not sure why. I guess it’s when they are overused or misused. I love passive words... when I am describing passive things. Active words pack too much punch. Adverbs can change how the reader perceives your character and/or their actions. At least in how I read and how I write. For instance, this is how I would read her examples: So in her first example “sympathetically” it sounds soft and forgiving and, well, ‘passive’, so the “...we forgive you...” sounds genuine. However, using “sympathetic” sounds, to use her expression, “in your face” so ‘the forgiveness’ comes across, to me at least, as sarcastic or insincere. Same for the mom; “bitterly” is mild, so it sounds the mom is being passive aggressive. As opposed to her snapping, which sounds more like unbridled anger. You get an entirely different mental picture depending on the words used. But maybe that's just me and I am weird. IMO Think about the scene in your head and use what’s best. I write for fun, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's an art not a science. The rules are fine but fiction is about creating a feeling - bringing something emotional out of the reader, helping them imagine your world. Doing that well doesn't follow simple logical rules
No, i felt that too. Change of word can change the meaning entirely. I think the unnecessary word was when that one exact word got erased and the sentence felt the same as before.
Yeah, I actually noticed that change in feeling from a lot of the sentences. Like... there's a lot of internal voice that goes into "unnecessary" words. Like, "I definitely don't want to" just... sounds different than "I don't want to." A little more pleading, which fits with describing yourself as almost a "basketcase."
I agree. A lot of it depends on what kind of mood you want to set. Take a look at _The Night Circus_, for example. The passive voice is part of what gives it that dreamy, slightly removed from reality vibe. On the other hand, if you're writing an action thriller, passive voice will detract from the tension and momentum of the work.
I'm super guilty of writing in passive voice, using adverbs, and was/is. I feel like I need to rewire my brain to get out of passive headspace! Thanks for this great video, Abbie! Definitely going to save it to help me get through my editing.
Sabrina Hill-Davis honestly, I’ve read several traditionally published authors books where they use passive voice where they could’ve written the sentence differently and didn’t. I see so much passive voice in traditionally published books.
My perspective may be skewed as English is not my native language, despite it being the one to which I'm the most exposed and I use the most, but personally I find the good old is/was clear and effective, so long as they are not abused (e.g. a list of descriptors in which something/someone was A, was B, was C). More creative active sentences are nice and work well when they are trying to deliver a specific tone or feeling or focus the reader's attention on a specific element. In other instances, I find they sound overly flowery and slightly pretentious, as well as making the sentence harder to follow (I feel the same when reading a text in my native language).
I think the best thing to do, if you feel this way, IS practice writing heavily in active voice. It definitely opens you up to more illustrative rather than descriptive sentences. However, there is definitely an art to knowing when you want the stream babbling and when the stream is silent. There's power in passive voice, it's more declarative. But you can't just declare everything, you have to show. I like to think of it as painting all the colors of a good cartoon with the active voice and then the outlines with the passive. Active voice is the way it feels and flows and fills but passive is where it must be truly limited and defined.
Suddenly, there was a notification in my inbox. Abbie uploaded a new video and I just had to click right away! She really gives very good advice. Abbie is a genius and that video was so helpful; I started watching it while I drank my morning coffee. I just think the information provided was somewhat helpful, even more than slightly. Somehow, I think I'll replay it again in the future and use it when I edit my manuscript. After all, it seemed really well thought out - the examples were so useful. I definitely love Wednesdays, because that's when Abbie graces us with new videos!
"Definitely" has its uses, especially when it is conveying 'voice.' Your character might use 'definitely' to emphasize how committed she is to not crying. The impact later, if she does cry, is quite a bit different than if she merely says, "I don't want to cry." Writing in first person legitimizes pretty much all of the things you discuss because we are basically hearing self-talk, so anything that flies in conversation has a shot at being acceptable.
Thanks, I was looking for this comment! I also found this example not fitting, as it is basically also "dialogue" because it is an inner monologue and can contain such idioms or even slang without distraction. You should definitely avoid it in a neutral description ;)
me that has used every single word she said in my stories: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine
When Abbie said "make your story matter" I started laughing because it sounded like she said, "make your story madder", which made sense to me because we are cutting words -- precious words from our stories! I love Abbie.
I definitely use definitely way too offen. I definitely have a problem with definitely needing to make it definite that my characters are definitely taking definitive action.
I feel like many people use "just" to soften their speech and become more relatable/likable. When I first started college, the girls would make fun of me for always using "big words" (and it was a private college), so I looked for ways to fit in better and cut the formality. But you're absolutely correct. We should not be less than we are to please others. Wow! You mentioned that you use "just" for the same reason, that it just sounds nice, lol! Thanks for this (and for the humor)!
I couldn't agree more 😊👍🏻. I get so excited when I realize that a new video is coming up the next day and is actually one of the first things I do in the morning.
She gives us the tip of deleting weak words, and unlike every other channel she makes a whole other 20 minute video about what those words are. Abbie, you are amazing.
I had no idea just how many times I used "then" in my novel. Over 250 times in 178 pages. I deleted or reworded them down to 84 (some of them used with a different meaning). Thank you! Part two Edit: I finished editing all the "just" words in my novel. Over 500 of them in 277 pages, down to 84. Holy hell! *EDIT: "was" - 1699 of them. I think I get why publishers have rejected my novel. The worst part is that I got my BA in English (Creative Writing) specifically to get a job as a proofreader/editor at a publishing company. I actually feel ashamed.
You might want to check out Ernest Hemingway's or Shirley Jackson's short stories and some of their novels if you want examples of how to show your stories. Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House and Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea are short novels because these two limit their narrators' voices and allow the characters to do the describing. Another good example of showing would be Hemingway's short story A Clean, Well Lighted Place.
Thanks for using examples and for giving a follow up with a general rule as to where and where not to use these words. This video is a keeper, because the topic is so well presented! 😊🙌🏾
I feel your pain on “just”. I did a read through of the novel I’m working on with the sole goal of removing as many “just’s” as possible. I think I got rid of 90% :)
As a romanian writer myself I can CONFIRM that we have the SAME PROBLEMS. AND YOUR ADVICES HELPED ME SO MUCH because I translated them mentally into my mother tongue and I was like:"Yup! This is practically the same!" So thanks! Love ya!❤
I tried to get rid of "that" (an often useless word) in one of my manuscripts, but then, one of my other books was published and I went over it one last time... I could have cried. "That" was everywhere. *sigh*
I’m so glad I found your channel! Like many other commenters here, I am an aspiring writer but I have difficulty with writers block and I suspect it is because I’m unhappy with how my sentences look on paper. This helped me so much! I’m excited to try writing again! Also I couldn’t help noticing that all of your examples are in present tense rather than a past tense like most books and stories. For instance, your example of “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snaps, turning away from us both.”” Usually you would see it as “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snapped, turning away from us both.” Why is that? Thanks 😊😊
this is such good advice. I love your channel a lot because you not only say "cut it/delete it/do something else", but you explain the reason behind it and also say it's fine to use something for a special purpose. Most people just say "delete suddenly", but then you ask yourself why the word even exists if it should be banned all the time? So yes, thanks, great advice from you, I learned so, so much.
I just have to say, I started looking out for "was" especially in my current novel and I USE IT SO MUCH. And the sentences are so much stronger and more poetic every time I restructure them. So thank you for that. The sad thing is I was taught this a FEW times and I still let the habit creep back in. Thanks for your great content.
Then! "And then they" is my writing block blocker...my filler phrase so I don't get stuck. It's satisfying to search the phrase and fill in the scene after writing the story! Thanks for great videos. You're inspiring and so helpful!
I am working on my first book and found your videos. I want to tell you how much this has helped me! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE WORK YOU PUT INTO YOUR VODEOS!!!
Thank you so much for this Abbie! I never realized how pointless these words can be. I went through one of my stories today and cut out a lot of these words when I saw them serving no purpose in my stories.
On top of all of the "when to keep and when to cut" rules, I'd add that, IMO, these rules can be bent or outright broken when it serves the tone (even beyond the dialogue). But, how to do that is contextual both to the over all work and the scene, so I get why it wouldn't be mentioned here.
My first reaction to this video loading up was, "WOW, her hair looks AMAZING." 😂 "See how marginally better that is?" That's literally me whenever I edit my writing 😂
I was _somewhat_ struggling with my writing, _then suddenly_ this video popped up and _then I started_ to listen, and it was _just_ as if things _somewhat started to_ make sense. Thank you _very_ much Abbie, _definitely_ gonna try this _really_ soon.
This WAS JUST a great video. I SOMEHOW knew this would help me when it STARTED, and THEN the video ended and I WAS DEFINITELY correct. You SEEM like a REALLY great writer. I SUDDENLY had an irresistible urge to write this comment saying thank you. I hope it reads well, I think it IS SLIGHTLY great. Seriously, thanks.
Abby Emmons! Removing the word "was" had some serious magical power with my writing. I couldn't get past the "dullness" of my writing. Having to work around using "was" has pressed my into further creativity and even if there are less words!! My paragraphs are so much more interesting now. Shorter but richer--keep up the good work!!
Calling out Disney for their atrocious handling of Star Wars! My husband used to bash the prequels so bad... then Disney (who are usually very good with their storytelling) make up all their own rules that actually BREAK the Star Wars universe and now my husband has accepted the previously estranged Episodes because of the horrendous atrocity that is Rae and hyperspace ship destroying!!!! Sorry Disney, you messed this up really bad.
~ 06:12 As someone who tends to overuse "actually", I am always alert to that particular word. And in your sentence "It's actually adorable -- soft beach waves that touch my shoulders," removing "actually" would strengthen your sentence. (I almost automatically said "would actually strengthen", but it's unnecessary there, as well.) Also, I would personally make one further change: "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping my shoulders," or possibly "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping at my shoulders."
I can't stop watching her video after I found this channel. Thank you so much, you are so inspiring me. Finally, after a long time, i can do writing, and enjoy the process. Warm greetings from Indonesia 😊
I was looking through the words using find and replace on chapter one in my books and thought. “wow I’m not using too much of any of these. Until I got to “was”… the computer said I used it 74 times. Time to edit!
Here are my own top 10 weak words / phrases: 1) Jeans. 2) Jean jacket. 3) Perm. 4) Synthesiser keyboard. 5) Rollerskates. 6) Synthesiser keyboard solo. 7) Cruise ship. 8) Dysentery 9) The ship listed and groaned. 10) I rose and struck him.
I really appreciate that you give consideration for when to not cut these words. Exceptions exist in every rule of writing, I think. It's art after all.
What I'm most guilty of is using way too many commas and repeating words. I also make things too obvious instead of trusting the readers to understand what I mean.
@@tiny754 Oh man! Yeah, me too. Like, hyper descriptive? But in a way that's more confusing than illuminating!!! This should be the second bonus answer...
@@MissRuthina Well not so much descriptions but like I over explain things in the dialogue. Also I switch back and forth between tenses and that's another big issue I have. The comma thing isn't actually that bad.
Hehe. Woops. Turns out I use a lot of weak words. Especially "then," "is/was," "started," "somewhat/slightly," and "seem" Saving this video for when I finish the first draft of my current story and begin the proofreading stage.
i'm writing a short horror fanfiction, which is going to be my first ever story that I ever post publicly, and this video has helped me so much with editing. thank you so much abbie! ❤
Criiiinge...I remember writing; "*Insert character name* looked intrigued" FACE PALM DX I am guilty of using weak words...I try not to..I'm usually aware I'm using a weak word or doing too much telling, but I suffer from writer's block at times and I word rather write crummy smut than nothing at all. Once I stared down at an empty page for probably 10 minutes because I was so afraid of writing something lame and amateur. Well...I plan to worry about the rubbish in my stories when I edit them. Thank you for this!
Abbie, I feel so roasted watching this! Whew! 😂 Got me checking myself here with my own book I'm writing. Thanks so much! So glad I came across your channel 💕
I will offer another case where "then" is useful: in the standalone phrase "and then" as a quick stop for contrasting pace after a fast or tense series of descriptions. So you've got a paragraph where one thing after another is happening, either in quick succession, or otherwise building lots of tension, over and over, no way out, eating away at your character left and right and all around -- and then... nothing. And then -- silence. And then, it stops. I think that use of "and then" can be extremely effective at both transitioning your pace *and* contrasting the pace itself with the chaos going on in the scene otherwise.
A few of your weak words actually worked for me. I liked them and thought they should be kept. Yet we get the point. Thanks so much. My general rule is to make every word on the page bright, clear, colorful, and engaging. Use every trick possible to make your reader not 'ready to put the book down just yet,' even though the dishes have been sitting in the sink for over three hours now and are starting to make the dog barf.
Thank you for all your help. Too many successful writers out there only offer advice that would improve our writing if we're willing to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars first. Learning from you feels like I'm in a writing group with the best and kindest teacher I've every had
Just, then, is/was, very/really, started I didn't know is/was were weak, and I didn't know adverbs were weak either. The other words I knew were weak but it was sorta a habit. The thing is, is I write how I talk, and I don't talk in good grammar at all. So that always means I got to edit a lot
I have a character who thinks and speaks in passive-voice because that's part of their communication culture, but I try to limit it to those instances only!~
A good tip for suddenly is to use sudden instead, it’s a lot less glaring. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. There was a sudden knock on the door.
This is good because suddenly describes perception which is redundant because we're already perceiving it. Sudden describes the actual action. The knock is sudden- that's a characteristic of the knock, maybe it's fast and sharp, maybe the knocks were really close together so it ended as soon as it started and felt jarring, but yeah this is an excellent tip
I struggle with both passive voice and "show don't tell" and honestly this is the best explanation of what I am doing wrong that I have ever found. Thank you.
I’m restarting my first novel because the first time I tried the pantser style. That didn’t work because I got to where I didn’t know what should come next. I’m going to do it this by the 3 Act story structure. But I have a question. What if I have more scenes or chapters between the plot points? Or am I suppose to? I’m new to this. Please help.
Take my advice with a grain of salt.. I'm not an accomplished writer nor am I highly educated. However, I am an avid reader and am in the beginnings of my writing dream. I would say that, whether or not you are "supposed to," you should have intent in what you include. If it's important to your story, keep it! If not, then maybe reconsider. Your story is what you make of it. Artistic choices such as additional story beats are your call as the artistic creator :) hope this helps, have a good day, stay safe, keep writing!
You make excellent points without falling into the trap that many young writers have fallen into. That being that everything you've learned is an absolute. You understand, and have a conveyed that the English language is nothing, if not filled with nuance. Wordsmithing in English is not for the faint of heart. Nice job Abbie. Well done.
Ohmigosh, I'm right there with you, Abbie! I just can't help it! "Just" does sound good! 😆 I think I'm guilty of using most of these, but I have gotten wise to some of them and keep an eye out.
I use almost every word except for seem and somehow. I have trouble with grammar and their rules so I mostly search for helping videos like this one. Very glad I found your youtbe channel, you explain, tell, and such as in this video; show straight forward how to not use or do use things while writing. Just what I need. Hoping my writing quality will increase after noting everything I learned from you!
"Using the word 'somehow' is a mark of lazy writing"
*"Somehow, Palpatine returned"*
Somehiw i scroll the comments section only to find Palpatine and i wasn't disappointed.
I swear all of our minds collectively went to that as soon as she said "somehow."
It's dialog, though, which was the exception.
*Next up:* "Somehow, Robert Downey Jr. returned."
Literally just came down here to comment this!
"Somehow... Palpatine returned." Lol
Guess I should omit the following sentence from my novel: “Very suddenly, I started to realize I was then just somewhat alive-somehow, it seemed, I had definitely survived death.”
It does fit well for a zombie comedy.
This is just from a reader's perspective as I don't write, but you should. The sentence feels too wordy, as if it's trying to fit in as many words as possible.
@@leewardly I think its a joke 💀
@@filo4854 yeh
This is what pay by word used to create,
Then suddenly, he realized that he was really just getting started on a somewhat intimidating venture of somehow writing something that definitely seemed worthwhile.
1. Suddenly
2. Then
3. Very/really
4. Is/Was
5. Started
6. Just
7. Somewhat/slightly
8. Somehow
9. Seem
10. Definitely
Thanks so much Abbie! Second draft is gonna have a lot of edits!
Wow I use suddenly a lot
@@leannemcelroy8482 same xD
2:43 suddenly
4:17 then
5:38 very/really
6:41 is/was
8:21 started
9:37 just
10:53 somewhat/slightly
12:27 somehow
13:59 seem
15:18 definitely
16:35 adverbs
@@oliverhellwig thanxxxx
I use suddenly so much-
I'm glad you specified that dialogue often uses "weak words"
Like "Somehow... Palpatine returned." Definitely not lazy writing!
Weak people do that all their lifespans long! 🤣
Can we have a moment of silence to appreciate how much research and time Abbie puts to make these videos for us and help us become the best writers possible 💛? Thank you, Abbie 😊.
I definitely agree. Abbie is a source of inspiration she is amazing and all the effort she put in her videos is what makes her special. She is unique and I loved her “100 days of sunlight” novel ✨💕
@@myownstory4030 She incredibly inspires me, too, and I wouldn't be where I am in my novel, to be honest, without her guidance to pull me through.
Blue_Moon_Wolf_07
I can definitely relate
I love Abbie's videos and I can really relate to how she explains things. I have the book she always refers to, Story Genius, but to have it explained in a video and have realistic examples given helps tremendously. Now I've been spoilt. Now when I watch videos from other RUclipsrs on the craft of writing, the explanations seem vague and the instructions on how to create characters especially seem to be almost clinical in comparison. Thank you, Abbie with an "ie"!
@@SusanCartersBooks Yup. Abbie has helped me more than any other writing channel. I get what you mean when you say they're "vague". They can be sometimes. She does explain really well, and it makes it so much easier and funner for me along the way 😊.
I have to say that I like the description "she was small and curvy" way more than "the dress hugged her curvy figure". I'm not sure why, but I'll try to explain. With the first description, an image immediately springs up in my mind. The second one is weirdly focused on her dress for some reason. Maybe if the narrator is super into dresses and clothes, it's good, but I am more interested in the character itself. If that makes sense.
Yea cuz the second one has the dress as the main focus and if you want her figure to be the main focus that isn't really the goal. So, if you want to focus on the dress, second one works best, and if you want to focus on her figure, first one works best.
Because the first one is an actual description that tells you what you need to know in a concise, clear, straightforward way, that everyone will understand right away and that can't be misinterpreted.
To me, the second one just sounds like someone trying too hard to write like a "proper" writer. I honestly hated books that used such descriptions everywhere. I always have to stop and do a double take, before I untangle the message, and then I'm just like "why did you say this in such a roundabout way?". And it could be interesting if there was an actual answer - that second description makes me feel like the dress has agency and personality, that perhaps there's a meaning behind that, maybe this is to highlight the character feeling a specific way, maybe this is foreshadowing for something else. But a lot of the time it seems like the only answer is "that's just how writing is done".
Especially if those are everywhere within a particular text - then I feel like *everything* demands focus, attention and deeper analysis, which quickly becomes exhausting to me. I get easily distracted and if there is too much of *that* in a row, I forget the actual story. It doesn't create a more vivid or lively image for me, which I imagine would be the point of writing like that, it just creates a mess of an abstract painting.
I don't mind flowery language and personification and whatnot, but I wish writers saved it for the important moments.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@Unelith completely agree. I think with these kinds of videos, as helpful as they are, something that should be taken into account is what kind of writer you're trying to be. Or at the very least a disclaimer to take things with a grain of salt.
@@turnbased608 These videos should always be taken with a big grain of salt. I would personally suggest to go and scrutinise books of authors you enjoy to read. I've seen many videos giving different types of 'forbidden' or 'undesirable' words. Or filter words as some call them. And then I go read a book from someone like Brandon Sanderson and see them using these words all the time. And not like 'when it makes sense' but willi-nilli as if they genuinely don't give a damn.
And you know what? It's enjoyable to read. Those words don't ruin anything.
I'm always wary of videos saying "never do this" because realistically you can't apply one rule to everything. But you not only explain how not to use it, but also how we CAN use it effectively. That is so much more useful to make sure we know what we're doing. I'm guilty of a lot of those and I feel like I can actually improve with this.
Same, this video is a banger
Lots of writers have this hangup about “Passive Voice” and I’m not sure why. I guess it’s when they are overused or misused. I love passive words... when I am describing passive things. Active words pack too much punch. Adverbs can change how the reader perceives your character and/or their actions. At least in how I read and how I write.
For instance, this is how I would read her examples:
So in her first example “sympathetically” it sounds soft and forgiving and, well, ‘passive’, so the “...we forgive you...” sounds genuine. However, using “sympathetic” sounds, to use her expression, “in your face” so ‘the forgiveness’ comes across, to me at least, as sarcastic or insincere. Same for the mom; “bitterly” is mild, so it sounds the mom is being passive aggressive. As opposed to her snapping, which sounds more like unbridled anger. You get an entirely different mental picture depending on the words used.
But maybe that's just me and I am weird. IMO Think about the scene in your head and use what’s best. I write for fun, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's an art not a science. The rules are fine but fiction is about creating a feeling - bringing something emotional out of the reader, helping them imagine your world. Doing that well doesn't follow simple logical rules
I agree with you. This "rules" are more like "it depends" at the end of the day.
No, i felt that too. Change of word can change the meaning entirely. I think the unnecessary word was when that one exact word got erased and the sentence felt the same as before.
Yeah, I actually noticed that change in feeling from a lot of the sentences. Like... there's a lot of internal voice that goes into "unnecessary" words. Like, "I definitely don't want to" just... sounds different than "I don't want to." A little more pleading, which fits with describing yourself as almost a "basketcase."
I agree. A lot of it depends on what kind of mood you want to set. Take a look at _The Night Circus_, for example. The passive voice is part of what gives it that dreamy, slightly removed from reality vibe. On the other hand, if you're writing an action thriller, passive voice will detract from the tension and momentum of the work.
I'm super guilty of writing in passive voice, using adverbs, and was/is. I feel like I need to rewire my brain to get out of passive headspace! Thanks for this great video, Abbie! Definitely going to save it to help me get through my editing.
Sabrina Hill-Davis honestly, I’ve read several traditionally published authors books where they use passive voice where they could’ve written the sentence differently and didn’t. I see so much passive voice in traditionally published books.
Same. Prowriting aid has been helping me with this.
Why is using adverbs considered a bad thing?
(I thought that was what the comment was saying, sorry if I misunderstood)
My perspective may be skewed as English is not my native language, despite it being the one to which I'm the most exposed and I use the most, but personally I find the good old is/was clear and effective, so long as they are not abused (e.g. a list of descriptors in which something/someone was A, was B, was C).
More creative active sentences are nice and work well when they are trying to deliver a specific tone or feeling or focus the reader's attention on a specific element. In other instances, I find they sound overly flowery and slightly pretentious, as well as making the sentence harder to follow (I feel the same when reading a text in my native language).
I think the best thing to do, if you feel this way, IS practice writing heavily in active voice. It definitely opens you up to more illustrative rather than descriptive sentences. However, there is definitely an art to knowing when you want the stream babbling and when the stream is silent. There's power in passive voice, it's more declarative. But you can't just declare everything, you have to show.
I like to think of it as painting all the colors of a good cartoon with the active voice and then the outlines with the passive. Active voice is the way it feels and flows and fills but passive is where it must be truly limited and defined.
"Somehow, Palpatine returned.", came to mind very quickly.
Suddenly, there was a notification in my inbox. Abbie uploaded a new video and I just had to click right away! She really gives very good advice. Abbie is a genius and that video was so helpful; I started watching it while I drank my morning coffee. I just think the information provided was somewhat helpful, even more than slightly. Somehow, I think I'll replay it again in the future and use it when I edit my manuscript. After all, it seemed really well thought out - the examples were so useful. I definitely love Wednesdays, because that's when Abbie graces us with new videos!
Bravo
well done
Me too.
Nice usage of the aforementioned weak words. ;)
Haha!
The verdict.....: He stares at me somehow blinking at me like im somewhat of ghost. Then he Suddenly seems to definitely pull off his headphones.
I think "very/really" may be my weak word dependency.
"Crutch" words
Search up synonyms for the words you partner with those,
You'll be surprised with the results
"Definitely" has its uses, especially when it is conveying 'voice.' Your character might use 'definitely' to emphasize how committed she is to not crying. The impact later, if she does cry, is quite a bit different than if she merely says, "I don't want to cry." Writing in first person legitimizes pretty much all of the things you discuss because we are basically hearing self-talk, so anything that flies in conversation has a shot at being acceptable.
Thanks, I was looking for this comment! I also found this example not fitting, as it is basically also "dialogue" because it is an inner monologue and can contain such idioms or even slang without distraction. You should definitely avoid it in a neutral description ;)
me that has used every single word she said in my stories: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine
When Abbie said "make your story matter" I started laughing because it sounded like she said, "make your story madder", which made sense to me because we are cutting words -- precious words from our stories! I love Abbie.
Madder? My story is crazy enough as it is
I'm guilty of EVERY SINGLE one of these
Glad I know now :3
dont worry i use all them all the time 😅
They're pretty normal words, you can use them just the matter is when.
Me too😅
*cough* Yeah, and you sure are the only person in this universe. NO, you are not! 😉
I definitely use definitely way too offen. I definitely have a problem with definitely needing to make it definite that my characters are definitely taking definitive action.
It's definitely showing
@@jtpikachu1012 LOL
@@jtpikachu1012 Definitely agree with you.
you are definitely overusing the word "definitely"
@@AlpineSunshine_ They definitely are. It definitely shows how much they need to cut it off from their vocabulary. It is definitely ruining it.
Just woke up totally not ready for school, first thing I see is Abby’s notification you know what that means...
Ima be late for school
Oh, well. These videos are a priority 😂.
Haha, I was having dinner, I'm about to go to bed now lol.
I feel like many people use "just" to soften their speech and become more relatable/likable. When I first started college, the girls would make fun of me for always using "big words" (and it was a private college), so I looked for ways to fit in better and cut the formality. But you're absolutely correct. We should not be less than we are to please others.
Wow! You mentioned that you use "just" for the same reason, that it just sounds nice, lol! Thanks for this (and for the humor)!
The best part of every Wednesday :)
I couldn't agree more 😊👍🏻. I get so excited when I realize that a new video is coming up the next day and is actually one of the first things I do in the morning.
I'm in Australia so it's more like a Thursday for me 😅
I'm from Spain (so I write in spanish) and I can tell this advice is good for every language. Thanks Abbie!
I write in French and I'd say the same 😊
I'm guilty of using 'slightly' and 'seemed' way too much. Man, oh man, I have a lot of editing to do. Thanks, Abbie! Your videos are fantastic!! :)
As always, love your content. One of these days, Abbie, I am going to finish my book. And it will be largely because of your videos.
She gives us the tip of deleting weak words, and unlike every other channel she makes a whole other 20 minute video about what those words are.
Abbie, you are amazing.
'Just' is one of my major filler words.
Thank you Abby for that app recommendation! Can't wait to check it out.
I totally agree that in dialog, weak words are often a fantastic option.... I'm also a fan of realistic dialog.
I had no idea just how many times I used "then" in my novel. Over 250 times in 178 pages. I deleted or reworded them down to 84 (some of them used with a different meaning). Thank you!
Part two Edit: I finished editing all the "just" words in my novel. Over 500 of them in 277 pages, down to 84. Holy hell! *EDIT: "was" - 1699 of them. I think I get why publishers have rejected my novel. The worst part is that I got my BA in English (Creative Writing) specifically to get a job as a proofreader/editor at a publishing company. I actually feel ashamed.
Well done! I'm about to go and check mine!
As a novice writer, I can't thank you enough for this video. Still doing my best to show and not tell, and this video really helps with that.
You might want to check out Ernest Hemingway's or Shirley Jackson's short stories and some of their novels if you want examples of how to show your stories. Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House and Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea are short novels because these two limit their narrators' voices and allow the characters to do the describing. Another good example of showing would be Hemingway's short story A Clean, Well Lighted Place.
I like this girl she gets to the point quicker than anyone else!
Thanks for using examples and for giving a follow up with a general rule as to where and where not to use these words. This video is a keeper, because the topic is so well presented! 😊🙌🏾
Lol, "just". I just culled 47 instances of this word from my short story. Down to 8, and mostly in dialogue that it fits.
I feel your pain on “just”. I did a read through of the novel I’m working on with the sole goal of removing as many “just’s” as possible. I think I got rid of 90% :)
Somehow Palpatine returned
As a romanian writer myself I can CONFIRM that we have the SAME PROBLEMS. AND YOUR ADVICES HELPED ME SO MUCH because I translated them mentally into my mother tongue and I was like:"Yup! This is practically the same!" So thanks! Love ya!❤
I tried to get rid of "that" (an often useless word) in one of my
manuscripts, but then, one of my other books was published and I went
over it one last time... I could have cried. "That" was everywhere.
*sigh*
I’m so glad I found your channel! Like many other commenters here, I am an aspiring writer but I have difficulty with writers block and I suspect it is because I’m unhappy with how my sentences look on paper. This helped me so much! I’m excited to try writing again!
Also I couldn’t help noticing that all of your examples are in present tense rather than a past tense like most books and stories. For instance, your example of “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snaps, turning away from us both.”” Usually you would see it as “”Speak for yourself,” Mom snapped, turning away from us both.” Why is that? Thanks 😊😊
me: looks at my writing for the word “was”
also me: 👁👄👁 there’s so many
Me too actually 😅
I hear you. After I watched this video, I realized how many times I used the word "Just".
Ikr😂
As a past tense righter, this would be hell 😅
I use "seem" a lot TT I'll cut when I finish my final manuscript
Think I'm most guilty of "Definitely" and "Seem". Most of these I'm (thankfully) already *painfully* aware of when I try to write anything 🙈
this is such good advice. I love your channel a lot because you not only say "cut it/delete it/do something else", but you explain the reason behind it and also say it's fine to use something for a special purpose. Most people just say "delete suddenly", but then you ask yourself why the word even exists if it should be banned all the time? So yes, thanks, great advice from you, I learned so, so much.
In the sentence: After that, she curls my hair for me. Shouldn't the "for me" be dropped too ?
Yes
ya
That would actually sound better
Maybe, but I feel like it implies that she wants it done. It could be "for her" when the other person wants it done and not her.
It depends
It is not necessarily bad, in fact that works if done right
I just have to say, I started looking out for "was" especially in my current novel and I USE IT SO MUCH. And the sentences are so much stronger and more poetic every time I restructure them. So thank you for that. The sad thing is I was taught this a FEW times and I still let the habit creep back in. Thanks for your great content.
Then! "And then they" is my writing block blocker...my filler phrase so I don't get stuck. It's satisfying to search the phrase and fill in the scene after writing the story!
Thanks for great videos. You're inspiring and so helpful!
Only a writer can make a 20 minute video to talk about 10 words.
Great video.
I love when a character talks realistically 😂
I am working on my first book and found your videos. I want to tell you how much this has helped me! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE WORK YOU PUT INTO YOUR VODEOS!!!
I once found 9 'just' and 15 'then' in a 1500 word chapter.
Thank you so much for this Abbie! I never realized how pointless these words can be. I went through one of my stories today and cut out a lot of these words when I saw them serving no purpose in my stories.
On top of all of the "when to keep and when to cut" rules, I'd add that, IMO, these rules can be bent or outright broken when it serves the tone (even beyond the dialogue). But, how to do that is contextual both to the over all work and the scene, so I get why it wouldn't be mentioned here.
I've had stories rolling around my brain for years I'm just beginning to write them down. I'm fairly new to writing thank you for your writing advice.
My first reaction to this video loading up was, "WOW, her hair looks AMAZING." 😂
"See how marginally better that is?" That's literally me whenever I edit my writing 😂
Abbie, you just ripped me of my most cherished vocabularies. All my favourite words 😫
I was _somewhat_ struggling with my writing, _then suddenly_ this video popped up and _then I started_ to listen, and it was _just_ as if things _somewhat started to_ make sense. Thank you _very_ much Abbie, _definitely_ gonna try this _really_ soon.
Lol😅
I'm so guilty of "then." Thank you for this video, it helped me clean up my writing!
This WAS JUST a great video. I SOMEHOW knew this would help me when it STARTED, and THEN the video ended and I WAS DEFINITELY correct. You SEEM like a REALLY great writer. I SUDDENLY had an irresistible urge to write this comment saying thank you. I hope it reads well, I think it IS SLIGHTLY great.
Seriously, thanks.
Abby Emmons! Removing the word "was" had some serious magical power with my writing. I couldn't get past the "dullness" of my writing. Having to work around using "was" has pressed my into further creativity and even if there are less words!! My paragraphs are so much more interesting now. Shorter but richer--keep up the good work!!
12:32
My first thought: "Somehow, Palpatine returned."
Abby calling out the Star Wars writers. XD
Calling out Disney for their atrocious handling of Star Wars!
My husband used to bash the prequels so bad... then Disney (who are usually very good with their storytelling) make up all their own rules that actually BREAK the Star Wars universe and now my husband has accepted the previously estranged Episodes because of the horrendous atrocity that is Rae and hyperspace ship destroying!!!!
Sorry Disney, you messed this up really bad.
~ 06:12 As someone who tends to overuse "actually", I am always alert to that particular word. And in your sentence "It's actually adorable -- soft beach waves that touch my shoulders," removing "actually" would strengthen your sentence. (I almost automatically said "would actually strengthen", but it's unnecessary there, as well.) Also, I would personally make one further change: "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping my shoulders," or possibly "It's adorable -- soft beach waves lapping at my shoulders."
I can't stop watching her video after I found this channel. Thank you so much, you are so inspiring me.
Finally, after a long time, i can do writing, and enjoy the process.
Warm greetings from Indonesia 😊
Finished my first novel a few weeks ago, starting the editing process now! This video is golden!
This was amazingly in-depth and SUPER helpful! I’m soooo glad to have come across you page. You got yourself a new subscriber. Thank you again!
Abbie you're the best! This exercise alone has greatly improved how my memoir reads, I used so many of those damn words!!
I'm incredibly guilty of 'just'
I was looking through the words using find and replace on chapter one in my books and thought. “wow I’m not using too much of any of these. Until I got to “was”… the computer said I used it 74 times. Time to edit!
These videos are literally the best!! They help me so much with my writing! Everybody..have a great day!!☺✅
Here are my own top 10 weak words / phrases:
1) Jeans.
2) Jean jacket.
3) Perm.
4) Synthesiser keyboard.
5) Rollerskates.
6) Synthesiser keyboard solo.
7) Cruise ship.
8) Dysentery
9) The ship listed and groaned.
10) I rose and struck him.
Some of those words I never thought about from that perspective. Your videos are always so helpful!!! 🥰🥰
I really appreciate that you give consideration for when to not cut these words. Exceptions exist in every rule of writing, I think. It's art after all.
When you realize you're not guilty of Weak Words Syndrome, and you get a sudden confidence boost. 😎😅
🙀
What I'm most guilty of is using way too many commas and repeating words. I also make things too obvious instead of trusting the readers to understand what I mean.
@@tiny754 Oh man! Yeah, me too. Like, hyper descriptive? But in a way that's more confusing than illuminating!!! This should be the second bonus answer...
@@MissRuthina Well not so much descriptions but like I over explain things in the dialogue. Also I switch back and forth between tenses and that's another big issue I have. The comma thing isn't actually that bad.
Nicole Jackson
Same! I suffer from OCD so It makes my, already comma-packed novels, worse. 😂
Hehe. Woops.
Turns out I use a lot of weak words. Especially "then," "is/was," "started," "somewhat/slightly," and "seem"
Saving this video for when I finish the first draft of my current story and begin the proofreading stage.
This was fantastic. Thanks for putting in all the work to make this!
i'm writing a short horror fanfiction, which is going to be my first ever story that I ever post publicly, and this video has helped me so much with editing. thank you so much abbie! ❤
Criiiinge...I remember writing; "*Insert character name* looked intrigued" FACE PALM DX
I am guilty of using weak words...I try not to..I'm usually aware I'm using a weak word or doing too much telling, but I suffer from writer's block at times and I word rather write crummy smut than nothing at all. Once I stared down at an empty page for probably 10 minutes because I was so afraid of writing something lame and amateur.
Well...I plan to worry about the rubbish in my stories when I edit them.
Thank you for this!
I was just watching this video, then I suddenly realized just how well you somehow seem to know your subject. It was very enlightening.
Abbie, I feel so roasted watching this! Whew! 😂 Got me checking myself here with my own book I'm writing. Thanks so much! So glad I came across your channel 💕
I will offer another case where "then" is useful: in the standalone phrase "and then" as a quick stop for contrasting pace after a fast or tense series of descriptions. So you've got a paragraph where one thing after another is happening, either in quick succession, or otherwise building lots of tension, over and over, no way out, eating away at your character left and right and all around -- and then... nothing. And then -- silence. And then, it stops.
I think that use of "and then" can be extremely effective at both transitioning your pace *and* contrasting the pace itself with the chaos going on in the scene otherwise.
I use suddenly all the time, I never know how to smoothly go from one action to another 😂😬
A few of your weak words actually worked for me. I liked them and thought they should be kept. Yet we get the point. Thanks so much. My general rule is to make every word on the page bright, clear, colorful, and engaging. Use every trick possible to make your reader not 'ready to put the book down just yet,' even though the dishes have been sitting in the sink for over three hours now and are starting to make the dog barf.
Thank you for all your help. Too many successful writers out there only offer advice that would improve our writing if we're willing to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars first. Learning from you feels like I'm in a writing group with the best and kindest teacher I've every had
Love listening to you as a podcast while writing & immediately using your advice
I follow a bunch of AuthorTubers and Abbie is undoubtedly the most professional. I look forward to her insights every week.
Just, then, is/was, very/really, started
I didn't know is/was were weak, and I didn't know adverbs were weak either. The other words I knew were weak but it was sorta a habit. The thing is, is I write how I talk, and I don't talk in good grammar at all. So that always means I got to edit a lot
Me: *using the word THEN and other fillers for Nano a lot so my word count goes up faster*
When I saw this title, my first thought was, “What about dialogue?” And there you are 2 minutes into the video. Thanks for sharing this list.
I have a character who thinks and speaks in passive-voice because that's part of their communication culture, but I try to limit it to those instances only!~
i wasn't sure whether this video was going to help or not, but now I am DEFINITELY following you 😂
A good tip for suddenly is to use sudden instead, it’s a lot less glaring.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
There was a sudden knock on the door.
Hey, that's a great tip!
This is good because suddenly describes perception which is redundant because we're already perceiving it. Sudden describes the actual action. The knock is sudden- that's a characteristic of the knock, maybe it's fast and sharp, maybe the knocks were really close together so it ended as soon as it started and felt jarring, but yeah this is an excellent tip
I struggle with both passive voice and "show don't tell" and honestly this is the best explanation of what I am doing wrong that I have ever found. Thank you.
I’m restarting my first novel because the first time I tried the pantser style. That didn’t work because I got to where I didn’t know what should come next. I’m going to do it this by the 3 Act story structure. But I have a question. What if I have more scenes or chapters between the plot points? Or am I suppose to? I’m new to this. Please help.
Take my advice with a grain of salt.. I'm not an accomplished writer nor am I highly educated. However, I am an avid reader and am in the beginnings of my writing dream.
I would say that, whether or not you are "supposed to," you should have intent in what you include. If it's important to your story, keep it! If not, then maybe reconsider. Your story is what you make of it. Artistic choices such as additional story beats are your call as the artistic creator :) hope this helps, have a good day, stay safe, keep writing!
This video is conveying less of a concept of weak words and more of a "use words appropriately to their definition"
Our teacher had a rule that said we weren’t allowed to use when. 😆
That's another word I'm guilty of. You know, *when* I write, I just can't keep it off my paper... Lol
You make excellent points without falling into the trap that many young writers have fallen into. That being that everything you've learned is an absolute. You understand, and have a conveyed that the English language is nothing, if not filled with nuance. Wordsmithing in English is not for the faint of heart. Nice job Abbie. Well done.
I'd add these to the list: Literally and Actually.
"Somehow Palpatine returned."
Ohmigosh, I'm right there with you, Abbie! I just can't help it! "Just" does sound good! 😆
I think I'm guilty of using most of these, but I have gotten wise to some of them and keep an eye out.
Somehow Palpatine returned......
I use almost every word except for seem and somehow. I have trouble with grammar and their rules so I mostly search for helping videos like this one. Very glad I found your youtbe channel, you explain, tell, and such as in this video; show straight forward how to not use or do use things while writing. Just what I need. Hoping my writing quality will increase after noting everything I learned from you!
SOMEHOW palpatine returned
Multimillion dollar budget. They had a multimillion dollar budget and they wrote "Somehow, Palpatine returned"